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FOLLOWIN G 
THE  EQUATOR 

A  JOURNEY  AROUND  THE  WORLD 


BY 


MARK   TWAIN 


SAMUEL      L.      CLEMENS 


.-rrfnte- 


HARTFORD  NEW  YORK 

AMERICAN  PUBLISHING  CO.       DOUBLEDAY  &  McCLURE  CO. 

MDCCCXCVII 


COPYRIGHT    1897 
BY 

OLIVIA  L.  CLEMENS 

(ALL    RIGHTS    RESERVED) 


THIS    BOOK 
Us  SffecttonatelB  flnscrtbeD  to 

MY   YOUNG   FRIEND 

HARRY    ROGERS, 

with  recognition 

of  what  he  is,  and  apprehension  of  what  he  may  become 

unless  he  form  himself  a  little  moke  closely 

upon  the   model   of 

The  Author. 


THE   PUDFXHEAD   MAXIMS. 

THESE  WISDOMS  ARE  FOR  THE  LURING  OF  YOUTH  TOWARD 

HIGH   MORAL   ALTITUDES.      THE   AUTHOR   DID   NOT 

GATHER  THEM   FROM   PRACTICE,   BUT   FROM 

OBSERVATION.    TO  BE  GOOD  IS  NOBLE  ; 

BUT    TO    SHOW    OTHERS    HOW 

TO  BE  GOOD  IS  NOBLER 

AND  NO  TROUBLE. 


CONTENTS 


SB 


§ 


CHAPTER   I. 

The  Party  —  Across  America  to  Vancouver  —  On  Board  the 
Warrimo — Steamer  Chairs  —  The  Captain  —  Going  Home 
under  a  Cloud  —  A  Gritty  Purser — The  Brightest  Passenger 
—  "Remedy  for  Bad  Habits  —  The  Doctor  and  the  Lumbago  —  A 
Moral  Pauper  —  Limited  Smoking — Remittance-men.     ...       25 

CHAPTER  II. 

Change  of  Costume  —  Fish,  Snake,  and  Boomerang  Stories  — 
Tests  of  Memory  —  A  Brahmin  Expert  —  General  Grant's 
Memory  —  A  Delicately  Improper  Tale 35 

CHAPTER  III. 
Honolulu  —  Reminiscences  of  the  Sandwich  Islands  —  King  Liholiho 
and  His   Royal  Equipment — The  Tabu  —  The  Population  of 
the  Island  —  A  Kanaka  Diver  —  Cholera  at  Honolulu  —  Hono- 
lulu, Past  and  Present — The  Leper  Colony 48 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Leaving  Honolulu  —  Flying-fish  —  Approaching  the  Equator  — 
Why  the  Ship  Went  Slow  — The  Front  Yard  of  the  Ship  — 
Crossing  the  Equator  —  Horse  Billiards  or  Shovel  Board  —  The 
Waterbury  Watch  —  Washing  Decks  —  Ship  Painters  —  The 
Great  Meridian  —  The  Loss  of  a  Day  —  A  Babe  without  a 
Birthday 65 

CHAPTER  V 
A.  Lesson  in  Pronunciation  —  Reverence  for  Robert  Burns — The 
Southern  Cross  —  Troublesome  Constellations  —  Victoria  for  a 
Name  —  Islands  on  the  Map  —  Alofa  and  Fortuna  —  Recruit- 
ing for  the  Queensland  Plantations  —  Captain  Warren's  Xote- 
Book  —  Recruiting  not  thoroughly  Popular 77 

(7) 


8  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER   VI. 
Missionaries    Obstruct    Business  —  The     Sugar    Planter    and   the 
Kanaka  —  The     Planter's    View  —  Civilizing    the    Kanaka  — 
The  Missionary's  View  —  The  Result  —  Repentant  Kanakas  - 
Wrinkles  —  The  Death  Rate  in  Queensland 83 

CHAPTER  VII. 
The  Fiji  Islands  —  Suva  —  The  Ship  from  Duluth  —  Going  Ashore 
-.Midwinter  in  Fiji  —  Seeing  the  Governor — -Why   Fiji   was 
Ceded  to  England — Old  time  Fijians  —  Convicts  among  the 
Fijians — A   Case    Where    Marriage    was  a  Failure  —  Immor- 
tality with  Limitations !)1 

CHAPTER   VIII. 
A    "Wilderness    of    Islands  —  Two  Men    without    a     Country  —  A 
Naturalist  from  New  Zealand  —  The  Fauna  of  Australasia  - 
Animals,   Insects,   and  Birds  —  The  Ornithorhyncus  —  Poetry 
and  Plagiarism 99 

CHAPTER  IX. 
Close    to   Australia  —  Porpoises  at    Night  —  Entrance   to   Sydney 
Harbor — The   Loss  of   the  Duncan   Dunbar    -The  Harbor  - 
The  City  of  Sydney  —  Spring-time  in  Australia  —  The  Climate 
—  Information  for  Travelers  —  The  Size  of  Australia  —  A  Dust- 
Storm  and  Hot  Wind 109 

CHAPTER  X. 
The  Discovery  of  Australia  —  Transportation  of  Convicts  —  Disci- 
pline—  English  Laws.  Ancient  and  Modern  —  Flogging  Prison- 
ers to  Death  —  Arrival  of  Settlers  —  New  South  Wales  Corps  — 
Rum  Currency  —  Intemperance  Everywhere  —  $100,000  for 
One  Gallon  of  Rum  —  Development  of  the  Country —  Immense 
Resources 11!» 

CHAPTER  XL 

Hospitality  of  English-speaking  People  —  Writers  and  their  Grati- 
tude —  Mr.  Gane  and  the  Panegyrics  —  Population  of  Sydney  — 
An  English  City  with  American  Trimming — "Squatters" 
Palaces  and  Sheep  Kingdoms — Wool  and  Mutton  —  Austra- 
lians and  Americans  —  Costermonger  Pronunciation  — England 
is  "Home"    -Table  Talk  —  English   and   Colonial  Audiences     124 

CHAPTER   XII. 

Mr.  X.,  a  Missionary  —  Why  Christianity  Makes  Slow  Progress  in 
India  —  A    Large    Dream  —  Hindoo  Miracles   and  Legends  — 
Sampson  and    Hanuman — The  Sandstone  Ridge  —  Where  are 
the  Gates? 132 


CONTENTS.  9 

CHAPTER   XIII. 

Public  AVorks  in  Australasia  —  Botanical  Garden  of  Sydney  —  Four 
Special  Socialties  —  The  Government  House  —  A  Governor  and 
His  Functions  —  The  Admiralty  House  —  The  Tour  of  the  Har- 
bor—Shark Fishing  —  Cecil  Rhodes'  Shark  and  his  First 
Fortune  —  Free  Board  for  Sharks   ....._ 137 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

]  5ad  Health  —  To  Melbourne  by  Rail  —  Maps  Defective  —  The  Colony 
of  Victoria  —  A  Round-trip  Ticket  from  Sydney  —  Change  Cars, 
from  Wide  to  Narrow  Gauge,  a  Peculiarity  at  Albury  — 
Customs-fences — "My  Word''  — The  Blue  Mountains  — 
Rabbit  Piles — Government  R.  R.  Restaurants  —  Duchesses  for 
Waiters —"  Sheep-dip  "  -Railroad  Coffee  —  Things  Seen  and 
Not  Seen 151 

CHAPTER   XV. 
Wigga-Wagga — The    Tichborne   Claimant  —  A    Stock   Mystery - 
The  Plan   of    the   Romance  —  The   Realization  —  The    Henry 
Bascom    Mystery  —  Bascom    Hall  —  The   Author's   Death   and 
Funeral 156 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

Melbourne  and  its  Attractions  —  The  Melbourne  Cup  Races  —  Cup 
Day  —  Great  Crowds — Clothes  Regardless  of  Cost  —  The 
Australian  Larrikin  —  Is  He  Dead  ?  —  Australian  Hospitality  — 
Melbourne  Wool-brokers  —  The  Museums  —  The  Palaces—  The 
Origin  of  Melbourne 161 

CHAPTER   XVII. 

The  British  Empire  —  Its  Exports  and  Imports  —  The  Trade  of 
Australia  —  To  Adelaide  —  Broken  Hill  Silver  Mine  —  A  Round- 
about road —  The  Scrub  and  its  Possibilities  for  the  Novel- 
ist—  The  Aboriginal  Tracker  —  A  Test  Case  —  How  Does  One 
Cow-Track  Differ  from  Another  ? .     .     .     .     170 

CHAPTER    XVIII. 

The  Gum  Trees  —  Unsociable  Trees  —  Gorse  and  Broom — A 
Universal  Defect— An  Adventurer  —  Wanted  £20(1,  got  £20,- 
000,000  — A  Vast  Land  Scheme  — The  Smash-up  — The  Corpse 
Got  Up  and  Danced  —  A  Unique  Business  by  One  Man  — 
Buying  the  Kangaroo  Skin  —  Tim  Approach  to  Adelaide  — 
Everything  Comes  to  Him  who  Waits  —  A  Healthy  Religious 
Atmosphere  —  What  is  the  Matter  with  the  Specter  ?   ....     170 


10  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTEE   XIX. 

The  Botanical  Gardens  —  Contributions  from  all  Countries  —  The 
Zoological  Gardens  of  Adelaide  —  The  Laughing  Jackass  — 
The  Dingo  —  A  .Misnamed  Province  —  Telegraphing  from 
Melbourne  to  San  Francisco  —  A  Mania  for  Holidays  —  The 
Temperature  —  The  Death  Bate  —  Celebration  of  the  Eeading  of 
the  Proclamation  of  1836  —  Some  old  Settlers  at  the  Com- 
memoration —  Their  Staying  Powers  —  The  Intelligence  of 
the  Aboriginal  —  The  Antiquity  of  the  Boomerang    .     .     .     .     1S4 

CHAPTER  XX. 

A  Caller  — A  Talk  about  Old  Times  — The  Fox  Hunt  — An 
Accurate  Judgment  of  an  Idiot  —  How  We  Passed  the  Custom 
Officers  in  Italy 195 

CHAPTER   XXI. 

The  "Weet-Weet" —  Keeping  down  the  Population  —  Victoria — 
Killing  the  Aboriginals  —  Pioneer  Days  in  Queensland  — 
Material  for  a  Drama  —  The  Bush — Pudding  with  Arsenic  — 
Revenge — A  Right  Spirit  but  a  Wrong  Method  —  Death  of 
Donga  Billy 206 

CHAPTER   XXII. 

Continued  Description  of  Aboriginals  —  Manly  Qualities — Dodg- 
ing Balls  —  Feats  of  Spring  —  Jumping  —  Where  the  Kangaroo 
Learned  its  Art  —  Well  Digging  —  Endurance  —  Surgery  — 
Artistic  Abilities  —  Fennimore  Cooper's  Last  Chance  —  Aus- 
tralian Slang 214 

CHAPTER  XXII 1. 

To  Horsham  (Colony  of  Victoria)  —  Description  of  Horsham  —  At 
the  Hotel — Pepper  Tree  —  The  Agricultural  College,  Forty 
Pupils  —  High  Temperature  — Width  of  Road  in  Chains,  Perches, 
etc. —  The  Bird  with  a  Forgetable  Name  —  The  Magpie  and  the 
Lady  —  Fruit  Trees  —  Soils  —  Sheep  Shearing  —  To  Stawell- 
Gold  Mining  Country  —  $75,000  per  Month  Income  and  able  to 
Keep  House  —  Fine  Grapes  and  Wine  —  TheDryest  Community 
on  Earth— The  Three  Sisters— Gum  Trees  and  Water    ...     223 

CHAPTER   XXIV. 
Road  to  Ballarat  — The  City  — Great  Gold  Strike,  1«.")1  —  Rush  for 
Australia  —  "  Great  Nuggets  " —  Taxation  —  Revolt   and  Vic- 
tory —  Peter  Lalor  and  the  Eureka  Stockade  —  "  Pencil  Mark  " 
-Fine  Statuary  at  Ballarat  —  Population  —  Ballarat  English     230 


CONTENTS.  11 

CHAPTER   XXV. 

Bound  for  Bendigo — The  Priest  at  Castlemaine  —  Time  Saved  by 

Walking  —  Description    of    Bendigo  —  A   Valuable  Nugget  - 
Perseverence  and  Success  —  Mr.  Blank   and    His  Influence  - 
Conveyance  of  an  Idea  —  I  Had  to  Like  the  Irishman  —  Corri- 
gan  Castle,  and  the  Mark  Twain  Club — My  Bascom  Mystery 
Solved 241 

CHAPTER   XXVI. 

Where  New  Zealand   Is  —  But  Few  Know  —  Things  People  Think 

They  Know  —  The  Yale  Professor  and  His  Visitor  from  N.  Z.     251 

CHAPTER   XXVI I. 

The  South  Pole  Swell  —  Tasmania  —  Extermination  of  the  Natives 
-The  Picture  Proclamation — The  Conciliator  —  The  Formid- 
able Sixteen ' 256 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 
"When  the  Moment  Comes  the  Man  Appears  —  Why  Ed.  Jackson 
called  on  Commodore  Vanderbilt  —  Their  Interview  —  Welcome 
to  the  Child  of  His  Friend  —  A  Big  Time  but  under  Inspec- 
tion—  Sent  on  Important  Business —  A  Visit  to  the  Hoys  on  the 
Boat 268 

CHAPTER   XXIX. 

Tasmania,  Early  Days  —  Description  of  the  Town  of  Hobart  —  An 
Englishman's  Love  of  Home  Surroundings  —  Neatest   City  on 
Earth  —  The  Museum  —  A  Parrot  with  an  Acquired   Taste- 
Glass  Arrow  Beads —  Refuge  for  the  Indigent  too  healthy   .     .     27!) 

CHAPTER   XXX. 

Arrival  at  Bluff,  N.  Z.—  Where  the   Rabbit   Plague   Began  — The 
Natural  Enemy  of  the  Rabbit  —  Dunedin  —  A  Lovely  Town  — 
A  Visit  to  I  >r.  H<  ickin  —  His  Museum  —  A  Liquified  Caterpiller — 
The  Unperfeeted  Tape  Worm —  The  Public  Museum  and  Picture 
Gallery 285 

CHAPTER   XXXI. 

The  Express  Train  —  "  A  Hell  of  a  Hotel  at  Maryborough  "—Clocks 

and  Bells  —  Railroad  Service 290 

CHAPTER   XXXII. 

Description  of  the  Town  of  Christ  Church  —  A  Fine  Museum  — 
-lade-stone  Trinkets  —  The  Greal  Moa  —  The  Firsl  Maori  in  Xew 
Zealand — Women   Voters — "Person"  in    New  Zealand    Law 


12  CONTENTS. 

Includes  Woman  —  Taming  an  Ornithorhyncus  —  A  Voyage  in 
the  Flora  from  Lyttelton —  Cattle  Stalls  for  Everybody  —  A 
Wonderful  Time 297 

CHAPTER   XXXIII. 
The   Town    of   Nelson  —  "The    Mongatapu   Murders,"    the    Great 
Event  of  the  Town  —  Burgess'  Confession  —  Summit  of  Mount 
Eden  —  Rotorua  and  the  Hot  Lakes  and  Geysers  —  Thermal 
Springs  District  —  Kauri  Gum  —  Tangariwa  Mountains      .     .     305 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

The  Bay  of  Gisborne  —  Taking  in  Passengers  by  the  Yard  Arm  — 
The  Green  Ballarat  Fly  —  False  Teeth  —  From  Napier  to  Hast- 
ings by  the  Ballarat  Fly  Train  —  Kauri  Trees  —  A  Case  of 
Mental  Telegraphy 312 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 
Fifty  Miles  in  Four  Hours  —  Comfortable  Cars  --  Town  of  Wauga- 
nui  —  Plenty  of  Maoris  —  On  the  Increase  —  Compliments  to 
the  Maoris— The  Missionary  Ways  all  Wrong  —  The  Tabu 
among  the  Maoi'is —  A  Mysterious  Sign — Curious  War -monu- 
ments— -Wellington 318 

CHAPTER   XXXVI. 

The  Poems  of  Mrs.  Moore  — The  Sad  Fate  of  William  Upson  — A 
Fellow  Traveler  Imitating  the  Prince  of  Wales  —  A  Would-be 
Dude  —  Arrival  at  Sydney — Curious  Town  Names  with  Poem     324 

CHAPTER  XXXVII. 
From  Sydney  for  Ceylon  —  A  Lascar  Crew  —  A  Fine  Ship  —  Three 
Cats  and  a  Basket  of  Kittens  —  Dinner  Conversations  — 
Veuve  Cliquot  Wine  — At  Anchor  in  King  George's  Sound 
Albany  Harbor  —  More  Cats  —  A  Vulture  on  Board  —  Nearing 
the  Equator  again  —  Dressing  for  Dinner  —  Ceylon,  Hotel  Bris- 
tol—  Servant  Brampy  —  A  Feminine  Man  —  Japanese  Jin- 
riksha  or  Cart  —  Scenes  in  Ceylon  —  A  Missionary  School  — 
Insincerity  of  Clothes 331 

CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 
Steamer  Rosetta  to  Bombay  —  Limes  14  cents  a  Barrel  —  Bombay, 
a  Bewitching  City  —  Descriptions  of  People  and  Dress  —  Woman 
as  a  Road  Decoration  — India,  the  Land  of  Dreams  and  Ro- 
mance—Fourteen Porters  to  Carry  Baggage — Correcting  a 
Servant  —  Killing  a  Slave — Arranging  a  Bedroom  —  Three 
Hours' Work  and  a  Terrible  Racket  — The  Bird  of  Birds,  the 
Indian  Crow 345 


CONTENTS.  13 

CHAPTER  XXXIX. 

God  Vishnu,  108  Names  —  Change  of  Titles  or  Hunting  for  an 
Heir  —  Bombay  as  a  Kaleidoscope  —  The  Native's  Man  Ser- 
vant—  Servants'  Recommendations  —  How  Manuel  got  his 
Name  and  his  English  —  Satan  —  A  Visit  from  God      .     .     .     357 

CHAPTER   XL. 

The  Government  House  at  Malabar  Point  —  Mansion  of  Kumar 
Shri  Samatsin  Hji  Bahadur  —  The  Indian  Princess— A  Diffi- 
cult Game — Wardrobe  and  Jewels  —  Ceremonials  —  Decora- 
tions when  Leaving  —  The  Towers  of  Silence  —  A  Funeral     .     369 

CHAPTER   XLI. 

A  Jain  Temple  —  Mr.  Roychand's  Bungalow  —  A  Decorated  Six- 
Gun  Prince — Human  Fireworks  —  European  Dress,  Past  and 
Present — Complexions  —  Advantages  with  the  Zulu  —  Festivi- 
ties at  the  Bungalow- — Nautch  Dancers  —  Entrance  of  the 
Prince  —  Address  to  the  Prince 379 

CHAPTER   XLII. 

A  Hindoo  Betrothal,  midnight,  Sleepers  on  the  ground,  Home  of 
the  Bride  of  Twelve  Years  Dressed  as  a  Boy  —  Illumination  — 
Nautch  Girls  —  Imitating  Snakes  —  Later  —  Illuminated  Porch 
Filled  with  Sleepers  — The  Plague 386 

CHAPTER   XLIII. 

Murder  Trial  in  Bombay  —  Confidence  Swindlers  —  Some  Special- 
ties of  India  — The  Plague,  Juggernaut,  Suttee,  etc. — Every- 
thing on  Gigantic  Scale  —  India  First  in  Everything  —  80  States, 
more  Custom  Houses  than  Cats  —  Rich  Ground  for  Thug  Society     392 

CHAPTER  XLIV. 
Official  Thug  Book  —  Supplies  for  Traveling,  Bedding,  and  other 
Freight  —  Scene  at  Railway  Station  —  Making  Way  for  White 
Man  —  Waiting  Passengers,  High  and  Low  Caste,  Touch  in  the 
Cars  —  Our  Car — Beds  made  up  —  Dreaming  of  Thugs  — 
Baroda  — Meet  Friends  —  Indian  Well  — The  Old  Town — 
Narrow  Streets  —  A  Mad  Elephant 400 

CHAPTER   XLV. 
Elephant  Riding  —  Howdahs  —  The  New  Palace  —  The  Prince's  Ex- 
cursion —  Gold   and   Silver   Artillery  —  A  Vice-royal  Visit  — 
Remarkable  Dog  —  The  Bench  Show— Augustin  Daly's  Back 
Door  —  Fakeer 410 


14  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER   XLVI. 

The  Thugs  —  Government  Efforts  to  Exterminate  them  —  Choking 

a  Victim  —  A  Fakeer  Spared  —  Thief  Strangled 426 

CHAPTER   XLVI  I. 

Thugs,  Continued  —  Record  of   Murders  —  A   Joy  of  Hunting  and 
Killing     Men  —  Gordon     Gumming    Killing     an    Elephant  - 
Family  Affection  among  Thugs  —  Burial  Places 437 

CHAPTER   XLVIII. 

Starting  for  Allahabad  —  Lower  Berths  in  Sleepers  —  Elderly  Ladies 
have  Preference  of  Berths  — An  American  Lady  Takes  One 
Anyhow  —  How  Smythe  Lost  his  Berth  —  How  He  Got  Even  — 
The  Suttee 417 

CHAPTER  XLIX. 

Pyjamas —  Day  Scene  in  India  —  Clothed  in  a  Turban  and  a  Pocket 
Handkerchief  —  Land  Parceled  Out  —  Established  Village  Ser- 
vants—  Witches  in  Families  —  Hereditary  Midwifery  —  De- 
struction of  Girl  Babies — Wedding  Display  — Tiger-Persuader— 
Hailstorm  Discourager  —  The  Tyranny  of  the  Sweeper  — 
Elephant  Driver  —  Water  Carrier  —  Curious  Rivers  —  Arrival 
at  Allahabad  —  English  Quarter  —  Lecture  Hall  Like  a  Snow- 
storm —  Private  Carriages  —  A  Milliner  —  Early  Morning  - 
The  Squatting  Servant  —  A  Religious  Fair 459 

CHAPTER  L. 

On  the  Road  to  Benares — Dust  and  Waiting  —  The  Bejeweled 
Crowd  —  A  Native  Prince  and  his  Guard  —  Zenana  Lady  — 
The  Extremes  of  Fashion  —  The  Hotel  at  Benares  —  An  Annex 
a  Mile  Away  —  Doors  in  India  — The  Peepul  Tree  —  Warning 
against  Cold  Baths  —  A  Strange  Fruit  —  Description  of  Benares 
—  The  Beginning  of  Creation —  Pilgrims  to  Benares  — A  Priest 
with  a  Good  Business  Stand  —  Protestant  Missionary -- The 
Trinity  Brahma,  Shiva,  and  Vishnu  —  Religion  the  Business  at 
Benares 475 

CHAPTER   LI. 
Benares  a  Religious  Temple  —  A  Guide  for  Pilgrims  to  Save  Time 

in  Securing  Salvation 484 


*& 


CHAPTER   LII. 
Curious  Way  to  Secure  Salvation  —  The  Banks  of  the  Ganges - 
Architecture  Represents  Piety  —  A  Trip  on  the  River  —  Bathers 
and  their  Costumes  —  Drinking  the  Water  —  A  Scientific  Test 
of  the  Nasty  Purifier  —  Hindoo  Faith  in  die  Ganges —  A  Ore- 


CONTEXTS.  15 

mation  —  Remembrances  of  the  Suttee  —  All  Life  Sacred  Ex- 
cept Human  Life  —  The  Goddess  Bhowanee.  and  the  Sacrifi- 
cers  —  Sacred  Monkeys  —  Ugly  Idols  Everywhere  —  Two  White 
Minarets  —  A  Great  View  with  a  Monkey  in  it  —  A  Picture 
on  the  Water 496 

CHAPTER   L1II. 
Still  in  Benares  —  Another  Living  God  —  Why  Things  arc  Wonder- 
ful —  Sri  108  —  Utterly  Perfect  —  How  He  Came  so  —  Our  Visit 
1 1 i  Sri  —  A  Friendly  Diety  —  Exchanging  Autographs  and  Bo<  >ks 
-Sri's  Pupil  —  An  Interesting  Man  —  Reverence  and  Irrever- 
ence—  Dancing  in  a  Sepulchre 507 

CHAPTER  LIV. 

By  Rail  to  Calcutta  — Population  — The  "City  of  Palaces"  — A 
Fluted  Candlestick  —  Ochterlony  —  Newspaper  Correspondence 

—  Average  Knowledge  of  Countries  —  A  Wrong  Idea  of  Chi- 
cago —  Calcutta  and  the  Black  Hole  —  Description  of  the 
Horrors  —  Those  Who  Lived  —  The  Botanical  Gardens  —  The 
Afternoon  Turnout —  Grand  Review  —  Military  Tournament  — 
Excursion  on  the  Hoogly — The  Museum  —  What  Winter  Means 

in  Calcutta 517 

CHAPTER  LV. 

On  the  Road  Again  —  Flannels  in  Order  —  Across  Country  —  From 
Greenland's  Icy  Mountain  —  Swapping  Civilization  —  No  Field 
Women  in  India  —  How  it  is  in  Other  Countries — Canvas- 
covered  Cars  —  The  Tiger  Country  —  My  First  Hunt  —  Some 
Wild  Elephants  Get  Away  —  The  Plains  of  India  —  The  Ghurkas 
Women  for  Pack-Horses  —  A  Substitute  for  a  Cab — Dar- 
jeeling  —  The  Hotel  —  The  Highest  Thing  in  the  Himalayas  — 
The  Club  —  Kinchinjunga  and  Mt.  Everest  —  Thibetans  —  The 
Prayer  Wheel  —  People  Going  to  the  Bazar 524 

CHAPTER   LVI. 

On  the  Road  Again  — The  Hand-Car  — A  Thirty-five-mile  Slide  — 
The  Banyan  Tree  —  A  Dramatic  Performance  —  The  Railroad 
Loop  —  The  Half-way  House  —  The  Brain  Fever  Bird  —  The 
Coppersmith  Bird  —  Nightingales  and  Cue  Owls 535 

CHAPTER   LVII. 
India,  the  Most  Extraordinary  Country  on  Earth — Nothing   For- 
gotten —  The  Land  of  Wonders  —  Annual  Statistics  Everywhere 
about  Violence  —  Tiger  vs.  Man  —  A  Handsome  Fight  —  An- 
nual Man  Killing  and  Tiger  Killing  —  Other  Animals  —  Snakes 

—  Insurance  and  Snake  Tables  —  The  Cobra  Bite  —  Muzaff ur- 


16  CONTENTS. 

pore  —  Dinapore  —  A    Train    that    Stopped    for    Gossip  —  Six 
Hours  for   Thirty-rive  Miles  —  A  Rupee  to  the    Engineer  — 
Ninety  Miles  an  Hour  —  Again  to  Benares,  the  Piety  Hive  — 
To  Lucknow 0-44 

CHAPTER  LVIIL 

The  Great  Mutiny  —  The  Massacre  in  Cawnpore  —  Terrible  Scenes 

in  Lucknow  —  The  Residency  —  The  Siege 54'j 

CHAPTER   LIX. 

A  Visit  to  the  Residency —  Cawnpore  —  The  Adjutant  Bird  and  the 
Hindoo  Corpse  —  The  Taj  Mahal  —  The  True  Conception  —  The 
Ice  Storm — True  Gems —  Syrian  Fountains  —  An  Exaggerated 
Niagara 567 

CHAPTER   LX. 

To  Lahore  —  The  Governor's  Elephant  —  Taking  a  Ride  —  No  Dan- 
ger from  Collision  —  Rawal  Pindi — Back  to  Delhi  —  An 
Orientalized  Englishman  —  Monkeys  and  the  Paint-pot  — 
Monkey  Crying  over  my  Note-book  —  Arrival  at  Jeypore — In 
Rajputana — Watching  Servants — The  Jeypore  Hotel — Our 
Old  and  New  Satan  —  Satan  as  a  Liar  —  The  Museum  —  A 
Street  Show  —  Blocks  of  Houses  —  A  Religious  Procession     .     582 

CHAPTER   LXI. 

Methods  in  American  Deaf  and  Dumb  Asylums  —  Methods  in  the 
Public  Schools  —  A  Letter  from  a  Youth  in  Punjab  —  Highly 
Educated  Service  —  A  Damage  to  the  Country  —  A  Little  Book 
from  Calcutta  —  Writing  Poor  English  —  Embarrassed  by  a 
Beggar  Girl  —  A  Specimen  Letter  —  An  Application  for  Em- 
ployment—  A  Calcutta  School  Examination  —  Two  Samples  of 
Literature 597 

CHAPTER   LXII. 

Sail  from  Calcutta  to  Madras  — Thence  to  Ceylon  —  Thence  for 
Mauritius  —  The  Indian  Ocean  —  Our  Captain's  Peculiarity  - 
The  Scot  Has  One  too —  The  Flying-fish  that  Went  Hunting  in 
the  Field  —  Fined  for  Smuggling  —  Lots  of  Pets  on  Board  — 
The  Color  of  the  Sea  —  The  Most  Important  Member  of  Nature's 
Family  — The  Captain's  Story  of  Cold  Weather  —  Omissions 
in  the  Ship's  Library  —  Washing  Decks  —Pyjamas  on  Deck  — 
The  Cat's  Toilet  — No  Interest  in  the  Bulletin  —  Perfect  Rest  — 
The  Milky  Way  and  the  Magellan  Clouds  —  Mauritius  —  Port 
Louis  —  A  Hot  Country  —  Under  French  Control  —  A  Variety 
of  People  and  Complexions  —  Train  to  Curepipe  —  A  Wonder- 


CONTENTS.  1 7 

ful  Office-holder  — The  Wooden  Peg  Ornament  —  The  Promi- 
nent Historical  Event  of  Mauritius—  "  Paul  and  Virginia"  — 
One  of  Virginia's  Wedding  Gifts  — Heaven  Copied  after  Mau- 
ritius—Early  History  of  Mauritius  —  Quarantines  —  Population 
of  all  Kinds  — What  the  World  Consists  of  — Where  Russia  and 
Germany  are  —  A  Picture  of  Milan  Cathedral  — Newspapers  — 
The  Language  —  Best  Sugar  in  the  World  —  Literature  of  Mau- 
ritius   609 

CHAPTER  LXIII. 
Port  Louis  — Matches  no  Good  — Good  Roads  — Death    Notices 
Why  European  Nations  Rob  Each  Other  — What    Immigrants 
to  Mauritius  Do  —  Population  —  Labor  Wages  —  The  Camaron 

—  The  Palmiste  and  other  Eatables  —  Monkeys  —  The  Cyclone 

of  1892  —  Mauritius  a  Sunday  Landscape 622 

CHAPTER  LXIV. 
The  Steamer  "Arundel  Castle"*  — Poor  Beds  in  Ships  — The  Beds 
in  Noah's  Ark  — Getting  a  Rest  in  Europe  — Ship  in  Sight  — 
Mozambique  Channel — The  Engineer  and  the  Band — 
Thackeray's  "  Madagascar  "—  Africanders  Going  Home  —  Sing- 
ing on  the  After  Deck  —  An  Out-of-Place  Story  —  Dynamite 
Explosion  in  Johannesburg  —  Entering  Delagoa  Bay  —  Ashore 

—  A  Hot  Winter  —  Small  Town  —  No  Sights  —  No  Carriages  — 
Working  Women  —  Barnum's  Purchase  of  Shakespeare's  Birth- 
place, Jumbo,  and  the  Nelson  Monument  —  Arrival  at  Durban     630 

CHAPTER   LXV. 

Royal  Hotel  Durban  —  Bells  that  Did  not  Ring — Early  Inquiries 
for  Comforts  —  Change  of  Temperature  after  Sunset  —  Rick- 
shaws —  The  Hotel  Chameleon  —  Natives  not  out  after  the  Bell 

—  Preponderance  of  Blacks  in  Natal  —  Hair  Fashions  in  Natal 

—  Zulus  for  Police  —  A  Drive  round  the  Berea  —  The  Cactus 
and  other  Trees  —  Religion  a  Vital  Matter  —  Peculiar  Views 
about  Babies  —  Zulu  Kings  —  A  Trappist  Monastery  — 
Transvaal  Politics  —  Reasons  why  the  Trouble  came  About   .     644 

CHAPTER   LXVI. 

Jameson  over  the  Border —  His  Defeat  and  Capture —  Sent  to  Eng- 
land for  Trial  —  Arrest  of  Citizens  by  the  Boers  —  Commuted 
Sentences  —  Final  Release  of  all  but  Two — Interesting  Days 
for  a  Stranger  —  Hard  to  Understand  Either  Side  —  What  the 
Reformers  Expected  to  Accomplish  —  How  They  Proposed  to 
Do  it  — Testimonies  a  Year  Later  —  A  "  Woman's  Part  " —  The 
Truth  of  the  South  African  Situation  —  "Jameson's  Ride"  — 

A  Poem 654 

2 


18  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER   LXVII. 

Jameson's  Raid  —  The  Reform  Committee's  Difficult  Task — Possi- 
ble Plans  —  Advice  that  Jameson  Ought  to  Have  —  The  War 
of  1881  and  its  Lessons  —  Statistics  of  Losses  of  the  Combat- 
ants —  Jameson's  Battles  —  Losses  on  Both  Sides  —  The  Military 
Errors —  How  the  Warfare  Should  Have  Been  Carried  on  to  Be 
Successful 0(57 

CHAPTER  LXVIII. 
Judicious  Mr.  Rhodes  —  What  South  Africa  Consists  of  —  Johan- 
nesburg—  The  Gold  Mines  —  The  Heaven  of  American  En- 
gineers—  What  the  Author  Knows  about  Mining — Description 
of  the  Boer —  What  Should  be  Expected  of  Him  —What  Was  — 
A  Dizzy  Jump  for  Rhodes  —  Taxes — Rhodesian  Method  of 
Reducing  Native  Population  —  Journeying  in  Cape  Colony  — 
The  Cars— The  Country  — The  Weather  — Tamed  Blacks  - 
Familiar  Figures  in  King  William's  Town — Boer  Dress  —  Boer 
Country  Life — Sleeping  Accommodations  —  The  Reformers  in 
Boer  Prison  —  Torturing  a  Black  Prisoner 686 

CHAPTER   LXIX. 

An  Absorbing  Novelty  —  The  Kimberley  Diamond  Mines  —Discovery 
of  Diamonds  —  The  Wronged  Stranger  —  Where  the  Gems  Are- 
A  Judicious  Change  of  Boundaiy  —  Modern  Machinery  and 
Appliances  —  Thrilling  Excitement  in  Finding  a  Diamond - 
Testing  a  Diamond  —  Fences  —  Deep  Mining  by  Natives  in  the 
Compound  —  Stealing  —  Pa-ward  for  the  Biggest  Diamond  —  A 
Fortune  in  Wine  —  The  Great  Diamond  —  Office  of  the  De  Beer 
Co. — Sorting  the  Gems  —  Capo  Town  —  The  Most  Imposing 
Man  in  British  Provinces  —  Various  Reasons  for  his  Supremacy 

—  How  He  Makes  Friends <i!)!J 

CONCLUSION. 

Table  Rock  —  Table  Bay  —  The  Castle  — Government  and  Parliament 

—  The    Club  —  Dutch    .Mansions   and    their    Hospitality  —  Dr. 
John  Barry  and  his  Doings  —  On  the  Ship  Norman  —  Madeira 

—  Arrived  in  Southhampton 710 


3 


BY 


Dan  Beard,   A.  B.  Frost,   B.  W.  Clinedinst,  Frederick  Dielman,  Peter  Newell, 
F.  M.  Seinor,  T.  J.  Fogarty,   C.  H.  Warren,   A.  G.  Reinhart, 
F.  Berkeley  Smith,    C.  Allan  Gilbert. 


The  publishers  acknowledge  the  courtesy  extended  by  Walter  G.  Chase,  Boston,  Mojo; 
Pond,  New  York,  and  F.  R.  Reynolds,  Manchester,  England,  in  furnishing  many  of  the 
graphs  reproduced  in  this  volume. 


1 

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Portrait  ok  Author  (By  Walter  G.  Chase). 

They  Passed  in  Review, 

Head  Piece,    . 

Even  the  Gulls  Smiled, 

"  When  I  was  a  Youth," 

The  Remittance  Man,  . 

An  Awkward  Pause,     . 

The  Climax,    .... 

"We  Worked  until  Three 

Facsimile  Page  from  the  Author's  Note-boo 

Royal  Equipments, 

Something  Touched  his  Shoulder 

Watching  for  the  Blue  Ribbon, 

The  Blue  Ribbon, 

"  Horse  Billiards," 

Diagram, 

I  Beat  Her  Brains  Out, 

A  Day  Off,      . 

Out  of  Repair, 

Southern  Cross,     . 

The  Kanaka's  Departure, 

The  Kanaka's  Return, 

A  Civilized  Savage, 

Siva 

Boats  Came  from  Shore, 
Natives 


Front i 


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(19) 


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ILLUSTRATIONS, 


27  In  Town, 

28  Out  ok  Town, 

29  The  Rigors  ok  Winter, 

30  Off  Goes  His  Head, 

31  Was  Never  in  the  Ark, 

32  The  Naturalist,    . 

33  View  in  Sydney  Harbor, 

34  A  Comparative  Mar,     . 

35  A  Dust  Storm, 

36  New  South  Wales  Corps, 

37  Heedless  Man, 

38  Squatter  Life, 

39  A  Difference, 

40  Hanuman  Moving  the  Mountains, 

41  Sydney's  Four  Entertainments, 

42  "Got  it  out  of  a  Shark,"'  . 

43  The  Oddest  Thing  in  Australasia, 

44  Things  Not  Seen,  . 

45  "Hello,  Mark,"    . 

46  Sunrise  Blue  Mountains, 

47  The  British  Empire,     . 

48  A  Test  Case,  . 

49  "Here  I  am  Yet," 

50  "Not  Wanted  Here," 

51  Laughing  Jackass, 

52  The  White  Man's  World, 

53  The  Old  Settlers, 

54  Adam  at  Practice, 

55  "  Which  Fox  ?"      . 

56  "We  Marched  by  the  Crowd,'" 

57  Royal  Letter, 

58  The  White  Man's  Appliances, 

59  The  Usual  Spirit, 

60  His  Place  in  Art, 

61  "No  Feeling  In  It," 

62  An  Aboriginal  Athlete, 

63  A  Wide  Space, 

64  The  Three  Sisters, 

65  Ballarat  Statuary, 

66  "Do  You  Remember  that  Trip 

67  All  Through  His  Influence, 

68  The  Club  Badge,  . 

69  The  Faculty  Read  Up, 

70  The  Scheme  Worked,    . 

71  "What  Do  You?" 

72  "Close  to  Aus — " 

73  He  Looked  Dazed, 


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ILLUSTRATIONS. 


21 


74  The  Governor's  Proclamation, 

75  The  Last  of  Her  Race, 

76  "Go  'way  from  Here!" 

77  Relics  of  Convict  Discipline, 

78  Lake  Manapouri,  . 

79  Monument  to  Maori  Robber, 

80  A  Theological  Student, 

81  Australian  Bells, 

82  Carved  Canoe  Prow,    . 

83  Cattle  Stalls  on  the  Flora, 

84  A  Change  of  Boats, 

85  Hot  Springs  and  Geysers,  . 

86  Protecting  the  Ladies, 

87  Maori  Women  with  Feather  Robes 

88  Xose  Rubbing,  Form  of  Salutation 

89  So  Like  the  Prince, 

90  woolloomoolloo,  . 

91  What  the  Sailors  Believe, 

92  Servant  Brompy,  . 

93  Abused  Creatures, 

94  Suppressed  Vanity, 

95  A  Road  Decoration, 

96  Fourteen  Followed,    . 

97  Oppressively  Sociable, 

98  Indian  Crow,  .... 

99  Manuel 

100  "Satan  see  God  Out," 

101  Kumar  Schri  Samatsinhji  Bahadi  r, 

102  One  of  the  Towers  of  Silence 

103  A  Parsee 

104  The  Passers  By.    . 

105  Midnight  in  a  Bombay  Street, 

106  A  High-Priced  Xautch  Girl, 
1U7  Nautch  Dancing,  . 

108  A  Railway  Station, 

109  A  Mad  Season. 

110  Roadside  Views,     . 

111  A  Prize  Winner,  . 

112  "Well,  Sor,  What  Will  you  Have 

113  "He  Had  it  Upside  Down," 

114  "You  Don't  say,  Sir!" 

115  He  Lighted  Me  up  the  Stairs, 

116  Smythe's  Revenge, 

117  He  Stole  Blankets, 

118  A  Street  Sprinkler.     . 

119  A  South  African  Style, 
180  "It  Worried  Me," 


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22 


ILLUSTRATIONS. 


121  A  Religious  Fair, 

122  Religious  Fakeers, 

123  They  Spoke  of  it  with  Rapture 

124  Do  it  Reverently, 

125  The  Well  of  Fate, 

126  Considering  the  Matter,     . 

127  Benares 

128  The  Purifying  Waters  of  the  Ganges, 

129  Extra  Expense, 

130  Monkey  Antics, 

131  Pace  prom  Bahadur's  Book, 

132  Title  Page  of  Bahadur's  Book, 

133  A  Picinic  in  a  Sepulchre,  . 

134  Mushy  Weather,  . 

135  India, 

136  Austria,  .... 
13?  France, 

138  A  Cab  Substitute, 

139  Mt.  Kinchinjunga, 

140  The  Prayer  Wheel, 

141  We  Played  with  the  Train, 

142  The  Loop,        .... 

143  Where  the  Women  and  Children  Loi 

144  The  Bailie  Guard  Gate, 
14.")  Mouldering  Memorials. 

146  Ruins  of  the  Residency, 

147  Tile  Residency  Gateway.     . 

148  An  Exaggerated  Niagara  and  the  Taj, 

149  An  Honest  Critic, 

150  City  Gate  — Jeypore.    . 

151  S  ah  ad  at  Khan, 

152  Street  Scene  in  Jeypore,    . 

153  "  I  was  Embarrassed," 

154  Types 

155  A  Female  Uncle.  . 

156  A  Cat  Would  Like  that  Place, 

157  "The  Mate's  Shadow  Froze  to  the  Deck.' 

158  "The  Barber  Flays  is  on  the  Breezy  Deck 

159  The  Wettest  Place  on  Earth, 

160  Ancient  News  at  Port  Louis, 

161  Only  One  in  Sixteen,  . 

162  'The  Third  Year  trey  do  not  Gather  She 

163  A  Stevedore, 

164  A  Cyclone,       .         . 

165  Stupidity  in  Europe,    . 
KiC>  Good  Fun  and  Wholesome. 
167  Indians  and  Chinamen, 


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ILLUSTRATIONS. 


23 


108  Like  On;  Southern  Negroes, 

1(5!)  Barnum's  Chance,  . 

170  Types 

171  A  Congressional  Expression, 

172  A  Fashion  in  Hair, 
17:5  The  Suppression  of  Human  Instinct 

174  Seven  Proud  Mothers, 

175  The  Political  Pot, 

176  Boer  Patrol,  .... 

177  Boer  State  Artillery, 

178  Boer  Assembling,  . 

179  Boers  Receiving  Arms, 

180  Pretoria  Jail  Outside, 

181  Prisoners  at  the  Race  Course, 

182  Boers  Coming  into  Pretoria, 

183  Captors  of  Jameson,     . 

184  Prisoners  at  Roll  Call, 

185  Tiring  the  Enemy, 

186  The  Document  in  Evidence, 

187  Old  Acquaintances, 

188  He  Said  "No"  Rudely, 

189  He  Felt  Stuffy,    . 

190  Searching  for  Gems,     . 

191  Compound  with  Netting, 

192  The  Big  Diamond, 

193  Native  Miners  Gambling 


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FOLLOWING    THE     EQUATOR 


CHAPTER   I. 


A  man  may  have  no  bad  habits  and  have  worse. 


—  Pudd'nhead  Wilson'' x  New  Calendar. 

THE  starting  point  of  this  lecturing-trip  around  the 
world  was  Paris,  where  we  had  been  living  a  year 
or  two. 
We  sailed  for  America,  and  there  made  certain  prepara- 
tions. This  took  but  little  time.  Two  members  of  my 
family  elected  to  go  with  me.  Also  a  carbuncle.  The  dic- 
tionary says  a  carbuncle  is  a  kind  of  jewel.  Humor  is  out 
of  place  in  a  dictionary. 

We  started  westward  from  New  York  in  midsummer, 
with  Major  Pond  to  manage  the  platform-business  as  far  as 
the  Pacific.  It  was  warm  work,  all  the  way,  and  the  last 
fortnight  of  it  was  suffocatingly  smoky,  for  in  Oregon  and 
British  Columbia   the  forest   tires  were  raging.     We  had  an 

©       o 

added  week  of  smoke  at  the  seaboard,  where  we  were  obliged 
to  wait  awhile  for  our  ship.  She  had  been  getting  herself 
ashore  in  the  smoke,  and  she  had  to  be  docked  and  repaired. 
We  sailed  at  last ;  and  so  ended  a  snail-paced  march  across  the 
continent,  which  had  lasted  forty  days. 

We  moved  westward  about  mid-afternoon  over  a  rippled  and 
sparkling  summer  sea  ;  an  enticing  sea,  a  clean  and  cool  sea,  and 
apparently  a  welcome  sea  to  all  on  board;  it  certainly  was  to 
me,  after  the  distressful  dustings  and  smokings  and  swelterings 

(25) 


26 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


of  the  past  weeks.     The  voyage  would  furnish  a  three-weeks 
holiday,  with  hardly  a  break  in  it.     We  had  the  whole  Pacific 
Ocean  in  front  of  us,  with  nothing  to  do  but  do  nothing  and 
be  comfortable.     The 
city    of  Victoria  was 
twinkling  dim  in  the 
deep  heart 


i:\  EN   THE   GULLS   SMILED. 


getting  ready  to 
vanish:  and  now 
Ave  closed  the  field- 
glasses  and  s;it 
down  on  our 
steamer  chairs  contented  and  at  peace.  But  thev  went  to 
wreck  and  ruin  under  us  and  brought  us  to  shame  before  all 
the  passengers.  They  had  been  furnished  by  the  largest  fur- 
niture-dealing house  in  Victoria,  and  were  worth  a  couple  of 
farthings  a  dozen,  though  they  had  cost  us  the  price  of  honest 
chairs.  In  the  Pacific  and  Indian  Oceans  one  must  still  brine 
his  own  deck-chair  on  board  or  go  without,  just  as  in  the  old 
forgotten  Atlantic  times-    those  Dark  Ages  of  sea  travel. 

Ours  was  a  reasonably  comfortable  ship,  with  the  custom- 
ary sea-going  fare  -plenty  of  good  food  furnished  by  the 
Deity  and  cooked  by  the  devil.  The  discipline  observable  on 
board  was  perhaps  as  good  as  it  is  anywhere  in  the  Pacific  and 
Indian  Oceans.     The  ship  was  not  very  well  arranged  for  tropi- 


Si 


OUR   CAPTAIN.  27 

cal  service;  but  that  is  nothing,  for  this  is  the  rule  for  ships 
which  ply  in  the  tropics.  She  had  an  over-supply  of  cock- 
roaches, but  this  is  also  the  rule  with  ships  doing  business 
in  the  summer  seas —  at  least  such  as  have  been  long  in  service. 
( >ur  young  captain  was  a  very  handsome  man,  tall  and  per- 
fectly formed,  the  very  figure  to  show  up  a  smart  uniform's 
finest  effects,  lie  was  a  man  of  the  best  intentions,  and  was 
polite  and  courteous  even  to  courtliness.  There  was  a  soft 
grace  and  finish  about  his  manners  which  made  whatever  place 
he  happened  to  be  in  seem  for  the  moment  a  drawing-room. 
He  avoided  the  smoking-room.  He  had  no  vices.  He  did  not 
smoke  or  chew  tobacco  or  take  snuff ;  he  did  not  swear,  or  use 
slang,  or  rude,  or  coarse,  or  indelicate  language,  or  make  puns, 
or  tell  anecdotes,  or  laugh  intemperately,  or  raise  his  voice 
above  the  moderate  pitch  enjoined  by  the  canons  of  good  form. 
When  he  gave  an  order,  his  manner  modified  it  into  a  request. 
After  dinner  he  and  his  officers  joined  the  ladies  and  gentle- 
men in  the  ladies'  saloon,  and  shared  in  the  singing  and  piano 
playing,  and  helped  turn  the  music.  He  had  a  sweet  and 
sympathetic  tenor  voice,  and  used  it  with  taste  and  effect. 
After  the  music  he  played  whist  there,  always  with  the  same 
partner  and  opponents,  until  the  ladies'  bedtime.  The  electric 
lights  burned  there  as  late  as  the  ladies  and  their  friends  might 
desire,  but  they  were  not  allowed  to  burn  in  the  smoking-room 
after  eleven.  There  were  many  laws  on  the  ship's  statute 
book,  of  course;  but  so  far  as  I  could  see,  this  and  one  other 
were  the  only  ones  that  were  rigidly  enforced.  The  captain 
explained  that  he  enforced  this  one  because  his  own  cabin 
adjoined  the  smoking-room,  and  the  smell  of  tobacco  smoke 
made  him  sick.  I  did  not  see  how  our  smoke  could  reach  him, 
for  the  smoking-room  and  his  cabin  were  on  the  upper  deck, 
targets  for  all  the  winds  that  blew;  and  besides  there  was  no 
crack  of  communication  between  them,  no  opening  of  any  sort 


28  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

in  the  solid  intervening  bulkhead.  Still,  to  a  delicate  stomach 
even  imaginary  smoke  can  convey  damage. 

The  captain,  with  his  gentle  nature,  his  polish,  his  sweet- 
ness, his  moral  and  verbal  purity,  seemed  pathetically  out  of 
place  in  his  rude  and  autocratic  vocation.  It  seemed  another 
instance  of  the  irony  of  fate. 

He  was  going  home  under  a  cloud.  The  passengers  knew 
about  his  trouble,  and  were  sorry  for  him.  Approaching 
Vancouver  through  a  narrow  and  difficult  passage  densely 
befogged  with  smoke  from  the  forest  fires,  he  had  had  the  ill- 
luck  to  lose  his  bearings  and  get  his  ship  on  the  rocks.  A 
matter  like  this  would  rank  merely  as  an  error  with  you  and 
me ;  it  ranks  as  a  crime  with  the  directors  of  steamship  com- 
panies. The  captain  had  been  tried  by  the  Admiralty  Court 
at  Vancouver,  and  its  verdict  had  acquitted  him  of  blame. 
But  that  was  insufficient  comfort.  A  sterner  court  would  ex- 
amine the  case  in  Sydney --the  Court  of  Directors,  the  lords 
of  a  company  in  whose  ships  the  captain  had  served  as  mate 
a  number  of  years.     This  was  his  first  voyage  as  captain. 

The  officers  of  our  ship  were  hearty  and  companionable 
young  men,  and  they  entered  into  the  general  amusements  and 
helped  the  passengers  pass  the  time.  Voyages  in  the  Pacific 
and  Indian  Oceans  are  but  pleasure  excursions  for  all  hands. 
Our  purser  was  a  young  Scotchman  who  was  equipped  with  a 
grit  that  was  remarkable.  He  was  an  invalid,  and  looked  it, 
as  far  as  his  body  was  concerned,  but  illness  could  not  subdue 
his  spirit.  He  was  full  of  life,  and  had  a  gay  and  capable 
tongue.  To  all  appearances  he  was  a  sick  man  without  being- 
aware  of  it,  for  he  did  not  talk  about  his  ailments,  and  his 
bearing  and  conduct  were  those  of  a  person  in  robust  health  ; 
yet  he  was  the  prey,  at  intervals,  of  ghastly  sieges  of  pain  in 
his  heart.  These  lasted  many  hours,  and  while  the  attack  con- 
tinued he  could  neither  sit  nor  lie.     In  one  instance  he  stood 


CONQUERING  AN  ENEMY.  29 

on  his  feet  twenty-four  hours  lighting  for  his  life  with  these 
sharp  agonies,  and  yet  was  as  full  of  life  and  cheer  and  activity 
the  next  day  as  if  nothing  had  happened. 

The  brightest  passenger  in  the  ship,  and  the  most  interest- 
ing and  felicitous  talker,  was  a  young  Canadian  who  was  not 
able  to  let  the  whisky  bottle  alone.  He  was  of  a  rich  and 
powerful  family,  and  could  have  had  a  distinguished  career 
and  abundance  of  effective  help  toward  it  if  he  could  have 
conquered  his  appetite  for  drink ;  but  he  could  not  do  it,  so  his 
great  equipment  of  talent  was  of  no  use  to  him.  He  had  often 
taken  the  pledge  to  drink  no  more,  and  was  a  good  sample  of 
what  that  sort  of  unwisdom  can  do  for  a  man  —  for  a  man 
with  anything  short  of  an  iron  will.  The  svstem  is  wrong  in 
two  ways :  it  does  not  strike  at  the  root  of  the  trouble,  for  one 
thing,  and  to  make  a  pledge  of  any  kind  is  to  declare  war 
against  nature;  for  a  pledge  is  a  chain  that  is  always  clanking 
and  reminding  the  wearer  of  it  that  he  is  not  a  free  man. 

I  have  said  that  the  system  does  not  strike  at  the  root  of 
the  trouble,  and  I  venture  to  repeat  that.  The  root  is  not  the 
<1  rinking,  but  the  desire  to  drink.  These  are  verv  different 
things.  The  one  merely  requires  will  —  and  a  great  deal  of  it, 
both  as  to  bulk  and  staying  capacity --the  other  merely  re- 
quires watchfulness  —  and  for  no  long  time.  The  desire  of 
course  precedes  the  act,  and  should  have  one's  first  attention  ; 
it  can  do  but  little  good  to  refuse  the  act  over  and  over  aoain, 
always  leaving  the  desire  unmolested,  unconquered;  the  desire 
will  continue  to  assert  itself,  and  will  be  almost  sure  to  win  in 
the  long  run.  When  the  desire  intrudes,  it  should  be  at  once 
banished  out  of  the  mind.  One  should  be  on  the  watch  for  it 
all  the  time  —  otherwise  it  will  get  in.  It  must  be  taken  in 
time  and  not  allowed  to  get  a  lodgment.  A  desire  constantly 
repulsed  for  a  fortnight  should  die,  then.  That  should  cure 
the  drinking  habit.     The  system  of  refusing  the  mere  act  of 


30  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

drinking,  and  leaving  the  desire  in  full  force,  is  unintelligent 
war  tactics,  it  seems  to  me. 

I  used  to  take  pledges  —  and  soon  violate  them.  My  will 
was  not  strong,  and  I  could  not  help  it.  And  then,  to  be  tied 
in  any  way  naturally  irks  an  otherwise  free  person  and  makes 
him  chafe  in  his  bonds  and  want  to  get  his  liberty.  But  when 
I  finally  ceased  from  taking  definite  pledges,  and  merely  re- 
solved that  I  would  kill  an  injurious  desire,  but  leave  myself 
free  to  resume  the  desire  and  the  habit  whenever  I  should 
choose  to  do  so,  I  had  no  more  trouble.  In  five  days  I  drove 
out  the  desire  to  smoke  and  was  not  obliged  to  keep  watch 
after  that ;  and  I  never  experienced  any  strong  desire  to  smoke 
again.  At  the  end  of  a  year  and  a  quarter  of  idleness  I  began 
to  write  a  book,  and  presently  found  that  the  pen  was  strangely 
reluctant  to  go.  I  tried  a  smoke  to  see  if  that  would  help  me 
out  of  the  difficulty.  It  did.  I  smoked  eight  or  ten  cigars 
and  as  many  pipes  a  day  for  five  months ;  finished  the  book, 
and  did  not  smoke  again  until  a  year  had  gone  by  and  another 
book  had  to  be  begun. 

I  can  quit  any  of  my  nineteen  injurious  habits  at  any  time, 
and  without  discomfort  or  inconvenience.  I  think  that  the 
Dr.  Tanners  and  those  others  who  go  forty  days  without 
eating  do  it  by  resolutely  keeping  out  the  desire  to  eat,  in  the 
beginning ;  and  that  after  a  few  hours  the  desire  is  dis- 
couraged and  comes  no  more. 

Once  I  tried  my  scheme  in  a  large  medical  way.  I  had 
been  confined  to  my  bed  several  days  with  lumbago.  My  case 
refused  to  improve.     Finally  the  doctor  said. — 

"My  remedies  have  no  fair  chance.  Consider  what  they 
have  to  fight,  besides  the  lumbago.  You  smoke  extravagantly, 
don't  you  I " 

"  Yes." 

"  You  take  coffee  immoderatelv  \  " 


NOTHING   TO   FALL  BACK   ON.  31 


«  Yc,  ' 


3S. 

"And  some  tea  I  " 

"  Yes." 

"You   eat   all   kinds   of   things  that  arc  dissatisfied   with 

each  other's  company  \  " 

"  Yes."' 

••You  drink  two  hot  Scotches  every  nights*' 

"  Yes.'' 

••  Very  well,  there  you  see  what  I  have  to  contend 
against,  AYe  cant  make  progress  the  way  the  matter 
stands.  Y^ou  must  make  a  reduction  in  these  things;  you 
must  cut  down  your  consumption  of  them  considerably  for 
some  days." 

"  I  can't,  doctor/' 

'•  Why  can't  you." 

'•I  lack  the  will-power.  I  can  cut  them  off  entirely,  but  I 
can't  merely  moderate  them." 

He  said  that  that  would  answer,  and  said  he  would  come 
around  in  twenty-four  hours  and  begin  work  again.  He  was 
taken  ill  himself  and  could  not  come;  but  I  did  not  need 
him.  I  cut  off  all  those  things  for  two  days  and  nights ;  in 
fact,  I  cut  off  all  kinds  of  food,  too,  and  all  drinks  except 
water,  and  at  the  end  of  the  forty-eight  hours  the  lumbago 
was  discouraged  and  left  me.  I  was  a  well  man ;  so  I  gave 
thanks  and  took  to  those  delicacies  again. 

It  seemed  a  valuable  medical  course,  and  I  recommended 
it  to  a  lady.  She  had  run  down  and  down  and  down,  and 
had  at  last  reached  a  point  where  medicines  no  longer  had 
any  helpful  effect  upon  her.  I  said  I  knew  I  could  put  her 
upon  her  feet  in  a  week.  It  brightened  her  up,  it  rilled  her 
with  hope,  and  she  said  she  would  do  everything  I  told  her 
to  do.  So  I  said  she  must  stop  swearing  and  drinking,  and 
smoking  and  eating  for  four  days,  and  then  she  would  be  all 


32 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


right  again.  And  it  would  have  happened  just  so,  I  know 
it ;  but  she  said  she  could  not  stop  swearing,  and  smok- 
ing, and  drinking,  because  she  had  never  done  those 
things.  So  there  it  was.  She  had  neglected  her  habits,  and 
hadn't  any.  Now  that  they  would  have  come  good,  there 
were  none  in  stock.  She  had  nothing  to  fall  back  on.  She 
was  a  sinking  vessel,  with   no  freight  in  her  to  throw  over- 


I 

board 

lighten 

withal.  Why, 
even  one  or 
two  little  bad 
habits  c  o  u  1  d 
have  saved 
her,  but  she 
was  just  a 
moral  pauper. 
W  hen  she 
could  have  ac- 
quired them 
she  was  dis- 
suaded by  her  parents,  who  were  ignorant  people  though 
reared  in  the  best  society,  and  it  was  too  late  to  begin  now. 
It  seemed  such  a  pity;  but  there  was  no  help  for  it.  These 
things  ought  to  be  attended  to  while  a  person  is  young ; 
otherwise,  when  age  and  disease  come,  there  is  nothing  effect- 
ual to  fight  them  with. 


WJIKN    I    WAS    A    YOUTH. 


REMITTANCE   MEN.  33 

When  I  was  a  youth  I  used  to  take  all  kinds  of  pledges, 
and  do  my  best  to  keep  them,  bul  I  never  could,  because 
I  didn't  strike  at  the  root  of  the  habit— the  desire;  I  generally 
broke  down  within  the  month.  Once  I  tried  limiting  a  habit. 
That  worked  tolerably  well  for  a  while.  I  pledged  myself  to 
smoke  but  one  cigar  ;i  day.  I  kept  the  cigar  waiting  until 
bedtime,  then  I  had  a  luxurious  time  with  it.  But  desire  per- 
secuted me  every  day  and  all  day  long;  so,  within  the  week  I 
found  myself  hunting  tor  larger  cigars  than  I  had  been  used 
to  smoke  ;  then  larger  ones  still,  and  still  larger  ones.  Within 
the  fortnight  I  was  getting  cigars  made  for  me  — on  a  yet 
larger  pattern.  They  still  grew  and  grew  in  size.  Within 
the  month  my  cigar  had  grown  to  such  proportions  that  I 
could  have  used  it  as  a  crutch.  It  now  seemed  to  me  that  a 
one-cigar  limit  was  no  real  protection  to  a  person,  so  I  knocked 
mv  pledge  on  the  head  and  resumed  my  liberty. 

To  sro  back  to  that  young  Canadian.  He  was  a  "remit- 
tance  man."  the  first  one  I  had  ever  seen  or  heard  of.  Passen- 
gers explained  the  term  to  me.  They  said  that  dissipated  ne'er- 
do-weels  belonging  to  imp<  >rtant  families  in  England  and  Canada 
were  not  cast  off  by  their  people  while  there  was  any  hope  of 
reforming  them,  but  when  that  last  hope  perished  at  last,  the 
ne'er-do-weel  was  sent  abroad  to  get  him  out  of  the  way.  He 
was  shipped  off  with  just  enough  money  in  his  pocket  --no,  in 
the  purser's  pocket —  for  the  needs  of  the  voyage  —  and  when 
he  reached  his  destined  port  he  would  find  a  remittance  await- 
ing him  there.  Not  a  large  one,  but  just  enough  to  keep  him 
a  month.  A  similar  remittance  would  come  monthly  there- 
after. It  was  the  remittance-man's  custom  to  pay  his  month's 
board  and  lodging  straightway  —  a  duty  which  his  landlord 
did  not  allow  him  to  forget — then  spree  away  the  rest  of  his 
money  in  a  single  night,  then  brood  and  mope  and  grieve  in 
idleness  till  the  next  remittance  came.     It  is  a  pathetic  life. 


34 


FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 


We  had  other  remittance-men  on  board,  it  was  said.  At 
least  they  said  they  were  11.  M.'s.  There  were  two.  But  they 
did  not  resemble  the  Canadian  ;  they  lacked  his  tidiness,  and 
his  brains,  and  his  gentlemanly  ways,  and  his  resolute  spirit, 
and  his  humanities  and  generosities.  One  of  them  was  a  lad 
of  nineteen  or  twenty,  and  he  was  a  good  deal  of  a  ruin,  as  to 
clothes,  and  morals,  and  general  aspect.  lie  said  he  was  a 
scion  of  a  ducal  house  in  England,  and  had  been  shipped  to 
Canada  for  the  house's  relief,  that  he  had  fallen  into  trouble 
there,  and  was  now  being  shipped  to  Australia.  He  said  he 
had  no  title.  Beyond  this  remark  he  was  economical  of  the 
truth.  The  first  thing  he  did  in  Australia  was  to  get  into  the 
lockup,  and  the  next  thing  he  did  was  to  proclaim  himself  an 
earl  in  the  police  court  in  the  morning  and  fail  to  prove  it. 


CHAPTEK  II. 

When  in  doubt,  tell  the  truth.  —  Pudd'n/tead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

ABOUT  tour  (lavs  out  from  Victoria,  we  plunged  into  hot 
weather,  and  all  the  male  passengers  put  on  white 
linen  clothes.  One  or  two  days  later  we  crossed  the 
25th  parallel  of  north  latitude,  and  then,  by  order,  the  officers 
of  the  ship  laid  away  their  blue  uniforms  and  came  out  in 
white  linen  ones.  All  the  ladies  were  in  white  by  this  time. 
This  prevalence  of  snowy  costumes  gave  the  promenade  deck 
an  invitingly  cool  and  cheerful  and  picnicky  aspect. 

From  my  diary : 

There  are  several  sorts  of  ills  in  the  world  from  which  a 
person  can  never  escape  altogether,  let  him  journey  as  far  as 
he  will.  One  escapes  from  one  breed  of  an  ill  only  to  en- 
counter another  breed  of  it.  We  have  come  far  from  the 
snake  liar  and  the  lish  liar,  and  there  was  rest  and  peace  in  the 
thought ;  but  now  we  have  reached  the  realm  of  the  boome- 
rang liar,  and  sorrow  is  with  us  once  more.  The  first  officer 
has  seen  a  man  try  to  escape  from  his  enemy  by  getting  behind 
a  tree ;  but  the  enemy  sent  his  boomerang  sailing  into  the  sky 
far  above  and  beyond  the  tree ;  then  it  turned,  descended,  and 
killed  the  man.  The  Australian  passenger  has  seen  this  thing 
done  to  two  men,  behind  two  trees  —  and  by  the  one  arrow. 
This  being  received  with  a  large  silence  that  suggested  doubt, 
he  buttressed  it  with  the  statement  that  his  brother  once  saw 
the  boomerang  kill  a  bird  away  off  a  hundred  yards  and  bring 
it  to  the  thrower.  But  these  are  ills  which  must  bo  borne. 
There  is  no  other  way. 

(35) 


36  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

The  talk  passed  from  the  boomerang  to  dreams — usually 
a  fruitful  subject,  aHoat  or  ashore — but  this  time  the  output 
was  poor.  Then  it  passed  to  instances  of  extraordinary 
memory--  with  better  results.  Blind  Tom,  the  negro  pianist, 
was  spoken  of,  and  it  was  said  that  he  could  accurately  play 
any  piece  of  music,  howsoever  long  and  difficult,  after  hearing- 
it  once ;  and  that  six  months  later  he  could  accurately  play  it 
again,  without  having  touched  it  in  the  interval.  One  of  the 
most  striking  of  the  stories  told  was  furnished  by  a  gentleman 
who  had  served  on  the  staff  of  the  Viceroy  of  India.  He 
read  the  details  from  his  note-book,  and  explained  that  he  had 
written  them  down,  right  after  the  consummation  of  the  inci- 
dent which  they  described,  because  he  thought  that  if  he  did 
not  put  them  down  in  black  and  white  he  might  presently 
come  to  think  he  had  dreamed  them  or  invented  them. 

The  Viceroy  was  making  a  progress,  and  among  the  shows 
offered  by  the  Maharajah  of  Mysore  for  his  entertainment  was 
a  memorv-exhibition.  The  Vicerov  and  thirty  gentlemen  of 
his  suite  sat  in  a  row,  and  the  memory-expert,  a  high-caste 
Brahmin,  was  brought  in  and  seated  on  the  floor  in  front  of 
them.  He  said  he  knew  but  two  languages,  the  English  and 
his  own,  but  would  not  exclude  any  foreign  tongue  from  the 
tests  to  be  applied  to  his  memory.  Then  he  laid  before  the 
assemblage  his  program  —  a  sufficiently  extraordinary  one. 
He  proposed  that  one  gentleman  should  give  him  one  word  of 
a  foreign  sentence,  and  tell  him  its  place  in  the  sentence.  He 
was  furnished  with  the  French  word  est,  and  was  told  it  w;is 
second  in  a  sentence  of  three  words.  The  next  gentleman 
gave  him  the  German  word  verloren  and  said  it  was  the  third 
in  a  sentence  of  four  words.  He  asked  the  next  gentleman 
for  one  detail  in  a  sum  in  addition ;  another  for  one  detail  in  a 
sum  of  subtraction  ;  others  for  single  details  in  mathematical 
problems  of  various  kinds  ;  he  got  them.     Intermediates  gave 


A  TEST  OF  MEMORY.  37 

him  single  words  from  sentences  in  Greek,  Latin,  Spanish, 
Portuguese,  Italian,  and  other  languages,  and  told  him  their 
places  in  the  sentences.  When  at  last  everybody  had  furnished 
him  a  single  rag  from  a  foreign  sentence  or  a  figure 
from  a  problem,  he  went  over  the  ground  again,  and  got  a 
second  word  and  a  second  figure  and  was  told  their  places  in 
the  sentences  and  the  sums;  and  so  on  and  so  on.  He  went 
over  the  ground  again  and  again  until  he  had  collected  all  the 
parts  of  the  sums  and  all  the  parts  of  the  sentences  —  and  all 
in  disorder,  of  course,  not  in  their  proper  rotation.  This  had 
occupied  two  hours. 

The  Brahmin  now  sat  silent  and  thinking,  a  while,  then 
began  and  repeated  all  the  sentences,  placing  the  words  in 
their  proper  order,  and  untangled  the  disordered  arithmetical 
problems  and  gave  accurate  answers  to  them  all. 

In  the  beginning  he  had  asked  the  company  to  throw 
almonds  at  him  during  the  two  hours,  he  to  remember  how 
many  each  gentleman  had  thrown  ;  but  none  were  thrown,  for 
the  Viceroy  said  that  the  test  would  be  a  sufficiently  severe 
strain  without  adding  that  burden  to  it. 

General  Grant  had  a  fine  memory  for  all  kinds  of  things, 
including  even  names  and  faces,  and  I  could  have  furnished 
an  instance  of  it  if  I  had  thought  of  it.  The  first  time  I 
ever  saw  him  was  earlv  in  his  first  term  as  President.  I  had 
just  arrived  in  Washington  from  the  Pacific  coast,  a  stranger 
and  wholly  unknown  to  the  public,  and  was  passing  the  White 
House  one  morning  when  I  met  a  friend,  a  Senator  from 
Nevada.  He  asked  me  if  I  would  like  to  see  the  President. 
I  said  I  should  be  very  glad  ;  so  we  entered.  I  supposed  that  the 
President  would  be  in  the  midst  of  a  crowd,  and  that  I  could 
look  at  him  in  peace  and  security  from  a  distance,  as  another 
stray  cat  might  look  at  another  king-.  But  it  was  in  the 
morning,  and  the  Senator  was  using  a  privilege  of  his  office 


:;s  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

which  I  had  not  heard  of  —  the  privilege  of  intruding  upon 
the  Chief  Magistrate's  working  hours.  Before  I  knew  it,  the 
Senator  and  I  were  in  the  presence,  and  there  was  none  there 
but  we  three.  General  Grant  got  slowly  up  from  his  table, 
put  his  pen  down,  and  stood  before  me  with  the  iron  expression 
of  a  man  who  had  not  smiled  for  seven  years,  and  was  not 
intending  to  smile  for  another  seven.  He  looked  me  steadilv 
in  the  eyes  —  mine  lost  confidence  and  fell.  I  had  never  con- 
fronted a  great  man  before,  and  was  in  a  miserable  state  of 
funk  and  inefficiency.    The  Senator  said:  — 

"  Mr.  President,  may  I  have  the  privilege  of  introducing 
Mr.  Clemens  ( " 

The  President  gave  my  hand  an  unsympathetic  wag  and 
dropped  it.  He  did  not  say  a  word  but  just  stood.  In  my 
trouble  I  could  not  think  of  anything  to  sav,  I  merelv  wanted 
to  resign.  There  was  an  awkward  pause,  a  dreary  pause,  a 
horrible  pause.  Then  I  thought  of  something,  and  looked  up 
into  that  unvielding  face,  and  said  timidly  : 

"Mr.  President,  I  —  I  am  embarrassed.     Are  vou?" 

His  face  broke --just  a  little  —  a  wee  glimmer,  the 
momentary  flicker  of  a  summer-lightning  smile,  seven  years 
ahead  of  time  —  and  I  was  out  and  gone  as  soon  as  it  was. 

Ten  years  passed  away  before  I  saw  him  the  second  time. 
Meantime  I  was  become  better  known;  and  was  one  of  the 
people  appointed  to  respond  to  toasts  at  the  banquet  given 
to  General  Grant  in  Chicago  by  the  Army  of  the  Tennessee 
when  he  came  back  from  his  tour  around  the  world.  I  arrived 
late  at  night  and  got  up  late  in  the  morning.  All  the  corri- 
dors of  the  hotel  were  crowded  with  people  waiting  to  get 
a  glimpse  of  General  Grant  when  he  should  pass  to  the  place 
whence  he  was  to  review  the  great  procession.  I  worked  my 
way  by  the  suite  of  packed  drawing-rooms,  and  at  the  corner 
of  the  house  I  found  a  window  open  where  there  was  a  roomy 


AS   AWKWARD   PAUSE. 


GEN.    GRANT'S   FINE   MEMORY.  41 

platform  decorated  with  flags,  and  carpeted.  I  stepped  out  on 
it,  and  saw  below  me  millions  of  people  blocking  all  the  streets, 
and  other  millions  caked  together  in  all  the  windows  and  on 
all  the  house-tops  around.  These  masses  took  me  for  General 
Grant,  and  broke  into  volcanic  explosions  and  cheers;  but 
it  was  a  good  place  to  see  the  procession,  and  I  staved. 
Presently  1  heard  the  distant  blare  of  military  music,  and  far 
up  the  street  I  saw  the  procession  come  in  sight,  cleaving  its 
wav  through  the  huzzaing  multitudes,  with  Sheridan,  the  most 
martial  figure  of  the  War,  riding  at  its  head  in  the  dress 
uniform  of  a  Lieutenant-General . 

And  now  General  Grant,  arm-in-arm  with  Major  Carter 
Harrison,  stepped  out  on  the  platform,  followed  two  and  two 
by  the  badged  and  uniformed  reception  committee.  General 
Grant  was  looking  exactly  as  he  had  looked  upon  that  trying- 
occasion  of  ten  years  before  —  all  iron  and  bronze  self-posses- 
sion. Mr.  Harrison  came  over  and  led  me  to  the  General  and 
formally  introduced  me.  Before  I  could  put  together  the 
proper  remark,  General  Grant  said  — 

"Mr.  Clemens,  I  am  not  embarrassed.  Are  your'  -and 
that  little  seven-year  smile  twinkled  across  his  face  again. 

Seventeen  years  have  gone  by  since  then,  and  to-dav,  in 
New  York,  the  streets  are  a  crush  of  people  who  are  there  to 
honor  the  remains  of  the  great  soldier  as  they  pass  to  their 
final  resting-place  under  the  monument ;  and  the  air  is  heavy 
with  dirges  and  the  boom  of  artillery,  and  all  the  millions  of 
America  are  thinking  of  the  man  who  restored  the  Union  and 
the  Hag,  and  gave  to  democratic  government  a  new  lease  of 
life,  and,  as  we  may  hope  and  do  believe,  a  permanent  place 
among  the  beneficent  institutions  of  men. 

We  had  one  game  in  the  ship  which  was  a  good  time- 
passer—  at  least  it  was  at  night  in  the  smoking-room  when 
the  men  were  getting  freshened  up  from  the  day's  monotonies 


4l>  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  dullnesses.  It  was  the  completing  of  non-complete  stories. 
That  is  to  say,  a  man  would  tell  all  of  a  story  except  the 
finish,  then  the  others  would  try  to  supply  the  ending  out 
of  their  own  invention.  When  every  one  who  wanted  a 
chance  had  had  it,  the  man  who  had  introduced  the  story 
would  give  it  its  original  ending- --then  vou  could  take  your 
choice.  Sometimes  the  new  endings  turned  out  to  be  better 
than  the  old  one.  But  the  story  which  called  out  the  most 
persistent  and  determined  and  ambitious  effort  was  one  which 
had  no  ending,  and  so  there  was  nothing  to  compare  the  new- 
made  endings  with.  The  man  who  told  it  said  he  could 
furnish  the  particulars  up  to  a  certain  point  only,  because  that 
was  as  much  of  the  tale  as  he  knew.  He  had  read  it  in  a 
volume  of  sketches  twenty-live  years  ago,  and  was  interrupted 
before  the  end  was  reached,  lie  would  give  any  one  fifty 
dollars  who  would  finish  the  story  to  the  satisfaction  of  a  iury 
to  be  appointed  by  ourselves.  We  appointed  a  jury  and 
wrestled  with  the  tale.  We  invented  plenty  of  endings,  but 
the  jury  voted  them  all  down.  The  jury  was  right.  It  was  a 
tale  winch  the  author  of  it  may  possibly  have  completed  satis- 
factorily, and  if  he  really  had  that  good  fortune  I  would  like 
to  know  what  the  ending  was.  Any  ordinary  man  will  find 
that  the  story's  strength  is  in  its  middle,  and  that  there  is 
apparently  no  way  to  transfer  it  to  the  close,  where  of  course 
it  ought  to  be.     In  substance  the  storiette  was  as  follows: 

John  Brown,  aged  thirty-one,  good,  gentle,  bashful,  timid,  lived  in  a  quiet 
viliage  in  Missouri.  He  was  superintendent  of  the  Presbyterian  Sunday- 
school.  It  was  but  a  humble  distinction  ;  still,  it  was  his  only  official  one, 
and  he  was  modestly  proud  of  it  and  was  devoted  to  its  work  and  its  interests. 
The  extreme  kindliness  of  his  nature  was  recognized  by  all  ;  in  fact,  people 
said  that  he  was  made  entirely  out  of  good  impulses  and  bashfulness  ;  that  he 
could  always  be  counted  upon  for  help  when  it  was  needed,  and  for  bashfui- 
ness  both  when  it  wTas  needed  and  when  it  wasn't. 

Mary  Taylor,  twenty-three,  modest,  sweet,  winning,  and  in  character  and 
person  beautiful,  was  all  in  all  to  him.  And  he  was  very  nearly  all  in  all  to 
her.     She   was   wavering,   his  hopes  were  high.     Her  mother  had    been    in 


A  DELICATELY    IMPROPER   TALE. 


4:; 


opposition  from  the  Qrst.  But  she  was  wavering,  too  ;  be  could  see  it.  She 
was  being  touched  by  his  warm  interest  in  ber  two  charity-proteges  and  by 

his  contributions  toward  their  support.  These  were  two  forlorn  and  aged 
sisters  who  lived  in  a  log  hut  in  a  lonely  place  up  a  cross  road  four  miles  from 
Mrs  Taylor's  farm.  One  of  the  sisters  was  crazy,  and  sometimes  a  little 
violent,  but  not  often. 

At  last  the  time  seemed  ripe  for  a  final  advance,  and  Brown  gathered  his 
courage  together  and  resolved  to  make  it.  He  would  take  along  a  contribu- 
tion of  double  the  usual  size,  and  win  the  mother  over;  with  her  opposition 
annulled,  the  rest  of  the  conquest  would  be  sure  and  prompt. 

He  took  to  the  road  in  the  middle  of  a  placid  Sunday  afternoon  in  the  soft 
Missourian  summer,  and  he  was  equipped  properly  for  his  mission.  He  was 
clothed  all  in  white  linen,  with  a  blue  ribbon  for  a  necktie,  and  he  had  on 
dressy  tight  boots.  His  horse  and  buggy  were  the  finest  that  the  livery  stable 
could  furnish.  The  lap  robe  was  of  white  linen,  it  was  new,  and  it  had  a 
handworked  border  that  could  not  be  rivaled  in  that  region  for  beauty  and 
elaboration. 

When  he  was  four  miles  out  on  the  lonely  road  and  was  walking  his  horse 
over  a  wooden  bridge,  his  straw  hat  blew  off  and  fell  in  the  creek,  and  floated 
down  and  lodged  against  a  bar.  He  did  not  quite  know  what  to  do.  He 
must  have  the  hat,  that  was  manifest  ;  but  how  was  he  to  get  it  ? 

Then  he  had  an  idea.     The  roads  were  empty,  nobody  was  stirring.     Yes. 
he  would  risk  it.     He  led  the  horse  to  the  roadside  and  set  it  to  cropping  the 
grass  ;  then  he  undressed  and  put  his  clothes  in  the  buggy,  petted  the  horse 
a  moment  to  secure  its  compassion  and 
its  loyalty,  then  hurried  to  the  stream. 
He  swam  out  and  soon   had   the  hat. 
When  he  got  to  the  top  of  the  bank  the 
horse  was  gone  ! 

His  legs  almost  gave  wa)r  under  him. 
The  horse  was  walking  leisurely  along 
the  road.  Brown  trotted  after  it,  say- 
ing, 'Whoa,  whoa,  there's  a  good  fel- 
low ;  "  but  whenever  begot  near  enough 
tochancea  jump  forthe buggy,  the  horse 
quickened  its  pace  a  little  and  defeated 
him.  And  so  this  went  on,  the  naked 
man  perishing  with  anxiety,  and  expect- 
ing every  moment  to  see  people  come  in 
sight.  He  tagged  on  and  on,  imploring 
the  horse,  beseeching  the  horse,  till  he 
had  left  a  mile  behind  him,  and  was  clos- 
ing up  on  the  Taylor  premises  ;  then  at 
last  he  was  successful,  and  got  into  the 

buggy.    He  flung  on  his  shirt,  Ins  neck-  ' IIK  CLIMAX- 

tie,  and  Ins  coat  ;  then  reached  for— but  he  was  too  late  ;  he  sat  suddenly 
down  and  pulled  up  the  lap-robe,  for  he  saw  some  one   coming  out  of  the 


44  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

gate  —  a  woman,  lie  thought.  He  wheeled  the  horse  to  the  left,  and  struck 
briskly  up  the  cross-road.  It  was  perfectly  straight,  and  exposed  on  both 
sides  ;  but  there  were  woods  and  a  sharp  turn  three  miles  ahead,  and  he  was 
very  grateful  when  he  got  there.  As  he  passed  around  the  turn  he  slowed 
down  to  a  walk,  and  reached  for  his  tr  —  too  late  again. 

He  had  come  upon  Mrs.  Enderby,  Mrs.  Glossop,  Mrs.  Taylor,  and  Mary. 
They  were  on  foot,  and  seemed  tired  and  excited.  They  came  at  once  to  the 
buggy  and  shook  hands,  and  all  spoke  at  once,  and  said  eagerly  and  earnestly, 
how  glad  they  were  that  he  was  come,  and  how  fortunate  it  was.  And  Mrs. 
Enderby  said,  impressively  : 

"  It  looks  like  an  accident,  his  coming  at  such  a  time  ;  but  let  no  one  pro- 
fane it  with  such  a  name  ;  he  was  sent  —  sent  from  on  high." 

They  were  all  moved,  and  Mrs.  Glossop  said  in  an  awed  voice  : 

"  Sarah  Enderby,  you  never  said  a  truer  word  in  your  life.  This  is  no  ac- 
cident, it  is  a  special  Providence.  He  was  sent.  He  is  an  angel  —  an  angel 
as  truly  as  ever  angel  was  —  an  angel  of  deliverance,  /say  angel,  Sarah  En- 
derby, and  will  have  no  other  word.  Don't  let  any  one  ever  say  to  me  again, 
that  there's  no  such  thing  as  special  Providences  ;  for  if  this  isn't  one,  let 
them  account  for  it  that  can." 

"  I  know  it's  so,"  said  Mrs.  Taylor,  fervently.  "John  Brown,  I  could 
worship  you  ;  I  could  go  down  on  my  knees  to  you.  Didn't  something  tell 
you  ?  —  didn't  you  feel  that  you  were  sent '!  I  could  kiss  the  hem  of  your  lap- 
robe." 

He  was  not  able  to  speak  ;  he  was  helpless  with  shame  and  fright.  Mrs. 
Taylor  went  on  : 

"  Why,  just  look  at  it  all  around,  Julia  Glossop.  Any  person  can  see 
the  hand  of  Providence  in  it.  Here  at  noon  what  do  we  see  '!  We  see  the 
smoke  rising.  I  speak  up  and  say,  'That's  the  Old  People's  cabin  afire.' 
Didn't  I,  Julia  Glossop  ?  " 

"  The  very  words  you  said,  Nancy  Taylor.  I  was  as  close  to  you  as  I  am 
now,  and  I  heard  them.  You  may  have  said  hut  instead  of  cabin,  but  in 
substance  it's  the  same.     And  you  were  looking  pale,  too." 

"  Pale  ?  I  was  that  pale  that  if  —  why,  you  just  compare  it  with  this  lap- 
robe.  Then  the  next  thing  I  said  was,  '  Mary  Taylor,  tell  the  hired  man  to  rig  up 
the  team  —  we'll  go  to  the  rescue.'  And  she  said,  'Mother,  don't  you  know 
you  told  him  he  could  drive  to  see  his  people,  and  stay  over  Sunday  ?'  And 
it  was  just  so.  I  declare  for  it,  I  had  forgotten  it,  'Then,'  said  I,  'we'll  go 
afoot.'     And  go  we  did.     And  found  Sarah  Enderby  on  the  road." 

"  And  we  all  went  together,"  said  Mrs.  Enderby.  "  And  found  the  cabin 
set  fire  to  and  burnt  down  by  the  crazy  one,  and  the  poor  old  things  so  old  and 
feeble  that  they  couldn't  go  afoot.  And  we  got  them  to  a  shady  place  and 
made  them  as  comfortable  as  we  could,  and  began  to  wonder  which  way 
to  turn  to  find  some  way  to  get  them  conveyed  to  Nancy  Taylor's  house. 
And  I  spoke  up  and  said  —  now  what  did  I  say  ?  Didn't  I  say,  '  Providence 
will  provide  '  ?  " 

"  Why  sure  as  you  live,  so  you  did  !     I  had  forgotten  it." 

"  So  had  I,"  said  Mrs.  Glossop  and  Mrs.  Taylor  ;  "but  you  certainly  said 
it.     Now  wasn't  that  remarkable  ?  " 


A  CONSULTATION.  45 

"  Yes,  I  said  it.  And  then  we  went  to  Mr.  Moseley's,  two  miles,  and  all 
of  them  were  gone  to  the  camp  meeting  over  on  Stony  Fork  ;  and  then  we 
came  all  the  way  back,  two  miles,  and  then  here,  another  mile  —  and  Provi- 
dence has  provided.     You  see  it  yourselves." 

They  gazed  at  each  other  awe-struck,  and  lifted  their  hands  and  said  in 
unison  : 

"  It's  per-fectly  wonderful." 

"  And  then."  said  Mrs.  Glossop,  "  what  do  you  think  we  had  better  do  — 
let  Mr.  Brown  drive  the  Old  People  to  Nancy  Taylor's  one  at  a  time,  or  put 
both  of  them  in  the  buggy,  and  him  lead  the  horse  ?" 

Brown  gasped. 

"Now,  then,  that's  a  question,"  said  Mrs.  Enderby.  "You  see,  we  are 
all  tired  out.  and  any  way  we  fix  it  it's  going  to  be  difficult.  For  if  Mr. 
Brown  takes  both  of  them,  at  least  one  of  us  must  go  back  to  help  him,  for 
he  can't  load  them  into  the  buggy  by  himself,  and  they  so  helpless." 

"That  is  so,"  said  Mrs.  Taylor.  "  It  doesn't  look  —  oh,  how  would  this 
dn  .'  —  one  of  us  drive  there  with  Mr.  Brown,  and  the  rest  of  you  go  along  to 
my  house  and  get  things  ready.  I'll  go  with  him.  He  and  I  together  can 
lift  one  of  the  Old  People  into  the  buggy  ;  then  drive  her  to  my  house  and  — 

"  But  who  will  take  care  of  the  other  one  ?"  said  Mrs.  Enderby.  "  We 
musn't  leave  her  there  in  the  woods  alone,  you  know  —  especially  the  crazy 
one.     There  and  back  is  eight  miles,  you  see." 

They  had  all  been  sitting  on  the  grass  beside  the  buggy  for  a  while,  now, 
trying  to  rest  their  weary  bodies.  They  fell  silent  a  moment  or  two.  and 
struggled  in  thought  over  the  baffling  situation  ;  then  Mrs.  Enderby  bright- 
ened and  said  : 

"  I  think  I've  got  the  idea,  now.  You  see,  we  can't  walk  any  more. 
Think  what  we've  done  :  four  miles  there,  two  to  Moseley's,  is  six,  then  back 
to  here  —  nine  miles  since  noon,  and  not  a  bite  to  eat ;  I  declare  I  don't  see 
how  we've  done  it ;  and  as  for  me,  I  am  just  famishing.  Now,  somebody's 
got  to  go  back,  to  help  Mr.  Brown  —  there's  no  getting  around  that;  but 
whoever  goes  has  got  to  ride,  not  walk.  So  my  idea  is  this  :  one  of  us  to  ride 
back  with  Mr.  Brown,  then  ride  to  Nancy  Taylor's  house  with  one  of  the  Old 
People,  leaving  Mr.  Brown  to  keep  the  other  old  one  company,  you  all  to  go 
now  to  Nancy's  and  rest  and  wait  ;  then  one  of  you  drive  back  and  get  the 
other  one  and  drive  Ji£r  to  Nancy's,  and  Mr.  Brown  walk." 

"  Splendid  !"  they  all  cried.  "Oh,  that  will  do  — that  will  answer  per- 
fectly." And  they  all  said  that  Mrs.  Enderby  had  the  best  head  for  planning, 
in  the  company  ;  and  they  said  that  they  wondered  that  they  hadn't  thought 
of  this  simple  plan  themselves.  They  hadn't  meant  to  take  back  the  compli- 
ment, good  simple  souls,  and  didn't  know  they  had  done  it.  After  a  consulta- 
tion it  was  decided  that  Mrs.  Enderby  should  drive  back  with  Brown,  she 
being  entitled  to  the  distinction  because  she  had  invented  the  plan.  Every- 
thing now  being  satisfactorily  arranged  and  settled,  the  ladies  rose,  relieved 
and  happy,  and  brushed  down  their  gowns,  and  three  of  them  started  home- 
ward ;  Mrs.  Enderby  set  her  foot  on  the  buggy-step  and  was  about  to  climb 
in,  when  Brown  found  a  remnant  of  his  voice  and  gasped  out  — 


4ii  'FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

"Please  Mrs.  Enderby,  call  them  back  —  lam  very  weak;  I  can't  walk. 
1  can'i,  indeed." 

"  Why,  dear  Mr.  Brown  I  Yon  do  look  pale;  1  am  ashamed  of  myself 
that  I  didn't  notice  it  sooner.  Come  back  —  all  of  yon  !  Mr.  Brown  is  not 
well.  Is  there  anything  I  can  do  for  you.  Mr.  Brown?  —  I'm  real  sorry. 
Are  3Tou  in  pain  ?  " 

"No,  madam,  only  weak;  I  am  not  sick,  but  only  just  weak  —  lately; 
not  long,  but  just  lately." 

The  others  came  back,  and  poured  out  their  sympathies  and  commisera- 
tions, and  were  full  of  self-reproaches  for  not  having  noticed  how  pale  he  was. 
And  they  at  once  struck  out  a  new  plan,  and  soon  agreed  that  it  was  by  far 
the  best  of  all.  They  would  all  go  to  Nancy  Taylor's  house  and  see  to 
Brown's  needs  first.  He  could  lie  on  the  sofa  in  the  parlor,  and  while  Mrs. 
Taylor  and  Mary  took  care  of  him  the  other  two  ladies  would  take  the  buggy 
and  go  and  get  one  of  the  Old  People,  and  leave  one  of  themselves  with  the 
other  one,  and  — 

By  this  time,  without  any  solicitation,  they  were  at  the  horse's  head  and 
were  beginning  to  turn  him  around.  The  danger  wTas  imminent,  but  Brown 
found  his  voice  again  and  saved  himself.     He  said  — 

"But  ladies,  you  are  overlooking  something  which  makes  the  plan  im- 
practicable. You  see.  if  you  bring  one  of  them  home,  and  one  remains 
behind  with  the  other,  there  will  be  three  persons  there  wdien  one  of  you 
comes  back  for  that  other,  for  some  one  must  drive  the  buggy  back,  and  three 
can't  come  home  in  it." 

They  all  exclaimed,  "Why.  surely,  that  is  so!"  and  they  were  all  per- 
plexed again. 

"Dear,  dear,  what  can  we  do?"  said  Mrs.  Glossop ;  "it  is  the  most 
mixed-up  thing  that  ever  was.  The  fox  and  the  goose  and  the  corn  and 
things  —  oh,  dear,  they  are  nothing  to  it." 

They  sat  wearily  down  once  more,  to  further  torture  their  tormented  heads 
for  a  plan  that  would  work.  Presently  Mary  offered  a  plan  ;  it  was  her  first 
effort.     She  said  : 

"lam  young  and  strong,  and  am  refreshed,  now.  Take  Mr.  Brown  to 
our  house,  and  give  him  help  —  you  see  howr  plainly  he  needs  it.  I  will  go 
back  and  take  care  of  the  Old  People  ;  I  can  be  there  in  twenty  minutes. 
You  can  go  on  and  do  what  you  first  started  to  do  — wait  on  the  main  road  at 
our  house  until  somebody  comes  along  with  a  wagon  ;  then  send  and  bring 
away  the  three  of  us.  You  won't  have  to  wait  long  ;  the  farmers  will  soon 
be  coming  back  from  town,  now.  I  will  keep  old  Polly  patient  and  cheered 
up  —  the  crazy  one  doesn't  need  it." 

This  plan  was  discussed  and  accepted  ;  it  seemed  the  best  that  could  be 
done,  in  the  circumstances,  and  the  Old  People  must  be  getting  discouraged 
by  this  time. 

Brown  felt  relieved,  and  was  deeply  thankful.  Let  him  once  get  to  the 
main  road  and  he  would  find  a  way  to  escape. 

Then  Mrs.  Taylor  said  : 

"  The  evening  chill  will  be  coming  on,  pretty  soon,  and  those  poor  old 


AX   IMPRACTICABLE   PLAN. 


burnt  out  things  will  need  sonic  kind  of  covering.  Take  the  lap  robe  w  itli  you. 
dear." 

••  Very  well,  Mother,  I  will." 

She  stepped  to  the  buggy  and  put  OUl  her  hand  to  take  it  — 

That  was  the  end  of  the  tale.  The  passenger  who  told  it  said  that  when 
he  read  the  story  twenty-rive  years  ago  in  a  train  he  was  interrupted  at  thai 
point  — the  train  jumped  oil'  a  bridge. 

At  first  we  thought  we  could  finish  the  story  quite  easily,  and  we  set   to 
work  with  confidence ;  but  it  soon  began  to  appear  that  it  was  not  a  simple 
thing,  but  difficult  and  baffling.     This  was  on  ac- 
count of  Brown's  character — great  generosity  and 
kindliness,  but  complicated  with  unusual  shyness 
and  diffidence,  particularly  in  the  presence  of  ladies. 
There  was  his  love  for  Mary,  in  a  hopeful  state  but 
not  yet  secure  —  just   in  a  condition,  indeed, 
where  its  affair   must  be  handled  with  great 
tact .  and  no  mistakes  made,  no  offense 
given.     And  there  was  the  mother  — 
wavering,  half  willing — by  adroit  and 
flawless  diplomacy  to  be  won   over, 
now,  or  perhaps  never  at  all.     Also. 
there   were   the   helpless  Old  People 
yonder  in  the  woods  waiting  —  their 
fate  and  Brown's  happiness  to  be  de- 
termined by  what  Brown  should  do 
within  the  next  two  seconds.     Man- 
was  reaching  for  the  lap-robe  ;  Brown 
must  decidl — there  was  no  time  to 
be  lost. 

Of  course  none  but  a  happy  end- 
ing of  the  story  would  be  accepted  by 

the  jury  ;  the  finish  must  find  Brown  in  high  credit  with  the  ladies,  his 
behavior  without  blemish,  his  modesty  unwounded,  his  character  for  self- 
sacrifice  maintained,  the  Old  People  rescued  through  him.  their  benefactor, 
all  the  party  proud  of  him.  happy  in  him,  his  praises  on  all  their  tongues. 

We  tried  to  arrange  this,  but  it  was  beset  with  persistent  and  irreconcilable 
difficulties.  We  saw  that  Brown's  shyness  would  not  allow  him  to  give  up 
the  lap  robe.  This  would  offend  Mary  and  her  mother  ;  and  it  would  surprise 
the  other  ladies,  partly  because  this  stinginess  toward  the  suffering  Old  People 
would  be  out  of  character  with  Brown,  and  partly  because  he  was  a  special 
Providence  and  could  not  properly  act  so.  If  asked  to  explain  his  conduct, 
his  shyness  would  not  allow  him  to  tell  the  truth,  and  lack  of  invention  and 
practice  would  find  him  incapable  of  contriving  a  lie  that  would  wash.  We 
worked  at  the  troublesome  problem  until  three  in  the  morning. 

Meantime  Mary  was  still  reaching  for  the  lap-robe.  We  gave  it  up.  and 
decided  to  let  her  continue  to  reach.  It  is  the  reader's  privilege  to  determine 
for  himself  how  the  thin?  came  out. 


WK  WORKED  UNTIL  THREE. 


CHAPTER   III. 

It  is  more  trouble  to  make  a  maxim  than  it  is  to  do  right. 

—  Puth]' ilium!  Wils07t's  New  Calendar. 

ON  the  seventh  day  out  we  saw  a  dim  vast  bulk  standing 
ii])  out  of  the  wastes  of  the  Pacific  and  knew  that 
that  spectral  promontory  was  Diamond  Head,  a  piece 
of  this  world  which  I  had  not  seen  before  for  twenty-nine 
years.  So  we  were  nearing  Honolulu,  the  capital  city  of  the 
Sandwich  Islands  —  those  islands  which  to  me  were  Paradise; 
a  Paradise  which  I  had  been  longing  all  those  years  to  see 
again.  Not  any  other  thing  in  the  world  could  have  stirred 
me  as  the  sight  of  that  great  rock  did. 

In  the  night  we  anchored  a  mile  from  shore.  Through 
my  port  I  could  see  the  twinkling  lights  of  Honolulu  and  the 
dark  bulk  of  the  mountain-range  that  stretched  away  right 
and  left.  I  could  not  make  out  the  beautiful  Nuuana  valley, 
but  I  knew  whera  it  lay,  and  remembered  how  it  used  to  look 
in  the  old  times.  AVe  used  to  ride  up  it  on  horseback  in  those 
davs  —  we  young  people  —  and  branch  off  and  gather  bones  in 
a  sandy  region  where  one  of  the  first  Kamehameha's  battles 
was  fought.  He  was  a  remarkable  man,  for  a  king;  and  he 
was  also  a  remarkable  man  for  a  savage.  lie  was  a  mere 
kinglet  and  of  little  or  no  consequence  at  the  time  of  Captain 
Cook's  arrival  in  1788;  but  about  four  years  afterward  he 
conceived  the  idea  of  enlarging  his  sphere  of  influence.  That 
is  a  courteous  modern  phrase  which  means  robbing  your  neigh- 
bor—  for  your  neighbor's  benefit ;  and  the  great  theater  of  its 
benevolences  is  Africa.     Kamehameha  went  to  war,  and  in  the 

(48) 


-j'Tt>^j^^  'Vt-^FCe^-  b^o-^Jc . 


A 


feg-^^i-  Vtt?^   "//^n  nj-^ 


i>£-«-3*-e^=3-  Zfce^fr*  -^  *l&g^  u  (LP  $+  r  >-'/> 


■r* 


1u.  * 


FACSIMILE  PAGE  FROM  THE  AUTHORS  NOTE  BOOK. 


[49)1 


AX  ENERGETIC  MONARCH.  51 

course  of  ten  years  he  whipped  out  all  the  other  kings  and 
made  himself  master  of  every  one  of  the  nine  or  ten  islands 
that  form  the  group.  But  he  did  more  than  that,  He  bought 
ships,  freighted  them  with  sandal  wood  and  other  native  pro- 
ducts, and  sent  them  as  far  as  South  America  and  China;  he 
sold  to  his  savages  the  foreign  stuffs  and  tools  and  utensils 
which  came  back  in  these  ships,  and  started  the  march  of 
civilization.  It  is  doubtful  if  the  match  to  this  extraordinary 
thing  is  to  be  found  iu  the  history  of  any  other  savage. 
Savages  are  eager  to  learn  from  the  white  man  any  new  way 
to  kill  each  other,  but  it  is  not  their  habit  to  seize  with  avidity 
and  apply  with  energy  the  larger  and  nobler  ideas  which  he 
offers  them.  The  details  of  Kamehameha  s  history  show  that 
he  was  always  hospitably  ready  to  examine  the  white  man's 
ideas,  and  that  he  exercised  a  tidy  discrimination  in  making 
his  selections  from  the  samples  placed  on  view. 

A  shrewder  discrimination  than  was  exhibited  by  his  son 
and  successor,  Liholiho.  I  think.  Liholiho  could  have  qualified 
as  a  reformer,  perhaps,  but  as  a  king  he  was  a  mistake.  A 
mistake  because  he  tried  to  be  both  king  and  reformer.  This 
is  mixing  fire  and  gunpowder  together.  A  king  has  no  proper 
business  with  reforming.  His  best  policy  is  to  keep  things  as 
they  are;  and  if  he  cant  do  that,  he  ought  to  try  to  make 
them  worse  than  they  are.  This  is  not  guesswork;  I  have 
thought  over  this  matter  a  good  deal,  so  that  if  I  should  ever 
have  a  chance  to  become  a  king  1  would  know  how  to  conduct 
the  business  in  the  best  way. 

When  Liholiho  succeeded  his  father  he  found  himself  pos- 
sessed of  an  equipment  of  royal  tools  and  safeguards  which  a 
wiser  king  would  have  known  how  to  husband,  and  judiciously 
employ,  and  make  profitable.  The  entire  country  was  under 
the  one  scepter,  and  his  was  that  scepter.  There  was  an 
Established  Church,  and  he  was  the  head  of  it.     There  was  a 


52  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

Standing  Army,  and  he  was  the  head  of  that ;  an  Army  of 
114  privates  under  command  of  27  Generals  and  a  Field  Mar- 
shal. There  was  a  proud  and  ancient  Hereditary  Mobility. 
There  was  still  one  other  asset.  This  was  the  tabu  —  an  agent 
endowed  with  a  mysterious  and  stupendous  power,  an  agent 
not  found  among  the  properties  of  any  European  monarch,  a 
tool  of  inestimable  value  in  the  business.  Liholiho  was  head- 
master of  the  tabu.  The  tabu  was  the  most  ingenious  and 
effective  of  all  the  inventions  that  has  ever  been  devised  for 
keeping  a  people's  privileges  satisfactorily  restricted. 

It  required  the  sexes  to  live  in  separate  houses.  It  did  not 
allow  people  to  eat  in  either  house ;  they  must  eat  in  another 
place.  It  did  not  allow  a  man's  woman-folk  to  enter  his 
house.  It  did  not  allow  the  sexes  to  eat  together ;  the  men 
must  eat  first,  and  the  women  must  wait  on  them.  Then  the 
women  could  eat  what  was  left  —  if  anything  was  left  —  and 
wait  on  themselves.  I  mean,  if  anything  of  a  coarse  or  un- 
palatable sort  was  left,  the  women  could  have  it.  But  not  the 
good  things,  the  fine  things,  the  choice  things,  such  as  pork, 
poultry,  bananas,  cocoanuts,  the  choicer  varieties  of  fish,  and 
so  on.  By  the  tabu,  all  these  were  sacred  to  the  men  ;  the 
women  spent  their  lives  longing  for  them  and  wondering  what 
thev  might  taste  like;  and  they  died  without  finding  out. 

These  rules,  as  you  see,  were  quite  simple  and  clear.  It 
was  easy  to  remember  them  ;  and  useful.  For  the  penalty  for 
infringing  any  rule  in  the  whole  list  was  death.  Those  women 
easily  learned  to  put  up  with  shark  and  taro  and  dog  for  a  diet 
when  the  other  things  were  so  expensive. 

It  was  death  for  any  one  to  walk  upon  tabu'd  ground;  or 
defile  a  tabu'd  thing  with  his  touch  ;  or  fail  in  due  servility  to 
a  chief ;  or  step  upon  the  king's  shadow.  The  nobles  and  the 
King  and  the  priests  were  always  suspending  little  rags  here 
and  there  and  yonder,  to  give  notice  to  the  people  that  the 


THKKW    AWAY    HIS   CHANCE. 


53 


ROYAL    EQUIPMENTS. 


decorated  spot  or  thing  was  tabu,  and  death  lurking  near. 
The  struggle  for  life  was  difficult  and  chancy  in  the  islands  in 
those  days. 

Thus  advantageously 
was  the  new  king  situated. 
Will  it  be  believed  that  the 
first  thing  he  did  was  to 
destroy  his  Established 
Church,  root  and  branch  \ 
lie  did  indeed  do  that.  To 
state  the  case  figuratively, 
he  was  a  prosperous  sailor 
who  burnt  his  ship  and  took 
t<>  a  raft.  This  ( Jhurch  was 
a  horrid  thing.  It  heavily 
oppressed  the  people ;  it 
kept  them  always  trembling 
in  the  gloom  of  mysterious  threatenings ;  it  slaughtered  them 
in  sacrifice  before  its  grotesque  idols  of  wood  and  stone ;  it 
cowed  them,  it  terrorized  them,  it  made  them  slaves  to  its 
priests,  and  through  the  priests  to  the  king.  It  was  the  best 
friend  a  king  could  have,  and  the  most  dependable.  To  a 
professional  reformer  who  should  annihilate  so  frightful  and 
so  devastating  a  power  as  this  Church,  reverence  and  praise 
would  be  due ;  but  to  a  king  who  should  do  it,  could  properly 
be  due  nothing  but  reproach ;  reproach  softened  by  sorrow  ; 
sorrow  for  his  unfitness  for  his  position. 

lie  destroyed  his  Established  Church,  and  his  kingdom  is  a 
republic  to-day,  in  consequence  of  that  act. 

When  he  destroyed  the  Church  and  burned  the  idols  he  did 
a  mighty  thing  for  civilization  and  for  his  people's  weal  —  but 
it  was  not  "business."  It  was  unkingiy,  it  was  inartistic.  It 
made  trouble  for  his  line.     The  American  missionaries  arrived 


54  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

while  the  burned  idols  were  still  smoking.  They  found  the 
nation  without  a  religion,  and  they  repaired  the  defect.  They 
offered  their  own  religion  and  it  was  gladly  received.  But  it- 
was  no  support  to  arbitrary  kingship,  and  so  the  kingly  power 
began  to  weaken  from  that  day.  Forty-seven  years  later, 
when  I  was  in  the  islands,  Kamehameha  V.  was  trying  to 
repair  Lilioliho's  blunder,  and  not  succeeding.  He  had  set  up 
an  Established  Church  and  made  himself  the  head  of  it,  But 
it  was  only  a  pinchbeck  thing,  an  imitation,  a  bauble,  an  empty 
show.  It  had  no  power,  no  value  for  a  king.  It  could  not 
harry  or  burn  or  slay,  it  in  no  way  resembled  the  admirable 
machine  which  Liholiho  destroyed.  It  was  an  Established 
Church  without  an  Establishment;  all  the  people  were  Dis- 
senters. 

Long  before  that,  the  kingship  had  itself  become  but  a 
name,  a  show.  At  an  early  day  the  missionaries  had  turned  it 
into  something  very  much  like  a  republic;  and  here  lately  the 
business  whites  have  turned  it  into  something  exactly  like  it. 

In  Captain  Cook's  time  <  L778),  the  native  population  of  the 
islands  was  estimated  at  400,000;  in  1836  at  something  short  of 
200,000,  in  L866  at  50,000;  it  is  to-day,  per  census,  25,000.  All 
intelligent  people  praise  Kamehameha  I.  and  Liholiho  for  con- 
ferring upon  their  people  the  great  boon  of  civilization.  I 
would  do  it  myself,  but  my  intelligence  is  out  of  repair,  now, 
from  over-work. 

When  I  was  in  the  islands  nearly  a  generation  ago,  I  was 
acquainted  with  a  young  American  couple  who  had  among 
their  belongings  an  attractive  little  son  of  the  ao-e  of  seven  — 
attractive  but  not  practicably  companionable  with  me,  because 
he  knew  no  English.  He  had  played  from  his  birth  with  the 
little  Kanakas  on  his  father's  plantation,  and  had  preferred 
their  language  and  would  learn  no  other.  The  family  removed 
to  America  a  month  after  I  arrived  in  the  islands,  and  straight- 


\  Ay 


SOMETHING   TOTTHKD   HIS   SHOULDEK. 


THE    DIVER.  57 

way  the  boy  began  to  lose  his  Kanaka  and  pick  up  English. 
By  the  time  he  was  twelve  he  hadn't  a  word  of  Kanaka  left; 
the  language  had  wholly  departed  from  his  tongue  and  from  his 
comprehension.  Nine  years  later,  when  he  was  twenty-one,  I 
came  upon  the  family  in  one  of  the  lake  towns  of  New  York, 
and  the  mother  told  me  about  an  adventure  which  her  son  had 
been  having.  By  trade  he  was  now  a  professional  diver.  A 
passenger  boat  had  been  caught  in  a  storm  on  the  lake,  and  had 
gone  down,  carrying  her  people  with  her.  A  few  days  later 
the  young  diver  descended,  with  his  armor  on,  and  entered  the 
berth-saloon  of  the  boat,  and  stood  at  the  foot  of  the  com- 
panionway,  with  his  hand  on  the  rail,  peering  through  the  dim 
water.  Presently  something  touched  him  on  the  shoulder,  and 
he  turned  and  found  a  dead  man  swaying  and  bobbing  about 
him  and  seemingly  inspecting  him  inquiringly.  He  was  par- 
alyzed with  fright.  His  entry  had  disturbed  the  water,  and 
now  he  discerned  a  number  of  dim  corpses  making  for  him  and 
wagging  their  heads  and  swaying  their  bodies  like  sleepy  peo- 
ple trying  to  dance.  His  senses  forsook  him,  and  in  that  con- 
dition he  was  drawn  to  the  surface.  He  was  put  to  bed  at 
home,  and  was  soon  very  ill.  During  some  days  he  had  sea- 
sons of  delirium  which  lasted  several  hours  at  a  time ;  and 
while  they  lasted  he  talked  Kanaka  incessantly  and  glibly ;  and 
Kanaka  only.  He  was  still  very  ill,  and  he  talked  to  me  in 
that  tongue ;  but  I  did  not  understand  it,  of  course.  The 
doctor-books  tell  us  that  cases  like  this  are  not  uncommon. 
Then  the  doctors  ought  to  studv  the  cases  and  find  out  how 
to  multiply  them.  Many  languages  and  things  get  mislaid  in 
a  person's  head,  and  stay  mislaid  for  lack  of  this  remedy. 

Many  memories  of  my  former  visit  to  the  islands  came  up 
in  my  mind  while  we  lay  at  anchor  in  front  of  Honolulu  that 
night.  And  pictures  —  pictures  —  pictures  —  an  enchanting 
procession  of  them  !    I  was  impatient  for  the  morning  to  come 


58  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

When  it  came  it  brought  disappointment,  of  course. 
Cholera  had  broken  out  in  the  town,  and  we  were  not  allowed 
to  have  any  communication  with  the  shore.  Thus  suddenly 
did  my  dream  of  twenty-nine  years  go  to  ruin.  Messages  came 
from  friends,  but  the  friends  themselves  I  was  not  to  have  any 
sight  of.  My  lecture-hall  was  ready,  but  I  was  not  to  see  that, 
either. 

Several  of  our  passengers  belonged  in  Honolulu,  and  these 
were  sent  ashore;  but  nobody  could  go  ashore  and  return. 
There  were  people  on  shore  who  were  booked  to  go  with  us  to 
Australia,  but  we  could  not  receive  them  ;  to  do  it  would  cost 
us  a  quarantine-term  in  Sydney.  They  could  have  escaped  the 
day  before,  by  ship  to  San  Francisco ;  but  the  bars  had  been 
put  up,  now,  and  they  might  have  to  wait  weeks  before  any 
ship  could  venture  to  give  them  a  passage  any  whither.  And 
there  were  hardships  for  others.  An  elderly  lady  and  her  son, 
recreation-seekers  from  Massachusetts,  had  wandered  westward, 
further  and  further  from  home,  alwavs  intending-  to  take  the 
return  track,  but  always  concluding  to  go  still  a  little  further; 
and  now  here  they  were  at  anchor  before  Honolulu  —  positively 
their  last  westward-bound  indulgence  —  they  had  made  up 
their  minds  to  that  --but  where  is  the  use  in  making  up  your 
mind  in  this  world  \  It  is  usually  a  waste  of  time  to  do  it. 
These  two  would  have  to  stay  with  us  as  far  as  Australia. 
Then  they  could  go  on  around  the  world,  or  go  back  the  way 
they  had  come ;  the  distance  and  the  accommodations  and  out- 
lay of  time  would  be  just  the  same,  whichever  of  the  two 
routes  they  might  elect  to  take.  Think  of  it :  a  projected  ex- 
cursion of  five  hundred  miles  gradually  enlarged,  without  any 
elaborate  degree  of  intention,  to  a  possible  twenty-four  thou- 
sand. However,  they  were  used  to  extentions  by  this  time,  and 
did  not  mind  this  new  one  much. 

And  we  had  with  us  a  lawver  from  Victoria,  who  had  been 


HONOLULU   OF  THE   PAST.  59 

sent  out  by  the  Government  on  an  international  matter,  and  he 
had  brought  his  wife  with  him  and  left  the  children  at  home 
with  the  servants  —  and  now  what  was  to  be  done  ?  Go  ashore 
amongst  the  cholera  and  take  the  risks  ?  Most  certainly  not. 
They  decided  to  go  on,  to  the  Fiji  islands,  wait  there  a  fort- 
night for  the  next  ship,  and  then  sail  for  home.  They  couldn't 
foresee  that  they  wouldn't  see  a  home  ward-bound  ship  again 
for  six  weeks,  and  that  no  word  could  come  to  them  from  the 
children,  and  no  word  go  from  them  to  the  children  in  all  that 
time.  It  is  easy  to  make  plans  in  this  world ;  even  a  cat  can 
do  it ;  and  when  one  is  out  in  those  remote  oceans  it  is  notice- 
able that  a  cat's  plans  and  a  man's  are  worth  about  the  same. 
There  is  much  the  same  shrinkage  in  both,  in  the  matter  of 
values. 

There  was  nothing  for  us  to  do  but  sit  about  the  decks  in 
the  shade  of  the  awnings  and  look  at  the  distant  shore.  We 
lay  in  luminous  blue  water  ;  shoreward  the  water  was  green - 
green  and  brilliant;  at  the  shore  itself  it  broke  in  a  long  white 
ruffle,  and  with  no  crash,  no  sound  that  we  could  hear.  The 
town  was  buried  under  a  mat  of  foliage  that  looked  like  a 
cushion  of  moss.  The  silky  mountains  were  clothed  in  soft, 
rich  splendors  of  melting  color,  and  some  of  the  cliffs  were 
veiled  in  slanting  mists.  I  recognized  it  all.  It  was  just  as  I 
had  seen  it  long  before,  with  nothing  of  its  beauty  lost,  noth- 
ing of  its  charm  wanting. 

A  change  had  come,  but  that  was  political,  and  not  visible 
from  the  ship.  The  monarchy  of  my  day  was  gone,  and  a 
republic  was  sitting  in  its  seat.  It  was  not  a  material  change. 
The  old  imitation  pomps,  the  fuss  and  feathers,  have  departed, 
and  the  royal  trademark  —  that  is  about  all  that  one  could 
miss,  I  suppose.  That  imitation  monarchy  was  grotesque 
enough,  in  my  time;  if  it  had  held  on  another  thirty  years  it 
would  have  been  a  monarchy  without  subjects  of  the  king's  race. 


till  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

We  had  a  sunset  of  a  very  Hue  sort.  The  vast  plain  of  the 
sea  was  marked  off  in  bands  of  sharply-contrasted  colors : 
great  stretches  of  dark  blue,  others  of  purple,  others  of  polished 
bronze ;  the  billowy  mountains  showed  all  sorts  of  dainty 
browns  and  greens,  blues  and  purples  and  blacks,  and  the 
rounded  velvety  backs  of  certain  of  them  made  one  want  to 
stroke  them,  as  one  would  the  sleek  back  of  a  cat.  The  long, 
sloping  promontory  projecting  into  the  sea  at  the  west  turned 
dim  and  leaden  and  spectral,  then  became  suffused  with  pink 
—  dissolved  itself  in  a  pink  dream,  so  to  speak,  it  seemed  so 
airy  and  unreal.  Presently  the  cloud-rack  was  flooded  with 
fiery  splendors,  and  these  were  copied  on  the  surface  of  the 
sea,  and  it  made  one  drunk  with  delight  to  look  upon  it. 

From  talks  with  certain  of  our  passengers  whose  home  was 
Honolulu,  and  from  a  sketch  by  Mrs.  Mary  H.  Krout,  I  was 
able  to  perceive  what  the  Honolulu  of  to-day  is,  as  compared 
with  the  Honolulu  of  my  time.  In  my  time  it  was  a  beautiful 
little  town,  made  up  of  snow-white  wooden  cottages  deliriously 
smothered  in  tropical  vines  and  flowers  and  trees  and  shrubs ; 
and  its  coral  roads  and  streets  were  hard  and  smooth,  and  as 
white  as  the  houses.  The  outside  aspects  of  the  place  sug- 
gested the  presence  of  a  modest  and  comfortable  prosperity  — 
a  general  prosperity  —  perhaps  one  might  strengthen  the  term 
and  say  universal.  There  were  no  fine  houses,  no  fine  furni- 
ture. There  were  no  decorations.  Tallow  candles  furnished 
the  light  for  the  bedrooms,  a  whale-oil  lamp  furnished  it  for 
the  parlor.  Xative  matting  served  as  carpeting.  In  the  parlor 
one  would  find  two  or  three  lithographs  on  the  walls — portraits 
as  a  rule :  Kamehameha  IV.,  Louis  Kossuth,  Jenny  Lind  ;  and 
may  be  an  engraving  or  two :  Rebecca  at  the  Well,  Moses 
smiting  the  rock.  Joseph's  servants  finding  the  cup  in  Ben- 
jamin's sack.  There  would  be  a  center  table,  with  books  of  a 
tranquil  sort  on  it :     The  Whole  Duty  of  Man,  Baxter's  Saints' 


HONOLULU   OF   TO-DAY.  H1 

Rest,  Fox's  Martyrs,  Tupper's  Proverbial  Philosophy,  hound 
copies  of  The  Missionary  Herald  and  of  Father  Damon's 
Seaman's  Friend.  A  melodeon ;  a  music  stand,  with  Willie, 
We  have  Missed  You,  Star  of  the  Evening,  Roll  on  Silver 
Moon,  Are  We  Most  There,  I  Would  not  Live  Ahvay,  and 
other  songs  of  love  and  sentiment,  together  with  an  assort- 
ment of  hymns.  A  what-not  with  semi-glohular  glass  paper- 
weights, enclosing  miniature  pictures  of  ships,  New  England 
rural  snowstorms,  and  the  like ;  sea-shells  with  Bible  texts 
carved  on  them  in  cameo  style ;  native  curios ;  whale's  tooth 
with  full-rigged  ship  carved  on  it.  There  was  nothing  remin- 
iscent of  foreign  parts,  for  nobody  had  been  abroad.  Trips 
were  made  to  San  Francisco,  but  that  could  not  be  called  going 
abroad.     Comprehensively  speaking,  nobody  traveled. 

But  Honolulu  has  grown  wealthy  since  then,  and  of  course 
wealth  has  introduced  changes ;  some  of  the  old  simplicities 
have  disappeared.  Here  is  a  modern  house,  as  pictured  by 
Mrs.  Krout : 

"Almost  every  house  is  surrounded  by  extensive  lawns  and  gardens  en- 
closed by  walls  of  volcanic  stone  or  by  thick  hedges  of  the  brilliant  hibiscus. 

"  The  houses  are  most  tastefully  and  comfortably  furnished  ;  the  floors 
are  either  of  hard  wood  covered  with  rugs  or  with  fine  Indian  matting,  while 
there  is  a  preference,  as  in  most  warm  countries,  for  rattan  or  bamboo  furni- 
ture ;  there  are  the  usual  accessories  of  bric-a-brac,  pictures,  books,  and 
curios  from  all  parts  of  the  world,  for  these  island  dwellers  are  indefatigable 
travelers. 

"  Nearly  every  house  has  what  is  called  a  lanai.  It  is  a  large  apartment, 
roofed,  floored,  open  on  three  sides,  with  a  door  or  a  draped  archway  opening 
into  the  drawing-room.  Frequently  the  roof  is  formed  by  the  thick  inter- 
lacing boughs  of  the  lion  tree,  impervious  to  the  sun  and  even  to  the  rain,  ex- 
cept in  violent  storms.  Vines  are  trained  about  the  sides  —  the  stephanotis  or 
some  one  of  the  countless  fragrant  and  blossoming  trailers  which  abound  in 
the  islands.  There  are  also  curtains  of  matting  that  may  be  drawn  to  ex- 
clude the  sun  or  rain.  The  floor  is  bare  for  coolness,  or  partially  covered 
with  rugs,  and  the  lanai  is  prettily  furnished  with  comfortable  chairs,  sofas, 
and  tables  loaded  with  flowers,  or  wonderful  ferns  in  pots. 

'  The  lanai  is  the  favorite  reception  room,  and  here  at  any  social  function 
the  musical  program  is  given  and  cakes  and  ices  are  served  ;  here  morning 
callers  are  received,  or  gay  riding  parties,  the  ladies  in  pretty  divided  skirts. 


62  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

worn  for  convenience   in   riding  astride, —  the  universal   mode  adopted  by 
Europeans  and  Americans,  as  well  as  by  the  natives. 

"The  comfort  and  luxury  of  such  an  apartment,  especially  at  a  seashore 
villa,  can  hardly  be  imagined.  The  soft  breezes  sweep  across  it,  heavy  witli 
the  fragrance  of  jasmine  and  gardenia,  and  through  the  swaying  boughs  of 
palm  and  mimosa  there  are  glimpses  of  rugged  mountains,  their  summits 
veiled  in  clouds,  of  purple  sea  with  the  white  surf  beating  eternally  against 
the  reefs,—  whiter  still  in  the  yellow  sunlight  or  the  magical  moonlight  of 
the  tropics." 

There:  rugs,  ices,  pictures,  lanais,  worldly  books,  sinful 
bric-a-brac  fetched  from  everywhere.  And  the  ladies  riding 
astride.  These  are  changes,  indeed.  In  my  time  the  native 
women  rode  astride,  but  the  white  ones  lacked  the  courage  to 
adopt  their  wise  custom.  In  my  time  ice  was  seldom  seen  in 
Honolulu.  It  sometimes  came  in  sailing  vessels  from  New 
England  as  ballast ;  and  then,  if  there  happened  to  be  a  man- 
of-war  in  port  and  balls  and  suppers  raging  by  consequence, 
the  ballast  was  worth  six  hundred  dollars  a  ton,  as  is  evidenced 
by  reputable  tradition.  But  the  ice-machine  has  traveled  all 
over  the  world,  now,  and  brought  ice  within  everybody's 
reach.  In  Lapland  and  Spitzbergen  no  one  uses  native  ice  in 
our  day,  except  the  bears  and  the  walruses. 

The  bicycle  is  not  mentioned.  It  was  not  necessary.  "We 
know  that  it  is  there,  without  inquiring.  It  is  everywhere. 
But  for  it,  people  could  never  have  had  summer  homes  on  the 
summit  of  Mont  Blanc ;  before  its  day,  property  up  there  had 
but  a  nominal  value.  The  ladies  of  the  Hawaiian  capital 
learned  too  late  the  right  way  to  occupy  a  horse  —  too  late  to 
get  much  benefit  from  it.  The  riding-horse  is  retiring  from 
business  everywhere  in  the  world.  In  Honolulu  a  few  years 
from  now  he  will  be  only  a  tradition. 

AVe  all  know  about  Father  Damien,  the  French  priest 
who  voluntarily  forsook  the  world  and  went  to  the  leper 
island  of  Alolokai  to  labor  among  its  population  of  sorrowful 
exiles  who  wait  there,  in  slow -consuming  misery,  for  death 


THE   LEPERS   OF  HAWAII.  63 

to  come  and  release  them  from  their  troubles  ;  and  we  know 
that  the  thing  which  he  knew  beforehand  would  happen,  did 
happen  :  that  he  became  a  leper  himself,  and  died  of  that 
horrible  disease.  There  was  still  another  case  of  self-sacrifice, 
it  appears.  I  asked  after  "  Billy  "  Ragsdale,  interpreter  to  the 
Parliament  in  my  time  —  a  half- white.  He  was  a  brilliant 
young  fellow,  and  very  popular.  As  an  interpreter  he  would 
have  been  hard  to  match  anywhere.  lie  used  to  stand  up  in 
the  Parliament  and  turn  the  English  speeches  into  Hawaiian 
and  the  Hawaiian  speeches  into  English  with  a  readiness 
and  a  volubility  that  were  astonishing.  I  asked  after  him, 
and  was  told  that  his  prosperous  career  was  cut  short  in  a 
sudden  and  unexpected  way,  just  as  he  was  about  to  marry 
a  beautiful  half-caste  girl.  He  discovered,  by  some  nearly 
invisible  sign  about  his  skin,  that  the  poison  of  leprosy  was  in 
him.  The  secret  was  his  own,  and  might  be  kept  concealed 
for  years:  but  he  would  not  be  treacherous  to  the  girl  that 
loved  him  ;  he  would  not  marry  her  to  a  doom  like  his.  And 
so  he  put  his  affairs  in  order,  and  went  around  to  all  his  friends 
and  bade  them  good-bye,  and  sailed  in  the  leper  ship  to 
Molokai.  There  he  died  the  loathsome  and  lingering  deatli 
that  all  lepers  die. 

In  this  place  let  me  insert  a  paragraph  or  two  from  "  The 
Paradise  of  the  Pacific"  (Rev.  H.  H.  Go  wen)  : 

"Poor  lepers  !  It  is  easy  for  those  who  have  no  relatives  or  friends 
among  them  to  enforce  the  decree  of  segregation  to  the  letter,  but  who  can 
write  of  the  terrible,  the  heart-breaking  scenes  which  that  enforcement  has 
brought  about  ? 

"  A  man  upon  Hawaii  was  suddenly  taken  away  after  a  summary  arrest, 
leaving  behind  him  a  helpless  wife  about  to  give  birth  to  a  babe.  The 
devoted  wife  with  great  pain  and  risk  came  the  whole  journey  to  Honolulu, 
and  pleaded  until  the  authorities  were  unable  to  resist  her  entreaty  that  she 
might  go  and  live  like  a  leper  with  her  leper  husband. 

"A  woman  in  the  prime  of  life  and  activity  is  condemned  as  an  incipient 
leper,  suddenly  removed  from  her  home,  and  her  husband  returns  to  find  his 
two  helpless  babes  moaning  for  their  lost  mother. 


64  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"  Imagine  it  !  The  case  of  the  babies  is  hard,  but  its  bitterness  is  a  trifle 
—  less  than  a  trifle  —  less  than  nothing  —  compared  to  what  the  mother  must 
suffer  ;  and  suffer  minute  by  minute,  hour  by  hour,  day  by  day,  month  by 
mouth,  year  by  year ,  without  respite,  relief,  or  any  abatement  of  her  pain  till 
she  dies. 

"  One  woman,  Luka  Kaaukau,  has  been  living  with  her  leper  husband  in 
the  settlement  for  twelve  years.  The  man  has  scarcely  a  joint  left,  his  limbs 
are  only  distorted  ulcerated  stumps,  for  four  years  his  wife  has  put  every 
particle  of  food  into  his  mouth.  He  wanted  his  wife  to  abandon  his  wretched 
carcass  long  ago,  as  she  herself  was  sound  and  well,  but  Luka  said  that  she 
was  content  to  remain  and  wait  on  the  man  she  loved  till  the  spirit  should  be 
freed  from  its  burden. 

"  I  myself  have  known  hard  cases  enough  :  —  of  a  girl,  apparently  in  full 
health,  decorating  the  church  with  me  at  Easter,  who  before  Christmas  is 
taken  away  as  a  confirmed  leper ;  of  a  mother  hiding  her  child  in  the 
mountains  for  years  so  that  not  even  her  dearest  friends  knew  that  she  had  a 
child  alive,  that  he  might  not  be  taken  away  ;  of  a  respectable  white  man 
taken  away  from  his  wife  and  family,  and  compelled  to  become  a  dweller  in 
the  Leper  Settlement,  where  he  is  counted  dead,  even  by  the  insurance 
companies." 

And  one  great  pity  of  it  all  is,  that  these  poor  sufferers 
are  innocent.  The  leprosy  does  not  come  of  sins  which  they 
committed,  but  of  sins  committed  by  their  ancestors,  who 
escaped  the  curse  of  leprosy  ! 

Mr.  Gowan  has  made  record  of  a  certain  very  striking; 
circumstance.  "Would  you  expect  to  find  in  that  awful  Leper 
Settlement  a  custom  worthy  to  be  transplanted  to  your  own 
country  '.  They  have  one  such,  and  it  is  inexpressibly  touching 
and  beautiful.  When  death  sets  open  the  prison-door  of  life 
there,  the  band  salutes  the  freed  soul  with  a  burst  of  glad 
music ! 


CHAPTEK    IV. 

A  dozen  direct  censures  arc  easier  U>  bear  than  one  morganatic  compliment. 

— Pu/M'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

SAILED  from   Honolulu.     From   diary: 
Sept.    '.  Flocks  of  flying  fish -- slim,  shapely,  grace- 
ful, and  intensely  white.     With  the  sun  on  them  they 
look  like  a  flight  of  silver  fruit-knives.      They  are  able  to  fly  a 
hundred  yards. 

Sept.  3.  In  '.»;  50'  north  latitude  at  breakfast.  Approach- 
ing the  equator  on  a  long  slant.  Those  of  us  who  have  never 
seen  the  equator  are  a  good  deal  excited.  I  think  I  would 
rather  see  it  than  any  other  thing  in  the  world.  We  entered 
the  "doldrums"  last  night -- variable  winds,  hursts  of  rain, 
intervals  of  calm,  with  chopping  seas  and  a  wobbly  and 
drunken  motion  to  the  ship — a  condition  of  things  findable 
in  other  regions  sometimes,  but  present  in  the  doldrums 
always.  The  globe-girdling  belt  called  the  doldrums  is  20  de- 
grees wide,  and  the  thread  called  the  equator  lies  along  the 
middle  of  it. 

Sept.  4-  Total  eclipse  of  the  moon  last  night.  At  7.30  it 
began  to  go  off.  At  total  — or  about  that  —  it  was  like  a  rich 
rosy  cloud  with  a  tumbled  surface  framed  in  the  circle  and 
projecting  from  it  —  a  bulge  of  strawberry-ice,  so  to  speak.  At 
half-eclipse  the  moon  was  like  a  gilded  acorn  in  its  cup. 

Sept.  ■'>.     Closing  in  on  the  equator  this  noon.     A  sailor  ex- 
plained to  a  young  girl  that  the  ship's  speed  is  poor  because  we 
are  climbing  up  the  bulge  toward  the  center  of  the  globe ;  but 
that  when  we  should  once  get  over,  at  the  equator,  and  start 
5  (65) 


w 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


WATCHING    FOR   THE   BLUE   RIBBON. 


down-hill,  we  should  fly.  When  she  asked  him  the  other  day 
what  the  fore-yard  was,  he  said  it  was  the  front  yard,  the  open 
area  in  the  front  end  of  the  ship.  That  man  has  a  good  deal  of 
learning  stored  up,  and  the  girl  is  likely  to  get  it  all. 

Afternoon.     Crossed  the  equator.     In  the  distance  it  looked 
like  a  blue  ribbon  stretched  across  the  ocean.    Several  passengers 

kodak'd  it.  We  had  no  fool  cer- 
emonies, no  fantastics,  no  horse- 
play. All  that  sort  of  thing- 
has  gone  out.  In  old  times  a 
sailor,  dressed  as  Neptune,  used 
to  come  in  over  the  bows,  with 
his  suite,  and  lather  up  and 
shave  everybody  who  was  cross- 
ing the  equator  for  the  first 
time,  and  then  cleanse  these 
unfortunates  by  swinging  them 
from  the  yard-arm  and  ducking;  them  three  times  in  the  sea. 
This  was  considered  funny.  Nobody  knows  why.  No,  that 
is  not  true.  We  do  know  why.  Such  a  thing  could  never  be 
funny  on  land  ;  no  part  of  the  old-time  grotesque  performances 
gotten  up  on  shipboard  to  celebrate  the  passage  of  the  line 
could  ever  be  funny  on  shore  —  they  would  seem  dreary  and 
witless  to  shore  people.  But  the  shore  people  would  change 
their  minds  about  it  at  sea,  on  a  long  voyage.  On  such  a 
voyage,  with  its  eternal  monotonies,  people's  intellects  dete- 
riorate ;  the  owners  of  the  intellects  soon  reach  a  point  where 
they  almost  seem  to  prefer  childish  things  to  things  of  a  ma- 
turer  degree.  One  is  often  surprised  at  the  juvenilities  which 
grown  people  indulge  in  at  sea,  and  the  interest  they  take  in 
them,  and  the  consuming  enjoyment  they  get  out  of  them. 
This  is  on  long  voyages  only.  The  mind  gradually  become; 
inert,  dull,  blunted ;  it  loses  its  accustomed  interest  in  intellec- 


Ed 

2 

- 


S3 

a 
c 


HOliSK     I'.II.I.IAKDS. 


10 


8 

1 

6 

3 

5 

7 

4 

9 

2 

10  off 


DIAGRAM. 


(68) 


SHOVEL-BOARD.  69 

tual  things;  nothing  but  horse-play  can  rouse  it,  nothing  but 
wild  and  foolish  grotesqueries  can  entertain  it.  On  short  voy- 
ages it  makes  no  such  exposure  of  itself  ;  it  hasn't  time  to  slump 
down  to  this  sorrowful  level. 

The  short-voyage  passenger  gets  his  chief  physical  exercise 
out  of  "horse-billiards"  -shovel-board.  It  is  a  good  game. 
We  play  it  in  this  ship.  A  quartermaster  chalks  off  a  diagram 
like  this —  on  the  deck. 

The  player  uses  a  cue  that  is  like  a  broom-handle  with  a 
quarter-moon  of  wood  fastened  to  the  end  of  it.  With  this  he 
shoves  wooden  disks  the  size  of  a  saucer  —  he  gives  the  disk  a 
vigorous  shove  and  sends  it  fifteen  or  twenty  feet  along  the 
deck  and  lands  it  in  one  of  the  squares  if  lie  can.  If  it  stays 
there  till  the  inning  is  played  out,  it  will  count  as  many  points 
in  the  game  as  the  figure  in  the  square  it  has  stopped  in  rep- 
resents. The  adversary  plays  to  knock  that  disk  out  and  leave 
his  own  in  its  place  —  particularly  if  it  rests  upon  the  9  or  10 
or  some  other  of  the  high  numbers ;  but  if  it  rests  in  the  "  10- 
off  "  he  backs  it  up —  lands  his  disk  behind  it  a  foot  or  two,  to 
make  it  difficult  for  its  owner  to  knock  it  out  of  that  damag- 
ing place  and  improve  his  record.  When  the  inning  is  played 
out  it  may  be  found  that  each  adversary  has  placed  his  four 
disks  where  they  count ;  it  may  be  found  that  some  of  them 
are  touching  chalk  lines  and  not  counting ;  and  very  often  it 
will  be  found  that  there  has  been  a  general  wreckage,  and 
that  not  a  disk  has  been  left  within  the  diagram.  Anyway, 
the  result  is  recorded,  whatever  it  is,  and  the  game  goes  on. 
The  game  is  100  points,  and  it  takes  from  twenty  minutes  to 
forty  to  play  it,  according  to  luck  and  the  condition  of  the  sea. 
It  is  an  exciting  game,  and  the  crowd  of  spectators  furnish 
abundance  of  applause  for  fortunate  shots  and  plenty  of  laugh- 
ter for  the  other  kind.  It  is  a  game  of  skill,  but  at  the  same 
time  the  uneasy  motion  of  the  ship  is  constantly  interfering 


70  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

with  skill ;  this  makes  it  a  chancy  game,  and  the  element  of 
luck  comes  largely  in. 

We  had  a  couple  of  grand  tournaments,  to  determine  who 
should  be  "Champion  of  the  Pacific ";  they  included  among 
the  participants  nearly  all  the  passengers,  of  both  sexes,  and 
the  officers  of  the  ship,  and  they  afforded  many  days  of  stu- 
pendous interest  and  excitement,  and  murderous  exercise  —  for 
horse- billiards  is  a  physically  violent  game. 

The  figures  in  the  following  record  of  some  of  the  closing- 
games  in  the  first  tournament  will  show,  better  than  any 
description,  how  very  chancy  the  game  is.  The  losers  here 
represented  had  all  been  winners  in  the  previous  games  of  the 
series,  some  of  them  by  fine  majorities : 

Chase, 
Miss  C. , 
Taylor, 
Thomas 
Coomber,  106 

And  so  on;  until  but  three  couples  of  winners  were  left. 
Then  I  beat  my  man,  young  Smith  beat  his  man,  and  Thomas 
beat  his.  This  reduced  the  combatants  to  three.  Smith  and  I 
took  the  deck,  and  I  led  off.  At  the  close  of  the  first  inning  I 
was  1<>  worse  than  nothing  and  Smith  had  scored  7.  The  luck 
continued  against  me.  When  I  was  57,  Smith  was  97- 
within  ?>  of  out.  The  luck  changed  then.  He  picked  up  a- 
10-off  or  so,  and  couldn't  recover.     I  beat  him. 

The  next  game  would  end  tournament  ~No.  1. 

Mr.  Thomas  and  I  were  the  contestants.  He  won  the  lead 
and  went  to  the  bat — so  to  speak.  And  there  he  stood,  with 
the  crotch  of  his  cue  resting  against  his  disk  while  the  ship 
rose  slowly  up,  sank  slowly  down,  rose  again,  sank  again.  She 
never  seemed  to  rise  to  suit  him  exactly.  She  started  up  once 
more;  and  when  she  was  nearly  ready  for  the  turn,  he  let 
drive  and  landed  his  disk  just  within  the  left-hand  end  of  the 


102 

Mrs.  D., 

57 

Mortimer, 

,  105 

The  Surgeon, 

92 

105 

Mrs.  T., 

9 

Clemens, 

101 

Taylor, 

92 

109 

Davies, 

95 

Miss  C, 

108 

Mortimer, 

55 

102 
106 

Roper, 
Cliase, 

76 
98 

Clemens, 

111 

Miss  C, 

89 

CHAMPION    OF  THE  PACIFIC.  71 

10.  (Applause).  The  umpire  proclaimed  "a  good  10,"  and 
the  game-keeper  set  it  down.  I  played :  my  disk  grazed  the 
edge  of  ^Nlr.  Thomas's  disk,  and  went  out  of  the  diagram.  (No 
applause.) 

Mr.  Thomas  played  again — and  landed  his  second  disk 
alongside  of  the  first,  and  almost  touching;  its  right-hand  side. 
"  Good  10."     i  ( Jreat  applause.) 

I  played,  and  missed  both  of  them.     (Xo  applause.) 

Mr.  Thomas  delivered  his  third  shot  and  landed  his  disk 
just  at  the  right  of  the  other  two.  "  Good  10."  (Immense 
applause.) 

There  they  lay,  side  by  side,  the  three  in  a  row.  It  did 
not  seem  possible  that  anybody  could  miss  them.  Still  I  did 
it.     (Immense  silence.) 

Mr.  Thomas  played  his  last  disk.  It  seems  incredible,  but 
he  actually  landed  that  disk  alongside  of  the  others,  and  just 
to  the  right  of  them  —  a  straight  solid'  row  of  ±  disks.  (Tu- 
multuous and  long-continued  applause.) 

Then  I  played  my  last  disk.  Again  it  did  not  seem  possible 
that  anybody  could  miss  that  row  —  a  row  which  would  have 
been  14  inches  long  if  the  disks  had  been  clamped  together; 
whereas,  with  the  spaces  separating  them  they  made  a  longer 
row  than  that.  But  I  did  it.  It  may  be  that  I  was  getting 
nervous. 

I  think  it  unlikely  that  that  innings  has  ever  had  its 
parallel  in  the  history  of  horse-billiards.  To  place  the  four 
disks  side  bv  side  in  the  10  was  an  extraordinary  feat ;  indeed, 
it  was  a  kind  of  miracle.  To  miss  them  was  another  miracle. 
It  will  take  a  century  to  produce  another  man  who  can  place 
the  four  disks  in  the  10;  and  longer  than  that  to  find  a  man 
who  can't  knock  them  out.  I  was  ashamed  of  my  performance 
at  the  time,  but  now  that  I  reflect  upon  it  I  see  that  it  was 
rather  fine  and  difficult. 


7-2 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


Mr.  Thomas  kept  his  luck,  and  won  the  game,  and  later  the 
championship. 

In  a  minor  tournament  I  won  the  prize,  which  was  a 
Waterbury  watch.  I  put  it  in  my  trunk.  In  Pretoria,  South 
Africa,  nine  months  afterward,  my  proper  watch  broke  down 
and  I  took  the  Waterbury  out,  wound  it,  set  it  by  the  great 
clock  on  the  Parliament  House  (8.05),  then  went  back  to  my 
room  and  went  to  bed,  tired  from  a  long  railway  journey. 
The  parliamentary  clock  had  a  peculiarity  which  I  was  not 
aware  of  at  the  time — a  peculiarity  which  exists  in  no  other 
clock,  and  would  not  exist  in  that  one  if  it  had  been  made 
by  a  sane  person ;  on  the  half-hour  it  strikes  the  succeeding 
hour,  then  strikes  the  hour  again  at  the  proper  time.  1 
lay  reading  and  smoking  awhile  ;  then,  when  I  could  hold  my 
eyes  open  no  longer  and  was  about  to  put  out  the  light,  the 
great  clock  began  to 
boom,  and  I  counted  — 


I    BEAT   HER   BRAINS   OUT. 


ten.  I  reached  for  the  Waterbury  to  see  how  it  was  getting 
along.  It  was  marking  9.30.  It  seemed  rather  poor  speed  for 
a   three-dollar    watch,  but    I    supposed    that    the  climate  was 


MY    PRIZE    WATCH.  73 

affecting  it.  I  shoved  it  half  an  hour  ahead,  and  took  to  my 
hook  and  waited  to  see  what  would  happen.  At  10  the  great 
clock  struck  ten  again.  T  looked  —  the  Waterbury  was  mark- 
ing half-past  10.  This  was  too  much  speed  for  the  money,  and 
it  troubled  me.  T  pushed  the  hands  back  a  half  hour,  and 
waited  once  more ;  I  had  to,  for  I  was  vexed  and  restless 
now,  and  my  sleepiness  was  gone.  By  and  by  the  great  clock 
struck  11.  The  Waterbury  was  marking  10.30.  1  pushed  it 
ahead  half  an  hour,  with  some  show  of  temper.  By  and  by 
the  great  clock  struck  11  again.  The  Waterbury  showed 
up  1  L.30,  now,  and  I  beat  her  brains  out  against  the  bedstead. 
I  was  sorry  next  day,  when  I  found  out, 

To  return  to  the  ship. 

The  average  human  being  is  a  perverse  creature;  and  when 
he  isn't  that,  he  is  a  practical  joker.  The  result  to  the  other 
person  concerned  is  about  the  same:  that  is,  he  is  made  to  suf- 
fer. The  washing  down  of  the  decks  begins  at  a  very  early 
hour  in  all  ships ;  in  but  few  ships  are  any  measures  taken  to 
protect  the  passengers,  either  by  waking  or  warning  them,  or 
by  sending  a  steward  to  close  their  ports.  And  so  the  deck- 
washers  have  their  opportunity,  and  they  use  it.  They  send  a 
bucket  of  water  slashing  along  the  side  of  the  ship  and  into 
the  ports,  drenching  the  passenger's  clothes,  and  often  the  pas- 
senger himself.  This  good  old  custom  prevailed  in  this  ship, 
and  under  unusually  favorable  circumstances,  for  in  the  blazing 
tropical  regions  a  removable  zinc  thing  like  a  sugar-shovel  pro- 
jects from  the  port  to  catch  the  wind  and  bring  it  in;  this 
thine:  catches  the  wash- water  and  brings  it  in,  too — and  in 
flooding  abundance.  Mrs.  I.,  an  invalid,  had  to  sleep  on  the 
locker-sofa  under  her  port,  and  every  time  she  over-slept  and 
thus  failed  to  take  care  of  herself,  the  deck-washers  drowned 
her  out, 

And  the  painters,  what  a  good  time  they  had!     This  ship 


74  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

would  be  going  into  dock  for  a  month  in  Sydney  for  repairs ; 
but  no  matter,  painting  was  going  on  all  the  time  somewhere 
or  other.  The  ladies'  dresses  were  constantly  getting  ruined, 
nevertheless  protests  and  supplications  went  for  nothing. 
Sometimes  a  lady,  taking  an  afternoon  nap  on  deck  near  a 
ventilator  or  some  other  thing  that  didn't  need  painting, 
would  wake  up  by  and  by  and  find  that  the  humorous  painter 
had  been  noiselessly  daubing  that  thing  and  had  splattered  her 
white  gown  all  over  with  little  greasy  yellow  spots. 

The  blame  for  this  untimely  painting  did  not  lie  with  the 
ship's  officers,  but  with  custom.  As  far  back  as  Koah's  time 
it  became  law  that  ships  must  be  constantly  painted  and  fussed 
at  when  at  sea;  custom  grew  out  of  the  law,  and  at  sea  custom 
knows  no  death ;  this  custom  will  continue  until  the  sea  goes 
dry. 


A    PAY    OFF. 


Sept.  S. — Sunday.  We  are  moving  so  nearly  south  that 
we  cross  only  about  two  meridians  of  lonoitude  a  dav.  This 
morning  we  were  in  longitude  178  west  from  Greenwich,  and 
57  degrees  west  from  San  Francisco.     To-morrow  we  shall  be 


A    DAY    LOST.  t:> 

close  to  the  center  of  the  globe  —  the   180th  degree  of  west 
longitude  and  180th  degree  of  east  longitude. 

And  then  we  must  drop  out  a  day-  -lose  a  day  out  of  our 
lives,  a  day  never  to  be  found  again.  We  shall  all  die  one  day 
earlier  than  from  the  beginning  of  time  we  were  foreordained 
to  die.  We  shall  be  a  day  behindhand  all  through  eternity. 
We  shall  always  be  saying;  to  the  other  angels,  "  Fine  day  to- 
day,"  and  they  will  be  always  retorting,  "  But  it  isn't  to-day, 
it's  to-morrow."  We  shall  be  in  a  state  of  confusion  all  the 
time  and  shall  never  know  what  true  happiness  is. 

Next  Day.  Sure1  enough,  it  has  happened.  Yesterday  it 
was  September  8,  Sunday;  to-day,  per  the  bulletin-board  at 
the  head  of  the  companionway,  it  is  September  1<>,  Tuesday. 
There  is  something  uncanny  about  it.  And  uncomfortable. 
In  fact,  nearly  unthinkable,  and  wholly  unrealizable,  when 
one  conies  to  consider  it.  While  we  were  crossing  the  180th 
meridian  it  was  Sunday  in  the  stern  of  the  ship  where  my 
family  were,  and  Tuesday  in  the  bow  where  I  was.  They 
were  there  eating  the  half  of  a  fresh  apple  on  the  8th,  and 
I  was  at  the  same  time  eating  the  other  half  of  it  on  the 
loth  -and  I  could  notice  how  stale  it  was,  already.  The 
family  were  the  same  age  that  thev  were  when  I  had  left 
them  five  minutes  before,  but  I  was  a  day  older  now  than 
I  was  then.  The  day  they  were  living  in  stretched  behind 
them  half  way  round  the  globe,  across  the  Pacific  Ocean 
and  America  and  Europe;  the  day  I  was  living  in  stretched 
in  front  of  me  around  the  other  half  to  meet  it.  They  were 
stupendous  days  for  bulk  and  stretch  ;  apparently  much  larger 
days  than  we  had  ever  been  in  before.  All  previous  days  had 
been  but  shrunk-up  little  things  by  comparison.  The  differ- 
ence in  temperature  between  the  two  days  was  very  marked, 
their  day  being  hotter  than  mine  because  it  was  closer  to  the 
equator. 


76  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

Along-  about  the  moment  that  we  were  crossing  the  Great 
Meridian  a  child  was  born  in  the  steerage,  and  now  there  is 
no  way  to  tell  which  day  it  was  born  on.  The  nurse  thinks 
it  was  Sunday,  the  surgeon  thinks  it  was  Tuesday.  The  child 
will  neyer  know  its  own  birthday.  It  will  always  be  choosing 
first  one  and  then  the  other,  and  will  never  be  able  to  make 
np  its  mind  permanently.  This  will  breed  vacillation  and  un- 
certainty in  its  opinions  about  religion,  and  politics,  and  busi- 
ness, arid  sweethearts,  and  everything,  and  will  undermine  its 
principles,  and  rot  them  away,  and  make  the  poor  thing 
characterless,  and  its  success  in  life  impossible.  Every  one 
in  the  ship  says  so.  And  this  is  not  all --in  fact,  not  the 
worst.  For  there  is  an  enormously  rich  brewer  in  the  ship 
who  said  as  much  as  ten  days  ago,  that  if  the  child  was  born 
on  his  birthday  he  would  give  it  ten  thousand  dollars  to 
start  its  little  life  with.  His  birthday  was  Monday,  the  9th 
of  September. 

If  the  ships  all  moved  in  the  one  direction-- westward, 
I  mean  —  the  world  would  suffer  a  prodigious  loss  in  the 
matter  of  valuable  time,  through  the  dumping  overboard  on 
the  Great  Meridian  of  such  multitudes  of  days  by  ships'  crews 
and  passengers.  But  fortunately  the  ships  do  not  all  sail 
west,  half  of  them  sail  east.  So  there  is  no  real  loss.  These 
latter  pick  up  all  the  discarded  days  and  add  them  to  the 
world's  stock  again;  and  about  as  good  as  new,  too;  for  of 
course  the  salt  water  preserves  them. 


CHAPTER  V. 

Noise  proves  nothing.     Often  a  hen  who  bas  merely  laid  au  egg  cackles  as  if 
she  bad  laid  an  asteroid. —  Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

WEDNESDAY,  Sept.  11.  \\\  this  world  we  often  make 
mistakes  of  judgment.  We  do  not  as  a  rule  get  out 
of  them  sound  and  whole,  but  sometimes  we  do.  At 
dinner  yesterday  evening  —  present,  a  mixture  of  Scotch,  Eng- 
lish. American,  Canadian,  and  Australasian  folk  —  a  discussion 
broke  out  about  the  pronunciation  of  certain  Scottish  words. 
This  was  private  ground,  and  the  non-Scotch  nationalities, 
with  one  exception,  discreetly  kept  still.  But  I  am  not 
discreet,  and  I  took  a  hand.  I  didn't  know  anything  about 
the  subject,  but  I  took  a  hand  just  to  have  something  to  do. 
At  that  moment  the  word  in  dispute  was  the  word  tltree. 
One  Scotchman  was  claiming  that  the  peasantry  of  Scotland 
pronounced  it  three,  his  adversaries  claimed  that  they  didn't — ■ 
that  they  pronounced  it  ihranjo.  The  solitary  Scot  was  having 
a  sultrv  time  of  it.  so  I  thought  I  would  enrich  him  with  mv 
help.  In  my  position  I  was  necessarily  quite  impartial,  and  was 
equally  as  well  and  as  ill  equipped  to  fight  on  the  one  side  as  on 
the  other.  So  I  spoke  up  and  said  the  peasantry  pronounced 
the  word  three,  not  thraw.  It  was  an  error  of  judgment. 
There  was  a  moment  of  astonished  and  ominous  silence,  then 
weather  ensued.  The  storm  rose  and  spread  in  a  surprising 
way,  and  I  was  snowed  under  in  a  very  few  minutes.  It  was 
a  bad  defeat  for  me  —  a  kind  of  Waterloo.  It  promised  to 
remain  so,  and  I  wished  I  had  had  better  sense  than  to  enter 
upon  such  a  forlorn  enterprise.      But  just  then  I  had  a  saving 

(77) 


7s  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

thought  —  at  least  a  thought  that  offered  a  chance.  "While  the 
storm  was  still  raging,  I  made  up  a  Scotch  couplet,  and  then 
spoke  up  and  said  :  - 

"  Very  well,  don't  say  any  more.  I  eon  less  defeat.  I 
thought  I  knew,  but  I  see  my  mistake.  I  was  deceived  by  one 
of  your  Scotch  poets." 

"A  Scotch  poet  !     0  come!     Name  him." 

"Robert  Burns." 

It  is  wonderful  the  power  of  that  name.  These  men  looked 
doubtful  -but  paralyzed,  all  the  same.  They  were  quite 
silent  for  a  moment;  then  one  of  them  said-- with  the  rever- 
ence in  his  voice  which  is  always  present  in  a  Scotchman's  tone 
when  he  utters  the  name  : 

"  Does  Robbie  Burns  sa  v  --  what  does  he  say  \  " 

"  This  is  what  he  says  : 

'  "There  were  nae  bairns  but  only  three  — 
Ane  at  the  breast,  twa  at  the  knee."  ' 

It  ended  the  discussion.  There  was  no  man  there  profane 
enough,  disloyal  enough,  to  say  any  word  against  a  thing 
which  Robert  Burns  had  settled.  I  shall  always  honor  that 
great  name  for  the  salvation  it  brought  me  in  this  time  of  my 
sore  need. 

It  is  my  belief  that  nearly  any  invented  quotation,  played 
with  confidence,  stands  a  good  chance  to  deceive.  There  are 
people  who  think  that  honesty  is  always  the  best  policy.  This 
is  a  superstition  ;  there  are  times  when  the  appearance  of  it  is 
worth  six  of  it. 

AVe  are  moving  steadily  southward  -getting  further  and 
further  down  under  the  projecting  paunch  of  the  globe.  Yes- 
terday evening  we  saw  the  Big  Dipper  and  the  north  star  sink 
below  the  horizon  and  disappear  from  our  world.  No,  not 
"we,"  but  thev.  They  saw  it  —  somebody  saw  it  —  and  told 
me  about  it.     But  it  is  no  matter,  I  was  not  caring  for  those 


SOUTHERN    CROSS.  70 

things,  I  am  tired  of  them,  any  way.     I  think  they  are  well 
enough,  but  one  doesn't  want  them  always  hanging'  around. 

©      "  «,  ©        © 

My  interest  was  all  in  the  Southern  Cross.  I  had  never  seen 
that.  I  had  heard  about  it  all  my  life,  and  it  was  but  natural 
that  I  should  be  burning  to  see  it.  No  other  constellation 
makes  so  much  talk.  I  had  nothing  against  the  Big  Dipper- 
and  naturally  couldn't  have  anything  against  it,  since  it  is  a 
citizen  of  our  own  sky,  and  the  property  of  the  United  States  - 
but  I  did  want  it  to  move  out  of  the  way  and  give  this 
foreigner  a  chance.  Judging  by  the  size  of  the  talk  which  the 
Southern  Cross  had  made,  I  supposed  it  would  need  a  sky  all 
to  itself. 

But  that  was  a  mistake.  We  saw  the  Cross  to-night,  and  it 
is  not  large.  Not  large,  and  not  strikingly  bright.  But  it  was 
low  down  toward  the  horizon,  and  it  may  improve  when  it  gets 
up  higher  in  the  sky.  It  is  ingeniously  named,  for  it  looks  just 
as  a  cross  would  look  if  it  looked  like  something  else.  But 
that  description  does  not  describe ;  it  is  too  vague,  too  general, 
too  indefinite.  It  does  after  a,  fashion  suggest  a  cross  —  a  cross 
that  is  out  of  repair  —  or  out  of  drawing  ;  not  correctly  shaped. 
It  is  long,  with  a  short  cross-bar,  and  the  cross-bar  is  canted 
out  of  the  straight  line. 

It  consists  of  four  large  stars  and 
one  little  one.  The  little  one  is  out 
of  line  and  further  damages  the  shape. 
It  should  have  been  placed  at  the  inter- 
section of  the  stem  and  the  cross-bar. 
If  you  do  not  draw  an  imaginary  line  from  star  to  star  it  does 
not  suggest  a  cross  —  nor  anything  in  particular. 

One  must  ignore  the  little  star,  and  leave  it  out  of  the  com- 
bination —  it  confuses  everything.  If  you  leave  it  out,  then  you 
can  make  out  of  the  four  stars  a  sort  of  cross  —  out  of  true ;  or 
a  sort  of  kite  —  out  of  true  ;  or  a  sort  of  coffin  — out  of  true. 


80 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


Constellations  have  always  been  troublesome  things  to 
name.  If  you  give  one  of  them  a  fanciful  name,  it  will  always 
refuse  to  live  up  to  it ;    it  will  always  persist  in  not  resembling 

the  thing  it  has  been  named 
for.  Ultimately,  to  satisfy 
the  public,  the  fanciful  name 
has  to  be  discarded  for  a  com- 
mon-sense one,  a  manifestly 
descriptive  one.  The  Great 
Bear  remained  the  Great  Bear 

—  and  unrecognizable  as  such 

—  for  thousands  of  years ;  and 
people  complained  about  it  all 
the  time,  and  quite  properly  ; 
but  as  soon  as  it  became  the 
property  of  the  United  States, 
Congress   changed   it   to  the 

SOUTHERN  CROSS.  t->-        -rx-  i 

Big  Dipper,  and  now  every- 
body is  satisfied,  and  there  is  no  more  talk  about  riots.  I 
would  not  change  the  Southern  Cross  to  the  Southern  Coffin, 
I  would  change  it  to  the  Southern  Kite  ;  for  up  there  in  the 
general  emptiness  is  the  proper  home  of  a  kite,  but  not  for 
coffins  and  crosses  and  dippers.  In  a  little  while,  now — I 
cannot  tell  exactly  how  long  it  will  be  —  the  globe  will  belong 
to  the  English-speaking  race ;  and  of  course  the  skies  also. 
Then  the  constellations  will  be  re-organized,  and  polished  up, 
and  re-named — the  most  of  them  "Victoria,"  I  reckon,  but 
this  one  will  sail  thereafter  as  the  Southern  Kite,  or  go  out  of 
business.  Several  towns  and  things,  here  and  there,  have  been 
named  for  Her  Majesty  already. 

In  these  past  few  days  we  are  plowing  through  a  mighty 
Milky  AVay  of  islands.  They  are  so  thick  on  the  map  that  one 
would  hardly  expect  to  find  room  between  them  for  a  canoe ; 


QUEENSLAND  RECRUITING  GROUND.  si 

yet  we  seldom  glimpse  one.  Once  we  saw  the  dim  bulk  of  a 
couple  of  them,  far  away,  spectral  and  dreamy  things ;  mem- 
bers of  the  Home  —  Alofa  and  Fortuna.  On  the  larger  one 
are  two  rival  native  kings  —  and  they  have  a  time  together. 
They  are  Catholics;  so  are  their  people.  The  missionaries 
there  are  French  priests. 

From  the  multitudinous  islands  in  these  regions  the  "  re- 
cruits "  for  the  Queensland  plantations  were  formerly  drawn ; 
are  still  drawn  from  them,  I  believe.  Vessels  fitted  up  like 
old-time  slavers  came  here  and  carried  off  the  natives  to  serve 
as  laborers  in  the  great  Australian  province.  In  the  beginning- 
it  was  plain,  simple  manstealing,  as  per  testimony  of  the  mis- 
sionaries. This  has  been  denied,  but  not  disproven.  After- 
ward it  was  forbidden  by  law  to  "recruit"  a  native  without 
his  consent,  and  governmental  agents  were  sent  in  all  recruiting 
vessels  to  see  that  the  law  was  obeyed  —  which  they  did, 
according  to  the  recruiting  people ;  and  which  they  sometimes 
didn't,  according  to  the  missionaries.  A  man  could  be  lawfully 
recruited  for  a  three-years  term  of  service ;  he  could  volunteer 
for  another  term  if  he  so  chose ;  when  his  time  was  up  he 
could  return  to  his  island.  And  would  also  have  the  means  to 
do  it ;  for  the  government  required  the  employer  to  put  money 
in  its  hands  for  this  purpose  before  the  recruit  was  delivered  to 
him. 

Captain  Wawn  was  a  recruiting  shipmaster  during  many 

years.      From  his  pleasant  book  one  gets  the  idea  that  the 

recruiting  business  was  quite  popular  with  the  islanders,  as  a 

rule.     And  yet  that  did  not  make  the  business  wholly  dull  and 

uninteresting ;  for  one  finds  rather  frequent  little  breaks  in  the 

monotony  of  it  —  like  this,  for  instance  : 

'The  afternoon  of  our  arrival  at  Leper  Island  the  schooner  was  lying 
almost  becalmed  under  the  lee  of  the  lofty  central  portion  of  the  island,  about 
three-quarters  of  a  mile  from  the  shore.     The  boats  were  in  sight  at  some  dis 
6 


82  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

tance.  The  recruiter-boat  had  run  into  a  small  nook  on  the  rocky  coast,  under 
a  high  bank,  above  which  stood  a  solitary  hut  backed  by  dense  forest.  The 
government  agent  and  mate  in  the  second  boat  lay  about  400  yards  to  the 
•westward. 

"Suddenly  we  heard  the  sound  of  firing,  followed  by  yells  from  the 
natives  on  shore,  and  then  we  saw  the  recruiter-boat  push  out  with  a  seem- 
ingly diminished  crew.  The  mate's  boat  pulled  quickly  up,  took  her  in  tow, 
and  presently  brought  her  alongside,  all  her  own  crew  being  more  or  less  hurt. 
It  seems  the  natives  had  called  them  into  the  place  on  pretence  of  friendship. 
A  crowd  gathered  about  the  stern  of  the  boat,  and  several  fellows  even  got 
into  her.  All  of  a  sudden  our  men  were  attacked  with  clubs  and  tomahawks. 
The  recruiter  escaped  the  first  blows  aimed  at  him,  making  play  with  his  fists 
until  he  had  an  opportunity  to  draw  his  revolver.  'Tom  Sayers,' a  Mare 
man,  received  a  tomahawk  blow  on  the  head  which  laid  the  scalp  open  but 
did  not  penetrate  his  skull,  fortunately.  '  Bobby  Towns,'  another  Mare  boat- 
man, had  both  his  thumbs  cut  in  warding  off  blows,  one  of  them  being  so 
nearly  severed  from  the  hand  that  the  doctors  had  to  finish  the  operation. 
Lihu,  a  Lifu  boy,  the  recruiter's  special  attendant,  was  cut  and  pricked  in 
various  places,  but  nowhere  seriously.  Jack,  an  unlucky  Tanna  recruit,  who 
had  been  engaged  to  act  as  boatman,  received  an  arrow  through  his  forearm, 
the  head  of  which  — a  piece  of  bone  seven  or  eight  inches  long  — was  still 
in  the  limb,  protruding  from  both  sides,  when  the  boats  returned.  The  re- 
cruiter himself  would  have  got  off  scot-free  had  not  an  arrow  pinned  one  of 
his  fingers  to  the  loom  of  the  steering-oar  just  as  they  were  getting  off.  The 
tight  had  been  short  but  sharp.     The  enemy  lost  two  men,  both  shot  dead." 

The  truth  is,  Captain  Wawn  furnishes  such  a  crowd  of 
instances  of  fatal  encounters  between  natives  and  French  and 
English  recruiting-crews  (for  the  French  are  in  the  business  for 
the  plantations  of  Xew  Caledonia),  that  one  is  almost  per- 
suaded that  recruiting  is  not  thoroughly  popular  among  the 
islanders ;  else  why  this  bristling  string  of  attacks  and  blood- 
curdling slaughter  \  The  captain  lays  it  all  to  "  Exeter  Hall 
influence."  But  for  the  meddling  philanthropists,  the  native 
fathers  and  mothers  would  be  fond  of  seeing  their  children 
carted  into  exile  and  now  and  then  the  grave,  instead  of  weep- 
ing about  it  and  trying  to  kill  the  kind  recruiters. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

He  was  as  shy  as  a  newspaper  is  when  referring  to  its  own  merits. 

—  Puddn'Jiead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

GAPTAIN  Wawn  is  crystal-clear  on  one  point:  He 
does  not  approve  of  missionaries.  They  obstruct  his 
business.  They  make  "Recruiting,"  as  he  calls  it 
("  Slave-Catching,"  as  they  call  it  in  their  frank  way)  a  trouble 
when  it  ought  to  be  just  a  picnic  and  a  pleasure  excursion. 
The  missionaries  have  their  opinion  about  the  manner  in  which 
the  Labor  Traffic  is  conducted,  and  about  the  recruiter's 
evasions  of  the  law  of  the  Traffic,  and  about  the  traffic  itself  : 
and  it  is  distinctly  uncomplimentary  to  the  Traffic  and  to 
everything  connected  with  it,  including  the  law  for  its  regula- 
tion. Captain  AVawn's  book  is  of  very  recent  date;  I  have  by 
me  a  pamphlet  of  still  later  date  —  hot  from  the  press,  in  fact 
—  by  Rev.  Win.  Gray,  a  missionary  ;  and  the  book  and  the 
pamphlet  taken  together  make  exceedingly  interesting  reading, 
to  my  mind. 

Interesting,  and  easy  to  understand  —  except  in  one  detail, 
which  I  will  mention  presently.  It  is  easy  to  understand  why 
the  Queensland  sugar  planter  should  want  the  Kanaka  recruit : 
he  is  cheap.  Very  cheap,  in  fact.  These  are  the  figures  paid 
by  the  planter :  £20  to  the  recruiter  for  getting  the  Kanaka  - 
or  "  catching  "  him,  as  the  missionary  phrase  goes  ;  £3  to  the 
Queensland  government  for  "  superintending  "  the  importation  ; 
£5  deposited  with  the  Government  for  the  Kanaka's  passage 
home  when  his  three  years  are  up,  in  case  he  shall  live  that 
long ;  about  £25  to  the  Kanaka  himself  for  three  years'  wages 

( 83 ) 


S4 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


and  clothing ;  total  payment  for  the  use  of  a  man  three  years, 
£53  ;  or,  including  diet,  £60.  Altogether,  a  hundred  dollars  a 
vear.     One  can  understand  why  the  recruiter  is  fond  of  the 


business ;  the  recruit 
cheap  presents 
cruit's  relatives,  not 
self),    and    the    re- 


costs  him  a  few 
(given  to  the  re- 
to  the  recruit  him- 
cruit  is  worth  £20 
to  the  recruiter 
when  delivered  in 
Queensland.  All 
this  is  clear  enough ; 
but  the  thing  that 
is  not  clear  is,  what 
there  is  about  it  all 
to  persuade  the  re- 
cruit. He  is  young 
and  brisk ;  life  at 
home  in  his  beauti- 
ful island  is  one 
lazy,  long  holiday 
to  him;  or  if  he 
wants  to  work  he 
can  turn  out  a  couple  of  bags  of  copra  per  week  and  sell  it  for 
four  or  five  shillings  a  bag.  In  Queensland  he  must  get  up 
at  dawn  and  work  from  eight  to  twelve  hours  a  day  in  the 
canefields  —  in  a  much  hotter  climate  than  he  is  used  to  —  and 
get  less  than  four  shillings  a  week  for  it. 

I  cannot  understand  his  willingness  to  go  to  Queensland. 
It  is  a  deep  puzzle  to  me.  Here  is  the  explanation,  from  the 
planter's  point  of  view ;  at  least  I  gather  from  the  missionary's 
pamphlet  that  it  is  the  planter's : 

"When  he  comes  from  his  home  he  is  a  savage,  pure  and  simple.  He 
feels  no  shame  at  his  nakedness  and  want  of  adornment.  When  he  returns 
home  he  does  so  well  dressed,  sporting  a  Waterbury  watch,  collars,  cuffs, 


V.  ,    rapt         v  ../•  «$sfA*W.v  ^■ 


vgz 


J'lffe 


IHE   KANAKAS    DEPAKTUHE. 


THE    KANAKA'S    OPPORTUNITY. 


85 


boots,  and  jewelry.  He  takes  with  him  one  or  more  boxes*  well  tilled  with 
clothing,  u  musical  instrument  or  two,  and  perfumery  and  other  articles  of 
luxury  he  has  learned  to  appreciate." 

For  just  one  moment    we  have  a  seeming  flash  of   com- 
prehension    of     the  ;-Q%" 


Kanaka's  reason  for 
exiling  himself :  he 
goes  away  to  acquire 
civilization.  Yes,  he 
was  naked  and  not 
ashamed,  now  he  is 
clothed  and  knows 
how  to  be  ashamed ; 
he  was  unenlightened, 
now  he  has  a  Water- 
bury  watch;  he  was 
unrefined,  now  he  has 
jewelry,  and  some- 
thing to  make  him 
smell  good  ;  he  was  a 
nobody,  a  provincial,  now  he  has  been  to  far  countries  and 
can  show  off. 

It  all  looks  plausible  —  for  a  moment.  Then  the  mission- 
ary takes  hold  of  this  explanation  and  pulls  it  to  pieces,  and 
dances  on  it,  and  damages  it  beyond  recognition. 

"Admitting  that  the  foregoing  description  is  the  average  one,  the 
average  sequel  is  this  :  The  cuffs  and  collars,  if  used  at  all,  are  carried 
off  by  youngsters,  who  fasten  them  round  the  leg,  just  below  the 
knee,  as  ornaments.  The  Waterbury,  broken  and  dirty,  finds  its  way  to  the 
trader,  who  gives  a  trifle  for  it  ;  or  the  inside  is  taken  out,  the  wheels  strung 
on  a  thread  and  hung  round  the  neck.  Knives,  axes,  calico,  and  handker- 
chiefs are  divided  among  friends,  and  there  is  hardly  one  of  these  apiece. 
The  boxes,  the  keys  often  lost  on  the  road  home,  can  be  bought  for  2s.  6d. 
They  are  to  be  seen  rotting  outside  in  almost  any  shore  village  on  Tanna.  (I 
speak  of  what  I  have  seen.)    A  returned  Kanaka  has  been  furiously  angry 


TUE   KANAKAS   RETURN. 


*"Box"  is  English  for  trunk. 


86  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

with  me  because  I  would  not  buy  his  trousers,  which  he  declared  were  just 
my  fit.  He  sold  them  afterwards  to  one  of  my  Aniwan  teachers  for  9d.  worth 
of  tobacco  — a  pair  of  trousers  that  probably  cost  him  8s.  or  10s.  in  Queens- 
land. A  coat  or  shirt  is  handy  for  cold  weather.  The  white  handkerchiefs, 
the  'senet'  (perfumery),  the  umbrella,  and  perhaps  the  hat,  are  kept.  The 
boots  have  to  take  their  chance,  if  they  do  not  happen  to  fit  the  copra  trader. 
'  Senet '  on  the  hair,  streaks  of  paint  on  the  face,  a  dirty  white  handkerchief 
round  the  neck,  strips  of  turtle  shell  in  the  ears,  a  belt,  a  sheath  and  knife, 
and  an  umbrella  constitute  the  rig  of  returned  Kanaka  at  home  the  dayafter 
landing." 

A  hat,  an  umbrella,  a  belt,  a  neckerchief.  Otherwise 
stark  naked.  All  in  a  day  the  hard-earned  "  civilization " 
has  melted  away  to  this.  And  even  these  perishable  things 
must  presently  go.  Indeed,  there  is  but  a  single  detail  of  his 
civilization  that  can  be  depended  on  to  stay  by  him  :  according 
to  the  missionary,  he  has  learned  to  swear.  This  is  art,  and 
art  is  long,  as  the  poet  says. 

In  all  countries  the  laws  throw  light  upon  the  past.  The 
Queensland  law  for  the  regulation  of  the  Labor  Traffic  is  a 
confession.  It  is  a  confession  that  the  evils  charged  by  the 
missionaries  upon  the  traffic  had  existed  in  the  past,  and  that 
they  still  existed  when  the  law  was  made.  The  missionaries 
make  a  further  charge :  that  the  law  is  evaded  by  the  re- 
cruiters, and  that  the  Government  Agent  sometimes  helps  them 
to  do  it.  Regulation  31  reveals  two  things  :  that  sometimes  a 
young  fool  of  a  recruit  gets  his  senses  back,  after  being  per- 
suaded to  sign  away  his  liberty  for  three  years,  and  dearly 
wants  to  get  out  of  the  engagement  and  sta}^  at  home  with  his 
own  people ;  and  that  threats,  intimidation,  and  force  are  used 
to  keep  him  on  board  the  recruiting-ship,  and  to  hold  him  to 
his  contract.  Regulation  31  forbids  these  coercions.  The  law 
requires  that  he  shall  be  allowed  to  go  free ;  and  another 
clause  of  it  requires  the  recruiter  to  set  him  ashore  —  per  boat, 
because  of  the  prevalence  of  sharks.  Testimony  from  Rev. 
Mr.  Gray  : 

"There  are  '  wrinkles' for  taking  the  penitent  Kanaka.      My  first  ex- 


"WRINKLES."  87 

perience  of  the  Traffic  was  a  case  of  this  kind  in  1884.  A  vessel  anchored 
just  out  of  sight  of  our  station,  word  was  brought  to  me  that  some  boys  were 
stolen,  and  the  relatives  wished  me  to  go  and  get  them  back.  The  facts  were, 
as  I  found,  that  six  boys  had  recruited,  had  rushed  into  the  boat,  the  Govern- 
ment Agent  informed  me.  They  had  all  '  signed  '  ;  and,  said  the  Government 
Agent,  'on  board  they  shall  remain.'  I  was  assured  that  the  six  boys  were 
of  age  and  willing  to  go.  Yet  on  getting  ready  to  leave  the  ship  I  found  four 
of  the  lads  ready  to  come  ashore  in  the  boat !  This  I  forbade.  One  of  them 
jumped  into  the  water  and  persisted  in  coming  ashore  in  my  boat.  When 
appealed  to,  the  Government  Agent  suggested  that  we  go  and  leave  him  to 
be  picked  up  by  the  ship's  boat,  a  quarter  mile  distant  at  the  time  !  " 

The  law  and  the  missionaries  feel  for  the  repentant  recruit 
-  and  properly,  one  may  be  permitted  to  think,  for  he  is  only 
a  youth  and  ignorant  and  persuadable  to  his  hurt — but  sym- 
pathy for  him  is  not  kept  in  stock  by  the  recruiter.      Rev.  Mr. 
Gray  savs: 

"  A  captain  many  years  in  the  traffic  explained  to  me  how  a  penitent  could 
be  taken.  '  When  a  boy  jumps  overboard  we  just  take  a  boat  and  pull  ahead 
of  him,  then  lie  between  him  and  the  shore.  If  he  has  not  tired  himself 
swimming,  and  passes  the  boat,  keep  on  heading  him  in  this  wTay.  The  dodge 
rarely  fails.  The  boy  generally  tires  of  swimming,  gets  into  the  boat  of  his 
own  accord,  and  goes  quietly  on  board." 

Yes,  exhaustion  is  likely  to  make  a  boy  quiet.  If  the  dis- 
tressed boy  had  been  the  speaker's  son,  and  the  captors  savages, 
the  speaker  would  have  been  surprised  to  see  how  differently 
the  thing  looked  from  the  new  point  of  view ;  however,  it  is 
not  our  custom  to  put  ourselves  in  the  other  person's  place. 
Somehow  there  is  something  pathetic  about  that  disappointed 
young  savage's  resignation.  I  must  explain,  here,  that  in  the 
traffic  dialect,  "boy"  does  not  always  mean  boy;  it  means  a 
youth  above  sixteen  years  of  age.  That  is  by  Queensland  law 
the  age  of  consent,  though  it  is  held  that  recruiters  allow  them- 
selves some  latitude  in  guessing  at  ages. 

Captain  Wawn  of  the  free  spirit  chafes  under  the  annoy- 
ance of  "cast-iron  regulations."  They  and  the  missionaries 
have  poisoned  his  life.  He  grieves  for  the  good  old  days,  van- 
ished to  come  no  more.  See  him  weep ;  hear  him  cuss  between 
the  lines! 


88  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

"  For  a  long  time  we  were  allowed  to  apprehend  and  detain  all  deserters 
who  had  signed  the  agreement  on  board  ship,  but  the  '  cast-iron  '  regulations 
of  the  Act  of  1884  put  a  stop  to  that,  allowing  the  Kanaka  to  sign  the  agree- 
ment for  three  years'  service,  travel  about  in  the  ship  in  receipt  of  the  regular 
rations,  cadge  all  he  could,  and  leave  when  he  thought  fit,  so  long  as  he  did 
not  extend  his  pleasure  trip  to  Queensland." 

Kev.  Mr.  Gray  calls  this  same  restrictive  cast-iron  law  a 
"farce."  "There  is  as  much  cruelty  and  injustice  done  to 
natives  by  acts  that  are  legal  as  by  deeds  unlawful.  The  regu- 
lations that  exist  are  unjust  and  inadequate  —  unjust  and  in- 
adequate they  must  ever  be."  He  furnishes  his  reasons  for  his 
position,  but  they  are  too  long  for  reproduction  here. 

However,  if  the  most  a  Kanaka  advantages  himself  by  a 
three-years  course  in  civilization  in  Queensland,  is  a  necklace 
and  an  umbrella  and  a  showy  imperfection  in  the  art  of  swear- 
ing, it  must  be  that  all  the  profit  of  the  traffic  goes  to  the  white 
man.  This  could  be  twisted  into  a  plausible  argument  that  the 
traffic  ought  to  be  squarely  abolished. 

However,  there  is  reason  for  hope  that  that  can  be  left  alone 
to  achieve  itself.  It  is  claimed  that  the  traffic  will  depopulate 
its  sources  of  supply  within  the  next  twenty  or  thirty  years. 
Queensland  is  a  very  healthy  place  for  white  people  —  death- 
rate  12  in  1,000  of  the  population  —  but  the  Kanaka  death-rate 
is  away  above  that.  The  vital  statistics  for  1893  place  it  at  52  ; 
for  1891  (Mackay  district),  68.  The  first  six  months  of  the 
Kanaka's  exile  are  peculiarly  perilous  for  him  because  of  the 
rigors  of  the  new  climate.  The  death-rate  among  the  new  men 
has  reached  as  high  as  180  in  the  1,000.  In  the  Kanaka's 
native  home  his  death-rate  is  12  in  time  of  peace,  and  15  in  time 
of  war.  Thus  exile  to  Queensland  —  with  the  opportunity  to 
acquire  civilization,  an  umbrella,  and  a  pretty  poor  quality  of 
profanity  -  -  is  twelve  times  as  deadly  for  him  as  war.  Com- 
mon Christian  charity,  common  humanity,  does  seem  to  require, 
not  only  that  these  people  be  returned  to  their  homes,  but  that 


PROPHECY   A   RISKY   BUSINESS.  89 

war,  pestilence,  and  famine  be  introduced  among  them  for  their 
preservation. 

Concerning  these  Pacific  isles  and  their  peoples  an  eloquent 
prophet  spoke  long  years  ago  —  five  and  fifty  years  ago.  In 
fact,  he  spoke  a  little  too  early.  Prophecy  is  a  good  line  of 
business,  but  it  is  full  of  risks.  This  prophet  was  the  Right 
Rev.  M.  Russell,  LL.D.,  D.C.L.,  of  Edinburgh  : 

"  Is  the  tide  of  civilization  to  roll  only  to  the  foot  of  the  Rocky  Mountains, 
and  is  the  sun  of  knowledge  to  set  at  last  in  the  waves  of  the  Pacific  ?  No  ; 
the  mighty  day  of  four  thousand  years  is  drawing  to  its  close  ;  the  sun  of 
humanity  has  performed  its  destined  course  ;  but  long  ere  its  setting  rays  are 
extinguished  in  the  west,  its  ascending  beams  have  glittered  on  the  isles  of 
the  eastern  seas.  .  .  .  And  now  we  see  the  race  of  Japhet  setting  forth 
to  people  the  isles,  and  the  seeds  of  another  Europe  and  a  second  England 
sown  in  the  regions  of  the  sun.  But  mark  the  words  of  the  prophecy  :  '  He 
shall  dwell  in  the  tents  of  Shem,  and  Canaan  shall  be  his  servant.'  It  is  not 
said  Canaan  shall  be  his  slave.  To  the  Anglo-Saxon  race  is  given  the  scepter  of 
the  globe,  but  there  is  not  given  either  the  lash  of  the  slave-driver  or  the  rack 
of  the  executioner.  The  East  will  not  be  stained  with  the  same  atrocities 
as  the  West ;  the  frightful  gangrene  of  an  enthralled  race  is  not  to  mar  the 
destinies  of  the  family  of  Japhet  in  the  Oriental  world  ;  humanizing,  not 
destroying,  as  they  advance  ;  uniting  with,  not  enslaving,  the  inhabitants 
with  whom  they  dwell,  the  British  race  may,"  etc.,  etc. 

And  he  closes  his  vision  with  an  invocation  from  Thomson: 

"  Come,  bright  Improvement  !  on  the  car  of  Time, 
And  rule  the  spacious  world  from  clime  to  clime." 

Very  well,  Bright  Improvement  has  arrived,  you  see,  with 
her  civilization,  and  her  Waterbury,  and  her  umbrella,  and  her 
third-quality  profanity,  and  her  humanizing-not-destroying  ma- 
chinery, and  her  hundred-and-eighty-death-rate,  and  every  thing- 
is  going  along  just  as  handsome  ! 

But  the  prophet  that  speaks  last  has  an  advantage  over  the 
pioneer  in  the  business.     Rev.  Mr.  Gray  says : 

"  What  I  am  concerned  about  is  that  we  as  a  Christian  nation  should  wipe 
out  these  races  to  enrich  ourselves." 

And  he  closes  his  pamphlet  with  a  grim  Indictment  which 

is  as  eloquent  in  its  flowerless  straightforward  English  as  is  the 

hand-painted  rhapsody  of  the  early  prophet : 

"  My  indictment  of  the  Queensland-Kanaka  Labor  Traffic  is  this  : 


90 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


"1.  It  generally  demoralizes  and  always  impoverishes  the  Kanaka,  de- 
prives him  of  his  citizenship,  and  depopulates  the  islands  fitted  to  his  home. 

"2.  It  is  felt  to  lower  the  dignity  of  the  white  agricultural  laborer  in 
Queensland,  and  beyond  a  doubt  it  lowers  his  wages  there. 

"  3.  The  whole  system  is  fraught  with  danger  to  Australia  and  the  islands 
on  the  score  of  health. 

"4.  On  social  and  political  grounds  the  continuance  of  the  Queensland- 
Kanaka  Labor  Traffic  must  be  a  barrier  to  the  true  federation  of  the  Aus- 
tralian colonies. 

"5.  The  Regulations  under  which  the  Traffic  exists  in  Queensland  are 
inadequate  to  prevent  abuses,  and  in  the  nature  of  things  they  must  re- 
main so. 

"  6.  The  whole  system  is  contrary  to  the  spirit  and  doctrine  of  the  Gospel 
of  Jesus  Christ.  The  Gospel  requires  us  to  help  the  weak,  but  the  Kanaka  is 
fleeced  and  trodden  down. 

"7.  The  bed-rock  of  this  Traffic  is  that  the  life  and  liberty  of  a  black 
man  are  of  less  value  than  those  of  a  white  man.  And  a  Traffic  that  has 
grown  out  of  '  slave-hunting '  will  certainly  remain  to  the  end  not  unlike  its 
origin." 


CHAPTER   VII. 

Truth  is  the  most  valuable  thing  we  have.     Let  us  economize  it. 

—PudiVnhead   Wilson's  Nt  w  <  'ah  ndar. 

rROM  Diary:- -For  a  day  or  two  we  have  been  plow- 
ing among  an  invisible  vast  wilderness  of  islands, 
catching  now  and  then  a  shadowy  glimpse  of  a  mem- 
ber of  it.  There  does  seem  to  be  a  prodigious  lot  of  islands 
this  year;  the  map  of  this  region  is  freckled  and  fly-specked 
all  over  with  them.  Their  number  would  seem  to  be  un- 
countable. We  are  moving  among  the  Fijis  now  —  224  islands 
and  islets  in  the  group.  In  front  of  us.  to  the  west,  the  wilder- 
ness stretches  toward  Australia,  then  curves  upward  to  New 
Guinea,  and  still  up  and  up  to  Japan;  behind  us,  to  the  east, 
the  wilderness  stretches  sixty  degrees  across  the  wastes  of  the 
Pacific;  south  of  us  is  Xew  Zealand.  Somewhere  or  other 
among  these  myriads  Samoa  is  concealed,  and  not  discoverable 
on  the  map.  Still,  if  you  wish  to  go  there,  you  will  have  no 
trouble  about  finding  it  if  vou  follow  the  directions  given  bv 
Robert  Louis  Stevenson  to  Dr.  Conan  Doyle  and  to  Mr.  J.  M. 
Barrie.  "  Vou  go  to  America,  cross  the  continent  to  San 
Francisco,  and  then  it's  the  second  turning  to  the  left."  To 
get  the  full  flavor  of  the  joke  one  must  take  a  glance  at 
the  map. 

Wednesday,  September  11. —  Yesterday  we  passed  close  to 
an  island  or  so,  and  recognized  the  published  Fiji  character- 
istics :  a  broad  belt  of  clean  white  coral  sand  around  the 
island ;  back  of  it  a  graceful  fringe  of  leaning  palms,  with 
native    huts    nestling    cosily   among  the    shrubbery   at    their 

( 91 ) 


92  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

bases ;  back  of  these  a  stretch  of  level  land  clothed  in  tropic 
vegetation ;  back  of  that,  rugged  and  picturesque  mountains. 
A  detail  of  the  immediate  foreground :  a  mouldering  ship 
perched  high  up  on  a  reef-bench.  This  completes  the  com- 
position, and  makes  the  picture  artistically  perfect. 

In  the  afternoon  we  sighted  Suva,  the  capital  of  the  group, 
and  threaded  our  way  into  the  secluded  little  harbor — a  placid 
basin  of  brilliant  blue  and  green  water  tucked  snugly  in 
among  the  sheltering  hills.  A  few  ships  rode  at  anchor  in 
it — one  of  them  a   sailing  vessel  flying  the  American  flag; 


SUVA. 


and  they  said  she  came  from  Duluth!  There's  a  journey! 
Duluth  is  several  thousand  miles  from  the  sea,  and  yet  she 
is  entitled  to  the  proud  name  of  Mistress  of  the  Commercial 
Marine  of  the  United  States  of  America,  There  is  only  one 
free,  independent,  unsubsidized  American  ship  sailing  the  for- 
eign seas,  and  Duluth  owns  it.  All  by  itself  that  ship  is 
the  American  fleet.  All  by  itself  it  causes  the  American  name 
and  power  to  be  respected  in  the  far  regions  of  the  globe.  All 
by  itself  it  certifies  to  the  world  that  the  most  populous  civil- 
ized nation  in  the  earth  has  a  just  pride  in  her  stupendous 


THE   FIJIANS. 


93 


stretch  of  sea-front,  and  is  determined  to  assert  and  maintain 
her  rightful  place  as  one  of  the  Great  Maritime  Powers  of  the 
Planet.  All  by  itself  it  is  making  foreign  eyes  familiar  with  a 
Flag  which  they  have  not  seen  before  for  forty  years,  outside 
of  the  museum.  For  what  Duluth  has  done,  in  building, 
equipping,  and  maintaining  at  her  sole  expense  the  American; 
Foreign  Commercial  Fleet,  and  in  thus  rescuing  the  American 
name  from  shame  and  lifting  it  high  for  the  homage  of  the 
nations,  we  owe  her  a  debt  of  gratitude  which  our  hearts  shall 
confess  with  quickened  beats  whenever  her  name  is  named 
henceforth.  Many  national  toasts  will  die  in  the  lapse  of  time, 
but  while  the  flag  flies  and  the  Republic  survives,  they  who 
live  under  their  shelter  will  still  drink  this  one,  standing  and 
uncovered  :  Health  and  prosperity  to  Thee,  0  Duluth,  Ameri- 
can Queen  of  the  Alien  Seas ! 

Row-boats  began  to  flock  from  the  shore ;  their  crews 
were  the  first  natives  we  had  seen.  These  men  carried  no 
overplus  of 
clothing,  and 
this  was 
Avise,  for  the 
weather  was 
hot,  Hand- 
some, great 
dusk  y  men 
they  w ere, 
m  uscula  r, 
clean-limb- 
ed, and  with 
faces  full  of 

character  and   intelligence.     It  would  be  hard   to   find  their 
superiors  anywhere  among  the  dark  races,  I  should  think. 

Everybody  went  ashore  to  look  around,  and  spy  out  the 


BOATS  CAME  PROM  THE  SHORE. 


<»4  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

land,  and  have  that  luxury  of   luxuries  to  sea-voyagers — a 

land-dinner.  And  there  we  saw  more 
natives :  Wrinkled  old  women,  with  their 
flat  mammals  flung  over  their  shoulders, 
or  hanging  down  in  front  like  the  cold- 
weather  drip  from  the  molasses-faucet; 
plump  and  smily  young  girls,  blithe  and 
content,  easy  and  graceful,  a  pleasure  to 
look  at ;  young  matrons,  tall,  straight, 
comely,  nobly  built,  sweeping  by  with 
in  town.  chin   up,  and   a   gait   incomparable   for 

unconscious 

stateliness 

and    dignity ; 

majestic 

voun"-  men  — 

athletes   for 

build     and 

muscle  — 

clothed    in    a 

loose  arrange- 
ment   of    daz-  NATIVES. 

zling  white,  with  bronze  breast  and  bronze  legs 
naked,  and  the  head  a  cannon-swab  of  solid  hair 
combed  straight  out  from  the  skull  and  dyed  a  rich 
brick-red.  Onlv  sixty  vears  ago  thev  were  sunk 
in  darkness ;  now  thev  have  the  bicvcle. 

We  strolled  about  the  streets  of  the  white  folks' 
little  town,  and  around  over  the  hills  by  paths  and 
roads  among  European  dwellings  and  gardens  and 
plantations,  and  past  clumps  of  hibiscus  that  made 
a  body  blink,  the  great  blossoms  were  so  intensely 

red;   and  by  and   by  we  stopped  to  ask  an  elderly  English 


OUT 

OF   TOWN. 


DECEPTIVE   WEATHER, 


95 


It  brought  on  an- 


colonist  a  question  or  two,  and  to  sympathize  with  him  con- 
concerning  the  torrid  weather;  but  he  was  surprised,  and  said  : 

"This?  This  is  not  hot.  You  ought  to  be  here  in  the 
summer  time  once." 

"We  supposed  that  this  was  summer;  it  has  the  ear-marks 
of  it.  You -could  take  it  to  almost  any  country  and  deceive 
people  with  it.     But  if  it  isn't  summer,  what  does  it  lack  \  " 

"It  lacks  half  a  year.     This  is  mid-winter." 

I  had  been  suffering  from  colds  for  several  months,  and  a 
sudden  change  of  season,  like  this,  could  hardly  fail  to  do 
me  hurt, 
other  cold. 


It  is  odd,  these 
sudden  jumps  from  season  to 
season.  A  fortnight  a*>-o  we 
left  America  in  mid-summer, 
now  it  is  mid-winter  ;  about  a 
week  hence  we  shall  arrive 
in  Australia  in  the  spring. 

After  dinner  I  found  in 
the  billiard-room  a  resident 
whom  I  had  known  some- 
where else  in  the  world,  and 
presently  made  some  new 
friends  and  drove  with  them 
out  into  the  countrv  to  visit 


THE   RIGORS   OF   WINTER. 


his  Excellency  the  head  of  the  State,  who  was  occupying  his 
country  residence,  to  escape  the  rigors  of  the  winter  weather, 
I  suppose,  for  it  was  on  breezy  high  ground  and  much  more 
comfortable  than  the  lower  regions,  where  the  town  is,  and 
where  the  winter  has  full  swing,  and  often  sets  a  person's 
hair  afire  when  he  takes  off  his  hat  to  bow.  There  is  a 
noble  and  beautiful  view  of  ocean  and  islands  and  castellated 
peaks  from  the  governor's  high-placed  house,  and  its  immediate 


96  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

surroundings  lie  drowsing  in  that  dreamy  repose  and  serenity 
which  are  the  charm  of  life  in  the  Pacific  Islands. 

One  of  the  new  friends  who  went  out  there  with  me  was 
a  large  man,  and  I  had  been  admiring  his  size  all  the  way.  I 
was  still  admiring  it  as  he  stood  by  the  governor  on  the 
veranda,  talking ;  then  the  Fijian  butler  stepped  out  there  to 
announce  tea,  and  dwarfed  him.  Maybe  he  did  not  quite 
dwarf  him,  but  at  any  rate  the  contrast  was  quite  striking. 
Perhaps  that  dark  giant  was  a  king  in  a  condition  of  political 
suspension.  I  think  that  in  the  talk  there  on  the  veranda  it 
was  said  that  in  Fiji,  as  in  the  Sandwich  Islands,  native  kings 
and  chiefs  are  of  much  grander  size  and  build  than  the  com- 
moners. This  man  was  clothed  in  flowing  white  vestments, 
and  they  were  just  the  thing  for  him ;  they  comported  well 
with  his  great  stature  and  his  kingly  port  and  dignity. 
European  clothes  would  have  degraded  him  and  made  him 
commonplace.  I  know  that,  because  they  do  that  with  every- 
body that  wears  them. 

It  was  said  that  the  old-time  devotion  to  chiefs  and  rever- 
ence for  their  persons  still  survive  in  the  native  commoner,  and 
in  great  force.  The  educated  young  gentleman  who  is  chief  of 
the  tribe  that  live  in  the  region  about  the  capital  dresses  in  the 
fashion  of  high-class  European  gentlemen,  but  even  his  clothes 
cannot  damn  him  in  the  reverence  of  his  people.  Their  pride 
in  his  lofty  rank  and  ancient  lineage  lives  on,  in  spite  of  his  lost 
authority  and  the  evil  magic  of  his  tailor.  He  has  no  need  to 
defile  himself  with  work,  or  trouble  his  heart  with  the  sordid 
cares  of  life ;  the  tribe  will  see  to  it  that  he  shall  not  want, 
and  that  he  shall  hold  up  his  head  and  live  like  a  gentleman. 
I  had  a  glimpse  of  him  down  in  the  town.  Perhaps  he  is  a 
descendant  of  the  last  king  —  the  king  with  the  difficult  name 
whose  memory  is  preserved  by  a  notable  monument  of  cut- 
stone  which  one  sees  in  the  enclosure  in  the  middle  of  the  town. 


A    FORMALITY   WITH   A   DIFFERENCE.  97 

Thakombau —  I   remember,    now;    that   is   the   name.     It   is 
easier  to  preserve  it  on  a  granite  block  than  in  your  head. 

Fiji  was  ceded  to  England  by  this  king  in  1858.  One  of  the 
gentlemen  present  at  the  governor's  quoted  a  remark  made  by 
the  king  at  the  time  of  the  session  —  a  neat  retort,  and  with 
a  touch  of  pathos  in  it,  too.  The  English  Commissioner  had 
offered  a  crumb  of  comfort  to  Thakombau  by  saying  that  the 
transfer  of  the  kingdom  to  Great  Britain  was  merely  "  a  sort 
of  hermit-crab  formality,  you  know/'  "  Yes,"  said  poor 
Thakombau,  "  but  with  this  difference  —  the  crab  moves  into 
an  unoccupied  shell,  but  mine  isn't." 

However,  as  far  as  I  can  make  out  from  the  books,  the 
King  was  between  the  devil  and  the  deep  sea  at  the  time,  and 
hadn't  much  choice.  He  owed  the  United  States  a  large  debt 
—  a  debt  which  he  could  pay  if  allowed  time,  but  time  was  de- 
nied him.  He  must  pay  up  right  away  or  the  warships  would 
be  upon  him.  To  protect  his  people  from  this  disaster  he 
ceded  his  country  to  Britain,  with  a  clause  in  the  contract 
providing  for  the  ultimate  payment  of  the  American  debt. 

In  old  times  the  Fijians  were  fierce  fighters ;  they  were 
very  religious,  and  worshiped  idols ;  the  big  chiefs  were  proud 
and  haughty,  and  they  were  men  of  great  style  in  many  ways ; 
all  chiefs  had  several  wives,  the  biggest  chiefs  sometimes  had 
as  many  as  fifty ;  when  a  chief  was  dead  and  readv  for  burial, 
four  or  five  of  his  wives  were  strangled  and  put  into  the  grave 
with  him.  In  1804  twenty-seven  British  convicts  escaped 
from  Australia  to  Fiji,  and  brought  guns  and  ammunition  with 
them.  Consider  what  a  power  they  were,  armed  like  that,  and 
what  an  opportunity  they  had.  If  they  had  been  energetic 
men  and  sober,  and  had  had  brains  and  known  how  to  use  them, 
they  could  have  achieved  the  sovereignty  of  the  archipelago  - 
twentv-seven  king's  and  each  with  eight  or  nine  islands  under 


98  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

his  scepter.  But  nothing  came  of  this  chance.  They  lived 
worthless  lives  of  sin  and  luxury,  and  died  without  honor  —  in 
most  cases  by  violence.  Only  one  of  them  had  any  ambition ;  he 
was  an  Irishman  named  Connor.  He  tried  to  raise  a  family  of 
fifty  children,  and  scored  forty-eight.  He  died  lamenting  his 
failure.  It  was  a  foolish  sort  of  avarice.  Many  a  father  would 
have  been  rich  enough  with  forty. 

It  is  a  fine  race,  the  Fijians,  with  brains  in  their  heads, 
and  an  inquiring  turn  of  mind.  It  appears  that  their  savage 
ancestors  had  a  doctrine  of  immortality  in  their  scheme  of 
religion  -  -  with  limitations.  That  is  to  sav,  their  dead  friend 
would  go  to  a  happy  hereafter  if  he  could  be  accumulated, 
but  not  otherwise.  They  drew  the  line ;  they  thought  that 
the  missionary's  doctrine  was  too  sweeping,  too  comprehensive. 
They  called  his  attention  to  certain  facts.  For  instance, 
many  of  their  friends  had  been  devoured  by  sharks ;  the 
sharks,  in  their  turn,  were  caught  and  eaten  by  other  men  ; 
later,  these  men  were  captured  in  war,  and  eaten  by  the  enemy. 
The  original  persons  had  entered  into  the  composition  of  the 
sharks ;  next,  they  and  the  sharks  had  become  part  of  the 
flesh  and  blood  and  bone  of  the  cannibals.  How,  then,  could 
the  particles  of  the  original  men  be  searched  out  from  the 
final  conglomerate  and  put  together  again  ?  The  inquirers 
were  full  of  doubts,  and  considered  that  the  missionary  had 
not  examined  the  matter  with  the  gravity  and  attention  which 
so  serious  a  thing  deserved. 

The  missionary  taught  these  exacting  savages  many  valu- 
able things,  and  got  from  them  one  —  a  very  dainty  and  poetical 
idea :  Those  wild  and  ignorant  poor  children  of  Nature  believed 
that  the  flowers,  after  they  perish,  rise  on  the  winds  and  float 
awav  to  the  fair  fields  of  heaven,  and  flourish  there  forever  in 
immortal  beauty  ! 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

It  could  probably  be  shown  by  facts  and  figures  that  there  is  no  distinctly 
native  American  criminal  class  except  Congress. 

—  PudcVnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

VIIEX  one  glances  at  the  map  the  members  of  the  stu- 
pendous island  wilderness  of  the  Pacific  seem  to 
crowd  upon  each  other ;  but  no,  there  is  no  crowd- 
ing, even  in  the  center  of  a  group ;  and  between  groups  there 
are  lonelv  wide  deserts  of  sea.  Not  everything;  is  known 
about  the  islands,  their  peoples  and  their  languages.  A  start- 
ling reminder  of  this  is  furnished  by  the  fact  that  in  Fiji, 
twenty  years  ago,  were  living  two  strange  and  solitary  beings 
who  came  from  an  unknown  country  and  spoke  an  unknown 
language.  "They  were  picked  up  by  a  passing  vessel  many 
hundreds  of  miles  from  any  known  land,  floating  in  the  same 
tiny  canoe  in  which  they  had  been  blown  out  to  sea.  When 
found  they  were  but  skin  and  bone.  No  one  could  understand 
what  thev  said,  and  they  have  never  named  their  country  ;  or, 
if  they  have,  the  name  does  not  correspond  with  that  of  any 
island  on  an}T  chart.  They  are  now  fat  and  sleek,  and  as 
happy  as  the  day  is  long.  In  the  ship's  log  there  is  an  entry 
of  the  latitude  and  longitude  in  which  they  were  found,  and 
this  is  probably  all  the  clue  they  will  ever  have  to  their  lost 
homes."  * 

What  a  strange  and  romantic  episode  it  is;  and  how  one  is 
tortured  with  curiosity  to  know  whence  those  mysterious 
creatures  came,  those  Men  Without  a  Country,  errant  waifs 


*  Forbes's  "  Two  Years  in  Fiji."' 

(99) 


100  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

who  cannot  name  their  lost  home,  wandering  Children  of 
IS' o  where. 

Indeed,  the  Island  Wilderness  is  the  very  home  of  romance 
and  dreams  and  mystery.  The  loneliness,  the  solemnity,  the 
beauty,  and  the  deep  repose  of  this  wilderness  have  a  charm 
which  is  all  their  own  for  the  bruised  spirit  of  men  who  have 
fought  and  failed  in  the  struggle  for  life  in  the  great  world ; 
and  for  men  who  have  been  hunted  out  of  the  great  world  for 
crime ;  and  for  other  men  who  love  an  easy  and  indolent  ex- 
istence ;  and  for  others  who  love  a  roving  free  life,  and  stir 
and  change  and  adventure ;  and  for  yet  others  who  love  an 
easy  and  comfortable  career  of  trading  and  money-getting, 
mixed  with  plenty  of  loose  matrimony  by  purchase,  divorce 
without  trial  or  expense,  and  limitless  spreeing  thrown  in  to 
make  life  ideally  perfect. 

We  sailed  again,  refreshed. 

The  most  cultivated  person  in  the  ship  was  a  young  English, 
man  whose  home  was  in  ISTew  Zealand.  He  was  a  naturalist. 
His  learning  in  his  specialty  was  deep  and  thorough,  his  inter- 
est in  his  subject  amounted  to  a  passion,  he  had  an  easy  gift  of 
speech  ;  and  so,  when  he  talked  about  animals  it  was  a  pleasure 
to  listen  to  him.  And  profitable,  too,  though  he  was  some- 
times difficult  to  understand  because  now  and  then  he  used 
scientific  technicalities  which  were  above  the  reach  of  some  of 
us.  They  were  pretty  sure  to  be  above  my  reach,  but  as  he 
was  quite  willing  to  explain  them  I  always  made  it  a  point  to 
get  him  to  do  it.  I  had  a  fair  knowledge  of  his  subject  —  lay- 
man's knowledge— to  begin  with,  but  it  was  his  teachings 
which  crvstalized  it  into  scientific  form  and  clarity-- in  a  word, 
gave  it  value. 

His  special  interest  was  the  fauna  of  Australasia,  and  his 
knowledge  of  the  matter  was  as  exhaustive  as  it  was  accurate. 
I  already  knew  a  good  deal  about  the  rabbits  in  Australasia 


THE   FAUNA   OF   AUSTRALIA.  1<H 

and  their  marvelous  fecundity,  but  in  my  talks  with  him  I 
found  that  my  estimate  of  the  great  hindrance  and  obstruction 
inflicted  by  the  rabbit  pest  upon  traffic  and  travel  was  far 
short  of  the  facts.  He  told  me  that  the  first  pair  of  rabbits 
imported  into  Australasia,  bred  so  wonderfully  that  within  six 
months  rabbits  were  so  thick  in  the  land  that  people  had  to 
dig  trenches  through  them  to  get  from  town  to  town. 

lie  told  me  a  great  deal  about  worms,  and  the  kangaroo, 
and  other  coleoptera,  and  said  he  knew  the  history  and  ways 
of  all  such  pachydermata.  lie  said  the  kangaroo  had  pockets, 
and  carried  its  young  in  them  when  it  couldn't  get  apples. 
And  he  said  that  the  emu  was  as  big  as  an  ostrich,  and  looked 
like  one,  and  had  an  amorphous  appetite  and  would  eat  bricks. 
Also,  that  the  dingo  was  not  a  dingo  at  all,  but  just  a  wild 
dog;  and  that  the  only  difference  between  a  dingo  and  a  dodo 
was  that  neither  of  them  barked  ;  otherwise  they  were  just 
the  same. 

He  said  that  the  only  game-bird  in  Australia  was  the  wom- 
bat, and  the  only  song-bird  the  larrikin,  and  that  both  were 
protected  by  government.  The  most  beautiful  of  the  native 
birds  was  the  bird  of  Paradise.  ISext  came  the  two  kinds  of 
lyres ;  not  spelt  the  same.  lie  said  the  one  kind  was  dying- 
out,  the  other  thickening  up.  He  explained  that  the  "Sun- 
downer1' Avas  not  a  birdT  it  was  a  man;  sundowner  was 
merely  the  Australian  equivalent  of  our  word,  tramp.  He  is 
a  loafer,  a  hard  drinker,  and  a  sponge.  He  tramps  across  the 
country  in  the  sheep-shearing  season,  pretending  to  look  for 
work;  but  he  always  times  himself  to  arrive  at  a  sheep-run 
just  at  sundown,  when  the  day's  labor  ends  ;  all  he  wants  is 
whisky  and  supper  and  bed  and  breakfast;  he  gets  them  and 
then  disappears.  The  naturalist  spoke  of  the  bell  bird,  the 
creature  that  at  short  intervals  all  day  rings  out  its  mellow  and 
exquisite  peal  from  the  deeps  of  the  forest.     It  is  the  favorite 


102  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  best  friend  of  the  weary  and  thirsty  sundowner;  for  he 
knows  that  wherever  the  bell  bird  is,  there  is  water ;  and  he 
g'oes  somewhere  else.  The  naturalist  said  that  the  oddest  bird 
in  Australasia  was  the  Laughing-  Jackass,  and  the  biggest  the 
now  extinct  Great  Moa. 

The  Moa  stood  thirteen  feet  high,  and  could  step  over  an 
ordinary  man's  head  or  kick  his  hat  off;  and  his  head,  too,  for 
that  mattei-.  lie  said  it  was  wingless,  but  a  swift  runner. 
The  natives  used  to  ride  it.  It  could  make  forty  miles  an 
hour,  and  keep  it  up  for  four  hundred  miles  and  come  out 
reasonably  fresh.  It  was  still  in  existence  when  the  railway 
was  introduced  into  New  Zealand;  still  in  existence,  and 
carrying  the  mails.  The  railroad  began  with  the  same  schedule 
it  has  now:  two  expresses  a  week --time,  twenty  miles  an 
hour.     The  company  exterminated  the  moa  to  get  the  mails. 

Speaking  of  the  indigenous  coneys  and  bactrian  camels,  the 
naturalist  said  that  the  coniferous  and  bacteriological  output  of 
Australasia  was  remarkable  for  its  many  and  curious  depart- 
ures from  the  accepted  laws  governing  these  species  of  tuber- 
cles, but  that  in  his  opinion  Nature's  fondness  for  dabbling  in 
the  erratic  was  most  notably  exhibited  in  that  curious  combina- 
tion of  bird,  fish,  amphibian,  burro wer,  crawler,  quadruped,  and 
Christian  called  the  Ornithorhyncus  —  grotesquest  of  animals, 
kino-  of  the  animalculaB  of  the  world  for  versatility  of  character 
and  make-up.     Said  he  - 

"You  can  call  it  anything  you  want  to,  and  be  right.  It  is  a  fish,  for  it 
lives  in  the  river  half  the  time  ;  it  is  a  land  animal,  for  it  resides  on  the  land 
half  the  time  ;  it  is  an  amphibian,  since  it  likes  both  and  does  not  know  which 
it  prefers  ;  it  is  a  hybernian,  for  when  times  are  dull  and  nothing  much  going 
on  it  buries  itself  under  the  mud  at  the  bottom  of  a  puddle  and  hybernates 
there  a  couple  of  weeks  at  a  time  ;  it  is  a  kind  of  duck,  for  it  has  a  duck-bill 
and  four  webbed  paddles  ;  it  is  a  fish  and  quadruped  together,  for  in  the 
water  it  swims  with  the  paddles  and  on  shore  it  paws  itself  across  country  with 
them  ;  it  is  a  kind  of  seal,  for  it  has  a  seal's  fur  ;  it  is  carnivorous,  herbivorous, 
insectivorous,  and  vermifuginous,  for  it  eats  fish  and  grass  and  butterflies, 
and  in  the  season  di°;s  worms  out  of  the  mud  and  devours  them  ;  it  is  clearly 


OFF  GOES  HIS  HEAD- 


THE   ORNITHORHYNCUS. 


105 


a  bird,  for  it  lays  eggs, 
and  hatches  them  :  it  is 
dearly  a  mammal,  for  it 
nurses  its  young  ;  and  it 
is  manifestly  a  kind  of 
Christian,  for  it  keeps  the 
Sabbath  when  there  is 
anybody  around,  and 
when  there  isn't,  doesn't, 
It  has  all  the  tastes  there 
are  except  refined  ones, 
it  has  all  the  habits  there 
are  except  good  ones. 

"It  is  a  survival  —  a 
survival    of    the    fittest. 
Mr.  Darwin  invented  the 
theory  that  goes  by  that 
name,   but  the   Ornitho- 
rhyncus was  the  first  to 
put    it   to  actual  experi- 
ment and   prove  that    it 
could  be  done.     Hence  it 
should  have  as  much  of 
the  credit  as  Mr.  Darwin 
It  was  never  in  the  Ark  ; 
you  will  rind  no  mention 
of  it    there  ;    it    nobly 
stayed  out  and  worked  the 
theory.     Of  all  creatures 
in  the  world  it  was  the 
only  one  properly  equip- 
ped   for   the    test,      The 
Ark  was  thirteen  months 
afloat,  and  all  the  globe 
submerged  ;  no  land  visi- 
ble  above   the  flood,   no 
vegetation,  no  food  for  a 
mammal  to  eat,  nor  water 
for  a  mammal  to  drink  ; 
for  all  mammal  food  was 
destroyed,  and  when  the 
pure  floods  from  heaven 
and  the  salt  oceans  of  the 
earth  mingled  their  waters 
and  rose  above  the  moun- 
tain tops,  the  result  was 
a  drink  which  no  bird  or 


I 


WAS  NEVER   IN    THE   AKK. 


106  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

boast  of  ordinary  construction  could  use  and  live.  But  this  combination  was 
nuts  for  the  Ornithorhyncus,  if  I  may  use  a  term  like  that  without  offense.  Its 
river  home  had  always  been  salted  by  the  flood  tides  of  the  sea.  On  the  face  of 
the  Noachian  deluge  innumerable  forest  trees  were  floating.  Upon  these  the 
Ornithorhyncus  voyaged  in  peace  ;  voyaged  fro.n  clime  to  clime,  from  hemis- 
phere to  hemisphere,  in  contentment  and  comfort,  in  virile  interest  in  the  con- 
stant change  of  scene,  in  humble  thankfulness  for  its  privileges,  in  ever-in- 
creasing enthusiam  in  the  development  of  the  great  theory  upon  whose 
validity  it  had  staked  its  life,  its  fortunes,  and  its  sacred  honor,  if  I  may  use 
such  expressions  without  impropriety  in  connection  with  an  episode  of  this 
nature. 

"It  lived  the  tranquil  and  luxurious  life  of  a  creature  of  independent 
means.  Of  things  actually  necessary  to  its  existence  and  its  happiness  not  a 
detail  was  wanting.  When  it  wished  to  walk,  it  scrambled  along  the  tree- 
trunk  ;  it  mused  in  the  shade  of  the  leaves  by  day,  it  slept  in  their  shelter  by 
night ;  when  it  wanted  the  refreshment  of  a  swim,  it  had  it ;  it  ate  leaves 
when  it  wanted  a  vegetable  diet,  it  dug  under  the  bark  for  worms  and  grubs; 
when  it  wanted  fish  it  caught  them,  when  it  wTanted  eggs  it  laid  them.  If  the 
grubs  gave  out  in  one  tree  it  swam  to  another  ;  and  as  for  fish,  the  very  opu 
lence  of  the  supply  was  an  embarrassment.  And  finally,  when  it  was  thirsty  it 
smacked  its  chops  in  gratitude  over  a  blend  that  would  have  slain  a  crocodile. 

"  When  at  last,  after  thirteen  months  of  travel  and  research  in  all  the 
Zones  it  went  aground  on  a  mountain-summit,  it  strode  ashore,  saying  in  its 
heart,  '  Let  them  that  come  after  me  invent  theories  and  dream  dreams  about 
the  Survival  of  the  Fittest  if  they  like,  but  I  am  the  first  that  has  done  it ! 

"  This  wonderful  creature  dates  back  like  the  kangaroo  and  many  other 
Australian  hydrocephalous  invertebrates,  to  an  age  long  anterior  to  the  advent 
of  man  upon  the  earth  ;  they  date  back,  indeed,  to  a  time  when  a  causeway 
hundreds  of  miles  wide,  and  thousands  of  miles  long,  joined  Australia  to 
Africa,  and  the  animals  of  the  two  countries  were  alike,  and  all  belonged  to 
that  remote  geological  epoch  known  to  science  as  the  Old  Red  Grindstone 
Post-Pleosaurian.  Later  the  causeway  sank  under  the  sea  ;  subterranean  con- 
vulsions lifted  the  African  continent  a  thousand  feet  higher  than  it  was  before, 
but  Australia  kept  her  old  level.  In  Africa's  new  climate  the  animals  neces- 
sarily began  to  develop  and  shade  off  into  new  forms  and  families  and  species, 
but  the  animals  of  Australia  as  necessarily  remained  stationary,  and  have  so 
remained  until  this  day.  In  the  course  of  some  millions  of  years  the  African 
Ornithorhyncus  developed  and  developed  and  developed,  and  sluffed  off 
detail  after  detail  of  its  make-up  until  at  last  the  creature  became  wholly  dis- 
integrated and  scattered.  Whenever  you  see  a  bird  or  a  beast  or  a  seal  or  an 
otter  in  Africa  you  know  that  he  is  merely  a  sorry  surviving  fragment  of  that 
sublime  original  of  whom  I  have  been  speaking  —  that  creature  which  was 
everything  in  general  and  nothing  in  particular  —  the  opulently  endowed  e 
pluribus  unum  of  the  animal  world. 

"  Such  is  the  history  of  the  most  hoary,  the  most  ancient,  the  most  vener- 
able creature  that  exists  in  the  earth  to  day  —  Ornithorhyncus  Platypus  Ex- 
traordinariensis — whom  God  preserve  !" 


BEAUTIFUL   VERSES.  107 

"When  he  was  strongly  moved  he  could  rise  and  soar  like 
that  with  ease.  And  not  only  in  the  prose  form,  but  in  the 
poetical  as  well.  He  had  written  many  pieces  of  poetry  in  his 
time,  and  these  manuscripts  he  lent  around  among  the  passen- 
gers, and  was  willing  to  let  them  be  copied.  It  seemed  to  me 
that  the  least  technical  one  in  the  series,  and  the  one  which 
reached  the  loftiest  note,  perhaps,  was  his 

INVOCATION. 

"Come  forth  from  thy  oozy  couch, 
O  Ornithorhyncus  dear  ! 
And  greet  with  a  cordial  claw 
The  stranger  that  longs  to  hear 

"From  thy  own  own  lips  the  tale 
Of  thy  origin  all  unknown: 
Thy  misplaced  bone  where  flesh  should  be 
And  flesh  where  should  be  bone  ; 

"And  fishy  fin  where  should  be  paw, 
And  beaver-trowel  tail, 
And  snout  of  beast  equip'd  with  teeth 
Where  gills  ought  to  prevail. 

"  Come,  Kangaroo,  the  good  and  true  ! 
Foreshortened  as  to  legs, 
And  body  tapered  like  a  churn, 
And  sack  marsupial,  i'  fegs, 

"  And  tells  us  why  you  linger  here, 
Thou  relic  of  a  vanished  time, 
When  all  your  friends  as  fossils  sleep, 
Immortalized  in  lime  !  " 

Perhaps  no  poet  is  a  conscious  plagiarist ;  but  there  seems 
to  be  warrant  for  suspecting  that  there  is  no  poet  who  is  not 
at  one  time  or  another  an  unconscious  one.  The  above  verses 
are  indeed  beautiful,  and,  in  a  way,  touching;  but  there  is  a 
haunting  something  about  them  which  unavoidably  suggests 
the  Sweet  Singer  of  Michigan.  It  can  hardly  be  doubted  that 
the  author  had  read  the  works  of  that  poet  and  been  im- 
pressed by  them.  It  is  not  apparent  that  he  has  borrowed 
from  them  any  word  or  vet  any  phrase,  but  the  stvle  and  swing 


108 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


and  mastery  and  melodv  of  the  Sweet  Singer  all  are  there. 
Compare  this  Invocation  with  "Frank  Dutton"  -particularly 
stanzas  first  and  seventeenth  —  and  I  think  the  reader  will  feel 
convinced  that  he  who  wrote  the  one  had  read  the  other :  * 

I. 

"Frank  Dutton  was  as  fine  a  lad 

As  ever  you  wish  to  see, 
And  he  was  drowned  in  Pine  Island  Lake 

On  earth  no  more  will  he  be, 
His  age  was  near  fifteen  years, 

And  he  was  a  motherless  boy, 
He  was  living  with  his  grandmother 

When  he  was  drowned,  poor  boy. 


XVII. 

"He  was  drowned  on  Tuesday  afternoon, 

On  Sunday  he  was  found, 
And  the  tidings  of  that  drowned  boy 

Was  heard  for  miles  around. 
His  form  was  laid  by  his  mother's  side, 

Beneath  the  cold,  cold  ground, 
His  friends  for  him  will  drop  a  tear 

When  they  view  his  little  mound." 

*  The  Sentimental  Song  Book.      By  Mrs.  Julia  Moore,  p.  36. 


THE   NATURALIST. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

It  is  your  human  environment  that  makes  climate. 

— Pudd'nhead  WUsmi's  New  Calendar. 

SEPT.  15--  Night.  Close  to  Australia  now.  Sydney  50 
miles  distant. 
That  note  recalls  an  experience.  The  passengers 
were  sent  for,  to  come  up  in  the  bow  and  see  a  fine  sight.  It 
was  very  dark.  ( hie  could  not  follow  with  the  eye  the  surface 
of  the  sea  more  than  fifty  yards  in  any  direction  — it  dimmed 
away  and  became  lost  to  sight  at  about  that  distance  from  us. 
But  if  you  patiently  gazed  into  the  darkness  a  little  while, 
there  was  a  sure  reward  for  you.  Presently,  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  away  you  would  see  a  blinding  splash  or  explosion  of 
liu'ht  on  the  water —  a  flash  so  sudden  and  so  astonishino-Jv  bril- 
liant  that  it  would  make  you  catch  your  breath  ;  then  that 
blotch  of  light  would  instantly  extend  itself  and  take  the  cork- 
screw  shape  and  imposing  length  of  the  fabled  sea-serpent, 
with  every  curve  of  its  body  and  the  "  break"  spreading  away 
from  its  head,  and  the  wake  following  behind  its  tail  clothed 
in  a  tierce  splendor  of  living  lire.  And  my,  but  it  was  coming 
at  a  lightning  gait  !  Almost  before  you  could  think,  this  nion- 
ster  of  light,  iiftv  feet  long,  would  go  flaming  and  storming 
by,  and  suddenly  disappear.  And  out  in  the  distance  whence 
he  came  you  would  see  another  flash ;  and  another  and 
another  and  another,  and  see  them  turn  into  sea-serpents  on 
the  instant ;  and  once  sixteen  flashed  up  at  the  same  time  and 
came  tearing  towards  us,  a  swarm  of  wiggling  curves,  a  mov- 
ing conflagration,  a  vision  of  bewildering  beauty,  a  spectacle 

(109) 


110  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

of  .lire  and  energy  whose  equal  the  most  of  those  people  will 
not  see  again  until  after  they  are  dead. 

It  was  porpoises  --  porpoises  aglow  with  phosphorescent 
light.  They  presently  collected  in  a  wild  and  magnificent 
jumble  under  the  bows,  and  there  they  played  for  an  hour, 
leaping  and  frollicking  and  carrying  on,  turning  summersaults 
in  front  of  the  stem  or  across  it  and  never  getting  hit,  never 
making  a  miscalculation,  though  the  stem  missed  them  only 
about  an  inch,  as  a  rule.  They  were  porpoises  of  the  ordinary 
length  —  eight  or  ten  feet — but  every  twist  of  their  bodies 
sent  a  long  procession  of  united  and  glowing  curves  astern. 
That  fiery  jumble  was  an  enchanting  thing  to  look  at,  and  we 
stayed  out  the  performance;  one  cannot  have  such  a  show  as 
that  twice  in  a.  lifetime.  The  porpoise  is  the  kitten  of  the 
sea ;  he  never  has  a  serious  thought,  he  cares  for  nothing  but 
fun  and  play.  But  I  think  I  never  saw  him  at  his  winsomest 
until  that  night.  It  was  near  a  center  of  civilization,  and  he 
could  have  been  drinking. 

By  and  by,  when  we  had  approached  to  somewhere  within 
thirty  miles  of  Sydney  Heads  the  great  electric  light  that  is 
posted  on  one  of  those  lofty  ramparts  began  to  show,  and  in 
time  the  little  spark  grew  to  a  great  sun  and  pierced  the  firm- 
ament of  darkness  with  a  far-reaching  sword  of  light. 

Sydney  Harbor  is  shut  in  behind  a  precipice  that  extends 
some  miles  like  a  wall,  and  exhibits  no  break  to  the  ignorant 
stranger.  It  has  a  break  in  the  middle,  but  it  makes  so  little 
show  that  even  Captain  Cook  sailed  by  it  without  seeing  it. 
Xear  by  that  break  is  a  false  break  which  resembles  it,  ami 
which  used  to  make  trouble  for  the  mariner  at  night,  in  the 
early  days  before  the  place  was  lighted.  It  caused  the  memo- 
rable disaster  to  th.eDunca?i  Dimbar,  one  of  the  most  pathetic 
tragedies  in  the  history  of  that  pitiless  ruffian,  the  sea,  The 
ship  was  a  sailing  vessel ;  a  fine  and  favorite  passenger  packet, 


FATE  OF  THE  DUNCAN  DUNBAR.  1  1  1 

commanded  by  a  popular  captain  of  high  reputation.  She  was 
due  from  England,  and  Sydney  was  waiting,  and  counting  the 
hours ;  counting  the  hours,  and  making  ready  to  give  her  a 
heart-stirring  welcome;  for  she  was  bringing  back  a  great 
company  of  mothers  and  daughters,  the  long-missed  light  and 
bloom  of  life  of  Sydney  homes;  daughters  that  had  been 
years  absent  at  school,  and  mothers  that  had  been  with  them 
all  that  time  watching  over  them.  Of  all  the  world  only  India 
and  Australasia  have  by  custom  freighted  ships  and  fleets  with 
their  hearts,  and  know  the  tremendous  meaning  of  that 
phrase ;  only  they  know  what  the  waiting  is  like  when  this 
freightage  is  entrusted  to  the  fickle  winds,  not  steam,  and 
what  the  joy  is  like  when  the  ship  that  is  returning  this  treas- 
ure comes  safe  to  port  and  the  long  dread  is  over. 

On  board  the  Duncan  Dunbar,  flying  toward  Sydney  Heads 
in  the  waning  afternoon,  the  happy  home-comers  made  busy 
preparation,  for  it  was  not  doubted  that  they  would  be  in  the 
arms  of  their  friends  before  the  day  was  done ;  they  put  away 
their  sea-going  clothes  and  put  on  clothes  meeter  for  the  meet- 
ing, their  richest  and  their  loveliest,  these  poor  brides  of  the 
grave.  But  the  wind  lost  force,  or  there  was  a  miscalculation, 
and  before  the  Heads  were  sighted  the  darkness  came  on.  It 
was  said  that  ordinarily  the  captain  would  have  made  a  safe 
offing  and  waited  for  the  morning ;  but  this  was  no  ordinary 
occasion ;  all  about  him  were  appealing  faces,  faces  pathetic 
with  disappointment.  So  his  sympathy  moved  him  to  try  the 
dangerous  passage  in  the  dark.  He  had  entered  the  Heads 
seventeen  times,  and  believed  he  knew  the  ground.  So  he 
steered  straight  for  the  false  opening,  mistaking  it  for  the  true 
one.  He  did  not  find  out  that  he  was  wrong  until  it  was  too 
late.  There  was  no  saving  the  ship.  The  great  seas  swept 
her  in  and  crushed  her  to  splinters  and  rubbish  upon  the  rock 
tushes  at  the  base  of  the  precipice.     Not  one  of  all  that  fair 


112  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  gracious  company  was  ever  seen  again  alive.  The  tale 
is  told  to  every  stranger  that  passes  the  spot,  and  it  will  con- 
tinue to  be  told  to  all  that  come,  for  generations ;  but  it  will 
never  grow  old,  custom  cannot  stale  it,  the  heart-break  that 
is  in  it  can  never  perish  out  of  it. 

There  were  two  hundred  persons  in  the  ship,  and  but  one 
survived  the  disaster.  He  was  a  sailor.  A  huge  sea  flung  him 
up  the  face  of  the  precipice  and  stretched  him  on  a  narrow 
shelf  of  rock  midway  between  the  top  and  the  bottom,  and 
there  he  lay  all  night.  At  any  other  time  he  would  have  lain 
there  for  the  rest  of  his  life,  without  chance  of  discovery ;  but 
the  next  morning  the  ghastly  news  swept  through  Sydney  that 
the  Duncan  Dunbar  had  gone  down  in  sight  of  home,  and 
straightway  the  walls  of  the  Heads  were  black  with  mourners : 
and  one  of  these,  stretching  himself  out  over  the  precipice  to 
spy  out  what  might  be  seen  below,  discovered  this  miraculously 
preserved  relic  of  the  wreck.  Ropes  wrere  brought  and  the 
nearly  impossible  feat  of  rescuing  the  man  was  accomplished. 
He  was  a  person  with  a  practical  turn  of  mind,  and  he  hired  a 
hall  in  Sydney  and  exhibited  himself  at  sixpence  a  head  till  he 
exhausted  the  output  of  the  gold  fields  for  that  year. 

AVe  entered  and  cast  anchor,  and  in  the  morning  went 
oh-ing  and  ah-ing  in  admiration  up  through  the  crooks  and 
turns  of  the  spacious  and  beautiful  harbor  —  a  harbor  which 
is  the  darling  of  Sydney  and  the  wonder  of  the  world. 
It  is  not  surprising  that  the  people  are  proud  of  it,  nor  that 
they  put  their  enthusiasm  into  eloquent  words.  A  returning 
citizen  asked  me  what  I  thought  of  it,  and  1  testified  with 
a  cordiality  which  I  judged  would  be  up  to  the  market  rate. 
I  said  it  was  beautiful  —  superbly  beautiful.  Then  by  a 
natural  impulse  I  gave  God  the  praise.  The  citizen  did  not 
seem  altogether  satisfied.     He  said: 

"It   is  beautiful,  of    course    it's  beautiful  —  the  Harbor; 


SYDNEY  HARBOR. 


113 


but  that  isn't  all  of  it,  it's  only  half  of  it;  Sydney's  the 
other  half,  and  it  takes  both  of  them  together  to  ring  the 
supremacy -bell.  God  made  the  Harbor,  and  that's  all  right; 
but  Satan  made  Sydney.'" 

Of  course  1  made  an  apology;  and  asked  him  to  convey 
it  to  his  friend.  He  was  right  about  Sydney  being  half 
of  it.  It  would  be  beautiful  without  Sydney,  but  not  above 
half  as  beautiful  as  it  is  now,  with  Sydney  added.  It  is  shaped 
somewhat  like  an  oak-leaf — a  roomy  sheet  of  lovely  blue 
water,  with  narrow  off-shoots  of  water  running  up  into  the 
country  on  both  sides  between  long  fingers  of  land,  high 
wooden  ridges  with  sides  sloped  like  graves.  Handsome 
villas  are  perched  here  and  there  on  these  ridges,  snuggling 
amongst  the  foliage,  and  one  catches  alluring  glimpses  of  them 
as  the  ship  swims  by  toward  the  city.  The  city  clothes  a  cluster 
of  hills  and  a  ruffle  of  neighboring  ridges  with  its  undulating 
masses  of  masonry,  and  out  of  these  masses  spring  towers 

and  spires  and 


. 

other    archi- 

tectural digni- 

ties and  grand- 

eursthat  break 

the  flo wing- 

•1~.  ' 

lines  and  give 

picturesque- 
ness  to  the 
general  effect. 
The  narrow 
inlets  which  I 
h  a  v  e    m  e  n  - 

tioned  go  wandering  out  into  the  land  everywhere  and  hiding 
themselves  in  it,  and  pleasure-launches  are  always  exploring 
8 


VIEW    IN    SYDNEY    HARBOR. 


114  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

them  with  picnic  parties  on  board.  It  is  said  by  trustworthy 
people  that  if  you  explore  them  all  you  will  find  that  you 
have  covered  TOO  miles  of  water  passage.  But  there  are  liars 
everywhere  this  year,  and  they  will  double  that  when  their 
works  are  in  good  going  order. 

October  was  close  at  hand,  spring  was  come.  It  was  really 
spring — everybody  said  so;  but  you  could  have  sold  it  for 
summer  in  Canada,  and  nobody  would  have  suspected.  It  was 
the  very  weather  that  makes  our  home  summers  the  perfection 
of  climatic  luxury;  I  mean,  when  you  are  out  in  the  wood  or 
by  the  sea.  But  these  people  said  it  was  cool,  now  —  a  person 
ought  to  see  Sydney  in  the  summer  time  if  he  wanted  to  know 
what  warm  weather  is ;  and  he  ought  to  go  north  ten  or  fifteen 
hundred  miles  if  he  wanted  to  know  what  hot  weather  is. 
They  said  that  away  up  there  toward  the  equator  the  hens 
laid  fried  eggs.  Sydney  is  the  place  to  go  to  get  information 
about  other  people's  climates.  It  seems  to  me  that  the  occupa- 
tion of  Unbiased  Traveler  Seeking  Information  is  the  pleas- 
antest  and  most  irresponsible  trade  there  is.  The  traveler  can 
always  find  out  anything  he  wants  to,  merely  by  asking.  He 
can  get  at  all  the  facts,  and  more.  Everybody  helps  him,  no- 
body hinders  him.  Anybody  who  has  an  old  fact  in  stock  that 
is  no  longer  negotiable  in  the  domestic  market  will  let  him 
have  it  at  his  own  price.  An  accumulation  of  such  goods  is 
easily  and  quickly  made.  They  cost  almost  nothing  and  they 
bring  par  in  the  foreign  market.  Travelers  who  come  to 
America  always  freight  up  with  the  same  old  nursery  tales 
that  their  predecessors  selected,  and  they  carry  them  back  and 
always  work  them  off  without  any  trouble  in  the  home  market. 

If  the  climates  of  the  world  were  determined  by  parallels 
of  latitude,  then  we  could  know  a  place's  climate  by  its  posi- 
tion on  the  map ;  and  so  we  should  knoAV  that  the  climate  of 
Sydney  was  the  counterpart  of  the  climate  of  Columbia,  S.  C, 


A   SYDNEY    WINTER.  115 

and  of  Little  Rock,  Arkansas,  since  Sydney  is  about  the  same 
distance  south  of  the  equator  that  those  other  towns  are  north 
of  it  —  thirty-four  degrees.  But  no,  climate  disregards  the 
parallels  of  latitude.  In  Arkansas  they  have  a  winter;  in 
Sydney  they  have  the  name  of  it,  but  not  the  thing  itself.  I 
have  seen  the  ice  in  the  Mississippi  floating  past  the  mouth  of 
the  Arkansas  river ;  and  at  Memphis,  but  a  little  way  above, 
the  Mississippi  has  been  frozen  over,  from  bank  to  bank.  But 
they  have  never  had  a  cold  spell  in  Sydney  which  brought  the 
mercury  down  to  freezing  point.  Once  in  a  mid-winter  day 
there,  in  the  month  of  Julv,  the  mercury  went  down  to  36°, 
and  that  remains  the  memorable  "cold  day"'  in  the  history  of 
the  town.  No  doubt  Little  Rock  has  seen  it  below  zero.  Once, 
in  Sydney,  in  mid-summer,  about  Xew  Year's  Day,  the  mer- 
cury went  up  to  106°  in  the  shade,  and  that  is  Sydney's  memo- 
rable hot  day.  That  would  about  tally  with  Little  Rock's 
hottest  day  also,  I  imagine.-  My  Sydney  figures  are  taken 
from  a  government  report,  and  are  trustworthy.  In  the  mat- 
ter of  summer  weather  Arkansas  has  no  advantage  over  Syd- 
ney, perhaps,  but  when  it  comes  to  winter  weather,  that  is 
another  affair.  You  could  cut  up  an  Arkansas  winter  into  a 
hundred  S}xdney  winters  and  have  enough  left  for  Arkansas 
and  the  poor. 

The  whole  narrow,  hillv  belt  of  the  Pacific  side  of  Xew 
South  AYales  has  the  climate  of  its  capital  —  a  mean  winter  tem- 
perature of  54°  and  a  mean  summer  one  of  71°.  It  is  a  climate 
which  cannot  be  improved  upon  for  healthfulness.  But  the 
experts  say  that  90°  in  Xew  South  Wales  is  harder  to  bear 
than  112°  in  the  neighboring  colony  of  Victoria,  because  the 
atmosphere  of  the  former  is  humid,  and  of  the  latter  dry. 

The  mean  temperature  of  the  southernmost  point  of  Xew 
South  Wales  is  the  same  as  that  of  Xice  —  60° — yet  Xice  is 
further  from  the  equator  by  460  miles  than  is  the  former. 


11C 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


But  Nature  is  always  stingy  of  perfect  climates ;  stingier 
in  the  case  of  Australia  than  usual.  Apparently  this  vast 
continent  has  a  really  good  climate  nowhere  but  around  the 
edges. 

If  we  look  at  a  map  of  the  world  we  are  surprised  to  see 
how  big  Australia  is.  It  is  about  two-thirds  as  large  as  the 
United  States  was  before  we  added  Alaska. 

But  where  as  one  finds  a  sufficiently  good  climate  and  fer- 
tile land  almost  everywhere  in  the  United  States,  it  seems  set- 
tled that  inside  of  the  Australian  border-belt  one  finds  many 
deserts  and  in  spots  a  climate  which  nothing  can  stand  except  a 
few  of  the  hardier  kinds  of  rocks.  In  effect,  Australia  is  as 
yet  unoccupied.     If  you  take  a  map  of  the  United  States  and 


w.  A 


A 


feR^TORy! 


*** 


or 


USTR  a'ui  A^Vo 


«fcr 


^ 


r^f 


<CT°«u 


leave  the  Atlantic  sea-board  States  in  their  places ;  also  the 
fringe  of  Southern  States  from  Florida  west  to  the  Mouth  of 
the  Mississippi ;  also  a  narrow,  inhabited  streak  up  the  Mis- 
sissippi half-way  to  its  head  waters  ;  also  a  narrow,  inhabited 
border  along  the  Pacific  coast :  then  take  a  brushful  of  paint 
and  obliterate  the  whole  remaining  mighty  stretch  of  country 
that  lies  between  the  Atlantic  States  and  the  Pacific-coast 
strip,  your  map  will  look  like  the  latest  map  of  Australia. 

This  stupendous  blank  is  hot,  not  to  say  torrid  ;  a  part  of  it 
is  fertile,  the  rest  is  desert ;  it  is  not  liberally  watered  ;  it  has 
no  towns.  One  has  only  to  cross  the  mountains  of  New  South 
Wales  and  descend  into  the  westward-lying  regions  to  find 
that  he  has  left  the  choice  climate  behind  him,  and  found  a 


A  DUST-STORM.  117 

new  one  of  a  quite  different  character.  In  fact,  he  would  not 
know  by  the  thermometer  that  he  was  not  in  the  blistering 
Plains  of  India.      Captain  Start,  the  great  explorer,  gives  us  a 

sample  of  the  heat. 

"The  wind,  which  had  been  blowing  all  the  morning  from  the  N.E.,  in- 
creased to  a  heavy  gale,  and  I  shall  never  forget  its  withering  effect.  I 
sought  shelter  behind  a  large  gum-tree,  but  the  blasts  of  heat  were  so  terrific 
that  I  wondered  the  eery  grass  did  not  dike  fire.  This  really  was  nothing  ideal: 
everything  both  animate  and  inanimate  gave  way  before  it  ;  the  horses  stood 
with  their  backs  to  the  wind  and  their  noses  to  the  ground,  without  the  mus- 
cular strength  to  raise  their  heads  ;  the  birds  were  mute,  and  the  leaves  of  the 
trees  under  which  we  were  silting  fell  Ufa  a  snow  shower  around  us.  At  noon 
I  took  a  thermometer  graded  to  127°,  out  of  my  box,  and  observed  that  the 
mercury  was  up  to  125°.  Thinking  that  it  had  been  unduly  influenced,  I  put 
it  in  the  fork  of  a  tree  close  to  me,  sheltered  alike  from  the  wind  and  the  sun. 
I  went  to  examine  it  about  an  hour  afterwards,  when  I  found  the  mercury 
had  risen  to  the  top  of  the  instrument  and  had  burst  the  bulb,  a  circumstance 
that  I  believe  no  traveler  has  ever  before  had  to  record.  I  cannot  find  lan- 
guage to  convey  to  the  reader's  mind  an  idea  of  the  intense  and  oppressive 
nature  of  the  heat  that  prevailed." 

That  hot  wind  sweeps  over  Sydney  sometimes,  and  brings 
with  it  what  is  called  a  "  dust-storm."  It  is  said  that  most 
Australian  towns  are  acquainted  with  the  dust-storm.  I  think  I 
know  what  it  is  like,  for  the  following  description  by  Mr.  Gane 
tallies  very  well  with  the  alkali  dust-storm  of  Xevada,  if  you 
leave  out  the  "  shovel "  part.  Still  the  shovel  part  is  a  pretty 
important  part,  and  seems  to  indicate  that  my  Xevada  storm 
is  but  a  poor  thing,  after  all. 

"As  we  proceeded  the  altitude  became  less,  and  the  heat  proportionately 
greater  until  we  reached  Dubbo,  which  is  only  600  feet  above  sea-level.  It  is 
a  pretty  town,  built  on  an  extensive  plain.  .  .  .  After  the  effects  of  a 
shower  of  rain  have  passed  away  the  surface  of  the  ground  crumbles  into  a 
thick  layer  of  dust,  and  occasionally,  when  the  wind  is  in  a  particular  quarter, 
it  is  lifted  bodily  from  the  ground  in  one  long  opaqiti  cloud .  In  the  midst  of  such 
a  storm  nothing  can  be  seen  a  few  yards  ahead,  and  the  unlucky  person  who 
happens  to  be  out  at  the  time  is  compelled  to  seek  the  nearest  retreat  at  hand 
When  the  thrifty  housewife  sees  in  the  distance  the  dark  column  advancing  in 
a  steady  whirl  towards  her  house,  she  closes  the  doors  and  windows  with  all 
expedition.  A  drawing-room,  the  window  of  which  has  been  carelessly  left 
open  during  a  dust-storm,  is  indeed  an  extraordinary  sight.  A  lady  who  has 
resided  in  Dubbo  for  some  years  says  that  the  dust  lies  so  thick  on  the  carpi  I 
that  it  is  necessary  to  use  a  shovel  to  remove  it." 


118 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


And  probably  a  wagon.  I  was  mistaken ;  I  have  not  seen 
a  proper  dust-storm.  To  my  mind  the  exterior  aspects  and 
character  of  Australia  are  fascinating  things  to  look  at  and 
think  about,  they  are  so  strange,  so  weird,  so  new,  so  uncom- 
monplace,  such  a  startling  and  interesting  contrast  to  the  other 
sections  of  the  planet,  the  sections  that  are  known  to  us  all, 
familiar  to  us  all.  In  the  matter  of  particulars  —  a  detail  here, 
a  detail  there  —  we  have  had  the  choice  climate  of  New  South 
Wales'  sea-coast ;  we  have  had  the  Australian  heat  as  furnished 
by  Captain  Sturt ;  we  have  had  the  wonderful  dust-storm  ;  and 
we  have  considered  the  phenomenon  of  an  almost  empty  hot 
wilderness  half  as  big  as  the  United  States,  with  a  narrow  belt 
of  civilization,  population,  and  good  climate  around  it. 


A   DUST   STOKM. 


CHAPTEK  X. 

Everything  human  is  pathetic.  The  secret  source  of  Humor  itself  is  not  joy  but 
sorrow.     There  is  no  humor  in  heaven.—  PudfTnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

GAPTAIN  Cook  found  Australia  in  1770,  and  eighteen 
years  later  the  British  Government  began  to  transport 
convicts  to  it.  Altogether,  New  South  Wales  received 
83,000  in  53  years.  The  convicts  wore  heavy  chains;  they 
were  ill-fed  and  badly  treated  by  the  officers  set  over  them ; 
they  were  heavily  punished  for  even  slight  infractions  of  the 
rules;  "  the  crudest  discipline  ever  known1''  is  one  historian's 
description  of  their  life.* 

English  law  was  hard-hearted  in  those  days.  For  trifling 
offenses  which  in  our  day  would  be  punished  by  a  small  fine  or 
a  few  days'  confinement,  men,  women,  and  boys  were  sent  to 
this  other  end  of  the  earth  to  serve  terms  of  seven  and  fourteen 
years;  and  for  serious  crimes  they  were  transported  for  life. 
Children  were  sent  to  the  penal  colonies  for  seven  years  for 
stealing  a  rabbit ! 

When  I  was  in  London  twentv-three  vears  ago  there  was 
a  new  penalty  in  force  for  diminishing  garroting  and  wife- 
beating —  25  lashes  on  the  bare  back  with  the  cat-o'-nine-tails. 
It  was  said  that  this  terrible  punishment  was  able  to  bring  the 
stubbornest  ruffians  to  terms;  and  that  no  man  had  been  found 
with  grit  enough  to  keep  his  emotions  to  himself  beyond  the 
ninth  blow  ;  as  a  rule  the  man  shrieked  earlier.  That  penalty 
had  a  great  and  wholesome  effect  upon  the  garroters  and  wife- 
beaters  ;  but  humane  modern  London  could  not  endure  it ;  it 


*  The  Story  of  Australasia.    J.  S.  Laurie. 

(119) 


L20  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

got  its  law  rescinded.  Many  a  bruised  and  battered  English 
wife  has  since  had  occasion  to  deplore  that  cruel  achievement 
of  sentimental  "  humanity.'1 

Twenty-five  lashes!  l\\  Australia  and  Tasmania  they  gave 
a  convict  fifty  for  almost  any  little  offense;  and  sometimes 
a  brutal  officer  would  add  fifty,  and  then  another  fifty,  and  so 
on,  as  long  as  the  sufferer  could  endure  the  torture  and  live. 
In  Tasmania  I  read  the  entry,  in  an  old  manuscript  official 
record,  of  a  case  where  a  convict  was  given  three  hundred 
lashes  —  for  stealing  some  silver  spoons.  And  men  got  more 
than  that,  sometimes.  Who  handled  the  cat  \  Often  it  was 
another  convict;  sometimes  it  was  the  culprit's  dearest  com- 
rade ;  and  he  had  to  lay  on  with  all  his  might ;  otherwise  he 
would  get  a  flogging  himself  for  his  mercy --for  he  was  under 
watch  —  and  yet  not  do  his  friend  any  good :  the  friend  would 
be  attended  to  by  another  hand  and  suffer  no  lack  in  the 
matter  of  full  punishment. 

The  convict  life  in  Tasmania  was  so  unendurable,  and  sui- 
cide so  difficult  to  accomplish  that  once  or  twice  despairing 
men  got  together  and  drew  straws  to  determine  which  of  them 
should  kill  another  of  the  group  —  this  murder  to  secure  death 
to  the  perpetrator  and  to  the  witnesses  of  it  by  the  hand  of  the 
hangman ! 

The  incidents  quoted  above  are  mere  hints,  mere  sugges- 
tions of  what  convict  life  was  like  —  they  are  but  a  couple  of 
details  tossed  into  view  out  of  a  shoreless  sea  of  such ;  or,  to 
change  the  figure,  they  are  but  a  pair  of  flaming  steeples 
photographed  from  a  point  which  hides  from  sight  the  burning 
city  which  stretches  away  from  their  bases  on  every  hand. 

Some  of  the  convicts  —  indeed,  a  good  many  of  them- 
were  very  bad  people,  even  for  that  day ;  but  the  most  of  them 
Avere  probably  not  noticeably  worse  than  the  average  of  the 
people  they  left  behind  them  at  home.     We  must  believe  this  ; 


CONVICTS  IX  AUSTRALIA.  L2J 


we  cannot  avoid  it.  We  are  obliged  to  believe  that  a  nation 
that  could  look  on,  unmoved,  and  see  starving  or  freezing 
women  hanged  for  stealing  twenty-six  cents'  worth  of  bacon  or 
rags,  and  bovs  snatched  from  their  mothers,  and  men  from" 
their  families,  and  sent  to  the  other  side  of  the  world  for  long 
terms  of  years  for  similar  trifling  offenses,  was  a  nation  to 
whom  the  term  "civilized"  could  not  in  any  large  way  be  ap- 
plied. And  we  must  also  believe  that  a  nation  that  knew,  dur- 
ing more  than  forty  years,  what  was  happening  to  those  exiles 
and  was  still  content  with  it,  was  not  advancing  in  any  showy 
way  toward  a  higher  grade  of  civilization. 

If  we  look  into  the  characters  and  conduct  of  the  officers 
and  gentlemen  who  had  charge  of  the  convicts  and  attended 
to  their  backs  and  stomachs,  we  must  grant  again  that  as  be- 
tween the  convict  and  his  masters,  and  between  both  and 
the  nation  at  home,  there  was  a  quite  noticeable  monotony  of 
sameness. 

Four  years  had  gone  by,  and  many  convicts  had  come. 
Respectable  settlers  were  beginning  to  arrive.  These  two 
classes  of  colonists  had  to  be  protected,  in  case  of  trouble 
among  themselves  or  with  the  natives.  It  is  proper  to  mention 
the  natives,  though  they  could  hardly  count  they  were  so 
scarce.  At  a  time  when  they  had  not  as  yet  begun  to  be  much 
disturbed  —  not  as  vet  being  in  the  way  —  it  was  estimated 
that  in  Xew  South  Wales  there  was  but  one  native  to  45,000 
acres  of  territory. 

People  had  to  be  protected.  Officers  of  the  regular  army 
did  not  want  this  service  —  away  off  there  where  neither  honor 
nor  distinction  was  to  be  gained.  So  England  recruited  and 
officered  a  kind  of  militia  force  of  1,000  uniformed  civilians 
called  the  "  Xew  South  Wales  Corps  "  and  shipped  it. 

This  was  the  worst  blow  of  all.     The  colony  fairlv  staggered 

*j  v  Do 

under  it.     The  Corps  was  an  object-lesson  of  the  moral  condi- 


122  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

tion  of  England  outside  of  the  jails.  The  colonists  trembled. 
It  was  feared  that  next  there  would  be  an  importation  of  the 
nobility. 

In  those  early  days  the  colony  was  non-supporting.  All 
the  necessaries  of  life  —  food,  clothing,  and  all  —  were  sent  out 
from  England,  and  kept  in  great  government  store-houses,  and 
given  to  the  convicts  and  sold  to  the  settlers  —  sold  at  a  trifling 
advance  upon  cost.  The  Corps  saw  its  opportunity.  Its 
officers  went  into  commerce,  and  in  a  most  lawless  way.  They 
went  to  importing  rum,  and  also  to  manufacturing  it  in  private 
stills,  in  defiance  of  the  government's  commands  and  protests. 
They  leagued  themselves  together  and  ruled  the  market ;  they 
boycotted  the  government  and  the  other  dealers :  thev  estab- 

%>  O  *■' 

lished  a  close  monopoly  and  kept  it  strictly  in  their  own  hands. 
AVhen  a  vessel  arrived  with  spirits,  they  allowed  nobody  to  buy 
but  themselves,  and  they  forced  the  owner  to  sell  to  them  at  a 
price  named  by  themselves  —  and  it  was  always  low  enough. 
They  bought  rum  at  an  average  of  two  dollars  a  gallon  and 
sold  it  at  an  average  of  ten.  They  modi  rum  the  currency  of 
the  country  —  for  there  was  little  or  no  money  —  and  they 
maintained  their  devastating  hold  and  kept  the  colony  under 
their  heel  for  eighteen  or  twenty  years  before  they  were  finally 
conquered  and  routed  by  the  government. 

Meantime,  they  had  spread  intemperance  everywhere.  And 
they  had  squeezed  farm  after  farm  out  of  the  settlers'  hands 
for  rum,  and  thus  had  bountifully  enriched  themselves.  AVhen 
a  farmer  was  caught  in  the  last  agonies  of  thirst  they  took 
advantage  of  him  and  sweated  him  for  a  drink. 

In  one  instance  they  sold  a  man  a  gallon  of  rum  worth  two 
dollars  for  a  piece  of  property  which  was  sold  some  years  later 
for  $100,000. 

AVhen  the  colony  was  about  eighteen  or  twenty  years  old  it 
was  discovered  that  the  land  was  specially  fitted  for  the  wool 


PROSPERITY    WITH   HOSPITALITY. 


123 


culture.  Prosperity  followed,  commerce  with  the  world  began, 
by  and  by  rich  mines  of  the  noble  metals  were  opened,  immi- 
grants flowed  in,  capital  likewise.  The  result  is  the  great  and 
wealthy  and  enlightened  commonwealth  of  New  South  Wales. 
It  is  a  country  that  is  rich  in  mines,  wool  ranches,  trams, 
railways,  steamship  lines,  schools,  newspapers,  botanical  gar- 
dens, art  galleries,  libraries,  museums,  hospitals,  learned  socie- , 
ties;  it  is  the  hospitable  home  of  every  species  of  culture  and  of  ! 
every  species  of  material  enterprise,  and  there  is  a  church  at 
every  man's  door,  and  a  race-track  over  the  way. 


NEW   SOUTH   WALES   CORPS. 


CHAPTER  XL 

We  should  be  careful  to  get  outof  an  experience  only  the  wisdom  that  is  in  it  — 
and  stop  there  ;  lest  we  be  like  the  cat  that  sits  down  on  a  hot  stove-lid.  She  will 
never  sit  down  on  a  hot  stove-lid  again — and  that  is  well ;  but  also  she  will  never 
sit  down  on  a  cold  one  any  more. —  Pudd'nhead  Wilton's  New  Calendar. 

ALL  English-speaking  colonies  are  made  up  of  lavishly 
hospitable  people,  and  New  South  "Wales  and  its  capi- 
tal are  like  the  rest  in  this.  The  English-speaking 
colony  of  the  United  States  of  America  is  always  called  lav- 
ishly hospitable  by  the  English  traveler.  As  to  the  other 
English-speaking  colonies  throughout  the  world  from  Canada 
all  around,  I  know  by  experience  that  the  description  fits  them. 
I  will  not  go  more  particularly  into  this  matter,  for  I  find  that 
when  writers  try  to  distribute  their  gratitude  here  and  there 
and  yonder  by  detail  they  rim  across  difficulties  and  do  some 
ungraceful  stumbling. 

Mr.  (lane  ("  Xew  South  Wales  and  Victoria  in  1885  "), 
tried  to  distribute  his  gratitude,  and  was  not  lucky  : 

"The  inhabitants  of  Sydney  are  renowned  for  their  hospitality.  The 
treatment  which  we  experienced  at  the  hands  of  this  generous-hearted  people 
will  help  more  than  anything  else  to  make  us  recollect  with  pleasure  our  stay 
amongst  them.  In  the  character  of  hosts  and  hostesses  they  excel.  The 
'  new  chum  '  needs  only  the  acquaintanceship  of  one  of  their  number,  and  he 
becomes  at  once  the  happy  recipient  of  numerous  complimentary  invitations 
and  thoughtful  kindnesses.  Of  the  towns  it  has  been  our  good  fortune  to 
visit,  none  have  portrayed  home  so  faithfully  as  Sydney." 

Nobody  could  say  it  finer  than  that.     If  he  had  put  in  his 

cork  then,  and  staved  away  from  Dubbo  —  but  no;  heedless 

man,  he  pulled  it  again.     Pulled  it  when  he  was  away  along 

in  his  book,  and  his  memory  of  what  he  had  said  about  Sydney 

had  grown  dim  : 

(124) 


AX   AMERICAN   TRIMMED   CITY. 


125 


"We  cannot  quit  the  promising  town  of  Dubbo  without  testifying,  in 
warm  praise,  to  the  kind-hearted  and  hospitable  usages  of  its  inhabitants. 
Sydney,  though  well  deserving  the  character  it  bears  of  its  kindly  treatment 
of  strangers,  possesses  a  little  formality  and  reserve.  In  Dubbo,  on  the  con- 
trary, though  the  same  congenial  manners  prevail,  there  is  a  pleasing  degree 
of  respectful  familiarity  which  gives  the  town  a  homely  comfort  not  often  met 
with  elsewhere.  In  laying  on  one  side  our  pen  we  feel  contented  in  having 
been  able,  though  so  late  in  this  work,  to  bestow  a  panegyric,  however  un- 
pretentious, on  a  town  which,  though  possessing  no  picturesque  natural  sur- 
roundings, uor  interesting  architectural  productions,  has  yet  a  body  of  citi- 
zens whose  hearts  cannot  but  obtain  for  their  town  a  reputation  for  benevo- 
lence and  kind-heartedness." 


It  seems  strange 


m 


I  wonder  what  soured  him  on  Sydney 
that  a  pleasing  degree  of  three  or  four 
lingers  of  respectful  familiarity  should  till 
a  man  up  and  give  him  the  panegyrics  so 
bad.  For  he  has  them,  the  worst  way  — 
any  one  can  see  that.  A  man  who  is 
perfectly  at  himself  does  not  throw  cold 
detraction  at  people's  architectural  pro- 
ductions and  picturesque  surroundings. 
and  let  on  that  what  he  prefers  is  a  Dub- 
bonese  dust-storm  and  a  pleasing  degree 
of  respectful  familiarity  No,  these  are 
old,  old  symptoms ;  and  when  they  ap- 
pear we  know  that  the  man  has  got  the  panegyrics. 

Sydney  has  a  population  of  400,000.  When  a  stranger 
from  America  steps  ashore  there,  the  first  thing  that  strikes 
him  is  that  the  place  is  eight  or  nine  times  as  large  as  he  was 
expecting  it  to  be ;  and  the  next  thing  that  strikes  him  is  that 
it  is  an  English  city  with  American  trimmings.  Later  on,  in 
Melbourne,  he  will  find  the  American  trimmings  still  more  in 
evidence;  there,  even  the  architecture  will  often  suggest 
America;  a  photograph  of  its  stateliest  business  street  might 
be  passed  upon  him  for  a  picture  of  the  finest  street  in  a  large 
American  city.    I  was  told  that  the  most  of  the  line  residences 


HEEDLESS    MAN. 


126  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

were  the  city  residences  of  squatters.  The  name  seemed  out 
of  focus  somehow.  When  the  explanation  came,  it  offered  a 
new  instance  of  the  curious  changes  which  words,  as  well  as  ani- 
mals, undergo  through  change  of  habitat  and  climate.  With 
us,  when  you  speak  of  a  squatter  you  are  always  supposed  to 
be  speaking  of  a  poor  man,  but  in  Australia  when  you  speak 
of  a  squatter  you  are  supposed  to  be  speaking  of  a  millionaire ; 
in  America  the  word  indicates  the  possessor  of  a  few  acres  and 
a  doubtful  title,  in  Australia  it  indicates  a  man  whose  land- 
front  is  as  long  as  a  railroad,  and  whose  title  has  been  per- 
fected in  one  way  or  another ;  in  America  the  word  indicates 
a  man  who  owns  a  dozen  head  of  live  stock,  in  Australia  a 
man  who  owns  anywhere  from  fifty  thousand  up  to  half  a 
million  head ;  in  America  the  word  indicates  a  man  who  is 
obscure  and  not  important,  in  Australia  a  man  who  is  promi- 
nent and  of  the  first  importance ;  in  America  you  take  off 
your  hat  to  no  squatter,  in  Australia  you  do ;  in  America  if 
your  uncle  is  a  squatter  you  keep  it  dark,  in  Australia  you  ad- 
vertise it ;  in  America  if  your  friend  is  a  squatter  nothing 
comes  of  it,  but  with  a  squatter  for  your  friend  in  Australia 
you  may  sup  with  kings  if  there  are  any  around. 

In  Australia  it  takes  about  two  acres  and  a  half  of  pasture- 
land  (some  people  say  twice  as  many),  to  support  a  sheep ;  and 
when  the  squatter  has  half  a  million  sheep  his  private  domain 
is  about  as  large  as  Ehode  Island,  to  speak  in  general  terms. 
His  annual  wool  crop  may  be  worth  a  quarter  or  a  half  million 
dollars. 

He  will  live  in  a  palace  in  Melbourne  or  Sydney  or  some 
other  of  the  large  cities,  and  make  occasional  trips  to  his 
sheep-kingdom  several  hundred  miles  away  in  the  great  plains 
to  look  after  his  battalions  of  riders  and  shepherds  and  other 
hands.  He  has  a  commodious  dwelling  out  there,  and  if  he 
approve  of  you  he  will  invite  you  to  spend  a  week  in  it,  and 


SPLATTER    LIFE. 


THE  AUSTRALIAN  SQUATTER.  129 

will  make  you  at  home  and  comfortable,  and  let  you  see  the 
great  industrv  in  all  its  details,  and  feed  you  and  slake  you 
and  smoke  you  with  the  best  that  money  can  buy. 

On  at  least  one  of  these  vast  estates  there  is  a  considerable 
town,  with  all  the  various  businesses  and  occupations  that  go 
to  make  an  important  town;  and  the  town  and  the  land  it 
stands  upon  are  the  property  of  the  squatters.  I  have  seen 
that  town,  and  it  is  not  unlikely  that  there  are  other  squatter- 
owned  towns  in  Australia. 

Australia  supplies  the  world  not  only  with  line  wool,  but 
with  mutton  also.  The  modern  invention  of  cold  storage  and 
its  application  in  ships  has  created  this  great  trade.  In  Syd- 
ney I  visited  a  huo;e  establishment  where  they  kill  and  clean 
and  solidly  freeze  a  thousand  sheep  a  day,  for  shipment  to 
England. 

The  Australians  did  not  seem  to  me  to  differ  noticeably 
from  Americans,  either  in  dress,  carriage,  ways,  pronunciation, 
inflections,  or  general  appearance.  There  were  fleeting  and 
subtle  suggestions  of  their  English  origin,  but  these  were  not 
pronounced  enough,  as  a  rule,  to  catch  one's  attention.  The 
people  have  easy  and  cordial  manners  from  the  beginning  — 
from  the  moment  that  the  introduction  is  completed.  This  is 
American.  To  put  it  in  another  way,  it  is  English  friendliness 
with  the  English  shyness  and  self-consciousness  left  out. 

Now  and  then  —  but  this  is  rare  —  one  hears  such  words  as 
piper  for  paper,  lydy  for  lady,  and  tyhle  for  table  fall  from 
lips  whence  one  would  not  expect  such  pronunciations  to  come. 
There  is  a  superstition  prevalent  in  Sydney  that  this  pronunci- 
ation is  an  Australianism,  but  people  who  have  been  "home" 
—  as  the  native  reverently  and  lovingly  calls  England  —  know 
better.  It  is  "  costermonger."  All  over  Australasia  this  pro- 
nunciation is  nearly  as  common  among  servants  as  it  is  in  Lon- 
don among  the  uneducated  and  the  partially  educated  of  all 


130  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

sorts  and  conditions  of  people.  That  mislaid  y  is  rather  strik- 
ing when  a  person  gets  enough  of  it  into  a  short  sentence  to 
enable  it  to  show  up.  In  the  hotel  in  Sydney  the  chamber- 
maid said,  one  morning  — 

"The  tyble  is  set,  and  here  is  the  piper;  and  if  the  lydy  is 
ready  I'll  tell  the  wyter  to  bring  up  the  breakfast/' 

I  have  made  passing  mention,  a  moment  ago,  of  the  native 
Australasian's  custom  of  speaking  of  England  as  "  home."  It 
was  always  pretty  to  hear  it,  and  often  it  was  said  in  an  un- 
consciously caressing  way  that  made  it  touching;  in  a  way 
which  transmuted  a  sentiment  into  an  embodiment,  and  made 
one  seem  to  see  Australasia  as  a  young  girl  stroking  mother 
England's  old  gray  head. 

In  the  Australasian  home  the  table-talk  is  vivacious  and 
unembarrassed ;  it  is  without  stiffness  or  restraint.  This  does 
not  remind  one  of  England  so  much  as  it  does  of  America. 
But  Australasia  is  strictly  democratic,  and  reserves  and  re- 
straints  are  things  that  are  bred  by  differences  of  rank. 

English  and  colonial  audiences  are  phenomenally  alert  and 
responsive.  Where  masses  of  people  are  gathered  together  in 
England,  caste  is  submerged,  and  with  it  the  English  reserve; 
equality  exists  for  the  moment,  and  every  individual  is  free; 
so  free  from  any  consciousness  of  fetters,  indeed,  that  the  Eng- 
lishman's habit  of  watching  himself  and  guarding  himself 
against  any  injudicious  exposure  of  his  feelings  is  forgotten, 
and  falls  into  abeyance  —  and  to  such  a  degree  indeed,  that  he 
will  bravely  applaud  all  by  himself  if  he  wants  to  —  an  exhi- 
bition of  daring  which  is  unusual  elsewhere  in  the  world. 

But  it  is  hard  to  move  a  new  English  acquaintance  when  he 
is  by  himself,  or  when  the  company  present  is  small,  and  new 
to  him.  He  is  on  his  guard  then,  and  his  natural  reserve  is  to 
the  fore.  This  has  given  him  the  false  reputation  of  being 
without    humor    and    without    the    appreciation    of    humor. 


ENGLISH  AND  AMERICAN  HUMOR. 


131 


Americans  are  not  Englishmen,  and  American  humor  is  not 
English  humor:  but  both  the  American  and  his  humor  had 
their  origin  in  England,  and  have  merely  undergone  changes 
brought  about  by  changed  conditions  and  a  new  environment. 
About  the  best  humorous  speeches  I  have  yet  heard  were  a 
couple  that  were  made  in  Australia  at  club  suppers  —  one  of 
them  by  an  Englishman,  the  other  by  an  Australian. 


A   DIFFEKENCE. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

There  are  those  who  scoff  at  the  schoolboy,  calling  him  frivolous  and  shallow 
Yet  it  was  the  schoolboy  who  said  "  Faith  is  believing  what  you  know  ain't  so." 

— PiuhVnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

IN  Sydney  I  had  a  large  dream,  and  in  the  course  of  talk  I 
told  it  to  a  missionary  from  India  who  was  on  his  way  to 
visit  some  relatives  in  New  Zealand.  I  dreamed  that  the 
visible  universe  is  the  physical  person  of  God ;  that  the  vast 
worlds  that  we  see  twinkling  millions  of  miles  apart  in  the  fields 
of  space  are  the  blood  corpuscles  in  His  veins;  and  that  we 
and  the  other  creatures  are  the  microbes  that  charge  with 
multitudinous  life  the  corpuscles. 

Mr.  X.,  the  missionary,  considered  the  dream  awhile,  then 
said : 

"It  is  not  surpassable  for  magnitude,  since  its  metes  and  bounds  are  the 
metes  and  bounds  of  the  universe  itself  ;  and  it  seems  to  me  that  it  almost  ac- 
counts for  a  thing  which  is  otherwise  nearly  unaccountable  —  the  origin  of 
the  sacred  legends  of  the  Hindoos.  Perhaps  they  dream  them,  and  then  hon- 
estly believe  them  to  be  divine  revelations  of  fact.  It  looks  like  that,  for  the 
legends  are  built  on  so  vast  a  scale  that  it  does  not  seem  reasonable  that 
plodding  priests  would  happen  upon  such  colossal  fancies  when  awake." 

He  told  some  of  the  legends,  and  said  that  they  were  im- 
plicitly believed  by  all  classes  of  Hindoos,  including  those  of 
high  social  position  and  intelligence ;  and  he  said  that  this 
universal  credulity  was  a  great  hindrance  to  the  missionary  in 
his  work.     Then  he  said  something  like  this  : 

"At  home,  people  wonder  why  Christianity  does  not  make  faster  progress 
in  India.  They  hear  that  the  Indians  believe  easily,  and  that  they  have  a 
natural  trust  in  miracles  and  give  them  a  hospitable  reception.  Then  they 
argue  like  this  :  since  the  Indian  believes  easily,  place  Christianity  before  them 
and  they  must  believe  ;  confirm  its  truths  by  the  biblical  miracles,  and  they 
will  no  longer  doubt.     The  natural  deduction  is,  that  as  Christianity  makes 

(132) 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  MAKES   SLOW  PROGRESS.  133 

but  indifferent  progress  in  India,  the  fault  is  with  us  :  we  are  not  fortunate  in 
presenting  the  doctrines  and  the  miracles. 

"  But  the  truth  is,  we  .are  not  by  any  means  so  well  equipped  as  they  think. 
We  have  not  the  easy  task  that  they  imagine.  To  use  a  military  figure,  we 
are  sent  against  the  enemy  with  good  powder  in  our  guns,  but  only  wads  for 
bullets  ;  that  is  to  say,  our  miracles  are  not  effective  ;  the  Hindoos  do  not  care 
for  them  ;  they  have  more  extraordinary  ones  of  their  own.  All  the  details  of 
their  own  religion  are  proven  and  established  by  miracles  ;  the  details  of  ours 
must  be  proven  in  the  same  way.  When  I  first  began  my  work  in  India  I 
greatly  underestimated  the  difficulties  thus  put  upon  my  task.  A  correction 
was  not  long  in  coming.  I  thought  as  our  friends  think  at  home  —  that  to 
prepare  my  childlike  wonder-lovers  to  listen  with  favor  to  my  grave  message 
I  only  needed  to  charm  the  way  to  it  with  wonders,  marvels,  miracles.  With 
full  confidence  I  told  the  wonders  performed  by  Samson,  the  strongest  man 
that  had  ever  lived  —  for  so  I  called  him. 

"  At  first  I  saw  lively  anticipation  and  strong  interest  in  the  faces  of  my 
people,  but  as  I  moved  along  from  incident  to  incident  of  the  great  story,  I 
was  distressed  to  see  that  I  was  steadily  losing  the  sympathy  of  my  audience. 
I  could  not  understand  it.  It  was  a  surprise  to  me,  and  a  disappointment. 
Before  I  was  through,  the  fading  sympathy  had  paled  to  indifference. 
Thence  to  the  end  the  indifference  remained  ;  I  was  not  able  to  make  any  im- 
pression upon  it. 

"A  good  old  Hindoo  gentleman  told  me  where  my  trouble  lay.  He 
said  '  We  Hindoos  recognize  a  god  by  the  work  of  his  hands —  we  accept  no 
other  testimony.  Apparently,  this  is  also  the  rule  with  you  Christians.  And 
we  know  when  a  man  has  his  power  from  a  god  by  the  fact  that  he  does 
things  which  he  could  not  do,  as  a  man,  with  the  mere  powers  of  a  man. 
Plainly,  this  is  the  Christian's  way  also,  of  knowing  when  a  man  is  working 
by  a  god's  power  and  not  by  his  own.  You  saw  that  there  was  a  supernatural 
property  in  the  hair  of  Samson  ;  for  you  perceived  that  when  his  hair  was 
gone  he  was  as  other  men.  It  is  our  way,  as  I  have  said.  There  are  many 
nations  in  the  world,  and  each  group  of  nations  has  its  own  gods,  and  will  pay 
no  worship  to  the  gods  of  the  others.  Each  group  believes  its  own  gods  to 
be  strongest,  and  it  will  not  exchange  them  except  for  gods  that  shall  be  proven 
to  be  their  superiors  in  power.  Man  is  but  a  wTeak  creature,  and  needs  the 
help  of  gods  —  he  cannot  do  without  it.  Shall  he  place  his  fate  in  the  hands 
of  weak  gods  when  there  may  be  stronger  ones  to  be  found  ?  That  would  be 
foolish.  No.  if  he  hear  of  gods  that  are  stronger  than  his  own,  he  should  not 
turn  a  deaf  ear,  for  it  is  not  a  light  matter  that  is  at  stake.  How  then  shall 
he  determine  which  gods  are  the  stronger,  his  own  or  those  that  preside  over 
the  concerns  of  other  nations  V  By  comparing  the  known  works  of  his  own 
gods  with  the  works  of  those  others  ;  there  is  no  other  way.  Now,  wdien  we 
make  this  comparison,  we  are  not  drawn  towards  the  gods  of  any  other  nation. 
Our  gods  are  shown  by  their  works  to  be  the  strongest,  the  most  powerful. 
The  Christians  have  but  few  gods,  and  they  are  new  —  new,  and  not  strong, 
as  it  seems  to  us.  They  will  increase  in  number,  it  is  true,  for  this  has  hap- 
pened with  all  gods,  but  that  time  is  far  away,  many  ages  and  decades  of 


134  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

ages  away,  for  gods  multiply  slowly,  as  is  meet  for  beings  to  whom  a  thou- 
sand years  is  but  a  single  moment.  Our  own  gods  have  been  born  millions 
of  years  apart.  The  process  is  slow,  the  gathering  of  strength  and  power  is 
similarly  slow.  In  the  slow  lapse  of  the  ages  the  steadily  accumulating  power 
of  our  gods  has  at  last  become  prodigious.  We  have  a  thousand  proofs  of 
this  in  the  colossal  character  of  their  personal  acts  and  the  acts  of  ordinary  men 
to  whom  they  have  given  supernatural  qualities.  To  your  Samson  was  given 
supernatural  power,  and  when  he  broke  the  withes,  and  slew  the  thousands 
with  the  jawbone  of  an  ass,  and  carried  away  the  gates  of  the  city  upon  his 
shoulders,  you  were  amazed  —  and  also  awed,  for  you  recognized  the  divine 
source  of  his  strength.  But  it  could  not  profit  to  place  these  things  before 
your  Hindoo  congregation  and  invite  their  wonder  ;  for  they  would  compare 
them  with  the  deed  done  by  Hanuman,  when  our  gods  infused  their  divine 
strength  into  his  muscles;  and  they  would  be  indifferent  to  them —as  you 
saw.  In  the  old,  old  times,  ages  and  ages  gone  by,  when  our  god  Rama  was 
warring  with  the  demon  god  of  Ceylon,  Rama  bethought  him  to  bridge  the 
sea  and  connect  Ceylon  with  India,  so  that  his  armies  might  pass  easily 
over  ;  and  he  sent  his  general.  Hanuman,  inspired  like  your  own  Samson  with 
divine  strength,  to  bring  the  materials  for  the  bridge.  In  two  days  Hanuman 
strode  fifteen  hundred  miles,  to  the  Himalayas,  and  took  upon  his  shoulder  a 
range  of  those  lofty  mountains  two  hundred  miles  long,  and  started  with  it 
toward  Ceylon.  It  was  in  the  night ;  and,  as  he  passed  along  the  plain,  the 
people  of  Govardhun  heard  the  thunder  of  his  tread  and  felt  the  earth  rocking 
under  it,  and  they  ran  out,  and  there,  with  their  snowy  summits  piled  to 
heaven,  they  saw  the  Himalayas  passing  by.  And  as  this  huge  continent  swept 
along  overshadowing  the  earth,  upon  its  slopes  they  discerned  the  twinkling 
lights  of  a  thousand  sleeping  villages,  and  it  was  as  if  the  constellations  were 
filing  in  procession  through  the  sky.  AVhile  they  wTere  looking,  Hanuman 
stumbled,  and  a  small  ridge  of  red  sandstone  twenty  miles  long  was  jolted 
loose  and  fell.  Half  of  its  length  has  wasted  away  in  the  course  of  the  ages, 
but  the  other  ten  miles  of  it  remain  in  the  plain  by  Govardhun  to  this  day  as 
proof  of  the  might  of  the  inspiration  of  our  gods.  You  must  know,  your- 
self, that  Hanuman  could  not  have  carried  those  mountains  to  Ceylon  except 
by  the  strength  of  the  gods.  You  know  that  it  was  not  done  by  his  own 
strength,  therefore,  you  know  that  it  was  done  by  the  strength  of  the  gods, 
j  ust  as  you  know  that  Samson  carried  the  gates  by  the  divine  strength  and  not  by 
his  own.  I  think  you  must  concede  two  things  :  First,  That  in  carrying  the 
gates  of  the  city  upon  his  shoulders,  Samson  did  not  establish  the  supe- 
riority of  his  gods  over  ours  ;  secondly,  That  his  feat  is  not  supported  by  any 
but  verbal  evidence,  while  Hanuman's  is  not  only  supported  by  verbal  evi- 
dence, but  this  evidence  is  confirmed,  established,  proven,  by  visible,  tangi- 
ble evidence,  which  is  the  strongest  of  all  testimony.  We  have  the  sandstone 
ridge,  and  while  it  remains  we  cannot  doubt,  and  shall  not.  Have  you  the 
gates  ? ' " 


HAM-MAN  MOVING  THE  MOUNTAINS. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

The  timid  man  yearns  for  full  value  and  asks  a  tenth.  The  bold  man  strikes 
for  double  value  and  compromises  on  par. — Puddn'liead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

XE  is  sure  to  be  struck  by  the  liberal  way  in  which 
Australasia  spends  money  upon  public  works  —  such 
as  legislative  buildings,  town  halls,  hospitals,  asylums, 
parks,  and  botanical  gardens.  I  should  say  that  where  minor 
towns  in  America  spend  a  hundred  dollars  on  the  town  hall 
and  on  public  parks  and  gardens,  the  like  towns  in  Australasia 
spend  a  thousand.  And  I  think  that  this  ratio  will  hold  good 
in  the  matter  of  hospitals,  also.  I  have  seen  a  costly  and  well- 
equipped,  and  architecturally  handsome  hospital  in  an  Aus- 
tralian village  of  fifteen  hundred  inhabitants.  It  was  built  by 
private  funds  furnished  by  the  villagers  and  the  neighboring 
planters,  and  its  running  expenses  were  drawn  from  the  same 
sources.  I  suppose  it  would  be  hard  to  match  this  in  any 
countrv.     This  village  was  about  to  close  a  contract  for  light- 

^  ©  © 

ing  its  streets  with  the  electric  light,  when  I  was  there.  That 
is  ahead  of  London.  London  is  still  obscured  by  gas  —  gas 
pretty  widely  scattered,  too,  in  some  of  the  districts ;  so  widely 
indeed,  that  except  on  moonlight  nights  it  is  difficult  to  find 
the  gas  lamps. 

The  botanical  garden  of  Sydney  covers  thirty-eight  acres, 
beautifully  laid  out  and  rich  with  the  spoil  of  all  the  lands  and 
all  the  climes  of  the  world.     The  garden  is  on  high  ground  in 

©  ©  © 

the  middle  of  the  town,  overlooking  the  great  harbor,  and  it 

adjoins  the  spacious  grounds  of  Government  House  —  fifty-six 

acres ;  and  at  hand  also,  is   a   recreation   ground    containing 

(137) 


13S  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

eighty-two  acres.  In  addition,  there  are  the  zoological  gardens, 
the  race-course,  and  the  great  cricket-grounds  where  the  inter- 
national matches  are  played.  Therefore  there  is  plenty  of 
room  for  reposeful  lazying  and  lounging,  and  for  exercise  too, 
for  such  as  like  that  kind  of  work. 

There  are  four  specialties  attainable  in  the  way  of  social 
pleasure.  If  you  enter  your  name  on  the  Visitor's  Book  at 
Government  House  you  will  receive  an  invitation  to  the  next 
ball  that  takes  place  there,  if  nothing  can  be  proven  against 
you.  And  it  will  be  very  pleasant ;  for  you  will  see  everybody 
except  the  Governor,  and  add  a  number  of  acquaintances  and 
several  friends  to  your  list.  The  Governor  will  be  in  England. 
He  always  is.  The  continent  has  four  or  five  governors,  and  I 
do  not  know  how  many  it  takes  to  govern  the  outlying 
archipelago  ;  but  anyway  you  will  not  see  them.  When  they 
are  appointed  they  come  out  from  England  and  get  inaugurated, 
and  give  a  ball,  and  help  pray  for  rain,  and  get  aboard  ship 
and  go  back  home.  And  so  the  Lieutenant-Governor  has  to 
do  all  the  work.  I  was  in  Australasia  three  months  and  a  half, 
and  saw  only  one  Governor.     The  others  were  at  home. 

The  Australasian  Governor  would  not  be  so  restless,  per- 
haps, if  he  had  a  war,  or  a  veto,  or  something  like  that  to  call 
for  his  reserve-energies,  but  he  hasn't.  There  isn't  any  Avar, 
and  there  isn't  any  veto  in  his  hands.  And  so  there  is  really 
little  or  nothing  doing  in  his  line.  The  country  governs  itself, 
and  prefers  to  do  it ;  and  is  so  strenuous  about  it  and  so  jealous 
of  its  independence  that  it  grows  restive  if  even  the  Imperial 
Government  at  home  proposes  to  help;  and  so  the  Imperial 
veto,  while  a  fact,  is  vet  mainly  a  name. 

Thus  the  Governor's  functions  are  much  more  limited  than 
are  a  Governor's  functions  with  us.  And  therefore  more 
fatiguing.  He  is  the  apparent  head  of  the  State,  he  is  the  real 
head  of  Society.     He  represents  culture,  refinement,  elevated 


SYDNEY'S  FOUR  ENTERTAINMENTS. 


THE   SIGHTS   IN   SYDNEY.  141 

sentiment,  polite  life,  religion  ;  and  by  his  example  lie  propa- 
gates these,  and  they  spread  and  flourish  and  bear  good  fruit. 
He  creates  the  fashion,  and  leads  it.  His  ball  is  the  ball  of 
balls,  and  his  countenance  makes  the  horse-race  thrive. 

He  is  usually  a  lord,  and  this  is  well ;  for  his  position  com- 
pels him  to  lead  an  expensive  life,  and  an  English  lord  is 
generally  well  equipped  for  that. 

Another  of  Sydney's  social  pleasures  is  the  visit  to  the 
Admiralty  House ;  which  is  nobly  situated  on  high  ground 
overlooking  the  water.  The  trim  boats  of  the  service  convey 
the  guests  thither ;  and  there,  or  on  board  the  flag-ship,  they 
have  the  duplicate  of  the  hospitalities  of  Government  House. 
The  Admiral  commanding  a  station  in  British  waters  is  a 
magnate  of  the  first  degree,  and  he  is  sumptuously  housed,  as 
becomes  the  dignity  of  his  office. 

Third  in  the  list  of  special  pleasures  is  the  tour  of  the 
harbor  in  a  fine  steam  pleasure-launch.  Your  richer  friends 
own  boats  of  this  kind,  and  they  will  invite  you,  and  the  joys 
of  the  trip  will  make  a  long  day  seem  short. 

And  finallv  comes  the  shark-fishing.  Svdnev  Harbor  is 
populous  with  the  finest  breeds  of  man-eating  sharks  in  the 
world.  Some  people  make  their  living  catching  them ;  for  the 
Government  pays  a  cash  bounty  on  them.  The  larger  the 
shark  the  larger  the  bounty,  and  some  of  the  sharks  are  twentv 
feet  long.  You  not  only  get  the  bounty,  but  everything  that 
is  in  the  shark  belongs  to  you.  Sometimes  the  contents  are 
quite  valuable. 

The  shark  is  the  swiftest  fish  that  swims.  The  speed  of 
the  fastest  steamer  afloat  is  poor  compared  to  his.  And  he  is 
a  great  gad-about,  and  roams  far  and  wide  in  the  oceans,  and 
visits  the  shores  of  all  of  them,  ultimately,  in  the  course  of  his 
restless  excursions.  I  have  a  tale  to  tell  now,  which  has  not 
as  yet  been  in  print.     In   IS  TO  a  young  stranger  arrived  in 


142  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

Sydney,  and  set  about  finding  something  to  do ;  but  he  knew 
no  one,  and  brought  no  recommendations,  and  the  result  was 
that  he  got  no  employment.  He  had  aimed  high,  at  first,  but 
as  time  and  his  money  wasted  away  he  grew  less  and  less 
exacting,  until  at  last  he  was  willing  to  serve  in  the  humblest 
capacities  if  so  he  might  get  bread  and  shelter.  But  luck  was 
still  against  him ;  he  could  find  no  opening  of  any  sort. 
Finally  his  money  was  all  gone.  He  walked  the  streets  all  day, 
thinking ;  he  walked  them  all  night,  thinking,  thinking,  and 
growing  hungrier  and  hungrier.  At  dawn  he  found  himself 
well  away  from  the  town  and  drifting  aimlessly  along  the 
harbor  shore.  As  he  was  passing  by  a  nodding  shark-fisher 
the  man  looked  up  and  said  — 

"  Say,  young  fellow,  take  my  line  a  spell,  and  change  my 
luck  for  me." 

"  How  do  you  know  I  won't  make  it  worse  ? " 
"  Because  you  can't.     It  has  been  at  its  worst  all  night, 
If  you  can't  change  it,  no  harm's  done ;  if  you  do  change  it, 
it's  for  the  better,  of  course.     Come." 
"  All  right,  what  will  you  give  ? " 
"  I'll  give  you  the  shark,  if  you  catch  one." 
"  And  I  will  eat  it,  bones  and  all.     Give  me  the  line." 
"  Here  you  are.     I  will  get  away,  now,  for  awhile,  so  that 
my  luck  won't  spoil  yours ;  for  many  and  many  a  time  I've 
noticed  that  if  —  there,  pull  in,  pull  in,  man,  you've  got  a  bite! 
/  knew  how  it  would  be.     Why,  I  knew  you  for  a  born  son  of 
luck  the  minute  I  saw  you.     All  right  —  he's  landed." 

It  was  an  unusually  large  shark  —  "  a  full  nineteen-footer," 
the  fisherman  said,  as  he  laid  the  creature  open  with  his  knife. 
"  Now  you  rob  him,  young  man,  while  I  step  to  my  hamper 
for  a  fresh  bait.  There's  generally  something  in  them  worth 
going  for.  You've  changed  my  luck,  you  see.  But  my  good- 
ness, I  hope  you  haven'i  changed  your  own." 


NO   USE   FOR  THE   SHARK.  143 

"Oh,  it  wouldn't  matter;  don't  worry  about  that.  Get 
your  bait.     I'll  rob  him." 

"When  the  fisherman  got  back  the  young  man  had  just 
finished  washing  his  hands  in  the  hay,  and  was  starting  away. 

"  "What,  you  are  not  going  \ " 

"  Yes.     Good-bye." 

"But  what  about  your  shark  \  " 

"  The  shark  (     "Why,  what  use  is  he  to  me  ? " 

"  "What  use  is  he  \  I  like  that.  Don't  you  know  that  we 
can  go  and  report  him  to  Government,  and  you'll  get  a  clean 
solid  eighty  shillings  bounty?  Hard  cash,  you  know.  "What 
do  you  think  about  it  now  f  " 

"  Oh,  well,  you  can  collect  it." 

"And  keep  it  i     Is  that  what  you  mean?" 

"  Yes." 

""Well,  this  is  odd.  You're  one  of  those  sort  they  call 
eccentrics,  I  judge.  The  saying  is.  you  mustn't  judge  a  man 
bv  his  clothes,  and  I'm  believing  it  now.  "Whv  yours  are  look- 
ing  just  ratty,  don't  you  know ;  and  yet  you  must  be  rich." 

"  I  am." 

The  young  man  walked  slowly  back  to  the  town,  deeply 
musing  as  he  went.  He  halted  a  moment  in  front  of  the  best 
restaurant,  then  glanced  at  his  clothes  and  passed  on,  and  got 
his  breakfast  at  a  "  stand-up."  There  was  a  good  deal  of  it, 
and  it  cost  five  shillings.  He  tendered  a  sovereign,  got  his 
change,  glanced  at  his  silver,  muttered  to  himself,  "  There  isnt 
enough  to  buy  clothes  with,"  and  went  his  way. 

At  half-past  nine  the  richest  wool-broker  in  Sydney  was  sit- 
ting in  his  morning-room  at  home,  settling  his  breakfast  with 
the  morning  paper.     A  servant  put  his  head  in  and  said : 

"  There's  a  sundowner  at  the  door  wants  to  see  you,  sir."1 

""What  do  you  bring  that  kind  of  a  message  here  for? 
Send  him  about  his  business." 


144  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"  He  won't  go,  sir.     I've  tried." 

"  He  won't  go?  That's  —  why,  that's  unusual.  He's  one 
of  two  things,  then :  he's  a  remarkable  person,  or  he's  crazy. 
Is  he  crazy  ? " 

"  No,  sir.     He  don't  look  it." 

k-  Then  he's  remarkable.     What  does  he  say  he  wants  ? " 

"  He  won't  tell,  sir  ;  only  says  it's  very  important." 

"  And  won't  go.     Does  he  say  he  won't  go  % " 

"  Says  he'll  stand  there  till  he  sees  you,  sir,  if  it's  all  day." 

"  And  yet  isn't  crazy.     Show  him  up." 

The  sundowner  was  shown  in.  The  broker  said  to  himself, 
"  No,  he's  not  crazy ;  that  is  easy  to  see ;  so  he  must  be  the 
other  thing." 

Then  aloud,  "  Well,  my  good  fellow,  be  quick  about  it ; 
don't  waste  any  words ;  what  is  it  you  want  ?  " 

"  I  want  to  borrow  a  hundred  thousand  pounds." 

"  Scott !  (It's  a  mistake  ;  he  is  crazy.  .  .  .  No  —  he 
cant  be --not  with  that  eye.)  Why,  you  take  my  breath 
awav.     Come,  who  are  vou  % " 

"  Nobody  that  you  know." 

"  What  is  your  name  \ " 

"  Cecil  Ehodes." 

"  No,  I  don't  remember  hearing  the  name  before.  Now 
then- — iust  for  curiosity's  sake  —  what  has  sent  vou  to  me  on 
this  extraordinary  errand  \  " 

"  The  intention  to  make  a  hundred  thousand  pounds  for 
you  and  as  much  for  myself  within  the  next  sixty  days." 

"Well,  well,  well.  It  is  the  most  extraordinary  idea  that  1 
—  sit  down  —  vou  interest  me.  And  somehow  vou  —  well, 
vou  fascinate  me ;  I  think  that  that  is  about  the  word.  And  it 
isn't  your  proposition- — no,  that  doesn't  fascinate  me;  it's 
something  else,  I  don't  quite  know  what ;  something  that's 
born  in  you  and  oozes  out  of  you,  I  suppose.     Now  then  - 


THE   SCHEME.  14;, 

just  for  curiosity's  sake  again,  nothing  more :  as  I  understand 
it,  it  is  your  desire  to  bor  —  " 

"  I  said  ink  ntion" 

"  Pardon,  so  you  did.  I  thought  it  was  an  unheedful  use  of 
the  word  —  an  unheedful  valuing  of  its  strength,  you  know." 

"  I  knew  its  strength/' 

•k  Well,  I  must  say  --but  look  here,  let  me  walk  the  floor  a 
little,  my  mind  is  getting  into  a  sort  of  whirl,  though  you 
don't  seem  disturbed  any.  (Plainly  this  young  fellow  isn't 
crazy  ;  but  as  to  his  being  remarkable  —  well,  really  he  amounts 
to  that,  and  something  over.)  Now  then,  I  believe  I  am  be- 
yond the  reach  of  further  astonishment.  Strike,  and  spare 
not.     What  is  your  scheme  ? " 

"To  buy  the  wool  crop  —  deliverable  in  sixty  days." 

"What,  the  whole  of  it?" 

^  The  whole  of  it." 

"  No,  I  was  not  quite  out  of  the  reach  of  surprises,  after 
all.  Why,  how  you  talk!  l)o  you  know  what  our  crop  is 
going  to  foot  up  \  " 

"Two  and  a  half  million  sterling  —  maybe  a  little  more." 

"Well,  vou've  £'ot  your  statistics  right,  anv  way.  Now, 
then,  do  you  know  what  the  margins  would  foot  up,  to  buy  it 
at  sixty  days  \  " 

"The  hundred  thousand  pounds  I  came  here  to  get." 

"Right,  once  more.  Well,  dear  me,  just  to  see  what  would 
happen,  I  wish  you  had  the  money.  And  if  you  had  it,  what 
would  you  do  with  it  \ " 

"  I  shall  make  two  hundred  thousand  pounds  out  of  it  in 
sixty  days.*' 

"  You  mean,  of  course,  that  you  might  make  it  if  — ' 

"I  said  'shall'." 

"  Yes,  by  George,  you  did  say  '  shall ' !     You  are  the  most 

definite  devil  I  ever  saw,  in  the  matter  of  language.     Dear, 
10 


14H  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

dear,  dear,  look  here !  Definite  speech  means  clarity  of  mind. 
Upon  my  word  I  believe  you've  got  what  you  believe  to  be  a 
rational  reason  for  venturing  into  this  house,  an  entire  stranger, 
on  this  wild  scheme  of  buying  the  wool  crop  of  an  entire 
colony  on  speculation.  Bring  it  out-- 1  am  prepared  —  accli- 
matized, if  I  may  use  the  word.  117///  would  you  buy  the 
crop,  and  why  would  you  make  that  sum  out  of  it  \  That  is  to 
sav,  what  makes  vou  think  you  —  " 

"  I  don't  think  —  I  know." 

"  Definite  again,     How  do  you  know  \  " 

"  Because  France  has  declared  war  against  Germany,  and 
wool  has  gone  up  fourteen  per  cent,  in  London  and  is  still  rising." 

"Oh,  in-deed?  Now  then,  I've  got  you!  Such  a  thunder- 
bolt as  you  have  just  let  fly  ought  to  have  made  me  jump  out 
of  my  chair,  but  it  didn't  stir  me  the  least  little  bit,  you  see. 
And  for  a  very  simple  reason :  I  have  read  the  morning- 
paper.  You  can  look  at  it  if  you  want  to.  The  fastest  ship 
in  the  service  arrived  at  eleven  o'clock  last  night,  fifty  days  out 
from  London.  All  her  news  is  printed  here.  There  are  no 
war-clouds  anywhere ;  and  as  for  wool,  why,  it  is  the  low- 
spiritedest  commodity  in  the  English  market.  It  is  your  turn 
to  jump,  now.  .  .  .  Well,  why  don't  you  jump  '.  Why  do  you 
sit  there  in  that  placid  fashion,  when  —  " 

"  Because  I  have  later  news." 

"Later  news?  Oh,  come  —  later  news  than  fifty  days, 
brought  steaming  hot  from  London  by  the  —  " 

"  My  news  is  only  ten  days  old." 

"  Oh,  Mmirchausen,  hear  the  maniac  talk  !  Where  did  you 
get  it?" 

"  Got  it  out  of  a  shark." 

"Oh,  oh,  oh,  this  is  too  much!     Front!  call  the  police - 
bring  the  gun  --raise  the  town  !     All  the  asylums  in  Christen- 
dom have  broken  loose  in  the  single  person  of- 


"GOT   IT   OUT   OF   A   SHARK. 


CECIL   RHODES'    FIRST   FORTUNE.  H't 

"Sit  down!  And  collect  yourself.  Where  is  the  use  in 
getting  excited  \  Am  I  excited  (  There  is  nothing-  to  get 
excited  about.  When  I  make  a  statement  which  I  cannot 
prove,  it  will  be  time  enough  for  you  to  begin  to  offer  hospi- 
tality to  damaging  fancies  about  me  and  my  sanity.'' 

"  Oh,  a  thousand,  thousand  pardons !  I  ought  to  be 
ashamed  of  myself,  and  I  am  ashamed  of  myself  for  thinking 
that  a  little  bit  of  a  circumstance  like  sending  a  shark  to  Eng- 
land to  fetch  back  a  market  report  —  " 

"  What  does  your  middle  initial  stand  for,  sir  i  " 

"  Andrew.     What  are  you  writing; '.  " 

"  Wait  a  moment.  Proof  about  the  shark  —  and  another 
matter.     Only  ten  lines.     There  —  now  it  is  done.     Sign  it." 

"Many  thanks  —  many.  Let  me  see;  it  says  —  it  says  — 
oh,  come,  this  is  interesting!  Why  —  why  —  look  here! 
prove  what  you  say  here,  and  I'll  put  up  the  money,  and 
double  as  much,  if  necessary,  and  divide  the  winnings  with 
you,  half  and  half.  There,  now  -I've  signed;  make  your 
promise  good  if  you  can.  Show  me  a  copy  of  the  London 
Times  onlv  ten  days  old."" 

"  Here  it  is  —  and  with  it  these  buttons  and  a  memorandum 
book  that  belonged  to  the  man  the  shark  swallowed.  Swal- 
lowed him  in  the  Thames,  without  a  doubt ;  for  you  will  notice 
that  the  last  entry  in  the  book  is  dated  '  London,'  and  is  of  the 
same  date  as  the  Times,  and  says,  "}>er  confequentj  ber  $riege3= 
erflarung,  reife  icf>  beute  narft  ^eutcblanb  ab,  cutf  ba$  icfr  mcin  SeBen  auf 
bcm  2(ltar  mcinc-5  SanbcS  legen  mag' — as  clean  native  German  as 
anybody  can  put  upon  paper,  and  means  that  in  consequence 
of  the  declaration  of  war,  this  loyal  soul  is  leaving  for  home 
to-day,  to  fight.  And  he  did  leave,  too,  but  the  shark  had  him 
before  the  day  was  done,  poor  fellow." 

"  And  a  pity,  too.  But  there  are  times  for  mourning,  and 
we  will    attend  to  this   case  further  on ;    other  matters   are 


150  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

pressing,  now.  I  will  go  down  and  set  the  machinery  in 
motion  in  a  quiet  way  and  buy  the  crop.  It  will  cheer  the 
drooping  spirits  of  the  boys,  in  a  transitory  way.  Everything 
is  transitory  in  this  world.  Sixty  days  hence,  when  they  are 
called  to  deliver  the  goods,  they  will  think  they've  been  struck 
by  lightning.  But  there  is  a  time  for  mourning,  and  we  will 
attend  to  that  case  along  with  the  other  one.  Come  alone-,  I'll 
take  you  to  my  tailor.     What  did  you  say  your  name  is  '.  " 

"  Cecil  Rhodes." 

"  It  is  hard  to  remember.  However,  I  think  you  will  make 
it  easier  by  and  by,  if  you  live.  There  are  three  kinds  of  peo- 
ple —  Commonplace  Men.  Remarkable  Men,  and  Lunatics.  I'll 
classify  you  with  the  Remarkables,  and  take  the  chances." 

The  deal  went  through,  and  secured  to  the  young'  stranger 
the  first  fortune  he  ever  pocketed. 

The  people  of  Sydney  ought  to  be  afraid  of  the  sharks,  but 
for  some  reason  they  do  not  seem  to  be.  On  Saturdays  the 
young  men  go  out  in  their  boats,  and  sometimes  the  water  is 
fairly  covered  with  the  little  sails.  A  boat  upsets  now  and 
then,  by  accident,  a  result  of  tumultuous  skylarking-:  some- 
times  the  boys  upset  their  boat  for  fun  —  such  as  it  is  —  with 
sharks  visibly  waiting  around  for  just  such  an  occurrence. 
The  young  fellows  scramble  aboard  whole  —  sometimes  —  not 
always.  Tragedies  have  happened  more  than  once.  AVhile  I 
was  in  Sydney  it  was  reported  that  a  boy  fell  out  of  a  boat  in 
the  mouth  of  the  Paramatta  river  and  screamed  for  help  and 
a  boy  jumped  overboard  from  another  boat  to  save  him  from 
the  assembling  sharks ;  but  the  sharks  made  swift  work  with 
the  lives  of  both. 

The  government  pays  a  bounty  for  the  shark ;  to  get  the 
bounty  the  fishermen  bait  the  hook  or  the  seine  with  agreeable 
mutton  ;  the  news  spreads  and  the  sharks  come  from  all  over 
the  Pacific  Ocean  to  get  the  free  board.  In  time  the  shark 
culture  will  be  one  of  the  most  successful  things  in  the  colony. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

We  can  secure  other  people's  approval,  if  we  do  right  and  try  bard ;  but  our 
own  is  worth  a  hundred  of  it,  and  no  way  has  been  found  out  of  securing  that. 

— Pnd<r nhead  WUs.oil's  Xew  Calendar. 

JV  VI  y  health  had  broken  down  in  Xew  York  in  May;  it 
J  \  had  remained  in  a  doubtful  but  fairish  condition  dur- 
ing  a  succeeding  period  of  82  days;  it  broke  again 
on  the  Pacific.  It  broke  again  in  Sydney,  but  not  until  after 
I  had  had  a  good  outing,  and  had  also  rilled  my  lecture  en- 
gagements. This  latest  break  lost  me  the  chance  of  seeing 
Queensland.  In  the  circumstances,  to  go  north  toward  hotter 
weather  was  not  advisable. 

So  we  moved  south  with  a  westward  slant,  17  hours  by  rail 
to  the  capital  of  the  colony  of  Victoria,  Melbourne  —  that 
juvenile  city  of  sixty  years,  and  half  a  million  inhabitants. 
On  the  map  the  distance  looked  small;  but  that  is  a  trouble 
with  all  divisions  of  distance  in  such  a  vast  country  as  Aus- 
tralia. The  colony  of  Victoria  itself  looks  small  on  the  map  — 
looks  like  a  county,  in  fact  --  yet  it  is  about  as  large  as  Eng- 
land, Scotland,  and  Wales  combined.  Or,  to  get  another  focus 
upon  it,  it  is  just  So  times  as  large  as  the  state  of  Rhode  Island, 
and  one-third  as  large  as  the  State  of  Texas. 

Outside  of  Melbourne,  Victoria  seems  to  be  owned  by  a 
handful  of  squatters,  each  with  a  Rhode  Island  for  a  sheep  farm. 
That  is  the  impression  which  one  gathers  from  common  talk, 
yet  the  wool  industry  of  Victoria  is  by  no  means  so  great  as 
that  of  Xew  South  AVales.  The  climate  of  Victoria  is  favor- 
able to  other  great  industries  —  among  others,  wheat-growing 

and  the  making  of  wine. 

( 151 ) 


L52 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


AVe  took  the  train  at  Sydney  at  about  four  in  the  afternoon. 
It  was  American  in  one  way,  for  we  had  a  most  rational  sleep- 
ing car;  also  the  car  was  clean  and  line  and  new  -nothing 
about  it  to  suggest  the  rolling  stock  of  the  continent  of  Europe. 
But  our  baggage  was  weighed,  and  extra  weight  charged  for. 

©O     ©  ©  '  ©  © 

That  was  continental.  Continental  and  troublesome.  Any 
detail  of  railroading  that  is  not  troublesome  cannot  honorably 
be  described  as  continental. 

The  tickets  were  round-trip  ones  —  to  Melbourne,  and  clear 
to  Adelaide  in  South  Australia,  and  then  all  the  way  back 
to  Sydney.  Twelve  hundred  more  miles  than  we  really  ex- 
pected to  make;  but  then  as  the  round  trip  wouldn't  cost  much 
more  than  the  single  trip,  it  seemed  well  enough  to  buy  as 
many  miles  as  one  could  afford,  even  if  one  was  not  likely  to 
need  them.  A  human  being  has  a  natural  desire  to  have  more 
of  a  good  thing  than  he  needs. 


TIIK   ODDEST   TIIINii    IX    AUSTRALASIA. 


Now  comes  a  singular  thing :  the  oddest  thing,  the  strangest 
thing,  the  most  baffling  and  unaccountable  marvel  that  Aus- 
tralasia can  show.  At  the  frontier  between  New  South  Wales 
and  Victoria  our  multitude  of  passengers  were  routed  out  of 
their  snug  beds  by  lantern-light  in  the  morning  in  the  biting 


A  PARALYTIC   SCHEME.  153 

cold  of  a  high  altitude  to  change  cars  on  a  road  that  has  no 
break  in  it  from  Sydney  to  Melbourne!  Think  of  the  paraly- 
sis  of  intellect  that  gave  that  idea  birth;  imagine  the  boulder 
it  emerged  from  on  some  petrified  legislator's  shoulders. 

It  is  a  narrow-gauge  road  to  the  frontier,  and  a  broader 
crauare  thence  to  Melbourne.  The  two  governments  were  the 
builders  of  the  road  and  are  the  owners  of  it.  One  or  two 
reasons  are  given  for  this  curious  state  of  things.  One  is,  that 
it  represents  the  jealousy  existing  between  the  colonies  — 
the  two  most  important  colonies  of  Australasia.  "What  the 
other  one  is,  I  have  forgotten.  But  it  is  of  no  consequence. 
It  could  be  but  another  effort  to  explain  the  inexplicable. 

All  passengers  fret  at  the  double-gauge;  all  shippers  of 
freight  must  of  course  fret  at  it  ;  unnecessary  expense,  delay, 
and  annoyance  are  imposed  upon  everybody  concerned,  and  no 
one  is  benefited. 

Each  Australian  colony  fences  itself  off  from  its  neighbor 
with  a  custom-house.  Personally,  I  have  no  objection,  but  it 
must  be  a  good  deal  of  inconvenience  to  the  people.  We  have 
something  resembling  it  here  and  there  in  America,  but  it  goes 
by  another  name.  The  large  empire  of  the  Pacific  coast  requires 
a  world  of  iron  machinery,  and  could  manufacture  it  economic- 
all  v  on  the  spot  if  the  imposts  on  foreign  iron  were  removed. 
But  they  are  not.  Protection  to  Pennsylvania  and  Alabama 
forbids  it.  The  result  to  the  Pacific  coast  is  the  same  as  if 
there  were  several  rows  of  custom-fences  between  the  coast 
and  the  East.  Iron  carted  across  the  American  continent  at 
luxurious  railway  rates  would  be  valuable  enough  to  be  coined 
when  it  arrived. 

We  changed  cars.  This  was  at  Alburv.  And  it  was  there, 
I  think,  that  the  growing  day  and  the  early  sun  exposed  the 
distant  range  called  the  Blue  Mountains.  Accurately  named. 
"My  word!"  as  the  Australians  say,  but  it  was  a  stunning 


154  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

color,  that  blue.  Deep,  strong,  rich,  exquisite;  towering  and 
majestic  masses  of  blue  —  a  softly  luminous  blue,  a  smouldering- 
blue,  as  if  vaguely  lit  by  fires  within.  It  extinguished  the  blue 
of  the  sky --made  it  pallid  and  unwholesome,  whitey  and 
washed-out.     A  wonderful  color  —  just  divine. 

A  resident  told  me  that  those  were  not  mountains ;  he  said 
they  were  rabbit-piles.  And  explained  that  long  exposure  and 
the  over-ripe  condition  of  the  rabbits  was  what  made  them 
look  so  blue.  This  man  may  have  been  right,  but  much  read- 
ing1 of  books  of  travel  has  made  me  distrustful  of  gratis  infor- 
mation  furnished  by  unofficial  residents  of  a  country.  The 
facts  which  such  people  give  to  travelers  are  usually  erroneous, 
and  often  intemperately  so.  The  rabbit-plague  has  indeed 
been  very  bad  in  Australia,  and  it  could  account  for  one  moun- 
tain, but  not  for  a  mountain  range,  it  seems  to  me.  It  is  too 
large  an  order. 

^\Te  breakfasted  at  the  station.  A  good  breakfast,  except 
the  coffee  ;  and  cheap.  The  Government  establishes  the  prices 
and  placards  them.  The  waiters  were  men,  I  think ;  but  that 
is  not  usual  in  Australasia.  The  usual  thing  is  to  have  girls. 
No,  not  girls,  young  ladies  —  generally  duchesses.  Dress? 
They  would  attract  attention  at  any  royal  levee  in  Europe. 
Even  empresses  and  queens  do  not  dress  as  they  do.  Not  that 
they  could  not  afford  it,  perhaps,  but  they  would  not  know  how. 

All  the  pleasant  morning  we  slid  smoothly  along  over  the 
plains,  through  thin --not  thick --forests  of  great  melancholy 
gum  trees,  with  trunks  rugg-ed  with  curled  sheets  of  flaking  bark 
-erysipelas  convalescents,  so  to  speak,  shedding  their  dead 
skins.  And  all  along  were  tiny  cabins,  built  sometimes  of 
wood,  sometimes  of  gray-blue  corrugated  iron  ;  and  the  door- 
steps and  fences  were  clogged  with  children --rugged  little 
simply-clad  chaps  that  looked  as  if  they  had  been  imported 
from  the  banks  of  the  Mississippi  without  breaking  bulk. 


SHEEP-DIP    AND    RAILROAD    COFFEE. 


1    "    " 

155 


And  there  were  little  villages,  with  neat  stations  well  pla- 
carded with  showy  advertisements -- mainly  of  almost  too 
self-righteous  brands  of  "sheep-dip.'1  IT  that  is  the  name- 
ami  I  think  it  is.  It  is  a  stuff  like  tar,  and  is  dabbed  on  to 
places  where  the  shearer  clips  a  piece  out  of  the  sheep.  It 
bars  out  the  Hies,  and  lias  healing  properties,  and  a  nip  to  it 
which  makes  the  sheep  skip  like  the  cattle  on  a  thousand  hills. 
It  is  not  good  to  eat.  That  is,  it  is  not  good  to  eat  except 
when  mixed  with  railroad  coffee.  It  improves  railroad  coffee. 
Without  it  railroad  coffee  is  too  vague.  Hut  with  it.  it  is  quite 
assertive  and  enthusiastic.  By  itself,  railroad  coffee  is  too  pas- 
sive; but  sheep-dip  makes  it  wake  up  and  get  down  to  business. 
I  wonder  where  they  get  railroad  coffee  \ 


THINGS   X(>T   SEEN. 


We  saw  birds,  but  not  a  kangaroo,  not  an  emu,  not  an 
ornithorhyncus,  not  a  lecturer,  not  a  native.  Indeed,  the  land 
seemed  quite  destitute  of  game.  Hut  I  have  misused  the  word 
native.  In  Australia  it  is  applied  to  Australian-born  whites 
only.  I  should  have  said  that  we  saw  no  Aboriginals  —  no 
"  blackfellows."  And  to  this  day  I  have  never  seen  one.  In 
the  great  museums  you  will  find  all  the  other  curiosities,  but  in 
the  curio  of  chiefesl  interest  to  the  stranger  all  of  them  are 
lacking.  We  have  at  home  an  abundance  of  museums,  and 
not  an  American  Indian  in  them.  It  is  clearly  an  absurdity, 
but  it  never  struck  me  before. 


CHAPTER   XV. 

Truth  is  stranger  than  fiction  —  to  some  people,  but  I  am  measurably  familiar 
with  it. —  Pudcfiihead  Wilson'' 's New  Calendar. 

Truth  is  stranger  than  fiction,  but  it  is  because  Fiction  is  obliged  to  stick  to 
possibilities;  Truth  isn't. — Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  air  was  balmy  and  delicious,  the  sunshine  radiant; 
it  was  a  charming  excursion.  In  the  course  of  it  we 
came  to  a  town  whose  odd  name  was  famous  all  over 
the  world  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago  -  -  Wagga-Wagga.  This 
was  because  the  Tichborne  Claimant  had  kept  a  butcher-shop 
there.  It  was  out  of  the  midst  of  his  humble  collection  of 
sausages  and  tripe  that  he  soared  up  into  the  zenith  of  notoriety 
and  hung  there  in  the  wastes  of  space  a  time,  with  the  tele- 
scopes of  all  nations  leveled  at  him  in  unappeasable  curiosity  - 
curiosity  as  to  which  of  the  two  long-missing  persons  he  was: 
Arthur  Orton,  the  mislaid  roustabout  of  Wapping,  or  Sir  Roger 
Tichborne,  the  lost  heir  of  a  name  and  estates  as  old  as  English 
history.  We  all  know  now,  but  not  a  dozen  people  knew  then ; 
and  the  dozen  kept  the  mystery  to  themselves  and  allowed  the 
most  intricate  and  fascinating  and  marvelous  real-life  romance 
that  has  ever  been  played  upon  the  world's  stage  to  unfold  it- 
self serenely,  act  by  act,  in  a  British  court  by  the  long  and 
laborious  processes  of  judicial  development. 

When  we  recall  the  details  of  that  great  romance  we  mar- 
vel to  see  what  daring  chances  truth  may  freely  take  in  con- 
structing a  tale,  as  compared  with  the  poor  little  conservative 
risks  permitted  to  fiction.     The  fiction-artist  could  achieve  no 

success  with  the  materials  of  this  splendid  Tichborne  romance. 

(156  i 


AT   WAGGA-WAGGA.  157 

He  would  have  to  drop  out  the  chief  characters ;  the  public 
would  say  such  people  are  impossible.  He  would  have  to  drop 
out  a  number  of  the  most  picturesque  incidents;  the  public 
would  say  such  things  could  never  happen.  And  yet  the  chief 
characters  did  exist,  and  the  incidents  did  happen. 

It  cost  the  Tichborne  estates  $400,000  to  unmask  the  Claim- 
ant and  drive  him  out ;  and  even  after  the  exposure  multitudes 
of  Englishmen  still  believed  in  him.  It  cost  the  British  Gov- 
ernment another  $400,000  to  convict  him  of  perjury;  and  after 
the  conviction  the  same  old  multitudes  still  believed  in  him  ;  and 
among  these  believers  were  many  educated  and  intelligent  men  ; 
and  some  of  them  had  personally  known  the  real  Sir  Roger. 
The  Claimant  was  sentenced  to  14  years'  imprisonment.  When 
he  got  out  of  prison  he  went  to  New  York  and  kept  a  whisky 
saloon  in  the  Bowery  for  a  time,  then  disappeared  from  view. 

He  always  claimed  to  be  Sir  Roger  Tichborne  until  death 
called  for  him.  This  was  but  a  few  months  ago-- not  very 
much  short  of  a  generation  since  he  left  Wagga-Wagga  to  go 
and  possess  himself  of  his  estates.  On  his  death-bed  he  yielded 
up  his  secret,  and  confessed  in  writing  that  he  was  only  Arthur 
Orton  of  Wapping,  able  seaman  and  butcher  —  that  and  noth- 
ing: more.  But  it  is  scarcely  to  be  doubted  that  there  are 
people  whom  even  his  dying  confession  will  not  convince.  The 
old  habit  of  assimilating  incredibilities  must  have  made  strong 
food  a  necessity  in  their  case  ;  a  weaker  article  would  probably 
disagree  with  them. 

I  was  in  London  when  the  Claimant  stood  his  trial  for  per- 
jury. 1  attended  one  of  his  showy  evenings  in  the  sumptuous 
quarters  provided  for  him  from  the  purses  of  his  adherents  and 
well-wishers.  He  was  in  evening  dress,  and  I  thought  him  a 
rather  fine  and  stately  creature.  There  were  about  twenty- 
five  gentlemen  present ;  educated  men,  men  moving  in  good 
society,  none  of  them  commonplace ;  some  of  them  were  men 


158  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

of  distinction,  none  of  them  were  obscurities.  They  were  his 
cordial  friends  and  admirers.  It  was  "  S'r  Roger,1'  always 
"  S'r  Roger,"  on  all  hands  ;  no  one  withheld  the  title,  all  turned 
it  from  the  tongue  with  unction,  and  as  if  it  tasted  good. 

For  many  years  I  had  had  a  mystery  in  stock.  Melbourne, 
and  only  Melbourne,  could  unriddle  it  for  me.  In  1*73  I 
arrived  in  London  with  mv  wife  and  voung  child,  and  presently 
received  a  note  from  Naples  signed  by  a  name  not  familiar  to 
me.  It  was  not  Bascom,  and  it  was  not  Henry;  but  I  will 
call  it  Henry  Bascom  for  convenience's  sake.  This  note,  of 
about  six  lines,  was  written  on  a  strip  of  white  paper  whose 
end-edges  were  ragged.  I  came  to  be  familiar  with  those 
strips  in  later  years.  Their  size  and  pattern  were  always  the 
same.  Their  contents  were  usually  to  the  same  elf eet :  would 
I  and  mine  come  to  the  writer's  country-place  in  England  on 
such  and  such  a  date,  by  such  and  such  a  train,  and  stay  twelve 
days  and  depart  by  such  and  such  a  train  at  the  end  of  the 
specified  time?     A  carriage  would  meet  us  at  the  station. 

These  invitations  were  always  for  a  long  time  ahead  ;  if  we 
were  in  Europe,  three  months  ahead  ;  if  we  were  in  America, 
six  to  twelve  months  ahead.  They  always  named  the  exact 
date  and  train  for  the  beginning  and  also  for  the  end  of  the 
visit. 

This  first  note  invited  us  for  a  date  three  months  in  the 
future.  It  asked  us  to  arrive  by  the  4.10  p.  m.  train  from  Lon- 
don, August  6th.  The  carriage  would  be  waiting.  The  car- 
riage would  take  us  away  seven  days  later  —  train  specified. 
And  there  were  these  words :  "  Speak  to  Tom  Hughes." 

I  showed  the  note  to  the  author  of  "Tom  Brown  at 
Rugby,"  and  he  said  :  — 

k-  Accept,  and  be  thankful." 

lie  described  Mr.  Bascom  as  being  a  man  of  genius,  a  man 
of  fine  attainments,  a  choice  man  in  every  way,  a  rare  and 


MY    STOCK    MYSTERY.  159 

beautiful  character.  He  said  that  Bascom  Hall  was  a  particu- 
larly fine  example  of  the  stately  manorial  mansion  of  Eliza- 
beth's days,  and  that  it  was  a  house  worth  going  a  long  way 
to  see-- like  Knowle;  that  Mr.  B.  was  of  a  social  disposition, 
liked  the  company  of  agreeable  people,  and  always  had  samples 
of  the  sort  coming  and  going. 

We  paid  the  visit.  AVe  paid  others,  in  later  years  the  last 
one  in  1  s 7 '. » .  Soon  after  that  Mr.  Bascom  started  on  a  voyage 
around  the  world  in  a  steam  yacht-  a  long  and  leisurely  trip, 
for  he  was  making  collections,  in  all  lands,  of  birds,  butter- 
flies, and  such  things. 

The  day  that  President  Garfield  was  shot  by  the  assassin 
Guiteau.  we  were  at  a  little  watering  place  on  Long  Island 
Sound;  and  in  the  mail  matter  of  that  day  came  a  letter  with 
the  Melbourne  post-mark  on  it.  It  was  for  my  wife,  but  I 
recognized  Mr.  Bascom's  handwriting  on  the  envelope,  and 
opened  it.  It  was  the  usual  note — as  to  paucity  of  lines 
—  and  was  written  on  the  customary  strip  of  paper ;  but  there 
was  nothing  usual  about  the  contents.  The  note  informed  my 
wife  that  if  it  would  be  any  assuagement  of  her  grief  to  know 
that  her  husband's  lecture-tour  in  Australia  was  a  satisfactory 
venture  from  the  beginning  to  the  end,  he,  the  writer,  could 
testify  that  such  was  the  case;  also,  that  her  husband's  un- 
timely death  had  been  mourned  by  all  classes,  as  she  would 
already  know  by  the  press  telegrams,  long  before  the  reception 
of  this  note;  that  the  funeral  was  attended  by  the  officials  of 
the  colonial  and  city  governments ;  and  that  while  he,  the 
writer,  her  friend  and  mine,  had  not  reached  Melbourne  in  time 
to  see  the  body,  he  had  at  least  had  the  sad  privilege  of  acting 
as  one  of  the  pall-bearers.     Signed,  "  Henry  Bascom." 

My  first  thought  was,  why  didn't  he  have  the  coffin  opened  I 
He  would  have  seen  that  the  corpse  was  an  imposter,  and  he 
could  have  gone  right  ahead  and  dried  up  the  most  of  those 


Itin  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

tears,  and  comforted  those  sorrowing  governments,  and  sold  the 
remains  and  sent  me  the  money. 

I  did  nothing  about  the  matter.  I  had  set  the  law  after 
living  lecture-doubles  of  mine  a  couple  of  times  in  America, 
and  the  law  had  not  been  able  to  catch  them ;  others  in  my 
trade  had  tried  to  catch  their  impostor-doubles  and  had  failed. 
Then  where  was  the  use  in  harrying  a  ghost  '.  None —  and  so 
I  did  not  disturb  it.  I  had  a  curiosity  to  know  about  that 
man's  lectnre-tour  and  last  moments,  but  that  could  wait. 
"When  I  should  see  Mr.  Bascom  he  would  tell  me  nil  about  it. 
But  he  passed  from  life,  and  I  never  saw  him  again.  My 
curiosity  faded  away. 

However,  when  I  found  that  1  was  going  to  Australia  it  re- 
vived. And  naturally  :  for  if  the  people  should  say  that  I  was 
a  dull,  poor  thing  compared  to  what  I  was  before  I  died,  it 
would  have  a  bad  effect  on  business.  Well,  to  my  surprise  the 
Sydney  journalists  had  never  L<<ir<l  of  that  impostor!  I 
pressed  them,  but  they  were  firm --they  had  never  heard  of 
him,  and  didn't  believe  in  him. 

I   could   not  understand  it;  still,   I   thought   it   would  all 
come  right  in  Melbourne.     The  government  would  remember; 
and  the  other  mourners.     At  the  supper  of  the  Institute  of 
Journalists  I  should  find  out  all  about  the  matter.     But  no- 
it  turned  out  that  they  had  never  heard  of  it. 

So  mv  mystery  was  a  mystery  still.  It  was  a  great  disap- 
pointment.  I  believed  it  would  never  be  cleared  up  —  in  this 
life  —  so  I  dropped  it  out  of  my  mind. 

But  at  last  !  just  when  I  was  least  expecting  it  — 

However,  this  is  not  the  place  for  the  rest  of  it ;  I  shall 
come  to  the  matter  again,  in  a  far-distant  chapter. 


CHAPTEE  XVI. 

There  is  a  Moral  Sense,  and  there  is  an  Immoral  Sense.  History  shows  us  that 
the  Moral  Sense  enables  us  to  perceive  morality  and  how  to  avoid  it,  and  that  the 
Immoral  Sense  enables  us  to  perceive  immorality  and  how  to  enjoy  it. 

—  Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

KA  EL-BOURNE  spreads  around  over  an  immense  area  of 
I       \     ground.     It  is  a  stately  city  architecturally  as  well 
*  *■     as   in  magnitude.     It  has  an   elaborate   system   of 

cable-car  service  ;  it  has  museums,  and  colleges,  and  schools, 
and  public  gardens,  and  electricity,  and  gas,  and  libraries,  and 
theaters,  and  mining  centers,  and  wool  centers,  and  centers  of 
the  arts  and  sciences,  and  boards  of  trade,  and  ships,  and  rail- 
roads, and  a  harbor,  and  social  clubs,  and  journalistic  clubs, 
and  racing  clubs,  and  a  squatter  club  sumptuously  housed  and 
appointed,  and  as  many  churches  and  banks  as  can  make  a 
living.  In  a  word,  it  is  equipped  with  everything  that  goes  to 
make  the  modern  great  city.  It  is  the  largest  city  of  Austra- 
lasia, and  tills  the  post  with  honor  and  credit.  It  has  one  spe- 
cialty ;  this  must  not  be  jumbled  in  with  those  other  things. 
It  is  the  mitred  Metropolitan  of  the  Horse-Racing  Cult.  Its 
raceground  is  the  Mecca  of  Australasia.  On  the  great  annual 
dav  of  sacrifice  —  the  5th  of  November,  Guv  Fawkes's  Day- 
business  is  suspended  over  a  stretch  of  land  and  sea  as  wide  as 
from  New  York  to  San  Francisco,  and  deeper  than  from  the 
northern  lakes  to  the  Gulf  of  Mexico ;  and  every  man  and 
woman,  of  high  degree  or  low,  who  can  afford  the  expense, 
put  away  their  other  duties  and  come.  They  begin  to  swarm 
in  by  ship  and  rail  a  fortnight  before  the  day,  and  they  swarm 
thicker  and  thicker  dav  after  dav,  until  all  the  vehicles  of 
11  (161) 


162  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

transportation  are  taxed  to  their  uttermost  to  meet  the  de- 
mands of  the  occasion,  and  all  hotels  and  lodgings  are  bulging 
outward  because  of  the  pressure  from  within.  They  come  a 
hundred  thousand  strong,  as  all  the  best  authorities  say,  and 
they  pack  the  spacious  grounds  and  grand-stands  and  make  a 
spectacle  such  as  is  never  to  be  seen  in  Australasia  elsewhere. 

It  is  the  "  Melbourne  Cup "  that  brings  this  multitude 
together.  Their  clothes  have  been  ordered  long  ago,  at  unlim- 
ited cost,  and  without  bounds  as  to  beauty  and  magnificence, 
and  have  been  kept  in  concealment  until  now,  for  unto  this 
day  are  they  consecrate.  I  am  speaking  of  the  ladle*  clothes ; 
but  one  might  know  that. 

And  so  the  grand-stands  make  a  brilliant  and  wonderful 
spectacle,  a  delirium  of  color,  a  vision  of  beauty.  The  cham- 
pagne flows,  everybody  is  vivacious,  excited,  happy  ;  every- 
body bets,  and  gloves  and  fortunes  change  hands  right  along, 
all  the  time.  Day  after  day  the  races  go  on,  and  the  fun  and 
the  excitement  are  kept  at  white  heat ;  and  when  each  day  is 
done,  the  people  dance  all  night  so  as  to  be  fresh  for  the  race 
in  the  morning-.  And  at  the  end  of  the  great  week  the  swarms 
secure  lodgings  and  transportation  for  next  year,  then  flock 
away  to  their  remote  homes  and  count  their  gains  and  losses, 
and  order  next  years  Cup-clothes,  and  then  lie  down  and  sleep 
two  weeks,  and  get  up  sorry  to  reflect  that  a  whole  year  must 
be  put  in  somehow  or  other  before  they  can  be  wholly  happy 
again. 

The  Melbourne  Cup  is  the  Australasian  National  Day.  It 
would  be  difficult  to  overstate  its  importance.  It  overshadows 
all  other  holidays  and  specialized  days  of  whatever  sort  in  that 
congeries  of  colonies.  Overshadows  them?  I  might  almost 
say  it  blots  them  out.  Each  of  them  gets  attention,  but  not 
everybody's ;  each  of  them  evokes  interest,  but  not  every- 
body's;  each  of  them  rouses  enthusiasm,  but  not  everybody's  ; 


AUSTRALASIA'S   NATIONAL   DAY.  163 

in  each  case  a  part  of  the  attention,  interest,  and  enthusiasm  is 
a  matter  of  habit  and  custom,  and  another  part  of  it  is  official 
and  perfunctory.  Cup  Day,  and  Cup  Day  only,  commands  an 
attention,  an  interest,  and  an  enthusiasm  which  are  universal 
-  and  spontaneous,  not  perfunctory.  Cup  Day  is  supreme  - 
it  has  no  rival.  I  can  call  to  mind  no  specialized  annual  day, 
in  any  country,  which  can  be  named  by  that  large  name- 
Supreme.  I  can  call  to  mind  no  specialized  annual  day,  in  any 
country,  whose  approach  tires  the  whole  land  with  a  confla- 
gration of  conversation  and  preparation  and  anticipation  and 
jubilation.     No  day  save  this  one  ;  but  this  one  does  it. 

In  America  we  have  no  annual  supreme  day  ;  no  day  whose 
approach  makes  the  whole  nation  glad.  We  have  the  Fourth 
of  July,  and  Christmas,  and  Thanksgiving.  Neither  of  them 
can  claim  the  primacy;  neither  of  them  can  arouse  an  enthu- 
siasm which  comes  near  to  being  universal.  Eight  grown 
Americans  out  of  ten  dread  the  coming  of  the  Fourth,  with  its 
pandemonium  and  its  perils,  and  they  rejoice  when  it  is  gone 

—  if  still  alive.  The  approach  of  Christmas  brings  harrass- 
ment  and  dread  to  many  excellent  people.  They  have  to  buy 
a  cart-load  of  presents,  and  they  never  know  what  to  buy  to 
hit  the  various  tastes;  they  put  in  three  weeks  of  hard  and 
anxious  work,  and  when  Christmas  morning  conns  they  are  so 
dissatisfied  with  the  result,  and  so  disappointed  that  they  want 
to  sit  down  and  cry.  Then  they  give  thanks  that  Christmas 
conies  but  once  a  year.     The  observance  of  Thanksgiving  Day 

—  as  a  function  —  has  become  general  of  late  years.  The 
Thankfulness  is  not  so  general.  This  is  natural.  Two-thirds 
of  the  nation  have  always  had  hard  luck  and  a,  hard  time 
•  luring  the  year,  and  this  has  a  calming  effect  upon  their  en- 
thusiasm. 

We  have  a  supreme  day  — -a  sweeping  and  tremendous  and 
tumultuous  day,  a  day  which  commands  an  absolute  univer- 


lt;4  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

sality  of  interest  and  excitement;  but  it  is  not  annual.  It 
comes  but  once  in  four  years:  therefore  it  cannot  count  as  a 
rival  of  the  Melbourne  Cup. 

In  (Treat  Britain  and  Ireland  they  have  two  great  days  — 
Christmas  and  the  Queen's  birthday.  But  they  are  equally 
popular  ;  there  is  no  supremacy. 

I  think  it  must  be  conceded  that  the  position  of  the  Aus- 
tralasian Day  is  unique,  solitary,  unfellowed ;  and  likely  to 
hold  that  high  place  a  long  time. 

The  next  things'  which  interest  us  when  we  travel  are,  first, 
the  people;  next,  the  novelties;  and  finally  the  history  of  the 
places  and  countries  visited.  Novelties  are  rare  in  cities  which 
represent  the  most  advanced  civilization  of  the  modern  day. 
When  one  is  familiar  with  such  cities  in  the  other  parts  of  the 
world  he  is  in  effect  familiar  with  the  cities  of  Australasia.  The 
outside  aspects  will  furnish  little  that  is  new.  There  will  be 
new  names,  but  the  things  which  they  represent  will  some- 
times be  found  to  be  less  new  than  their  names.  There  may 
be  shades  of  difference,  but  these  can  easily  be  too  tine  for 
detection  by  the  incompetent  eye  of  the  passing  stranger.  In 
the  larrikin  he  will  not  be  able  to  discover  a  new  species,  but 
only  an  old  one  met  elsewhere,  and  variously  called  loafer, 
rough,  tough,  bummer,  or  blatherskite,  according  to  his  geo- 
graphical distribution.  The  larrikin  differs  by  a  shade  from 
those  others,  in  that  he  is  more  sociable  toward  the  stranger 
than  they,  more  kindly  disposed,  more  hospitable,  more  hearty, 
more  friendly.  At  least  it  seemed  so  to  me,  and  I  had  op- 
portunity to  observe.  In  Sydney,  at  least.  In  Melbourne  I 
had  to  drive  to  and  from  the  lecture-theater,  but  in  Sydney  I 
was  able  to  walk  both  ways,  and  did  it.  Every  night,  on  my 
way  home  at  ten,  or  a  quarter  past,  I  found  the  larrikin  grouped 
in  considerable  force  at  several  of  the  street  corners,  and  he 
always  gave  me  this  pleasant  salutation  : 


HELLO,   MARK! 


A  PLEASANT  GREETING.  L67 


t  » 


"Hello,  Mark 

"  Here's  to  )Tou,  old  chap  !  " 

"  Say  —  Mark  !  --  is  lie  dead  '.  —  a  reference  to  a  passage  in 
some  book  of  mine,  though  I  did  not  detect,  at  that  time,  that 
that  was  its  source.  And  I  didn't  detect  it  afterward  in  Mel- 
bourne, when  I  came  on  the  stage  for  the  first  time,  and  the 
same  question  was  dropped  down  upon  me  from  the  dizzy 
height  of  the  gallery.  It  is  always  difficult  to  answer  a  sud- 
den  inquiry  like  that,  when  you  have  come  unprepared  and 
don't  know  what  it  means.  I  will  remark  here  —  if  it  is  not 
an  indecorum -- that  the  welcome  which  an  American  lecturer 
gets  from  a  British  colonial  audience  is  a  thing  which  will 
move  him  to  his  deepest  deeps,  and  veil  his  sight  and  break  his 
voice.  And  from  Winnipeg  to  Africa,  experience  will  teach 
him  nothing;  lit1  will  never  learn  to  expect  it,  it  will  catch  him 
as  a  surprise  each  time.  The  war-cloud  hanging  black  over 
England  and  America  made  no  trouble  for  me.  I  was  a 
prospective  prisoner  of  war,  but  at  dinners,  suppers,  on  the 
platform,  and  elsewhere,  there  was  never  anything  to  remind 
me  of  it.  This  was  hospitality  of  the  right  metal,  and  would 
have  been  prominently  lacking  in  some  countries,  in  the  cir- 
cumstances. 

And  speaking  of  the  war-flurry,  it  seemed  to  me  to  bring 
to  light  the  unexpected,  in  a  detail  or  two.  It  seemed  to  rele- 
gate the  war-talk  to  the  politicians  on  both  sides  of  the  water; 
whereas  whenever  a  prospective  war  between  two  nations  had 
been  in  the  air  theretofore,  the  public  had  done  most  of  the 
talking  and  the  bitterest.  The  attitude  of  the  newspapers  was 
new  also.  I  speak  of  those  of  Australasia  and  India,  for  I 
had  access  to  those  only.  They  treated  the  subject  argumenta- 
tively  and  with  dignity,  not  with  spite  and  anger.  That  was 
a  new  spirit,  too,  and  not  learned  of  the  French  and  German 
press,  either   before  Sedan    or   since.     I   heard   many  public 


k;s  following  the  equator. 

speeches,  and  they  reflected  the  moderation  of  the  journals. 
The  outlook  is  that  the  English-speaking  race  will  dominate 
the  earth  a  hundred  years  from  now,  if  its  sections  do  not  get 
to  fighting  each  other.  It  would  be  a  pity  to  spoil  that  pros- 
pect by  baffling  and  retarding  wars  when  arbitration  would 
settle  their  differences  so  much  better  and  also  so  much  more 
definitely. 

No,  as  I  have  suggested,  novelties  are  rare  in  the  great  cap- 
itals of  modern  times.  Even  the  wool  exchange  in  Melbourne 
could  not  be  told  from  the  familiar  stock  exchange  of  other 
countries.  Wool  brokers  are  just  like  stockbrokers;  they  all 
bounce  from  their  seats  and  put  up  their  hands  and  yell  in 
unison  —  no  stranger  can  tell  what  —  and  the  president  calmly 
says  —  ''Sold  to  Smith  &  Co.,  threppence  farthing  —  next!" 
when  probably  nothing  of  the  kind  happened  ;  for  how  should 
he  know  % 

In  the  museums  you  will  find  acres  of  the  most  strange  and 
fascinating  things ;  but  all  museums  are  fascinating,  and  they 
do  so  tire  vour  eves,  and  break  your  back,  and  burn  out  your 
vitalities  with  their  consuming  interest.  You  always  say  you 
will  never  go  again,  but  you  do  go.  The  palaces  of  the  rich, 
in  Melbourne,  are  much  like  the  palaces  of  the  rich  in  America, 
and  the  life  in  them  is  the  same ;  but  there  the  resemblance 
ends.  The  grounds  surrounding  the  American  palace  are  not 
often  large,  and  not  often  beautiful,  but  in  the  Melbourne  case 
the  grounds  are  often  ducally  spacious,  and  the  climate  and 
the  gardeners  together  make  them  as  beautiful  as  a  dream.  It 
is  said  that  some  of  the  country  seats  have  grounds  -  domains 
-about  them  which  rival  in  charm  and  magnitude  those  which 
surround  the  country  mansion  of  an  English  lord;  but  I  was 
not  out  in  the  country  ;  I  had  my  hands  full  in  town. 

And   what  was   the  origin  of   this  majestic  city  and  its 
efflorescence  of  palatial   town   houses  and  country  seats  \     Its 


THE   ORIGIN    OF    MELBOURNE. 


L69 


first  brick  was  laid  and  its  first  house  built  by  a  passing  convict. 
Australian  history  is  almost  always  picturesque;  indeed,  it 
is  so  curious  and  strange,  that  it  is  itself  the  chiefest  novelty  the 
country  has  to  offer,  and  so  it  pushes  the  other  novelties  into 
second  and  third  place.  It  does  not  read  like  history,  but  like 
the  most  beautiful  lies.  And  all  of  a  fresh  new  sort,  no  mouldy 
old  stale  ones.  It  is  full  of  surprises,  and  adventures,  and 
incono-ruities,  and  contradictions,  and  incredibilities;  but  thev 
are  all  true,  they  all  happened. 


i 


SUNRISE    BLt'E    MOUNTAINS. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

The  English  are  mentioned  in  the  Bible  :  Blessed  are  the  meek,  for  they  shall 
inherit  the  earth.    — Puddri'head   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

WHEN  we  consider  the  immensity  of  the  British  Empire 
in  territory,  population,  and  trade,  it  requires  a  stern 
exercise  of  faith  to  believe  in  the  figures  which 
represent  Australasia's  contribution  to  the  Empire's  commercial 
grandeur.  As  compared  with  the  landed  estate  of  the  British 
Empire,  the  landed  estate  dominated  by  any  other  Power 
except  one --Russia  —  is  not  very  impressive  for  size.  My 
authorities  make  the  British  Empire  not  much  short  of  a 
fourth  larger  than  the  Russian  Empire.  Roughly  pro- 
portioned, if  you  will  allow  your  entire  hand  to  represent 
the  British  Empire,  you  may  then  cut  off  the  fingers  a  trifle 
above  the  middle  joint  of  the  middle  finger,  and  what  is  left 
of  the  hand  will  represent  Russia.  The  populations  ruled  by 
Great  Britain  and  China  are  about  the  same -- 400,000,000 
each.  No  other  Power  approaches  these  figures.  Even 
Russia  is  left  far  behind. 

The  population  of  Australasia  —  4,000,000  —  sinks  into 
nothingness,  and  is  lost  from  sight  in  that  British  ocean  of 
400,000,000.  Yet  the  statistics  indicate  that  it  rises  again  and 
shows  up  very  conspicuously  when  its  share  of  the  Empire's 
commerce  is  the  matter  under  consideration.  The  value  of 
England's  annual  exports  and  imports  is  stated  at  three 
billions  of  dollars,*  and  it  is  claimed  that  more  than  one-tenth 
of  this  great  aggregate  is  represented  by  Australasia's  exports 

•New  South  Wales  Blue  Book. 

(170) 


THE  BRITISH   EMPIRE. 


171 


172  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

to  England  and  i  in  ports  from  England.""'  In  addition  to  this, 
Australasia  does  a,  trade  with  countries  other  than  England, 
amounting  to  a  hundred  million  dollars  a  year,  and  a  domestic 
intercolonial  trade  amounting  to  a  hundred  and  fifty  millions.* 

In  round  numbers  the  4,000,000  buy  and  sell  about  $600,- 
000,000  worth  of  goods  a  year.  It  is  claimed  that  about  half 
of  this  represents  commodities  of  Australasian  production. 
The  products  exported  annually  by  India  are  worth  a  trifle  over 
$500,000,000. f    Now,  here  are  some  faith-straining  figures: 

Indian  production  (300,000,000  population),  $500,000,000. 

Australasian  production  (4,000,000 population),  $300,000,000. 

That  is  to  say,  the  product  of  the  individual  Indian, 
annually  (for  export  some  whither),  is  worth  $1.75 ;  that  of  the 
individual  Australasian  (for  export  some  whither),  $75  !  Or, 
to  put  it  in  another  way,  the  Indian  family  of  man  and  wife 
and  three  children  sends  away  an  annual  result  worth  $8.75, 
while  the  Australasian  family  sends  away  $375  worth. 

There  are  trustworthy  statistics  furnished  by  Sir  Richard 
Temple  and  others,  which  show  that  the  individual  Indian's 
whole  annual  product,  both  for  export  and  home  use.  is  worth 
in  gold  only  $7.50;  or,  $37.50  for  the  family-aggregate. 
Ciphered  out  on  a  like  ratio  of  multiplication,  the  Australasian 
family's  aggregate  production  would  be  nearly  $1,600.  Truly, 
nothing  is  so  astonishing  as  figures,  if  they  once  get  started. 

We  left  Melbourne  by  rail  for  Adelaide,  the  capital  of  the 
vast  Province  of  South  Australia  —  a  seventeen-hour  ex- 
cursion. ( )n  the  train  we  found  several  Sydney  friends  ;  among 
them  a  Judge  who  was  going  out  on  circuit,  and  was  going  to 
hold  court  at  Broken  Hill,  where  the  celebrated  silver  mine  is. 
It  seemed  a  curious  road  to  take  to  get  to  that  region.  Broken 
Hill  is  close  to  the  western  border  of  New  South  Wales,  and 
Sydney  is  on  the  eastern  border.     A  fairly  straight  line,  700 

*D.  M.  Luckie.  +  Ne\v  South  Wales  Blue  Hook. 


ADELAIDE   TAKES   THE   DIVIDENDS.  173 

miles  long,  drawn  westward  from  Sydney,  would  strike  Broken 
Hill,  just  as  a  somewhat  shorter  one  drawn  west  from  Boston 
would  strike  Buffalo.  The  way  the  Judge  was  traveling  would 
carry  him  over  2,000  miles  l>y  rail,  he  said;  southwest  from 
Sydney  down  to  Melbourne,  then  northward  up  to  Adelaide, 
then  a  cant  back  northeastward  and  over  the  border  into  New 
South  Wales  once  more-- to  Broken  Hill.  It  was  like  going 
from  Boston  southwest  to  Richmond,  Virginia,  then  northwest 
up  to  Erie,  Pennsylvania,  then  a  cant  back  northeast  and  over 
the  border — to  Buffalo,  New  York. 

But  the  explanation  was  simple.  Years  ago  the  fabulously 
rich  silver  discovery  at  Broken  Hill  burst  suddenly  upon  an 
unexpectant  world.  Its  stocks  started  at  shillings,  and  went 
by  leaps  and  bounds  to  the  most  fanciful  figures.  It  was  one  of 
those  cases  where  the  cook  puts  a  month's  wages  into  shares, 
and  comes  next  month  and  buys  your  house  at  your  own 
price,  and  moves  into  it  herself ;  where  the  coachman  takes  a 
few  shares,  and  next  month  sets  up  a  bank  ;  and  where  the 
common  sailor  invests  the  price  of  a  spree,  and  next  month 
buys  out  the  steamship  company  and  goes  into  business  on 
his  own  hook.  In  a  word,  it  was  one  of  those  excitements 
which  bring  multitudes  of  people  to  a  common  center  with  a 
rush,  and  whose  needs  must  be  supplied,  and  at  once.  Adelaide 
was  close  bv,  Sydney  was  far  away.  Adelaide  threw  a  short 
railwav  across  the  border  before  Sydney  had  time  to  arrange 
for  a  lone  one ;  it  was  not  worth  Avhile  for  Svdnev  to  arrange 
at  all.  The  whole  vast  trade-profit  of  Broken  Hill  fell  into 
Adelaide's  hands,  irrevocably.  New  South  Wales  furnishes 
law  for  Broken  Hill  and  sends  her  Judges  2,000  miles  —  mainly 
through  alien  countries  —  to  administer  it.  but  Adelaide  takes 
the  dividends  and  makes  no  moan. 

We  started  ;it  4.2<>  in  the  nfternoon,  and  moved  across  level 
plains    until    night.      In    the    morning    we     had    ;i    stretch    of 


174  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"scrub"  country  —  the  kind  of  thing  which  is  so  useful  to  the 
Australian  novelist.  In  the  scrub  the  hostile  aboriginal  lurks, 
and  Hits  mysteriously  about,  slipping  out  from  time  to  time 
to  surprise  and  slaughter  the  settler  ;  then  slipping  back  again, 
and  leaving  no  track  that  the  white  man  can  follow.  In  the 
scrub  the  novelist's  heroine  gets  lost,  search  fails  of  result ; 
she  wanders  here  and  there,  and  finally  sinks  down  exhausted 
and  unconscious,  and  the  searchers  pass  within  a  yard  or  two 
of  her,  not  suspecting  that  she  is  near,  and  by  and  by  some 
rambler  finds  her  bones  and  the  pathetic  diary  which  she  had 
scribbled  with  her  failing  hand  and  left  behind.  Nobody  can 
find  a  lost  heroine  in  the  scrub  but  the  aboriginal  "  tracker," 
and  he  will  not  lend  himself  to  the  scheme  if  it  will  interfere 
with  the  novelist's  plot.  The  scrub  stretches  miles  and  miles 
in  all  directions,  and  looks  like  a  level  roof  of  bush-tops  with- 
out a  break  or  a  crack  in  it  — as  seamless  as  a  blanket,  to  all 
appearance.  One  might  as  well  walk  under  water  and  hope 
to  guess  out  a  route  and  stick  to  it,  I  should  think.  Yet  it  is 
claimed  that  the  aboriginal  "  tracker "  was  able  to  hunt  out 
people  lost  in  the  scrub.  Also  in  the  "bush";  also  in  the 
desert;  and  even  follow  them  over  patches  of  bare  rocks  and 
over  alluvial  ground  which  had  to  all  appearance  been  washed 
clear  of  footprints. 

From  reading  Australian  books  and  talking  with  the  peo- 
ple, I  became  convinced  that  the  aboriginal  tracker's  perform- 
ances evince  a  craft,  a  penetration,  a  luminous  sagacity,  and  a 
minuteness  and  accuracy  of  observation  in  the  matter  of  de- 
tective-work not  found  in  nearly  so  remarkable  a  degree  in 
any  other  people,  white  or  colored.  In  an  official  account  of 
the  blacks  of  Australia  published  by  the  government  of  Vic- 
toria, one  reads  that  the  aboriginal  not  only  notices  the  faint 
marks  left  on  the  bark  of  a  tree  by  the  claws  of  a  climbing 


THE    AUSTRALIAN   TRACKER. 


it:. 


opossum,  but  knows  in  some  way  or  other  whether  the  marks 
were  made  to-day  or  yesterday. 

And  there  is  the  case,  on  record,  where  A.,  a  settler,  makes 
u  bet  with  B.j  that  B.  may  lose  a  cow  as  effectually  as  he  can, 
and  A.  will  produce  an  aboriginal  who  will  find  her.  B. 
selects  a  cow  and  lets  the  tracker  see  the 
cow's  footprint,  then  be  put  under  guard.  15- 
then  drives  the  cow  a  few  miles  over  a  course 
which  drifts  in  all  directions,  and  frequently 
doubles  back  upon  itself ;  and  he  selects  diffi- 
cult ground  all  the  time,  and  once  or  twice 
even  drives  the  cow  through  herds  of  other 
cows,  and  mingles  her  tracks  in  the  wide 
confusion  of  theirs.  He  finally  brings  his 
cow  home ;  the  aboriginal  is  set  at  liberty, 
and  at  once  moves  around  in  a  great  circle, 
examining  all  cow-tracks  until  he  finds  the 
one  he  is  after :  then  sets  off  and  follows  it 

throughout  its  erratic 
course,  and  ultimately 
tracks  it  to  the  stable 
where  B.  has  hidden  the 
co  w .  N  o  w  w  herein 
does  one  cow-track  dif- 
fer from  an  other?  There 
a  test  case.  must  be  a  difference,  or 

the  tracker  could  not  have  performed  the  feat;  a  differ" 
ence  minute,  shadow  v.  and  not  detectible  by  you  or  me,  or 
by  the  late  Sherlock  Holmes,  and  vet  discernible  by  a  mem- 
ber of  a  race  charged  by  some  people  with  occupying  the 
bottom  place  in  the  gradations  of  human  intelligence. 


■ 


CHAPTER    XVIir. 

It  is  easier  to  stay  out  than  iiet  out. —  Fudd,nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  train  was  now  exploring  a  beautiful  hill  country, 
and  went  twisting  in  and  out  through  lovely  little 
green  valleys.  There  were  several  varieties  of  gum- 
trees  ;  among  them  many  giants.  Some  of  them  were  bodied 
and  barked  like  the  sycamore ;  some  were  of  fantastic  aspect, 
and  reminded  one  of  the  quaint  apple  trees  in  Japanese  pict- 
ures. And  there  was  one  peculiarly  beautiful  tree  whose  name 
and  breed  I  did  not  know.  The  foliage  seemed  to  consist  of 
big  bunches  of  pine-spines,  the  lower  half  of  each  bunch  a  rich 
brown  or  old-gold  color,  the  upper  half  a  most  vivid  and 
strenuous  and  shouting  green.  The  effect  Avas  altogether  be- 
witching. The  tree  was  apparently  rare.  I  should  say  that 
the  first  and  last  samples  of  it  seen  by  us  were  not  more  than 
half  an  hour  apart.  There  was  another  tree  of  striking  aspect, 
a  kind  of  pine,  we  were  told.  Its  foliage  was  as  fine  as  hair, 
apparently,  and  its  mass  sphered  itself  above  the  naked 
straight  stem  like  an  explosion  of  misty  smoke.  It  was  not  a 
sociable  sort;  it  did  not  gather  in  groups  or  couples,  but  each 
individual  stood  far  away  from  its  nearest  neighbor.  It  scat- 
tered itself  in  this  spacious  and  exclusive  fashion  about  the 
slopes  of  swelling  grassy  great  knolls,  and  stood  in  the  full 
flood  of  the  wonderful  sunshine ;  and  as  far  as  you  could  see 
the  tree  itself  you  could  also  see  the  ink-black  blot  of  its 
shadow  on  the  shining  green  carpet  at  its  feet. 

On  some  part  of  this  railway  journey  we  saw  gorse  and 

(17(5) 


A  HALF   CENTURY    OF   EXILE.  177 

broom  —  importations  from  England  —  and  a  gentleman  who 
came  into  our  compartment  on  a  visit  tried  to  tell  me  which 
was  which  ;  but  as  he  didn't  know,  he  had  difficulty,  lie  said 
he  was  ashamed  of  his  ignorance,  but  that  lie  had  never  been 
confronted  with  the  question  before  during  the  fifty  years  and 
more  that  he  had  spent  in  Australia,  and  so  he  had  never  hap- 
pened to  get  interested  in  the  matter.  But  there  was  no  need 
to  be  ashamed.  The  most  of  us  have  his  defect.  We  take  a 
natural  interest  in  novelties,  but  it  is  against  nature  to  take  an 
interest  in  familiar  things.  The  gorse  and  the  broom  were  a 
fine  accent  in  the  landscape.  Here  and  there  they  burst  out  in 
sudden  conflagrations  of  vivid  yellow  against  a  background  of 
sober  or  sombre  color,  with  a  so  startling  effect  as  to  make  a 
body  catch  his  breath  with  the  happy  surprise  of  it.  And 
then  there  was  the  wattle,  a  native  bush  or  tree,  an  inspiring 
cloud  of  sumptuous  yellow  bloom.  It  is  a  favorite  with  the 
Australians,  and  has  a  fine  fragrance,  a  quality  usually  wanting 
in  Australian  blossoms. 

The  gentleman  who  enriched  me  with  the  poverty  of  his 
information  about  the  gorse  and  the  broom  told  me  that  he 
came  out  from  England  a  youth  of  twenty  and  entered  the 
Province  of  South  Australia  with  thirty-six  shillings  in  his 
pocket  —  an  adventurer  without  trade,  profession,  or  friends, 
but  with  a  clearly-defined  purpose  in  his  head:  he  would  stay 
until  he  was  worth  £200,  then  go  back  home.  lie  would  allow 
himself  five  years  for  the  accumulation  of  this  fortune. 

•'That  was  more  than  fifty  years  ago,"  said  he.  k'And  here 
I  am,  yet." 

As  he  went  out  at  the  door  he  met  a  friend,  and  turned  and 
introduced  him  to  me,  and  the  friend  and  I  had  a  talk  and  a 
smoke.  I  spoke  of  the  previous  conversation  and  said  there 
was  something  very  pathetic  about  this  half  century  of  exile, 

and  that  I  wished  the  £200  scheme  had  succeeded. 

12 


.    178 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


"With  him  ?  ( )h.  it  did.  It's  not  so  sad  a  case.  He  is  mod- 
est, and  he  left  out  some  of  the  particulars.  The  lad  reached 
youth  Australia  just  in  time  to  help  discover  the  Burra-Burra 
copper  mines.  They  turned  out  £700,000  in  the  first  three 
rears.  Op  to  now  thev  have  yielded  £20,000,000.  He  has  had 
his  share.  Before  that  boy  had  been  in  the  country  two  years 
he  could  have  gone  home  and  bought  a  village:  he  could  go 
now  and  buy  a  city.  I  think.  No, 
there  is  nothing  very  pathetic  about 
his  case.  He  and  his  copper  arrived 
at  just  a  handy  time  to  save  South 
Australia.  It  had  got  mashed  pretty 
Hat  under  the  collapse  of  a 
land  boom  a  while  before." 

There  it  is  again ;  pictur- 
esque history  —  Australia's 
specialty.  In  1nl>(."  South 
hadn't  a  white  man  in  it. 
the  British  Parliament  erected  it  —  still 
a  solitude  —  into  a  Province,  and  gave 
it  a  governor  and  other  governmental 
machinery.  Speculators  took  hold,  now, 
and  inaugurated  a  vast  land  scheme, 
and  invited  immigration,  encouraging 
it  with  lurid  promises  of  sudden  wealth.  It  was  well  worked 
in  London;  and  bishops, statesmen, and  all  sorts  of  people  made 
a  rush  for  the  land  company's  shares.  Immigrants  soon  began 
to  pour  into  the  region  of  Adelaide  and  select  town  lots  and 
farms  in  the  sand  and  the  mangrove  swamps  by  the  sea.  The 
crowds  continued  to  come,  prices  of  land  rose  high,  then  higher 
and  still  higher,  everybody  was  prosperous  and  happy,  the 
boom  swelled  into  gigantic  proportions.  A  village  of  sheet- 
iron  huts  and  clapboard  sheds  sprang  up  in  the  sand,  and  in 


Australia 
In    L836 


HERE    r   AM   YET. 


A    CORPSE    THAT    DANCED.  1713 

these  wigwams  fashion  made  display:  richly-dressed  ladies 
played  on  costly  pianos,  London  swells  in  evening  dress  and 
patent-leather  boots  were  abundant,  and  this  line  society  drank 
champagne,  and  in  other  ways  conducted  itself  in  this  capital 
of  humble  sheds  as  it  had  been  accustomed  to  do  in  the  aristo- 
cratic quarters  of  the  metropolis  of  the  world.  The  provincial 
government  put  up  expensive  buildings  for  its  own  use,  and  a 
palace  with  gardens  for  the  use  of  its  governor.  The  governor 
had  a  guard,  and  maintained  a  court.  Roads,  Avharves,  and 
hospitals  were  built.  All  this  on  credit,  on  paper,  on  wind,  on 
inflated  and  fictitious  values  —  on  the  boom's  moonshine,  in  fact. 

This  went  on  handsomely  during  four  or  five  years.  Then 
all  of  a  sudden  came  a  smash.  Bills  for  a  huge  amount  drawn 
by  the  governor  upon  the  Treasury  were  dishonored,  the  land 
company's  credit  went  up  in  smoke,  a  panic  followed,  values 
fell  with  a  rush,  the  frightened  immigrants  seized  their  grip- 
sacks and  fled  to  other  lands,  leaving  behind  them  a  good  im- 
itation of  a  solitude,  where  lately  had  been  a  buzzing  and 
populous  hive  of  men. 

Adelaide  was  indeed  almost  empty  ;  its  population  had 
fallen  to  3,000.  During  two  years  or  more  the  death-trance 
continued.  Prospect  of  revival  there  was  none;  hope  of  it 
ceased.  Then,  as  suddenly  as  the  paralysis  had  come,  came  the 
resurrection  from  it.  Those  astonishingly  rich  copper  mines 
were  discovered,  and  the  corpse  got  up  and  danced. 

The  wool  production  began  to  grow;  grain-raising  followed 
-followed  so  vigorously,  too,  that  four  or  five  years  after  the 
copper  discovery,  this  little  colony,  which  had  had  to  import 
its  breadstuff's  formerly,  and  pay  hard  prices  for  them  —  once 
$50  a  barrel  for  flour  —  had  become  an  exporter  of  grain. 
The  prosperities  continued.  After  many  years  Providence,  de- 
siring to  show  especial  regard  for  Xew  South  Wales  and  ex- 
hibit a  loving  interest  in  its  welfare  which  should  certify  to  all 


180  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

nations  the  recognition  of  that  colony's  conspicuous  righteous- 
ness and  distinguished  well-deserving,  conferred  upon  it  that 
treasury  of  inconceivable  riches,  Broken  Hill ;  and  South 
Australia  went  over  the  border  and  took  it,  giving  thanks. 

Among  our  passengers  was  an  American  with  a  unique 
vocation.  Unique  is  a  strong  word,  but  I  use  it  justifiably  if  I 
did  not  misconceive  what  the  American  told  me  ;  for  I  under- 
stood him  to  say  that  in  the  world  there  was  not  another  man 
eno-ag'ed  in  the  business  which  he  was  folio  wing.  He  was  buv- 
ing  the  kangaroo-skin  crop  ;  buying  all  of  it,  both  the  Austra- 
lian crop  and  the  Tasmanian ;  and  buying  it  for  an  American 
house  in  Xew  York.  The  prices  were  not  high,  as  there  was 
no  competition,  but  the  year's  aggregate  of  skins  would  cost 
him  £30,000.  I  had  had  the  idea  that  the  kangaroo  was  about 
extinct  in  Tasmania  and  well  thinned  out  on  the  continent. 
In  America  the  skins  are  tanned  and  made  into  shoes.  After 
the  tanning,  the  leather  takes  a  new  name  —  which  I  have  for- 
gotten—  I  onlv  remember  that  the  new  name  does  not  indicate 
that  the  kangaroo  furnishes  the  leather.  There  was  a  German 
competition  for  a  while,  some  years  ago,  but  that  has  ceased. 
The  Germans  failed  to  arrive  at  the  secret  of  tanning  the  skins 
successfully,  and  they  withdrew  from  the  business.  Xow  then, 
I  suppose  that  I  have  seen  a  man  whose  occupation  is  really  en- 
titled to  hear  that  high  epithet  —  unique.  And  I  suppose  that 
there  is  not  another  occupation  in  the  world  that  is  restricted 
to  the  hands  of  a  sole  person.  I  can  think  of  no  instance  of  it. 
There  is  more  than  one  Pope,  there  is  more  than  one  Emperor, 
there  is  even  more  than  one  living  god,  walking  upon  the  earth 
and  worshiped  in  all  sincerity  by  large  populations  of  men. 
I  have  seen  and  talked  with  two  of  these  Beings  myself  in 
India,  and  I  have  the  autograph  of  one  of  them.  It  can  come 
good,  by  and  by,  I  reckon,  if  I  attach  it  to  a  "permit." 

Approaching  Adelaide  we  dismounted  from  the  train,  as 


A    HOME   FOR   EVERY   ALIEN.  181 

the  French  say,  and  were  driven  in  an  open  carriage  over  the 
hills  and  along  their  slopes  to  the  city.  It  was  an  excursion  of 
an  hour  or  two,  and  the  charm  of  it  could  not  be  overstated,  I 
think.  The  road  wound  around  gaps  and  gorges,  and  offered 
all  varieties  of  scenery  and  prospect  —  mountains,  crags, 
country  homes,  gardens,  forests  —  color,  color,  color  every- 
where, and  the  air  fine  and  fresh,  the  skies  blue,  and  not  a 
shred  of  cloud  to  mar  the  downpour  of  the  brilliant  sunshine. 
And  finally  the  mountain  gateway  opened,  and  the  immense 
plain  lay  spread  out  below  and  stretching  away  into  dim  dis- 
tances on  every  hand,  soft  and  delicate  and  dainty  and  beauti- 
ful.    On  its  near  edge  reposed  the  city. 

We  descended  and  entered.  There  was  nothing  to  remind 
one  of  the  humble  capital  of  huts  and  sheds  of  the  long-van- 
ished day  of  the  land-boom.  Xo,  this  was  a  modern  city,  with 
wide  streets,  compactly  built :  with  hue  homes  everywhere. 
embowered  in  foliage  and  flowers,  and  with  imposing  masses  of 
public  buildings  nobly  grouped 'and  architecturally  beautiful. 

There  was  prosperity  in  the  air:  for  another  boom  was  on. 
Providence,  desiring  to  show  especial  regard  for  the  neighbor- 
ing colony  on  the  west  —  called  Western  Australia  —  and  ex- 
hibit  a  loving  interest  in  its  welfare  which  should  certify  to  all 
nations  the  recognition  of  that  colony's  conspicuous  righteous- 
ness and  distinguished  well-deserving,  had  recently  conferred 
upon  it  that  majestic  treasury  of  golden  riches,  Coolgardie ; 
and  now  South  Australia  had  gone  around  the  corner  and 
taken  it,  giving  thanks.  Everything  comes  to  him  who  is 
patient  and  good,  and  waits. 

But  South  Australia  deserves  much,  for  apparently  she  is  a 
hospitable  home  for  every  alien  who  chooses  to  come  ;  and  for 
his  religion,  too.  She  has  a  population,  as  per  the  latest  census. 
of  only  320,000-odd,  and  yet  her  varieties  of  religion  indicate 
the  presence   within  her  borders   of   samples  of  people  from 


L82 


FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 


pretty  nearly  every  part  of  the  globe  you  can  think  of.  Tabu- 
lated, these  varieties  of  religion  make  a  remarkable  show.  One 
would  have  to  go  far  to  find  its  match.  I  copy  here  this  cos- 
mopolitan curiosity,  and  it  comes  from  the  published  census: 


Church  of  England, 

89,271 

Society  of  Friends, 

100 

Roman  Catholic,   . 

47,179 

Salvation  Army,    . 

4,356 

Wesley  an, 

49,159 

New  Jerusalem  Church. 

168 

Lutheran, 

23,328 

Jews,      .... 

840 

Presbyterian, 

18,206 

Protestants  (undefined). 

5,532 

Congregationalist, 

11,882 

Mohammedans, 

299 

Bible  Christian, 

15,762 

Confucians,  etc.,   . 

3,884 

Primitive  Methodist.     . 

11,654 

Other  religions. 

1,719 

Baptist, 

17,547 

Object,  .... 

6,940 

Christian  Brethren. 

465 

Not  stated,     . 

8,046 

Methodist  New  Connexion. 

39 

Unitarian, 

688 

Total,      . 

320,431 

Church  of  Christ, 

.       3,367 

The  item  in  the  above  list  "  Other  religions  "  inclndes  the 


following  as  returned  : 


Agnostics, 
Atheists, 

Believers  in  Christ, 
Buddhists,     . 
Calvinists, 
Christadelphians,  . 
Christians,     . 
Christ's  Chapel,     . 
Christian  Israelites, 
Christian  Socialists, 
Church  of  God,     . 
Cosmopolitans, 
Deists,  . 
Evangelists,  . 
Exclusive  Brethren, 
Free  Church, 
Free  Methodists,    . 
Freethinkers, 
Followers  of  Christ, 
Gospel  Meetings,  . 
Greek  Church, 
Infidels, 
Maronites, 


50 

Memnonists.  . 

22 

Moravians,     . 

4 

Mormons, 

52 

Naturalists,    . 

46 

Orthodox, 

134 

Others  (indefinite), 

30S 

Pagans, 

9 

Pantheists,     . 

2 

Plymouth  Brethre 

6 

Rationalists,  . 

6 

Reformers,     . 

3 

Secularists,    . 

14 

Seventh-day  Adve 

60 

Shaker, 

8 

Shintoists, 

21 

Spiritualists. 

5 

Theosophists, 

258 

Town  (City)  Missii 

8 

Welsh  Chinch, 

11 

Huguenot,     . 

44 

Hussite. 

9 

Zoroastrians. 

2 

Zwinglian,     . 

ntists 


1 

139 

4 

2 

4 

17 

20 

3 

111 

4 

7 

12 

203 

1 

24 

37 

9 

16 

27 

2 

1 

2 

1 


A    HEALTHY    RELIGIOUS    ATMOSPHERE. 


183 


About  64  roads  to  the  other  world.  You  see  how  healthy  the 
religious  atmosphere  is.  Anything  can  live  in  it.  Agnostics. 
Atheists,  Freethinkers,  Infidels,  Mormons,  Pagans.  Indefinites: 
they  are  all  there.  And  all  the  big  sects  of  the  world  can  do 
more  than  merely  live  in  it:  they  can  spread,  flourish,  prosper. 
All  except  the  Spiritualists  and  the  Theosophists.  That  is  the 
most  curious  feature  of  this  curious  table.  What  is  the  matter 
with  the  specter?  Why  do  they  puff  him  away?  He  is  a 
welcome  toy  everywhere  else  in  the  world. 


• 


"  NOT   WANTED    HERE." 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


Pity  is  for  the  living,  envy  is  for  the  dead. —  PudcPrihead  Wilson1 8  New  Calendar. 


IE  successor  of  the  sheet-iron  hamlet  of  the  mangrove 


marshes  has  that  other  Australian  specialty,  the  Bo- 
tanical Gardens.  We  cannot  have  these  paradises. 
The  best  we  could  do  would  be  to  cover  a  vast  acreage  under 
glass  and  apply  steam  heat.  But  it  would  be  inadequate,  the 
lacks  would  still  be  so  great:  the  confined  sense,  the  sense  of 
suffocation,  the  atmospheric  dimness,  the  sweaty  heat — these 
would  all  be  there,  in  place  of  the  Australian  openness  to  the 
sky,  the  sunshine  and  the  breeze.  Whatever  will  grow  under 
glass  with  us  will  flourish  rampantly  out  of  doors  in  Australia.* 
When  the  white  man  came  the  continent  was  nearly  as  poor,  in 
variety  of  vegetation,  as  the  desert  of  Sahara;  now  it  has 
everything  that  grows  on  the  earth.  In  fact,  not  Australia 
only,  but  all  Australasia  has  levied  tribute  upon  the  flora  of 
the  rest  of  the  world ;  and  wherever  one  goes  the  results  ap- 
pear,  in  gardens  private  and  public,  in  the  woodsy  walls  of  the 
highways,  and  in  even  the  forests.  If  you  see  a  curious  or 
beautiful  tree  or  bush  or  flower,  and  ask  about  it.  the  people, 
answering,  usually  name  a  foreign  country  as  the  place  of  its 
origin-  -India,  Africa,  Japan,  China,  England,  America,  Java, 
Sumatra,  New  Guinea,  Polynesia,  and  so  on. 

In  the  Zoological  Gardens  of  Adelaide  I  saw  theonlv  lausrh- 
ing  jackass  that  ever  showed  any  disposition  to  be  courteous 

*The  greatest  heat  in  Victoria,  that  there  is  an  authoritative  record  of,  was  at 
Sandhurst,  in  January,  1862.  The  thermometer  then  registered  117  degrees  in  the 
shade.  In  January,  1880,  the  heat  at  Adelaide,  South  Australia,  was  172  degrees  in 
the  sun. 

(184) 


THE    DINGO. 


185 


to  me.  This  one  opened  his  head  wide  and  laughed  like  a 
demon;  or  like  a  maniac  who  was  consumed  with  humorous 
scorn  over  a  cheap  and  degraded  pun.  It  was  a  very  human 
laimh.  If  he  had  been  out  of  sight  I  could  have  believed 
that  the  laughter  came  from  a  man.  It  is  an  odd-looking  bird, 
with  a  head  and  beak  that  are  much  too  large  for  its  body. 
In  time  man 
will  extermi- 
nate the  rest  of 
the  wild  crea- 
tures of  Aus- 
tralia, but  this 
one  will  prob- 
ably survive, 
for  man  is  his 
friend  and  lets 
h  i  m  alone. 
Alan  always 
has  a  good 
reason  for  his 
charities  to- 
w  a  r  d  s  w  i  1  d 
things,  human 
or  animal  — 
when  he  has 
any.  In  this 
case  the  bird  is 

spared  because  he  kills  snakes.     If  L.  J.  will  take  my  advice 
he  will  not  kill  all  of  them. 

In  that  garden  I  also  saw  the  wild  Australian  dog  —  the 
dingo.  He  was  a  beautiful  creature  —  shapely,  graceful,  a 
little  wolfish  in  some  of  his  aspects,  but  with  a  most  friendly 
eye  and  sociable  disposition.  The  dingo  is  not  an  importation  : 
he  was  present  in  great  force  when  the  whites  first  came  to  the 


-y  "  '*-J!fJ*  "•>'  >."---  ***  ' 

i:~  AC*?*7':  ;■■?■#&«,, 


- 


I.Al'dlllNl.    .TACKASS. 


lsi;  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

continent.  It  may  be  that  lie  is  the  oldest  doe;  in  the  universe; 
his  origin,  his  descent,  the  place  where  his  ancestors  first  ap- 
peared, are  as  unknown  and  as  untraceable  as  are  the  camel's. 
He  is  the  most  precious  dog  in  the  world,  for  he  does  not  bark. 
I  Jut  in  an  evil  hour  he  got  to  raiding  the  sheep-runs  to  appease 
his  hunger,  and  that  sealed  his  doom,  lie  is  hunted,  now,  just 
as  if  he  were  a  wolf.  He  has  been  sentenced  to  extermination, 
and  the  sentence  will  be  carried  out.  This  is  all  right,  and  not 
objectionable.     The  world  was  made  for  man  —  the  white  man. 

South  Australia  is  confusingly  named.  All  of  the  colonies 
have  a  southern  exposure  except  one  —  Queensland.  Properly 
speaking,  South  Australia  is  middle  Australia.  It  extends 
straight  up  through  the  center  of  the  continent  like  the  middle 
board  in  a  center-table.  It  is  2,000  miles  high,  from  south  to 
north,  and  about  a  third  as  wide.  A  wee  little  spot  down  in 
its  southeastern  corner  contains  eight  or  nine-tenths  of  its 
population;  the  other  one  or  two-tenths  are  elsewhere  —  as 
elsewhere  as  they  could  be  in  the  United  States  with  all  the 
country  between  Denver  and  Chicago,  and  Canada  and  the 
Gulf  of  Mexico  to  scatter  over.     There  is  plenty  of  room. 

A  telegraph  line  stretches  straight  up  north  through  that 
2,000  miles  of  wilderness  and  desert  from  Adelaide  to  Port 
Darwin  on  the  edge  of  the  upper  ocean.  South  Australia 
built  the  line;  and  did  it  in  L871-2  when  her  population  num- 
bered only  185,000.  It  was  a  great  work  ;  for  there  were  no 
roads,  no  paths;  1,300  miles  of  the  route  had  been  traversed 
but  once  before  by  white  men  ;  provisions,  wire,  and  poles  had 
to  be  carried  over  immense  stretches  of  desert ;  wells  had  to  be 
dug  along  the  route  to  supply  the  men  and  cattle  with  water. 

A  cable  had  been  previously  laid  from  Port  Darwin  to 
Java  and  thence  to  India,  and  there  was  telegraphic  communi- 
cation with  England  from  India.  And  so,  if  Adelaide  could 
make  connection  with  Port  Darwin  it  meant  connection  with 
the  whole  world.    The  enterprise  succeeded.    One  could  watch 


THE    WHITE    MAN'S    WORLD. 


HOW   THE   TELEGRAPH    WAS    PUT   UP.  189 

the  London  markets  daily,  now  ;  the  profit  to  the  wool-growers 
of  Australia  was  instant  and  enormous. 

A  telegram  from  Melbourne  to  San  Francisco  covers  ap- 
proximately 20,000  miles — the  equivalent  of  live-sixths  of  the 
way  around  the  globe.  It  has  to  halt  along  the  way  a  good 
many  times  and  be  repeated;  still,  but  little  time  is  lost.  These 
halts,  and  the  distances  between  them,  are  here  tabulated.* 

Miles.  Miles. 

Melbourne  —  Mount  Gambier,  :>(in  Madias  —  Bombay,        .  650 

Mount   Gambier  —  Adelaide,  370  Bombay  — Aden,*.         .  1,662 

Adelaide  — Port  Augusta,     .  200  Aden  —  Suez,         .         .  .  1,346 

Port  Augusta  —  Alice  Springs.  1.036  I    Suez  —  Alexandria.       .  .  224 

Alice  Springs  —  Port  Darwin,  898  Alexandria — Malta,      .  .  828 

Port  Darwin  — Banjoewangie,  1,150  Malta  —  Gibraltar,         .  .  1,008 

Ban  joe  wan  gie  —  Batavia,      .  480  ;   Gibraltar  —  Falmouth..  .  1,061 

Batavia  —  Singapore,    .        .  553  Falmouth  —  London,    .  .  350 

Singapore  —  Penang.     .  399  :    London  —  New  York,   .  .  2,500 

Penang — Madras,         .         .  1.280  New  York  — San  Francisco,  3,500 

I  was  in  Adelaide  again,  some  months  later,  and  saw  the 
multitudes  gather  in  the  neighboring  city  of  Glenelg  to  com- 
memorate  the  Reading  of  the  Proclamation  --in  1836 --  which 
founded  the  Province.  If  I  have  at  any  time  called  it  a 
Colony.  I  withdraw  the  discourtesy.  It  is  not  a  Colony,  it  is  a 
Province;  and  officially  so.  Moreover,  it  is  the  only  one  so 
named  in  Australasia.  There  was  great  enthusiasm  ;  it  was 
the  Province's  national  holiday,  its  Fourth  of  July,  so  to 
speak.  It  is  the  pre-eminent  holiday ;  and  that  is  saying 
much,  in  a  country  where  they  seem  to  have  a  most  un-English 
mania  for  holidays.  Mainly  they  are  working-men's  holidays  ; 
for  in  South  Australia  the  workingman  is  sovereign ;  his  vote 
is  the  desire  of  the  politician — indeed,  it  is  the  very  breath  of 
the  politician's  being;  the  parliament  exists  to  deliver  the  will 
of  the  workingman.  and  the  government  exists  to  execute  it. 
The  workingman  is  a  great  power  everywhere  in  Australia, 
but  South  Australia  is"  his  paradise.  He  has  had  a  hard  time 
in  this  world,  and  has  earned  a  paradise.  I  am  glad  he  has 
found  it.     The  holidays  there  are  frequent  enough  to  be  bewil- 

*Frora  ''Round  the  Empire."     (George  R.  Parkin),  all  but  the  last  two. 


I'll i  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

dering  to  the  stranger.     I  tried  to  get  the  hang;  of  the  system, 

but  was  not  able  to  do  it. 

You  have  seen  that  the  Province  is  tolerant,  religious-wise. 
It  is  so  politically,  also.  One  of  the  speakers  at  the  Commem- 
oration banquet  —  the  Minister  of  Public  Works  —  was  an 
American,  born  and  reared  in  Xew  England.  There  is  nothing 
narrow  about  the  Province,  politically,  or  in  any  other  wax- 
that  I  know  of.  Sixty-four  religions  and  a  Yankee  cabinet 
minister.     Xo  amount  of  horse-racing-  can  damn  this  communit  v. 

The  mean  temperature  of  the  Province  is  02°.  The  death- 
rate  is  13  in  the  1,000  —  about  half  what  it  is  in  the  city  of 
New  York.  I  should  think,  and  New  York  is  a  healthy  city. 
Thirteen  is  the  death-rate  for  the  average  citizen  of  the  Prov- 
ince, but  there  seems  to  be  no  death-rate  for  the  old  people. 
There  were  people  at  the  Commemoration  banquet  who  could 
remember  Cromwell.  There  were  six  of  them.  These  Old 
Settlers  had  all  been  present  at  the  original  Reading  of  the 
Proclamation,  in  1830.  They  showed  signs  of  the  bligh tings 
and  blastings  of  time,  in  their  outward  aspect,  but  they  were 
young  within ;  young  and  cheerful,  and  ready  to  talk ;  ready 
to  talk,  and  talk  all  you  wanted;  in  their  turn,  and  out  of  it. 
They  were  down  for  six  speeches,  and  they  made  12.  The 
governor  and  the  cabinet  and  the  mayor  were  down  for  12 
speeches,  and  they  made  6.  They  have  splendid  grit,  the  Old 
Settlers,  splendid  staying  power.  Bnt  they  do  not  hear  well, 
and  when  they  see  the  mayor  going  through  motions  which 
they  recognize  as  the  introducing  of  a  speaker,  they  think  they 
are  the  one,  and  they  all  get  up  together,  and  begin  to  respond, 
in  the  most  animated  way  ;  and  the  more  the  mayor  gesticu- 
lates, and  shouts  "  Sit  down  !  Sit  down  !  "  the  more  they  take 
it  for  applause,  and  the  more  excited  and  reminiscent  and  en- 
thusiastic they  get ;  and  next,  when  they  see  the  whole  house 
laughing  and  crving,  three  of  them  think  it  is  about  the  bitter 
old-time  hardships  they  are  describing,  and  the  other  three 


THE   <H. I)   SETTLERS. 


THE   COMMEMORATION   BANQUET.  193 

think  the  laughter  is  caused  by  the  jokes  they  have  been  un- 
corking—  jokes  of  the  vintage  of  1836 — and  then  the  way 
they  do  go  on !  And  finally  when  ushers  come  and  plead,  and 
beg,  and  gently  and  reverently  crowd  them  down  into  their 
seats,  they  say,  "Oh,  I'm  not  tired  —  I  could  bang  along  a 
week ! "  and  they  sit  there  looking  simple  and  childlike,  and 
gentle,  and  proud  of  their  oratory,  and  wholly  unconscious  of 
what  is  coin";  on  at  the  other  end  of  the  room.  And  so  one 
of  the  great  dignitaries  gets  a  chance,  and  begins  his  carefully- 
prepared  speech,  impressively  and  with  solemnity  — 

'"When  we,  now  great  and  prosperous  and  powerful,  bow  our  heads  in 
reverent  wonder  in  the  contemplation  of  those  sublimities  of  energy,  of  wis- 
dom, of  forethought,  of  —  " 

Up  come  the  immortal  six  again,  in  a  body,  with  a  joyous 
"Hey,  I've  thought  of  another  one!"  and  at  it  they  go,  with 
might  and  main,  hearing  not  a  whisper  of  the  pandemonium 
that  salutes  them,  but  taking  all  the  visible  violences  for 
applause,  as  before,  and  hammering  joyously  away  till  the  im- 
ploring ushers  pray  them  into  their  seats  again.  And  a  pity. 
too ;  for  those  lovely  old  boys  did  so  enjoy  living  their  heroic 
youth  over,  in  these  days  of  their  honored  antiquity  ;  and  cer- 
tainly the  things  they  had  to  tell  were  usually  worth  the  tell- 
ing  and  the  hearing;. 

It  was  a  stirring  spectacle ;  stirring  in  more  ways  than  one, 
for  it  was  amazingly  funny,  and  at  the  same  time  deeply 
pathetic  ;  for  they  had  seen  so  much,  these  time-worn  veterans, 
and  had  suffered  so  much  ;  and  had  built  so  strongly  and  well, 
and  laid  the  foundations  of  their  commonwealth  so  deep,  in 
liberty  and  tolerance;  and  had  lived  to  see  the  structure  rise 
to  such  state  and  dignity  and  hear  themselves  so  praised  for 
their  honorable  work. 

One  of  these  old  gentlemen  told  me  some  things  of  interest 
afterward ;  things  about  the  aboriginals,  mainly.  He  thought 
them  intelligent  —  remarkably  so  in  some  directions — and  he 

13 


1D4- 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


said  that  along  with  tlieir  unpleasant  qualities  they  had  some 
exceedingly  good  ones ;  and  he  considered  it  a  great  pity  that 
the  race  had  died  out.  He  instanced  their  invention  of  the 
boomerang  and  the  "weet-weet"  as  evidences  of  their  bright- 
ness ;  and  as  another  evidence  of  it  lie  said  he  had  never  seen 
a  white  man  who  had  cleverness  enough  to  learn  to  do  the 
miracles  with  those  two  toys  that  the  aboriginals  achieved. 
He  said  that  even  the  smartest  whites  had  been  obliged  to  con- 
fess that  they  could  not  learn  the  trick  of  the  boomerang  in 
perfection;  that  it  had  possibilities  which  they  could  not 
master.  The  white  man  could  not  control  its  motions,  could 
not  make  it  obey  him  ;  but  the  aboriginal  could.  He  told  me 
some  wonderful  things  —  some  almost  incredible  things - 
which  he  had  seen  the  blacks  do  with  the  boomerang  and  the 
weet-weet.  They  have  been  confirmed  to  me  since  by  other 
early  settlers  and  by  trustworthy  books. 

It  is  contended  —  and  maybe  said  to  be  conceded --that 
the  boomerang  was  known  to  certain  savage  tribes  in  Europe 
in  Roman  times.  In  support  of  this,  Virgil  and  two  other 
Roman  poets  are  quoted.  It  is  also  contended  that  it  was 
known  to  the  ancient  Egyptians. 

( >ne  of  two  things  /■.' 

either  some  one  with  *  •,'  <  & 

7^Z 


is  then  apparent  : 
a  boomerang  arrived 
in  Australia  in  the 
days  of  antiquity  be- 
fore European  knowl- 
i<£,  edge  of  the  thing  had 
been  lost,  or  the  Aus- 
tralian aboriginal  re- 


K) 


ADAM    AT    PRACTICE. 


invented  it.  It  will 
take  some  time  to  find  out  which  of  these  two  propositions  is 
the  fact.     But  there  is  no  hurry. 


/ 


CHAPTER   XX. 

It  is  by  the  goodness  of  God  that  in  our  country  wo  have  those  three  un 
speakably  precious  things  :  freedom  of  speech,  freedom  of  conscience,  and  the  pru- 
dence never  to  practice  either  of  them.  —  PudtTnJiead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

rROM  diary  : 
Mr.  G-.  called.     I  had  not  seen  him  since  Xauheim, 
( T.-nnanv    -  several  years  ago;  the  time  that  the  cholera 
broke   out    at    Hamburg.      "We  talked  of  the  people  we  had 
known  there,  or  had  casually  met ;  and  G.  said  : 

••  Do  von  remember  my  introducing  yon  to  an  earl  —  the 

Earl  of  C.?" 

-  Yes.  That  was  the  last  time  I  saw  you.  You  and  he 
were  in  a  carriage,  just  starting  —  belated --for  the  train.  I 
remember  it." 

k- 1  remember  it  too,  because  of  a  thing  which  happened 
then  which  I  was  not  looking  for.  He  had  told  me  a  while  be- 
fore, about  a  remarkable  and  interesting  Californian  whom  he 
had  met  and  who  was  a  friend  of  yours,  and  said  that  if  he 
should  ever  meet  you  he  would  ask  you  for  some  particulars 
about  that  Californian.  The  subject  was  not  mentioned  that 
day  at  Xauheim,  for  we  were  hurrying  away,  and  there  was 
no  time  :  but  the  thing  that  surprised  me  was  this  :  when  I  in- 
troduced you.  you  said,  'lam  glad  to  meet  your  lordship - 
again.'  The 'again'  was  the  surprise.  He  is  a  little  hard  of 
hearing,  and  didn't  catch  that  word,  and  I  thought  vou  hadn't 
intended  that  he  should.  As  we  drove  off  I  had  only  time  to 
say,  'Why,  what  do  vou  know  about  him?'  and  I  understood 
you  to  say.  'Oh,  nothing,  except  that  he  is  the  quickest  judge 

,  195) 


196  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

of  -  Then  we  were  gone,  and  I  didn't  get  the  rest.  I  won- 
dered what  it  was  that  he  was  such  a  quick  judge  of.  I  have 
thought  of  it  many  times  since,  and  still  wondered  what  it 
could  be.  lie  and  I  talked  it  over,  but  could  not  guess  it  out. 
lie  thought  it  must  be  fox-hounds  or  horses,  for  he  is  a 
good  judge  of  those  —  no  one  is  a  better.  But  you  couldn't 
know  that,  because  vou  didn't  know  him  ;  you  had  mistaken  him 
for  some  one  else;  it  must  be  that,  he  said,  because  he  knew 
you  had  never  met  him  before.  And  of  course  you  hadn't  - 
had  you  ? " 

"  Yes,  I  had." 

"  Is  that  so  \     Where  \  " 

"  At  a  fox-hunt,  in  England." 

"  How  curious  that  is.     Why,  he  hadn't  the  least  recollec- 
tion of  it.     Had  vou  anv  conversation  with  him  \  " 

"  Some  —  yes." 

"  Well,  it  left  not  the  least  impression  upon  him.  What 
did  you  talk  about '.  " 

"About  the  fox.     I  think  that  was  all." 

"Why,  that  would  interest  him;  that  ought  to  have  left  an 
impression.     What  did  he  talk  about  \  " 

"  The  fox." 

"  It's  very  curious.  I  don't  understand  it.  Did  what  he 
said  leave  an  impression  upon  you  \  " 

"Yes.  It  showed  me  that  he  was  a  quick  judge  of --how- 
ever, I  will  tell  you  all  about  it,  then  you  will  understand.  It 
was  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago-  1  s7o  or  '74.  I  had  an  Amer- 
ican friend  in  London  named  F.,  who  was  fond  of  hunting,  and 
his  friends  the  Blanks  invited  him  and  me  to  come  out  to  a 
hunt  and  be  their  guests  at  their  country  place.  In  the  morn- 
ing the  mounts  were  provided,  but  when  I  saw  the  horses  I 
changed  my  mind  and  asked  permission  to  walk.  I  had  never 
seen  an  English  hunter  before,  and  it  seemed  to  me  that   I 


THE   FOX   HUNT.  ll»ll 

could  hunt  a  fox  safer  on  the  ground.  I  had  always  been  diffi- 
dent about  horses,  anyway,  even  those  of  the  common  alti- 
tudes, and  I  did  not  feel  competent  to  hunt  on  a  horse  that 
went  on  stilts.  So  then  Mrs.  Blank  came  to  my  help  and  said 
I  could  go  with  her  in  the  dog-cart  and  we  would  drive  to  a 
place  she  knew  of,  and  there  we  should  have  a  good  glimpse  of 
the  hunt  as  it  went  by. 

"  When  we  got  to  that  place  I  got  out  and  went  and  leaned 
my  elbows  on  a  low  stone  wall  which  enclosed  a  turfy  and 
beautiful  great  field  with  heavy  wood  on  all  its  sides  except 
ours.  Mrs.  Blank  sat  in  the  dog-cart  fifty  yards  away,  which 
was  as  near  as  she  could  get  with  the  vehicle.  I  was  full  of 
interest,  for  I  had  never  seen  a  fox-hunt.  1  waited,  dreaming 
and  imagining,  in  the  deep  stillness  and  impressive  tranquility 
which  reigned  in  that  retired  spot.  Presently,  from  away  off 
in  the  forest  on  the  left,  a  mellow  bugle-note  came  floating; 
then  all  of  a  sudden  a  multitude  of  dogs  burst  out  of  that  forest 
and  went  tearing  by  and  disappeared  in  the  forest  on  the  right ; 
there  was  a  pause,  and  then  a  cloud  of  horsemen  in  black  caps 
and  crimson  coats  plunged  out  of  the  left-hand  forest  and  went 
flaming  across  the  field  like  a  prairie-fire,  a  stirring  sight  to 
see.  There  was  one  man  ahead  of  the  rest,  and  lie  came  spur- 
ring  straight  at  me.  He  was  fiercelv  excited.  It  was  fine  to 
see  him  ride;  he  was  a  master  horseman.  He  came  like  a 
storm  till  he  was  within  seven  feet  of  me.  where  I  was  leaning 
on  the  wall,  then  he  stood  his  horse  straight  up  in  the  air  on 
his  hind  toe-nails,  and  shouted  like  a  demon  : 

"  k  Which  way'd  the  fox  go  I ' 

"I  didn't  much  like  the  tone,  but  I  did  not  let  on  ;  for  he 
was  excited,  you  know.  But  I  was  calm  ;  so  I  said  softly,  and 
without  acrimony  : 

"'Which  fox?' 


200  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

'•It  seemed  to  anger  him.  I  don't  know  why;  and  he 
thundered  out  : 

"  '  117/  ich  fox  i    Why,  the  fox  \    Which  way  did  the  fox  go?' 

"I  said,  with  great  gentleness  —  even  argumentative! v  : 

"  •  If  you  could  be  a  little  more  definite  —  a  little  less  vague 
-because  I  am  a  stranger,  and  there  are  many  foxes,  as  vou 
will  know  even  better  than  I,  and  unless  I  know  which  one  it 
is  that  vou  desire  to  identify,  and  — ' 

"  'You're  certainly  the  damdest  idiot  that  has  escaped  in  a 
thousand  years !  '  and  he  snatched  his  great  horse  around  as 
easily  as  I  would  snatch  a  cat,  and  was  away  like  a  hurricane. 
A  very  excitable  man. 

"I  Avent  back  to  Mrs.  Blank,  and  she  was  excited,  too  —  oh. 
all  alive.     She  said  : 

"  '  He  spoke  to  you  !  —  didn't  he  ? ' 

"  '  Yes,  it  is  what  happened.' 

••  •  I  knew  it !  I  couldn't  hear  what  he  said,  but  I  knem  he 
spoke  to  you  !  Do  you  know  who  it  was  '.  It  was  Lord  C,  — 
and  he  is  Master  of  the  Buckhounds !  Tell  me  —  what  do  you 
think  of  him  I ' 

"  '  Him  '.  Well,  for  sizing-up  a  stranger,  he's  got  the  most 
sudden  and  accurate  judgment  of  any  man  I  ever  saw.' 

"It  pleased  her.     I  thought  it  would." 

G.  got  away  from  Xauheim  just  in  time  to  escape  being 
shut  in  by  the  quarantine-bars  on  the  frontiers;  and  so  did  we, 
for  we  left  the  next  day.  But  <t.  had  a  great  deal  of  trouble 
in  getting  by  the  Italian  custom-house,  and  we  should  have 
fared  likewise  but  for  the  thoughtfulness  of  our  consul-general 
in  Frankfort.  He  introduced  me  to  the  Italian  consul-general, 
and  I  brouo'ht  away  from  that  consulate  a  letter  which  made 
our  way  smooth.  It  was  a  dozen  lines  merely  commending  me 
in  a  g-eneral  way  to  the  courtesies  of  servants  in  his  Italian 
Majesty's  service,  but  it  was  more  powerful  than  it  looked.    In 


PASSING   ITALIAN    CUSTOMS.  201 

addition  to  a  raft  of  ordinary  baggage,  we  had  six  or  eight 
trunks  which  were  filled  exclusively  with  dutiable  stuff—house- 
hold goods  purchased  in  Frankfort  for  use  in  Florence,  where 
we  had  taken  a  house.  1  was  going  to  ship  these  through  by 
express;  but  at  the  last  moment  an  order  went  throughout  Ger- 
many forbidding  the  moving  of  any  parcels  by  train  unless  the 
owner  went  with  them.  This  was  a  bad  outlook.  We  must 
take  these  things  along,  an  1  the  delay  sure  to  bo  caused  by  the 
examination  of  them  in  the  custom-house  might  lose  us  our 
train.  I  imagined  all  sorts  of  terrors,  and  enlarged  them 
steadily  as  we  approached  the  Italian  frontier.  We  were  six 
in  number,  clogged  with  all  that  baggage,  and  I  was  courier 
for  the  party  --the  most  incapable  one  they  ever  employed. 

We  arrived,  and  pressed  with  the  crowd  into  the  immense 
custom-house,  and  the  usual  worries  began;  everybody  crowd- 
ing to  the  counter  and  begging  to  have  his  baggage  examined 
first,  and  all  hands  clattering  and  chattering  at  once.  It  seemed 
to  me  that  I  could  do  nothing;  it  would  be  better  to  give  it  all 
up  and  go  away  and  leave  the  baggage.  I  couldn't  speak  the 
language;  I  should  never  accomplish  anything.  Just  then  a 
tall  handsome  man  in  a  fine  uniform  was  passing  by  and  I 
knew  he  must  Ira  the  station-master  —  and  that  reminded  me  of 
my  letter.  I  ran  to  him  and  put  it  into  his  hands.  He  took  it 
out  of  the  envelope,  and  the  moment  his  eye  caught  the  royal 
coat  of  arms  printed  at  its  top,  he  took  off  his  cap  and  made  a 
beautiful  bow  to  me,  and  said  in  English  — 

•'Which  is  your  baggage?     Please  show  it  to  me." 

1  showed  him  the  mountain.  Nobody  was  disturbing  it  ; 
nobody  was  interested  in  it;  all  the  family's  attempts  to  get 
attention  to  it  had  failed  —  except  in  the  case  of  one  of  the  trunks 
containing  the  dutiable  goods.  It  was  just  being  opened.  My 
officer  said  — 

•■  There,  let  that  alone!     Lock  it.     Now  chalk  it.     Chalk 


202  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR 

all  of  the  lot.  Now  please  come  and  show  me  the  hand-bag- 
gage." 

He  plowed  through  the  waiting  crowd,  1  following,  to  the 
counter,  and  he  gave  orders  again,  in  his  emphatic  military 
way  — 

"  Chalk  these.     ( 'balk  all  of  them." 

Then  he  took  off  his  cap  and  made  that  beautiful  bow  again, 
and  went  his  way.  By  this  time  these  attentions  had  attracted 
the  wonder  of  that  acre  of  passengers,  and  the  whisper  had 
gone  around  that  the  royal  family  were  present  getting  their 
baggage  chalked  ;  and  as  we  passed  down  in  review  on  our  way 
to  the  door,  I  was  conscious  of  a  pervading  atmosphere  of  envy 
which  gave  me  deep  satisfaction. 

But  soon  there  was  an  accident.  My  overcoat  pockets  were 
stuffed  with  German  cigars  and  linen  packages  of  American 
smoking  tobacco,  and  a  porter  was  following  us  around  with 
this  overcoat  on  his  arm,  and  gradually  getting  it  upside  down. 
Just  as  I,  in  the  rear  of  my  family,  moved  by  the  sentinels  at 
the  door,  about  three  hatfuls  of  the  tobacco  tumbled  out  on  the 
floor.  One  of  the  soldiers  pounced  upon  it,  gathered  it  up  in 
his  arms,  pointed  back  whence  I  had  come,  and  marched  me 
ahead  of  him  past  that  long  wall  of  passengers  again — he 
chattering  and  exulting  like  a  devil,  they  smiling  in  peaceful 
joy,  and  I  trying  to  look  as  if  my  pride  was  not  hurt,  and  as  if 
I  did  not  mind  being  brought  to  shame  before  these  pleased 
people  who  had  so  lately  envied  me.  But  at  heart  I  was 
cruelly  humbled. 

When  I  had  been  marched  two-thirds  of  the  long  distance 
and  the  misery  of  it  was  at  the  worst,  the  stately  station-mas- 
ter stepped  out  from  somewhere,  and  the  soldier  left  me  and 
darted  after  him  and  overtook  him  ;  and  I  could  see  by  the 
soldier's  excited  gestures  that  he  was  betraying  to  him  the 
whole  shabby  business.     The  station-master  was  plainly  very 


> 
a 

a 

a 
a 

o 

~< 

33 

a 

-3 
a 

S> 

O 

a 


THE    HONORS   OF    WAR. 


205 


angr} 


lie  came  striding  down  toward  me,  and  when  he  was 
come  near  he  began  to  pour  out  a  stream  of  indignant  Italian  ; 
then  suddenly  took  off  his  hat  and  made  that  beautiful  bow 
and  said  — 

"Oh,  it  is  you!  I  beg  a  thousands  pardons!  This  idiot 
liere  —  "  He  turned  to  the  exulting  soldier  and  burst  out  with 
a  Hood  of  Avhite-hot  Italian  lava,  and  the  next  moment  he  was 
bowing,  and  the  soldier  and  I  were  moving  in  procession  again 

he  in  the  lead  and  ashamed,  this  time,  I  with  my  chin  up. 
And  so  we  marched  by  the  crowd  of  fascinated  passengers,  and 
I  went  forth  to  the  train  with  the  honors  of  war.     Tobacco  and 


THE    ROYAL   LETTER 


CHAPTEK  XXI. 

Man  will   do  many  things  to   get    himself   loved,  he   will  do  all  tilings  to  get 
himself  envied. — Tud&rCJiead   Wilson's  .V"'  Calendar. 


B 


EFORE  I  saw  Australia  I  had  never  heard  of  the 
"weet-weet"  at  all.  I  met  but  few  men  who  had  seen 
it   Thrown — at   least    I  met  but  few  who  mentioned 


having  seen  it  thrown.  Roughlv  described,  it  is  a  fat  wooden 
cigar  with  its  butt-end  fastened  to  a  flexible  twig.  The  whole 
thing  is  only  a  couple  of  feet  long,  and  weighs  less  than  two 
ounces.  This  feather  —  so  to  call  it-- is  not  thrown  through 
the  air,  but  is  flung  with  an  underhanded  throw  and  made  to 
strike  the  ground  a  little  way  in  front  of  the  thrower;  then  it 
glances  and  makes  a  long  skip;  glances  again,  skips  again,  and 
again  and  again,  like  the  flat  stone  which  a  boy  sends  skating 
over  the  water.  The  water  is  smooth,  and  the  stone  has  a 
good  chance:  so  a  strong  man  may  make  it  travel  fifty  or 
seventy-five  yards  :  but  the  weet-weet  has  no  such  good  chance, 
for  it  strikes  sand,  grass,  and  earth  in  its-  course.  Yet  an 
expert  aboriginal  has  sent  it  a  measured  distance  of  two 
hundred  and  twenty  yards.  It  would  have  gone  even  further 
but  it  encountered  rank  ferns  and  underwood  on  its  passage 
and  they  damaged  its  speed.  Two  hundred  and  twenty  yards  ; 
and  so  weightless  a  toy  —  a  mouse  on  the  end  of  a  bit  of  wire, 
ia  effect:  and  not  sailing  through  the  accomodating  air,  but 
encountering  glass  and  sand  and  stuff  at  every  jump.  It  looks 
wholly  impossible :  but  Mr.  Brough  Smyth  saw  the  feat  and 
did  the  measuring,  and  set  down  the  facts  in  his  book  about 
aboriginal  life,  which  he  wrote  by  command  of  the  Victorian 
Government. 

i  206 ) 


ABORIGINAL   SCIENCE.  207 

What  is  the  secret  of  the  feat?  No  one  explains.  It 
cannot  be  physical  strength,  for  that  could  not  drive  such  a 
feather-weight  any  distance.  It  must  be  art.  But  no  one  ex- 
plains what  the  art  of  it  is;  nor  how  it  gets  around  that  law 
of  nature  which  says  you  shall  not  throw  any  two-ounce  thing 
220  yards,  cither  through  the  air  or  humping  along- the  ground. 
Rev.  J.  (t.  W Is  says : 

'•The  distance  to  which  the  weet-weet  or  kangaroo-pal  can  be  thrown  is 
truly  astonishing.  I  have  seen  an  Australian  stand  at  one  side  of  Kennington 
Oval  and  throw  the  kangaroo-rat  completely  across  it."  (Width  of  IvenniiiL:- 
ton  Oval  not  state. 1.  "  It  darts  through  the  air  with  the  sharp  and  menac- 
ing his-  of  a  rifle-ball,  its  greatesl   height  from  the  ground  being  some  seven 

or  eight  feet When  properly  thrown  it  looks  just  like  a  living 

animal   leaping   along Its   movements    have    a    wonderful 

resemblance  to  the  long  leaps  of  a  kangaroo-rat  fleeing  in  alarm,  with  its  Ion- 
tail  trailing  behind  it." 

The  Old  Settler  said  that  he  had  seen  distances  made  by  the 
weet-weet,  in  the  early  days,  which  almost  convinced  him  that 
it  was  as  extraordinary  an  instrument  as  the  boomerang. 

There  must  have  been  a  large  distribution  of  acuteness 
among1  those  naked  skinny  aboriginals,  or  thev  couldn't  have 
been  such  unapproachable  trackers  and  boomerangers  and 
weet-weeters.  It  must  have  been  race-aversion  that  put  upon 
them  a  good  deal  of  the  low-rate  intellectual  reputation  which 
they  bear  and  have  borne  this  long  time  in  the  world's  estimate 
of  them. 

They  were  lazy  —  always  lazy.  Perhaps  that  was  their 
trouble.  It  is  a  killing  defect.  Surely  thev  could  have  in- 
vented  and  built  a  competent  house,  but  they  didn't.  And 
they  could  have  invented  and  developed  the  agricultural  arts, 
but  they  didn't.  They  went  naked  and  houseless,  and  lived 
on  fish  and  grubs  and  worms  and  wild  fruits,  and  were  just 
plain  savages,  for  all  their  smartness. 

With  a  country  as  big  as  the  United  States  to  live  and 
multiply  in,  and  with  no  epidemic  diseases  among  them  till  the 


2i>8 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


THE    WHITE   MANS  APPLIANCES. 


white    man    came    with   those   and   his   other   appliances  of 
civilization,  it  is  quite  probable  that  there  was  never  a  day  in 
his  history  when  he  could  muster  100,000  of  his  race   in  all 
Australia.     He  diligently  and  deliberately  kept  popu- 
lation down  by  infanticide  —  largely;  but  mainly  by 

certain  other  methods.     He 
did    not    need    to    practise 
these  artificialities  any  more 
after  the  white  man  came. 
The  white  man  knew  ways 
of  keeping  down  population 
which   were    worth 
several   of    his.      The 
white  man  knew  ways 
of  reducing  a  native 
population    So  per 
cent,  in  20  vears.     The 
native  had  never  seen  anything  as  fine  as  that  before. 

For  example,  there  is  the  case  of  the  country  now  called 
Victoria — a  country  eighty  times  as  large  as  Tthode  Island,  as 
I  have  already  said.  By  the  best  official  guess  there  were 
4,500  aboriginals  in  it  when  the  whites  came  along  in  the 
middle  of  the 'Thirties.  Of  these,  1,000  lived  in  Gippsland, 
a  patch  of  territory  the  size  of  fifteen  or  sixteen  Rhode  Islands  : 
they  did  not  diminish  as  fast  as  some  of  the  other  communities; 
indeed,  at  the  end  of  forty  years  there  were  still  200  of  them 
left.  The  Geelong  tribe  diminished  more  satisfactorily:  from 
173  persons  it  faded  to  34  in  twenty  years;  at  the  end  of 
another  twenty  the  tribe  numbered  one  person  altogether. 
The  two  Melbourne  tribes  could  muster  almost  300  when  the 
white  man  came ;  they  could  muster  but  twenty,  thirty-seven 
years  later,  in  1875.  In  that  year  there  were  still  odds  and 
ends  of  tribes  scattered  about  the  colonv  of  Victoria,  but   I 


THE   PROPER  MEDICINE.  209 

was  told  that  natives  of  full  blood  are  very  scarce  now.  It  is 
said  that  the  aboriginals  continue  in  some  force  in  the  huge 
territory  called  Queensland. 

The  early  whites  were  not  used  to  savages.  They  could 
not  understand  the  primary  law  of  savage  life:  that  if  a  man 
do  you  a  wrong,  his  whole  tribe  is  responsible  — each  individual 
of  it  —  and  you  may  take  your  change  out  of  any  individual 
of  it,  without  bothering  to  seek  out  the  guilty  one.  When  a 
white  killed  an  aboriginal,  the  tribe  applied  the  ancient  law, 
and  killed  the  first  white  they  came  across.  To  the  whites 
this  was  a  monstrous  thing.  Extermination  seemed  to  be  the 
proper  medicine  for  such  creatures  as  this.  They  did  not  kill 
all  the  blacks,  but  they  promptly  killed  enough  of  them  to 
make  their  own  persons  safe.  From  the  dawn  of  civilization 
down  to  this  day  the  Avhite  man  has  always  used  that  very 
precaution.  Mrs.  Campbell  Praed  lived  in  Queensland,  as  a 
child,  in  the  early  days,  and  in  her  "  Sketches  of  Australian 
life,"  we  get  informing  pictures  of  the  early  struggles  of  the 
white  and  the  black  to  reform  each  other. 

Speaking  of  pioneer  days  in  the  mighty  wilderness  of 
Queensland,  Mrs.  Praed  says: 

"  At  first  the  natives  retreated  before  the  whites  ;  and,  except  that  they 
every  now  and  then  speared  a  beast  in  one  of  the  herds,  gave  little  cause  for 
uneasiness.  But,  as  the  number  of  squatters  increased,  each  one  taking  up 
miles  of  country  and  bringing  two  or  three  men  in  his  train,  so  that  shepherds' 
huts  and  stockmen's  camps  lay  far  apart,  and  defenseless  in  the  midst  of 
hostile  tribes,  the  Blacks'  depredations  became  more  frequent  and  murder 
•was  no  unusual  event. 

"The  loneliness  of  the  Australian  bush  can  hardly  be  painted  in  words. 
Here  extends  mile  after  mile  of  primeval  forest  where  perhaps  foot  of  white 
man  has  never  trod  — ■  interminable  vistas  where  the  eucalyptus  trees  rear  their 
lofty  trunks  and  spread  forth  their  lanky  limbs,  from  which  the  red  gum 
oozes  and  hangs  in  fantastic  pendants  like  crimson  stalactites  ;  ravines  along 
the  sides  of  which  the  long-bladed  grass  grows  rankly  ;  level  untimbered 
plains  alternating  with  undulating  tracts  of  pasture,  here  and  there  broken 
by  a  stony  ridge,  steep  gully,  or  dried-up  creek.  All  wild,  vast  and  desolate  ; 
all  the  same  monotonous  gray  coloring,  except  where  the  wattle,   when  in 


210  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

blossom,  shows  patches  of  feathery  gold,  or  a  belt  of  scrub  lies  green,  glossy, 
and  impenetrable  as  Indian  jungle. 

"The  solitude  seems  intensified  by  the  strange  sounds  of  reptiles,  birds, 
and  insects,  and  by  the  absence  of  larger  creatures  ;  of  which  in  the  day- 
time, the  only  audible  signs  are  the  stampede  of  a  herd  of  kangaroo,  or  the 
rustle  of  a  wallabi,  or  a  dingo  stirring  the  grass  as  it  creeps  to  its  lair.  But 
there  are  the  whirring  of  locusts,  the  demoniac  chuckle  of  the  laughing  jack- 
ass, the  screeching  of  cockatoos  and  parrots,  the  hissing  of  the  frilled  lizard, 
and  the  buzzing  of  innumerable  insects  hidden  under  the  dense  undergrowth. 
And  then  at  night,  the  melancholy  wailing  of  the  curlews,  the  dismal  howling 
of  dingoes,  the  discordant  croaking  of  tree-frogs,  might  well  shake  the 
nerves  of  the  solitary  watcher. " 

That  is  the  theater  for  the  drama.  When  you  comprehend 
one  or  two  other  details,  you  will  perceive  how  well  suited  for 
trouble  it  was,  and  how  loudly  it  invited  it.  The  cattlemen's 
stations  were  scattered  over  that  profound  wilderness  miles 
and  miles  apart  —  at  each  station  half  a  dozen  persons.  There 
was  a  plenty  of  cattle,  the  black  natives  were  always  ill- 
nourished  and  hungry.  The  land  belonged  to  them.  The 
whites  had  not  bought  it,  and  couldn't  buy  it ;  for  the  tribes 
had  no  chiefs,  nobody  in  authority,  nobody  competent  to  sell 
and  convey  ;  and  the  tribes  themselves  had  no  comprehension 
of  the  idea  of  transferable  ownership  of  land.  The  ousted 
owners  were  despised  by  the  white  interlopers,  and  this  opinion 
was  not  hidden  under  a  bushel.  More  promising  materials  for 
a  tragedy  could  not  have  been  collated.     Let  Mrs.  Praed  speak : 

"At  Nie  Nie  station,  one  dark  night,  the  unsuspecting  hut-keeper,  having, 
as  he  believed,  secured  himself  against  assault,  was  lying  wrapped  in  his 
blankets  sleeping  profoundly.  The  Blacks  crept  stealthily  down  the  chimney 
and  battered  in  his  skull  while  he  slept." 

One  could  guess  the  whole  drama  from  that  little  text. 

The  curtain  was  up.      It  would  not  fall  until  the  mastership  of 

one  party  or  the  other  was  determined  —  and  permanently  : 

"  There  was  treachery  on  both  sides.     The  Blacks  killed  the  Whites  when 

they  found  them  defenseless,  and  the  Whites  slew  the  Blacks  in  a  wholesale 

and  promiscuous  fashion  which  offended  against  my  childish  sense  of  justice. 

.     .     .     They  were  regarded  as  little  above  the  level  of  brutes,  and  in  some 

cases  were  destroyed  like  vermin. 


A  CHRISTMAS   PUDDING. 


211 


"  Here  is  an  instance.  Asqualter,  whose  station  was  surrounded  by  Blacks, 
whom  he  suspected  to  be  hostile  and  from  whom  he  feared  an  attack,  parleyed 
with  them  from  his  house-door.  He  told  them  it  was  Christmas-time  —  a  time 
at  which  all  men,  black  or  white,  feasted  ;  that  there  were  Hour,  sugar-plums, 
good  things  in  plenty  in  the  store,  and  that  he  would  make  for  them  such  a 
pudding  as  they  had  never  dreamed  of  —  a  great  pudding  of  which  all  might 
eat  and  be  rilled.  The  Blacks  listened  and  were  lost.  The  pudding  was 
made  and  distributed.  Next  morning  there  was  howling  in  the  camp,  for  it 
had  been  sweetened  with  sugar  and  arsenic  !  " 

The  white  man's  spirit  was  right,  but  his  method  was 
wrong.  His  spirit  was  the  spirit  which  the  civilized  white  has 
always  exhibited  toward  the  savage,  but  the  use  of  poison  was 
a  departure  from  custom.  True,  it  was  merely  a  technical 
departure,  not  a  real  one ;  still,  it  was  a  departure,  and  there- 
fore a  mistake,  in  my  opinion.      It  was  better,  kinder,  swifter, 


•i  tit-; 


USUAL    SPIRIT. 


and  much  more  humane  than  a  number  of  the  methods  which 
have  been  sanctified  by  custom,  but  that  does  not  justify  its 
employment.  That  is,  it  does  not  wholly  justify  it.  Its  un- 
usual nature  makes  it  stand  out  and  attract  an  amount  of 
attention  which  it  is  not  entitled  to.  It  takes  hold  upon 
morbid  imaginations  and  they  work  it  up  into  a  sort  of  exhibi- 
tion of  cruelty,  and  this  smirches  the  good  name  of  our  civiliz- 
ation, whereas  one  of  the  old  harsher  methods  would  have  had 


212  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

no  such  effect  because  usage  lias  made  those  methods  familiar 
to  us  and  innocent.  In  many  countries  we  have  chained  the 
savage  and  starved  him  to  death ;  and  this  we  do  not  care  for, 
because  custom  has  inured  us  to  it ;  yet  a  quick  death  by 
poison  is  lovingkindness  to  it.  In  many  countries  we  have 
burned  the  savage  at  the  stake ;  and  this  we  do  not  care 
for,  because  custom  has  inured  us  to  it ;  yet  a  quick  death 
is  lovingkindness  to  it.  In  more  than  one  country  we  have 
hunted  the  savage  and  his  little  children  and  their  mother 
with  dogs  and  guns  through  the  woods  and  swamps  for  an 
afternoon's  sport,  and  filled  the  region  with  happy  laughter 
over  their  sprawling  and  stumbling  flight,  and  their  wild  sup- 
plications for  mercy ;  but  this  method  we  do  not  mind,  because 
custom  has  inured  us  to  it ;  yet  a  quick  death  by  poison  is 
lovingkindness  to  it.  In  many  countries  we  have  taken  the 
savage's  land  from  him,  and  made  him  our  slave,  and  lashed 
him  every  day,  and  broken  his  pride,  and  made  death  his  only 
friend,  and  overworked  him  till  he  dropped  in  his  tracks ;  and 
this  we  do  not  care  for,  because  custom  has  inured  us  to  it ; 
yet  a  quick  death  by  poison  is  lovingkindness  to  it.  In  the 
Matabeleland  to-day  —  why,  there  we  are  confining  ourselves 
to  sanctified  custom,  we  Rhodes-Beit  millionaires  in  South 
Africa  and  Dukes  in  London  ;  and  nobody  cares,  because  we 
are  used  to  the  old  holy  customs,  and  all  we  ask  is  that  no 
notice-inviting  new  ones  shall  be  intruded  upon  the  attention  of 
our  comfortable  consciences.  Mrs.  Praed  says  of  the  poisoner, 
"  That  squatter  deserves  to  have  his  name  handed  down  to  the 
contempt  of  posterity." 

I  am  sorry  to  hear  her  say  that.  I  myself  blame  him  for 
one  thing,  and  severely,  but  I  stop  there.  I  blame  him  for 
the  indiscretion  of  introducing  a  novelty  which  was  calculated 
to  attract  attention  to  our  civilization.  There  was  no  occasion 
to  do  that.      It  was  his  duty,  and  it  is  every  loyal  man's  duty 


ONE    HUMOROUS  THING.  213 

to  protect  that  heritage  in  every  way  he  can ;  and  the  best 
way  to  do  that  is  to  attract  attention  elsewhere.  The  squat- 
ter's judgment  was  bad --that  is  plain;  but  his  heart  was 
right.  He  is  almost  the  only  pioneering  representative  of 
civilization  in  history  who  has  risen  above  the  prejudices  of  his 
caste  and  his  heredity  and  tried  to  introduce  the  element  of 
mercy  into  the  superior  race's  dealings  with  the  savage.  His 
name  is  lost,  and  it  is  a  pity ;  for  it  deserves  to  be  handed 
down  to  posterity  with  homage  and  reverence. 
This  paragraph  is  from  a  London  journal : 

"To learn  what  France  is  doing  to  spread  the  blessings  of  civilization  in 
her  distant  dependencies  we  may  turn  with  advantage  to  New  Caledonia. 
With  a  view  to  attracting  free  settlers  to  that  penal  colony,  M.  Feillet,  the 
Governor,  forcibly  expropriated  the  Kanaka  cultivators  from  the  best  of  their 
plantations,  with  a  derisory  compensation,  in  spite  of  the  protests  of  the 
Council  General  of  the  island.  Such  immigrants  as  could  be  induced  to  cross 
the  seas  thus  found  themselves  in  possession  of  thousands  of  coffee,  cocoa, 
banana,  and  bread-fruit  trees,  the  raising  of  which  had  cost  the  wretched 
natives  years  of  toil,  whilst  the  latter  had  a  few  five-franc  pieces  to  spend  in 
the  liquor  stores  of  Noumea.'' 

You  observe  the  combination  I  It  is  robbery,  humiliation, 
and  slow,  slow  murder,  through  poverty  and  the  white  man's 
whisky.  The  savage's  gentle  friend,  the  savage's  noble  friend, 
the  only  magnanimous  and  unselfish  friend  the  savage  has  ever 
had,  was  not  there  with  the  merciful  swift  release  of  his  poi- 
soned pudding. 

There  are  many  humorous  things  in  the  world;  among 
them  the  white  man's  notion  that  he  is  less  savage  than  the 


■~ 


other  savages.": 


*See  Chapter  on  Tasmania,  post. 


CHAPTEE  XXII. 

Nothing  is  so  ignorant  as  a  man's  left  hand,  except  a  lady's  watch. 

—  PudoV ' nhrail  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

YOU  notice  that  Mrs.  Praed  knows  her  art.  She  can 
place  a  thing  before  you  so  that  you  can  see  it.  She 
is  not  alone  in  that.  Australia  is  fertile  in  writers 
whose  books  are  faithful  mirrors  of  the  life  of  the  country  and 
of  its  history.  The  materials  were  surprisingly  rich,  both  in 
quality  and  in  mass,  and  Marcus  Clarke,  Ralph  B<  >ldrewo<  >d,  (Gor- 
don, Kendall,  and  the  others,  have  built  out  of  them  a  brilliant 
and  vigorous  literature,  and  one  which  must  endure.  Mate- 
rials—  there  is  no  end  to  them  !  Why,  a  literature  might  be 
made  out  of  the  aboriginal  all  by  himself,  his  character  and 
ways  are  so  freckled  with  varieties-- varieties  not  staled  bv 
familiarity,  but  new  to  us.  You  do  not  need  to  invent  any 
picturesquenesses ;  whatever  you  want  in  that  line  he  can  fur- 
nish you  ;  and  they  will  not  be  fancies  and  doubtful,  but  real- 
ities and  authentic.  In  his  history,  as  preserved  by  the  white 
man's  official  records,  he  is  everything  —  everything  that  a  hu- 
man creature  can  be.  He  covers  the  entire  ground.  He  is  a 
coward  —  there  are  a  thousand  fact  to  prove  it.  He  is  brave 
—  there  are  a  thousand  facts  to  prove  it.  He  is  treacherous  — 
oh,  beyond  imagination  !  he  is  faithful,  loyal,  true  —  the  white 
man's  records  supply  you  with  a  harvest  of  instances  of  it  that 
are  noble,  worshipful,  and  pathetically  beautiful.  He  kills  the 
starving  stranger  who  comes  begging  for  food  and  shelter  - 
there  is  proof  of  it.  He  succors,  and  feeds,  and  guides  to 
safetv,  to-day,  the  lost  stranger  who  fired  on  him  only  yester- 

(214) 


TRAITS   OF  CHARACTER.  215 

day  —  there  is  proof  of  it.  He  takes  his  reluctant  bride  by 
force,  he  courts  her  with  a  club,  then  loves  her  faithfully 
through  a  long  life — it  is  of  record.  He  gathers  to  himself 
another  wife  by  the  same  processes,  beats  and  bangs  her 
as  a  daily  diversion,  and  by  and  by  lays  down  his  life  in 
defending1  her  from  some  outside  harm  —  it  is  of  record. 
He  will  face  a  hundred  hostiles  to  rescue  one  of  his  children, 
and  will  kill  another  of  his  children  because  the  family  is  large 
enough  without  it.  His  delicate  stomach  turns,  at  certain  de- 
tails  of  the  white  man  s  food  ;  but  he  likes  over-ripe  fish,  and 
brazed  dog,  and  cat,  and  rat,  and  will  eat  his  own  uncle  with 
relish.  He  is  a  sociable  animal,  yet  he  turns  aside  and  hides 
behind  his  shield  when  his  mother-in-law  goes  by.  He  is 
childishly  afraid  of  ghosts  and  other  trivialities  that  menace 
his  soul,  but  dread  of  physical  pain  is  a  weakness  which  he  is 
not  acquainted  with.  He  knows  all  the  great  and  many  of  the 
little  constellations,  and  has  names  for  them  ;  he  has  a  symbol- 
writing  by  means  of  which  he  can  convey  messages  far  and 
wide  among  the  tribes  ;  he  has  a  correct  eye  for  form  and  ex- 
pression, and  draws  a  good  picture ;  he  can  track  a  fugitive  by 
delicate  traces  which  the  white  man's  eye  cannot  discern,  and 
by  methods  which  the  finest  white  intelligence  cannot  mas- 
ter ;  he  makes  a  missile  which  science  itself  cannot  duplicate 
without  the  model  —  if  with  it ;  a  missile  whose  secret  baffled 
and  defeated  the  searchings  and  theorizings  of  the  Avhite 
mathematicians  for  seventv  years ;  and  bv  an  art  all  his  own 
he  performs  miracles  with  it  which  the  white  man  cannot  ap- 
proach untaught,  nor  parallel  after  teaching.  Within  certain 
limits  this  savage's  intellect  is  the  alertest  and  the  brightest 
known  to  history  or  tradition  ;  and  yet  the  poor  creature  was 
never  able  to  invent  a  counting  system  that  would  reach  above 
five,  nor  a  vessel  that  he  could  boil  water  in.  He  is  the  prize- 
curiosity  of  all  the  races.     To  all  intents  and  purposes  he  is 


216  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

dead --in   the   body;    but   he  has  features  that  will  live  in 
literature. 

Mr.  Philip  Chauncv,  an  officer  of  the  Victorian  Govern- 
ment, contributed  to  its  archives  a  report  of  his  personal  ob- 
servations of  the  aboriginals  which  has  in  it  some  things  which 
I  wish  to  condense  slightly  and  insert  here.  He  speaks  of  the 
quickness  of  their  eyes  and  the  accuracy  of  their  judgment  of 
the  direction  of  approaching  missiles  as  being  quite  extraor- 
dinary, and  of  the  answering  suppleness  and  accuracy  of  limb 
and  muscle  in  avoiding  the  missile  as  being  extraordinary  also. 
He  has  seen  an  aboriginal  stand  as  a  target  for  cricket-balls 
thrown  with  great  force  ten  or  fifteen  yards,  by  professional 
bowlers,  and  successfully  dodge  them  or  parry  them  with  his 
shield  during  about  half  an  hour.  One  of  those  balls,  properly 
placed,  could  have  killed  him ;  "  Yet  he  depended,  with  the 
utmost  self-possession,  on  the  quickness  of  his  eye  and  his 
agility." 

The  shield  was  the  customary  war-shield  of  his  race,  and 
would  not  be  a  protection  to  you  or  to  me.  It  is  no  broader 
than  a  stovepipe,  and  is  about  as  long  as  a  man's  arm.  The 
opposing  surface  is  not  flat,  but  slopes  away  from  the  center- 
line  like  a  boat's  bow.  The  difficulty  about  a  cricket-ball  that 
has  been  thrown  with  a  scientific  "  twist "  is,  that  it  suddenly 
changes  it  course  when  it  is  close  to  its  target  and  comes 
straight  for  the  mark  when  apparently  it  was  going  overhead 
or  to  one  side.  I  should  not  be  able  to  protect  myself  from 
such  balls  for  half-an-hour,  or  less. 

Mr.  Chauncv  once  saw  "  a  little  native  man  "  throw  a  cricket- 
ball  119  yards.  This  is  said  to  beat  the  English  professional 
record  by  thirteen  yards. 

We  have  all  seen  the  circus-man  bound  into  the  air  from  a 
spring-board  and  make  a  somersault  over  eight  horses  standing 
side  by  side.     Mr.  Chauncv  saw  an  aboriginal  do  it  over  eleven ; 


EXPERT   NATIVES.  217 

and  was  assured  that  he  had  sometimes  done  it  over  fourteen. 
IJut  what  is  that  to  this  : 

"  I  saw  the  same  man  leap  from  the  (/round,  and  in  going  over  he  dipped 
his  head,  unaided  by  his  hands,  into  a  hat  placed  in  an  inverted  position  on  the 
top  of  the  head  of  another  man  sitting  upright  on  horseback  —  both  man  and 
horse  being  of  the  average  size.  The  native  landed  on  the  other  side  of  the 
horse  with  the  hat  fairly  on  his  head.  The  prodigious  height  of  the  leap,  and 
the  precision  with  which  it  was  taken  so  as  to  enable  him  to  dip  his  head  into 
the  hat,  exceeded  any  feat  of  the  kind  I  have  ever  beheld." 

I  should  think  so  !  On  board  a  ship  lately  I  saw  a  young 
Oxford  athlete  run  four  steps  and  spring  into  the  air  and 
squirm  his  hips  by  a  side-twist  over  a  bar  that  was  five  and 
one-half  feet  high ;  but  he  could  not  have  stood  still  and 
cleared  a  bar  that  was, four  feet  high.  I  know  this,  because  I 
tried  it  myself. 

One  can  see  now  where  the  kangaroo  learned  its  art. 

Sir  George  Grey  and  Mr.  Eyre  testify  that  the  natives  dug 
wells  fourteen  or  fifteen  feet  deep  and  two  feet  in  diameter  at 
the  bore  —  dug  them  in  the  sand-- wells  that  were  "quite  cir- 
cular, carried  straight  down,  and  the  work  beautifully  exe- 
cuted:' 

Their  tools  were  their  hands  and  feet.  How  did  they 
throw  sand  out  from  such  a  depth  '.  How  could  they  stoop 
down  and  get  it,  with  only  twTo  feet  of  space  to  stoop  in  '. 
How  did  they  keep  that  sand-pipe  from  caving  in  on  them? 
I  do  not  know.  Still,  they  did  manage  those  seeming  impossi- 
bilities.    Swallowed  the  sand,  may  be. 

Mr.  Chaimcy  speaks  highly  of  the  patience  and  skill  and 
alert  intelligence  of  the  native  huntsman  when  he  is  stalking 
the  emu,  the  kangaroo,  and  other  game  : 

"As  he  walks  through  the  bush  his  step  is  light,  elastic,  and  noiseless; 
ev<  ry  track  on  the  earth  catches  his  keen  eye  ;  a  leaf,  or  fragment  of  a  stick 
turned,  or  a  blade  of  grass  recently  bent  by  the  tread  of  one  of  the  lower  ani- 
mals, instantly  arrests  his  attention  ;  in  fact,  nothing  escapes  his  quick  and 
powerful  sight  on  the  ground,  in  the  trees,  or  in  the  distance,  which  may 
supply  him  with  a  meal  or  warn  him  of  danger.     A  little  examination  of  the 


218 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


trunk  of  a  tree  which  may  be  nearly  covered  with  the  scratches  of  opossums 
ascending  and  descending  is  sufficient  to  inform  him  whether  one  went  up  the 
night  before  without  coming  down  again  or  not." 

Fennimore  Cooper  lost  his  chance.  He  would  have  known 
how  to  value  these  people.  He  wouldn't  have  traded  the  dull- 
est of  them  for  the  brightest  Mohawk  he  ever  invented. 

All  savages  draw  outline  pictures  upon  bark ;  but  the  re- 
semblances are  not  close,  and  expression  is  usually  lacking. 
But  the  Australian  aboriginal's  pictures  of  animals  were  nicely 
accurate  in  form,  attitude,  carriage ;    and  he  put  spirit  into 

them,  and  expres- 
sion. And  his  pic- 
tures of  white  peo- 
ple and  natives 
were  pretty  nearly 
as  good  as  his  pic- 
tures  of  the  other 
animals.  He 
dressed  his  whites 
in  the  fashion  of 
their  day,  both  the 
ins  place  in  art.  ladies  and  the  gen- 

tlemen. As  an  untaught  wielder  of  the  pencil  it  is  not  likely 
that  he  has  had  his  equal  among  savage  people. 

His  place  in  art  — as  to  drawing,  not  color- work  —  is  well 
up,  all  things  considered.  His  art  is  not  to  be  classified  with 
savage  art  at  all,  but  on  a  plane  two  degrees  above  it  and  one 
degree  above  the  lowest  plane  of  civilized  art.  To  be  exact, 
his  place  in  art  is  between  Botticelli  and  De  Maurier.  That  is 
to  say,  he  could  not  draw  as  well  as  De  Maurier  but  better 
than  Boticelli.  In  feeling,  he  resembles  both  ;  also  in  group- 
ing and  in  his  preferences  in  the  matter  of  subjects.  His 
"  corrobboree  "  of  the  Australian  wilds  reappears  in  De  Man- 


SURGERY   AND   STOLIDITY.  219 

rier's  Belgravian  ballrooms,  with  clothes  and  the  smirk  of 
civilization  added;  Botticelli's  "Spring"  is  the  corrobboree 
further  idealized,  but  with  fewer  clothes  and  more  smirk. 
And  well  enough  as  to  intention,  hut--m.j  word  ! 

The  aboriginal  can  make  a  fire  by  friction.  I  have  tried 
that. 

All  savages  are  able  to  stand  a  good  deal  of  physical  pain. 
The  Australian  aboriginal  has  this  quality  in  a  well-developed 
decree.  Do  not  read  the  following  instances  if  horrors  are  not 
pleasant  to  you.  They  were  recorded  by  the  Kev.  Henry  1ST. 
Wolloston,  of  Melbourne,  who  had  been  a  surgeon  before  he 
became  a  clergyman  : 

1.  "In  the  summer  of  1852  I  started  on  horseback  from  Albany,  King 
( Li  life's  Sound,  to  visit  at  Cape  Riche,  accompanied  by  a  native  on  foot. 
We  traveled  about  forty  miles  the  first  day,  then  camped  by  a  water-hole  for 
the  night.  After  cooking  and  eating  our  supper.  I  observed  the  native,  who 
had  said  nothing  to  me  on  the  subject,  collect  the  hot  embers  of  the  fire  to- 
gether, and  deliberately  place  his  right  foot  in  the  glowing  mass  for  a  moment, 
then  suddenly  withdraw  it,  stamping  on  the  ground  and  uttering  a  long- 
drawn  guttural  sound  of  mingled  pain  and  satisfaction.  This  operation  he 
repeated  several  times.  On  my  inquiring  the  meaning  of  his  strange  conduct, 
he  only  said,  '  Me  carpenter-make  'em'  (  'I  am  mending  my  foot'),  and  then 
showed  me  his  charred  great  toe,  the  nail  of  which  had  been  torn  off  by  a  tea- 
tree'  slump,  in  which  it  had  been  caught  during  the  journey,  and  the  pain  of 
which  he  had  borne  with  stoical  composure  until  the  evening,  when  he  had  an 
opportunity  of  cauterizing  the  wound  in  the  primitive  manner  above  de- 
scribed." 

And  he  proceeded  on  the  journey  the  next  day,  "as  if 

nothing  had  happened '"  —  and  walked  thirty  miles.     It  was  a 

strange  idea,  to  keep  a  surgeon  and  then  do  his  own  surgery. 

2.  "A  native  about  twenty-five  years  of  age  once  applied  to  me,  as  a 
doctor,  to  extract  the  wooden  barb  of  a  spear,  which,  during  a  tight  in  the 
bush  some  four  months  previously,  had  entered  his  chest,  just  missing  the 
heart,  and  penetrated  the  viscera  to  a  considerable  depth.  The  spear  had 
been  cut  off,  leaving  the  barb  behind,  which  continued  to  force  its  way  by 
muscular  action  gradually  toward  the  back  ;  and  when  I  examined  him  I 
could  feel  a  hard  substance  between  the  ribs  below  the  left  blade-bone.  I 
made  a  deep  incision,  and  with  a  pair  of  forceps  extracted  the  barb,  which 
was  made,  as  usual,  of  hard  wood  about  four  inches  long  and  from  half  an  inch 
to  an  inch  thick.     It  was  very  smooth,  and  partly  digested,  so  to  speak,  by 


220  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

tlic  maceration  to  which  it  had  been  exposed  during  its  four  months'  journey 
through  the  body.  The  wound  made  by  the  spear  had  long  since  healed, 
leaving  only  a  small  cicatrix  ;  and  alter  the  operation,  which  the  native  bore 
without  flinching,  he  appeared  to  suffer  no  pain.  Indeed,  judging  from  his 
good  state  of  health,  the  presence  of  the  foreign  matter  did  not  materially  an- 
noy him.     He  was  perfectly  well  in  a  few  days." 

But  Xo.  3  is  my  favorite.     Whenever  I  read  it  I  seem  to 
enjoy  all  that  the  patient  enjoyed  — whatever  it  was  : 

3.  "  Once  at  King  George's  Sound  a  native  presented  himself  to  me  with 
one  leg  only,  and  requested  me  to  supply  him  with  a  wooden  leg.  He  had 
traveled  in  this  maimed  state  about  ninety-six  miles,  for  this  purpose.  I  ex- 
amined the  limb,  which  had  been  severed  just  below  the  knee,  and  found  that 
it  had  been  charred  by  fire,  while  about  two  inches  of  the  partially  calcined 


NO   FEELING   IN   IT. 

bone  protruded  through  the  flesh.  I  at  once  removed  this  with  the  saw  ; 
and  having  made  as  presentable  a  stump  of  it  as  I  could,  covered  the  ampu- 
tated end  of  the  bone  with  a  surrounding  of  muscle,  and  kept  the  patient  a 
few  days  under  my  care  to  allow  the  wound  to  heal.  On  inquiring,  the  na- 
tive told  me  that  in  a  fight  with  other  blackfellows  a  spear  had  struck  his  leg 
and  penetrated  the  bone  below  the  knee.  Finding  it  was  serious,  he  had  re- 
course to  the  following  crude  and  barbarous  operation,  which  it  appears  is  not 
uncommon  among  these  people  in  their  native  state.  He  made  a  fire,  and  dug 
a  hole  in  the  earth  only  sufficiently  large  to  admit  his  leg,  and  deep  enough  to 
allow  the  wounded  part  to  be  on  a  level  with  the  surface  of  the  ground.  He 
then  surrounded  tin  limb  loith  t7ie  live  codlx  or  charcoal,  which  was  replenished 
until  the  leg  was  literally  burnt  off.  The  cauterization  thus  applied  com- 
pletely checked  the  hemorrhage,  and  he  was  able  in  a  day  or  two  to  hobble 
down  to  the  Sound,  with  the  aid  of  a  long  stout  stick,  although  he  was  more 
than  a  week  on  the  road." 


AUSTRALIAN  SLANG.  221 

But  he  was  a  fastidious  native.  He  soon  discarded  the 
wooden  leg-  made  for  him  by  the  doctor,  because  "  it  had  no 
feeling  iti  it."  It  must  have  had  as  much  as  the  one  he  burnt 
off,  I  should  think. 

So  much  for  the  Aboriginals.  It  is  difficult  for  me  to  let 
them  alone.  They  are  marvelously  interesting  creatures.  For 
a  quarter  of  a  century,  now,  the  several  colonial  governments 
have  housed  their  remnants  in  comfortable  stations,  and  fed 
them  well  and  taken  good  care  of  them  in  every  way.  If  I 
had  found  this  out  while  I  was  in  Australia  I  could  have  seen 
some  of  those  people  —  but  I  didn't.  I  would  walk  thirty  miles 
to  see  a  stuffed  one. 

Australia  has  a  slang  of  its  own.  This  is  a  matter  of 
course.  The  vast  cattle  and  sheep  industries,  the  strange 
aspects  of  the  country,  and  the  strange  native  animals,  brute 
and  human,  are  matters  which  would  naturally  breed  a  local 
slang.  I  have  notes  of  this  slang  somewhere,  but  at  the  mo- 
ment I  can  call  to  mind  only  a  few  of  the  words  and  phrases. 
They  are  expressive  ones.  The  wide,  sterile,  unpeopled  deserts 
have  created  eloquent  phrases  like  "  No  Man's  Land  "  and  the 
"  Never-never  Country."  Also  this  felicitous  form  :  "  She  lives 
in  the  Never-never  Country  "  —  that  is,  she  is  an  old  maid.  And 
this  one  is  not  without  merit:  "  heifer-paddock  "— young 
ladies'  seminary.  "Bail  up"  and  "stick  up"  —  equivalent  of 
our  highwayman-term  to  "hold  up"  a  stage-coach  or  a  train. 
"  New-chum  "  is  the  equivalent  of  our  "  tenderfoot "  —  new 
arrival. 

And  then  there  is  the  immortal  "  My  word ! "  We  must 
import  it.  "  M-y  word  !  "  In  cold  print  it  is  the  equivalent  of 
our  "  Qer^reat  Ccesarf  "  but  spoken  with  the  proper  Australian 
unction  and  fervency,  it  is  worth  six  of  it  for  grace  and  charm 
and  expressiveness.  Our  form  is  rude  and  explosive ;  it  is  not 
suited  to  the  drawing-room  or  the  heifer-paddock ;  but  "  M-y 


ooo 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


word/1'  is,  and  is  music  to  the  ear.  too,  when  the  utterer 
knows  how  to  say  it.  I  saw  it  in  print  several  times  on  the 
Pacific  Ocean,  but  it  struck  me  coldly,  it  aroused  no  sympathy. 
That  was  because  it  was  the  dead  corpse  of  the  thing,  the  soul 
was  not  there  —  the  tones  were  lacking  —  the  informing  spirit 
—  the  deep  feeling  —  the  eloquence.  But  the  first  time  I  heard 
an  Australian  say  it,  it  was  positively  thrilling. 


x,  -y  jt  J 


imM/</Y$//l  mte 


\      4\ 


CHAPTEE   XXIII. 

Be  careless  in  your  dress  if  you  must,  but  keep  a  tidy  soul. 

—  J'njh Vrita  -i'l  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

VE  left  Adelaide  in  due  course,  and  went  to  Horsham, 
in  the  colony  of  Victoria ;  a  good  deal  of  a  journey, 
if  I  remember  rightly,  but  pleasant.  Horsham  sits 
in  a  plain  which  is  as  level  as  a  floor  —  one  of  those  famous 
dead  levels  which  Australian  books  describe  so  often;  gray, 
bare,  sombre,  melancholy,  baked,  cracked,  in  the  tedious  long 
drouths,  but  a  horizonless  ocean  of  vivid  green  grass  the  day 
after  a  rain.  A  country  town,  peaceful,  reposeful,  inviting, 
full  of  snug  homes,  with  garden  plots,  and  plenty  of  shrubbery 
and  flowers. 

"Horsham,  October  17.  At  the  hotel.  The  weather  divine. 
Across  the  way,  in  front  of  the  London  Bank  of  Australia,  is  a 
very  handsome  cottonwood.  It  is  in  opulent  leaf,  and  every 
leaf  perfect.  The  full  power  of  the  on-rushing  spring  is  upon 
it.  and  I  imagine  I  can  see  it  grow.  Alongside  the  bank  and  a 
little  way  back  in  the  garden  there  is  a  row  of  soaring  fountain- 
sprays  of  delicate  feathery  foliage  quivering  in  the  breeze,  and 
mottled  with  flashes  of  light  that  shift  and  play  through  the 
mass  like  flash-lights  through  an  opal  —  a  most  beautiful  tree, 
and  a  striking  contrast  to  the  cottonwood.  Every  leaf  of  the 
cottonwood  is  distinctly  defined  —  it  is  a  kodak  for  faithful, 
hard,  unsentimental  detail ;  the  other  an  impressionist  picture, 
delicious  to  look  upon,  full  of  a  subtle  and  exquisite  charm,  but 
all  details  fused  in  a  swoon  of  vague  and  soft  loveliness." 

It  turned  out,  upon  inquiry,  to  be  a  pepper  tree  —  an  im- 

(223) 


224 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


portation  from  China.  It  has  a  silky  sheen,  soft  and  rich, 
I  saw  some  that  had  long  red  bunches  of  currant-like  berries 
ambushed  among  the  foliage.  At  a  distance,  in  certain  lights, 
they  give  the  tree  a  pinkish  tint  and  a  new  charm. 

There  is  an  agricultural  college  eight  miles  from  Horsham. 
We  were  driven  out  to  it  by  its  chief.  The  conveyance  was 
an  open  wagon  ;  the  time,  noonday  ;  no  wind ;  the  sky  with- 
out a  cloud,  the  sunshine  brilliant — and  the  mercury  at  92°  in 
the  shade.  In  some  countries  an  indolent  unsheltered  drive  of 
an  hour  and  a  half  under  such  conditions  would  have  been  a 

sweltering  and  prostrating  experi- 
ence ;  but  there  was  nothing  of  that 
in  this  case.  It  is  a  climate  that 
is  perfect.  There  was  no  sense  of 
heat;  indeed,  there  was  no  heat; 
the  air  was  fine  and  pure  and  exhil- 
arating-; if  the  drive  had  lasted  half 
a  day  I  think  we  should  not  have 
felt  any  discomfort,  or  grown  silent 
or  droopy  or  tired.  Of  course,  the 
secret  of  it  was  the  exceeding  dry- 
ness of  the  atmosphere.  In  that 
plain  112°  in  the  shade  is  without 
doubt  no  harder  upon  a  man  than  is 
88°  or  90°  in  New  York. 

The  road  lay  through  the  middle 
of  an  empty  space  which  seemed  to  me  to  be  a  hundred  yards 
wide  between  the  fences.  I  was  not  given  the  width  in  yards, 
but  only  in  chains  and  perches  —  and  furlongs,  I  think.  I 
would  have  given  a  good  deal  to  know  what  the  width  was, 
but  I  did  not  pursue  the  matter.  I  think  it  is  best  to  put 
up  with  information  the  way  you  get  it ;  and  seem  satisfied 
with  it,  and  surprised  at  it,  and  grateful  for  it,  and  say,  "  My 


A   WIDE   SPACE. 


THE   AUSTRALIAN    MAGPIE.  225 

word!''  and  never  let  on.  It  was  a  wide  space;  I  could  tell 
you  how  wide,  in  chains  and  perches  and  furlongs  and  things, 
but  that  would  not  help  you  any.  Those  things  sound  well, 
but  thev  are  shadowy  and  indefinite,  like  troy  weight  and 
avoirdupois;  nobody  knows  what  they  mean.  When  you 
buy  a  pound  of  a  drug  and  the  man  asks  you  which  you 
want,  troy  or  avoirdupois,  it  is  best  to  say  ''Yes,''  and  shift 
the  subject. 

They  said  that  the  wide  space  dates  from  the  earliest  sheep 
and  cattle-raising  days.  People  had  to  drive  their  stock  long- 
distances —  immense  journeys  —  from  worn-out  places  to  new 
ones  where  were  water  and  fresh  pasturage;  and  this  wide 
space  had  to  be  left  in  grass  and  unfenced,  or  the  stock  would 
have  starved  to  death  in  the  transit. 

On  the  way  we  saw  the  usual  birds  —  the  beautiful  little 
green  parrots,  the  magpie,  and  some  others;  and  also  the 
slender  native  bird  of  modest  plumage  and  the  eternally-for- 
getable  name — the  bird  that  is  the  smartest  among  birds,  and 
can  give  a  parrot  Sn  to  1  in  the  game  and  then  talk  him  to 
death.  I  cannot  recall  that  bird's  name.  I  think  it  begins 
with  M.  I  wish  it  began  with  Gh  or  something  that  a  person 
can  remember. 

The  magpie  was  out  in  great  force,  in  the  fields  and  on  the 
fences.  He  is  a  handsome  large  creature,  with  snowy  white 
decorations,  and  is  a  singer;  lie  has  a  murmurous  rich  note  that 
is  lovely.  He  was  once  modest,  even  diffident  ;  but  he  lost  all 
that  when  he  found  out  that  he  was  Australia's  sole  musical 
bird.  He  has  talent,  and  cuteness,  and  impudence ;  and  in  his 
tame  state  he  is  a  most  satisfactory  pet  —  never  coming  when 
he  is  called,  always  coming  when  he  isn't,  and  studying  dis- 
obedience  as  an  accomplishment.  He  is  not  confined,  but  loafs 
all  over  the  house  and  grounds,  like  the  laughing:  jackass.  I 
15 


226  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

think  he  learns  to  talk,  I  know  he  learns  to  sing  times,  and  his 
friends  say  that  he  knows  how  to  steal  without  learning.  I 
was  acquainted  with  a  tame  magpie  in  Melbourne.  He  had 
lived  in  a  lady's  house  several  years,  and  believed  he  owned  it. 
The  lady  had  tamed  him,  and  in  return  he  had  tamed  the  lady. 
He  was  always  on  deck  when  not  wanted,  always  having  his 
own  way,  always  tyrannizing  over  the  dog,  and  always  making 
the  cat's  life  a  slow  sorrow  and  a  martyrdom.  He  knew  a 
number  of  tunes  and  could  sing  them  in  perfect  time  and 
tune ;  and  would  do  it,  too,  at  any  time  that  silence  was  wanted  ; 
and  then  encore  himself  and  do  it  again ;  but  if  he  was  asked 
to  sing-  he  would  go  out  and  take  a  walk. 

It  was  long  believed  that  fruit  trees  would  not  grow  in  that 
baked  and  waterless  plain  around  Horsham,  but  the  agricul- 
tural college  has  dissipated  that  idea.  Its  ample  nurseries  were 
producing  oranges,  apricots,  lemons,  almonds,  peaches,  cherries, 
48  varieties  of  apples — in  fact,  all  manner  of  fruits,  and  in 
abundance.  The  trees  did  not  seem  to  miss  the  water  ;  they 
were  in  vigorous  and  flourishing  condition. 

Experiments  are  made  with  different  soils,  to  see  what 
things  thrive  best  in  them  and  what  climates  are  best  for 
them.  A  man  who  is  ignorantly  trying  to  produce  upon  his 
farm  thing's  not  suited  to  its  soil  and  its  other  conditions  can 
make  a  journey  to  the  college  from  anywhere  in  Australia, 
and  go  back  with  a  change  of  scheme  which  will  make  his  farm 
productive  and  profitable. 

There  were  forty  pupils  there — a  few  of  them  farmers,  re- 
learning  their  trade,  the  rest  young  men  mainly  from  the 
cities  —  novices.  It  seemed  a  strange  thing  that  an  agricul- 
tural college  should  have  an  attraction  for  city-bred  youths, 
but  such  is  the  fact.  They  are  good  stuff,  too ;  they  are  above 
the  agricultural  average  of  intelligence,  and  they  come  without 


SHEEP   SHEARING.  227 

any  inherited  prejudices  in  favor  of  hoary  ignorances  made 
sacred  by  long  descent. 

The  students  work  all  day  in  the  fields,  the  nurseries,  and 
the  shearing-sheds,  learning  and  doing  all  the  practical  work  of 
the  business  —  three  days  in  a  week.  On  the  other  three  they 
study  and  hear  lectures.  They  are  taught  the  beginnings  of 
such  sciences  as  bear  upon  agriculture — like  chemistry,  for 
instance.  We  saw  the  sophomore  class  in  sheep-shearing  shear 
a  dozen  sheep.  They  did  it  by  hand,  not  with  the  machine. 
The  sheep  was  seized  and  flung  down  on  his  side  and  held 
there ;  and  the  students  took  off  his  coat  with  great  celerity 
and  adroitness.  Sometimes  they  clipped  off  a  sample  of  the 
sheep,  but  that  is  customary  with  shearers,  and  they  don't  mind 
it ;  they  don't  even  mind  it  as  much  as  the  sheep.  They  dab  a 
splotch  of  sheep-dip  on  the  place  and  go  right  ahead. 

The  coat  of  wool  was  unbelievably  thick.  Before  the  shear- 
ing the  sheep  looked  like  the  fat  woman  in  the  circus ;  after  it 
he  looked  like  a  bench.  He  was  clipped  to  the  skin ;  and 
smoothly  and  uniformly.  The  fleece  comes  from  him  all  in 
one  piece  and  has  the  spread  of  a  blanket. 

The  college  was  flying  the  Australian  flag  —  the  gridiron  of 
England  smuggled  up  in  the  northwest  corner  of  a  big  red 
field  that  had  the  random  stars  of  the  Southern  Cross  wander- 
ing around  over  it. 

From  Horsham  we  went  to  Stawell.  By  rail.  Still  in  the 
colony  of  Victoria.  Stawell  is  in  the  gold-mining  country. 
In  the  bank-safe  was  half  a  peck  of  surface-gold — gold  dust, 
grain  gold  ;  rich ;  pure  in  fact,  and  pleasant  to  sift  through 
one's  fingers  ;  and  would  be  pleasanter  if  it  would  stick.  And 
there  were  a  couple  of  gold  bricks,  very  heavy  to  handle, 
and  worth  s7,r>oo  a  piece.  They  were  from  a  very  valuable 
quartz  mine ;  a  lady  owns  two-thirds  of  it ;  she  has  an  income 
of  s7r>.000  a  month  from  it,  and  is  able  to  keep  house. 


•2-2S 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


The  Stawell  region  is  not  productive  of  gold  only ;  it  has 
great  vineyards,  and  produces  exceptionally  line  wines.  One 
of  these  vineyards  —  the  Great  Western,  owned  bv  Mr.  Irvine 
■ — is  regarded  as  a  model.  Its  product  lias  reputation  abroad. 
It  yields  a  choice  champagne  and  a  line  claret,  and  its  hock 
took  a  prize  in  France  two  or  three  years  ago.  The  champagne 
is  kept  in  a  maze  of  passages  under  ground,  cut  in  the  rock,  to 
secure  it  an  even  temperature  during  the  three-year  term  re- 
quired to  perfect  it.  In  those  vaults  I  saw  120,000  bottles  of 
champagne.  The  colony  of  Victoria  has  a  population  of  1,000,- 
000,  and  those  people  are  said  to  drink  25,000,000   bottles  of 


THE     THRKK     BISTERS. 


champagne  per  year.  The  dryest  community  on  the  earth. 
The  government  has  lately  reduced  the  duty  upon  foreign 
wines.  That  is  one  of  the  unkindnesses  of  Protection.  A  man 
invests  years  of  work  and  a  vast  sum  of  money  in  a  worthy 
enterprise,  upon  the  faith  of  existing  laws:  then  the  law  is 
changed,  and  the  man  is  robbed  by  his  own  government. 

On  the  way  back  to  Stawell  we  had  a  chance  to  see  a  group 
of  boulders  called  the  Three  Sisters  —  a  curiosity  oddly  located  : 
for  it  was  upon  high  ground,  with  the  land  sloping  away  from 


SAD    BUT   INTELLIGENT   GUM-TREES.  229 

it,  and  no  height  above  it  from  whence  the  boulders  could  have 
rolled  down.  Relics  of  an  early  ice-drift,  perhaps.  They  are 
noble  boulders.  One  of  them  has  the  size  and  smoothness  and 
plump  sphericity  of  a  balloon  of  the  biggest  pattern. 

The  road  led  through  a  forest  of  great  gum-trees,  lean  and 

©  DO 

scraggy  and  sorrowful.  The  road  was  cream-white  —  a  clayey 
kind  of  earth,  apparently.  Along  it  toiled  occasional  freight 
wagons,  drawn  bv  long  double  files  of  oxen.  Those  wagons 
were  going  a  journey  of  two  hundred  miles.  1  was  told,  and 
were  running  a  successful  opposition  to  the  railway!  The  rail- 
ways are  owned  and  run  by  the  government. 

Those  sad  gums  stood  up  out  of  the  dry  white  clay,  pictures 
of  patience  and  resignation.  It  is  a  tree  that  can  get  along 
without  water:  still  it  is  fond  of  it  —  ravenously  so.  It  is  a 
very  intelligent  tree  and  will  detect  the  presence  of  hidden 
water  at  a  distance  of  fifty  feet,  and  send  out  slender  long  root- 
fibres  to  prospect  it.  They  will  find  it ;  and  will  also  get  at  it 
—  even  through  a  cement  wall  six  inches  thick.  Once  a 
cement  water-pipe  under  ground  at  Stawell  began  to  gradually 
reduce  its  output,  and  finally  ceased  altogether  to  deliver 
water.  Upon  examining  into  the  matter  it  was  found  stopped 
up,  wadded  compactly  with  a  mass  of  root-fibres,  delicate  and 
hair-like.  How  this  stuff  had  gotten  into  the  pipe  was  a  puz- 
zle for  some  little  time:  finally  it  was  found  that  it  had  crept 
in  through  a  crack  that  was  almost  invisible  to  the  eye.  A 
gum  tree  forty  feet  away  had  tapped  the  pipe  and  was  drink- 
ing the  water. 


CHAPTER  XXIY. 

There  is  no  such  thing  as  "the  Queen's  English."  The  property  has  gone  into 
the  hands  of  a  joint  stock  company  and  we  own  the  bulk  of  the  shares ! 

—  PudcVnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

FREQUENTLY,  in  Australia,  one  has  cloud-effects  of  an 
unfamiliar  sort.  "We  bad  this  kind  of  scenery,  finely 
staged,  all  the  way  to  Ballarat.  Consequently  we  saw 
more  sky  than  country  on  that  journey.  At  one  time  a  great 
stretch  of  the  vault  was  densely  necked  with  wee  ragged-edged 
flakes  of  painfully  white  cloud-stuff,  all  of  one  shape  and  size, 
and  equidistant  apart,  with  narrow  cracks  of  adorable  blue 
showing  between.  The  whole  was  suggestive  of  a  hurricane  of 
snow-flakes  drifting  across  the  skies.  By  and  by  these  flakes 
fused  themselves  together  in  interminable  lines,  with  shady 
faint  hollows  between  the  lines,  the  long  satin-surfaced 
rollers  following  each  other  in  simulated  movement,  and  en- 
chantingly  counterfeiting  the  majestic  march  of  a  flowing  sea. 
Later,  the  sea  solidified  itself ;  then  gradually  broke  up  its 
mass  into  innumerable  lofty  white  pillars  of  about  one  size,  and 
ranged  these  across  the  firmament,  in  receding  and  fading  per- 
spective, in  the  similitude  of  a  stupendous  colonnade —  a  mirage 
without  a  doubt  flung  from  the  far  Gates  of  the  Hereafter. 

The  approaches  to  Ballarat  were  beautiful.  The  features, 
great  green  expanses  of  rolling  pasture-land,  bisected  by  eye- 
contenting  hedges  of  commingled  new-gold  and  old-gold  gorse 
—  and  a  lovely  lake.  One  must  put  in  the  pause,  there,  to 
fetch  the  reader  up  with  a  slight  jolt,  and  keep  him  from  glid- 
ing by  without  noticing  the  lake.     One  must  notice  it ;  for  a 

lovely  lake  is  not  as  common  a  thing  along  the  railways  of 

( 230 ) 


BALLARAT.  231 

Australia  as  are  the  dry  places.  Ninety-two  in  the  shade  again, 
but  balmy  and  comfortable,  fresh  and  bracing.  A  perfect 
climate. 

Forty-five  years  ago  the  site  now  occupied  by  the  City  of 
Ballarat  was  a  sylvan  solitude  as  quiet  as  Eden  and  as  lovely. 
Nobody  had  ever  heard  of  it.  On  the  25th  of  August,  1851, 
the  first  great  gold-strike  made  in  Australia  was  made  here. 
The  wandering  prospectors  who  made  it  scraped  up  two  pounds 
and  a  half  of  gold  the  first  day  —  worth  $600.  A  few  days 
later  the  place  was  a  hive  —  a  town.  The  news  of  the  strike 
spread  everywhere  in  a  sort  of  instantaneous  way  —  spread 
like  a  flash  to  the  very  ends  of  the  earth.  A  celebrity  so 
prompt  and  so  universal  has  hardly  been  paralleled  in  history, 
perhaps.  It  was  as  if  the  name  BALLARAT  had  suddenly 
been  written  on  the  sky,  where  all  the  world  could  read  it  at 
once. 

The  smaller  discoveries  made  in  the  colony  of  New  South 
Wales  three  months  before  had  already  started  emigrants 
toward  Australia;  they  had  been  coming  as  a  stream,  but  they 
came  as  a  flood,  now.  A  hundred  thousand  people  poured  into 
Melbourne  from  England  and  other  countries  in  a  single 
month,  and  flocked  away  to  the  mines.  The  crews  of  the  ships 
that  brought  them  flocked  with  them ;  the  clerks  in  the  gov- 
ernment offices  followed ;  so  did  the  cooks,  the  maids,  the 
coachmen,  the  butlers,  and  the  other  domestic  servants  ;  so  did 
the  carpenters,  the  smiths,  the  plumbers,  the  painters,  the  re- 
porters, the  editors,  the  lawyers,  the  clients,  the  barkeepers, 
the  bummers,  the  blacklegs,  the  thieves,  the  loose  women,  the 
grocers,  the  butchers,  the  bakers,  the  doctors,  the  druggists, 
the  nurses;  so  did  the  police;  even  officials  of  high  and 
hitherto  envied  place  threw  up  their  positions  and  joined  the 
procession.  This  roaring  avalanche  swept  out  of  Melbourne 
and  left  it  desolate,  Sunday-like,  paralyzed,  eve^thing  at  a 


232  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

stand-still,  the  ships  lying  idle  at  anchor,  all  signs  of  life  de- 
parted, all  sounds  stilled  save  the  rasping  of  the  cloud-shadows 
as  they  scraped  across  the  vacant  streets. 

That  grassy  and  leafy  paradise  at  Ballarat  was  soon  ripped 
open,  and  lacerated  and  scarified  and  gutted,  in  the  feverish 
search  for  its  hidden  riches.  There  is  nothing  like  surface- 
mining  to  snatch  the  graces  and  beauties  and  benignities  out  of 
a  paradise,  and  make  an  odious  and  repulsive  spectacle  of  it. 

"What  fortunes  were  made !  Immigrants  got  rich  while  the 
ship  unloaded  and  reloaded  —  and  went  back  home  for  good  in 
the  same  cabin  they  had  come  out  in !  Xot  all  of  them.  Only 
some.  I  saw  the  others  in  Ballarat  myself,  forty-five  years 
later  —  what  were  left  of  them  by  time  and  death  and  the  dis- 
position to  rove.  They  were  young  and  gay,  then ;  they  are 
patriarchal  and  grave,  now  ;  and  they  do  not  get  excited  any 
more.  Thev  talk  of  the  Past.  Thev  live  in  it.  Their  life  is  a 
dream,  a  retrospection. 

Ballarat  was  a  great  region  for  "  nuggets."  Xo  such  nug- 
gets were  found  in  California  as  Ballarat  produced.  In  fact, 
the  Ballarat  region  has  yielded  the  largest  ones  known  to 
history.  Two  of  them  weighed  about  180  pounds  each,  and 
together  were  worth  $90,000,  They  were  offered  to  any  poor 
person  who  would  shoulder  them  and  carry  them  away.  Gold 
was  so  plentiful  that  it  made  people  liberal  like  that. 

Ballarat  was  a  swarming  city  of  tents  in  the  early  days. 
Everybody  was  happy,  for  a  time,  and  apparently  prosperous. 
Then  came  trouble.  The  government  swooped  down  with  a 
mining  tax.  And  in  its  worst  form,  too ;  for  it  was  not  a  tax 
upon  what  the  miner  had  taken  out,  but  upon  what  he  was 
going  to  take  out  —  if  he  could  find  it.  It  was  a  license-tax  - 
license  to  work  his  claim  —  and  it  had  to  be  paid  before  he 
could  beg-in  differing:. 

Consider   the   situation.      Xo   business   is   so  uncertain    as 


THE    EUREKA   STOCKADE.  233 

surface-mining.  Your  claim  may  be  good,  and  it  may  be 
worthless.  It  may  make  you  well  off  in  a  month ;  and  then 
again  you  may  have  to  dig  and  slave  for  half  a  year,  at  heavy 
expense,  only  to  rind  out  at  last  that  the  gold  is  not  there  in 
cost-paying  quantity,  and  that  your  time  and  your  hard  work 
have  been  thrown  away.  It  might  be  wise  policy  to  advance 
the  miner  a  monthly  sum  to  encourage  him  to  develop  the 
country's  riches;  but  to  tax  him  monthly  in  advance  instead  — 
why,  such  a  thing  was  never  dreamed  of  in  America.  There, 
neither  the  claim  itself  nor  its  products,  howsoever  rich  or 
poor,  were  taxed. 

The  Ballarat  miners  protested,  petitioned,  complained  —  it 
was  of  no  use ;  the  government  held  its  ground,  and  went  on 
collecting  the  tax.  And  not  by  pleasant  methods,  but  by  ways 
which  must  have  been  very  galling  to  free  people.  The 
rumblings  of  a  coming  storm  began  to  be  audible. 

By  and  by  there  was  a  result ;  and  I  think  it  may  be  called 
the  finest  thing  in  Australasian  history.  It  was  a  revolution  — 
small  in  size,  but  great  politically  ;  it  was  a  strike  for  liberty,  a 
struggle  for  a  principle,  a  stand  against  injustice  and  oppres- 
sion. It  was  the  Barons  and  John,  over  again  ;  it  was  Hamp- 
den and  Ship-Money ;  it  was  Concord  and  Lexington ;  small 
beginnings,  all  of  them,  but  all  of  them  great  in  political 
results,  all  of  them  epoch-making.  It  is  another  instance  of  a 
victory  won  by  a  lost  battle.  It  adds  an  honorable  page  to 
history;  the  people  know  it  and  are  proud  of  it.  They  keep 
green  the  memory  of  the  men  who  fell  at  the  Eureka  Stockade, 
and  Peter  Lalor  has  his  monument. 

The  surface-soil  of  Ballarat  was  full  of  gold.  This  soil  the 
miners  ripped  and  tore  and  trenched  and  harried  and  disem- 
bowled,  and  made  it  yield  up  its  immense  treasure.  Then  they 
went  down  into  the  earth  with  deep  shafts,  seeking  the  gravelly 
beds  of  ancient  rivers  and  brooks      and  found  them.     They 


234  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

followed  the  courses  of  these  streams,  and  gutted  them,  send- 
ing the  gravel  up  in  buckets  to  the  upper  world,  and  washing- 
out  of  it  its  enormous  deposits  of  gold.  The  next  biggest  of 
the  two  monster  nuggets  mentioned  above  came  from  an  old 
river-channel  180  feet  under  ground. 

Finally  the  quartz  lodes  were  attacked.  That  is  not  poor- 
man's  mining.  Quartz-mining  and  milling  require  capital,  and 
staying-power,  and  patience.  Big  companies  were  formed, 
and  for  several  decades,  now,  the  lodes  have  been  successfully 
worked,  and  have  yielded  great  wealth.  Since  the  gold  dis- 
covery in  1853  the  Ballarat  mines  —  taking  the  three  kinds  of 
mining  together — have  contributed  to  the  world's  pocket 
something  over  three  hundred  millions  of  dollars,  which  is  to 
say  that  this  nearly  invisible  little  spot  on  the  earth's  surface 
has  yielded  about  one-fourth  as  much  gold  in  forty-four  years 
as  all  California  has  yielded  in  forty -seven.  The  Californian 
aggregate,  from  18-18  to  1895,  inclusive,  as  reported  by  the 
Statistician  of  the  United  States  Mint,  is  $1,265,217,21?. 

A  citizen  told  me  a  curious  thing  about  those  mines.  With 
all  my  experience  of  mining  I  had  never  heard  of  anything  of 
the  sort  before.  The  main  gold  reef  runs  about  north  and 
south  —  of  course  —  for  that  is  the  custom  of  a  rich  gold  reef. 
At  Ballarat  its  course  is  between  walls  of  slate.  ISow  the 
citizen  told  me  that  throughout  a  stretch  of  twelve  miles  along 
the  reef,  the  reef  is  crossed  at  intervals  by  a  straight  black 
streak  of  a  carbonaceous  nature  —  a  streak  in  the  slate;  a 
streak  no  thicker  than  a  pencil  —  and  that  wherever  it  crosses 
the  reef  you  will  certainly  find  gold  at  the  junction.  It  is 
called  the  Indicator.  Thirty  feet  on  each  side  of  the  Indicator 
(and  down  in  the  slate,  of  course)  is  a  still  finer  streak  —  a 
streak  as  fine  as  a  pencil  mark  ;  and  indeed,  that  is  its  name  — 
Pencil  Mark.  Whenever  you  find  the  Pencil  Mark  you  know 
that  thirty  feet  from  it  is  the  Indicator;  you  measure  the  dis- 


BALI.ARAT   STATUARY. 


BALLARAT   ENGLISH.  237 

tance,  excavate,  find  the  Indicator,  trace  it  straight  to  the 
reef,  and  sink  your  shaft;  your  fortune  is  made,  for  certain. 
If  that  is  true,  it  is  curious.     And  it  is  curious  any  way. 

Ballarat  is  a  town  of  only  40,000  population  ;  and  yet,  since 
it  is  in  Australia,  it  has  every  essential  of  an  advanced  and 
enlightened  big  city.  This  is  pure  matter  of  course.  I  must 
stop  dwelling  upon  these  things.  It  is  hard  to  keep  from 
dwelling  upon  them,  though  ;  for  it  is  difficult  to  get  away  from 
the  surprise  of  it.  I  will  let  the  other  details  go,  this  time,  but 
I  must  allow  myself  to  mention  that  this  little  town  has  a  park 
of  326  acres ;  a  flower  garden  of  83  acres,  with  an  elaborate 
and  expensive  fernery  in  it  and  some  costly  and  unusually  tine 
statuary:  and  an  artificial  lake  covering  600  acres,  equipped 
with  a  fleet  of  200  shells,  small  sail  boats,  and  little  steam 
yachts. 

At  this  point  I  strike  out  some  other  praiseful  things  which 

I  was  tempted  to  add.     I  do  not  strike  them  out  because  they 

were  not  true  or  not  well  said,  but  because  I  find  them  better 

said  by  another  man — and  a  man  more  competent  to  testify, 

too,  because  he  belongs  on  the  ground,  and  knows.     I  clip  them 

from  a  chatty  speech  delivered  some  years  ago  by  Mr.  William 

Little,  who  was  at  that  time  mayor  of  Ballarat  : 

"  The  language  of  our  citizens,  in  this  as  in  other  parts  of  Australasia,  is 
mostly  healthy  Anglo-Saxon,  free  from  Americanisms,  vulgarisms,  and  the 
conflicting  dialects  of  our  Fatherland,  and  is  pure  enough  to  suit  a  Trench  or 
a  Latham.  Our  youth,  aided  by  climatic  influence,  are  in  point  of  physique 
and  comeliness  unsurpassed  in  the  Sunny  South.  Our  young  men  are  well 
ordered  ;  and  our  maidens,  '  not  stepping  over  the  bounds  of  modesty,'  arc  as 
fair  as  Psyches,  dispensing  smiles  as  charming  as  November  flowers." 

The  closing  clause  has  the  seeming  of  a  rather  frosty  com- 
pliment,  but  that  is  apparent  only,  not  real.  November  is 
summer-time  there. 

His  compliment  to  the  local  purity  of  the  language  is  war- 
ranted.    It  is  quite  free  from  impurities;  this  is  acknowledged 


238  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

far  and  wide.  As  in  the  German  Empire  all  cultivated  people 
claim  to  speak  Hanovarian  German,  so  in  Australasia  all  culti- 
vated people  claim  to  speak  Ballarat  English.  Even  in  Eng- 
land this  cult  has  made  considerable  progress,  and  now  that  it 
is  favored  by  the  two  great  Universities,  the  time  is  not  far 
away  when  Ballarat  English  will  come  into  general  use  among 
the  educated  classes  of  Great  Britain  at  large.  Its  great  merit 
is,  that  it  is  shorter  than  ordinary  English  —  that  is,  it  is  more 
compressed.  At  first  you  have  some  difficulty  in  understand- 
ing it  when  it  is  spoken  as  rapidly  as  the  orator  whom  I  have 
quoted  speaks  it.  An  illustration  will  show  what  I  mean. 
When  he  called  and  I  handed  him  a  chair,  he  bowed  and  said : 

"  Q." 

Presently,  when  we  were  lighting  our  cigars,  he  held  a 
match  to  mine  and  I  said  : 

"  Thank  you,"  and  he  said  : 

"  Km.'1 

Then  I  saw.  Q  is  the  end  of  the  phrase  "  I  thank  you " 
Km  is  the  end  of  the  phrase  "  You  are  welcome.1'  Mr.  Little 
puts  no  emphasis  upon  either  of  them,  but  delivers  them  so 
reduced  that  they  hardly  have  a  sound.  All  Ballarat  English 
is  like  that,  and  the  effect  is  very  soft  and  pleasant ;  it  takes 
all  the  hardness  and  harshness  out  of  our  tongue  and  gives  to 
it  a  delicate  whispery  and  vanishing  cadence  which  charms  the 
ear  like  the  faint  rustling  of  the  forest  leaves. 


J 


^ 


:*£ 


DO   YOU    REMKMBKR   TTTAT   THIP: 


CHAPTER   XXV. 

••  Classic. "     A  book  which  people  praise  and  don't  read. 

— Padd'nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

OX  the  rail  again  —  bound  for  Bendigo.  From  diary  : 
October  23.  Got  up  at  6,  left  at  7.30  ;  soon  reached 
Castlemaine,  one  of  the  rich  gold-fields  of  the  early 
days  ;  waited  several  hours  for  a  train ;  left  at  3.40  and  reached 
Bendigo  in  an  hour.  For  comrade,  a  Catholic  priest  who  was 
better  than  I  was,  but  didn't  seem  to  know  it  —  a  man  full  of 
graces  of  the  heart,  the  mind,  and  the  spirit ;  a  lovable  man. 
He  will  rise.  He  will  be  a  bishop  some  day.  Later  an  Arch- 
bishop. Later  a  Cardinal.  Finally  an  Archangel,  I  hope. 
And  then  he  will  recall  me  when  I  say,  "  Do  you  remember 
that  trip  we  made  from  Ballarat  to  Bendigo,  when  you  were 
nothing  but  Father  C,  and  I  was  nothing  to  what  I  am  now  ?" 
It  has  actually  taken  nine  hours  to  come  from  Ballarat  to 
Bendigo.  AVe  could  have  saved  seven  by  walking.  However, 
there  was  no  hurry. 

Bendicro  was  another  of  the  rich  strikes  <>f  the  earlv  davs. 
It  does  a  great  quartz-mining  business,  now  —  that  business 
which,  more  than  any  other  that  I  know  of,  teaches  patience, 
and  requires  grit  and  a  steady  nerve.  The  town  is  full  of 
towering  chimney-stacks,  and  hoisting-works,  and  looks  like  a 
petroleum-city.  Speaking  of  patience  ;  for  example,  one  of 
the  local  companies  went  steadily  on  with  its  deep  borings  and 
searchings  without  show  of  gold  or  a  penny  of  reward  for 
eleven  yearn  —  then  struck  it,  and  became  suddenly  rich.  The 
eleven  years'  work  had  cost  $55,000,  and  the  first  gold  found 
16  (241) 


242  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

was  a  grain  the  size  of  a  pin's  head.  It  is  kept  under  locks 
and  bars,  as  a  precious  thing,  and  is  reverently  shown  to  the 
visitor,  "  hats  off."     When  I  saw  it  I  had  not  heard  its  history. 

"  It  is  gold.  Examine  it  —  take  the  glass.  Now  how  much 
should  you  say  it  is  worth  \  " 

I  said  — 

"  I  should  say  about  two  cents ;  or  in  your  English  dialect, 
four  farthings." 

"Well,  it  cost  £11,000." 

"  Oh,  come  !  " 

"  Yes,  it  did.  Ballarat  and  Bendigo  have  produced  the 
three  monumental  nuggets  of  the  world,  and  this  one  is  the 
monumentalest  one  of  the  three.  The  other  two  represent 
£9,000  a  piece ;  this  one  a  couple  of  thousand  more.  It  is 
small,  and  not  much  to  look  at,  but  it  is  entitled  to  it  name  - 
Adam.  It  is  the  Adam-nugget  of  this  mine,  and  its  children 
run  up  into  the  millions." 

Speaking  of  patience  again,  another  of  the  mines  was 
worked,  under  heavy  expenses,  during  17  years  before  pay 
was  struck,  and  still  another  one  compelled  a  wait  of  21  years 
before  pay  was  struck ;  then,  in  both  instances,  the  outlay  was 
all  back  in  a  year  or  two,  with  compound  interest. 

Bendigo  has  turned  out  even  more  gold  than  Ballarat. 
The  two  together  have  produced  $650,000,000  worth  —  which 
is  half  as  much  as  California  has  produced. 

It  was  through  Mr.  Blank  —  not  to  go  into  particulars 
about  his  name  —  it  was  mainly  through  Mr.  Blank  that  my 
stay  in  Bendigo  was  made  memorably  pleasant  and  interesting. 
He  explained  this  to  me  himself.  He  told  me  that  it  w;is 
through  his  influence  that  the  city  government  invited  me  to 
the  town-hall  to  hear  complimentary  speeches  and  respond  to 
them  ;  that  it  was  through  his  influence  that  I  had  been  taken 
on  a  long  pleasure-drive  through  the  city  and  shown  its  nota- 


INFLUENTIAL   MR.    BLANK. 


•24:i 


ble  features ;  that  it  was  through  his  influence  that  I  was 
invited  to  visit  the  great  mines;  that  it  was  through  his  in- 
fluence that  I  was  taken  to  the  hospital  and  allowed  to  see  the 

convalescent  Chinaman  who  had  been 
attacked  at  midnight  in  his  lonely  hut 
eight  weeks  before  by  robbers,  and 
stabbed  forty-six  times  and  scalped  be- 
sides ;  that  it  was  through  his  influ- 
ence that  when  I  arrived  this  awful 
spectacle  of  piecings  and  patchings  and 
bandagings  was  sitting  up  in  his  cot 
letting  on  to  read  one  of  my  books  ; 
that  it  was  through  his  influence  that 
efforts  had  been  made  to  get  the 
Catholic    Archbishop    of    Bendigo   to 


ALL  THROUGH  HIS  INFLUENCE. 


invite  me  to  dinner;  that  it  was  through  his  influence  that 
efforts  had  been  made  to  get  the  Anglican  Bishop  of  Bendigo 


2J4  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

to  ask  me  to  supper ;  that  it  was  through  his  influence  that 
the  dean  of  the  editorial  fraternity  had  driven  me  through  the 
woodsy  outlying  country  and  shown  me,  from  the  summit  of 
Lone  Tree  Hill,  the  mightiest  and  loveliest  expanse  of  forest- 
clad  mountain  and  valley  that  I  had  seen  in  all  Australia. 
And  when  he  asked  me  what  had  most  impressed  me  in 
JBendigo  and  I  answered  and  said  it  was  the  taste  and  the 
public  spirit  which  had  adorned  the  streets  with  105  miles 
of  shade  trees,  he  said  that  it  was  through  his  influence  that  it 
had  been  done. 

But  I  am  not  representing  him  quite  correctly.  He  did  not 
say  it  was  through  his  influence  that  all  these  things  had 
happened  —  for  that  would  have  been  coarse;  he  merely  con- 
veyed that  idea;  conveyed  it  so  subtly  that  I  only  caught  it 
fleetingly,  as  one  catches  vagrant  faint  breaths  of  perfume 
when  one  traverses  the  meadows  in  summer ;  conveyed  it 
without  offense  and  without  any  suggestion  of  egoism  or 
ostentation  —  but  conveyed  it,  nevertheless. 

He  was  an  Irishman;  an  educated  gentleman;  grave,  and 
kindly,  and  courteous ;  a  bachelor,  and  about  forty-five  or 
possibly  fifty  years  old,  apparently.  He  called  upon  me  at  the 
hotel,  and  it  was  there  that  we  had  this  talk.  He  made  me  like 
him,  and  did  it  without  trouble.  This  was  partly  through  his 
winning  and  gentle  ways,  but  mainly  through  the  amazing 
familiarity  with  my  books  which  his  conversation  showed. 
He  was  down  to  date  with  them,  too ;  and  if  he  had  made 
them  the  study  of  his  life  he  could  hardly  have  been  better 
posted  as  to  their  contents  than  he  was.  He  made  me  better 
satisfied  with  myself  than  I  had  ever  been  before.  It  was 
plain  that  he  had  a  deep  fondness  for  humor,  yet  he  never 
laughed  :  he  never  even  chuckled  ;  in  fact,  humor  could  not 
win  to  outward  expression  on  his  face  at  all.  No,  he 
was  always  grave  —  tenderly,  pensively  grave ;  but  he  made  rrn 


CORRIGAN   CASTLE.  245 

laugh,  all  along ;  and  this  was  very  trying  —  and  very  pleasant 
at  the  same  time  —  for  it  was  at  quotations  from  my  own  books. 

When  he  was  going,  he  turned  and  said  — 

k*  You  don't  remember  me?  " 

"  I  '.     Why,  no.     Have  we  met  before  \  " 

"No,  it  was  a  matter  of  correspondence." 

"  Correspondence  ? " 

"  Yes,  many  years  ago.  Twelve  or  fifteen.  Oh,  longer 
than  that.  But  of  course  you  — "  A  musing  pause.  Then 
he  said  — 

"  Do  you  remember  Corrigan  Castle  % " 

tk  X  -  no,  I  believe  I  don't.    I  don't  seem  to  recall  the  name." 

He  waited  a  moment,  pondering,  with  the  door-knob  in  his 
hand,  then  started  out ;  but  turned  back  and  said  that  I  had 
once  been  interested  in  Corrigan  Castle,  and  asked  me  if  I 
would  go  with  him  to  his  quarters  in  the  evening  and  take  a 
hot  Scotch  and  talk  it  over.  I  was  a  teetotaler  and  liked 
relaxation,  so  I  said  I  would. 

We  drove  from  the  lecture-hall  together  about  half-past 
ten.  He  had  a  most  comfortably  and  tastefully  furnished 
parlor,  with  good  pictures  on  the  Avails,  Indian  and  Japanese 
ornaments  on  the  mantel,  and  here  and  there,  and  books  every- 
where—  largely  mine  ;  which  made  me  proud.  The  light  was 
brilliant,  the  easy  chairs  were  deep-cushioned,  the  arrangements 
for  brewing1  and  smoking"  were  all  there.  We  brewed  and 
lit  up  ;  then  he  passed  a  sheet  of  note-paper  to  me  and  said  — 

"  Do  you  remember  that?" 

"  Oh,  yes,  indeed  !  " 

The  paper  was  of  a  sumptuous  quality.  At  the  top  was  a 
twisted  and  interlaced  monogram  printed  from  steel  dies  in 
gold  and  blue  and  red,  in  the  ornate  English  fashion  of  long 
years  ago ;  and  under  it,  in  neat  gothic  capitals  was  this  — 
printed  in  blue: 


2±6  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

The  Mark  Twain  Club 
corrigan  castle 

187.. 

"  My  !  "  said  I,  "  how  did  you  come  by  this  \  " 

"  I  was  President  of  it." 

"  No  !  —  you  don't  mean  it." 

"It  is  true.  I  was  its  first  President.  I  was  re-elected 
annually  as  long  as  its  meetings  were  held  in  my  castle  — 
Corrigan  —  which  was  five  years." 

Then  he  showed  me  an  album  with  twenty-three  photo- 
graphs of  me  in  it.  Five  of  them  were  of  old  dates,  the 
others  of  various  later  crops  ;  the  list  closed  with  a  picture 
taken  by  Falk  in  Sydney  a  month  before. 

"  You  sent  us  the  first  five  ;  the  rest  were  bought." 

This  was  paradise  !    We  ran  late,  and  talked,  talked,  talked  - 
subject,  the  Mark  Twain  Club  of  Corrigan  Castle,  Ireland. 

My  first  knowledge  of  that  Club  dates  away  back;  all  of 
twenty  years,  I  should  say.  It  came  to  me  in  the  form  of  a 
courteous  letter,  written  on  the  note-paper  which  I  have 
described,  and  signed  "  By  order  of  the  President ;  C.  Pembroke, 
Secretary."  It  conveyed  the  fact  that  the  Club  had  been  cre- 
ated in  my  honor,  and  added  the  hope  that  this  token  of 
appreciation  of  my  work  would  meet  with  ray  approval. 

I  answered,  with  thanks ;  and  did  what  I  could  to  keep  my 
gratification  from  over-exposure. 

It  was  then  that  the  long  correspondence  began.  A  letter 
came  back,  by  order  of  the  President,  furnishing  me  the  names 
of  the  members — thirty-two  in  number.  With  it  came  a  copy 
of  the  Constitution  and  By-Laws,  in  pamphlet  form,  and  artis- 
tically printed.  The  initiation  fee  and  dues  were  in  their 
proper  place ;  also,  schedule  of  meetings  —  monthly  —  for  essays 
upon  works  of  mine,  followed  by  discussions;  quarterly  for  busi- 
ness and  a  supper,  without  essays,  but  with  after-supper  speeches 


MEMBERS   OF  THE  MARK   TWAIN   CLUB. 


24-7 


also,  there  was  a  list  of  the  officers :  President,  Vice-President, 
Secretary,  Treasurer,  etc.  The  letter  was  brief,  but  it  was 
pleasant  reading,  for  it  told  me  about  the  strong  interest  which 
the  membership  took  in  their  new  venture,  etc.,  etc.  It  also 
asked  me  for  a  photograph  —  a  special  one.  I  went  down  and 
sat  for  it  and  sent  it  —  with  a  letter,  of  course. 

Presently  came  the  badge  of  the  Club,  and  very  dainty  and 
and  pretty  it  was;  and  very  artistic.  It  was  a  frog  peep- 
ing out  from  a  graceful  tangle  of  grass-sprays  and  rushes, 
and  was  done  in  enamels  on  a  gold  basis,  and  had  a  gold 
pin  back  of  it.  After  I  had  petted  it,  and 
played  with  it,  and  caressed  it,  and  enjoyed 
it  a  couple  of  hours,  the  light  happened  to 
fall  upon  it  at  a  new  angle,  and  revealed  to 
me  a  cunning  new  detail;  with  the  light  just 
right,  certain  delicate  shadings  of  the  grass- 
blades  and  rush-stems  wove  themselves  into 
a  monoaram  —  mine !  You  can  see  that  that 
jewel  was  a  work  of  art.  And  when  you  come  to  consider 
the  intrinsic  value  of  it,  you  must  concede  that  it  is  not  every 
literary  club  that  could  afford  a  badge  like  that,  It  was 
easily  worth  $75.  in  the  opinion  of  Messrs.  Marcus  and  Ward 
of  New  York.  They  said  they  could  not  duplicate  it  for  that 
and  make  a  profit. 

By  this  time  the  Club  was  well  under  way ;  and  from  that 
time  forth  its  secretary  kept  my  off-hours  well  supplied  with 
business.  He  reported  the  Club's  discussions  of  my  books  with 
laborious  fullness,  and  did  his  work  with  great  spirit  and  ability. 
As  a  rule,  he  synopsized  ;  but  when  a  speech  was  especially 
brilliant,  he  short-handed  it  and  gave  me  the  best  passages 
from  it,  written  out.  There  were  five  speakers  whom  he  par- 
ticularly favored  in  that  way  :  Palmer,  Forbes,  Xa  ylor,  Xorris, 
and  Calder.     Palmer  and   Forbes  could   never  get  through  a 


THE   CLUB    BADGE. 


248  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

speech  without  attacking  each  other,  and  each  in  his  own  way 
was  formidably  effective  —  Palmer  in  virile  and  eloquent  abuse, 
Forbes  in  courtly  and  eleg-ant  but  scalding;  satire.  I  could 
always  tell  which  of  them  was  talking  without  looking  for  his 
name.  Nay  lor  had  a  polished  style  and  a  happy  knack  at 
felicitous  metaphor;  Norris's  style  was  wholly  without  orna- 
ment, but  enviably  compact,  lucid,  and  strong.  But  after  all, 
Calder  was  the  gem.  He  never  spoke  when  sober,  he  spoke 
continuously  when  he  wTasn't.  And  certainly  they  were  the 
drunkest  speeches  that  a  man  ever  uttered.  They  were  full  of 
good  things,  but  so  incredibly  mixed  up  and  wandering  that  it 
made  one's  head  swim  to  follow  him.  They  were  not  intended 
to  be  funny,  but  they  were,  —  funny  for  the  very  gravity 
which  the  speaker  put  into  his  flowing  miracles  of  incongruity. 
In  the  course  of  five  years  I  came  to  know  the  styles  of  the 
five  orators  as  well  as  I  knew  the  style  of  any  speaker  in  my 
o  vn  club  at  home. 

These  reports  came  every  month.  They  were  written  on 
foolscap,  600  words  to  the  page,  and  usually  about  twenty-five 
pages  in  a  report  —  a  good  15,000  words,  I  should  say, —  a  solid 
week's  work.  The  reports  were  absorbingly  entertaining,  long 
as  they  were ;  but,  unfortunately  for  me,  they  did  not  come 
alone.  They  were  always  accompanied  by  a  lot  of  questions 
about  passages  and  purposes  in  my  books,  which  the  Club 
wanted  answered ;  and  additionally  accompanied  every  quarter 
by  the  Treasurer's  report,  and  the  Auditor's  report,  and  the 
Committee's  report,  and  the  President's  review,  and  my  opinion 
of  these  was  always  desired ;  also  suggestions  for  the  good  of 
the  Club,  if  any  occurred  to  me. 

By  and  by  I  came  to  dread  those  things ;  and  this  dread 
grew  and  grew  and  grew ;  grew  until  I  got  to  anticipating 
them  with  a  cold  horror.  For  I  was  an  indolent  man,  and  not 
fond  of  letter-writing,  and  whenever  these  things  came  I  had 


MEMBERS   OF   THE   CLUB.  24!> 

to  put  everything  by  and  sit  down  -for  my  own  peace  of 
mind  —  and  dig  and  dig  until  I  got  something  ont  of  my  head 
which  would  answer  for  a  reply.  I  got  along  fairly  well  the 
first  year;  but  for  the  succeeding  four  years  the  Mark  Twain 
Club  of  Corrigan  Castle  was  my  curse,  my  nightmare,  the 
grief  and  misery  of  my  life.  And  I  got  so,  so  sick  of  sitting 
for  photographs.  I  sat  every  year  for  five  years,  trying  to 
satisfy  that  insatiable  organization.  Then  at  last  I  rose  in 
revolt.  I  could  endure  my  oppressions  no  longer.  I  pulled 
my  fortitude  together  and  tore  off  my  chains,  and  was  a  free 
man  again,  and  happy.  From  that  day  I  burned  the  secreta- 
ry's fat  envelopes  the  moment  they  arrived,  and  by  and  by  they 
ceased  to  come. 

Well,  in  the  sociable  frankness  of  that  night  in  Bendigo 
I  brought  this  all  out  in  full  confession.  Then  Mr.  Blank 
came  out  in  the  same  frank  way,  and  with  a  preliminary  word 
of  gentle  apology  said  that  he  was  the  Mark  Twain  Club,  and 
the  only  member  it  had  ever  had ! 

Why,  it  was  matter  for  anger,  but  I  didn't  feel  any.  He 
said  he  never  had  to  work  for  a  living,  and  that  by  the  time 
he  was  thirty  life  had  become  a  bore  and  a  weariness  to  him. 
He  had  no  interests  left ;  they  had  paled  and  perished,  one  by 
one,  and  left  him  desolate.  He  had  begun  to  think  of  suicide. 
Then  all  of  a  sudden  he  thought  of  that  happy  idea  of  starting 
an  imaginary  club,  and  went  straightway  to  work  at  it,  with 
enthusiasm  and  love.  He  was  charmed  with  it ;  it  gave  him 
something  to  do.  It  elaborated  itself  on  his  hands  ;  it  became 
twenty  times  more  complex  and  formidable  than  was  his  first 
rude  draft  of  it.  Every  new  addition  to  his  original  plan 
which  cropped  up  in  his  mind  gave  him  a  fresh  interest  and  a 
new  pleasure.  He  designed  the  Club  badge  himself,  and 
worked  over  it,  altering  and  improving  it,  a  number  of  days 
and  nights ;  then  sent  to  London  and  had  it  made.     It  was  the 


250  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

only  one  that   was  made     It  was  made  for  me;  the  "rest  of 
the  Club  "  went  without. 

He  invented  the  thirty-two  members  and  their  names.  He 
invented  the  five  favorite  speakers  and  their  five  separate  styles. 
He  invented  their  speeches,  and  reported  them  himself.  He 
would  have  kept  that  Club  going  until  now,  if  I  hadn't  desert- 
ed, he  said.  He  said  he  worked  like  a  slave  over  those  reports ; 
each  of  them  cost  him  from  a  wTeek  to  a  fortnight's  work,  and 
the  work  gave  him  pleasure  and  kept  him  alive  and  willing  to 
be  alive.     It  was  a  bitter  blow  to  him  when  the  Club  died. 

Finally,  there  wasn't  anv  Corrigan  Castle.  He  had  invent- 
ed  that,  too. 

It  was  wonderful  —  the  whole  thing ;  and  altogether  the 
most  ingenious  and  laborious  and  cheerful  and  painstaking 
practical  joke  I  have  ever  heard  of.  And  I  liked  it ;  liked  to 
hear  him  tell  about  it ;  yet  I  have  been  a  hater  of  practical 
jokes  from  as  long  back  as  I  can  remember.     Finally  he  said  — 

"  Do  you  remember  a  note  from  Melbourne  fourteen  or  fif- 
teen years  ago,  telling  about  your  lecture  tour  in  Australia, 
and  your  death  and  burial  in  Melbourne?  —  a  note  from  Henry 
Bascomb,  of  Bascomb  Hall,  Upper  Holywell  Hants.'' 

"  Yes." 

"  I  wrote  it." 

"M-y— word!" 

"  Yes,  I  did  it.  I  don't  know  why.  I  just  took  the  notion, 
and  carried  it  out  without  stopping  to  think.  It  was  wrong. 
It  could  have  done  harm.  I  was  always  sorry  about  it  after- 
ward. You  must  forgive  me.  I  was  Mr.  Bascom's  guest 
on  his  yacht,  on  his  voyage  around  the  world.  He  often  spoke 
of  you,  and  of  the  pleasant  times  you  had  had  together  in  his 
home ;  and  the  notion  took  me,  there  in  Melbourne,  and  I 
imitated  his  hand,  and  wrote  the  letter." 

So  the  mystery  was  cleared  up,  after  so  many,  many  years. 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

There  are  people  who  can  do  all  fine  and  heroic  things  but  one  !  keep  from  telling 
their  happinesses  to  the  unhappy. — Pudd'nTiead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

AFTER  visits  to  Maryborough  and  some  other  Australian 
towns,  we  presently  took  passage  for  New  Zealand. 
If  it  would  not  look  too  much  like  showing  off,  I  would 
tell  the  reader  where  New  Zealand  is ;  for  he  is  as  I  was  ;  he 
thinks  he  knows.  And  he  thinks  he  knows  where  Hertzegovina 
is ;  and  how  to  pronounce  pariah  ;  and  how  to  use  the  word 
unique  without  exposing  himself  to  the  derision  of  the  dictionary. 
But  in  truth,  he  knows  none  of  these  things.  There  are  but  four 
or  five  people  in  the  world  who  possess  this  knowledge,  and 
these  make  their  living  out  of  it.  They  travel  from  place  to 
place,  visiting  literary  assemblages,  geographical  societies,  and 
seats  of  learning,  and  springing  sudden  bets  that  these  people 
do  not  know  these  things.  Since  all  people  think  they  know 
them,  they  are  an  easy  prey  to  these  adventurers.  Or  rather 
they  were  an  easy  prey  until  the  law  interfered  three  months 
ago,  and  a  New  York  court  decided  that  this  kind  of  gambling 
is  illegal,  "  because  it  traverses  Article  IV,  Section  9,  of  the 
Constitution  of  the  United  States,  which  forbids  betting  on  a 
sure  thing."  This  decision  was  rendered  by  the  full  Bench  of 
the  New  York  Supreme  Court,  after  a  test  sprung  upon  the 
court  by  counsel  for  the  prosecution,  which  showed  that  none  of 
the  nine  Judges  was  able  to  answer  any  of  the  four  questions. 

All  people  think  that  New  Zealand  is  close  to  Australia  or 

(25D 


252  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

Asia,  or  somewhere,  and  that  you  cross  to  it  on  a  bridge.  But 
that  is  not  so.  It  is  not  close  to  anything,  but  lies  by  itself, 
out  in  the  water.  It  is  nearest  to  Australia,  but  still  not  near. 
The  gap  between  is  very  wide.  It  will  be  a  surprise  to  the 
reader,  as  it  was  to  me,  to  learn  that  the  distance  from  Aus- 
tralia to  Xew  Zealand  is  really  twelve  or  thirteen  hundred 
miles,  and  that  there  is  no  bridge.  I  learned  this  from  Profes- 
sor X.,  of  Yale  University,  whom  I  met  in  the  steamer  on  the 
great  lakes  when  I  was  crossing  the  continent  to  sail  across  the 
Pacific.  I  asked  him  about  New  Zealand,  in  order  to  make 
conversation.  I  supposed  he  would  generalize  a  little  without 
compromising  himself,  and  then  turn  the  subject  to  something 
he  was  acquainted  with,  and  my  object  would  then  be  attained; 
the  ice  would  be  broken,  and  we  could  go  smoothly  on,  and  get 
acquainted,  and  have  a  pleasant  time.  But,  to  my  surprise,  he 
was  not  only  not  embarrassed  by  my  question,  but  seemed  to 
welcome  it,  and  to  take  a  distinct  interest  in  it.  He  began  to 
talk  —  fluently,  confidently,  comfortably  ;  and  as  he  talked,  my 
admiration  grew  and  grew ;  for  as  the  subject  developed  under 
his  hands,  I  saw  that  he  not  only  knew  where  New  Zealand 
was,  but  that  he  was  minutely  familiar  with  every  detail  of  its 
history,  politics,  religions,  and  commerce,  its  fauna,  flora,  geol- 
ogy, products,  and  climatic  peculiarities.  When  he  was  done, 
I  was  lost  in  wonder  and  admiration,  and  said  to  myself,  he 
knows  everything  ;  in  the  domain  of  human  knowledge  he  is  king. 

I  wanted  to  see  him  do  more  miracles ;  and  so,  just  for  the 
pleasure  of  hearing  him  answer,  I  asked  him  about  Hertze- 
govina,  and  pariah,  and  unique.  But  he  began  to  generalize 
then,  and  show  distress.  I  saw  that  with  Xew  Zealand  gone, 
he  was  a  Samson  shorn  of  his  locks ;  he  was  as  other  men. 
This  was  a  curious  and  interesting  mystery,  and  I  was  frank 
with  him,  and  asked  him  to  explain  it. 

He  tried  to  avoid  it  at   first;  but  then   laughed  and  said 


A  NEW   ZEALA.NDER   AT   YALE. 


!>:»:) 


that  after  all,  the  matter  was  not  worth  concealment,  so  he 
would  let  me  into  the  secret.     In  substance,  this  is  his  story : 

"Last  autumn  I  was  at  work  one  morning  at  home,  when  a  card  came 
up  —  the  card  of  a  stranger.  Under  the  name  was  printed  a  line  which 
showed  that  this  visitor  was  Professor  of  Theological  Engineering  in  Welling- 
ton University,  New  Zealand.  I  was  troubled  —  troubled,  I  mean,  by  the 
shortness  of  the  notice.  College  etiquette  required  that  he  be  at  once  invited 
to  dinner  by  some  member  of  the  Faculty  —  invited  to  dine  on  that  day—  not 
put  off  till  a  subsequent  day.  I  did  not  quite  know  what  to  do.  College 
etiquette  requires,  in  the  case  of  a  foreign  guest,  that  the  dinner-talk  shall 
begin  with  complimentary 
references  to  his  country, 
its  great  men,  its  services 
to  civilization,  its  seats  of 
learning,  and  things  like 
that  ;  and  of  course  the 
host  is  responsible,  and 
must  either  begin  this  talk 
himself  or  see  that  it  is 
done  by  some  one  else.  I 
was  in  great  difficulty;  and 
the  more  I  searched  my 
memory,  t  h e  m o  re  my 
trouble  grew.  I  found 
that  I  knew  nothing  about 
New  Zealand.  I  thought 
I  knew  where  it  was,  and 
that  was  all.  I  had  an 
impression  that  it  was 
close  to  Australia,  or  Asia, 
or  somewhere,  and  that 
one  went  over  to  it  on  a 
bridge.  This  might  turn 
out  to  be  incorrect  ;  and 
even  if  correct,  it  would 
not  furnish  matter  enough 
for  the  purpose  at  the  dinner,  and  I  should  expose  my  College  to  shame 
before  my  guest  ;  he  would  see  that  I,  a  member  of  the  Faculty  of  the  first 
University  in  America,  was  wholly  ignorant  of  his  country,  and  he  wotdd  go 
away  and  tell  this,  and  laugh  at  it,     The  thought  of  it  made  my  face  burn. 

"  I  sent  for  my  wife  and  told  her  how  I  was  situated,  and  asked  for  her 
help,  and  she  thought  of  a  thing  which  I  might  have  thought  of  myself,  if  I 
had  not  been  excited  and  worried.  She  said  she  would  go  and  tell  the  visitor 
that  I  was  out  but  would  be  in  in  a  few  minutes  ;  and  she  would  talk,  and 
keep  him  busy  while  I  got  out  the  back  way  and  hurried  over  and  make 
Professor  Lawson  give  the  dinner.  For  Lawson  knew  everything,  and 
could  meet  the  guest   in  a  creditable   way  and   save  the  reputation   of   the 


THE   SCHEME    WORKED. 


254 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


University.     1  ran  to  Lawson,  but  was  disappointed.      He  did  not  know  any- 
thing about  New   Zealand.     He  said  that,    as  far  as  his  recollection  went 
it  was  close  to  Australia,  or  Asia,  or  somewhere,  and  you 
go  over  to  it  on  a  bridge  ;  but  that  was  all  he  knew.     It 


•* 


IT 


was  too  bad.     Lawson  was 
abstruse  learning  ;   but  now 


"what  do  you?' 


a   perfect  encyclopedia   of 
in   this  hour  of   our   need, 
it  turned  out  that  he  did  not  know  any  useful  thing. 

"We  consulted.  He  saw  that  the  reputation  of  the 
University  was  in  very  real  peril,  and  he  walked  the  floor 
in  anxiety,  talking,  and  trying  to  think  out  some  way 
to  meet  the  difficulty.  Presently  he  decided  that  we 
must  try  the  rest  of  the  Faculty  —  some  of  them  might 
know  about  New  Zealand.  So  we  went  to  the  telephone 
and  called  up  the  professor  of  astronomy  and  asked  him, 
and  he  said  that  all  he  knew  was,  that  it  was  close  to 
Australia,  or  Asia,  or  somewhere,  and  you  went  over  to 
it  on  — 

"  We  shut  him  off  and  called  up  the  professor  of 
biology,  and  he  said  that  all  he  knew  was  that  it  was 
close  to  Aus — . 

"We  shut  him  off,  and  sat  down,  worried  and  dis- 
heartened, to  see  if  we  could  think  up  some  other  scheme.  WTe  shortly  hit 
upon  one  which  promised  well,  and  this  one  we  adopted,  and  set  its  ma- 
chinery going  at  once.  It  was  this.  Lawson  must  give  the  dinner.  The 
Faculty  must  be  notified  by  telephone  to  prepare.  We  must  all  get  to  work 
diligently,  and  at  the  end  of  eight  hours  and  a  half  wTe  must  come  to  dinner 
acquainted  with  New  Zealand  ;  at  least  well  enough  in- 
formed to  appear  without  discredit  before  this  native.  To 
seem  properly  intelligent  we  should  have  to  know  about 
New  Zealand's  population,  and  politics,  and  form  of  govern- 
ment, and  commerce,  and  taxes,  and  products,  and  ancient 
history,  and  modern  history,  and  varieties  of  religion,  and 
nature  of  the  laws,  and  their  codification,  and  amount  of 
revenue,  and  whence  drawn,  and  methods  of  collection,  and 
percentage  of  loss,  and  character  of  climate,  and  —  well,  a 
lot  of  things  like  that  ;  we  must  suck  the  maps  and  cyclo- 
pedias dry.  And  while  we  posted  up  in  this  way,  the 
Faculty's  wives  must  flock  over,  one  after  the  other,  in  a 
studiedly  casual  way,  and  help  my  wife  keep  the  New 
Zcalander  quiet,  and  not  let  him  get  out  and  come  interfer- 
ing with  our  studies.  The  scheme  worked  admirably;  but 
it  stopped  business,  stopped  it  entirely. 

"It  is  in  the  official  log-book  of   Yale,  to  be  read  and 
wondered  at  by  future   generations  —  the   account  of  the 
Great  Blank  Day  —  the   memorable   Blank   DajT  —  the   day 
wherein  the   wheels  of  culture  were    stopped,   a   Sunday  silence  prevailed 
all  about,  and  the  whole   University  stood   still  while  the  Faculty  read-up 


CLOSE  TO  AUS- 


RECEIVING   HIS   EDUCATION. 


255 


and  qualified  itself  to  sit  at  meat,  'without  shame,  in  the  presence    of  the 
Professor  of  Theological  Engineering  from  New  Zealand. 

"  When  we  assembled  at  the  dinner  we  were  miserably  tired  and  worn  — 
but  we  were  posted.  Yes,  it  is  fair  to  claim  that.  In  fact,  erudition  is  a 
pale  name  for  it.  New  Zealand  was  the  only  subject ;  and  it  was  just  beauti- 
ful to  hear  us  ripple  it  out.  And  with  such  an  air  of  unembarrassed  ease, 
and  unostentatious  familiarity  with  detail,  and  trained  and  seasoned  mastery 
of  the  subject  —  and  oh,  the  grace  and  fluency  of  it ! 

"  Well,  finally  somebody  happened  to  notice  that  the  guest  was  looking 
dazed,  and  wasn't  saying  anything.  So  they  stirred  him  up.  of  course.  Then 
that  man  came  out  with  a  good, 
honest,  eloquent  compliment 
that  made  the  Faculty  blush. 
He  said  he  was  not  worthy  to 
sit  in  the  company  of  men  like 
these  ;  that  he  had  been  silent 
from  admiration  ;  that  he  had 
been  silent  from  another  cause 
also  — silent  from  shame  — 
silent  from  ignorance!  'For,' 
said  he,  '  I,  who  have  lived  eigh- 
teen years  in  New  Zealand  and 
have  served  five  in  a  professor- 
ship, and  ought  to  know  much 
about  that  country,  perceive 
now,  that  I  know  almost  nothing 
about  it.  I  say  it  with  shame, 
that  I  have  learned  fifty  times, 
yes,  a  hundred  times  more  about 
New  Zealand  in  these  two  hours 
at  this  table  than  I  ever  knew 
before  in  all  the  eighteen  years 
put  together.  I  was  silent  be- 
cause I  could  not  help  myself. 
What  I  knew  about  taxes,  and 
policies,  and  laws,  and  revenue, 
and  products,  and  history,  and  all  that  multitude  of  things,  was  but  general, 
and  ordinary,  and  vague  —  unscientific,  in  a  word  — and  it  would  have  been 
insanity  to  expose  it  here  to  the  searching  glare  of  your  amazingly  accurate 
and  all  comprehensive  knowledge  of  those  matters,  gentlemen.  I  beg  you  to 
let  me  sit  silent  —  as  becomes  me.  But  do  not  change  the  subject ;  I  can  at 
least  follow  you,  in  this  one  ;  whereas  if  you  change  to  one  which  shall  call 
out  the  full  strength  of  your  mighty  erudition,  I  shall  be  as  one  lost.  If 
you  know  all  this  about  a  remote  little  inconsequent  patch  like  New  Zealand, 
ah,  what  wouldn't  you  know  about  any  other  subject  !'  ' 


UK    LOOKED    DAZEO. 


CHAPTER   XXVII. 

Man  is  the  Only  Animal  that  Blushes.     Or  needs  to. 

— ■Pudd'nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

The  universal  brotherhood  of  man  is  our  most  precious  possession,  what  there 
is  of  it.  —  Pudd'rihead   W'dson/s  New  Calendar. 

.  From  Diary  : 

NOVEMBER  l--noon.  A  fine  day,  a  brilliant  sun. 
Warm  in  the  sun,  cold  in  the  shade  —  an  icy  breeze 
blowing  out  of  the  south.  A  solemn  long  swell 
rolling  up  northward.  It  conies  from  the  South  Pole,  with 
nothing  in  the  way  to  obstruct  its  march  and  tone  its  energy 
down.  I  have  read  somewhere  that  an  acute  observer  anions: 
the  early  explorers  —  Cook?  or  Tasman?  —  accepted  this 
majestic  swell  as  trustworthy  circumstantial  evidence  that  no 
important  land  lay  to  the  southward,  and  so  did  not  waste 
time  on  a  useless  quest  in  that  direction,  but  changed  his 
course  and  went  searching  elsewhere. 

Afternoon.  Passing  between  Tasmania  (formerly  Van 
Diemen's  Land)  and  neighboring  islands  —  islands  whence  the 
poor  exiled  Tasmanian  savages  used  to  gaze  at  their  lost  home- 
land and  cry ;  and  die  of  broken  hearts.  How  glad  I  am  that 
all  these  native  races  are  dead  and  gone,  or  nearly  so.  The 
work  was  mercifully  swift  and  horrible  in  some  portions  of 
Australia.  As  far  as  Tasmania  is  concerned,  the  extermination 
was  complete  :  not  a  native  is  left.  It  was  a  strife  of  years,  and 
decades  of  years.  The  Whites  and  the  Blacks  hunted  each 
other,  ambushed  each  other,  butchered  each  other.  The  Blacks 
were  not  numerous.     But  they  were  wary,  alert,  cunning,  and 

(256) 


F" 


GOVfpOR      OAV£VsJ 
PROCLA  MATIOW 

TO    THt       ABORIGINES' 


\$H  M'lity"-' 


"Why— Massa  Gubernor '  — said  Black  Jack— "You  Proclamation 
all  gammon,  how  blackfellow  read  him  ?— eh .'  He  no  read  him 
book.".   "  Read  that  then,"  said  the  Governor,  ppinting  to  a  picture^ 

GOVERNOR'S   PROCLAMATION. 


THE  GOVERNOR'S  PROCLAMATION.  259 

they  knew  their  country  well.  They  lasted  a  long  time,  few 
as  they  were,  and  inflicted  much  slaughter  upon  the  Whites. 

The  Government  wanted  to  save  the  Blacks  from  ultimate 
extermination,  if  possible.  One  of  its  schemes  was  to  capture 
them  and  coop  them  up,  on  a  neighboring  island,  under  guard. 
Bodies  of  Whites  volunteered  for  the  hunt,  for  the  pay  was 
good  —  £5  for  each  Black  captured  and  delivered,  but  the 
success  achieved  was  not  very  satisfactory.  The  Black  was 
naked,  and  his  body  was  greased.  It  was  hard  to  get  a  grip 
on  him  that  would  hold.  The  Whites  moved  about  in  armed 
bodies,  and  surprised  little  families  of  natives,  and  did  make 
captures;  but  it  was  suspected  that  in  these  surprises  half  a 
dozen  natives  were  killed  to  one  caught  —  and  that  was  not 
what  the  Government  desired. 

Another  scheme  was  to  drive  the  natives  into  a  corner  of 
the  island  and  fence  them  in  by  a  cordon  of  men  placed  in  line 
across  the  country ;  but  the  natives  managed  to  slip  through, 
constantly,  and  continue  their  murders  and  arsons. 

The  governor  warned  these  unlettered  savages  by  printed 
proclamation  that  they  must  stay  in  the  desolate  region 
officially  appointed  for  them  !  The  proclamation  was  a  dead 
letter;  the  savages  could  not  read  it.  Afterward  a  pieture- 
proclamation  was  issued.  It  was  painted  up  on  boards,  and  these 
were  nailed  to  trees  in  the  forest.  Herewith  is  a  photographic 
reproduction  of  this  fashion-plate.      Substantially  it  means  : 

1.  The  Governor  wishes  the  Whites  and  the  Blacks  to  love  each  other; 

2.  He  loves  his  black  subjects  ; 

3.  Blacks  who  kill  Whites  will  be  hanged  ; 

4.  Whites  who  kill  Blacks  will  be  hanged. 

Upon  its  several  schemes  the  Government  spent  £'30,000 
and  employed  the  labors  and  ingenuities  of  several  thousand 
Whites  for  a  longtime  —  with  failure  as  a  result.  Then,  at 
last,  a  quarter  of  a  century  after  the  beginning  of  the  troubles 
between  the  two   races,  the  right   man  was  found.     Xo,  he 


200  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

found  himself.  This  was  George  Augustus  Robinson,  called 
in  history  "  The  Conciliator."  He  was  not  educated,  and  not 
conspicuous  in  any  way.  He  was  a  working  bricklayer,  in 
Hobart  Town.  But  he  must  have  been  an  amazing  personality; 
a  man  worth  traveling  far  to  see.  It  may  be  his  counterpart 
appears  in  history,  but  I  do  not  know  where  to  look  for  it. 

He  set  himself  this  incredible  task :  to  go  out  into  the 
wilderness,  the  jungle,  and  the  mountain-retreats  where  the 
hunted  and  implacable  savages  were  hidden,  and  appear  among 
them  unarmed,  speak  the  language  of  love  and  of  kindness  to 
them,  and  persuade  them  to  forsake  their  homes  and  the  wild 
free  life  that  was  so  dear  to  them,  and  go  with  him  and 
surrender  to  the  hated  "Whites  and  live  under  their  watch  and 
ward,  and  upon  their  charity  the  rest  of  their  lives!  On  its 
face  it  was  the  dream  of  a  madman. 

In  the  beginning,  his  moral-suasion  project  was  sarcasti- 
cally dubbed  the  sugar-plum  speculation.  If  the  scheme  was 
striking,  and  new  to  the  world's  experience,  the  situation  was 
not  less  so.  It  was  this.  The  White  population  numbered 
40,000  in  1831 ;  the  Black  population  numbered  three  hundred. 
Not  300  warriors,  but  300  men,  women,  and  children.  The 
Whites  were  armed  with  guns,  the  Blacks  with  clubs  and 
spears.  The  Whites  had  fought  the  Blacks  for  a  quarter  of  a 
century,  and  had  tried  every  thinkable  way  to  capture,  kill,  or 
subdue  them ;  and  could  not  do  it.  If  white  men  of  any 
race  could  have  done  it,  these  would  have  accomplished  it. 
But  every  scheme  had  failed,  the  splendid  300,  the  matchless 
300  were  unconquered,  and  manifestly  unconquerable.  They 
would  not  yield,  they  would  listen  to  no  terms,  they  would 
fight  to  the  bitter  end.  Yet  they  had  no  poet  to  keep  up  their 
heart,  and  sing  the  marvel  of  their  magnificent  patriotism. 

At  the  end  of  five-and-twenty  years  of  hard  fighting,  the 
surviving  300  naked  patriots  were  still  defiant,  still  persistent, 


ROBINSON     'THE   CONCILIATOR."  261 

still  efficacious  with  their  rude  weapons,  and  the  Governor  and 
the  40,01111  knew  not  which  way  to  turn,  nor  what  to  do. 

Then  the  Bricklayer  —  that  wonderful  man  -  -  proposed  to 
go  out  into  the  wilderness,  with  no  weapon  hut  his  tongue, 
and  no  protection  hut  his  honest  eye  and  his  humane  heart; 
and  track  those  embittered  savages  to  their  lairs  in  the  gloomy 
forests  and  among  the  mountain  snows.  Naturally,  he  was 
considered  a  crank.  But  he  was  not  quite  that.  In  fact,  he 
av;is  a  good  way  short  of  that.  He  was  building  upon  his  long 
and  intimate  knowledge  of  the  native  character.  The  deriders 
of  his  project  were  right  —  from  their  standpoint -- for  they 
believed  the  natives  to  be  mere  wild  beasts ;  and  Robinson  was 
right,  from  his  standpoint  —  for  he  believed  the  natives  to  be 
human  beings.  The  truth  did  reallv  lie  between  the  two. 
The  event  proved  that  Robinson's  judgment  was  soundest; 
but  about  once  a  month  for  four  years  the  event  came  near 
to  giving  the  verdict  to  the  deriders,  for  about  that  frequently 
Robinson  barely  escaped  falling  under  the  native  spears. 

But  history  shows  that  he  had  a  thinking  head,  and  was 
not  a  mere  wild  sentimentalist.  For  instance,  he  wanted  the 
war  parties  call  in  before  he  started  unarmed  upon  his  mission 
of  peace.  He  wanted  the  best  chance  of  success  —  not  a  half- 
chance.  And  he  was  very  willing  to  have  help  ;  and  so,  high 
rewards  were  advertised,  for  any  who  would  go  unarmed  with 
him.  This  opportunity  was  declined.  Robinson  persuaded 
some  tamed  natives  of  both  sexes  to  go  with  him  —  a  strong 
evidence  of  his  persuasive  powers,  for  those  natives  well  knew 
that  their  destruction  would  be  almost  certain.  As  it  turned 
out,  they  had  to  face  death  over  and  over  again. 

Robinson  and  his  little  party  had  a  difficult  undertaking  upon 
their  hands.  They  could  not  ride  off,  horseback,  comfortably 
into  the  woods  and  call  Leonidas  and  his  300  together  for  a 
talk  and  a  treaty  the  following  day:  for  the  wild  men  were 


262  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

not  in  a  body ;  they  were  scattered,  immense  distances  apart, 
over  regions  so  desolate  that  even  the  birds  could  not  make  a 
living  with  the  chances  offered  —  scattered  in  groups  of  twenty, 
a  dozen,  half  a  dozen,  even  in  groups  of  three.  And  the  mis- 
sion must  go  on  foot.  Mr.  Bon  wick  furnishes  a  description  of 
those  horrible  regions,  wherebv  it  will  be  seen  that  even 
fugitive  gang's  of  the  hardiest  and  choicest  human  devils  the 
world  has  seen  —  the  convicts  set  apart  to  people  the  ''Hell  of 
Macquarrie  Harbor  Station1' — were  never  able,  but  once,  to  sur- 
vive the  horrors  of  a  march  through  them,  but  starving  and 
struggling. and  fainting  and  failing, ate  each  other, and  died: 

"  Onward,  still  onward,  was  the  order  of  the  indomitable  Robinson.  No 
one  ignorant  of  the  western  country  of  Tasmania  can  form  a  correct  idea  of  the 
traveling  difficulties.  While  I  was  resident  in  Hobart  Town,  the  Governor, 
Sir  John  Franklin,  and  his  lady,  undertook  the  western  journey  to  Macquarrie 
Harbor,  and  suffered  terribly.  One  man  who  assisted  to  carry  her  ladyship 
through  the  swamps,  gave  me  his  bitter  experience  of  its  miseries.  Several 
were  disabled  for  life.  No  wonder  that  but  one  party,  escaping  from  Mac- 
quarrie Harbor  convict  settlement,  arrived  at  the  civilized  region  in  safety. 
Men  perished  in  the  scrub,  were  lost  in  snow,  or  were  devoured  by  their  com 
panions.  This  was  the  territory  traversed  by  Mr.  Robinson  and  his  Black 
guides.  All  honor  to  his  intrepidity,  and  their  wonderful  fidelity  !  When 
they  had,  in  the  depth  of  winter,  to  cross  deep  and  rapid  rivers,  pass  among 
mountains  six  thousand  feet  high,  pierce  dangerous  thickets,  and  find  food  in 
a  country  forsaken  even  by  birds,  we  can  realize  their  hardships. 

"  After  a  frightful  journey  by  Cradle  Mountain,  and  over  the  lofty  plateau 
of  Middlesex  Plains,  the  travelers  experienced  unwonted  misery,  and  the 
circumstances  called  forth  the  best  qualities  of  the  nob'e  little  band.  Mr. 
Robinson  wrote  afterwards  to  Mr.  Secretary  Burnett  some  details  of  this  pas- 
sage of  horrors.  In  that  letter,  of  Oct  2,  1834,  he  states  that  his  Natives 
were  very  reluctant  to  go  over  the  dreadful  mountain  passes  ;  that  '  for  seven 
successive  days  we  continued  traveling  over  one  solid  body  of  snow  ; '  that 
'  the  snows  were  of  incredible  depth  ; '  that  '  the  Natives  were  frequently  up 
to  their  middle  in  snow.'  But  still  the  ill-clad,  ill-fed,  diseased,  and  wayworn 
men  and  women  were  sustained  by  the  cheerful  voice  of  their  unconquerable 
friend,  and  responded  most  nobly  to  his  call." 

Mr.  Bonwick  says  that  Robinson's  friendly  capture  of  the 
Big  River  tribe  —  remember,  it  was  a  whole  tribe  — "  was  by 
far  the  grandest  feature  of  the  war,  and  the  crowning  glory 
of  his  efforts."      The  word  "  war  "  was  not  well  chosen,  and  is 


A   SERIOUS   MOMENT.  263 

misleading.  There  was  war  still,  but  only  the  Blacks  were 
conducting  it --the  Whites  were  holding  off  until  Robinson 
could  give  his  scheme  a  fair  trial.  I  think  that  we  are  to 
understand  that  the  friendly  capture  of  that  tribe  was  by  far 
the  most  important  thing,  the  highest  in  value,  that  happened 
during  the  whole  thirty  years  of  truceless  hostilities ;  that  it 
was  a  decisive  thing,  a  peaceful  Waterloo,  the  surrender  of  the 
native  Napoleon  and  his  dreaded  forces,  the  happy  ending  of 
the  long  strife.  For  "  that  tribe  was  the  terror  of  the  colony," 
its  chief  "  the  Black  Douglas  of  Bush  households." 

Robinson  knew  that  these  formidable  people  were  lurking 
somewhere,  in  some  remote  corner  of  the  hideous  regions  just 
described,  and  he  and  his  unarmed  little  party  started  on  a 
tedious  and  perilous  hunt  for  them.  At  last,  "  there,  under 
the  shadows  of  the  Frenchman's  Cap,  whose  grim  cone  rose 
five  thousand  feet  in  the  uninhabited  westward  interior,"  they 
were  found.  It  was  a  serious  moment.  Robinson  himself 
believed,  for  once,  that  his  mission,  successful  until  now,  was 
to  end  here  in  failure,  and  that  his  own  death-hour  had  struck. 

The  redoubtable  chief  stood  in  menacing  attitude,  with 
his  eighteen-foot  spear  poised ;  his  warriors  stood  massed  at 
his  back,  armed  for  battle,  their  faces  eloquent  with  their  long- 
cherished  loathing  for  white  men.  "  They  rattled  their  spears 
and  shouted  their  war-cry."  Their  women  were  back  of  them, 
laden  with  supplies  of  weapons,  and  keeping  their  150  eager 
dogs  quiet  until  the  chief  should  give  the  signal  to  fall  on. 

"  I  think  we  shall  soon  be  in  the  resurrection,"  whispered  a 
member  of  Robinson's  little  party. 

"  I  think  we  shall,"  answered  Robinson  ;  then  plucked  up 
heart  and  began  his  persuasions  —  in  the  tribe's  own  dialect, 
which  surprised  and  pleased  the  chief.  Presently  there  was 
an  interruption  by  the  chief : 

"  Who  are  you  1 " 


2tU  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"  We  are  gentlemen." 

"  Where  are  your  guns  ? " 

"  We  have  none.1' 

The  warrior  was  astonished. 

"  Where  your  little  guns  %  "  (pistols). 

"  We  have  none." 

A  few  minutes  passed  —  in  by-play  —  suspense  —  discussion 
among  the  tribesmen  —  Robinson's  tamed  squaws  ventured  to 
cross  the  line  and  begin  persuasions  upon  the  wild  squaws. 
Then  the  chief  stepped  back  "  to  confer  with  the  old  women  — 

the  real  arbiters  of  savage  war."     Mr.  Bon  wick  continues: 

"  As  the  fallen  gladiator  in  the  arena  looks  for  the  signal  of  life  or  death 
from  the  president  of  the  amphitheatre,  so  waited  our  friends  in  anxious  sus- 
pense while  the  conference  continued.  In  a  few  minutes  before  a  word  was 
uttered,  the  women  of  the  tribe  threw  up  their  arms  three  times.  This  was 
the  inviolable  sign  of  peace  !  Down  fell  the  spears.  Forward,  with  a  heavy 
sigh  of  relief,  and  upward  glance  of  gratitude,  came  the  friends  of  peace. 
The  impulsive  natives  rushed  forth  with  tears  and  cries,  as  each  saw  in  the 
other's  rank  a  loved  one  of  the  past.     .     .     . 

"It  was  a  jubilee  of  joy.  A  festival  followed.  And,  while  tears  flowed 
at  the  recital  of  woe,  a  corrobory  of  pleasant  laughter  closed  the  eventful  day." 

In  four  years,  without  the  spilling  of  a  drop  of  blood, 
Robinson  brought  them  all  in,  willing  captives,  and  delivered 
them  to  the  white  governor,  and  ended  the  war  which  powder 
and  bullets,  and  thousands  of  men  to  use  them,  had  prosecuted 
without  result  since  1804. 

Marsyas  charming  the  wild  beasts  with  his  music  —  that  is 
fable ;  but  the  miracle  wrought  by  Robinson  is  fact.  It  is 
history  —  and  authentic ;  and  surely,  there  is  nothing  greater, 
nothing  more  reverence-compelling  in  the  history  of  any 
country,  ancient  or  modern. 

And  in  memory  of  the  greatest  man  Australasia  ever 
developed  or  ever  will  develop,  there  is  a  stately  monument 
to  George  Augustus  Robinson,  the  Conciliator  in  —  no,  it  is  to 
another  man,  I  forget  his  name. 

However,  Robertson's  own  generation  honored  him,  and  in 
manifesting  it  honored  themselves.      The  Government   gave 


WONDERFUL  PEOPLE.  265 

him  a  money-reward  and  a  thousand  acres  of  land ;  and  the 
people  held  mass-meetings  and  praised  him  and  emphasized 
their  praise  with  a  large  subscription  of  money. 

A  good  dramatic  situation  ;  but  the  curtain  fell  on  another: 

"When  this  desperate  tribe  was  thus  captured,  there  was  much  surprise 
to  And  that  the  £30,000  of  a  little  earlier  day  had  been  spent,  and  the  whole 
population  of  the  colony  placed  under  arms,  in  contention  with  an  opposing 
force  of  sixteen  men  with  wooden  spears!  Yet  such  was  the  fact.  The  cele- 
brated Big  River  tribe,  that  had  been  raised  by  European  fears  to  a  host,  con- 
sisted of  sixteen  men,  nine  women  and  one  child.  With  a  knowledge  of  the 
mischief  done  by  these  few,  their  wonderful  marches  and  their  widespread 
aggressions,  their  enemies  cannot  deny  to  them  the  attributes  of  courage  and 
military  tact.  A  Wallace  might  harass  a  large  army  with  a  small  and 
determined  band  ;  but  the  contending  parties  were  at  least  equal  in  arms  and 
civilization  The  Zulus  who  fought  us  in  Africa,  the  Maories  in  New 
Zealand,  the  Arabs  in  the  Soudan,  were  far  better  provided  with  weapons, 
more  advanced  in  the  science  of  war,  and  considerably  more  numerous,  than 
the  naked  Tasmanians.     Governor  Arthur  rightly  termed  them  a  noble  race.'' 

These  were  indeed  wonderful  people,  the  natives.  They 
ought  not  to  have  been  wasted.  They  should  have  been 
crossed  with  the  Whites.  It  would  have  improved  the  Whites 
and  done  the  Natives  no  harm. 

But  the  Natives  were  wasted,  poor  heroic  wild  creatures. 
They  were  gathered  together  in  little  settlements  on  neigh- 
boring islands,  and  paternally  cared  for  by  the  Government, 
and  instructed  in  religion,  and  deprived  of  tobacco,  because  the 
superintendent  of  the  Sunday-school  was  not  a  smoker,  and  so 
considered  smoking  immoral. 

The  Natives  were  not  used  to  clothes,  and  houses,  and  regular 
hours,  and  church,  and  school,  and  Sunday-school,  and  work,  and 
the  other  misplaced  persecutions  of  civilization,  and  they  pined 
for  their  lost  home  and  their  wild  free  life.  Too  late  they 
repented  that  they  had  traded  that  heaven  for  this  hell.  They 
sat  homesick  on  their  alien  crags,  and  day  by  day  gazed  out 
through  their  tears  over  the  sea  with  unappeasable  longing 
toward  the  hazy  bulk  which  was  the  specter  of  what  had  been 
their  paradise ;  one  by  one  their  hearts  broke  and  they  died. 

In  a  very  few  years  nothing  but  a  scant  remnant  remained 


THE   LAST   OF   HER   RACE. 


THE   BEST    INTENTIONS.  9*. 7 

alive.  A  handful  lingered  along  into  age.  In  1864  the  last 
man  died,  in  1876  the  last  woman  died,  and  the  Spartans  of 
Australasia  were  extinct. 

The  Whites  always  mean  well  when  they  take  human  fish 
out  of  the  ocean  and  try  to  make  them  dry  and  warm  and 
happy  and  comfortable  in  a  chicken  coop;  but  the  kindest- 
hearted  white  man  can  always  be  depended  on  to  prove  himself 
inadequate  when  he  deals  with  savages.  He  cannot  turn  the 
situation  around  and  imagine  how  he  would  like  it  to  have  a 
well-meaning  savage  transfer  him  from  his  house  and  his  church 
and  his  clothes  and  his  books  and  his  choice  food  to  a  hideous 
wilderness  of  sand  and  rocks  and  snow,  and  ice  and  sleet  and 
storm  and  blistering  sun,  with  no  shelter,  no  bed,  no  covering 
for  his  and  his  familv's  naked  bodies,  and  nothing  to  eat  but 
snakes  and  grubs  and  offal.  This  would  be  a  hell  to  him  ;  and 
if  he  had  any  wisdom  he  would  know  that  his  own  civilization 
is  a  hell  to  the  savage  —  but  he  hasn't  any.  and  has  never  had 
any ;  and  for  lack  of  it  he  shut  up  those  poor  natives  in  the 
unimaginable  perdition  of  his  civilization,  committing  his  crime 
with  the  very  best  intentions,  and  saw  those  poor  creatures 
waste  away  under  his  tortures ;  and  gazed  at  it,  vaguely 
troubled  and  sorrowful,  and  Avondered  what  could  be  the  mat- 
ter with  them.  One  is  almost  betrayed  into  respecting  those 
criminals,  they  were  so  sincerely  kind,  and  tender,  and  humane, 
and  well-meaning. 

They  didn't  know  why  those  exiled  savages  faded  away, 
and  they  did  their  honest  best  to  reason  it  out.  And  one  man, 
in  a  like  case  in  Xew  South  Wales,  did  reason  it  out  and  arrive 
at  a  solution : 

"It  is  from  theivrath  of  God,  u'hich  Is  rer> <ahtl 'from  h<<ir<n 
against  all  ungodliness  and  unrighteousness  of  men" 

That  settles  it. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

Let  us  be  thankful  for  the  fools.    But  for  them  the  rest  of  us  could  not  succeed. 

—  PudiVnltead   Wilson '&  New  Calendar. 

THE  aphorism  does  really  seem  true:  "Given  the  Cir- 
cumstances, the  Man  will  appear."  But  the  man 
musn't  appear  ahead  of  time,  or  it  will  spoil  everything. 
In  Robinson's  case  the  Moment  had  been  approaching  for  a 
quarter  of  a  century  —  and  meantime  the  future  Conciliator  was 
tranquilly  laying  bricks  in  Hobart.  AVhen  all  other  means 
had  failed,  the  Moment  had  arrived,  and  the  Bricklayer  put 
down  his  trowel  and  came  forward.  Earlier  he  would  have 
been  jeered  back  to  his  trowel  again.  It  reminds  me  of  a  tale 
that  was  told  me  by  a  Kentuckian  on  the  train  when  we  were 
crossing  Montana,  He  said  the  tale  was  current  in  Louisville 
years  ago.  He  thought  it  had  been  in  print,  but  could  not 
remember.  At  any  rate,  in  substance  it  was  this,  as  nearly  as  I 
can  call  it  back  to  mind. 

A  few  years  before  the  outbreak  of  the  Civil  War  it  began 
to  appear  that  Memphis,  Tennessee,  was  going  to  be  a  great 
tobacco  entrepot  —  the  wise  could  see  the  signs  of  it.  At  that 
time  Memphis  had  a  wharfboat,  of  course.  There  was  a  paved 
sloping  wharf,  for  the  accommodation  of  freight,  but  the 
steamers  landed  on  the  outside  of  the  wharfboat,  and  all  load- 
ing and  unloading  was  done  across  it,  between  steamer  and 
shore.  A  number  of  wharfboat  clerks  were  needed,  and  part 
of  the  time,  every  day,  they  were  very  busy,  and  part  of  the 
time  tediously  idle.     They  were  boiling  over  with  youth  and 

spirits,  and  they  had  to  make  the  intervals  of  idleness  endurable 

(268) 


ED  JACKSON'S  VACATION.  269 

in  some  way  ;  and  as  a  rule,  they  did  it  by  contriving  practical 
jokes  and  playing  them  upon  each  other. 

The  favorite  butt  for  the  jokes  was  Ed  Jackson,  because 
he  played  none  himself,  and  was  easy  game  for  other  people's 
—  for  he  always  believed  whatever  was  told  him. 

One  day  he  told  the  others  his  scheme  for  his  holiday.  He 
was  not  going  fishing  or  hunting  this  time — mo,  he  had 
thought  out  a  better  plan.  Out  of  his  $40  a  month  he  had 
saved  enough  for  his  purpose,  in  an  economical  way,  and  he 
was  going  to  have  a  look  at  Xew  York. 

It  was  a  great  and  surprising  idea.  It  meant  travel  - 
immense  travel  —  in  those  days  it  meant  seeing  the  world  ;  it 
was  the  equivalent  of  a  voyage  around  it  in  ours.  At  first  the 
other  youths  thought  his  mind  was  affected,  but  when  they 
found  that  he  was  in  earnest,  the  next  thing1  to  be  thought  of 
was,  what  sort  of  opportunity  this  venture  might  afford  for  a 
practical  joke. 

The  young  men  studied  over  the  matter,  then  held  a  secret 
consultation  and  made  a  plan.  The  idea  was,  that  one  of  the 
conspirators  should  offer  Ed  a  letter  of  introduction  to  Com- 
modore Vanderbilt,  and  trick  him  into  delivering  it.  It  would 
be  easy  to  do  this.  But  what  would  Ed  do  when  he  got  back 
to  Memphis  I  That  was  a  serious  matter.  He  was  good- 
hearted,  and  had  always  taken  the  jokes  patiently ;  but  they 
had  been  jokes  which  did  not  humiliate  him,  did  not  bring  him 
to  shame ;  whereas,  this  would  be  a  cruel  one  in  that  way,  and 
to  play  it  was  to  meddle  with  fire ;  for  with  all  his  good  nature, 
Ed  was  a  Southerner — and  the  English  of  that  was,  that 
when  he  came  back  he  would  kill  as  many  of  the  conspirators 
as  he  could  before  falling  himself.  However,  the  chances  must 
be  taken --it  wouldn't  do  to  waste  such  a  joke  as  that. 

So  the  letter  was  prepared  with  great  care  and  elaboration. 
It  was  signed  Alfred  Fairchild,  and  was  written  in  an  easv 


270  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

and  friendly  spirit.  It  stated  that  the  bearer  was  the  bosom 
friend  of  the  writer's  son,  and  was  of  good  parts  and  sterling 
character,  and  it  begged  the  Commodore  to  be  kind  to  the 
young  stranger  for  the  writer's  sake.  It  went  on  to  say, "  You 
may  have  forgotten  me,  in  this  long  stretch  of  time,  but  you 
will  easily  call  me  back  out  of  your  boyhood  memories  when  I 
remind  you  of  how  we  robbed  old  Stevenson's  orchard  that 
night ;  and  how,  while  he  was  chasing  down  the  road  after  us, 
we  cut  across  the  field  and  doubled  back  and  sold  his  own 
apples  to  his  own  cook  for  a  hatfull  of  doughnuts ;  and  the 
time  that  we  -  '  and  so  forth  and  so  on,  bringing  in  names  of 
imaginary  comrades,  and  detailing  all  sorts  of  wild  and  absurd 
and.  of  course,  wholly  imaginary  schoolboy  pranks  and  ad- 
ventures, but  putting  them  into  lively  and  telling  shape. 

With  all  gravity  Ed  was  asked  if  he  would  like  to  have 
a  letter  to  Commodore  Yanderbilt,  the  great  millionaire.  It 
was  expected  that  the  question  would  astonish  Ed,  and  it  did. 

"  What  %     Do  you  know  that  extraordinary  man  % '; 

"No ;  but  my  father  does.  They  were  schoolboys  together. 
And  if  you  like,  I'll  write  and  ask  father.  I  know  he'll  be 
glad  to  give  it  to  you  for  my  sake." 

Ed  could  not  find  words  capable  of  expressing  his  grati- 
tude and  delight.  The  three  days  passed,  and  the  letter  was 
put  into  his  hands.  He  started  on  his  trip,  still  pouring  out  his 
thanks  while  he  shook  good-bye  all  around.  And  when  he 
was  out  of  sight  his  comrades  let  fly  their  laughter  in  a  storm 
of  happy  satisfaction  —  and  then  quieted  down,  and  were  less 
happy,  less  satisfied.  For  the  old  doubts  as  to  the  wisdom  of 
this  deception  began  to  intrude  again. 

Arrived  in  New  York,  Ed  found  his  way  to  Commodore 
Yanderbilt's  business  quarters,  and  was  ushered  into  a  large 
anteroom,  where  a  score  of  people  were  patiently  awaiting 
their  turn  for  a  two-minute  interview  with  the  millionaire  in 


HOW   THE   JOKE   WORKED.  271 

his  private  office.  A  servant  asked  for  Ed's  card,  and  got  the 
letter  instead.  Ed  was  sent  for  a  moment  later,  and  found 
Mr.  Vanderbilt  alone,  with  the  letter  —  open  —  in  his  hand. 

"  Pray  sit  down,  Mr.  —  er  —  " 

"  Jackson." 

"Ah  —  sit  down,  Mr.  Jackson.  By  the  opening  sentences 
it  seems  to  be  a  letter  from  an  old  friend.  Allow  me  —  I  will 
run  mv  eve  through  it.  He  savs  —  he  savs-- why,  who  is 
it '."  He  turned  the  sheet  and  found  the  signature.  "Alfred 
Fairchild -- hm -- Fairchild-- I  don't  recall  the  name.  But 
that  is  nothing: — i  thousand  names  have  gone  from  me.  He  savs 
—  he  savs  —  hm  —  hm  —  oh,  dear,  but  it's  good  !  Oh,  it's  rare! 
I  don't  quite  remember  it,  but  I  seem  to  —  it'll  all  come  back  to 
me  presently.  He  says  —  he  sa  vs  —  hm  —  hm  —  oh,  but  that  was 
a  game !  Oh,  spl-endid  !  How  it  carries  me  back  !  It's  all 
dim,  of  course  —  it's  a  long  time  ago  —  and  the  names  —  some 
of  the  names  are  wavery  and  indistinct — but  sho',  I  know  it 
happened  -- 1  can  feel  it!  and  lord,  how  it  warms  my  heart, 
and  brings  back  mv  lost  youth  !  Well,  well,  well,  I've  got  to 
come  back  into  this  work-a-day  world  now -- business  presses 
and  people  are  waiting — I'll  keep  the  rest  for  bed  to-night, 
and  live  my  youth  over  again.  And  you'll  thank  Fairchild  for 
me  when  you  see  him  —  I  used  to  call  him  Alf,  I  think  —  and 
you'll  give  him  my  gratitude  for  what  this  letter  has  done  for 
the  tired  spirit  of  a  hard-worked  man ;  and  tell  him  there 
isn't  anvthing  that  I  can  do  for  him  or  any  friend  of  his  that 
I  won't  do.  And  as  for  you,  my  lad,  you  are  my  guest ;  you 
can't  stop  at  any  hotel  in  New  York.  Sit  where  you  are  a 
little  while,  till  I  get  through  with  these  people,  then  we'll  go 
home.  I'll  take  care  of  you,  my  boy —  make  yourself  easy  as 
to  that." 

Ed  stayed  a  week,  and  had  an  immense  time  —  and  never 
suspected  that  the  Commodore's  shrewd  eye  was  on  him.  and 


272  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

that  he  was  daily  being  weighed  and  measured  and  anal\Tzed 
and  tried  and  tested. 

Yes,  he  had  an  immense  time ;  and  never  wrote  home,  but 
saved  it  all  up  to  tell  when  he  should  get  back.  Twice,  with 
proper  modesty  and  decency,  he  proposed  to  end  his  visit,  but 
the  Commodore  said,  "  No  —  wait ;  leave  it  to  me ;  I'll  tell 
jou  when  to  go." 

In  those  days  the  Commodore  was  making1  some  of  those 
vast  combinations  of  his  —  consolidations  of  warring-  odds  and 
ends  of  railroads  into  harmonious  systems,  and  concentrations 
of  floating  and  rudderless  commerce  in  effective  centers  —  and 
among  other  things  his  far-seeing  eye  had  detected  the  con- 
vergence of  that  huge  tobacco-commerce,  already  spoken  of, 
toward  Memphis,  and  he  had  resolved  to  set  his  grasp  upon  it 
and  make  it  his  own. 

The  week  came  to  an  end.     Then  the  Commodore  said  : 

"Now  you  can  start  home.  But  first  we  will  have  some 
more  talk  about  that  tobacco  matter.  I  know  you  now.  I 
know  vour  abilities  as  well  as  you  know  them  vourself  —  per- 
haps  better.  You  understand  that  tobacco  matter ;  you  un- 
derstand that  I  am  going  to  take  possession  of  it,  and  you  also 
understand  the  plans  which  I  have  matured  for  doing  it. 
What  I  want  is  a  man  who  knows  my  mind,  and  is  qualified 
to  represent  me  in  Memphis,  and  be  in  supreme  command  of 
that  important  business  —  and  1  appoint  you." 

"  Me ! " 

"  Yes.  Your  salary  will  be  high  —  of  course  —  for  you  are 
representing  me.  Later  you  will  earn  increases  of  it,  and 
will  get  them.  You  will  need  a  small  army  of  assistants ; 
choose  them  yourself  —  and  carefully.  Take  no  man  for 
friendship's  sake ;  but.  all  things  being  equal,  take  the  man 
you  know,  take  your  friend,  in  preference  to  the  stranger." 
After  some  further  talk  under  this  head,  the  Commodore  said  : 


THE   DAY   OF  RECKONING.  273 

"  Good-bye,  my  boy,  and  thank  Alf  for  me,  for  sending  you 
to  me." 

When  Ed  reached  Memphis  he  rushed  down  to  the  wharf 
in  a  fever  to  tell  his  great  news  and  thank  the  boys  over  and 
over  again  for  thinking  to  give  him  the  letter  to  Mr.  Yander- 
bilt.  It  happened  to  be  one  of  those  idle  times.  Blazing  hot 
noonday,  and  no  sign  of  life  on  the  wharf.  But  as  Ed 
threaded  his  way  among  the  freight  piles,  he  saw  a  white  linen 
figure  stretched  in  slumber  upon  a  pile  of  grain-sacks  under  an 
awning,  and  said  to  himself,  "  That's  one  of  them,"  and  has- 
tened his  step;  next,  he  said,  ''It's  Charley  —  it's  Fairchild  - 
good  "  ;  and  the  next  moment  laid  an  affectionate  hand  on  the 
sleeper's  shoulder.  The  eyes  opened  lazily,  took  one  glance, 
the  face  blanched,  the  form  whirled  itself  from  the  sack-pile, 
and  in  an  instant  Ed  was  alone  and  Fairchild  was  flying  for 
the  wharfboat  like  the  wind  ! 

Ed  was  dazed,  stupefied.  Was  Fairchild  crazy?  What 
could  be  the  meaning  of  this  ?  He  started  slow  and  dreamily 
down  toward  the  wharfboat ;  turned  the  corner  of  a  freight- 
pile  and  came  suddenly  upon  two  of  the  boys.  They  were 
lightly  laughing  over  some  pleasant  matter ;  they  heard  his 
step,  and  glanced  up  just  as  he  discovered  them  ;  the  laugh 
died  abruptly ;  and  before  Ed  could  speak  they  were  off,  and 
sailing  over  barrels  and  bales  like  hunted  deer.  Again  Ed  was 
paralyzed.  Had  the  boys  all  gone  mad  \  What  could  be  the 
explanation  of  this  extraordinary  conduct  {  And  so,  dream- 
ing along,  he  reached  the  wharfboat,  and  stepped  aboard  — 
nothing  but  silence  there,  and  vacancy.  He  crossed  the  deck, 
turned  the  corner  to  go  down  the  outer  guard,  heard  a  fervent  — 

"  O  lord ! "  and  saw  a  white  linen  form  plunge  overboard. 

The  youth  came  up  coughing  and  strangling,  and  cried  out  — 

"  Go  'way  from  here !     You  let  me  alone.     /  didn't  do  it,  I 
swear  T  didn't ! " 
18 


274 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


"Didn't  do  what?" 
"  Give  you  the  —  " 

"Never  mind  what  you  didn't  do  —  come  out  of  that! 
What  makes  you  all  act 
so  ?  What  have  /done?" 
"  Y  on!  W  h  }T  y  o  u 
haven't  done  anything. 
But  —  " 

"  Well,  then,  what  have 
you  got  against  me? 
What  do  you  all  treat  me 
so  for  ? " 

"I  —  er  —  but  haven't 
you  got  anything  against 

"  Of  course  not.    What 


go  'way  from  here  : 


put  such  a  thing  into  your  head?" 
lk  Honor  bright  —  you  haven't  I  " 


Honor  bright." 


A    TACK   IN   THE   CHAIR   SEAT.  275 

"  Swear  it !  " 

"  I  don't  know  what  in  the  world  you  mean,  but  I  swear  it, 
anyway." 

"  And  you'll  shake  hands  with  me  \  " 

"  Goodness  knows  I'll  be  glad  to  !  Why,  I'm  just  starving 
to  shake  hands  with  somebody!" 

The  swimmer  muttered,  "  Hang  him,  he  smelt  a  rat  and 
never  delivered  the  letter !-- but  it's  all  right,  I'm  not  going 
to  fetch  up  the  subject.'"  And  he  crawled  out  and  came  drip- 
ping and  draining  to  shake  hands.  First  one  and  then  another 
of  the  conspirators  showed  up  cautiously  --armed  to  the  teeth 
-took  in  the  amicable  situation,  then  ventured  warily  for- 
ward and  joined  the  love-feast. 

And  to  Ed's  eager  inquiry  as  to  what  made  them  act  as 
they  had  been  acting,  they  answered  evasively,  and  pretended 
that  they  had  put  it  up  as  a  joke,  to  see  what  he  would  do.  It 
was  the  best  explanation  they  could  invent  at  such  short  notice. 
And  each  said  to  himself,  "  He  never  delivered  that  letter,  and 
the  joke  is  on  us,  if  he  only  knew  it  or  we  were  dull  enough  to 
come  out  and  tell." 

Then,  of  course,  they  wanted  to  know  all  about  the  trip ; 
and  he  said  - 

"  Come  right  up  on  the  boiler  deck  and  order  the  drinks - 
it's  my  treat.    I'm  going  to  tell  you  all  about  it.    And  to-night 
it's  my  treat  again  --  and  we'll  have  oysters  and  a  time ! '' 

When  the  drinks  were  brought  and  cigars  lighted,  Ed  said  — 

"  Well,  when  I  delivered  the  letter  to  Mr.  Vanderbilt  — 

'•  Great  Scott !  " 

"  Gracious,  how  you  scared  me.     What's  the  matter  ? ': 

"Oh  —  er  —  nothing:.  Nothing — it  was  a  tack  in  the 
chair-seat,1'  said  one. 

"But  you  all  said  it.  However,  no  matter.  When  I  deliv- 
ered the  letter  —  " 


i>7H  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

"  Did  you  deliver  it  '."  And  they  looked  at  each  other  ;is 
peoj)le  might  who  thought  that  maybe  they  were  dreaming. 

Then  they  settled  to  listening  ;  and  as  the  story  deepened 
and  its  marvels  grew,  the  amazement  of  it  made  them  dumb, 
and  the  interest  of  it  took  their  breath.  They  hardly  uttered 
a  whisper  during  two  hours,  but  sat  like  petrifactions  and 
drank  in  the  immortal  romance.  At  last  the  tale  was  ended, 
and  Ed  said  - 

"And  it's  all  owing  to  i/m/,  hoys,  and  you'll  never  find  rru 
ungrateful  —  bless  your  hearts,  the  best  friends  a  fellow  ever 
had  !  You'll  all  have  places ;  I  want  every  one  of  you.  I 
know  you  —  I  knowT  you  '  by  the  hack,'  as  the  gamblers  say. 
You're  jokers,  and  all  that,  but  you're  sterling,  with  the  hall- 
mark on.  And  Charley  Fairchild,  you  shall  be  my  first  assist- 
ant and  right  hand,  because  of  vour  first-class  abilitv.  and  be- 
cause  you  got  me  the  letter,  and  for  your  father's  sake  who 
wrote  it  for  me,  and  to  please  Mr.  Yanderbilt,  who  said  it 
would !     And  here's  to  that  great  man    -  drink  hearty  !  " 

Yes,  when  the  Moment  comes,  the  Man  appears  —  even  if 
he  is  a  thousand  miles  away,  and  has  to  be  discovered  by  a 
practical  joke. 


RELICS  OF  CONVICT  DISCIPLINE. 


CHAPTER    XXIX. 

When  people  do  not  respect  us  we  are  sharply  offended;  yet  deep  down  in  his 
private  heart  no  man  much  respects  himself. — Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

JECESSARILY,  the  human  interest  is  the  lirst  interest 
in  the  log-book  of  any  country.  The  annals  of  Tas- 
mania, in  whose  shadow  we  were  sailing-,  are  lurid 
with  that  feature.  Tasmania  was  a  convict-dump,  in  old 
times;  this  has  been  indicated  in  the  account  of  the  Concil- 
iator, where  reference  is  made  to  vain  attempts  of  desperate 
convicts  to  win  to  permanent  freedom,  after  escaping  from 
Macquarrie  Harbor  and  the  "Gates  of  Hell."  In  the  early 
davs  Tasmania  had  a,  great  population  of  convicts,  of  both 
sexes  and  all  ages,  and  a  bitter  hard  life  they  had.  In  one  spot 
there  was  a  settlement  of  juvenile  convicts  -children-- who 
had  been  sent  thither  from  their  home  and  their  friends  on 
the  other  side  of  the  globe  to  expiate  their  "crimes." 

In  due  course  our  ship  entered  the  estuary  called  the  Der- 
went,  at  whose  head  stands  Hobart,  the  capital  of  Tasmania. 
The  Derwent's  shores  furnish  scenery  of  an  interesting  sort. 
The  historian  Laurie,  whose  book,  "The  Story  of  Australasia," 
is  just  out,  invoices  its  features  with  considerable  truth  and  in- 
temperance :  "  The  marvelous  picturesqueness  of  every  point 
of  view,  combined  with  the  clear  balmy  atmosphere  and  the 
transparency  of  the  ocean  depths,  must  have  delighted  and 
deeply  impressed  "  the  early  explorers.  "If  the  rock-bound 
coasts,  sullen,  defiant,  and  lowering,  seemed  uninviting, 
these  were  occasionally  broken  into  charmingly  alluring  coves 
floored  with  golden  sand,  clad  with  evergreen  shrubbery,  and 

(279) 


280  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

adorned  with  every  variety  of  indigenous  wattle,  she-oak,  wild 
flower,  and  fern,  from  the  delicately  graceful  'maiden-hair1  to 
the  palm-like  'old  man';  while  the  majestic  gum-tree,  clean 
and  smooth  as  the  mast  of  'some  tall  ammiral'  pierces  the 
clear  air  to  the  height  of  230  feet  or  more." 

It  looked  so  to  me.  "  Coasting  along  Tasman's  Peninsula, 
what  a  shock  of  pleasant  wonder  must  have  struck  the  early 
mariner  on  suddenly  sighting  Cape  Pillar,  with  its  cluster  of 
black-ribbed  basaltic  columns  rising  to  a  height  of  900  feet,  the 
hydra  head  wreathed  in  a  turban  of  fleecy  cloud,  the  base 
lashed  by  jealous  waves  spouting  angry  fountains  of  foam." 

That  is  well  enough,  but  1  did  not  suppose  those  snags 
were  900  feet  high.  Still  they  were  a  very  fine  show.  Thev 
stood  boldly  out  by  themselves,  and  made  a  fascinatingly  odd 
spectacle.  But  there  was  nothing  about  their  appearance  to 
sug-o-est  the  heads  of  a  hydra.  Thev  looked  like  a  row  of  loftv 
slabs  with  their  upper  ends  tapered  to  the  shape  of  a  carving- 
knife  point ;  in  fact,  the  early  voyager,  ignorant  of  their  great 
height,  might  have  mistaken  them  for  a  rusty  old  rank  of  piles 
that  had  sagged  this  way  and  that  out  of  the  perpendicular. 

The  Peninsula  is  lofty,  rocky,  and  densely  clothed  with 
scrub,  or  brush,  or  both.  It  is  joined  to  the  main  by  a  low 
neck.  At  this  junction  was  formerly  a  convict  station  called 
Port  Arthur  —  a  place  hard  to  escape  from.  Behind  it  was 
the  wilderness  of  scrub,  in  which  a  fugitive  would  soon  starve; 
in  front  was  the  narrow  neck,  with  a  cordon  of  chained  dogs 
across  it,  and  a  line  of  lanterns,  and  a  fence  of  living  guards, 
armed.  We  saw  the  place  as  we  swept  by  --  that  is,  we  had  a 
glimpse  of  what  we  were  told  was  the  entrance  to  Port 
Arthur.  The  glimpse  was  worth  something,  as  a  remem- 
brancer, but  that  was  all. 

"  The  voyage  thence  up  the  Derwent  Frith  displays  a 
grand  succession  of  fairy  visions,  in  its  entire  length  elsewhere 


TOWN    OF   HOBART.  281 

unequaled.  In  gliding  over  the  deep  blue  sea  studded  with 
lovely  islets  luxuriant  to  the  water's  edge,  one  is  at  a  loss 
which  scene  to  choose  for  contemplation  and  to  admire  most. 
When  the  Huon  and  Bruni  have  been  passed,  there  seems  no 
possible  chance  of  a  rival  ;  hut  suddenly  Mount  Wellington, 
massive  and  noble  like  his  brother  Etna,  literally  heaves  in  sight, 
sternly  guarded  on  either  hand  by  Mounts  Nelson  and  Rumney; 
presently  we  arrive  at  Sullivan's  Cove  —  Hbbart!" 

It  is  an  attractive  town.  It  sits  on  low  hills  that  slope  to 
the  harbor — a  harbor  that  looks  like  a  river,  and  is  as  smooth 
as  one.  Its  still  surface  is  pictured  with  dainty  reflections  of 
boats  and  grassy  banks  and  luxuriant  foliage.  Back  of  the 
town  rise  highlands  that  are  clothed  in  woodland  loveliness, 
and  over  the  way  is  that  noble  mountain,  Wellington,  a 
stately  bul'c,  a  most  majestic  pile.  How  beautiful  is  the  whole 
region,  for  form,  and  grouping,  and  opulence,  and  freshness  of 
foliage,  and  variety  of  color,  and  grace  and  shapeliness  of  the 
hills,  the  capes,  the  promontories;  and  then,  the  splendor  of 
the  sunlight,  the  dim  rich  distances,  the  charm  of  the  water- 
glimpses!  And  it  was  in  this  paradise  that  the  yellow-liveried 
convicts  were  landed,  and  the  Corps-bandits  quartered,  and  the 
wanton  slaughter  of  the  kangaroo-chasing  black  innocents  con- 
summated on  that  autumn  day  in  May,  in  the  brutish  old 
time.  It  was  all  out  of  keeping  with  the  place,  a  sort  of  bring- 
ing of  heaven  and  hell  together. 

The  remembrance  of  this  paradise  reminds  me  that  it  was 
at  Ilobart  that  we  struck  the  head  of  the  procession  of  Junior 
Englands.  We  were  to  encounter  other  sections  of  it  in  New 
Zealand,  presently,  and  others  later  in  Natal.  AVherever  the 
exiled  Englishman  can  find  in  his  new  home  resemblances  to  his 
old  one,  he  is  touched  to  the  marrow  of  his  being  ;  the  love  that 
is  in  his  heart  inspires  his  imagination,  and  these  allied  forces 
transfigure  those  resemblances  into  authentic  duplicates  of  the 


282  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

revered  originals.  It  is  beautiful,  the  feeling-  which  works 
this  enchantment,  and  it  compels  one's  homage ;  compels  it, 
and  also  compels  one's  assent  —  compels  it  always  —  even 
when,  as  happens  sometimes,  one  does  not  see  the  resemblances 
as  clearly  as  does  the  exile  who  is  pointing  them  out. 

The  resemblances  do  exist,  it  is  quite  true ;  and  often  they 
cunningly  approximate  the  originals --but  after  all,  in  the 
matter  of  certain  physical  patent  rights  there  is  only  one 
England.  Now  that  I  have  sampled  the  globe,  I  am  not  in 
doubt.  There  is  a  beauty  of  Switzerland,  and  it  is  repeated 
in  the  glaciers  and  snowy  ranges  of  many  parts  of  the  earth  ; 
there  is  a  beauty  of  the  fiord,  and  it  is  repeated  in  New  Zealand 
and  Alaska;  there  is  a  beauty  of  Hawaii,  and  it  is  repeated  in 
ten  thousand  islands  of  the  Southern  seas  ;  there  is  a  beauty  of 
the  prairie  and  the  plain,  and  it  is  repeated  here  and  there  in 
the  earth ;  each  of  these  is  worshipful,  each  is  perfect  in  its 
way,  yet  holds  no  monopoly  of  its  beauty  ;  but  that  beauty 
which  is  England  is  alone  —  it  has  no  duplicate. 

It  is  made  up  of  very  simple  details-  just  grass,  and  trees, 
and  shrubs,  and  roads,  and  hedges,  and  gardens,  and  houses, 
and  vines,  and  churches,  and  castles,  and  here  and  there  a  ruin 
—  and  over  it  all  a  mellow  dream-haze  of  history.  But  its 
beauty  is  incomparable,  and  all  its  own. 

Hobart  has  a  peculiarity  -  -  it  is  the  neatest  town  that  the 
sun  shines  on ;  and  I  incline  to  believe  that  it  is  also  the 
cleanest.  However  that  may  be,  its  supremacy  in  neatness  is 
not  to  be  questioned.  There  cannot  be  another  town  in  the 
world  that  has  no  shabby  exteriors;  no  rickety  gates  and 
fences,  no  neglected  houses  crumbling  to  ruin,  no  crazy  and 
unsightly  sheds,  no  weed-grown  front-yards  of  the  poor,  no 
back-yards  littered  with  tin  cans  and  old  boots  and  empty 
bottles,  no  rubbish  in  the  gutters,  no  clutter  on  the  sidewalks, 
no  outer-borders  fraying  out  into  dirty  lanes  and  tin-patched 


CURIOUS   CREATURES.  283 

huts.  No,  in  Hobart  all  the  aspects  are  tidy,  and  all  a  comfort 
to  the  eye ;  the  modestest  cottage  looks  combed  and  brushed, 
and  has  its  vines,  its  dowers,  its  neat  fence,  its  neat  gate,  its 
comely  cat  asleep  on  the  window  ledge. 

We  had  a  glimpse  of  the  museum,  by  courtesy  of  the 
American  gentleman  who  is  curator  of  it.  It  has  samples  of 
half-a-dozen  different  kinds  of  marsupials* -- one,  the  u  Tas- 
manian  devil;"  that  is,  I  think  he  was  one  of  them.  And 
there  was  a  fish  with  lungs.  When  the  water  dries  up  it  can 
live  in  the  mud.  Most  curious  of  all  was  a  parrot  that  kills 
sheep.  On  one  great  sheep-run  this  bird  killed  a  thousand 
sheep  in  a  whole  year.  lie  doesn't  want  the  whole  sheep,  but 
only  the  kidney-fat.  This  restricted  taste  makes  him  an  ex- 
pensive bird  to  support.  To  get  the  fat  he  drives  his  beak  in 
and  rips  it  out ;  the  wound  is  mortal.  This  parrot  furnishes  .a 
notable  example  of  evolution  brought  about  by  changed  con 
ditions.  When  the  sheep  culture  was  introduced,  it  presently 
brought  famine  to  the  parrot  by  exterminating  a  kind  of  grub 
which  had  always  thitherto  been  the  parrot's  diet.  The  miseries 
of  hunger  made  the  bird  willing  to  eat  raw  flesh,  since  it  could 
get  no  other  food,  and  it  began  to  pick  remnants  of  meat  from 
sheep  skins  hung  out  on  the  fences  to  dry.  It  soon  came  to  prefer 
sheep  meat  to  any  other  food,  and  by  and  by  it  came  to  prefer 
the  kidney-fat  to  any  other  detail  of  the  sheep.  The  parrot's  bill 
was  not  well  shaped  for  digging  out  the  fat,  but  Nature  fixed 
that  matter  ;  she  altered  the  bill's  shape,  and  now  the  parrot  can 
dig  out  kidney-fat  better  than  the  Chief  Justice  of  the  Supreme 
Court,  or  anybody  else,  for  that  matter — even  an  Admiral. 

And  there  was  another  curiosity --quite  a  stunning  one,  1 

*  A  marsupial  is  a  plantigrade  vertebrate  whose  specialty  is  its  pocket.  In  some 
countries  it  is  extinct,  in  the  others  it  is  rare.  The  first  American  marsupials  were 
Stephen  Girard,  Mr.  Astor,  aud  the  opossum  ;  the  principal  marsupials  of  the 
Southern  Hemisphere  are  Mr.  Rhodes,  and  the  kangaroo.  I.  myself,  am  the  latest 
marsuipal.  Also,  I  might  boast  that  I  have  the  largest  pocket  of  them  all.  But 
there  is  nothing  in  that. 


284  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

thought:  Arrow-heads  and  knives  just  like  those  which 
Primeval  Man  made  out  of  flint,  and  thought  he  had  done  such 
a  wonderful  thing --yes,  and  has  been  humored  and  coddled 
in  that  superstition  by  this  age  of  admiring  scientists  until 
there  is  probably  no  living  with  him  in  the  other  world  by 
now.  Yet  here  is  his  finest  and  nicest  work  exactly  duplicated 
in  our  day;  and  by  people  who  have  never  heard  of  him  or 
his  works  :  by  aborigines  who  lived  in  the  islands  of  these  seas, 
within  our  time.  And  they  not  only  duplicated  those  works  of 
art  but  did  it  in  the  brittlestand  most  treacherous  of  substances 
-glass:  made  them  out  of  old  brandy  bottles  flung  out  of 
the  British  camps;  millions  of  tons  of  them.  It  is  time  for 
Primeval  Man  to  make  a  little  less  noise,  now.  He  has  had 
his  day.     He  is  not  what  he  used  to  be. 

We  had  a  drive  through  a  bloomy  and  odorous  fairy-land, 
to  the  Refuge  for  the  Indigent  —  a  spacious  and  comfortable 
home,  with  hospitals,  etc.,  for  both  sexes.  There  was  a  crowd 
there,  of  the  oldest  people  I  have  ever  seen.  It  was  like  being 
suddenly  set  down  in  a  new  world  —  a  weird  world  where 
Youth  has  never  been,  a  world  sacred  to  Age,  and  bowed 
forms,  and  wrinkles.  Out  of  the  359  persons  present,  223 
were  ex-convicts,  and  could  have  told  stirring  tales,  no  doubt, 
if  they  had  been  minded  to  talk ;  42  of  the  359  were  past  80, 
and  several  were  close  upon  90  ;  the  average  age  at  death 
there  is  76  years.  As  for  me,  I  have  no  use  for  that  place  ; 
it  is  too  healthy.  Seventy  is  old  enough  — after  that,  there  is 
too  much  risk.  Youth  and  gaiety  might  vanish,  any  day  —  and 
then,  what  is  left  t  Death  in  life ;  death  without  its  privileges, 
death  without  its  benefits.  There  were  185  women  in  that 
Refuge,  and  81  of  them  were  ex-convicts. 

The  steamer  disappointed  us.  Instead  of  making  a  long 
visit  at  Hobart,  as  usual,  she  made  a  short  one.  So  we  got  but 
a  glimpse  of  Tasmania,  and  then  moved  on. 


CHAPTER    XXX. 

Nature  makes  the  locust  with  an  appetite  for  crops  ;  man  would  have  made  him 
with  au  appetite  for  saud. — PudcPtihead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

VE  spent  part  of  an  afternoon  and  a  night  at  sea,  and 
reached  Bluff,  in  Xew  Zealand,  early  in  the  morning. 
Bluff  is  at  the  bottom  of  the  middle  island,  and  is 
away  down  south,  nearly  forty-seven  degrees  below  the  equa- 
tor. It  lies  as  far  south  of  the  line  as  Quebec  lies  north  of  it, 
and  the  climates  of  the  two  should  be  alike ;  but  for  some 
reason  or  other  it  has  not  been  so  arranged.  Quebec  is  hot  in 
the  summer  and  cold  in  the  winter,  but  Bluff's  climate  is  less 
intense ;  the  cold  weather  is  not  very  cold,  the  hot  weather  is 
not  very  hot ;  and  the  difference  between  the  hottest  month 
and  the  coldest  is  but  IT  degrees  Fahrenheit. 

In  New  Zealand  the  rabbit  plague  began  at  Bluff.  The 
man  who  introduced  the  rabbit  there  was  banqueted  and 
lauded ;  but  they  would  hang  him,  now,  if  they  could  get  him. 
In  England  the  natural  enemy  of  the  rabbit  is  detested  and 
persecuted ;  in  the  Bluff  region  the  natural  enemy  of  the 
rabbit  is  honored,  and  his  person  is  sacred.  The  rabbit's 
natural  enemy  in  England  is  the  poacher,  in  Bluff  its  natural 
enemy  is  the  stoat,  the  weasel,  the  ferret,  the  cat,  and  the 
mongoose.  In  England  any  person  below  the  Heir  who  is 
caught  with  a  rabbit  in  his  possession  must  satisfactorily  ex- 
plain how  it  got  there,  or  he  will  suffer  fine  and  imprisonment, 
together  with  extinction  of  his  peerage ;  in  Bluff,  the  cat 
found  with  a  rabbit  in  its  possession  does  not  have  to  explain 
-everybody  looks  the  other  way  ;  the  person  caught  noticing 

( 280 ) 


286 


FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 


would  suffer  line  and  imprisonment,  with  extinction  of  peer- 
age. This  is  a  sure  way  to  undermine  the  moral  fabric  of  a 
cat.  Thirty  years  from  now  there  will  not  be  a  moral  cat  in 
New  Zealand.  Some  think  there  is  none  there  now.  In  Eno-- 
land  the  poacher  is  watched,  tracked,  hunted  —  he  dare  not 
show  his  face;  in  Bluff  the  cat,  the  weasel,  the  stoat,  and  the 
mongoose  go  up  and  down,  whither  they  will,  unmolested. 
By  a  law  of  the  legislature,  posted  where  all  may  read,  it  is 
decreed  that  any  person  found  in  possession  of  one  of  these 
creatures  (dead)  must  satisfactorily  explain  the  circumstances 
or  pay  a  fine  of  not  less  than  £5,  nor  more  than  £20.  The 
revenue  from  this  source  is  not  large.  Persons  who  want  to 
pay  a  hundred  dollars  for  a  dead  cat  are  getting  rarer  and 
rarer  every  day.  This  is  bad,  for  the  revenue  was  to  go  to  the 
endowment  of  a  University.  All  governments  are  more  or 
less  short-sighted  :  in  England  they  fine  the  poacher,  whereas 
he  ought  to  be  banished  to  New  Zealand.  New  Zealand 
would  pay  his  way,  and  give  him  wages. 


LAKE   MANAPOUI5T. 

It  was  from  Bluff  that  we  ought  to  have  cut  across  to  the 
west  coast  and  visited  the  New  Zealand  Switzerland,  a  land  of 
superb  scenery,  made  up  of  snowy  grandeurs,  and  mighty 
glaciers,  and  beautiful  lakes;  and  over  there,  also,  are  the 
wonderful  rivals  of  the  Norwegian  and  Alaskan  fiords ;  and 
for  neighbor,  a  waterfall  of  1,900  feet;  but  we  were  obliged 
to  postpone  the  trip  to  some  later  and  indefinite  time. 

November  6.     A   lovelv    summer    morning;  brilliant    blue 


DUNEDIN,    NEW   ZEALAND. 


287 


sky.  A  few  miles  out  from  Invercargill,  passed  through  vast 
level  green  expanses  snowed  over  with  sheep.  Fine  to  see. 
The  green,  deep  and  very  vivid  sometimes ;  at  other  times  less 
so,  but  delicate  and  lovely.  A  passenger  reminds  me  that  I 
am  in  "  the  England  of  the  Far  South." 

Dun, din,  same  date.  The  town  justifies  Michael  Davitt's 
praises.  The  people  are  Scotch. 
They  stopped  here  on  their  way 
from  home  to  heaven — thinking 
they  had  arrived.  The  population 
is  stated  at  40,000,  by  Malcolm 
Ross,  journalist ;  stated  by  an  M.  P. 
at  60,000.     A  journalist  cannot  lie. 

To  the  residence  of  Dr.  Ilockin. 
He  has  a  fine  collection  of  books 
relating  to  New  Zealand ;  and  his 
house  is  a  museum  of  Maori  art 
and  antiquities.  lie  has  pictures 
and  prints  in  color  of  many  native 
chiefs  of  the  past  —  some  of  them 
of  note  in  history.  There  is  noth- 
ing of  the  savage  in  the  faces ; 
nothing  could  be  finer  than  these 
men's  features,  nothing  more  intel- 
lectual than  these  faces,  nothing 
more  masculine,  nothing  nobler 
than  their  aspect.  The  aborigi- 
nals  of  Australia    and    Tasmania 


**#. 


^ 


r*vi 


K, 


s,    ■* 


*4 


■ 

'0 


■  i 


mm 


Monument  to  a  Maori  robber  who 
went  about  on  stilts  ;  thus  avoiding  de- 
tection for  a  long  time.  So  great  was 
the  public  admiration  of  his  shrewdness 
that  this  monument  was  erected.  It  is 
supposed  to  be  a    portrait  of  the  man 

looked  the  savage,  but  these  chiefs  aml  °*e  *tilts 
looked  like  Roman  patricians.  The  tattooing  in  these  portraits 
ought  to  suggest  the  savage,  of  course,  but  it  does  not.  The 
designs  are  so  flowing  and  graceful  and  beautiful  that  they  are 
a  most  satisfactory  decoration.  It  takes  but  fifteen  minutes 
to  get  reconciled  to   the  tattooing,  and    but  fifteen    more  to 


288  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

perceive  that  it  is  just  the  thing.     After  that,  the  undecorated 
European  face  is  unpleasant  and  ignoble. 

Dr.  Hockin  gave  us  a  ghastly  curiosity  —  a  lignified  cater- 
pillar with  a  plant  growing  out  of  the  back  of  its  neck  —  a 
plant  with  a  slender  stem  4  inches  high.  It  happened  not  by 
accident,  but  by  design -- Nature's  design.  This  caterpillar 
was  in  the  act  of  loyally  carrying  out  a  law  inflicted  upon 
him  by  Nature  —  a  law  purposely  inflicted  upon  him  to  get 
him  into  trouble  —  a  law  which  was  a  trap;  in  pursuance  of 
this  law  he  made  the  proper  preparations  for  turning  himself 
into  a  night-moth;  that  is  to  say,  he  dug  a  little  trench, a  little 
grave,  and  then  stretched  himself  out  in  it  on  his  stomach  and 
partially  buried  himself-- then  Nature  was  ready  for  him. 
She  blew  the  spores  of  a  peculiar  fungus  through  the  air- 
with  a  purpose.  Some  of  them  fell  into  a  crease  in  the  back 
of  the  caterpillars  neck,  and  began  to  sprout  and  grow  —  for 
there  was  soil  there  —  he  had  not  washed  his  neck.  The 
roots  forced  themselves  down  into  the  worm's  person,  and 
rearward  along  through  its  body,  sucking  up  the  creature's 
juices  for  sap;  the  worm  slowly  died,  and  turned  to  wood. 
And  here  he  was  now,  a  wooden  caterpillar,  with  every  detail 
of  his  former  physique  delicately  and  exactly  preserved  and 
perpetuated,  and  with  that  stem  standing  up  out  of  him  for 
his  monument  —  monument  commemorative  of  his  own  loyalty 
and  of  Nature's  unfair  return  for  it. 

Nature  is  always  acting  like  that.  Mrs.  X.  said  (of 
course)  that  the  caterpillar  was  not  conscious  and  didn't 
suffer.  She  should  have  known  better.  No  caterpillar  can 
deceive  Nature.  If  this  one  couldn't  suffer,  Nature  would 
have  known  it  and  would  have  hunted  up  another  caterpillar. 
Not  that  she  would  have  let  this  one  go,  merely  because  it 
was  defective.  No.  She  would  have  waited  and  let  him  turn 
into  a  night-moth  ;  and  then  fried  him  in  the  candle. 

Nature  cakes  a  fish's  eyes  over  with  parasites,  so  that  it 


NATURE   AND   PARASITES.  2M» 

shan't  be  able  to  avoid  its  enemies  or  find  its  food.  She  sends 
parasites  into  a  star-fish's  system,  which  clog  up  its  prongs 
and  swell  them  and  make  them  so  uncomfortable  that  the 
poor  creature  delivers  itself  from  the  prong  to  ease  its  misery  ; 
and  presently  it  has  to  part  with  another  prong  for  the  sake 
of  comfort,  and  finally  with  a  third.  If  it  re-grows  the 
prongs,  the  parasite  returns  and  the  same  thing  is  repeated. 
And  finally,  when  the  ability  to  reproduce  prongs  is  lost 
through  age,  that  poor  old  star-fish  can't  get  around  any  more, 
and  so  it  dies  of  starvation. 

In  Australia  is  prevalent  a  horrible  disease  due  to  an 
"  unperfected  tape-worm."  Unperfected  —  that  is  what  they 
call  it.  I  do  not  know  why,  for  it  transacts  business  just  as 
well  as  if  it  were  finished  and  frescoed  and  gilded,  and  all  that. 

November  9.  To  the  museum  and  public  picture  gallery 
with  the  president  of  the  Society  of  Artists.  Some  fine  pictures 
there,  lent  by  the  S.  of  A.  —  several  of  them  thev  bought,  the 
others  came  to  them  by  gift.  Next,  to  the  gallery  of  the 
S.  of  A. — annual  exhibition  —  just  opened.  Fine.  Think  of 
a  town  like  this  having  two  such  collections  as  this,  and  a 
Society  of  Artists.  It  is  so  all  over  Australasia.  If  it  were  a 
monarchy  one  might  understand  it.  I  mean  an  absolute 
monarch v,  where  it  isn't  necessarv  to  vote  monev,  but  take  it. 
Then  art  flourishes.  But  these  colonies  are  republics  —  repub- 
lics with  a  wide  suffrage ;  voters  of  both  sexes,  this  one  of 
Xew  Zealand.  In  republics,  neither  the  government  nor  the 
rich  private  citizen  is  much  given  to  propagating  art.  All 
over  Australasia  pictures  by  famous  European  artists  are 
bought  for  the  public  galleries  by  the  State  and  by  societies  of 
citizens.  Living  citizens  —  not  dead  ones.  They  rob  them- 
selves to  give,  not  their  heirs.  This  S.  of  A.  here  owns  its 
buildings  —  built  it  by  subscription. 
19 


CHAPTER   XXXI. 

The  spirit  (if  wrath — not  the  words  —  is  the  si ti  ;  and  the  spirit  of  wrath  is 
cursing.     We  begin  to  swear  before  we  can  talk. 

—  PudoVnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

NOVEMBER  11.  On  the  road.  This  train— express— 
goes  twenty  and  one-half  miles  an  hour,  schedule 
time;  but  it  is  fast  enough,  the  outlook  upon  sea  and 
land  is  so  interesting,  and  the  cars  so  comfortable.  They 
are  not  English,  and  not  American  ;  they  are  the  Swiss  com- 
bination of  the  two.  A  narrow  and  railed  porch  along  the 
side,  where  a  person  can  walk  up  and  down.  A  lavatory  in 
each  car.  This  is  progress ;  this  is  nineteenth-century  spirit. 
In  New  Zealand,  these  fast  expresses  run  twice  a  week.  It  is 
well  to  know  this  if  you  want  to  be  a  bird  and  flv  through  the 
country  at  a  20-mile  gait ;  otherwise  you  may  start  on  one  of 
the  live  wrong  days,  and  then  you  will  <>-et  a  train  that  can't 
overtake  its  own  shadow. 

By  contrast,  these  pleasant  cars  call  to  mind  the  branch- 
road  cars  at  Maryborough,  Australia,  and  the  passengers'  talk 
about  the  branch-road  and  the  hotel. 

Somewhere  on  the  road  to  Maryborough  I  changed  for  a 

while  to  a  smoking-carriage.     There  were  two  gentlemen  there ; 

both  riding  backward,  one  at  each  end  of  the   compartment. 

They  were  acquaintances  of  each  other.     I  sat  down  facing  the 

one  that  sat  at  the  starboard  window.     He  had  a  good  face, 

and  a  friendly  look,  and  I  judged  from  his  dress  that  he  was  a 

dissenting  minister.     He  was  along  toward  fifty.      Of  his  own 

motion  he  struck  a  match,  and  shaded  it  with  his  hand  for  me 

to  light  my  cigar.     I  take  the  rest  from  my  diary  : 

(290) 


THE   HOTEL   AT   MARYBOROUGH.  291 

In  order  to  start  conversation  I  asked  him  something  about 
Maryborough.      lie  said,  in  a  most  pleasant--  even  musical  - 
voice,  Imt  with  quiet  and  cultured  decision  : 

"  It's  a  charming  town,  with  a  hell  of  a  hotel." 

I  was  astonished.  It  seemed  so  odd  to  hear  a  minister 
swear  out  loud.     He  went  placidly  on: 

''It's  the  worst  hotel  in  Australia.  Well,  one  may  go 
further,  and  say  in  Australasia." 

"Bad  beds?" 

"  No  —  none  at  all.     Just  sand-hags." 

'•  The  pillows,  too?" 

"  Yes,  the  pillows,  too.  Just  sand.  And  not  a  good  quality 
of  sand.  It  packs  too  hard,  and  has  never  been  screened. 
There  is  too  much  gravel  in  it.      It  is  like  sleeping  on  nuts." 

"  Isn't  there  any  good  sand  \  " 

"  Plenty  of  it.  There  is  as  good  bed-sand  in  this  region  as 
the  world  can  furnish.  Aerated  sand --and  loose;  but  they 
won't  buy  it.  They  want  something  that  will  pack  solid, 
and  petrify." 

"  How  are  the  rooms  ?" 

"  Eight  feet  square ;  and  a  sheet  of  iced  oil-cloth  to  step 
on  in  the  morning  when  you  get  out  of  the  sand-quarry." 

"  As  to  lights  \ " 

"  Coal-oil  lamp." 

"  A  good  one  \ " 

"  Xo.     It's  the  kind  that  sheds  a  gloom." 

"  I  like  a  lamp  that  burns  all  night." 

"This  one  won't.     You  must  blow  it  out  early." 

"That  is  bad.  One  might  want  it  again  in  the  night. 
Can't  find  it  in  the  dark." 

"  There's  no  trouble;  you  can  find  it  by  the  stench." 

"Wardrobe?" 


292 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


"  Two  nails  on  the  door  to  hang  seven  suits  of  clothes  on  — 
if  you've  got  them." 

"  Bells?" 

"  There  aren't  any." 

"  What  do  you  do  when  you  want  service  \ " 

"  Shout.     But  it  won't  fetch  anybody." 

"  Suppose  you  want  the  chambermaid  to  empty  the  slop- 
jar  i 

"  There  isn't  any  slop-jar.  The  hotels  don't  keep  them. 
That  is,  outside  of  Sydney  and  Melbourne." 

"  Yes,  I  knew  that.  I  was  only  talking.  It's  the  oddest 
thing  in  Australia.     Another  thing :     I've  got  to  get  up  in  the 

dark,  in  the  morning,  to  take 


the  5  o'clock  train. 

if  the  boots  - 

"  There  isn't  any." 
"  Well,  the  porter." 
"  There  isn't  any." 
"  But     who     will 


Non- 


call 


me 


2» 


A    THEOLOGICAL   STUDENT. 


"  Nobodv 


However,  I  will  tell  vou  what  to  do. 


"Nobody.  You'll  call 
yourself.  And  you'll  light 
yourself,  too.  There'll  not 
be  a  light  burning 
in  the  halls  or  any- 
where. And  if  you 
don't  carry  a  light, 
you'll  break  your 
neck." 

l-  But  who  will 
help  me  down  with 
my  baggage  ? " 

In  Mary- 


GOVERNMENT   RAILWAYS.  293 

borough  there's  an  American  who  has  lived  there  half  a  life- 
time; a  fine  man,  and  prosperous  and  popular.  He  will  be  on 
the  lookout  for  you;  yon  won't  have  any  trouble.  Sleep  in 
peace;  he  will  rout  you  out,  and  you  will  make  your  train. 
Where  is  your  manager  (  " 

"I  left  him  at  Ballarat,  studying  the  language.  And 
besides,  he  had  to  go  to  Melbourne  and  get  us  ready  for  New 
Zealand.  I've  not  tried  to  pilot  myself  before,  and  it  doesn't 
look  easy." 

"Easy!     You've  seleeted  the  very  most  difficult  piece  of 
railroad  in  Australia  for  your  experiment.      There  are  twelve 
miles  of  this  road  which  no  man  without  good  executive  ability 
can  ever  hope  —  tell  me,  have  you  good  executive  ability  \- 
first-rate  executive  ability  '.  " 

"I --well,  I  think  so,  but  —  " 

"That  settles  it.  The  tone  of --oh,  you  wouldn't  ever 
make  it  in  the  world.  However,  that  American  will  point 
you  right,  and  you'll  go.     You've  got  tickets  '.  " 

"  Y^es —  round  trip  ;  all  the  way  to  Sydney." 

"  Ah,  there  it  is,  you  see  !  You  are  going  in  the  5  o'clock 
by  Castlemaine  -  twelve  miles -- instead  of  the  7.15  by  Bal- 
larat -  in  order  to  save  two  hours  of  fooling;  along;  the  road. 
Now  then,  don't  interrupt-- let  me  have  the  floor.  Y'ou're 
going  to  save  the  government  a  deal  of  hauling,  but  that's 
nothing  ;  your  ticket  is  by  Ballarat,  and  it  isn't  good  over  that 
twelve  miles,  and  so  —  " 

"  But  why  should  the  government  care  which  way  I  go  ?  ' 

"  Goodness  knows  !  Ask  of  the  winds  that  far  away  with 
fragments  strewed  the  sea,  as  the  boy  that  stood  on  the  burn- 
ing deck  used  to  say.  The  government  chooses  to  do  its  rail- 
way business  in  its  own  way.  and  it  doesn't  know  as  much 
about  it  as  the  French.  In  the  beginning  they  tried  idiots ; 
then -they  imported  the  French  -  -  which  was  going  backwards, 


294  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

you  see  ;  now  it  runs  the  roads  itself  which  is  going  back- 
wards again,  you  see.  Why,  do  you  know,  in  order  to  curry 
favor  with  the  voters,  the  government  puts  down  a  road 
wherever  anybody  wants  it — anybody  that  owns  two  sheep 
and  a  dog ;  and  by  consequence  we've  got,  in  the  colony  of 
Victoria,  800  railway  stations,  and  the  business  done  at  eighty 
of  them  doesn't  foot  up  twenty  shillings  a  week." 

"  Five  dollars  \     Oh,  come  !  " 

"  It's  true.     It's  the  absolute  truth." 

"  Why,  there  are  three  or  four  men  on  wages  at  every  sta- 
tion:' 

"  I  know  it.  And  the  station -business  doesn't  pay  for  the 
sheep-dip  to  sanctify  their  coffee  with.  It's  just  as  I  say.  And 
accommodating  ?  Why,  if  you  shake  a  rag  the  train  will  stop 
in  the  midst  of  the  wilderness  to  pick  you  up.  xVll  that  kind 
of  politics  costs,  you  see.  And  then,  besides,  any  town  that 
has  a  good  many  votes  and  wants  a  fine  station,  gets  it.  Don't 
you  overlook  that  Maryborough  station,  if  you  take  an  inter- 
est in  governmental  curiosities.  Why,  you  can  put  the  whole 
population  of  Maryborough  into  it,  and  give  them  a  sofa  apiece, 
and  have  room  for  more.  You  haven't  fifteen  stations  in 
America  that  are  as  big,  and  you  probably  haven't  five  that 
are  half  as  fine.  Why,  it's  per-fectly  elegant.  And  the  clock  ! 
Everybody  will  show  you  the  clock.  There  isn't  a  station  in 
Europe  that's  got  such  a  clock.  It  doesn't  strike —  and  that's 
one  mercy.  It  hasn't  any  bell ;  and  as  you'll  have  cause  to 
remember,  if  you  keep  your  reason,  all  Australia  is  simply  be- 
damned  with  bells.  On  every  quarter-hour,  night  and  day, 
they  jingle  a  tiresome  chime  of  half  a  dozen  notes — all  the 
clocks  in  town  at  once,  all  the  clocks  in  Australasia  at  once, 
and  all  the  very  same  notes  ;  first,  downward  scale  :  mi,  re,  do, 
sol —  then  upward  scale:  sol,  si,  re,  do  —  down  again:  mi,  re, 
do,  sol --up  again:    sol,  si,   re,  do --then  the  clock  —  say  at 


RAILROAD    KCoNo.MIi:>. 


295 


in  i  d  n  i  g  h  t : 
clang — clcmg — 
clang  —  clang  ! 
hello,  what's 
( )h.  I  see — 
eel  by  the 
wouldn't 
could  scare 
of    course, 
and     run 
at    a    loss, 
st  at  ions 
like  Mary- 
at     another 
the  gov  em- 
has  got  to  econ- 
s  o  in  e  w  h  ere, 
it  \     Very    well  — 
the     rolling     stock ! 
where    they    save    the 
Why,  that   train  fron 
ougii  will  consist   of 
freight-cars     and 
senger-kennels  ; 
c  h  e  a  p,  p  o  o  r, 
shabby,  slovenly ; 
no  drinking  water, 
no   sanitary    arrange- 
ments,  every  imaginable 
inconvenience  ;  and  slow  \ — 
oh,  the  gait  of  cold  molasses  ; 
no  air-brake,  no  springs,  and  they'll 
jolt  your  head  off  every  time  they  start  or 


clang  —  clang  —  clang  —  clang  - 

clang  —  clang —  clang  —  clang  - 

-and,    by    that  time  you're  — 

all    this    excitement    about  \ 

a    runaway  —  scar- 

^y  train:     why,    you 

think    this   train 

»*>  anything.  Well, 

when  they  build 

eighty  stations 

and  a  lot  of  palace- 

a  ml  clocks 

borough's 


loSS, 

ment 

omize 

hasn't 

look  at 

T  h  a  t's 

money. 

Marybor- 

eighteen 

p  a  s- 


AISTRAI.IAN    BELLS. 


296  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

stop.  That's  where  they  make  their  little  economies,  you  see. 
They  spend  tons  of  money  to  house  you  palatially  while  you 
wait  fifteen  minutes  for  a  train,  then  degrade  you  to  six  hours' 
convict-transportation  to  get  the  foolish  outlay  back.  What 
a  rational  man  really  needs  is  discomfort  while  he's  waiting; 
then  his  journey  in  a  nice  train  would  be  a  grateful  change. 
But  no,  that  would  be  common  sense — and  out  of  place  in  a 
government.  And  then,  besides,  they  save  in  that  other  little 
detail,  you  know --repudiate  their  own  tickets,  and  collect  a 
poor  little  illegitimate  extra  shilling  out  of  you  for  that 
twelve  miles,  and  —  " 

"  Well,  in  any  case  —  " 

"  Wait  -  -  there's  more.  Leave  that  American  out  of  the 
account  and  see  what  would  happen.  There's  nobody  on  hand 
to  examine  your  ticket  when  you  arrive.  But  the  conductor 
will  come  and  examine  it  when  the  train  is  ready  to  start.  It 
is  too  late  to  buy  your  extra  ticket  now  ;  the  train  can't  wait, 
and  won't.     You  must  climb  out." 

"  But  can't  I  pay  the  conductor  ? " 

"  No,  he  is  not  authorized  to  receive  the  money,  and  he 
won't.  You  must  climb  out,  There's  no  other  way.  I  tell 
you,  the  railway  management  is  about  the  only  thoroughlv 
European  thing  here  —  continentally  European  I  mean,  not 
English.  It's  the  continental  business  in  perfection  ;  down  Jine. 
Oh,  yes,  even  to  the  peanut-commerce  of  weighing  baggage." 

The  train  slowed  up  at  his  place.     As  he  stepped  out  he  said  : 

"  Yes,  you'll  like  Maryborough.  Plenty  of  intelligence 
there.     It's  a  charming  place  —  with  a  hell  of  a  hotel." 

Then  he  was  gone.     I  turned  to  the  other  gentleman : 

"  Is  your  friend  in  the  ministry  \  " 

"No  —  studying  for  it." 


CHAPTER    XXX IT. 

The  man  with  a  new  idea  is  a  Crank  until  the  idea  succeeds. 

—  PitthV ithnitl  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

IT  was  Junior  England  all  the  way  to  Christchurch  -  -  in 
fact,  just  a  garden.  And  Christchurch  is  an  English 
town,  with  an  English-park  annex,  and  a  winding  English 
brook  just  like  the  Avon  —  and  named  the  Avon;  but  from  a 
man,  not  from  Shakespeare's  river.  Its  grassy  banks  are 
bordered  by  the  stateliest  and  most  impressive  weeping  wil- 
lows to  be  found  in  the  world,  I  suppose.  They  continue  the 
line  of  a  great  ancestor;  they  were  grown  from  sprouts  of  the 
willow  that  sheltered  Napoleon's  grave  in  St.  Helena.  It  is  a 
settled  old  community,  with  all  the  serenities,  the  graces,  the 
conveniences,  and  the  comforts  of  the  ideal  home-life.  If  it 
had  an  established  Church  and  social  inequality  it  would  be 
England  over  again  with  hardly  a  lack. 

In  the  museum  we  saw  many  curious  and  interesting- 
things  ;  among  others  a  fine  native  house  of  the  olden  time, 
with  all  the  details  true  to  the  facts,  and  the  showy  colors 
right  and  in  their  proper  places.  All  the  details :  the  tine 
mats  and  rugs  and  things;  the  elaborate  and  wonderful  wood 
carvings  -wonderful,  surely,  considering  who  did  them  — 
wonderful  in  design  and  particularly  in  execution,  for  they 
were  done  with  admirable  sharpness  and  exactness,  and  yet 
with  no  better  tools  than  flint  and  jade  and  shell  could  furnish  ; 
and  the  totem-posts  were  there,  ancestor  above  ancestor,  with 
tongues  protruded  and  hands  clasped  comfortably  over  bellies 
containing  other  people's  ancestors  —  grotesque  and  ugly  devils, 

(297) 


298 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


every  one,  but  lovingly  carved,  and  ably;  and  the  stuffed 
natives  were  present,  in  their  proper  places,  and  looking  as 
natural  as  life ;  and  the  housekeeping  utensils  were  there,  too, 
and  close  at  hand  the  carved  and  finely  ornamented  war  canoe. 
And  we  saw  little  jade  gods,  to  hang  around  the  neck  — 
not  everybody's,  but  sacred  to  the  necks  of  natives  of  rank. 
Also  jade  weapons,  and  many  kinds  of  jade  trinkets  —  all 
made  out  of  that  excessively  hard  stone  without  the  help  of 
any  tool  of  iron.  And  some  of  these  things 
had  small  round  holes  bored  through  them  — 
nobody  knows  how  it  was  done;  a  mvsterv, 
a  lost  art.  I  think  it  was  said  that  if  you  want 
such  a  hole  bored  in  a  piece  of  jade  now,  you 
must  send  it  to  London  or  Amsterdam  where 
the  lapidaries  are. 

Also  we  saw  a  complete  skeleton 
of  the  giant  Moa.  It  stood  ten  feet 
high,  and  must  have  been  a  sight 
to  look  at  when  it  was  a  living 
bird.  It  was  a  kicker,  like  the 
ostrich  ;  in  fight  it  did  not  use  its 
beak,  but  its  foot.  It  must  have 
been  a  convincing  kind  of  kick. 
If  a  person  had  his  back  to  the  bird  and  did  not  see  who  it 
was  that  did  it,  he  would  think  he  had  been  kicked  by  a 
wind-mill. 

There  must  have  been  a  sufficiency  of  moas  in  the  old 
forgotten  days  when  his  breed  walked  the  earth.  His  bones 
are  found  in  vast  masses,  all  crammed  together  in  huge  graves. 
They  are  not  in  caves,  but  in  the  ground.  Nobody  knows  how 
they  happened  to  get  concentrated  there.  Mind,  they  are 
bones,  not  fossils.  This  means  that  the  moa  has  not  been 
extinct  very  long.     Still,  this  is  the  only  New  Zealand  creature 


CARVED   CANOE   PROW 


THE    FIRST   MAORI.  299 

which  has  no  mention  in  that  otherwise  comprehensive  litera- 
ture, the  native  Legends.  This  is  a  significant  detail,  and  is 
good  circumstantial  evidence  that  the  moa  lias  been  extinct 
509  vears,  since  the  Maori  has  himself--bv  tradition --been 

in  New  Zealand  since  the  end  of  the  fifteenth  century.  He 
came  from  an  unknown  land --the  first  Maori  did --then 
sailed  hack  in  his  canoe  and  brought  his  tribe,  and  they  re- 
moved the  aboriginal  peoples  into  the  sea  and  into  the  ground 
and  took  the  land.  That  is  the  tradition.  That  that  first 
Maori  could  come,  is  understandable,  for  anybody  can  come  to 
a  place  when  he  isn't  trying  to;  hut  how  that  discoverer  found 
his  way  hack  home  again  without  a  compass  is  his  secret,  and 
he  died  with  it  in  him.  His  language  indicates  that  he  came 
from  Polynesia.  He  /<>/</  where  he  came  from,  hut  he  couldn't 
spell  well,  so  one  can't  find  the  place  on  the  map,  hecause 
people  who  could  spell  better  than  he  could,  spelt  the  resem- 
hlance  all  out  of  it  when  they  made  the  map.  However,  it  is 
better  to  have  a  map  that  is  spelt  right  than  one  that  has 
information  in  it. 

In  New  Zealand  women  have  the  right  to  vote  for  mem- 
bers of  the  legislature,  hut  they  cannot  he  members  them- 
selves. The  law  extending  the  suffrage  to  them  went  into 
effect  in  1893.  The  population  of  Christchurch  (census  of 
L891)  was  31,454.  The  first  election  under  the  law  was  held 
in  November  of  that  year.  Number  of  men  who  voted,  6,313; 
number  of  women  who  voted,  5,989.  These  figures  ought  to 
convince  us  that  women  are  not  as  indifferent  about  politics  as 
some  people  would  have  us  believe.  In  New  Zealand  as  a 
whole,  the  estimated  adult  female  population  was  139,915;  of 
these  109,461  qualified  and  registered  their  names  on  the  rolls 
—  7S.23  per  cent,  of  the  whole.  Of  these,  90,290  went  to  the 
polls  and  voted— 85.18  per  cent.  Do  men  ever  turn  out 
better  than  that — in  America  or  elsewhere?     Here  is  a   re- 


300  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR 

mark  to  the  other  sex's  credit,  too-    I  take  it  from  the  official 
report : 

"  A  feature  of  the  election  was  the  orderliness  and  sobriety 
of  the  people.     Women  were  in  no  way  molested." 

At  home,  a  standing  argument  against  woman  suffrage  has 
always  been  that  women  could  not  go  to  the  polls  without  being- 
insulted.  The  arguments  against  woman  suffrage  have  always 
taken  the  easy  form  of  prophecy.  The  prophets  have  been 
prophesying  ever  since  the  woman's  rights  movement  began  in 
1848 — and  in  forty-seven  years  thev  have  never  scored  a  hit. 

Men  ought  to  begin  to  feel  a  sort  of  respect  for  their 
mothers  and  wives  and  sisters  by  this  time.  The  women 
deserve  a  change  of  attitude  like  that,  for  they  have  wrought 
well.  In  forty-seven  years  they  have  swept  an  imposingly 
large  number  of  unfair  laws  from  the  statute  books  of  America. 
In  that  brief  time  these  serfs  have  set  themselves  free- 
essentially.  Men  could  not  have  done  so  much  for  themselves 
in  that  time  without  bloodshed  —  at  least  they  never  have ; 
and  that  is  argument  that  thev  didn't  know  how.  The  women 
have  accomplished  a  peaceful  revolution,  and  a  very  beneficent 
one;  and  yet  that  has  not  convinced  the  average  man  that 
they  are  intelligent,  and  have  courage  and  energy  and  perse- 
verance and  fortitude.  It  takes  much  to  convince  the  average 
man  of  anything;  and  perhaps  nothing  can  ever  make  him 
realize  that  he  is  the  average  woman's  inferior  —  yet  in  several 
important  details  the  evidences  seems  to  show  that  that  is 
what  he  is.  Man  has  ruled  the  human  race  from  the  begin- 
ning  —  but  he  should  remember  that  up  to  the  middle  of  the 
present  century  it  was  a  dull  world,  and  ignorant  and  stupid  ; 
but  it  is  not  such  a  dull  world  now,  and  is  growing  less  and 
less  dull  all  the  time.  This  is  woman's  opportunity -- she  has 
had  none  before.  I  wonder  where  man  will  be  in  another 
forty-seven  years '. 


WOMAN'S   OPPORTUNITY.  301 

In  the  New  Zealand  law  occurs  this:  "  The  word  person 
wherever  it  occurs  throughout  the  Act  includes  woman." 

That  is  promotion,  you  see.  By  that  enlargement  of  the 
word,  the  matron  with  the  garnered  wisdom  and  experience  of 
fifty  years  becomes  at  one  jump  the  political  equal  of  her 
callow  kid  of  twenty-one.  The  Avhite  population  of  the  colony 
is  626,000,  the  Maori  population  is  42,000.  The  whites  elect 
seventy  members  of  the  House  of  Representatives,  the  Maoris 
four.     The  Maori  women  vote  for  their  four  members. 

November  16.  After  four  pleasant  days  in  Christehurch, 
we  are  to  leave  at  midnight  to-night.  Mr.  Kinsey  gave  me  an 
ornithorhyncus,  and  I  am  taming  it. 

Sunday,  17th.  Sailed  last  night  in  the  Flora,  from  Lyt- 
telton. 

So  we  did.  I  remember  it  yet.  The  people  who  sailed  in 
the  Flora  that  night  may  forget  some  other  things  if  they  live 
a  good  while,  but  they  will  not  live  long  enough  to  forget 
that.  The  Flora  is  about  the  equivalent  of  a  cattle-scow ; 
but  when  the  Union  Company  find  it  inconvenient  to  keep  a 
contract  and  lucrative  to  break  it,  they  smuggle  her  into 
passenger  service,  and  tk  keep  the  change." 

They  give  no  notice  of  their  projected  depredation;  you 
innocently  buy  tickets  for  the  advertised  passenger  boat,  and 
when  you  get  down  to  Lyttelton  at  midnight,  you  find  that 
they  have  substituted  the  scow.  They  have  plenty  of  good 
boats,  but  no  competition  —  and  that  is  the  trouble.  It  is  too 
late  now  to  make  other  arrangements  if  you  have  eno-agements 
ahead. 

It  is  a  powerful  company,  it  has  a  monopoly,  and  every- 
body is  afraid  of  it  —  including  the  government's  representa- 
tive, who  stands  at  the  end  of  the  stage-plank  to  tally  the 
passengers  and  see  that  no  boat  receives  a  greater  number 
than  the  law  allows   her  to  carry.     This  conveniently-blind 


302  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

representative  saw  the  scow  receive  a  number  which  was  far 
in  excess  of  its  privilege,  and  winked  a  politic  wink  and  said 
nothing.  The  passengers  bore  with  meekness  the  cheat  which 
had  been  put  upon  them,  and  made  no  complaint. 

it  was  like  being  at  home  in  America,  where  abused 
passengers  act  in  just  the  same  way.  A  few  days  before,  the 
Union  Company  had  discharged  a  captain  for  getting  a  boat 
into  danger,  and  had  advertised  this  act  as  evidence  of  its 
vigilance  in  looking  after  the  safety  of  the  passengers  —  for 
thugging  a  captain  costs  the  company  nothing,  but  when 
opportunity  offered  to  send  this  dangerously  overcrowded  tub 
to  sea  and  save  a  little  trouble  and  a  tidy  penny  by  it,  it  forgot 
to  worry  about  the  passenger's  safety. 

The  first  officer  told  me  that  the  Flora  was  privileged  to 
carry  125  passengers.  She  must  have  had  all  of  2  hi  on  board. 
All  the  cabins  were  full,  all  the  cattle-stalls  in  the  main  stable 
Avere  full,  the  spaces  at  the  heads  of  companion  ways  were  full, 
every  inch  of  floor  and  table  in  the  swill-room  was  packed 
with  sleeping  men  and  remained  so  until  the  place  was 
required  for  breakfast,  all  the  chairs  and  benches  on  the  hurri- 
cane deck  were  occupied,  and  still  there  were  people  who  had 
to  walk  about  all  night  ! 

If  the  Flora  had  gone  down  that  night,  half  of  the  people 
on  board  would  have  been  wholly  without  means  of  escape. 

The  owners  of  that  boat  were  not  technically  guilty  of 
conspiracy  to  commit  murder,  but  they  were  morally  guilty 
of  it. 

I  had  a  cattle-stall  in  the  main  stable  —  a  cavern  fitted  up 
with  a  long  double  file  of  two-storied  bunks,  the  files  separated 
by  a  calico  partition  —  twenty  men  and  boys  on  one  side  of  it, 
twenty  women  and  girls  on  the  other.  The  place  was  as  dark 
as  the  soul  of  the  Union  Company,  and  smelt  like  a  kennel. 
When  the  vessel  got  out  into  the  heavy  seas  and  began  to 


A  NEVER-FORGOTTEN   NIGHT. 


303 


pitch  and  wallow,  the  cavern  prisoners  became   immediately 
sea-sick,  and  then  the  peculiar  results  that  ensued  Laid  all  my 
previous   experiences   of   the   kind   well   away   in    the  shade. 
And  the  wails,  the  groans,  the  cries, 
the    shrieks,    the    strange   ejacula- 
tions —  it  was  wonderful. 

The  women  and  children 
and  some  of  the  men 
and  boys  spent  the 
night  in  that  place,  for 
they  were  too  ill  to 
leave  it ;  but  the  rest 
of  us  got  up,  by  and 
by,  and  finished  the 
night  on  the  hurricane- 
deck. 

That  boat  was  the 
foulest  1  was  ever  in  ; 
and  the  smell  of  the 
breakfast  saloon  when 
Ave  threaded  our  way 
among  the  layers  of 
steaming  passengers 
stretched  upon  its  floor  and  its  tables  was  incomparable  for 
efficiency. 

A  good  many  of  us  got  ashore  at  the  first  way-port  to  seek 
another  ship.  After  a  wait  of  three  hours  we  got  good  rooms 
in  the  Mahinapua,  a  wee  little  bridal-parlor  of  a  boat — only 
205  tons  burthen  ;  clean  and  comfortable  ;  good  service ;  good 
beds;  good  table,  and  no  crowding.  The  seas  danced  her 
about  like  a  duck,  but  she  was  safe  and  capable. 

Next  morning  early  she  went  through  the  French  Pass  —  a 
narrow  gateway  of  rock,  between  bold  headlands  — so  narrow, 


CATTLE   STALLS   ON   THE   FLORA. 


304 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


in  fact,  that  it  seemed  no  wider  than  a  street.  The  current 
tore  through  there  like  a  mill-race,  and  the  boat  darted 
through  like  a  telegram.  The  passage  was  made  in  half  a 
minute;  then  we  were  in  a  wide  place  where  noble  vast  eddies 
swept  grandly  round  and  round  in  shoal  water,  and  I  won- 
dered what  they  would  do  with  the  little  boat.  They  did  as 
they  pleased  with  her.  They  picked  her  up  and  flung  her 
around  like  nothing  and  landed  her  gently  on  the  solid,  smooth 
bottom  of  sand  — so  gently,  indeed,  that  we  barely  felt  her 
touch  it,  barely  felt  her  quiver  when  she  came  to  a  standstill. 
The  water  was  as  clear  as  glass,  the  sand  on  the  bottom  was 
vividly  distinct,  and  the  fishes  seemed  to  be  swimming  about 
in  nothing.  Fishing  lines  were  brought  out,  but  before  we 
could  bait  the  hooks  the  boat  was  off  and  away  again. 


CHAPTER   XXXIII. 

Let  us  be  grateful  to  Adam  our  benefactor.  He  cut  us  out  of  the  "  blessing" 
of  idleness  and  won  for  us  the  "  curse  "  of  labor. 

—  Pudd' ahead   Wdsori'B  Xev  Calendar. 

VE  soon  reached  the  town  of  Nelson,  and  spent  the 
must  of  the  day  there,  visiting  acquaintances  and 
driving-  with  them  about  the  garden --the  whole 
region  is  a  garden,  excepting  the  scene  of  the  "  Maungatapu 
Murders,"  of  thirty  years  ago.  That  is  a  wild  place —  wild  and 
lonely ;  an  ideal  place  for  a  murder.  It  is  at  the  base  of  a 
vast,  rugged,  densely  timbered  mountain.  In  the  deep  twilight 
of  that  forest  solitude  four  desperate  rascals --Burgess, 
Sullivan,  Levy,  and  Kelley --ambushed  themselves  beside  the 
mountain  trail  to  murder  and  rob  four  travelers--  Ivempthorne, 
Mathieu,  Dudley,  and  De  Pontius,  the  latter  a  New  Yorker. 
A  harmless  old  laboring  man  came  wandering  along,  and  as  his 
presence  was  an  embarrassment,  they  choked  him.  hid  him,  and 
then  resumed  their  watch  for  the  four.  They  had  to  wait  a 
while,  but  eventually  everything  turned  out  as  they  desired. 

That  dark  episode  is  the  one  large  event  in  the  history  of 
Nelson.  The  fame  of  it  traveled  far.  Burgess  made  a  con- 
fession. It  is  a  remarkable  paper.  For  brevity,  succinctness, 
and  concentration,  it  is  perhaps  without  its  peer  in  the  litera- 
ture of  murder.  There  are  no  waste  words  in  it  ;  there  is  no 
obtrusion  of  matter  not  pertinent  to  the  occasion,  nor  any  de- 
parture from  the  dispassionate  tone  proper  to  a  formal  business 
statement  —  for  that  is  what  it  is:  a  business  statement  of  a 
murder,  by  the  chief  engineer  of  it,  or  superintendent,  or  fore- 
man, or  whatever  one  may  prefer  to  call  him. 

20  ( 305 ) 


306  FOLLOWING   THIS   EQUATOR. 

"  We  were  getting  impatient,  when  wo  saw  four  men  and  a  pack-horse 
coining.  1  left  my  cover  and  had  a  look  at  the  men,  for  Levy  had  told  me 
that  Mathieu  was  a  small  man  and  wore  a  large  beard,  and  that  it  was  a  chest- 
nut horse.  I  said,  'Here  they  come.'  They  were  then  a  good  distance 
away;  I  took  the  caps  off  my  gun,  and  put  fresh  ones  on.  I  said,  'You 
keep  where  you  are,  I'll  put  them  up,  and  you  give  me  your  gun  while  you 
lie  them.'  It  was  arranged  as  I  have  described.  The  men  came;  they 
arrived  within  about  fifteen  yards  when  1  stepped  up  and  said,  '  Stand  !  bail 
up  ! '  That  means  all  of  them  to  get  together  I  made  them  fall  back  on  the 
upper  side  of  the  road  with  their  faces  up  the  range,  and  Sullivan  brought 
me  his  gun,  and  then  tied  their  hands  behind  them.  The  horse  was  very 
quiet  all  the  time,  he  did  not  move.  When  they  were  all  tied.  Sullivan  took 
tiie  horse  up  the  hill,  and  put  him  in  the  bush  ;  he  cut  the  rope  and  let  the 
swags*  fall  on  the  ground,  and  then  came  to  me.  We  then  inarched  the  men 
down  the  incline  to  the  creek  ;  the  water  at  this  time  barely  running.  Up 
this  creek  we  took  the  men  ;  we  went,  I  daresay,  rive  or  six  hundred  yards 
up  it,  which  took  us  nearly  half-an  hour  to  accomplish.  Then  we  turned  to 
the  right  up  the  range  ;  we  went.  I  daresay,  one  hundred  and  fifty  yards 
from  the  creek,  and  there  we  sat  down  with  the  men  I  said  to  Sullivan,  "  Put 
down  your  gun  and  search  these  men."  which  he  did  I  asked  them  their 
several  names  ;  they  told  me.  I  asked  them  if  they  were  expected  at  Nelson. 
They  said,  'No.'  If  such  their  lives  would  have  been  spared.  In  money 
we  took  £60  odd.  I  said,  '  Is  this  all  you  have  ?  You  had  better  tell  me.' 
Sullivan  said.  'Here  is  a  bag  of  gold.'  I  said,  '  What's  on  that  pack-horse? 
Is  there  any  gold  ? '  when  Kempthorne  said,  '  Yes,  my  gold  is  in  the  port- 
manteau, and  I  trust  you  will  not  take  it  all.'  '  Well,'  I  said,  '  we  must  take 
you  away  one  at  a  time,  because  the  range  is  steep  just  here,  and  then  we  will 
let  you  go.'  They  said,  '  All  right,"  most  cheerfully.  We  tied  their  feet,  and 
took  Dudley  with  us;  we  went  about  sixty  yards  with  him.  This  was 
through  a  scrub.  It  was  arranged  the  night  previously  that  it  would  be  best 
to  choke  them,  in  case  the  report  of  the  arms  might  be  heard  from  the  road, 
and  if  they  were  missed  they  never  would  be  found.  So  we  tied  a  handker- 
chief over  his  eyes,  when  Sullivan  took  the  sash  off  his  waist,  put  it  round 
his  neck,  and  so  strangled  him.  Sullivan,  after  I  had  killed  the  old  laboring 
man,  found  fault  with  the  way  he  was  choked.  He  said,  'The  next  we  do 
I'll  show  you  my  way.'  1  said.  'I  have  never  done  such  a  thing  before.  I 
have  shot  a  man.  but  never  choked  one."  AVe  returned  to  the  others,  when 
Kempthorne  said.  '  What  noise  was  that  ?'  I  said  it  was  caused  by  breaking 
through  the  scrub.  This  was  taking  too  much  time,  so  it  was  agreed  to  shoot 
them.  With  that  I  said,  '  We'll  take  you  no  further,  but  separate  you.  and 
then  loose  one  of  you,  and  he  can  relieve  the  others.'  So  with  that,  Sullivan 
took  De  Pontius  to  the  left  of  where  Kempthorne  was  sitting  I  took 
Mathieu  to  the  right  I  tied  a  strap  round  his  legs,  and  shot  him  with  a  re- 
volver. He  yelled,  I  ran  from  him  with  my  gun  in  my  hand,  I  sighted 
Kempthorne,  who  had  risen  to  his  feet.     I   presented  the  gun,  and  shot   him 


A  "swag"  is  a  kit,  a  pack,  small  bajrgage. 


THE   MAUNGATAPU   MURDERS.  307 

behind  the  right  ear;  his  life's  blood  welled  from  him.  and  he  died  instan- 
taneously. Sullivan  had  shot  I)e  Pontius  in  the  meantime,  and  then  came  to 
me.  I  said,  'Look  to  Mathieu,'  indicating-  the  spot  where  he  lay.  He  shortly 
returned  and  said,  '  I  had  to  "  chiv  "  that  fellow,  he  was  not  dead,'  a  cant  word, 
meaning  that  he  had  to  stab  him.  Returning  to  the  road  we  passed  where 
De  Pontius  lay  and  was  dead  Sullivan  -aid.  '  This  is  the  digger,  the  others 
were  all  storekeepers  ;  this  is  the  digger,  let's  cover  him  up,  for  should  the 
others  be  found,  they'll  think  he  done  it  and  sloped,'  meaning  he  had  gone. 
So  with  that  we  threw  all  the  stones  on  him.  and  then  left  him.  This  bloody 
work  took  nearly  an  hour  and  a  half  from  the  time  we  stopped  the  men.'' 

Anyone  who  reals  that  confession  will  think  that  the  man 
who  wrote  it  was  destitute  of  emotions,  destitute  of  feeling. 
That  is  partly  true.  As  regarded  others  he  was  plainly  with- 
out feeling- —  utterly  cold  and  pitiless;  but  as  regarded  him- 
self the  case  was  different.  AVhile  he  cared  nothing  for  the 
future  of  the  murdered  men,  he  cared  a  great  deal  for  his 
own.  It  makes  one's  rlesh  creep  to  read  the  introduction  to 
his  confession.  The  judge  on  the  bench  characterized  it  as 
'•scandalously  blasphemous,'1  and  it  certainly  reads  so,  hut 
Burgess  meant  no  blasphemy.  He  was  merely  a  brute,  and 
whatever  he  said  or  wrote  was  sure  to  expose  the  fact.  His 
redemption  was  a  very  real  thing  to  him,  and  he  was  as  jubi- 
lantly happy  on  the  gallows  as  ever  was  Christian  martyr  at 
the  stake.  We  dwellers  in  this  world  are  strangely  made,  and 
mysteriously  circumstanced.  We  have  to  suppose  that  the 
murdered  men  are  lost,  and  that  Burgess  is  saved  ;  but  we 
cannot  suppress  our  natural  regrets: 

' '  Written  in  my  dungeon  drear  this  7th  of  August,  in  the  year  of  Grace.  1866. 
To  God  be  ascribed  all  power  and  glory  in  subduing  the  rebellious  spirit  of  a 
most  guilty  wretch,  who  has  been  brought,  through  the  instrumentality  of  a 
faithful  follower  of  Christ,  to  see  his  wretched  and  guilty  state,  inasmuch  as 
hitherto  he  has  led  an  awful  and  wretched  life,  and  through  the  assurance  of 
this  faithful  soldier  of  Christ,  he  has  been  led  and  also  believes  that  Christ  will 
yet  receive  and  cleanse  him  from  all  his  deep-dyed  and  bloody  sins.  I  lie 
under  the  imputation  which  says,  '  Come  now  and  let  us  reason  together, 
saith  the  Lord:  though  your  sins  be  as  scarlet,  they  shall  he  as  white  as 
snow;  though  they  be  red  like  crimson,  they  shall  be  as  wool.'  On  this 
promise  I  rely." 

We  sailed  in  the  afternoon  late,  spent  a  few  hours  at  New 


308  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

Plymouth,  then  sailed  again  and  reached  Auckland  the  next 
day,  November  20th,  and  remained  in  that  fine  city  several 
days.  Its  situation  is  commanding,  and  the  sea-view  is  superb. 
There  are  charming  drives  all  about,  and  by  courtesy  of  friends 
we  had  opportunity  to  enjoy  them.  From  the  grassy  crater- 
summit  of  Mount  Eden  one's  eye  ranges  over  a  grand  sweep 
and  variety  of  scenery  —  forests  clothed  in  luxuriant  foliage, 
rolling  green  fields,  conflagrations  of  flowers,  receding  and 
dimming  stretches  of  green  plain,  broken  by  lofty  and  sym- 
metrical old  craters  — then  the  blue  bays  twinkling  and  spark- 
ling away  into  the  dreamy  distances  where  the  mountains  loom 
spiritual  in  their  veils  of  haze. 

It  is  from  Auckland  that  one  goes  to  Rotorua,  the  region  of 
the  renowned  hot  lakes  and  geysers — one  of  the  chief  won- 
ders of  New  Zealand  ;  but  I  was  not  well  enough  to  make  the 
trip.  The  government  has  a  sanitorium  there,  and  everything 
is  comfortable  for  the  tourist  and  the  invalid.  The  govern- 
ment's olficial  physician  is  almost  over-cautious  in  his  estimates 
of  the  efficacy  of  the  baths,  when  he  is  talking  about  rheuma- 
tism, gout,  paralysis,  and  such  things;  but  when  he  is  talking 
about  the  effectiveness  of  the  waters  in  eradicating  the  whisky- 
habit,  he  seems  to  have  no  reserves.  The  baths  will  cure  the 
drinkinu'-habit  no  matter  how  chronic  it  is  —  and  cure  it  so 
effectually  that  even  the  desire  to  drink  intoxicants  will  come 
no  more.  There  should  be  a  rush  from  Europe  and  America 
to  that  place ;  and  when  the  victims  of  alcoholism  find  out 
what  they  can  get  by  going  there,  the  rush  will  begin. 

The  Thermal-springs  District  of  Xew  Zealand  comprises  an 
area  of  upwards  of  600,000  acres,  or  close  on  1,000  square 
miles.  Rotorua  is  the  favorite  place.  It  is  the  center  of  a 
rich  field  of  lake  and  mountain  scenery ;  from  Rotorua  as  a  base 
the  pleasure-seeker  makes  excursions.  The  crowd  of  sick  people 
is  great,  and  growing.     Rotorua  is  the  Carlsbad  of  Australasia. 


'H9T.3 


Ho'P   SPRINGS,    AND   GEYSERS. 


AUCKLAND   AND  ROTORUA.  ;;n 

It  is  from  Auckland  that  the  Kauri  gum  is  shipped.  For  a 
long  time  now  about  8,000  tons  of  it  have  been  brought  into 
the  town  per  year.  It  is  worth  about  $300  per  ton,  unassorted; 
assorted,  the  fines!  grades  are  worth  about  $1,000.  It  goes  to 
America,  chiefly.  It  is  in  Lumps,  and  is  hard  and  smooth,  and 
looks  like  amber -- the  light-colored  like  new  amber,  and  the 
dark  brown  like  rich  old  amber.  And  it  lias  the  pleasant  feel 
of  amber,  too.  Sonic  of  the  light-colored  samples  were  a  tol- 
erably fair  counterfeit  of  uncut  South  African  diamonds,  they 
were  so  perfectly  smooth  and  polished  and  transparent.  It  is 
manufactured  into  varnish;  a  varnish  which  answers  for  copal 
varnish  and  is  cheaper. 

The  gum  is  dug  tip  out  of  the  ground  :  it  has  been  there 
for  ages.  It  is  the  sap  of  the  Kauri  tree.  Dr.  Campbell  of 
Auckland  told  me  he  sent  a  cargo  of  it  to  England  fifty  years 
aero,  but  nothing  came  of  the  venture.  Nobody  knew  what  to 
do  with  it  :  so  it  was  sold  at  £5  a  ton.  to  light  fires  with. 

November  26 --3  p.  m.«  sailed.  Vast  and  beautiful  harbor. 
Land  all  about  tor  hours.  Tangariwa,  the  mountain  that  "has 
the  same  shape  from  every  point  of  view."'  That  is  the  com- 
mon belief  in  Auckland.  And  so  it  has-- from  every  point  of 
view  except  thirteen.  .  .  .  Perfect  summer  weather. 
Large  school  of  whales  in  the  distance.  Nothing  could  be 
daintier  than  the  puffs  of  vapor  they  spout  up.  when  seen 
against  the  pink  glory  of  the  sinking  sun,  or  against  the  dark- 
mass  of  an  island  reposing  in  the  deep  blue  shadow  of  a  storm- 
cloud.  .  .  .  Great  Barrier  rock  standing  tip  out  of  the  sea 
away  to  the  left.  Sometime  ago  a  ship  hit  it  full  speed  in  a 
fog —  -2  i  miles  out  of  her  course--  14o  lives  lost :  the  captain 
committed  suicide  without  waiting  a  moment.  He  knew  that, 
whether  he  was  to  blame  or  not.  the  company  owning  the  ves- 
sel would  discharge  him  and  make  a  devotion-to-passengers'- 
safety  advertisement  out  of  it.  and  his  chance  to  make  a  liveli- 
hood would  be  permanently  gone. 


CHAPTEE   XXXIV. 

Let  us  not  be  too  particular.     It  is  better  to  hr.ve  old  second-hand  diamonds 
than  none  at  all. — PaddPrikeadWUson's  New  Calendar. 

^OVEMBEE,  '21.  To-day  we  reached  Gisborne,  and 
anchored  in  a  big  bay ;  there  was  a  heavy  sea  on,  so 
we  remained  on  board. 
We  were  a  mile  from  shore ;  a  little  steam-tug  put  out 
from  the  land  ;  she  was  an  object  of  thrilling  interest ;  she 
would  climb  to  the  summit  of  a  billow,  reel  drunkenly  there  a 
moment,  dim  and  gray  in  the  driving  storm  of  spindrift,  then 
make  a  plunge  like  a  diver  and  remain  out  of  sight  until  one 
had  given  her  up,  then  up  she  would  dart  again,  on  a  steep 
slant  toward  the  sky,  shedding  Niagaras  of  water  from  her 
forecastle  —  and  this  she  kept  up,  all  the  way  out  to  us.  She 
brought  twenty-five  passengers  in  her  stomach — men  and 
women  --mainly  a  traveling  dramatic  company.  In  sight  on 
deck  were  the  crew,  in  sou' westers,  yellow  waterproof  canvas 
suits,  and  boots  to  the  thigh.  The  deck  was  never  quiet  for 
a  moment,  and  seldom  nearer  level  than  a  ladder,  and  noble 
were  the  seas  which  leapt  aboard  and  went  flooding  aft.  We 
rove  a  long  line  to  the  yard-arm,  hung  a  most  primitive  basket- 
chair  to  it  and  swung  it  out  into  the  spacious  air  of  heaven, 
and  there  it  swayed,  pendulum-fashion,  waiting  for  its  chance 
—  then  down  it  shot,  skillfully  aimed,  and  was  grabbed  by  the 
two  men  on  the  forecastle.  A  young  fellow  belonging  to  our 
crew  was  in  the  chair,  to  be  a  protection  to  the  lady-comers. 
At  once  a  couple  of  ladies  appeared  from  below,  took  seats  in 
his  lap,  we  hoisted  them  into  the  sky,  waited  a  moment  till  the 

(313) 


PROTECTING  THE   LADIES. 


PASSENGERS  BY   THE    YARD.  ;Ji;> 

roll  of  the  ship  brought  them  in,  oveih>;td,  then  we  lowered 
suddenly  away,  and  seized  the  chair  as  it  struck  the  deck. 
We  took  the  twenty-live  aboard,  and  delivered  twenty-five 
into  the  tug-  among  them  several  aged  ladies,  and  one  blind 
one  —  and  all  without  accident.     It  was  a  fine  piece  of  work. 

Ours  is  a  nice  ship,  roomy,  comfortable,  well-ordered,  and 
satisfactory.  Xow  and  then  we  step  on  a  rat  in  a  hotel,  but 
we  have  had  no  rats  on  shipboard  lately  ;  unless,  perhaps  in 
the  Flora;  we  had  more  serious  things  to  think  of  there,  and 
did  not  notice.  I  have  noticed  that  it  is  only  in  ships  and 
hotels  which  still  employ  the  odious  Chinese  gong,  that  you 
find  rats.  The  reason  would  seem  to  be,  that  as  a  rat  cannot 
tell  the  time  of  day  by  a  clock,  he  won't  stay  where  he  cannot 
find  out  when  dinner  is  ready. 

November  29.  The  doctor  tells  me  of  several  old  drunk- 
ards, one  spiritless  loafer,  and  several  far-gone  moral  wrecks 
who  have  been  reclaimed  by  the  Salvation  Army  and  have  re- 
mained staunch  people  and  hard  workers  these  two  years. 
Wherever  one  goes,  these  testimonials  to  the  Army's  efficiency 
are  forthcoming.  .  .  .  This  morning  we  had  one  of  those 
whizzing  green  Ballarat  flies  in  the  room,  with  his  stunning1 
buzz-saw  noise  —  the  swiftest  creature  in  the  world  except  the 
lightning-flash.  It  is  a  stupendous  force  that  is  stored  up  in 
that  little  body.  If  we  had  it  in  a  ship  in  the  s:uiilj  proportion, 
we  could  spin  from  Liverpool  to  New  York  in  the  space  of  an 
hour — the  time  it  takes  to  eat  luncheon.  The  New  Zealand 
express  train  is  called  the  Ballarat  Fly.  .  .  .  Bad  teeth  in 
the  colonies.  A  citizen  told  me  they  don't  have  teeth  filled, 
but  pull  them  out  and  put  in  false  ones,  and  that  now  and  then 
one  sees  a  young  lady  with  a  full  set.  She  is  fortunate.  I 
wish  I  had  been  born  with  false  teeth  and  a  false  liver  and 
false  carbuncles.     I  should  get  along  better. 

December  ,J.     Monday:     Left  Napier  in  the  Ballarat  Fly  — 


310  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

the  one  that  goes  twice  a  week.  From  Napier  to  Hastings, 
twelve  miles;  time,  fifty-five  minutes  —  not  so  far  short  of 
thirteen  miles  an  hour.  ...  A  perfect  summer  day ;  cool 
breeze,  -brilliant  sky,  rich  vegetation.  Two  or  three  times  dur- 
ing the  afternoon  we  saw  wonderfully  dense  and  beautiful 
forests,  tumultuously  piled  skyward  on  the  broken  highlands 
—  not  the  customary  roof-like  slant  of  a  hillside,  where  the 
trees  a-e  all  the  same  height.  The  noblest  of  these  trees  were  of 
the  Kauri  breed,  we  were  told  --the  timber  that  is  now  furnish- 
ing the  wood-paving  for  Europe,  and  is  the  best  of  all  wood  for 
that  purpose.  Sometimes  these  towering  upheavals  of  forestrv 
were  festooned  and  garlanded  with  vine-cables,  and  sometimes 
the  masses  of  undergrowth  were  cocooned  in  another  sort  of 
vine  of  a  delicate  cobwebby  texture  —  they  call  it  the  "supple- 
jack,'' I  think.  Tree  ferns  everywhere  —  a  stem  fifteen  feet 
high,  with  a  graceful  chalice  of  fern-fronds  sprouting  from  its 
top  —  a  lovely  forest  ornament.  And  there  was  a  ten-foot 
reed  with  a  flowing  suit  of  what  looked  like  yellow  hair  hang- 
ing from  its  upper  end.  I  do  not  know  its  name,  but  if  there 
is  such  a  thing  as  a  scalp-plant,  this  is  it.  A  romantic  gorge, 
with  a  brook  flowing  in  its  bottom,  approaching  Palmerston 
North. 

Waitukurau.  Twenty  minutes  for  luncheon.  With  me 
sat  my  wife  and  daughter,  and  my  manager,  Mr.  Carlyle 
Smythe.  I  sat  at  the  head  of  the  table,  and  could  see  the 
right-hand  wall;  the  others  had  their  backs  to  it.  On  that 
wall,  at  a  good  distance  away,  were  a  couple  of  framed 
pictures.  I  could  not  see  them  clearly,  but  from  the  group- 
ings of  the  figures  I  fancied  that  they  represented  the  killing 
of  Napoleon  Ill's  son  by  the  Zulus  in  South  Africa.  I  broke 
into  the  conversation,  which  was  about  poetry  and  cabbage 
and  art,  and  said  to  my  wife  — 

"  Do  you  remember  when  the  news  came  to  Paris  - 


MENTAL  TELEGRAPHY.  :;i 


"  Of  the  killing  of  the  Prince  3  " 


o 


(Those  were  the  very  words  I  had  in  my  mind.)  "  Yes, 
but  what  Prince  \  " 

"Napoleon.     Lulu." 

"What  made  you  think  of  that  ?" 

"  I  don't  know." 

There  was  no  collusion.  She  had  not  seen  the  pictures,  and 
thev  had  not  been  mentioned.  She  ought  to  have  thought 
of  some  recent  news  that  came  to  Paris,  for  we  were  but  seven 
months  from  there  and  had  been  living  there  a  couple  of  years 
when  we  started  on  this  trip  :  but  instead  of  that  she  thought 
of  an  incident  of  our  brief  sojourn  in  Paris  of  sixteen  years 
before. 

Here  was  a  clear  case  of  mental  telegraphy ;  of  mind-trans- 
ference ;  of  my  mind  telegraphing  a  thought  into  hers.  How 
do  I  know  \  Because  I  telegraphed  an  error.  For  it  turned 
out  that  the  pictures  did  not  represent  the  killing  of  Lulu  at  all, 
nor  anything  connected  with  Lulu.  She  had  to  get  the  error 
from  my  head  —  it  existed  nowhere  else. 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

The  Autocrat  of  Russia  possesses  more  power  than  any  other  man  in  the  earth  ; 
but  he  cannot  stop  a  sneeze.  — Pudd'  ahead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

WAHtANUI,  December  3.  A  pleasant  trip,  yesterday, 
per  Ballarat  Fly.  Four  hours.  I  do  not  know  the 
distance,  but  it  must  have  been  well  along  toward 
fifty  miles.  The  Fly  could  have  spun  it  out  to  eight  hours  and 
not  discommoded  me  ;  for  where  there  is  comfort,  and  no  need 
for  hurry,  speed  is  of  no  value  —  at  least  to  me;  and  nothing 
that  goes  on  wheels  can  be  more  comfortable,  more  satisfac- 
tory, than  the  New  Zealand  trains.  Outside  of  America  there 
are  no  cars  that  are  so  rationally  devised.  When  you  add  the 
constant  presence  of  charming  scenery  and  the  nearly  constant 
absence  of  dust  -  well,  if  one  is  not  content  then,  he  ought  to 
get  out  and  walk.  That  would  change  his  spirit,  perhaps  \  I 
think  so.  At  the  end  of  an  hour  you  would  find  him  waiting 
humbly  beside  the  track,  and  glad  to  be  taken  aboard  again. 

Much  horseback  riding,  in  and  around  this  town;  many 
comely  girls  in  cool  and  pretty  summer  gowns ;  much  Salva- 
tion Army;  lots  of  Maoris;  the  faces  and  bodies  of  some  of 
the  old  ones  very  tastefully  frescoed.  Maori  Council  House 
over  the  river  —  large,  strong,  carpeted  from  end  to  end  with 
matting,  and  decorated  with  elaborate  wood  carvings,  artisti- 
cally executed.     The  Maoris  were  very  polite. 

I  was  assured  by  a  member  of  the  House  of  Representatives 
that  the  native  race  is  not  decreasing,  but  actually  increasing 
slightly.  It  is  another  evidence  that  they  are  a  superior  breed 
of  savages.      I  do  not  call  to  mind  any  savage  race  that  built 

(318) 


THE   .MAORIS. 


319 


such  good  houses,  or  such  strong  and  ingenious  and  scientific 
fortresses,  or  gave  s>  much  attention  to  agriculture,  or  had 
military  arts  and  devices  which  so  nearly  approached  the  white 
mans.  These,  taken  together  with  their  high  abilities  in  boat- 
building, and  their  tastes  and  capacities  in  the  ornamental  arts, 
modify  their  savagery  to  a  semi-civilization — or  at  least  to 
a  quarter-civilization. 

It  is  a  compliment  to  them  that  the  British  did  not  exter- 
minate them,  as  they  did  the  Australians  and  the  Tasmanians, 
hut  were  content  with  subduing  them,  and  showed  no  desire  to 
!••()  further.  And  it  is 
another  compliment 
to  them  that  the 
British  did  not  take 
the  whole  of  their 
choicest  lands,  but 
kd't  them  a  considera- 
ble part,  and  then 
went  further  and  pro- 
tected them  from  the 
rapacities  of  land- 
sharks  —  a  protection 

which  tha  Xew  Zealand  Government  still  extends  to  them. 
And  it  is  still  another  compliment  to  the  Maoris  that  the 
Government  allows  native  representation  in  both  the  legisla- 
ture and  the  cabinet,  and  gives  both  sexes  the  vote.  And  in 
doing  these  things  the  Government  also  compliments  itself; 
it  has  not  been  the  custom  of  the  world  for  conquerors  to  act 
in  this  large  spirit  toward  the  conquered. 

The  highest  class  white  men  who  lived  among  the  Maoris 
in  the  earliest  time  had  a  high  opinion  of  them  and  a  strong 
affection  for  them.  Among  the  whites  of  this  sort  was  the 
author  of  "Old  Xew  Zealand;"  and  Dr.  Campbell  of  Auckland 


MAORI    WOMEN"    WITH    FEATHER    ROBES. 


320 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


was  another.  Dr.  Campbell  was  a  close  friend  of  several 
chiefs,  and  has  many  pleasant  things  to  say  of  their  fidelity, 
their  magnanimity,  and  their  generosity.  Also  of  their  quaint 
notions  about  the  white  man's  queer  civilization,  and  their 
equally  quaint  comments  upon  it.  One  of  them  thought  the 
missionary  had  got  everything  wrong  end  first  and  upside 
down.  "  Why,  he  wants  us  to  stop  worshiping  and  supplica- 
ting the  evil  gods,  and  go 
to  worshiping  and  sup- 
plicating the  Good  One ! 
There  is  no  sense  in  that. 
A  good  god  is  not  going 
to  do  us  any  harm.'" 

The  Maoris  had  the 
tabu  ;  and  had  it  on  a 
Polynesian  scale  of  com- 
prehensiveness and  elabo- 
ration. Some  of  its  fea- 
tures could  have  been 
importations  from  India 
nose  rubbing,  form  of  salutation.         and  jluiea.     Neither  the 

Maori  nor  the  Hindoo  of  common  degree  could  cook  by  a 
fire  that  a  person  of  higher  caste  had  used,  nor  could  the  high 
Maori  or  high  Hindoo  employ  fire  that  had  served  a  man  of 
low  grade ;  if  a  low-grade  Maori  or  Hindoo  drank  from  a  ves- 
sel belonging  to  a  high-grade  man,  the  vessel  was  defiled,  and 
had  to  be  destroyed.  There  were  other  resemblances  between 
Maori  tabu  and  Hindoo  caste-custom. 

Yesterday  a  lunatic  burst  into  my  quarters  and  warned  me 
that  the  Jesuits  were  going  to  "  cook  "  (poison)  me  in  my  food, 
or  kill  me  on  the  stage  at  night.  He  said  a  mysterious  sign 
A  was  visible  upon  my  posters  and  meant  my  death.  He 
said  he  saved  Rev.  Mr.  Haweis's  life  by  warning  him  that 


SAVED  BY   A   LUNATIC.  321 

there  were  three  men  on  his  platform  who  would  kill  him  if  he 
took  his  eyes  off  them  for  a  moment  during  his  lecture.  The 
same  men  were  in  my  audience  last  night,  but  they  saw  that 
he  was  there.  "  Will  they  be  there  again  to-night  \  "  He  hesi- 
tated ;  then  said  no,  he  thought  they  would  rath  r  take  a  rest  and 
chance  the  poison.  This  lunatic  has  no  delicacy.  But  he  was 
not  uninteresting.  He  told  me  a  lot  of  things.  He  said  he 
had  "saved  so  many  lecturers  in  twenty  years,  that  they  put 
Jii m  in  th  asylum."  I  think  he  has  less  refinement  than  any 
lunatic  I  have  met. 

December  8.  A  couple  of  curious  war-monuments  here  at 
Wanganui.  One  is  in  honor  of  white  men  "  who  fell  in  de- 
fence  of  law  and  order  against  fanaticism  and  barbarism." 
Fanaticism.  We  Americans  are  English  in  blood,  English  in 
speech,  English  in  religion,  English  in  the  essentials  of  our 
governmental  system,  English  in  the  essentials  of  our  civiliza- 
tion ;  and  so,  let  us  hope,  for  the  honor  of  the  blend,  for  the 
honor  of  the  blood,  for  the  honor  of  the  race,  that  that  word 
got  there  through  lack  of  needfulness,  and  will  not  be  suffered 
to  remain.  If  you  carve  it  at  Thermopylae,  or  where  Winkel- 
ried  died,  or  upon  Bunker  Hill  monument,  and  read  it  again - 
'•who  fell  in  defence  of  law  and  order  against  fanaticism" 
you  will  perceive  what  the  word  means,  and  how  mischosen  it 
is.  Patriotism  is  Patriotism.  Calling  it  Fanaticism  cannot 
degrade  it ;  nothing  can  degrade  it.  Even  though  it  be  a 
political  mistake,  and  a  thousand  times  a  political  mistake, 
that  does  not  affect  it:  it  is  honorable  —  always  honorable, 
always  noble — and  privileged  to  hold  its  head  up  and  look 
the  nations  in  the  face.  It  is  right  to  praise  these  brave  white 
men  who  fell  in  the  Maori  war  —  they  deserve  it;  but  the 
presence  of  that  word  detracts  from  the  dignity  of  their 
cause  and  their  deeds,  and  makes  them  appear  to  have  spilt 
their  blood  in  a  conflict  with  ignoble  men,  men  not  worthy 

21 


322  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

of  that  costly  sacrifice.  But  the  men  were  worthy.  It  was 
no  shame  to  fight  them.  They  fought  for  their  homes,  they 
fought  for  their  country;  they  bravely  fought  and  bravely 
fell ;  and  it  would  take  nothing  from  the  honor  of  the  brave 
Englishmen  who  lie  under  the  monument,  but  add  to  it,  to  say 
that  they  died  in  defense  of  English  laws  and  English  homes 
against  men  worthy  of  the  sacrifice  —  the  Maori  patriots. 

The  other  monument  cannot  be  rectified.  Except  wTith  dy- 
namite. It  is  a  mistake  all  through,  and  a  strangely  thought- 
less one.  It  is  a  monument  erected  by  white  men  to  Maoris 
who  fell  fighting  with  the  whites  and  against  their  own  people, 
in  the  Maori  war.  "  Sacred  to  the  memory  of  the  brave  men 
who  fell  on  the  14th  of  May,  1864,"  etc.  On  one  side  are  the 
names  of  about  twenty  Maoris.  It  is  not  a  fancy  of  mine;  the 
monument  exists.  I  saw  it.  It  is  an  object-lesson  to  the  rising 
generation.  It  invites  to  treachery,  disloyalty,  unpatriotism. 
Its  lesson,  in  frank  terms  is,  "  Desert  your  flag,  slay  your 
people,  burn  their  homes,  shame  your  nationality  —  we  honor 
such." 

December  9.  Wellington.  Ten  hours  from  Wanganui  by 
the  Fly. 

December  12.  It  is  a  fine  city  and  nobly  situated.  A  bus}r 
place,  and  full  of  life  and  movement.  Have  spent  the  three 
days  partly  in  walking  about,  partly  in  enjoying  social  privi- 
leges, and  largely  in  idling  around  the  magnificent  garden  at 
Hutt,  a  little  distance  away,  around  the  shore.  I  suppose  we 
shall  not  see  such  another  one  soon. 

We  are  packing  to-night  for  the  return-voyage  to  Australia. 
Our  stay  in  New  Zealand  has  been  too  brief ;  still,  we  are  not 
unthankful  for  the  glimpse  which  we  have  had  of  it. 

The  sturdy  Maoris  made  the  settlement  of  the  country  bv 
the  whites  rather  difficult.  Not  at  first — but  later.  At  first 
they  welcomed  the  whites,  and  were  eager  to  trade  with  them 


WAR   AS    A  PASTIME.  323 

-particularly  for  muskets;  for  their  pastime  was  internecine 
war,  and  they  greatly  preferred  the  white  man's  weapi  >ns  to  their 
own.  War  was  their  pastime  --  I  use  the  word  advisedly.  They 
often  met  and  slaughtered  each  other  just  for  a  lark,  and  when 
there  was  no  quarrel.  The  author  of  ''Old  New  Zealand" 
mentions  a  case  where  a  victorious  army  could  have  followed 
up  its  advantage  and  exterminated  the  opposing  army,  but 
declined  to  do  it ;  explaining  naively  that  "  if  we  did  that, 
there  couldn't  be  any  more  fighting."  In  another  battle  one 
army  sent  word  that  it  was  out  of  ammunition,  and  would  be 
obliged  to  stop  unless  the  opposing  army  would  send  some. 
It  was  sent,  and  the  fight  went  on. 

In  the  early  days  things  went  well  enough.  The  natives 
sold  land  without  clearly  understanding  the  terms  of  exchange, 
and  the  whites  bought  it  without  being  much  disturbed  about 
the  native's  confusion  of  mind.  But  by  and  by  the  Maori 
began  to  comprehend  that  he  was  being  wronged ;  then  there 
was  trouble,  for  he  was  not  the  man  to  swallow  a  wrong  and 
go  aside  and  cry  about  it.  He  had  the  Tasmanian's  spirit  and 
endurance,  and  a  notable  share  of  military  science  besides ; 
and  so  he  rose  against  the  oppressor,  did  this  gallant  "  fanatic," 
and  started  a  war  that  was  not  brought  to  a  definite  end  until 
more  than  a  generation  had  sped. 


CHAPTER    XXXVI. 

There   are   several    good   protections   against    temptations,    but    the    surest   ii 
cowardice. —  Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

Names  are  not  always  what  they  seem      The  common  Welsh  name  Bzjxxllwen 
is  pronounced  Jackson. — Pudd'nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

r  RID  AY,  1><  c<  tl,h<  r  IS.  Sailed,  at  3  p.  m.,  in  the  Mararoa. 
Summer  seas  and  a  good  ship  —  life  has  nothing  better. 
Monday.  Three  days  of  paradise.  Warm  and 
sunny  and  smooth  ;  the  sea  a  luminous  Mediterranean  blue.  .  .  . 
One  lolls  in  a  long  chair  all  day  under  deck-awnings,  and  reads 
and  smokes,  in  measureless  content.  One  does  not  read  prose 
at  such  a  time,  but  poetry.  I  have  been  reading  the  poems  of 
Mrs.  Julia  A.  Moore,  again,  and  I  find  in  them  the  same  grace 
and  melody  that  attracted  me  when  they  were  first  published, 
twenty  years  ago,  and  have  held  me  in  happy  bonds  ever  since. 
"  The  Sentimental  Song  Book "  has  long  been  out  of  print, 
and  has  been  forgotten  by  the  world  in  general,  but  not  by  me. 
I  carry  it  with  me  always  —  it  and  Goldsmith's  deathless  story. 
.  .  .  Indeed,  it  has  the  same  deep  charm  for  me  that  the 
Vicar  of  Wakefield  has,  and  I  find  in  it  the  same  subtle  touch 
—  the  touch  that  makes  an  intentionally  humorous  episode 
pathetic  and  an  intentionally  pathetic  one  funny.  In  her  time 
Mrs.  Moore  was  called  "  the  Sweet  Singer  of  Michigan,"  and 
was  best  known  by  that  name.  I  have  read  her  book  throimh 
twice  to-day,  with  the  purpose  of  determining  which  of  her 
pieces  has  most  merit,  and  I  am  persuaded  that  for  wide 
grasp   and   sustained   power,    ''William   Upson"    may    claim 

first  place  : 

(324) 


THE  SWEET   SINGER'S  BEST  EFFORT.  325 

WILLIAM  UPSON. 

Air—"  The  Major's  Only  Son." 

Come  all  good  people  far  and  near. 
Oh,  come  and  see  what  you  can  hear, 
It's  of  a  young  man  true  and  brave, 
That  is  now  sleeping  in  his  grave. 

Now,  William  Upson  was  his  name  — 
If  it's  not  that,  it's  all  the  same  — 
He  did  enlist  in  a  cruel  strife, 
And  it  caused  him  to  lose  his  life. 

He  was  Perry  Upson's  eldest  son, 
His  father  loved  his  noble  son, 
This  son  was  nineteen  years  of  age 
When  first  in  the  rebellion  he  engaged. 

His  father  said  that  he  might  go, 

But  his  dear  mother  she  said  no, 

"  Oh  !  stay  at  home,  dear  Billy,"  she  said 

But  she  could  not  turn  his  head. 

He  went  to  Nashville,  in  Tennessee, 
There  his  kind  friends  he  could  not  see  ; 
He  died  among  strangers,  so  far  away, 
They  did  not  know  where  his  body  lay. 

He  was  taken  sick  and  lived  four  week:-, 
And  Oh  !  how  his  parents  weep, 
But  now  they  must  in  sorrow  mourn. 
For  Billy  has  gone  to  his  heavenly  home. 

Oh  !  if  his  mother  could  have  seen  her  son. 

For  she  loved  him,  her  darling  son  ; 

If  she  could  heard  his  dying  prayer. 

It  would  ease  her  heart  till  she  met  him  there 

How  it  would  relieve  his  mother's  heart 
To  see  her  son  from  this  world  depart, 
And  hear  his  noble  words  of  love, 
As  he  left  this  world  for  that  above. 

Now  it  will  relieve  his  mother's  heart, 
For  her  son  is  laid  in  our  graveyard  ; 
For  now  she  knows  that  his  grave  is  near. 
She  will  not  shed  so  many  tears. 

Although  she  knows  not  that  it  was  her  son. 
For  his  coffin  could  not  be  opened  — 
It  might  be  someone  in  his  place. 
For  she  could  not  see  his  noble  face. 


326  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

December  17.     Reached  Sydney. 

December  19.  In  the  train.  Fellow  of  30  with  four  valises ; 
a  slim  creature,  with  teeth  which  made  his  mouth  look  like  a 
neglected  churchyard,  lie  had  solidified  hair  —  solidified  with 
pomatum;  it  was  all  one  shell.  He  smoked  the  most  extraor- 
dinary cigarettes  — made  of  some  kind  of  manure,  apparently. 
These  and  his  hair  made  him  smell  like  the  very  nation.  He 
had  a  low-cut  vest  on,  which  exposed  a  deal  of  frayed  and 
broken  and  unclean  shirt-front.  Showy  studs,  of  imitation 
gold-- they  had  made  black  disks  on  the  linen.  Oversized 
sleeve  buttons  of  imitation  gold,  the  copper  base  showing 
through.  Ponderous  watch-chain  of  imitation  gold.  I  judge 
that  he  couldn't  tell  the  time  by  it,  for  he  asked  Smythe  what 
time  it  was,  once.  He  wore  a  coat  which  had  been  gay  when 
it  was  young ;  5-o' clock-tea-trousers  of  a  light  tint,  and  mar- 
velously  soiled  ;  yellow  mustache  with  a  dashing  upward  whirl 
at  the  ends ;  foxy  shoes,  imitation  patent  leather.  He  was  a 
novelty  —  an  imitation  dude.  He  would  have  been  a  real  one 
if  he  could  have  afforded  it.  But  he  was  satisfied  with  him- 
self. You  could  see  it  in  his  expression,  and  in  all  his  atti- 
tudes and  movements.  He  was  living  in  a  dude  dreamland 
where  all  his  squalid  shams  were  genuine,  and  himself  a  sin- 
cerity. It  disarmed  criticism,  it  mollified  spite,  to  see  him  so 
enjoy  his  imitation  languors,  and  arts,  and  airs,  and  his  studied 
daintinesses  of  gesture  and  misbegotten  refinements.  It  was 
plain  to  me  that  he  was  imagining  himself  the  Prince  of  "Wales, 
and  was  doing;  everything  the  way  he  thought  the  Prince 
would  do  it.  For  bringing  his  four  valises  aboard  and  stow- 
ing them  in  the  nettings,  he  gave  his  porter  four  cents,  and 
lightly  apologized  for  the  smallness  of  the  gratuity  —  just  with 
the  condescendingest  little  royal  air  in  the  world.  He 
stretched  himself  out  on  the  front  seat  and  rested  his  poma- 
tum-cake on  the  middle  arm,  and  stuck  his  feet  out  of  the  win- 


THE   IMITATION   DUDE. 


327 


clow,  and  began  to  pose  as  the  Prince  and  work  his  dreams  and 
languors  for  exhibition ;  and  he  would  indolently  watch  the 
blue  films  curling  up  from  his  cigarette,  and  inhale  the  stench, 
and  look  so  grateful ;  and  would  flip  the  ash  away  with  the 
daintiest  gesture,  unintentionally  displaying  his  brass  ring  in 
the  most  intentional  way ;  why,  it  was  as  good  as  being  in 
Marlborough  House  itself  to  see  him  do  it  so  like. 

There  was  other 
scenery  in  the  trip. 
That  of  the  Hawks- 
bury  river,  in  the  Na- 
tional Park  region, 
fine  —  extraordinarily 
fine,  with  spacious 
views  of  stream  and 
lake  imposingly 
framed  in  woody  hills  ; 
and  every  now  and 
then  the  noblest  group- 
ings of  mountains,  and 
the  most  enchanting 
re-arrano-ements  of  the 


SO   LIKE    THE    PRINCE. 


water  effects.  Further  along,  green  flats,  thinly  covered  with 
gum  forests,  with  here  and  there  the  huts  and  cabins  of  small 
farmers  engaged  in  raising  children.  Still  further  along,  arid 
stretches,  lifeless  and  melancholy.  Then  Newcastle,  a  rushing 
town,  capital  of  the  rich  coal  regions.  Approaching  Scone, 
wide  farming  and  grazing  levels,  with  pretty  frequent  glimpses 
of  a  troublesome  plant  —  a  particularly  devilish  little  prickly 
pear,  daily  damned  in  the  orisons  of  the  agriculturist ;  imported 
by  a  lady  of  sentiment,  and  contributed  gratis  to  the  colony. 
.     .     .     Blazing  hot,  all  day. 


December  W.     Back  to  Sydney. 


Blazing  hot  again. 


From 


328 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


the  newspaper,  and  from  the  map,  I  have  made  a  collection  of 
curious  names  of  Australasian  towns,  with  the  idea  of  making 
a  poem  out  of  them  : 


Tumut 

Takee 

Murriwillumba 

Bowral 

Ballarat 

Mullengudgery 

Murrurundi 

Wagga-Wagga 

Wyalong 

Murrumbidgcc 

Goomeroo 

Wolloway 

W angary 

Wanilla 

Worrow 

Koppio 

Yankalilla 

Yaranyacka 

Yackamobrundie 

Kaiwaka 

Coomooroo 

Tauranga 

Geelong 

Tongariro 

Kaikoura 

Wakatipu 

Oohipara 


Waitpinga 

Goelwa 

Munno  Para 

Nangkita 

Myponga 

Kapunda 

Kooringa 

Peuola 

Nangwarry 

Kongorong 

Comaum 

Koolywurtie 

Killanoola 

Naracoorte 

Muloowurtic 

Binnum 

Wallaroo 

Wirrega 

Mundoora 

Hauraki 

Rangiriri 

Tea  w  a  mute 

Taranaki 

Toowoomba 

Goondiwindi 

Jerrilderie 

Whangaroa 


"Wollongong 

Woolloomooloo 

Bombola 

Coolgardie 

Bendigo 

Coouamble 

Cootamundra 

Woolgoolga 

Mittagong 

Jamberoo 

Kondoparinga 

Kuitpo 

Tungkillo 

Oukaparinga 

Talunga 

Yatala 

Parawirra 

Moorooroo 

Wkangarei 

Woolundunga 

Booleroo 

Pernatty 

Parramatta 

Taroom 

Narrandera 

Deniliquin 

Kawakawa. 


It   may  be   best   to  build  the  poem    now,  and  make  the 
weather  help : 


A  SWELTERING  DAY  IN  AUSTRALIA. 

(To  be  read  soft  and  low,  with  the  lights  turned  down.) 

The  Bombola  faints  in  the  hot  Bowral  tree, 
Where  fierce  Mullengudgery's  smothering  fires 

Far  from  the  breezes  of  Coolgardie 

Burn  ghastly  and  blue  as  the  day  expires  ; 

And  Murriwillumba  complaineth in  song 
For  the  garlanded  bowers  of  Woolloomooloo. 

And  the  Ballarat  Fly  and  the  lone  Wollongong 
They  dream  of  the  gardens  of  Jamberoo  ; 


TOWN    POETRY.  329 

The  wallabi  sighs  for  the  Murrubid^ee, 

For  the  velvety  sod  of  the  Munno  Para/i, 
Where  the  waters  of  healing  from  Muloowurto'e 

Flow  dim  in  the  gloaming  by  Yaranyac&afi  ; 

The  Koppio  sorrows  for  losl  Wolloway, 

Ami  sigheth  in  secret  for  Murruruntfe', 
The  Whangeroo  wombat  lamenteth  the  day 

That  made  him  an  exile  from  Jerrilder«'<  : 

The  Teawamute  Tumut  from  Virrega's  glade 

The  Nangkita  swallow,  the  Wallaroo  swan, 
They  long  for  the  peace  of  the  Timaru  shade 

And  thy  balmy  soft  airs,  O  sweet  Mittagong  1 

The  Kooringa  buffalo  pants  in  the  sun. 

The  Kondoparinga  lies  gaping  for  breath, 
The  Kongorong  Camaum  to  the  shadow  has  won. 

But  the  Goomeroo  sinks  in  the  slumber  of  death  ; 

In  the  weltering  hell  of  the  Moorooroo  plain 

The  Yatala  Wangary  withers  and  dies, 
And  the  Worrow  Wanilla,  demented  with  pain. 

To  the  Woolgoolga  woodlands  despairingly  flies  ; 

Sweet  Nangwarry's  desolate,  Coonamble  wails. 

And  Tungkillo  Kuito  in  sables  is  drest, 
For  the  Whangerei  winds  fall  asleep  in  the  sails 

And  the  Booleroo  life-breeze  is  dead  in  the  west. 

Mypongo,  Kapunda,  O  slumber  no  more  ! 
Yankalilla,  Parawirra,  be  warned  ! 

There's  death  in  the  air  !     Killanoola,  wherefore 
Shall  the  prayer  of  Penola  be  scorned  ? 

Cootamundra,  and  Takee.  and  Wakatipu, 

Toowoomba,  Kaikoura  are  lost  ! 
From  Onkaparinga  to  far  Oamaru 

All  burn  in  this  hell's  holocaust  ! 

Paramatta  and  Binnum  are  gone  to  their  rest 

In  the  vale  of  Tapanni  Taroom, 
Kawakawa,  Deniliquin  —  all  that  was  best 

In  the  earth  are  but  graves  and  a  tomb  ! 

Narrandera  mourns,  Cameroo  answers  not 

When  the  roll  of  the  scathless  we  cry  : 
Tongariro,  Goondiwindi,  Woolundunga.  the  spot 

Is  mute  and  forlorn  where  ye  lie. 

Those  are  good  words  for  poetry.     Among  the  best  I  have 
ever  seen.     There  are  SI  in  the  list.     I  did  not  need  them  all, 


33U 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


but  I  have  knocked  down  66  of  them  ;  which  is  a  good  bag,  it 
seems  to  me,  for  a  person  not  in  the  business.  Perhaps  a  poet 
laureate  could  do  better,  but  a  poet  laureate  gets  wages,  and 
that  is  different.  When  I  write  poetry  I  do  not  get  any  wages ; 
often  I  lose  money  by  it.  The  best  word  in  that  list,  and  the 
most  musical  and  gurgiy,  is  AVoolloomoolloo.  It  is  a  place 
near  Sydney,  and  is  a  favorite  pleasure-resort.  It  has  eight 
O's  in  it. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

To  succeed  in  the  other  trades,  capacity  must  be  shown  ;  in  the  law,  conceal1 
ment  of  it  will  do. —  PudcFnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

*   A  OXDAY,  December  2-3,  1895.    Sailed  from  Sydney  for 
I        \      Ceylon  in  the  P.  &  O.  steamer  Oceana.     A  Lascar 

*  *■  crew  mans  this  ship — the  first  I  have  seen.  White 
cotton  petticoat  and  pants;  barefoot;  red  shawl  for  belt; 
straw  cap,  brimless,  on  head,  with  red  scarf  wound  around  it ; 
complexion  a  rich  dark  brown  ;  short  straight  black  hair ; 
whiskers  tine  and  silky  ;  lustrous  and  intensely  black.  Mild, 
good  faces;  willing  and  obedient  people;  capable,  too;  but 
are  said  to  go  into  hopeless  panics  when  there  is  danger.  They 
are  from  Bombay  and  the  coast  thereabouts.  .  .  .  Left 
some  of  the  trunks  in  Sydney,  to  be  shipped  to  South  Africa 
by  a  vessel  advertised  to  sail  three  months  hence.  The  proverb 
says :  "  Separate  not  yourself  from  your  baggage." 
This  Oceana  is  a  stately  big  ship,  luxuriously  appointed.  She 
has  spacious  promenade  decks.  Large  rooms ;  a  surpassingly 
comfortable  ship.  The  officers'  library  is  well  selected  ;  a 
ship's  library  is  not  usually  that.  .  .  .  For  meals,  the  bugle 
call,  man-of-war  fashion  ;  a  pleasant  change  from  the  terrible 
gong.  .  .  .  Three  big  cats  —  very  friendly  loafers;  they 
wander  all  over  the  ship  ;  the  white  one  follows  the  chief  steward 
around  like  a  dog.  There  is  also  a  basket  of  kittens.  One  of 
these  cats  goes  ashore,  in  port,  in  England,  Australia,  and 
India,  to  see  how  his  various  families  are  getting  along,  and  is 
seen  no  more  till  the  ship  is  ready  to  sail.  Xo  one  knows  how 
he  finds  out  the  sailing  date,  but  no  doubt  he  comes  down  to 

(331) 


.",32 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


the  dock  every  day  and  takes  a  look,  and  when  he  sees  bag- 
gage and  passengers  Hocking  in,  recognizes  that  it  is  time  to 
get  aboard.  This  is  what  the  sailors  believe.  .  .  .  The 
Chief  Engineer  has  been  in  the  China  and  India  trade  thirty- 
three  years,  and  has  had  but  three  Christmases  at  home  in  that 
time.  .  .  .  Conversational  items  at  dinner ,  "  Mocha !  sold 
all  over  the  world  !     It  is  not  true.     In  fact,  very  few  foreigners 


WHAT   THE   SAILORS   BELIEVE. 


except  the  Emperor  of  Russia  have  ever  seen  a  grain  of  it,  or 
ever  will,  while  they  live."  Another  man  said  :  "  There  is  no 
sale  in  Australia  for  Australian  wine.  But  it  goes  to  France 
and  comes  back  with  a  French  label  on  it,  and  then  they  buy 
it."  I  have  heard  that  the  most  of  the  French-labeled  claret 
in  New  York  is  made  in  California.  And  I  remember  what 
Professor  S.  told  me  once  about  Veuve  Cliquot  —  if  that  was 
the  wine,  and  I  think  it  was.  He  was  the  guest  of  a  great  wine 
merchant  whose  town  was  quite  near  that  vineyard,  and  this 
merchant  asked  him  if  very  much  Y.  C.  was  drunk  in 
America. 


DINNER  CONVERSATION.  333 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  S.,  "a  great  abundance  of  it." 

"  Is  it  easy  to  be  had  I" 

"  Oh,  yes  —  easy  as  water.  All  first  and  second-class  hotels 
have  it." 

k-  What  do  you  pay  for  it  \  " 

'•It  depends  on  the  style  of  the  hotel-  from  fifteen  to 
twenty-five  francs  a  bottle." 

"  Oh,  fortunate  country  !  Why,  it's  worth  LOO  francs  right 
here  on  the  ground." 

"  No ! " 

"  Yes ! " 

"  Do  you  mean  that  we  are  drinking  a  bogus  Veuve  Cliquot 
over  there  ? " 

"  Yes  —  and  there  was  never  a  bottle  of  the  genuine  in 
America  since  Columbus's  time.  That  wine  all  comes  from  a 
little  bit  of  a  patch  of  ground  which  isn't  big  enough  to  raise 
many  bottles  ;  and  all  of  it  that  is  produced  goes  every  year 
to  one  person  —  the  Emperor  of  Russia,  lie  takes  the  whole 
crop  in  advance,  be  it  big  or  little.'' 

January  4-,  1896.  Christmas  in  Melbourne,  New  Year's 
Day  in  Adelaide,  and  saw  most  of  the  friends  again  in  both 
places.  .  .  .  Lying  here  at  anchor  all  day  —  Albany  (King 
George's  Sound),  Western  Australia.  It  is  a  perfectly  land- 
locked harbor,  or  roadstead  —  spacious  to  look  at,  but  not  deep 
water.  Desolate-looking  rocks  and  scarred  hills.  Plenty  of 
ships  arriving  now,  rushing  to  the  new  gold-fields.  The  papers 
are  full  of  wonderful  tales  of  the  sort  always  to  be  heard  in 
connection  with  new  gold  diggings.  A  sample  :  a  youth  staked 
out  a  claim  and  tried  to  sell  half  for  £5  ;  no  takers ;  he  stuck 
to  it  fourteen  days,  starving,  then  struck  it  rich  and  sold  out 
for  £10,000.  .  .  .  About  sunset,  strong  breeze  blowing, 
got  up  the  anchor.  We  were  in  a  small  deep  puddle,  with  a 
narrow  channel  leading  out  of  it,  minutely  buoyed,  to  the  sea. 


334  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

I  stayed  on  deck  to  see  bow  we  were  going  to  manage  it  with 
such  a  big  ship  and  such  a  strong  wind.  On  the  bridge  our 
giant  captain,  in  uniform  ;  at  his  side  a  little  pilot  in  elaborately 
gold-laced  uniform ;  on  the  forecastle  a  white  mate  and  quar- 
termaster or  two,  and  a  brilliant  crowd  of  lascars  standing  by 
for  business.  Our  stern  was  pointing  straight  at  the  head  of 
the  channel  ;  so  we  must  turn  entirely  around  in  the  puddle  — 
and  the  wind  blowing  as  described.  It  was  done,  and  beauti- 
fully. It  was  done  by  help  of  a  jib.  We  stirred  up  much 
mud,  but  did  not  touch  the  bottom.  We  turned  right  around 
in  our  tracks  —  a  seeming  impossibility.  We  had  several  casts 
of  quarter-less  5,  and  one  cast  of  half  4 — 27  feet;  we  were 
drawing;  26  astern.  By  the  time  we  were  entirely  around  and 
pointed,  the  first  buoy  was  not  more  than  a  hundred  yards  in 
front  of  us.  It  was  a  fine  piece  of  work,  and  I  was  the  only 
passenger  that  saw  it.  However,  the  others  got  their  dinner; 
the  P.  6z  O.  Company  got  mine.  .  .  .  More  cats  developed. 
Smythe  says  it  is  a  British  law  that  they  must  be  carried  ;  and 
he  instanced  a  case  of  a  ship  not  allowed  to  sail  till  she  sent 
for  a  couple.  The  bill  came,  too  :  "  Debtor,  to  2  cats,  20  shil- 
lings."  .  .  .  Xews  comes  that  within  this  week  Siam  has 
acknowledged  herself  to  be.  in  effect,  a  French  province.  It 
seems  plain  that  all  savage  and  semi-civilized  countries  are 
going  to  be  grabbed.  .  .  .  A  vulture  on  board ;  bald,  red, 
queer-shaped  head,  featherless  red  places  here  and  there  on 
his  body,  intense  great  black  eyes  set  in  featherless  rims  of  in- 
flamed flesh  ;  dissipated  look ;  a  business-like  style,  a  selfish, 
conscienceless,  murderous  aspect --the  very  look  of  a  profes- 
sional assassin,  and  yet  a  bird  which  does  no  murder.  What 
was  the  use  of  getting  him  up  in  that  tragic  style  for  so  inno- 
cent a  trade  as  his  \  For  this  one  isn't  the  sort  that  wars  upon 
the  living1,  his  diet  is  offal  —  and  the  more  out  of  date  it  is  the 
better  he  likes  it.     Nature  should  give  him  a  suit  of  rusty  black ; 


AUSTRALIAN   INDEPENDENCE.  ;;:;;, 

then  he  would  be  all  right,  for  he  would  look  like  an  under- 
taker and  would  harmonize  with  his  business  :  whereas  the  way 
he  is  now  he  is  horribly  out  of  true. 

January  6.  At  9  this  morning  we  passed  Cape  Leeuwin 
(lioness)  and  ceased  from  our  long  due-west  course  along  the 
southern  shore  of  Australia.  Turning  this  extreme  south- 
western corner,  we  now  take  a  lono*  straight  slant  nearly 
IS".  W.,  without  a  break,  for  Ceylon.  As  we  spaed  northward 
it  will  grow  hotter  very  fast  — but  it  isn't  chilly,  now.  .  .  . 
The  yultureis  from  the  public  menagerie  at  Adelaide  —  a  great 
and  interesting  collection.  It  was  there  that  we  saw  the  baby 
tiger  solemnly  spreading  its  mouth  and  trying  to  roar  like  its 
majestic  mother.  It  swaggered,  scowling,  back  and  forth  on 
its  short  legs  just  as  it  had  seen  her  do  on  her  long  ones,  and 
now  and  then  snarling  viciously,  exposing  its  teeth,  with  a 
threatening  lift  of  its  upper  lip  and  bristling  moustache ;  and 
when  it  thought  it  was  impressing  the  visitors,  it  Avould  spread 
its  mouth  wide  and  do  that  screechy  cry  which  it  meant  for  a 
roar,  but  which  did  not  deceiye.  It  took  itself  quite  seriously. 
and  was  lovably  comical.  And  there  was  a  hyena  —  an  usdv 
creature  ;  as  ugly  as  the  tiger-kitty  was  pretty.  It  repeatedly 
arched  its  back  and  delivered  itself  of  such  a  human  cry ;  a 
startling  resemblance;  a  cry  which  was  just  that  of  a  grown 
person  badly  hurt.  In  the  dark  one  would  assuredly  ffo  to  its 
assistance  —  and  be  disappointed.  .  .  .  Many  friends  of 
Australasian  Federation  on  board.  They  feel  sure  that  the  «'ood 
day  is  not  far  off,  now.  But  there  seems  to  be  a  party  that 
would  go  further  —  have  Australasia  cut  loose  from  the  British 
Empire  and  set  up  housekeeping  on  her  own  hook.  It  seems 
an  unwise  idea.  They  point  to  the  United  States,  but  it  seems 
to  me  that  the  cases  lack  a  good  deal  of  being  alike.  Austra- 
lasia governs  herself  wholly  —  there  is  no  interference;  and 
her  commerce  and  manufactures  are  not  oppressed  in  any  way. 


336  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

If  our  case  had  been  the  same  we  should  not  have  gone  out 
when  we  did. 

January  13.  Unspeakably  hot.  The  equator  is  arriving 
again.  We  are  within  eight  degrees  of  it.  Ceylon  present. 
Dear  me,  it  is  beautiful!  And  most  sumptuously  tropical,  as 
to  character  of  foliage  and  opulence  of  it.  k%  What  though  the 
spicy  breezes  blow  soft  o'er  Ceylon's  isle"  -an  eloquent  line,  an 
incomparable  line;  it  says  little,  but  conveys  whole  libraries  of 
sentiment,  and  Oriental  charm  and  mystery,  and  tropic 
deliciousness — a  line  that  quivers  and  tingles  with  a  thousand 
unexpressed  and  inexpressible  things,  things  that  haunt  one 
and  find  no  articulate  voice.  .  .  .  Colombo,  the  capital. 
An  Oriental  town,  most  manifestly  ;  and  fascinating.  .  .  . 
In  this  palatial  ship  the  passengers  dress  for  dinner.  The 
ladies'  toilettes  make  a  fine  display  of  color,  and  this  is  in 
keeping  with  the  elegance  of  the  vessel's  furnishings  and  the 
flooding  brilliancies  of  the  electric  light.  On  the  stormv 
Atlantic  one  never  sees  a  man  in  evening  dress,  except  at  the 
rarest  intervals ;  and  then  there  is  only  one,  not  two  ;  and  he 
shows  up  but  once  on  the  voyage  —  the  night  before  the  ship 
makes  port  —  the  night  when  they  have  the  "concert"  and  do 
the  amateur  wailings  and  recitations.  He  is  the  tenor,  as  a 
rule.  .  .  .  There  has  been  a  deal  of  cricket-playing  on 
board  ;  it  seems  a  queer  game  for  a  ship,  but  they  enclose  the 
promenade  deck  with  nettings  and  keep  the  ball  from  flying 
overboard,  and  the  sport  goes  very  well,  and  is  properly  violent 
and  exciting.     .     .     .     We  must  part  from  this  vessel  here. 

January  1^.  Hotel  Bristol.  Servant  Brompy.  Alert, 
gentle,  smiling,  winning  young  brown  creature  as  ever  was. 
Beautiful  shining  black  hair  combed  back  like  a  woman's,  and 
knotted  at  the  back  of  his  head-- tortoise-shell  comb  in  it, 
sign  that  he  is  a  Singhalese;  slender,  shapely  form;  jacket; 
under  it  is  a  beltless  and  flowing-  white  cotton  o-own —  from 


Pu 

s 

c 

PS 

PC 

E- 
< 

w 

CO 


IN   CEYLON.  339 

neck  straight  to  heel:  he  and  his  outfit  quite  unmasculine.  It 
was  an  embarassment  to  undress  before  him. 

AVe  drove  to  the  market,  using  the  Japanese  jinriksha- 

our  first  acquaintanceship  with  it.  It  is  a  light  cart,  with  a 
native  to  draw  it.  lie  makes  good  speed  for  half-an-hour,  hut 
it  is  hard  work  for  him;  he  is  too  slight  for  it.  After  the 
half-hour  there  is  no  more  pleasure  for  you  :  your  attention  is 
all  on  the  man,  just  as  it  would  he  on  a  tired  horse,  and 
necessarily  your  sympathy  is  there  too.  There's  a  plenty  of 
these  'rickshas,  and  the  tariff  is  incredibly  cheap. 

I  was  in  Cairo  years  ago.  That  was  Oriental,  hut  there 
was  a  lack.  When  you  are  in  Florida  or  New  ( )rleans  you  are 
in  the  South  -that  is  granted  ;  hut  you  are  not  in  tfu  South  ; 
you  are  in  a  modified  South,  a  tempered  South.  Cairo  was 
a  tempered  Orient -- an  Orient  with  an  indefinite  something 
wanting.  That  feeling  was  not  present  in  Ceylon.  Oevlon 
was  Oriental  in  the  last  measure  of  completeness  —  utterly 
Oriental:  also  utterly  tropical ;  and  indeed  to  one's  unreason- 
ing spiritual  sense  the  two  things  belong  together.  All  the 
requisites  were  present.  The  costumes  were  right ;  the  black 
and  brown  exposures,  unconscious  of  immodesty,  were  right ; 
the  juggler  was  there,  with  his  basket,  his  snakes,  his  mon- 
goose, and  his  arrangements  for  growing  a  tree  from  seed  to 
foliage  and  ripe  fruitage  before  one's  eyes  ;  in  sight  were  plants 
and  flowers  familiar  to  one  on  books  but  in  no  other  way  - 
celebrated,  desirable,  strange,  but  in  production  restricted  to 
the  hot  belt  of  the  equator;  and  out  a  little  way  in  the  country 
were  the  proper  deadly  snakes,  and  fierce  beasts  of  prey,  ami 
the  wild  elephant  and  the  monkey.  And  there  was  that  swoon 
in  the  air  which  one  associates  with  the  tropics,  and  that 
smother  of  heat,  heavy  with  odors  of  unknown  flowers,  and 
that  sudden  invasion  of  purple  gloom  fissured  with  lightnings, 
■ — then  the  tumult  of  crashing  thunder  and  t he  downpour- 


340  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  presently  all  sunny  and  smiling  again ;  all  these  things 
were  there ;  the  conditions  were  complete,  nothing  was  lack- 
ing. And  away  off  in  the  deeps  of  the  jungle  and  in  the  re- 
motenesses of  the  mountains  were  the  ruined  cities  and 
mouldering  temples,  mysterious  relics  of  the  pomps  of  a  for- 
gotten time  and  a  vanished  race  —  and  this  was  as  it  should  be, 
also,  for  nothing  is  quite  satisfy  ingly  Oriental  that  lacks  the 
somber  and  impressive  qualities  of  mystery  and  antiquity. 

The  drive  through  the  town  and  out  to  the  Galle  Face  by 
the  seashore,  what  a  dream  it  was  of  tropical  splendors  of 
bloom  and  blossom,  and  Oriental  conflagrations  of  costume ! 
The  walking  groups  of  men,  women,  boys,  girls,  babies  —  each 
individual  was  a  flame,  each  group  a  house  afire  for  color. 
And  such  stunning  colors,  such  intensely  vivid  colors,  such  rich 
and  exquisite  minglings  and  fusings  of  rainbows  and  light- 
nings !  And  all  harmonious,  all  in  perfect  taste ;  never  a  dis- 
cordant note  ;  never  a  color  on  any  person  swearing  at  another 
color  on  him  or  failing  to  harmonize  faultlessly  with  the  colors 
of  any  group  the  wearer  might  join.  The  stuffs  were  silk  - 
thin,  soft,  delicate,  clinging ;  and,  as  a  rule,  each  piece  a  solid 
color :  a  splendid  green,  a  splendid  blue,  a  splendid  yellow,  a 
splendid  purple,  a  splendid  ruby,  deep,  and  rich  with  smoulder- 
ing fires  —  they  swept  continuously  by  in  crowds  and  legions 
and  multitudes,  glowing,  flashing,  burning,  radiant ;  and  every 
five  seconds  came  a  burst  of  blinding  red  that  made  a  body 
catch  his  breath,  and  filled  his  heart  with  joy.  And  then,  the 
unimaginable  grace  of  those  costumes  !  Sometimes  a  woman's 
whole  dress  was  but  a  scarf  wound  about  her  person  and  her 
head,  sometimes  a  man's  was  but  a  turban  and  a  careless  rag 
or  two  —  in  both  cases  generous  areas  of  polished  dark  skin 
showing  —  but  always  the  arrangement  compelled  the  homage 
of  the  eye  and  made  the  heart  sing  for  gladness. 

I  can  see  it  to  this  day,  that  radiant  panorama,  that  wilder- 


TWttAS  Tor, AKTy 

ABUSED  CREATURES. 


THE    INSINCERITY   OF   CLOTHES.  :;4;j 

ness  of  rich  color,  that  incomparable  dissolving- view  of 
harmonious  tints,  and  lithe  half-covered  forms,  and  beautiful 
brown  faces,  and  gracious  and  graceful  gestures  and  attitudes 
and  movements,  free,  unstudied,  barren  of  stiffness  and 
restraint,  and  — 

Just  then,  into  this  dream  of  fairyland  and  paradise  a  grat- 
ing dissonance  was  injected.  Out  of  a  missionary  school  came 
marching,  two  and  two,  sixteen  prim  and  pious  little  Christian 
black  girls,  Europeanly  clothed--  dressed,  to  the  last  detail,  as 
they  would  have  been  dressed  on  a  summer  Sunday  in  an 
English  or  American  village.  Those  clothes  —  oh,  they  were 
unspeakably  ugly  !  Ugly,  barbarous,  destitute  of  taste,  desti- 
tute of  grace,  repulsive  as  a  shroud.  I  looked  at  my  women- 
folk's clothes  —  just  full-grown  duplicates  of  the  outrages 
disguising  those  poor  little  abused  creatures  -and  was 
ashamed  to  be  seen  in  the  street  with  them.  Then  I  looked  at 
my  own  clothes,  and  was  ashamed  to  be  seen  in  the  street 
with  myself. 

However,  we  must  put  up  with  our  clothes  as  they  are - 
they  have  their  reason  for  existing.  They  are  on  us  to  expose 
us — to  advertise  what  we  wear  them  to  conceal.  They  are  a 
sign;  a  sign  of  insincerity;  a  sign  of  suppressed  vanity;  a 
pretense  that  we  despise  gorgeous  colors  and  the  graces  of 
harmony  and  form;  and  we  put  them  on  to  propagate  that  lie 
and  back  it  up.  But  Ave  do  not  deceive  our  neighbor ;  and 
when  we  step  into  Ceylon  we  realize  that  we  have  not  even 
deceived  ourselves.  We  do  love  brilliant  colors  and  graceful 
costumes;  and  at  home  we  will  turn  out  in  a  storm  to  see 
them  when  the  procession  goes  by  —  and  envy  the  wearers. 
AVe  go  to  the  theater  to  look  at  them  and  grieve  that  we  can't 
be  clothed  like  that.  We  go  to  the  King's  ball,  when  we  get  a 
chance,  and  are  glad  of  a  sight  of  the  splendid  uniforms  and 
the  glittering  orders.      When  we  are  granted    permission  to 


344 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


attend  an  imperial  drawing-room  we  shut  ourselves  up  in 
private  and  parade  around  in  the  theatrical  court-dress  by  the 
hour,  and  admire  ourselves  in  the  glass,  and  are  utterly  happy  ; 
and  every  member  of  every  governor's  staff  in  democratic 
America  does  the  same  with  his  grand  new  uniform  —  and  if 
he  is  not  watched  he  will  get  himself  photographed  in  it,  too. 
When  I  see  the  Lord  Mayor's  footman  I  am  dissatisfied  with 
my  lot.  Yes,  our  clothes  are  a  lie,  and  have  been  nothing 
short  of  that  these  hundred  years.  They  are  insincere,  they 
are  the  ugly  and  appropriate  outward  exposure  of  an  inward 
sham  and  a  moral  decay. 

The  last  little  brown  boy  I  chanced  to  notice  in  the  crowds 
and  swarms  of  Colombo  had  nothing  on  but  a  twine  string 
around  his  waist,  but  in  my  memory  the  frank  honesty  of  his 
costume  still  stands  out  in  pleasant  contrast  with  the  odious 
flummery  in  which  the  little  Sunday-school  dowdies  were 
masquerading. 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

Prosperity  is  the  best  protector  of  principle. —  Pudd'nJiead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

EVENING  —  Uth.  Sailed  in  the  Rosetta.  This  is  a 
poor  old  ship,  and  ought  to  be  insured  and  sunk.  As 
in  the  Ocecma,  just  so  here:  everybody  dresses  for 
dinner ;  they  make  it  a  sort  of  pious  duty.  These  fine  and 
formal  costumes  are  a  rather  conspicuous  contrast  to  the 
poverty  and  shabbiness  of  the  surroundings.  ...  If  you 
want  a  slice  of  a  lime  at  four  o'clock  tea,  you  must  sign  an 
order  on  the  bar.     Limes  cost  14  cents  a  barrel. 

Jan 'in I'll  18th.  We  have  been  running  up  the  Arabian 
Sea,  latterly.  Closing  up  on  Bombay  now,  and  due  to  arrive 
this  evening. 

Jcmuary  20th.  Bombay!  A  bewitching  place,  a  bewil- 
dering place,  an  enchanting  place — the  Arabian  Nights  come 
ao-ain!  It  is  a  vast  city;  contains  about  a  million  inhabitants. 
Natives,  they  are,  with  a  slight  sprinkling  of  white  people  - 
not  enough  to  have  the  slightest  modifying  effect  upon  the 
massed  dark  complexion  of  the  public.  It  is  winter  here,  yet 
the  weather  is  the  divine  weather  of  June,  and  the  foliage  is  the 
fresh  and  heavenly  foliage  of  June.  There  is  a  rank  of  noble 
great  shade  trees  across  the  way  from  the  hotel,  and  under 
them  sit  groups  of  picturesque  natives  of  both  sexes  ;  and  the 
juggler  in  his  turban  is  there  with  his  snakes  and  his  magic ; 
and  all  day  long  the  cabs  and  the  multitudinous  varieties  of 
costumes  flock  by.  It  does  not  seem  as  if  one  could  ever  gel 
tired  of  watching  this  moving  show,  this  shining  and  shifting 
spectacle.     ...     In  the  great  bazar  the  pack  and  jam  of 

,  345  i 


346  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

natives  was  marvelous,  the  sea  of  rich-colored  turbans  and 
draperies  an  inspiring  sight,  and  the  quaint  and  showy  Indian 
architecture  was  just  the  right  setting  for  it.  Toward  sunset 
another  show ;  this  is  the  drive  around  the  sea-shore  to  Mala- 
bar Point,  where  Lord  Sandhurst,  the  Governor  of  the  Bora- 
bay  Presidency,  lives.  Parsee  palaces  all  along  the  first  part 
of  the  drive :  and  past  them  all  the  world  is  driving ;  the 
private  carriages  of  wealthy  Englishmen  and  natives  of  rank 
are  manned  by  a  driver  and  three  footmen  in  stunning  oriental 
liveries — two  of  these  turbaned  statues  standing  up  behind,  as 
line  as  monuments.  Sometimes  even  the  public  carriages 
have  this  superabundant  crew,  slightly  modified — one  to 
drive,  one  to  sit  by  and  see  it  done,  and  one  to  stand  up 
behind  and  yell --yell  when  there  is  anybody  in  the  way,  and 
for  practice  when  there  isn't.  It  all  helps  to  keep  up  the  live- 
liness and  augment  the  general  sense  of  swiftness  and  energy 
and  confusion  and  pow-wow. 

In  the  region  of  Scandal  Point  —  felicitous  name — where 
there  are  handy  rocks  to  sit  on  and  a  noble  view  of  the  sea  on 
the  one  hand,  and  on  the  other  the  passing  and  repassing 
whirl  and  tumult  of  gay  carriages,  are  great  groups  of  comfort- 
ablv-off  Parsee  women — perfect  flower-beds  of  brilliant  color, 
a  fascinating  spectacle.  Tramp,  tramp,  tramping  along  the 
road,  in  singles,  couples,  groups,  and  gangs,  you  have  the 
working-man  and  the  working-woman  —  but  not  clothed  like 
ours.  Usually  the  man  is  a  nobly-built  great  athlete,  with  not 
a  rag  on  but  his  loin-handkerchief ;  his  color  a  dee])  dark 
brown,  his  skin  satin,  his  rounded  muscles  knobbing  it  as  if  it 
had  eggs  under  it.  Usually  the  woman  is  a  slender  and 
shapely  creature,  as  ereet  as  a  lightning-rod.  and  she  has  but 
one  thing  on — a  bright-colored  piece  of  stuff  which  is  wound 
about  her  head  and  her  body  down  nearly  half-way  to  her 
knees,  and  which  clings  like  her  own  skin.    Her  legs  and  feel 


SCENES    IX   BOMBAY. 


:547 


are  bare,  and  so  are  her  arms,  except  for  her  fanciful  bunches 
of  loose  silver  rings  on  her  ankles  and  on  her  arms.  She  has 
jewelry  bunched  on  the  side  of  her  nose  also,  and  showy 
cluster-rings  on  her  toes.  When  she  undresses  for  bed  she 
takes  off  her  jewelry.  I  suppose.  If  she  took  off  anything 
more  she  would  catch  cold.  As  a  rule  she  has  a  large  shiney 
1  >rass  water-jar  of  graceful 
shape  on  her  head,  and 
one  of  her  naked  arms 
curves  up  and  the  hand 
holds  it  there.  She  is  so 
straight,  so  erect,  and  she 
steps  with  such  style,  and 
such  easy  grace  and  dig- 
nity ;  and  her  curved  arm 
and  her  brazen  jar  are 
such  a  help  to  the  picture 
—  indeed,  our  working- 
women  cannot  begin  with 
her  as  a  road-decoration. 

It  is  all  color,  bewitch- 
ing color,  e  n  c  h  a  n  t  i  n  g 
color  —  everywhere  —  all 
around  —  all  the  way 
around  the  curving  great 
opaline  bay  clear  to  Government  House,  where  the  turbaned 
big  native  eh  uprassies  stand  grouped  in  state  at  the  door  in 
their  robes  of  fiery  red,  and  do  most  properly  and  stunningly 
finish  up  the  splendid  show  and  make  it  theatrically  complete. 
I  wish  I  were  a  chuprassv. 

This  is  indeed  India  !  the  land  of  dreams  and  romance,  of 
fabulous  wealth  and  fabulous  poverty,  of  splendor  and  rags, 
of  palaces  and  hovels,  of  famine  and  pestilence,  of  genii  and 


A    ROAD-DECORATION. 


348  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

giants  and  Aladdin  lamps,  of  tigers  and  elephants,  the  cobra 
and  the  jungle,  the  country  of  a  hundred  nations  and  a 
hundred  tongues,  of  a  thousand  religions  and  two  million  gods, 
cradle  of  the  human  race,  birthplace  of  human  speech,  mother 
of  history,  grandmother  of  legend,  great-grandmother  of 
tradition,  whose  yesterdays  bear  date  with  the  mouldering 
antiquities  of  the  rest  of  the  nations  —  the  one  sole  country 
under  the  sun  that  is  endowed  with  an  imperishable  interest 
for  alien  prince  and  alien  peasant,  for  lettered  and  ignorant, 
wise  and  fool,  rich  and  poor,  bond  and  free,  the  one  land  that 
all  men  desire  to  see,  and  having  seen  once,  by  even  a  glimpse, 
would  not  give  that  glimpse  for  the  shows  of  all  the  rest  of 
the  o-lobe  combined. 

O 

Even  now,  after  the  lapse  of  a  year,  the  delirium  of  those 
days  in  Bombay  has  not  left  me,  and  I  hope  never  will.  It 
was  all  new,  no  detail  of  it  hackneyed.  And  India  did  not 
wait  for  morning,  it  began  at  the  hotel  — straight  away.  The 
lobbies  and  halls  were  full  of  turbaned,  and  fez'd  and  em- 
broidered, cap'd,  and  barefooted,  and  cotton-clad  dark  natives, 
some  of  them  rushing  about,  others  at  rest  squatting,  or 
sitting  on  the  ground  ;  some  of  them  chattering  with  energy, 
others  still  and  dreamy  ;  in  the  dining-room  every  man's  own 
private  native  servant  standing  behind  his  chair,  and  dressed 
for  a  part  in  the  Arabian  Xights. 

Our  rooms  were  high  up,  on  the  front.  A  white  man  — 
he  was  a  burly  German  --  went  up  with  us,  and  brought  three 
natives  along  to  see  to  arranging  things.  About  fourteen  others 
followed  in  procession,  with  the  hand-baggage ;  each  carried 
an  article  —  and  only  one  ;  a  bag,  in  some  cases,  in  other  cases 
less.  One  strong  native  carried  my  overcoat,  another  a  parasol, 
another  a  box  of  cigars,  another  a  novel,  and  the  last  man  in 
the  procession  had  no  load  but  a  fan.  It  was  all  done  with 
earnestness  and  sincerity,  there  was  not  a  smile  in  the  pro- 


■ 


FOURTEEN    FOLLOWED. 


SERVANTS   GALORE.  ;',;,! 

cession  from  the  bead  of  it  to  the  tail  of  it.  Each  man  waited 
patiently,  tranquilly,  in  no  sort  of  hurry,  till  one  of  us  found 
time  to  give  him  a  copper,  then  he  bent  his  head  reverently, 
touched  his  forehead  with  his  fingers,  and  went  his  way.  They 
seemed  a  soft  and  gentle  race,  and  there  was  something  both 
winning  and  touching  about  their  demeanor. 

There  was  a  vast  glazed  door  which  opened  upon  the 
balcony.  It  needed  closing,  or  cleaning,  or  something,  and  a 
native  got  down  on  his  knees  and  went  to  work  at  it.  He 
seemed  to  be  doing  it  well  enough,  but  perhaps  he  wasn't,  for 
the  burly  German  put  on  a  look  that  betrayed  dissatisfaction, 
then  without  explaining  what  was  wrong,  gave  the  native  a 
brisk  cuff  on  the  jaw  and  then  told  him  where  the  defect  was. 
It  seemed  such  a  shame  to  do  that  before  us  all.  The  native 
took  it  with  meekness,  saying  nothing,  and  not  showing  in  his 
face  or  manner  any  resentment.  I  had  not  seen  the  like  of 
this  for  fifty  years.  It  carried  me  back  to  my  boyhood,  and 
flashed  upon  me  the  forgotten  fact  that  this  was  the  usual 
way  of  explaining  one's  desires  to  a  slave.  I  was  able  to  re- 
member that  the  method  seemed  right  and  natural  to  me  in 
those  days,  I  being  born  to  it  and  unaware  that  elsewhere  there 
were  other  methods ;  but  I  was  also  able  to  remember  that 
those  unresented  cuffings  made  me  sorry  for  the  victim  and 
ashamed  for  the  punisher.  My  father  was  a  refined  and  kindly 
gentleman,  very  grave,  rather  austere,  of  rigid  probity,  a 
sternly  just  and  upright  man,  albeit  he  attended  no  church  and 
never  spoke  of  religious  matters,  and  had  no  part  nor  lot  in 
the  pious  joys  of  his  Presbyterian  family,  nor  ever  seemed  to 
suffer  from  this  deprivation.  He  laid  his  hand  upon  me  in 
punishment  only  twice  in  his  life,  and  then  not  heavily  ;  once 
for  telling  him  a  lie  —  which  surprised  me,  and  showed  me 
how  unsuspicious  he  was,  for  that  was  not  my  maiden  effort. 
He  punished  me  those  two  times  only,  and  never  any  other 


352  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

member  of  the  family  at  all ;  yet  every  now  and  then  he  cuffed 
our  harmless  slave  boy,  Lewis,  for  trifling  little  blunders  and 
awkardnesses.  My  father  had  passed  his  life  among  the  slaves 
from  his  cradle  up,  and  his  cuffings  proceeded  from  the  custom 
of  the  time,  not  from  his  nature.  When  I  was  ten  years  old 
I  saw  a  man  fling  a  lump  of  iron-ore  at  a  slave-man  in  anger, 
for  merely  doing  something  awkwardly  —  as  if  that  were  a 
crime.  It  bounded  from  the  man's  skull,  and  the  man  fell  and 
never  spoke  again.  He  was  dead  in  an  hour.  I  knew  the  man 
had  a  right  to  kill  his  slave  if  he  wanted  to,  and  yet  it  seemed 
a  pitiful  thing  and  somehow  wrong,  though  why  wrong  I  was 
not  deep  enough  to  explain  if  I  had  been  asked  to  do  it. 
Nobody  in  the  village  approved  of  that  murder,  but  of  course 
no  one  said  much  about  it. 

It  is  curious  —  the  space-annihilating  power  of  thought. 
For  just  one  second,  all  that  goes  to  make  the  rue  in  me  was 
in  a  Missourian  village,  on  the  other  side  of  the  globe,  vividly 
seeing  again  these  forgotten  pictures  of  fifty  years  ago,  and 
wholly  unconscious  of  all  things  but  just  those  ;  and  in  the  next 
second  I  was  back  in  Bombay,  and  that  kneeling  native's 
smitten  cheek  was  not  done  tingling  yet !  Back  to  boyhood 
—  fifty  years  ;  back  to  age  again,  another  fifty  ;  and  a  flight 
equal  to  the  circumference  of  the  globe — all  in  two  seconds 
by  the  watch ! 

Some  natives  —  I  don't  remember  how  many  —  went  into 
my  bedroom,  now,  and  put  things  to  rights  and  arranged  the 
mosquito-bar,  and  I  went  to  bed  to  nurse  my  cough.  It  was 
about  nine  in  the  evening.  What  a  state  of  things !  For  three 
hours  the  yelling  and  shouting  of  natives  in  the  hall  continued, 
along  with  the  velvety  patter  of  their  swift  bare  feet  —  what  a 
racket  it  was!  They  were  yelling  orders  and  messages  down 
three  flights.  Why,  in  the  matter  of  noise  it  amounted  to  a 
riot,  an  insurrection,  a  revolution.     And  then  there  were  other 


MOKE   SERVICE.  353 

noises  mixed  up  with  these  and  at  intervals  tremendously 
accenting-  them -- roof s  falling  in,  I  judged,  windows  smash- 
ing, persons  being  murdered,  crows  squawking,  and  deriding, 
and  cursing,  canaries  screeching,  monkeys  jabbering,  macaws 
blaspheming,  and  every  now  and  then  fiendish  burstsof  laugh- 
ter and  explosions  of  dynamite.  By  midnight  I  had  suffered 
all  the  different  kinds  of  shocks  there  are.  and  knew  that  I 
could  never  more  be  disturbed  by  them,  either  isolated  or  in 
combination.  Then  came  peace  — stillness  deep  and  solemn  - 
and  lasted  till  five. 

Then  it  all  broke  loose  again.  And  who  re-started  it  \ 
The  Bird  of  Birds  -the  Indian  crow.  I  came  to  know  him 
well,  by  and  by.  and  be  infatuated  with  him.  I  suppose  he  is 
the  hardest  lot  that  wears  feathers.  Yes,  and  the  cheerfulest, 
and  the  best  satisfied  with  himself.  He  never  arrived  at  what 
he  is  by  any  careless  process,  or  any  sudden  one ;  he  is  a  work 
of  art,  and  "art  is  long";  he  is  the  product  of  immemorial 
ages,  and  of  deep  calculation ;  one  can't  make  a  bird  like  that 
in  a  day.  He  has  been  re-incarnated  more  times  than  Shiva  ; 
and  he  has  kept  a  sample  of  each  incarnation,  and  fused  it  into 
his  constitution.  In  the  course  of  his  evolutionary  promotions, 
his  sublime  march  toward  ultimate  perfection,  he  has  been  a 
gambler,  a  low  comedian,  a  dissolute  priest,  a  fussy  woman,  a 
blackguard,  a  scoffer,  a  liar,  a  thief,  a  spy,  an  informer,  a  trad- 
ing politician,  a  swindler,  a  professional  hypocrite,  a  patriot 
for  cash,  a  reformer,  a  lecturer,  a  lawyer,  a  conspirator,  a  rebel, 
a  royalist,  a  democrat,  a  practicer  and  propagator  of  irrever- 
ence, a  meddler,  an  intruder,  a  busybody,  an  infidel,  and  a 
wallower  in  sin  for  the  mere  love  of  it.  The  strange  result. 
the  incredible  result,  of  this  patient  accumulation  of  all  dam- 
nable traits  is,  that  he  does  not  know  what  care  is,  he  does  not 
know  what  sorrow  is,  he  does  not  know  what  remorse  is,  his  life 

is  one  long  thundering  ecstasy  of  happiness,  and  he  will  go  to  his 
23 


354  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

death  untroubled,  knowing  thai  lie  will  soon  turn  up  again  as 
an  author  or  something,  and  be  even  more  intolerably  capable 
and  comfortable  than  ever  he  was  before. 

In  his  straddling  wide  forward-step,  and  his  springy  side- 
wise  series  of  hops,  and  his  impudent  air,  and  his  cunning  way 
of  canting  his  head  to  one  side  upon  occasion,  he  reminds  one 
of  the  American  blackbird.  But  the  sharp  resemblances  stop 
there.  He  is  much  bigger  than  the  blackbird ;  and  he  lacks 
the  blackbird's  trim  and  slender  and  beautiful  build  and 
shapely  beak  ;  and  of  course  his  sober  garb  of  gray  and  rusty 
black  is  a  poor  and  humble  thing  compared  with  the  splendid 
lustre  of  the  blackbird's  metallic  sables  and  shifting  and  flash- 
ing bronze  glories.  The  blackbird  is  a  perfect  gentleman,  in 
deportment  and  attire,  and  is  not  noisy,  I  believe,  except  when 
holding  religious  services  and  political  conventions  in  a  tree ; 
l»at  this  Indian  sham  Quaker  is  just  a  rowdy,  and  is  always 
noisy  when  awake  —  always  chaffing,  scolding,  scoffing,  laugh- 
ing, ripping,  and  cursing,  and  carrying  on  about  something 
or  other.  I  never  saw  such  a  bird  for  delivering  opinions. 
Nothing  escapes  him ;  he  notices  everything  that  happens,  and 
brings  out  his  opinion  about  it,  particularly  if  it  is  a  matter 
that  is  none  of  his  business.  And  it  is  never  a  mild  opinion, 
but  always  violent --violent  and  profane --the  presence  of 
ladies  does  not  affect  him.  His  opinions  are  not  the  outcome 
of  reflection,  for  he  never  thinks  about  anything,  but  heaves 
out  the  opinion  that  is  on  top  in  his  mind,  and  which  is  often 
an  opinion  about  some  quite  different  thing  and  does  not  fit 
the  case.  But  that  is  his  way  ;  his  main  idea  is  to  get  out  an 
opinion,  and  if  he  stopped  to  think  he  would  lose  chances. 

I  suppose  he  has  no  enemies  among  men.  The  whites  and 
Mohammedans  never  seemed  to  molest  him;  and  the  Hindoos, 
because  of  their  religion,  never  take  the  life  of  any  creature, 
but  spare  even  the  snakes  and  tigers  and  fleas  and  rats.     If  I 


THE    INDIAN   CROW 


355 


sat  on  one  end  of  the  balcony,  the  crows  would  gather  on  the 
railing  at  the  other  end  and  talk  about  me  ;  and  edge  closer, 
little  by  little,  till  I  could  almost  reach  them;  and  they  would 

« 

sit  there,   in   the   most    unabashed  way,  and  talk    about    my 

clothes,    and   my    hair,  and  my   complexion, 
and    probable    character    and    vocation   and 
politics,  and  how  I  came  to  be  in  India, 
and  what  I  had  been  doing,  and 
how    m  a  n  v 


V 


OP1MJESSIYELY    SOCIABLE. 


days  I  had  got  for  it,  and  how  I  had  happened  to  go  unhanged 
so   long,  and   when    would  it  probably  come  off.  and    might 


356 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


there  be  more  of  my  sort  where  I  came  from,  and  when  would 
they  be  hanged,  —  and  so  on,  and  so  on,  until  I  could  not 
longer  endure  the  embarrassment  of  it ;  then  I  would  shoo 
them  away,  and  they  would  circle  around  in  the  air  a  little 
while,  laughing  and  deriding  and  mocking,  and  presently 
settle  on  the  rail  and  do  it  all  over  again. 

They  were  very  sociable  when  there  was  anything  to  eat  - 
oppressively  so.  With  a  little  encouragement  they  would  come 
in  and  light  on  the  table  and  help  me  eat  my  breakfast  ;  and 
once  when  I  was  in  the  other  room  and  they  found  themselves 
alone,  they  carried  off  everything  they  could  lift :  and  they 
were  particular  to  choose  things  which  they  could  make  no  use 
of  after  they  got  them.  In  India  their  number  is  beyond  esti- 
mate,  and  their  noise  is  in  proportion.  I  suppose  they  cost  the 
country  more  than  the  government  does  ;  yet  that  is  not  a 
light  matter.  Still,  they  pay  ;  their  company  pays ;  it  would 
sadden  the  land  to  take  their  cheerful  voice  out  of  it. 


CHAPTER  XXXIX. 

By  trying  we  can  easily  learn  to  endure  adversity.    Another  man's,  I  mean. 

— Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  Xew  C'alaufur. 


Y 


OU  soon  find  your  long-ago  dreams  of  India  rising  in  a 
sort  of  vague  and  luscious  moonlight  above  the  hori- 
zon-rim of  your  opaque  consciousness,  and  softly  light- 
ing up  a  thousand  forgotten  details  which  were  parts  of  a 
vision  that  had  once  been  vivid  to  you  when  you  were  a  boy, 
and  steeped  your  spirit  in  tales  of  the  East.  The  barbaric 
gorgeousn esses,  for  instance  ;  and  the  princely  titles,  the  sump- 
tuous titles,  the  sounding  titles, —  how  good  they  taste  in  the 
mouth  !  The  Nizam  of  Hyderabad  ;  the  Maharajah  of  Trav- 
ancore ;  the  Nabob  of  Jubbelpore  ;  the  Begum  of  Bhopal;  the 
Nawab  of  Mysore ;  the  Ranee  of  Gulnare ;  the  Ahkoond  of 
Swat's  ;  the  Rao  of  Rohilkund  ;  the  Gaikwar  of  Baroda.  In- 
deed, it  is  a  country  that  runs  richly  to  name.  The  great  god 
Arishnu  has  108 — 108  special  ones--l08  peculiarly  holy  ones 
-  names  just  for  Sunday  use  only.  I  learned  the  whole  of 
Vishnu's  108  by  heart  once,  but  they  wouldn't  stay ;  I  don't 
remember  any  of  them  now  but  John  W. 

And  the  romances  connected  with  those  princely  native 
houses  —  to  this  day  they  are  always  turning  up,  just  as  in  the 
old,  old  times.  Thev  were  sweating  out  a  romance  in  an  En- 
glish  court  in  Bombay  a  while  before  we  were  there.  In  this 
case  a  native  prince,  16|  years  old,  who  has  been  enjoying  his 
titles  and  dignities  and  estates  unmolested  for  fourteen  years, 
is  suddenly  haled  into  court  on  the  charge  that  he  is  rightfully 
no  prince  at  all,  but  a  pauper  peasant ;  that  the  real  prince 


358  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

died  when  two  and  one-half  years  old ;  that  the  death  was  con- 
cealed, and  a  peasant  child  smuggled  into  the  royal  cradle,  and 
that  this  present  incumbent  was  that  smuggled  substitute.  This 
is  the  very  material  that  so  many  oriental  tales  have  been  made  of. 

The  case  of  that  great  prince,  the  Gaikwar  of  Baroda,  is  a 
reversal  of  the  theme.  AVhen  that  throne  fell  vacant,  no  heir 
could  be  found  for  some  time,  but  at  last  one  was  found  in  the 
person  of  a  peasant  child  who  was  making  mud  pies  in  a  village 
street,  and  having  an  innocent  good  time.  But  his  pedigree 
was  straight ;  he  was  the  true  prince,  and  he  has  reigned  ever 
since,  with  none  to  dispute  his  right. 

Lately  there  was  another  hunt  for  an  heir  to  another 
princely  house,  and  one  was  found  who  was  circumstanced 
about  as  the  Gaikwar  had  been.  His  fathers  were  traced  back, 
in  humble  life,  along  a  branch  of  the  ancestral  tree  to  the  point 
where  it  joined  the  stem  fourteen  generations  ago,  and  his 
heirship  was  thereby  squarely  established.  The  tracing  was 
done  by  means  of  the  records  of  one  of  the  great  Hindoo 
shrines,  where  princes  on  pilgrimage  record  their  names  and 
the  date  of  their  visit,  This  is  to  keep  the  prince's  religious 
account  straight,  and  his  spiritual  person  safe ;  but  the  record 
has  the  added  value  of  keeping  the  pedigree  authentic,  too. 

When  I  think  of  Bombay  now.  at  this  distance  of  time,  1 
seem  to  have  a  kaleidoscope  at  my  eye;  and  I  hear  the  clash  of 
the  glass  bits  as  the  splendid  figures  change,  and  fall  apart, 
and  flash  into  new  forms,  figure  after  figure,  and  with  the 
birth  of  each  new  form  I  feel  my  skin  crinkle  and  my  nerve- 
web  tingle  with  a  new  thrill  of  wonder  and  delight.  These 
remembered  pictures  float  past  me  in  a  sequence  of  contracts ; 
following  the  same  order  always,  and  always  whirling  by  and 
disappearing  with  the  swiftness  of  a  dream,  leaving  me  with 
the  sense  that  the  actuality  was  the  experience  of  an  hour,  at 
most,  whereas  it  really  covered  days.  I  think'. 


MEN   SERVANTS.  :;;,;» 

The  series  begins  with  the  hiring  of  a  "bearer"  native 
man-servant — a  person  who  should  be  selected  with  some  care, 
because  as  long  as  he  is  in  your  employ  he  will  be  about  as 
near  to  you  as  your  clothes. 

In  India  your  day  may  be  said  to  begin  with  the  " bearer's " 
knock  on  the  bedroom  door,  accompanied  by  a  formula  of 
words  — a  formula  which  is  intended  to  mean  that  the  bath  is 
ready.  It  doesn't  really  seem  to  mean  anything;  at  all.  But 
that  is  because  you  are  not  used  to  "bearer"  English.  You 
will  presently  understand. 

Where  he  gets  his  English  is  his  own  secret.  There  is 
nothing  like  it  elsewhere  in  the  earth;  or  even  in  paradise,  per- 
haps, but  the  other  place  is  probably  full  of  it.  You  hire  him 
as  soon  as  you  touch  Indian  soil;  for  no  matter  what  your  sex 
is,  you  cannot  do  without  him.  He  is  messenger,  valet,  cham- 
bermaid, table-waiter,  lady's  maid,  courier  —  he  is  everything. 
He  carries  a  coarse  linen  clothes-bag  and  a  quilt ;  he  sleeps  on 
the  stone  floor  outside  your  chamber  door,  and  gets  his  meals 
you  do  not  know  where  nor  when ;  you  only  know  that  lie  is 
not  fed  on  the  premises,  either  when  you  are  in  a  hotel  or 
when  you  are  a  guest  in  a  private  house.  His  wages  are  large 
-from  an  Indian  point  of  view  —  and  he  feeds  and  clothes 
himself  out  of  them.  We  had  three  of  him  in  two  and  a  half 
months.  The  first  one's  rate  was  thirty  rupees  a  month 
that  is  to  say,  twenty-seven  cents  a  day;  the  rate  of  the  others, 
Rs.  40  (40  rupees)  a  month.  A  princely  sum;  for  the  native 
switchman  on  a  railway  and  the  native  servant  in  a  private 
family  get  only  Es.  7  per  month,  and  the  farm-hand  only  4. 
The  two  former  feed  and  clothe  themselves  and  their  families 
on  their  $1.90  per  month  ;  but  I  cannot  believe  that  the  farm- 
hand has  to  feed  himself  on  his  $1.08.  I  think  the  farm  prob- 
ably feeds  him,  and  that  the  whole  of  his  wages,  except  a  trifle 
for  the  priest,  go  t<>  the  support  of  his  family.      Thai  is,  to  the 


Q 


60  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


feeding  of  his  family;  for  they  live  in  a  mud  hut,  hand-made, 
and,  doubtless,  rent-free,  and  they  wear  no  clothes ;  at  least, 
nothing  more  than  a  rag.  And  not  much  of  a  rag  at  that,  in 
the  case  of  the  males.  However,  these  are  handsome  times  for 
the  farm-hand  ;  he  was  not  always  the  child  of  luxury  that  he 
is  now.  The  Chief  Commissioner  of  the  Central  Provinces,  in 
a  recent  official  utterance  wherein  he  was  rebuking  a  native 
deputation  for  complaining  of  hard  times,  reminded  them  that 
thev  could  easilv  remember  when  a  farm-hand's  wages  were 
only  half  a  rupee  (former  value)  a  month  -that  is  to  say,  less 
than  a  cent  a  day;  nearly  $2.90  a  year.  If  such  a  wage-earner 
had  a  good  deal  of  a  family  —  and  they  all  have  that,  for  God 
is  very  good  to  these  poor  natives  in  some  ways  —  he  would 
save  a  profit  of  fifteen  cents,  clean  and  clear,  out  of  his  year's 
toil ;  I  mean  a  frugal,  thrifty  person  would,  not  one  given  to 
display  and  ostentation.  And  if  he  owed  $13.50  and  took  good 
care  of  his  health,  he  could  pay  it  off  in  ninety  years.  Then 
he  could  hold  up  his  head,  and  look  his  creditors  in  the  face 
again. 

Think  of  these  facts  and  what  they  mean.  India  does  not 
consist  of  cities.  There  are  no  cities  in  India --to  speak  of. 
Its  stupendous  population  consists  of  farm-laborers.  India  is 
one  vast  farm — one  almost  interminable  stretch  of  fields  with 
mud  fences  between.  Think  of  the  above  facts ;  and  consider 
what  an  incredible  aggregate  of  poverty  they  place  before  you. 

The  first  Bearer  that  applied,  waited  below  and  sent  up  his 
recommendations.  That  was  the  first  morning  in  Bombay. 
We  read  them  over;  carefully,  cautiously,  thoughtfully.  There 
was  not  a  fault  to  find  with  them  —  except  one  ;  they  were  all 
from  Americans.  Is  that  a  slur?  If  it  is,  it  is  a  deserved  one. 
In  my  experience,  an  American's  recommendation  of  a  servant 
is  not  usually  valuable.  We  are  too  good-natured  a  race ;  we 
hate  to  say  the  unpleasant  thing;  we  shrink  from  speaking  the 


SERVANTS'   RECOMMENDATIONS.  ;;r,l 

unkind  truth  about  a  poor  fellow  whose  bread  depends  upon 
our  verdict;  so  we  speak  of  his  good  points  only,  thus  not 
scrupling  to  tell  a  lie  —  a  silent  lie --for  in  not  mentioning 
his  bad  ones  we  as  good  as  sav  he  hasn't  any.     The  only  dif- 

O  C  XJ  %J 

ference  that  I  know  of  between  a  silent  lie  and  a  spoken  one 
is,  that  the  silent  lie  is  a  less  respectable  one  than  the  other. 
And  it  can  deceive,  whereas  the  other  can't — as  a  rule.  We 
not  only  tell  the  silent  lie  as  to  a  servant's  faults,  but  we  sin  in 
another  way  :  we  overpraise  his  merits  ;  for  when  it  comes  to 
writing  recommendations  of  servants  we  are  a  nation  of  gush- 
ers. And  we  have  not  the  Frenchman's  excuse.  In  France 
you  m  ust  give  the  departing  servant  a  good  recommendation ; 
and  you  must  conceal  bis  faults ;  you  have  no  choice.  If  you 
mention  his  faults  for  the  protection  of  the  next  candidate  for 
his  services,  he  can  sue  you  for  damages;  and  the  court  will 
award  them,  too;  and,  moreover,  the  judge  will  give  you  a 
sharp  dressing-down  from  the  bench  for  trying  to  destroy  a 
poor  man's  character,  and  rob  him  of  his  bread.  I  do  not 
state  this  on  my  own  authority,  I  got  it  from  a  French  physi- 
cian of  fame  and  repute  —  a  man  who  was  born  in  Paris,  and 
had  practiced  there  all  his  life.  And  he  said  that  he  spoke  not 
merely  from  common  knowledge,  but  from  exasperating  per- 
sonal experience. 

As  I  was  saying,  the  Bearer's  recommendations  were  all 
from  American  tourists;  and  St.  Peter  would  have  admitted 
him  to  the  fields  of  the  blest  on  them — I  mean  if  he  is  as 
unfamiliar  with  our  people  and  our  ways  as  I  suppose  he  is. 
According  to  these  recommendations,  Manuel  X.  was  supreme 
in  all  the  arts  connected  with  his  complex  trade;  and  these 
manifold  arts  were  mentioned  —  and  praised — in  detail.  His 
English  wras  spoken  of  in  terms  of  warm  admiration  —  admira- 
tion verging  upon  rapture.  I  took  pleased  note  of  that,  and 
hoped  that  some  of  it  might  be  true. 


362 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


We  had  to  have  some  one  right  away  ;  so  the  family  went 
down  stairs  and  took  him  a  week  on  trial ;  then  sent  him  up 
to  me  and  departed  on  their  affairs.  I  was  shut  up  in  my 
quarters  with  a  bronchial  cough,  and  glad  to  have  something 
fresh  to  look  at,  something  new  to  play  with.  Manuel  rilled 
the  bill;  Manuel  was  very  welcome.  lie  was  toward  fifty 
years  old,  tall,  slender,  with  a  slight  stoop —  an  artificial  stoop, 

a  deferential  stoop,  a  stoop  rigidi- 
fied  by  long  habit  —  with  face  of 
European  mould  ;  short  hair  in- 
tensely black ;  gentle  black  eyes, 
timid  black  eyes,  indeed ;  com- 
plexion very  dark,  nearly  black 
in  fact :  face  smooth-shaven.  He 
was  bareheaded  and  barefooted, 
and  was  never  otherwise  while  his 
week  with  us  lasted;  his  clothing- 
was  Euro]  lean,  cheap,  flimsy,  and 
showed  much  wear. 

He  stood  before  me  and  inclined 
his  head  (and  body)  in  the  pathetic 
Indian  way,  touching  his  forehead 
with  the  finger-ends  of  his  right 
hand,  in  salute.  I  said  :  - 
"  Manuel,  you  are  evidently  Indian,  but  you  seem  to  have  a 
Spanish  name  when  you  put  it  all  together.     How  is  that  \  " 

A  perplexed  look  gathered  in  his  face;  it  was  plain  that  he 
had  not  understood -- but  he  didn't  let  on.  He  spoke  back* 
placidly. 


.HV 


MANUEL 


53 


"  Name,  Manuel.     Yes,  master. 
"  I  know  ;  but  how  did  you  get  the  name  ? " 
"  Oh,  yes,  I  suppose.      Think    happen  so.      Father  same 
name,  not  mother." 


WHERE    MANUEL   GOT    HIS   ENGLISH.  ;;.;:; 

I  saw  that  I  must  simplify  my  language  and  spread  my 
words  apart,  if  I  would  be  understood  by  this  English  scholar. 

"  Well  —  then  —  how  —  did  —  your  —  father  —  get  —  //  As-  — 
name '.  " 

"  Oh,  he/*-  -  brightening  a  little  —  "  lit1  ( !hristian  -  -  Porty- 
gee  ;  live  in  Goa  :  I  born  Goa  ;  mother  not  Portygee,  mother 
native  —  high-caste  Brahmin  — Coolin  Brahmin ;  highest  caste : 
no  other  so  high  caste.  I  high-caste  Brahmin,  too.  Christian, 
too.  same  like  father;  high-caste  Christian  Brahmin,  master - 
Salvation  Army." 

All  this  haltingly,  and  with  difficulty.  Then  he  had  an 
inspiration,  and  began  to  pour  out  a  flood  of  words  that  I  could 
make  nothing  of ;  so  I  said  :  — 

"There — don't  do  that.      I  can't  understand  Hindustani." 

"  Xot  Hindostani,  master  —  English.  Always  I  speaking 
English  sometimes  when  I  talking  every  day  all  the  time  at  you." 

"Very  well,  stick  to  that;  that  is  intelligible.  It  is  not 
up  to  my  hopes,  it  is  not  up  to  the  promise  of  the  recommenda- 
tions, still  it  is  English,  and  I  understand  it.  Don't  elaborate 
it ;  I  don't  like  elaborations  when  they  are  crippled  by  uncer- 
tainty of  touch." 

k-  Master  \ " 

"  Oh,  never  mind  ;  it  was  only  a  random  thought ;  \  didn't 
expect  you  to  understand  it.  How  did  you  get  your  English ; 
is  it  an  acquirement,  or  just  a  gift  of  God  '.  " 

After  some  hesitation  —  piously  : 

-  Yes,  he  very  good.  Christian  god  very  good,  Hindoo 
god  very  good,  too.  Two  million  Hindoo  god,  one  Christian 
god  —  make  two  million  and  one.  All  mine;  two  million  and 
one  god.  I  got  a  plenty.  Sometime  I  pray  all  time  at  those, 
keep  it  up,  go  all  time  every  day ;  give  something  at  shrine,  all 
good  for  me,  make  me  better  man  ;  good  for  me,  good  for  my 
family,  dam  good.*' 


.",(',4  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

Then  he  had  another  inspiration,  and  went  rambling  off 
into  fervent  confusions  and  incoherencies,  and  I  had  to  stop 
him  again.  I  thought  we  had  talked  enough,  so  I  told  him  to 
go  to  the  bathroom  and  clean  it  up  and  remove  the  slops  —  this 
to  get  rid  of  him.  He  went  away,  seeming  to  understand,  and 
got  out  some  of  mv  clothes  and  began  to  brush  them.  I  re- 
peated  my  desire  several  times,  simplifying  and  re-simplifying 
it,  and  at  last  he  got  the  idea.  Then  he  went  away  and  put  a 
coolie  at  the  work,  and  explained  that  he  would  lose  caste  if 
he  did  it  himself ;  it  would  be  pollution,  by  the  law  of  his  caste, 
and  it  would  cost  him  a  deal  of  fuss  and  trouble  to  purify  him- 
self and  accomplish  his  rehabilitation.  He  said  that  that  kind 
of  work  was  strictly  forbidden  to  persons  of  caste,  and  as 
strictly  restricted  to  the  very  bottom  layer  of  Hindoo  society 
-the  despised  Sudra  (the  toiler,  the  laborer).  He  was  right ; 
and  apparently  the  poor  Sudra  has  been  content  with  his 
strange  lot,  his  insulting  distinction,  for  ages  and  ages  —  clear 
back  to  the  beginning  of  things,  so  to  speak.  Buckle  says  that 
his  name  —  laborer  —  is  a  term  of  contempt  ;  that  it  is  ordained 
by  the  Institutes  of  Menu  (900  B.C.)  that  if  a  Sudra  sit  on-  a 
level  with  his  superior  he  shall  be  exiled  or  branded*  .; 

if  he  speak  contemptuously  of  his  superior  or  insult  him  he 
shall  suffer  death  ;  if  he  listen  to  the  reading  of  the  sacred  boohs 
he  shall  have  burning  oil  poured  in  his  ears',  if  he  memorize 
passages  from  them  //<  shall  be  killed  ;  if  he  marry  his  daughter 
to  a  Brahmin  the  7atxba?id  shall  go  to  hell  for  defiling  himself 
by  contact  with  a  woman  so  infinitely  his  inferior  ;  and  that  it 
is  forbidden  to  a  Sudra  to  acquire  wealth.  "  The  bulk  of  the 
population  of  India,"  says  Bucklef  ''is  the  Sudras  —  the 
workers,  the  farmers,  the  creators  of  wealth^ 

Manuel  was  a  failure,  poor  old  fellow.     His  age  was  against 

:;:  Without  going  into  particulars  I  will  remark  that  as  a  rule  they  wear  no  cloth- 
ing that  would  conceal  the  brand.  — M.  T. 
t  Population  to-day,  300,000,000. 


A  NEW   MAN   SERVANT.  365 

him.  He  was  desperately  slow  and  phenomenally  forgetful. 
When  he  went  three  blocks  on  an  errand  he  would  be  gone 
two  hours,  and  then  forget  what  it  was  he  went  for.  When 
he  packed  a  trunk  it  took  him  forever,  and  the  trunk's  contents 
were  an  unimaginable  chaos  when  he  got  done.  He  couldn't 
wait  satisfactorily  at  table  —  a  prime  defect,  for  if  you  haven't 
your  own  servant  in  an  Indian  hotel  you  are  likely  to  have  a 
slow  time  of  it  and  go  away  hungry.  We  couldn't  understand 
his  English  ;  he  couldn't  understand  ours  ;  and  when  we  found 
that  he  couldn't  understand  his  own,  it  seemed  time  for  us  to 
part.  I  had  to  discharge  him ;  there  was  no  help  for  it. 
But  I  did  it  as  kindly  as  I  could,  and  as  gently.  We  must 
part,  said  I,  but  I  hoped  we  should  meet  again  in  a  better 
world.  It  was  not  true,  but  it  was  only  a  little  thing  to  say, 
and  saved  his  feelings  and  cost  me  nothing. 

But  now  that  he  was  gone,  and  was  off  my  mind  and  heart, 
my  spirits  began  to  rise  at  once,  and  I  was  soon  feeling  brisk 
and  ready  to  go  out  and  have  adventures.  Then  his  newly- 
hired  successor  flitted  in,  touched  his  forehead,  and  began  to 
fly  around  here,  there,  and  everywhere,  on  his  velvet  feet,  and 
in  five  minutes  he  had  everything  in  the  room  "  ship-shape  and 
Bristol  fashion,"  as  the  sailors  say,  and  was  standing  at  the 
salute,  waiting  for  orders.  Dear  me,  what  a  rustler  he  was 
after  the  slumbrous  way  of  Manuel,  poor  old  slug !  All  my 
heart,  all  my  affection,  all  my  admiration,  went  out  spontane- 
ously to  this  frisky  little  forked  black  thing,  this  compact  and 
compressed  incarnation  of  energy  and  force  and  promptness 
and  celerity  and  confidence,  this  smart,  smily,  engaging, 
shiney-eyed  little  devil,  feruled  on  his  upper  end  by  a  gleam- 
ing fire-coal  of  a  fez  with  a  red-hot  tassel  dangling  from  it. 
I  said,  with  deep  satisfaction  — 

"  You'll  suit.     What  is  your  name  ? " 

He  reeled  it  mellowly  off 


366  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

"  Let  me  see  if  I  can  make  a  selection  out  of  it  —  for 
business  uses,  I  mean ;  we  will  keep  the  rest  for  Sundays. 
Give  it  to  me  in  installments." 

He  did  it.  But  there  did  not  seem  to  be  any  short  ones, 
except  Mousa  -  -  which  suggested  mouse.  It  was  out  of 
character;  it  was  too  soft,  too  quiet,  too  conservative;  it  didn't 
tit  his  splendid  style.     I  considered,  and  said : 

"  Mousa  is  short  enough,  but  I  don't  quite  like  it.  It  seems 
colorless" — inharmonious  —  inadequate  ;  and  I  am  sensitive  to 
such  things.     How  do  you  think  Satan  would  do  I " 

k*  Yes,  master.     Satan  do  wair  good." 

It  was  his  way  of  saying  "very  good." 

There  was  a  rap  at  the  door.  Satan  covered  the  ground 
with  a  single  skip;  there  was  a  word  or  two  of  Hindostani, 
then  he  disappeared.  Three  minutes  later  he  was  before  me 
again,  militarily  erect,  and  waiting  for  me  to  speak  first. 

"What  is  it,  Satan?" 

"  God  want  to  see  you." 

"Who?" 

"  God.     I  show  -him  up,  master  \  " 

"Why,  this  is  so  unusual,  that — that — well,  you  see  — 
indeed  I  am  so  unprepared  -- 1  don't  quite  know  what  I  do 
mean.  Dear  me,  can't  you  explain  \  Don't  you  see  that  this 
is  a  most  ex —  " 

"  Here  his  card,  master." 

Wasn't  it  curious  —  and  amazing,  and  tremendous,  and  all 
that  \  Such  a  personage  going  around  calling  on  such  as  I, 
and  sending  up  his  card,  like  a  mortal --  sending  it  up  by  Satan. 
It  was  a  bewildering  collision  of  the  impossibles.  But  this 
was  the  land  of  the  Arabian  Nights,  this  was  India !  and  what 
is  it  that  cannot  happen  in  India  \ 

We  had  the  interview.  Satan  was  right  -  the  Visitor  was 
indeed  a  God  in  the  conviction  of  his  multitudinous  followers. 


AN   UNEXPECTED   VISITOR  367 

and  was  worshiped  by  them  in  sincerity  and  humble  adora- 
tion. They  are  troubled  by  no  doubts  as  to  his  divine  origin 
and  office.  They  believe  in  him,  they  pray  to  him,  they  make 
offering's  to  him,  they  beff  of  him  remission  of  sins;  to  them 
his  person,  together  with  everything  connected  with  it,  is 
sacred  ;  from  his  barber  they  buy  the  parings  of  his  nails  and 
set  them  in  gold,  and  wear  them  as  precious  amulets. 

I  tried  to  seem  tranquilly  conversational  and  at  rest,  but  I 
was  not.  Would  you  have  been '.  I  was  in  a  suppressed 
frenzy  of  excitement  and  curiosity  and  glad  wonder.  I  could 
not  keep  my  eyes  off  him.  I  was  looking  upon  a  god,  an 
actual. god,  a  recognized  and  accepted  god;  and  every  detail  of 
his  person  and  his  dress  had  a  consuming  interest  forme.  And 
the  thought  went  floating  through  my  head,  "  He  is  worshiped 
—  think  of  it  —  he  is  not  a  recipient  of  the  pale  homage 
called  compliment,  wherewith  the  highest  human  clay  must 
make  shift  to  be  satisfied,  but  of  an  infinitely  richer  spiritual 
food:  adoration,  worship !-- men  and  women  lay  their  cares 
and  their  griefs  and  their  broken  hearts  at  his  feet ;  and  he 
gives  them  his  peace,  and  they  go  away  healed/' 

And  just  then  the  Awful  Visitor  said,  in  the  simplest 
way  — 

"  There  is  a  feature  of  the  philosophy  of  Huck  Finn 
which"  -and  went  luminously  on  with  the  construction  of  a 
compact  and  nicely-discriminated  literary  verdict. 

It  is  a  land  of  surprises--  India  !  I  had  had  my  ambitions 
-I  had  hoped,  and  almost  expected,  to  be  read  by  kings  and 
presidents  and  emperors  —  but  I  had  never  looked  so  high  ;e 
That.  It  would  be  false  modesty  to  pretend  that  I  was  not 
inordinately  pleased.  1  was.  I  was  much  more  pleased  than 
I  should  have  been  with  a  compliment  from  a  man. 

He  remained  half  an  hour,  and  I  found  him  a  most  courte- 
ous and  charming  gentleman.     The  godship  has  been  in  his 


368 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


family  a  good  while,  but  I  do  not  know  how  long.  He  is  a 
Mohammedan  deity ;  by  earthly  rank  he  is  a  prince ;  not  an 
Indian  but  a  Persian  prince.  He  is  a  direct  descendant  of  the 
Prophet's  line.  He  is  comely ;  also  young  —  for  a  god ;  not 
forty,  perhaps  not  above  thirty-five  years  old.  He  wears  his 
immense  honors  with  tranquil  grace,  and  with  a  dignity  proper 
to  his  awful  calling.  He  speaks  English  with  the  ease  and 
purity  of  a  person  born  to  it.  I  think  I  am  not  overstating 
this.  He  was  the  only  god  I  had  ever  seen,  and  I  was  very 
favorably  impressed.  When  he  rose  to  say  good-bye,  the  door 
swung  open  and  I  caught  the  flash  of  a  red  fez,  and  heard 
these  words,  reverently  said  — 

"  Satan  see  God  out  ? " 

"  Yes."     And  these  mis-mated  Beings  passed  from  view  - 
Satan  in  the  lead  and  The  Other  following  after. 


i—— i 


mmmem 


w 


CHAPTER  XL. 

Few  of  us  can  stand  prosperity.     Another  man's,  I  mean. 

—  P i old' n head  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  next  picture  in  my  mind  is  Government  House,  on 
Malabar  Point,  with  the  wide  sea-view  from  the  win- 
dows and  broad  balconies ;  abode  of  His  Excellency 
the  Governor  of  the  Bombay  Presidency  —  a  residence  which 
is  European  in  everything  but  the  native  guards  and  servants, 
and  is  a  home  and  a  palace  of  state  harmoniously  combined. 

That  was  England,  the  English  power,  the  English  civil- 
ization, the  modern  civilization  —  with  the  quiet  elegancies  and 
quiet  colors  and  quiet  tastes  and  quiet  dignity  that  are  the 
outcome  of  the  modern  cultivation.  And  following  it  came  a 
picture  of  the  ancient  civilization  of  India  —  an  hour  in  the 
mansion  of  a  native  prince :  Kumar  Schri  Samatsinhji  Bahadur 
of  the  Palitana  State. 

The  young  lad,  his  heir,  was  with  the  prince  ;  also,  the  lad's 
sister,  a  wee  brown  sprite,  very  pretty,  very  serious,  very  win- 
ning, delicately  moulded,  costumed  like  the  daintiest  butterfly, 
a  dear  little  fairyland  princess,  gravely  willing  to  be  friendly 
with  the  strangers,  but  in  the  beginning  preferring  to  hold  her 
father's  hand  until  she  could  take  stock  of  them  and  determine 
how  far  they  were  to  be  trusted.  She  must  have  been  eight 
years  old ;  so  in  the  natural  (Indian)  order  of  things  she  would 
be  a  bride  in  three  or  four  years  from  now,  and  then  this  free 
contact  with  the  sun  and  the  air  and  the  other  belongings  of 
out-door  nature  and  comradeship  with  visiting  male  folk  would 
end,  and  she  would  shut  herself  up  in  the  zenana  for  life,  like 
24  ( 369  ) 


370 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


her  mother,  and  by  inherited  habit  of  mind  would  be  happy  in 
that  seclusion  and  not  look  upon  it  as  an  irksome  restraint  and 
a  weary  captivity. 

The  game  which  the  prince  amuses  his  leisure  with  —  how- 
ever, never  mind  it,  I  should  never  be  able  to  describe  it  intel- 
ligibly.    I  tried  to  get  an  idea  of  it  while  my  wife  and  daughter 

visited  the  princess  in  the  zenana, 
a  lady  of  charming  graces  and 
a  fluent  speaker  of  English,  but  I 
did  not  make  it  out.  It  is  a 
complicated  game,  and  I  believe 
it  is  said  that  nobody  can  learn 
to  play  it  well  but  an  Indian. 
And  1  was  not  able  to  learn  how 
to  wind  a  turban.  It  seemed  a 
simple  art  and  easy ;  but  that 
was  a  deception.  It  is  a  piece  of 
thin,  delicate  stuff  a  foot  wide  or 
more,   and    forty   or    fifty   feet 


long;   and  the   exhibitor  of  the 


KUMAR   SCHRI    SAMATSINHJI 

BAHADUR. 


art  takes  one  end  of  it  in  his 
two  hands,  and  winds  it  in  and 
out  intricately  about  his  head, 
twisting  it  as  he  goes,  and  in  a  minute  or  two  the  thing  is 
finished,  and  is  neat  and  symmetrical  and  fits  as  snugly  as  a 
mould. 

We  were  interested  in  the  wardrobe  and  the  jewels,  and  in 
the  silverware,  and  its  grace  of  shape  and  beauty  and  deli- 
cacy of  ornamentation.  The  silverware  is  kept  locked  up,  except 
at  meal-times,  and  none  but  the  chief  butler  and  the  prince 
have  keys  to  the  safe.  I  did  not  clearly  understand  why,  but 
it  was  not  for  the  protection  of  the  silver.  It  was  either  to 
protect  the  prince  from   the   contamination   which  his  caste 


VISITING   A  PRINCE.  371 

would  suffer  if  the  vessels  were  touched  by  low-caste  hands,  or 
it  was  to  protect  his  highness  from  poison.  Possibly  it  was 
both.  I  believe  a  salaried  taster  has  to  taste  everything  before 
the  prince  ventures  it  —  an  ancient  and  judicious  custom  in  the 
East,  and  has  thinned  out  the  tasters  a  good  deal,  for  of  course 
it  is  the  cook  that  puts  the  poison  in.  If  I  were  an  Indian 
prince  I  would  not  go  to  the  expense  of  a  taster,  I  would  eat 
with  the  cook. 

Ceremonials  are  always  interesting;  and  I  noted  that  the 
Indian  good-morning  is  a  ceremonial,  whereas  ours  doesn't 
amount  to  that.  In  salutation  the  son  reverently  touches  the 
father's  forehead  with  a  small  silver  implement  tipped  with 
vermillion  paste  which  leaves  a  red  spot  there,  and  in  return 
the  son  receives  the  father's  blessing.  Our  good  morning  is 
well  enough  for  the  rowdy  "West,  perhaps,  but  would  be  too 
brusque  for  the  soft  and  ceremonious  East. 

After  being  properly  necklaced,  according  to  custom,  with 
great  garlands  made  of  yellow  flowers,  and  provided  with 
betel-nut  to  chew,  this  pleasant  visit  closed,  and  we  passed 
thence  to  a  scene  of  a  different  sort:  from  this  glow  of  color 
and  this  sunny  life  to  those  grim  receptacles  of  the  Parsee  dead, 
the  Towers  of  Silence.  There  is  something  stately  about  that 
name,  ami  an  impressiveness  which  sinks  deep ;  the  hush  of 
death  is  in  it.  We  have  the  Grave,  the  Tomb,  the  Mausoleum. 
Hod's  Acre,  the  Cemetery  ;  and  association  has  made  them  elo 
quent  with  solemn  meaning;  but  we  have  no  name  that  is  so 
majestic  as  that  one,  or  lingers  upon  the  ear  with  such  deep  and 
haunting  pathos. 

On  lofty  ground,  in  the  midst  of  a  paradise  of  tropical  foliage 
and  flowers,  remote  from  the  world  and  its  turmoil  and  noise, 
they  stood — the  Towers  of  Silence;  and  away  below  was 
spread  the  wide  groves  of  cocoa  palms,  then  the  city,  mile  on 
mile,  then  the  ocean   with  its   fleets  of    creeping   ships  —  all 


372  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

steeped  in  a  stillness  as  deep  as  the  hush  that  hallowed  this 
high  place  of  the  dead.  The  vultures  were  there.  They  stood 
close  together  in  a  great  circle  all  around  the  rim  of  a  massive 
low  tower — waiting;  stood  as  motionless  as  sculptured  orna- 
ments, and  indeed  almost  deceived  one  into  the  belief  that  that 
was  what  they  were.  Presently  there  was  a  slight  stir  among 
the  score  of  persons  present,  and  all  moved  reverently  out  of 
the  path  and  ceased  from  talking.  A  funeral  procession  en- 
tered the  great  gate,  marching  two  and  two,  and  moved 
silently  by,  toward  the  Tower.  The  corpse  lay  in  a  shallow 
shell,  and  was  under  cover  of  a  white  cloth,  but  was  otherwise 
naked.  The  bearers  of  the  body  Avere  separated  by  an  interval 
of  thirty  feet  from  the  mourners.  They,  and  also  the  mourn- 
ers, were  draped  all  in  pure  white,  and  each  couple  of  mourners 
was  figuratively  bound  together  by  a  piece  of  white  rope  or  a 
handkerchief  —  though  they  merely  held  the  ends  of  it  in 
their  hands.  Behind  the  procession  followed  a  dog,  which  was 
led  in  a  leash.  When  the  mourners  had  reached  the  neighbor- 
hood of  the  Tower --neither  they  nor  any  other  human  beino- 
but  the  bearers  of  the  dead  must  approach  within  thirty  feet 
of  it  —  they  turned  and  went  back  to  one  of  the  prayerhouses 
within  the  gates,  to  pray  for  the  spirit  of  their  dead.  The 
bearers  unlocked  the  Tower's  sole  door  and  disappeared  from 
view  within.  In  a  little  while  they  came  out  bringing  the  bier 
and  the  white  covering-cloth,  and  locked  the  door  again.  Then 
the  ring  of  vultures  rose,  flapping  their  wings,  and  swooped 
down  into  the  Tower  to  devour  the  body.  Nothing  was  left 
of  it  but  a  clean-picked  skeleton  when  they  flocked  out  again 
a  few  minutes  afterward. 

The  principle  which  underlies  and  orders  everything  con- 
nected with  a  Parsee  funeral  is  Purity.  By  the  tenets  of  the 
Zoroastrian  religion,  the  elements,  Earth,  Fire,  and  Water,  are 
sacred,  and  must  not  be  contaminated  by  contact  with  a  dead 


THE   TOWERS   OF   SILENCE.  375 

body.  Hence  corpses  must  not  be  burned,  neither  must  they 
be  buried.  None  may  touch  the  dead  or  enter  the  Towers 
where  they  repose  except  certain  men  who  are  officially 
appointed  for  that  purpose.  They  receive  high  pay,  but  theirs 
is  a  dismal  life,  for  they  must  live  apart  from  their  species, 
because  their  commerce  with  the  dead  defiles  them,  and  any 
who  should  associate  with  them  would  share  their  defilement. 
AVhen  they  come  out  of  the  Tower  the  clothes  they  are  wear- 
ing are  exchanged  for  others,  in  a  building  within  the  grounds, 
and  the  ones  which  they  have  taken  off  are  left  behind,  for 
they  are  contaminated,  and  must  never  be  used  again  or  suffered 
to  go  outside  the  grounds.  These  bearers  come  to  every 
funeral  in  new  garments.  So  far  as  is  known,  no  human  being, 
other  than  an  official  corpse-bearer  save  one  —  has  ever 
entered  a  Tower  of  Silence  after  its  consecration.  Just  a 
hundred  years  ago  a  European  rushed  in  behind  the  bearers 
and  fed  his  brutal  curiosity  with  a  glimpse  of  the  forbidden 
mysteries  of  the  place.  This  shabby  savage's  name  is  not 
given  ;  his  quality  is  also  concealed.  These  two  details,  taken 
in  connection  with  the  fact  that  for  his  extraordinary  offense 
the  only  punishment  he  got  from  the  East  India  Company's 
Government  was  a  solemn  official  "  reprimand'1  -suggest  the 
suspicion  that  he  was  a  European  of  consequence.  The  same 
public  document  which  contained  the  reprimand  gave  warning 
that  future  offenders  of  his  sort,  if  in  the  Company's  service, 
would  be  dismissed  ;  and  if  merchants,  suffer  revocation  of 
license  and  exile  to  England. 

The  Towers  are  not  tall,  but  are  low  in  proportion  to  their 
circumference,  like  a  gasometer.  If  you  should  fill  a  gasometer 
half  way  up  with  solid  granite  masonry,  then  drive  a  wide 
and  deep  well  down  through  the  center  of  this  mass  of  masonry, 
you  would  have  the  idea  of  a  Tower  of  Silence.  On  the 
masonry  surrounding  the  well  the  bodies  lie,  in  shallow  trenches 


376  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

which  radiate  like  wheel-spokes  from  the  well.  The  trenches 
slant  toward  the  well  and  carry  into  it  the  rainfall.  Under- 
ground drains,  with  charcoal  filters  in  them,  carry  off  this 
water  from  the  bottom  of  the  well. 

When  a  skeleton  has  lain  in  the  Tower  exposed  to  the  rain 
and  the  flaming  sun  a  month  it  is  perfectly  dry  and  clean. 
Then  the  same  bearers  that  brought  it  there  come  gloved  and 
take  it  up  with  tongs  and  throw  it  into  the  well.  There  it 
turns  to  dust.  It  is  never  seen  again,  never  touched  again,  in 
the  world.  Other  peoples  separate  their  dead,  and  preserve 
and  continue  social  distinctions  in  the  grave  —  the  skeletons  of 
kings  and  statesmen  and  generals  in  temples  and  pantheons 
proper  to  skeletons  of  their  degree,  and  the  skeletons  of  the 
commonplace  and  the  poor  in  places  suited  to  their  meaner 
estate ;  but  the  Parsees  hold  that  all  men  rank  alike  in  death 
—  all  are  humble,  all  poor,  all  destitute.  In  sign  of  their 
poverty  they  are  sent  to  their  grave  naked,  in  sign  of  their 
equality  the  bones  of  the  rich,  the  poor,  the  illustrious  and  the 
obscure  are  flung  into  the  common  well  together.  At  a  Parsee 
funeral  there  are  no  vehicles;  all  concerned  must  walk,  both 
rich  and  poor,  howsoever  great  the  distance  to  be  traversed 
may  be.  In  the  wells  of  the  Five  Towers  of  Silence  is  mingled 
the  dust  of  all  the  Parsee  men  and  women  and  children  who 
have  died  in  Bombay  and  its  vicinity  during  the  two  centuries 
which  have  elapsed  since  the  Mohammedan  conquerors  drove 
the  Parsees  out  of  Persia,  and  into  that  region  of  India.  The 
earliest  of  the  five  towers  was  built  by  the  Modi  family  some- 
thing  more  than  200  years  ago,  and  it  is  now  reserved  to  the 
heirs  of  that  house ;  none  but  the  dead  of  that  blood  are 
carried  thither. 

The  origin  of  at  least  one  of  the  details  of  a  Parsee  funeral 
is  not  now  known —  the  presence  of  the  dog.  Before  a  corpse 
is  borne  from  the  house  of  mourning  it  must  be  uncovered  and 


A  PAKSEE  FUNERAL.  ;;77 

exposed  to  the  gaze  of  a  dog;  a  dog  must  also  be  led  in  the 
rear  of  the  funeral.  Mr.  Xusserwanjee  Byramjee,  Secretary  to 
the  Parsee  Punchayet,  said  that  these  formalities  had  once  had 
a  meaning  and  a  reason  for  their  institution,  but  that  they 
were  survivals  whose  origin  none  could  now  account  for. 
Custom  and  tradition  continue  them  in  force,  antiquity  hallows 
them.  It  is  thought  that  in  ancient  times  in  Persia  the  dog 
Avas  a  sac- red  animal  and  could  guide  souls  to  heaven  ;  also  that 
his  eye  had  the  power  of  purifying  objects  which  had  been 
contaminated  by  the  touch  of  the  dead;  and  that  hence  his 
presence  with  the  funeral  cortege  provides  an  ever-applicable 
remedy  in  case  of  need. 

The  Parsees  claim  that  their  method  of  disposing  of  the 
dead  is  an  effective  protection  of  the  living;  that  it  dissemin- 
ates no  corruption,  no  impurities  of  any  sort,  no  disease-germs; 
that  no  wrap,  no  garment  which  has  touched  the  dead  is 
allowed  to  touch  the  living  afterward;  that  from  the  Towers 
of  Silence  nothing  proceeds  which  can  carry  harm  to  the  out- 
side world.  These  are  just  claims,  I  think.  As  a  sanitary 
measure,  their  system  seems  to  be  about  the  equivalent  of 
cremation,  and  as  sure.  "We  are  drifting  slowly --but  hope- 
fully -toward  cremation  in  these  days.  It  could  not  be  ex- 
pected that  this  progress  should  be  swift,  but  if  it  be  steady 
and  continuous,  even  if  slow,  that  will  suffice.  When  cre- 
mation becomes  the  rule  we  shall  cease  to  shudder  at  it ;  we 
should  shudder  at  burial  if  we  allowed  ourselves  to  think  what 
goes  on  in  the  grave. 

The  dog  was  an  impressive  figure  to  me,  representing  as  he 
did  a  mystery  whose  key  is  lost.  He  was  humble,  and  appar- 
ently depressed ;  and  he  let  his  head  droop  pensively,  and 
looked  as  if  he  mig-ht  be  trving  to  call  back  to  his  mind  what 
it  was  that  he  had  used  to  svmbolize  ages  ago  when  he  began 
his  function.     There  was  another  impressive  thing   close   at 


378 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


hand,  but  I  was  not  privileged  to  see  it.  That  was  the  sacred 
fire — a  fire  which  is  supposed  to  have  been  burning  without 
interruption  for  more  than  two  centuries;  and  so,  living  by 
the  same  heat  that  was  imparted  to  it  so  long  ago. 

The  Parsees  are  a  remarkable  community.  There  are  only 
about  60,000  in  Bombay,  and  only  about  half  as  many  as  that 
in  the  rest  of  India  ;  but  they  make  up  in  importance  what 
they  lack  in  numbers.     They  are  highly  educated,  energetic, 

enterprising,  progressive,  rich,  and 
the  Jew  himself  is  not  more  lavish 
or  catholic  in  his  charities  and 
benevolences.  The  Parsees  build 
and  endow  hospitals,  for  both  men 
and  animals;  and  they  and  their 
womenkind  keep  an  open  purse  for 
all  great  and  good  objects.  They 
B  are  a  political  force,  and  a  valued 
support  to  the  government.  They 
have  a  pure  and  lofty  religion,  and 
they  preserve  it  in  its  integrity  and 
order  their  lives  by  it. 

AVe  took  a  final  sweep  of  the 
wonderful  view  of  plain  and  city 
and  ocean,  and  so  ended  our  visit  to  the  garden  and  the 
Towers  of  Silence  ;  and  the  last  thing  I  noticed  was  another 
symbol  —  a  voluntary  symbo  this  one;  it  was  a  vulture 
standing  on  the  sawed-off  top  of  a  tail  and  slender  and  branch- 
less palm  in  an  open  space  in  the  ground  ;  he  was  perfectly 
motionless,  and  looked  like  a  piece  of  sculpture  on  a  pillar. 
And  he  had  a  mortuary  look,  too,  which  was  in  keeping  with 
the  place. 


A   PARSER. 


CHAPTER   XLI. 

There  is  an  old-time  toast  which  is  golden  for  its  beauty.     "  When  you  ascend 
the  hill  of  prosperity  mayyouno'  meet  a  friend. " — Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  next  picture  that  drifts  across  the  Held  of  my 
memory  is  one  which  is  connected  with  religious 
things.  We  were  taken  by  friends  to  see  a  Jain 
temple.  It  was  small,  and  had  many  flags  or  streamers  flying 
from  poles  standing  above  its  roof;  and  its  little  battlements 
supported  a  great  many  small  idols  or  images.  Up  stairs, 
inside,  a  solitary  .lain  was  praying  or  reciting  aloud  in  the 
middle  of  the  room.  Our  presence  did  not  interrupt  him,  nor 
even  incommode  him  or  modify  his  fervor.  Ten  or  twelve 
feet  in  front  of  him  was  the  idol,  a  small  figure  in  a  sitting 
posture.  It  had  the  pinkish  look  of  a  wax  doll,  but  lacked  the 
doll's  roundness  of  limb  and  approximation  to  correctness  of 
form  and  justness  of  proportion.  Mr.  Gandhi  explained  every- 
thing to  us.  He  was  delegate  to  the  Chicago  Fair  Congress  of 
Religions.  It  was  lucidly  done,  in  masterly  English,  but  in 
time  it  faded  from  me,  and  now  I  have  nothing  left  of  that 
episode  but  an  impression:  a  dim  idea  of  a  religious  belief 
clothed  in  subtle  intellectual  forms,  lofty  and  clean,  barren  of 
fleshly  grossnesses ;  and  with  this  another  dim  impression 
which  connects  that  intellectual  system  somehow  with  that 
crude  image,  that  inadequate  idol  —  how,  I  do  not  know. 
Properly  they  do  not  seem  to  belong  together.  Apparently 
the  idol  symbolized  a  person  who  had  become  a  saint  or  a  god 
through  accessions  of   steadily  augmenting  holiness   acquired 

through  a  series  of  reincarnations  and  promotions  extending 

(379) 


380  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

over  many  ages:  and  was  now  at  last  a  saint  and  qualified  to 
vicariously  receive  worship  and  transmit  it  to  heaven's  chan- 
cellery.    Was  that  it  \ 

And  thence  we  went  to  Mr.  Premchand  Roychand's  bun- 
galow, in  Lovelane,  Byculla,  where  an  Indian  prince  was  to 
receive  a  deputation  of  the  Jain  community  who  desired  to 
congratulate  him  upon  a  high  honor  lately  conferred  upon 
him  by  his  sovereign,  Victoria,  Empress  of  India.  She  had 
made  him  a  knight  of  the  order  of  the  Star  of  India.  It  would 
seem  that  even  the  grandest  Indian  prince  is  glad  to  add  the 
modest  title  "Sir"  to  his  ancient  native  grandeurs,  and  is 
willing  to  do  valuable  service  to  win  it.  He  will  remit  taxes 
liberally,  and  will  spend  money  freely  upon  the  betterment  of 
the  condition  of  his  subjects,  if  there  is  a  knighthood  to  be 
gotten  by  it.  And  he  will  also  do  good  work  and  a  deal  of  it 
to  (ret  a  gun  added  to  the  salute  allowed  him  by  the  British 
Government.  Every  year  the  Empress  distributes  knight- 
hoods and  adds  guns  for  public  services  done  by  native  princes. 
The  salute  of  a  small  prince  is  three  or  four  guns  ;  princes  of 
greater  consequence  have  salutes  that  run  higher  and  higher, 
gun  by  gun, —  oh,  clear  away  up  to  eleven;  possibly  more,  but 
I  did  not  hear  of  any  above  eleven-gun  princes.  I  was  told 
that  when  a  four-gun  prince  gets  a  gnu  added,  he  is  pretty 
troublesome  for  a  while,  till  the  novelty  wears  off,  for  he  likes 
the  music,  and  keeps  hunting  up  pretexts  to  get  himself 
saluted.  It  may  be  that  supremely  grand  folk,  like  the  Nyzara 
of  Hyderabad  and  the  Gaikwar  of  Baroda,  have  more  than 
eleven  guns,  but  I  don't  know. 

When  we  arrived  at  the  bungalow,  the  large  hall  on  the 
ground  floor  was  already  about  full,  and  carriages  were  still 
flowing  into  the  grounds.  The  company  present  made  a  fine 
show,  an  exhibition  of  human  fireworks,  so  to  speak,  in  the 
matters  of  costume  and  commiuglings  of  brilliant  color.     The 


a   six   <u;x  PRINCE.  38] 

variety  of  form  noticeable  in  the  display  of  turbans  was 
remarkable.  "We  were  told  that  the  explanation  of  this  was, 
that  this  Jain  delegation  was  drawn  from  many  parts  of  India, 
and  that  each  man  wore  the  turban  that  was  in  vogue  in  his 
own  region.  This  diversity  of  turbans  made  a  beautiful  effect. 
I  could  have  wished  to  start  a  rival  exhibition  there,  of 
Christian  hats  and  clothes.  I  would  have  cleared  one  side  of 
the  room  of  its  Indian  splendors  and  repacked  the  space  with 
Christians  drawn  from  America,  England,  and  the  Colonies, 
dressed  in  the  hats  and  habits  of  now,  and  of  twenty  and 
forty  and  fifty  years  ago.  It  would  have  been  a  hideous 
exhibition,  a  thoroughly  devilish  spectacle.  Then  there  would 
have  been  the  added  disadvantage  of  the  white  complexion. 
It  is  not  an  unbearably  unpleasant  complexion  when  it  keeps 
to  itself,  but  when  it  comes  into  competition  with  masses  of 
brown  and  black  the  fact  is  betrayed  that  it  is  endurable  only 
because  we  are  used  to  it.  Nearly  all  black  and  brown  skins 
are  beautiful,  but  a  beautiful  white  skin  is  rare.  How  rare, 
one  may  learn  by  walking  down  a  street  in  Paris,  Xew  York, 
or  London  on  a  week-day --particularly  an  unfashionable 
street — and  keeping  count  of  the  satisfactory  complexions 
encountered  in  the  course  of  a  mile.  \Yhere  dark  com- 
plexions are  massed,  they  make  the  whites  look  bleached- 
out,  unwholesome,  and  sometimes  frankly  ghastly.      I  could 

■J  O  v 

notice  this  as  a  boy,  down  South  in  the  slavery  days  before  the 
war.  The  splendid  black  satin  skin  of  the  South  African 
Zulus  of  Durban  seemed  to  me  to  come  very  close  to  perfec- 
tion. I  can  see  those  Zulus  yet  -  -  'ricksha  athletes  waiting  in 
front  of  the  hotel  for  custom  ;  handsome  and  intensely  black 
creatures,  moderately  clothed  in  loose  summer  stuffs  whose 
snowy  whiteness  made  the  black  all  the  blacker  by  contrast. 
Keeping  that  group  in  my  mind,  I  can  compare  those  com- 
plexions with  the  white  ones  which  are  streaming  past  this 
London  window  now  : 


382 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


A  lady.     Complexion,  new  parchment. 

Another  lad  v.  Complexion,  old  parch- 
ment. 

Another.      Pink  and  white,  very  line. 

Man.    Grayish  skin,  with  purple  areas. 

Man.     Unwholesome  fish-belly  skin. 

Girl.  Sallow  face,  sprinkled  with 
freckles. 

Old  woman.     Face  whitey-eray. 

Young-  butcher.  Face  a  general  red 
flush. 

Jaundiced  man  —  mustard  yellow. 

Elderly  lady.  Colorless  skin,  with 
two  conspicuous  moles. 

Elderly  man — a  drinker.  Boiled- 
cauliflower  nose  in  a  flabby  face  veined 
with  purple  crinklings. 

Healthy  young  gentleman.  Fine  fresh 
complexion. 

Sick  young  man.  His  face  a  ghastly 
white. 


PERFECT  COMPLEXIONS.  383 

No  end  of  people  whose  skins  arc  dull  and  characterless 
modifications  of  the  lint  which  we  miscall  white  Some  of  these 
faces  are  pimply ;  some  exhibit  other  signs  of  diseased  blood; 
some  show  scars  of  a  tint  out  of  a  harmony  with  the  surround- 
ing shades  of  color.  The  white  man's  complexion  makes  no 
concealments.  It  can't.  It  seemed  to  have  been  designed  as 
a  catch-all  for  everything  that  can  damage  it.  Ladies  have  to 
paint  it.  and  powder  it.  and  cosmetic  it,  and  diet  it  with  arsenic, 
and  enamel  it,  and  be  always  enticing  it,  and  persuading  it, 
and  pestering  it.  and  fussing  at  it,  to  make  it  beautiful;  and 
they  do  not  succeed.  But  these  efforts  show  what  they  think 
of  the  natural  complexion,  as  distributed.  As  distributed  it 
n  seds  these  helps.  The  complexion  which  they  try  to  counter- 
feit is  one  which  nature  restricts  to  the  few--  to  the  very  few. 
To  ninety-nine  persons  she  gives  a  had  complexion,  to  the. 
hundredth  a  good  one.  The  hundredth  can  keep  it  —  how 
long?     Ten  years,  perhaps. 

The  advantage  is  with  the  Zulu,  I  think.  He  starts  with  a 
beautiful  complexion,  and  it  will  last  him  through.  And  as 
for  the  Indian  brown  -  -  firm,  smooth,  blemishless.  pleasant  and 
restful  to  the  eye.  afraid  of  no  color,  harmonizing  with  all 
colors  and  adding;  a  irrace  to  them  all-- I  think  there  is  no 
sort  of  chance  for  the  average  white  complexion  against  that 
rich  and  perfect  tint. 

To  return  to  the  bungalow.  The  most  gorgeous  costumes 
present  were  worn  by  some  children.  They  seemed  to  blaze, 
so  bright  were  the  colors,  and  so  brilliant  the  jewels  strung- 
over  the  rich  materials.  These  children  were  professional 
nautch-dancers.  and  looked  like  girls,  but  they  were  boys. 
They  got  up  by  ones  and  twos  and  fours,  and  danced  and  sang 
to  an  accompaniment  of  weird  music.  Their  posturings  and 
gesturings  were  elaborate  and  graceful,  but  their  voices  were 
stringently  raspy  and  unpleasant,  and  there  was  a  good  deal 
of  monotony  about  the  tune. 


384  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

By  and  by  there  was  a  burst  of  shouts  and  cheers  outside 
and  the  prince  with  his  train  entered  in  fine  dramatic  style. 
He  was  a  stately  man,  he  was  ideally  costumed,  and  fairly 
festooned  with  ropes  of  gems  ;  some  of  the  ropes  were  of  pearls, 
some  were  of  uncut  great  emeralds — emeralds  renowned  in 
Bombay  for  their  quality  and  value.  Their  size  was  marvelous, 
and  enticing  to  the  eye,  those  rocks.  A  boy  —  a  princeling 
-was  with  the  prince,  and  he  also  was  a  radiant  exhibition. 
The  ceremonies  were  not  tedious.  The  prince  strode  to  his 
throne  with  the  port  and  majesty  —  and  the  sternness  —  of  a 
Julius  Caesar  coming  to  receive  and  receipt  for  a  back-country 
kingdom  and  have  it  over  and  get  out,  and  no  fooling.  There 
was  a  throne  for  the  young  prince,  too,  and  the  two  sat  there, 
side  by  side,  with  their  officers  grouped  at  either  hand  and 
most  accurately  and  creditably  reproducing  the  pictures  which 
one  sees  in  the  books  —  pictures  which  people  in  the  prince's 
line  of  business  have  been  furnishing  ever  since  Solomon  re- 
ceived the  Queen  of  Sheba  and  showed  her  his  things.  The 
chief  of  the  Jain  delegation  read  his  paper  of  congratulations, 
then  pushed  it  into  a  beautifully  engraved  silver  cylinder,  which 
was  delivered  with  ceremony  into  the  prince's  hands  and  at 
once  delivered  by  him  without  ceremony  into  the  hands  of  an 
officer.  I  will  copy  the  address  here.  It  is  interesting,  as 
showing  what  an  Indian  prince's  subject  may  have  opportunity 
to  thank  him  for  in  these  days  of  modern  English  rule,  as 
contrasted  with  what  his  ancestor  would  have  given  them 
opportunity  to  thank  him  for  a  century  and  a  half  ago-  the 
days  of  freedom  unhampered  by  English  interference.  A  cen- 
tury and  a  half  ago  an  address  of  thanks  could  have  been  put 
into  small  space.     It  would  have  thanked  the  prince  - 

1.  For  not  slaughtering  too  many  of  his  people  upon  mere  caprice  ; 

2.  For  not  stripping  them  bare  by  sudden  and  arbitrary  tax  levies,  and 
bringing  famine  upon  them  ; 

3.  For  not  upon  empty  pretext  destroying  the  rich  and   seizing  their 
property  ; 


CONGRATULATIONS  TO   A   PRINCE.  385 

4.  For  not  killing,  blinding,  imprisoning,  or  banishing  the  relatives  of  the 
royal  house  to  protect  the  throne  from  possible  plots  ; 

5.  For  not  betraying  the  subject  secretly,  for  a  bribe,  into  the  hands  of 
bands  of  professional  Thugs,  to  be  murdered  and  robbed  in  the  prince's  back  lot. 

Those  were  rather  common  princely  industries  in  the  old 
times,  but  they  and  some  others  of  a  harsh  sort  ceased  long- 
ago  under  English  rule.  Better  industries  have  taken  their 
place,  as  this  Address  from  the  Jain  community  will  show  : 

"  Your  Highness, —  We  the  undersigned  members  of  the  Jain  community 
of  Bombay  have  the  pleasure  to  approach  your  Highness  with  the  expression 
of  our  heartfelt  congratulations  on  the  recent  conference  on  your  Highness 
of  the  Knighthood  of  the  Most  Exalted  Order  of  the  Star  of  India  Ten 
years  ago  we  had  the  pleasure  and  privilege  of  welcoming  your  Highness  to 
this  city  under  circumstances  which  have  made  a  memorable  epoch  in  the 
history  of  your  State,  for  had  it  not  been  for  a  generous  and  reasonable  spirit 
that  your  Highness  displayed  in  the  negotiations  between  the  Palitana  Durbar 
and  the  Jain  community,  the  conciliatory  spirit  that  animated  our  people 
could  not  have  borne  fruit.  That  was  the  first  step  in  your  Highness's  ad- 
ministration, and  it  fitly  elicited  the  praise  of  the  Jain  community,  and  of  the 
Bombay  Government.  A  decade  of  your  Highness's  administration,  combined 
with  the  abilities,  training,  and  acquirements  that  your  Highness  brought  to 
bear  upon  it,  has  justly  earned  for  your  Highness  the  unique  and  honourable 
distinction  —  the  Knighthood  of  the  Most  Exalted  Order  of  the  Star  of  India, 
which  we  understand  your  Highness  is  the  first  to  enjoy  among  Chiefs  of 
your  Highness's  rank  and  standing.  And  we  assure  your  Highness  that  for 
this  mark  of  honour  that  has  been  conferred  on  you  by  Her  Most  Gracious 
Majesty,  the  Queen-Empress,  we  feel  no  le-s  proud  than  your  Highness. 
Establishment  of  commercial  factories,  schools,  hospitals,  etc  ,  by  your  High- 
ness in  your  State  has  marked  your  Highness's  career  during  these  ten  years, 
and  we  trust  that  your  Highness  will  be  spared  to  rule  over  your  people  with 
wisdom  and  foresight,  and  foster  the  many  reforms  that  your  Highness  has 
been  pleased  to  introduce  in  your  State.  We  again  offer  your  Highness  our 
warmest  felicitations  for  the  honour  that  has  been  conferred  on  you.  We 
beg  to  remain  your  Highness's  obedient  servants." 

Factories,  schools,  hospitals,  reforms.  The  prince  propa- 
gates that  kind  of  things  in  the  modern  times,  and  gets  knight- 
hood and  guns  for  it. 

After   the  address  the   prince   responded   with   snap  and 

brevity  ;  spoke  a  moment  with  half  a  dozen  guests  in  English, 

and   with   an   official   or  two  in  a  native  tongue;    then  the 

garlands  were  distributed  as  usual,  and  the  function  ended. 
25 


CHAPTER  XLIL 

Each  person  is  born  to  one  possession  which  outvalues  all  his  others — bis  last 
breath. — PtuhV nlwad  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

TOWARD  midnight,  that  night,  there  was  another  f mic- 
tion. This  was  a  Hindoo  wedding  —  no,  I  think  it 
was  a  betrothal  ceremony.  Always  before,  Ave  had 
driven  through  streets  that  were  multitudinous  and  tumultuous 
with  picturesque  native  life,  but  now  there  was  nothing  of  that. 
We  seemed  to  move  through  a  city  of  the  dead.  There  was 
hardly  a  suggestion  of  life  in  those  still  and  vacant  streets. 
Even  the  crows  were  silent.  But  everywhere  on  the  ground 
lay  sleeping  natives  —  hundreds  and  hundreds.  They  lav 
stretched  at  full  length  and  tightly  wrapped  in  blankets,  heads 
and  all.  Their  attitude  and  their  rigidity  counterfeited  death. 
The  plague  was  not  in  Bombay  then,  but  it  is  devasting  the 
city  now.  The  shops  are  deserted,  now,  half  of  the  people 
have  fled,  and  of  the  remainder  the  smitten  perish  by  shoals 
every  day.  No  doubt  the  city  looks  now  in  the  daytime  as  it 
looked  then  at  night.  When  we  had  pierced  deep  into  the  na- 
tive quarter  and  were  threading  its  narrow  dim  lanes,  we  had 
to  go  carefully,  for  men  were  stretched  asleep  all  about  and 
there  was  hardly  room  to  drive  between  them.  And  every 
now  and  then  a  swarm  of  rats  would  scamper  across  past  the 
horses'  feet  in  the  vague  light  —  the  forbears  of  the  rats  that 
are  carrying  the  plague  from  house  to  house  in  Bombay  now. 
The  shops  were  but  sheds,  little  booths  open  to  the  street;  and 
the  goods  had  been  removed,  and  on  the  counters  families  were 
sleeping,  usually  with  an  oil  lamp  present.  Recurrent  dead- 
watches,  it  looked  like.  (386  J 


HINDOO   BETROTHAL   CEREMONIES. 


387 


MIDNIGHT    IN    A    BOMBAY    STREET. 


But  at  last  we  turned  a  corner  and  saw  a  great  glare  of  light 
ahead.  It  was  the  home  of  the  bride,  wrapped  in  a  perfect 
conflagration  of  illuminations,  —  mainly  gas-work  designs, 
gotten  up  specially  for  the  occasion.  Within  was  abundance  of 
brilliancy --flames,  costumes,  colors,  decorations,  mirrors  —  it 
was  another  Aladdin  show. 

The  bride  was  a  trim  and  comelv  little  thing  of  twelve 
years,  dressed  as  we  would  dress  a  boy,  though  more  expen- 
sively than  we  should  do  it.  of  course.  She  moved  about  verv 
much  at  her  ease,  and  stopped  and  talked  with  the  guests  and 
allowed  her  wedding  iewelrv  to  be  examined.  It  was  very  tine. 
Particularly  a  rope  of  great  diamonds,  a  lovely  thing  to  look 
at  and  handle.     It  had  a  great  emerald  hanging  to  it. 


;;ss 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


The  bridegroom  was  not  present.  lie  was  having  betrothal 
festivities  of  his  own  at  his  father's  house.  As  I  understood  it, 
he  and  the  bride  were  to  entertain  company  every  night  and 
nearly  all  night  for  a  week  or  more,  then  get  married,  if  alive. 
Both  of  the  children  were  a  little  elderly,  as  brides  and  grooms 
go,  in  India  --twelve  ;  they  ought  to  have  been  married  a  year 

or  two  sooner;  still  to  a  stranger  twelve 
seems  quite  voung-  enough. 

A  while  after  midnight  a  couple  of 
celebrated  and  high-priced  nautch-girls  ap- 
peared in  the  gorgeous  place,  and  danced 
and  sang.  With  them  were 
men  who  played  upon  strange 
instruments  which  made  un- 
canny noises  of  a  sort  to  make 
one's  flesh  creep.  One  of  these 
instruments  was  a  pipe,  and  to 
its  music  the  girls  went  through 
a  performance  which  represen- 
ted snake-charming.  It  seemed 
a  doubtful  sort  of  music  to 
charm  anything  with,  but  a 
native  gentleman  assured  me 
that  snakes  like  it  and  will  come  out  of  their  holes  and  listen 
to  it  with  every  evidence  of  refreshment  and  gratitude.  He 
said  that  at  an  entertainment  in  his  grounds  once,  the  pipe 
brought  out  half  a  dozen  snakes,  and  the  music  had  to  be  stopped 
before  they  would  be  persuaded  to  go.  Nobody  wanted  their 
company,  for  they  were  bold,  familiar,  and  dangerous ;  but 
no  one  would  kill  them,  of  course,  for  it  is  sinful  for  a  Hindoo 
to  kill  any  kind  of  a  creature. 

We  withdrew  from  the  festivities  at  two  in  the  morning. 
Another  picture,  then  —  but  it  has  lodged  itself  in  my  memory 


A   HIGH   PRICED   NAUTCH   GIRL. 


ANOTHER  NIGHT   SCENE. 


389 


rather  as  a  stage-scene  than  as  a  reality.  It  is  of  a  porch  and 
short  flight  of  steps  crowded  with  dark  faces  and  ghostly-white 
draperies  flooded  with  the  strong  glare  from  the  dazzling  con- 
centration of  illuminations  ;  and  midway  of  the  steps  one  con- 
spicuous figure  for  accent  —  a  turbaned  giant,  with  a  name 
according  to  his  size  :  Kao  Bahadur  Baskirao  Balinkanje  Pitale, 
Vakeel  to  his  Highness  the  Gaikwar  of  Baroda.  Without  him 
the  picture  would  not  have  been  complete  ;  and  if  his  name  had 
been  merely  Smith,  he  wouldn't  have  answered.  Close  at  hand 
on  house-fronts  on  both  sides  of  the  narrow  street  were  illum- 
inations of  a  kind  commonly  employed  by  the  natives  —  scores 
of  glass  tumblers 
(containing  tapers) 
fastened  a  few  in- 
ches apart  all  over 
great  latticed 
frames,  forming- 
starry  constella- 
tions which  showed 
out  vividly  against 
their  black  back- 
grounds. As  we 
drew  away  into  the  distance  down  the  dim  lanes  the  illum- 
inations gathered  together  into  a  single  mass,  and  glowed  out  of 
the  enveloping  darkness  like  a  sun. 

Then  again  the  deep  silence,  the  skurrying  rats,  the  dim 
forms  stretched  everywhere  on  the  ground ;  and  on  either 
hand  those  open  booths  counterfeiting  sepulchres,  with  coun- 
terfeit corpses  sleeping  motionless  in  the  flicker  of  the  counter- 
feit death  lamps.  And  now,  a  year  later,  when  I  read  the 
cablegrams  I  seem  to  be  reading  of  what  I  myself  partly  saw 
—  saw  before  it  happened --in  a  prophetic  dream,  as  it  were. 
One  cablegram  says,  "  Business  in   the  native  town   is  about 


XAUTCH   DAM  £NG 


390  FOLLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

suspended.  Except  the  Availing  and  the  tramp  of  the  funerals. 
There  is  but  little  life  or  movement.  The  closed  shops  exceed 
in  number  those  that  remain  open."  Another  says  that  325,- 
000  of  the  people  have  fled  the  city  and  are  carrying  the  plague 
to  the  country.  Three  days  later  comes  the  news,  "  The  popu- 
lation is  reduced  by  half."  The  refugees  have  carried  the 
disease  to  Karachi;  "220  cases,  214  deaths."  A  day  or  two 
later,  "  52  fresh  cases,  all  of  which  proved  fatal." 

The  plague  carries  with  it  a  terror  which  no  other  disease 
can  excite ;  for  of  all  diseases  known  to  men  it  is  the  deadliest 
—  bv  far  the  deadliest.  "Fifty-two  fresh  cases  —  all  fatal." 
It  is  the  Black  Death  alone  that  slays  like  that.  We  can  all 
imagine,  after  a  fashion,  the  desolation  of  a  plague-stricken 
city,  and  the  stupor  of  stillness  broken  at  intervals  by  distant 
bursts  of  wailing,  marking  the  passing  of  funerals,  here  and  there 
and  yonder,  but  I  suppose  it  is  not  possible  for  us  to  realize 
to  ourselves  the  nightmare  of  dread  and  fear  that  possesses 
the  living  who  are  present  in  such  a  place  and  cannot  get  away. 
That  half  million  fled  from  Bombay  in  a  wild  panic  suggests 
to  us  something  of  what  they  were  feeling,  but  perhaps  not 
even  they  could  realize  what  the  half  million  were  feeling 
whom  they  left  stranded  behind  to  face  the  stalking  horror 
without  chance  of  escape.  Kinglake  was  in  Cairo  many  years 
ago  during  an  epidemic  of  the  Black  Death,  and  he  has 
imagined  the  terrors  that  creep  into  a  man's  heart  at  such  a 
time  and  follow  him  until  they  themselves  breed  the  fatal  sign 
in  the  armpit,  and  then  the  delirium  with  confused  images,  ami 
home-dreams,  and  reeling  billiard-tables,  and  then  the  sudden 

blank  of  death  : 

"  To  the  eontagionist,  filled  as  he  is  with  the  dread  of  final  causes,  having 
no  faith  in  destiny,  nor  in  the  fixed  will  of  God,  ami  with  none  of  the  devil- 
may-care  indifference  which  might  stand  him  instead  of  creeds  — to  such  one, 
every  rag  that  shivers  in  the  hreeze  of  a  plague-stricken  city  has  this  sort  of 
sublimity.  If  by  any  terrible  ordinance  he  be  forced  to  venture  forth,  be  sees 
death  dangling  from  every  sleeve  ;  and.  as  he  creeps  forward,  he  poises  his 


THE    PLAGUE.  39] 

shuddering  limbs  between  the  imminent  jacket  that  is  stabbing  al  his  right 
elbow  and  the  murderous  pelisse  that  threatens  to  mow  him  clean  down  as  it 
sweeps  along  on  his  left.  But  most  of  all  he  dreads  that  which  most  of  all  he 
should  love  —  the  touch  of  a  woman's  dress;  for  mothers  and  wives,  hurrying 
forth  on  kindly  errands  from  the  bedsides  of  the  dying,  go  slouching  along 
through  the  streets  more  willfully  and  less  courteously  than  the  men.  For  a 
while  it  may  be  that  the  caution  of  the  poor  Levantine  may  enable  him  to 
avoid  contact,  but  sooner  or  later,  perhaps,  the  dreaded  chance  arrives ;  that 
bundle  of  linen,  with  the  dark  tearful  eyes  at  the  top  of  it,  that  labors  along 
with  the  voluptuous  clumsiness  of  Grisi  —  she  has  touched  the  poor  Levantine 
with  the  hem  of  her  sleeve  !  From  that  dread  moment  his  peace  i<  gone  ;  his 
mind  for  ever  hanging  upon  the  fatal  touch  invites  the  blow  which  he  fears  ; 
he  watches  for  the  symptoms  of  plague  so  carefully,  that  sooner  or  later  they 
come  in  truth.  The  parched  mouth  is  a  sign  —  his  mouth  is  parched;  the 
throbbing  brain  —  his  brain  dues  throb  ;  the  rapid  pulse  —  he  touches  his  own 
wrist  (for  he  dares  not  ask  counsel  of  any  man  lest  lie  be  deserted),  he  touches 
his  wrist,  and  feels  how  his  frighted  blood  goes  galloping  ovit  of  his  heart. 
There  is  nothing  but  the  fatal  swelling  that  is  wanting  to  make  Ins  sad  con- 
viction complete  :  immediately,  he  has  an  odd  feel  under  tin-  arm — no  pain, 
but  a  little  straining  of  the  skin  ;  he  would  to  God  it  we're  his  fancy  that  were 
Strong  enough  to  give  him  that  sensation  ;  this  is  the  worst  of  all.  It  now 
seems  to  him  that  he  could  be  happy  and  contented  with  his  parched  mouth, 
and  his  throbbing  brain,  and  his  rapid  pulse,  if  only  he  could  know  that  there 
were  no  swelling  under  the  left  arm:  but  dares  he  try  ?  —  in  a  moment  of 
calmness  and  deliberation  he  dares  not  ;  but  when  for  a  while  he  has  writhed 
under  the  torture  of  suspense,  a  sudden  strength  of  will  drives  him  to  seek 
and  know  his  fate  :  he  touches  the  gland,  and  finds  the  skin  sane  and  sound 
but  under  the  cuticle  there  lies  a  small  lump  like  a  pistol-bullet,  that  moves  as 
he  pushes  it.  Oh  !  but  is  this  for  all  certainty,  is  this  the  sentence  of  death  '.' 
Feel  the  gland  of  the  other  arm.  There  is  not  the  same  lump  exactly,  yet 
something  a  little  like  it.  Have  not  some  people  glands  naturally  enlarged  ? 
—  would  to  heaven  he  were  one!  So  he  does  for  himself  the  work  of  the 
plague,  and  when  the  Angel  of  Death  thus  courted  does  indeed  and  in  truth 
come,  he  has  only  to  finish  that  which  has  been  so  well  begun  ;  he  passes  his 
fiery  hand  over  the  brain  of  the  victim,  and  lets  him  rave  for  a  season,  but  all 
chance  wise,  of  people  and  things  once  dear,  or  of  people  and  things  indiffer- 
ent. Once  more  the  poor  fellow  is  back  at  his  home  in  fair  Provence,  and 
sees  the  sun-dial  that  stood  in  his  childhood's  garden — sees  his  mother,  and 
the  long-since-forgotten  face  of  that  little  dear  sister  —  (he  sees  her,  he  says, 
on  a  Sunday  morning,  for  all  the  church  bells  are  ringing);  he  looks  up  and 
down  through  the  universe,  and  owns  it  well  piled  with  bales  upon  bales  of 
cotton,  and  cotton  eternal  —  so  much  so  —  that  he  feels — he  knows — he 
swears  he  could  make  that  winning  hazard,  if  the  billiard-table  woidd  n<  t 
slant  upwards,  and  if  the  cue  were  a  cue  worth  playing  with  ;  but  it  is  not  — 
it's  a  cue  that  won't  move  —  his  own  arm  won't  move  —  in  short,  there's  the 
devil  to  pay  in  the  brain  of  the  poor  Levantine  ;  and  perhaps,  the  next  night 
but  one  he  becomes  the  "  life  and  the  soul  "  of  some  squalling  jackal  family, 
who  tish  him  out  bv  the  foot  from  his  shallow  and  saudv  grave." 


CHAPTER   XLIII. 

Hunger  is  the  handmaid  of  genius. —  Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

XE  dav  during  our  stay  in  Bombay  there  was  a  criminal 
trial  of  a  most  interesting  sort,  a  terribly  realistic 
chapter  out  of  the  "Arabian  Nights,"  a  strange  mix- 
ture of  simplicities  and  pieties  and  murderous  practicalities, 
which  brought  back  the  forgotten  days  of  Thuggee  and  made 
them  liye  again ;  in  fact,  eyen  made  them  believable.  It  was 
a  case  where  a  young  girl  had  been  assassinated  for  the  sake 
of  her  trilling  ornaments,  things  not  worth  a  laborer's  day's 
wages  in  America.  This  thing  could  have  been  done  in  many 
other  countries,  but  hardly  with  the  cold  business-like  deprav- 
ity, absence  of  fear,  absence  of  caution,  destitution  of  the 
sense  of  horror,  repentance,  remorse,  exhibited  in  this  case. 
Elsewhere  the  murderer  would  have  done  his  crime  secretly, 
by  night,  and  without  witnesses ;  his  fears  would  have  allowed 
him  no  peace  while  the  dead  body  was  in  his  neighborhood  ; 
he  would  not  have  rested  until  he  had  gotten  it  safe  out  of  the 
way  and  hidden  as  effectually  as  he  could  hide  it.  But  this 
Indian  murderer  does  his  deed  in  the  full  light  of  dav,  cares 
nothing  for  the  society  of  witnesses,  is  in  no  way  incom- 
moded  by  the  presence  of  the  corpse,  takes  his  own  time  about 
disposing  of  it,  and  the  whole  party  are  so  indifferent,  so 
phlegmatic,  that  they  take  their  regular  sleep  as  if  nothing 
was  happening  and  no  halters  hanging  over  them  ;  and  these 
five  bland  people  close  the  episode  with  a  religious  seryice. 
The  tiling  reads  like  a  Meadows-Taylor  Thug-tale  of  half  a 
century  ago,  as  may  be  seen  by  the  official  report  of  the  trial: 

(392) 


A   TRIAL   FOR  MURDER.  393 

"At  the  Mazagon  Police  Court  yesterday,  Superintendent  Xolan  again 
charged  Tookarain  Suntoo  Savat  Baya,  woman,  her  daughter  Krishni,  and 
Gopal  Vithoo  Bhauayker,  before  Mr.  Phiroze  Hoshaug  Dastur.  Fourth  Presi- 
dency Magistrate,  under  sections  302  and  109  of  the  Code,  with  having  on  the 
night  of  the  30th  of  December  last  murdered  a  Hindoo  girl  named  Cassi.  aged 
12,  by  strangulation,  in  the  room  of  a  chawl  at  Jakarta  Bunder,  on  the  Sewri- 
road,  and  also  with  aiding  and  abetting  each  other  in  the  commission  of  the 
offense. 

"  Mr.  F.  A.  Little,  Public  Prosecutor,  conducted  the  case  on  behalf  of  the 
Crown,  the  accused  being  undefended. 

"Mr.  Little  applied  under  the  provisions  of  the  Criminal  Procedure  Code 
to  tender  pardon  to  one  of  the  accused,  Krishni,  woman,  aged  22.  on  her 
undertaking  to  make  a  true  and  full  statement  of  facts  under  which  the 
deceased  girl  Cassi  was  murdered. 

"The  Magistrate  having  granted  the  Public  Prosecutor's  application,  the 
accused  Krishni  went  into  the  witness-box,  and,  on  being  examined  by  Mr. 
Little,  made  the  following  confession:  —  I  am  a  null  hand  employed  at  the 
Jubilee  Mill.  I  recollect  the  day  (Tuesday  on  which  the  body  of  the  deceased 
Cassi  was  found.  Previous  to  that  I  attended  the  mill  for  half  a  day,  and 
then  returned  home  at  3  in  the  afternoon,  when  I  saw  rive  persons  in  the 
house,  viz.  :  the  first  accused  Tookaram.  who  is  my  paramour,  my  mother, 
the  second  accused  Baya,  the  accused  Gopal,  and  two  guests  named  Ramji 
Daji  and  Annaji  Gungaram.  Tookaram  rented  the  room  of  the  chawl  situ- 
ated at  Jakaria  Bunder-road  from  its  owner,  Girdharilal  Radhakishan,  and  in 
that  room  I.  my  paramour.  Tookaram,  and  his  younger  brother,  Yesso 
Mahadhoo,  live.  Since  his  arrival  in  Bombay  from  his  native  country  Yesso 
came  and  lived  with  us.  When  I  returned  from  the  mill  on  the  afternoon  of 
that  day,  I  saw  the  two  guests  seated  on  a  cot  in  the  veranda,  and  a  few 
minutes  after  the  accused  Gopal  came  and  took  his  seat  by  their  side,  while  I 
and  my  mother  were  seated  inside  the  room.  Tookaram.  who  had  gone  out 
to  fetch  some  pan  and  betelnuts,  on  his  return  home  had  brought  the  two 
guests  with  him.  After  returning  home  he  gave  them  pan  supari.  While 
they  were  eating  it  my  mother  came  out  of  the  room  and  inquired  of  one 
of  the  guests.  Ram  ji,  what  had  happened  to  his  foot,  when  he  replied  that  he 
had  tried  many  remedies,  but  they  had  done  him  no  good.  My  mother  then 
took  some  rice  in  her  hand  and  prophesied  that  the  disease  which  Ramji  was 
suffering  from  would  not  be  cured  until  he  returned  to  his  native  country. 
In  the  meantime  the  deceased  Cassi  came  from  the  direction  of  an  out-house, 
and  stood  in  front  on  the  threshhold  of  our  room  with  a  l<>tn  in  her  hand. 
Tookaram  then  told  his  two  guests  to  leave  the  room,  and  they  then  went  up 
the  steps  towards  the  quarry.  After  the  guests  had  gone  away.  Tookaram 
seized  the  deceased,  who  had  come  into  the  room,  and  he  afterwards  put  a 
waistband  around  her.  and  tied  her  to  a  post  which  supports  a  loft.  After 
doing  this,  he  pressed  the  girl's  throat,  and,  having  tied  her  mouth  with  the 
dhotur  (now  shown  in  Court),  fastened  it  to  the  post.  Having  killed  the  girl, 
Tookaram  removed  her  gold  head  ornament  and  a  gold  putlee.  and  also  took 
charge  of  her  lota.    Besides  these  two  ornaments  Cassi  had  on  her  person  ear- 


394  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

studs,  a  nose-ring,  some  silver  toe-rings,  two  necklaces,  a  pair  of  silver  anklets 
and  bracelets.  Tookaram  afterwards  tried  to  remove  the  silver  amulets,  the 
ear-studs,  and  the  nose-ring  ;  but  he  failed  in  his  attempt.  While  he  was 
doing  so,  I,  my  mother,  and  Gopal  were  present  After  removing  the  two 
gold  ornaments,  he  handed  them  over  to  Gopal,  who  was  at  the  time  standing 
near  me.  When  he  killed  Cassi,  Tookaram  threatened  to  strangle  me  also  if 
I  informed  any  one  of  this.  Gopal  and  myself  were  then  standing  at  the 
door  of  our  room,  and  we  both  were  threatened  by  Tookaram.  My  mother, 
Baj'a,  had  seized  the  legs  of  the  deceased  at  the  time  she  was  killed,  and 
whilst  she  was  being  tied  to  the  post.  Cassi  then  made  a  noise.  Tookaram 
and  my  mother  took  part  in  killing  the  girl.  After  the  murder  her  body  was 
wrapped  up  in  a  mattress  and  kept  on  the  loft  over  the  door  of  our  room. 
When  Cassi  was  strangled,  the  door  of  the  room  was  fastened  from  the  inside 
by  Tookaram.  This  deed  was  committed  shortly  after  my  return  home  from 
work  in  the  mill.  Tookaram  put  the  body  of  the  deceased  in  the  mattress, 
and,  after  it  was  left  on  the  loft,  he  went  to  have  his  head  shaved  by  a  barber 
named  Sambhoo  Raghoo,  who  lives  only  one  door  away  from  me.  My  mother 
and  myself  then  remained  in  the  possession  of  the  information.  I  was  clapped 
and  threatened  by  my  paramour,  Tookaram,  and  that  was  the  only  reason 
why  I  did  not  inform  any  one  at  that  time.  WThen  I  told  Tookaram  that  I 
would  give  information  of  the  occurrence,  he  slapped  me.  The  accused  Gopal 
was  asked  by  Tookaram  to  go  back  to  his  room,  and  he  did  so,  taking  away 
with  him  the  two  gold  ornaments  and  the  lota.  Yesso  Mahadhoo,  a  brother- 
in-law  of  Tookaram,  came  to  the  house  and  asked  Tookaram  why  he  was 
washing,  the  water-pipe  being  just  opposite.  Tookaram  replied  that  he  was 
washing  his  dliotur,  as  a  fowl  had  polluted  it.  About  6  o'clock  of  the  evening 
of  that  day  my  mother  gave  me  three  pice  and  asked  me  to  buy  a  cocoanut, 
and  I  gave  the  money  to  Yessoo,  who  went  and  fetched  a  cocoanut  and  some 
betel  leaves.  When  Yessoo  and  others  were  in  the  room  I  was  bathing,  and, 
after  I  finished  my  bath,  my  mother  took  the  cocoanut  and  the  betel  leaves 
from  Yessoo,  and  we  five  went  to  the  sea.  The  party  consisted  of  Tookaram, 
my  mother,  Yessoo,  Tookaram's  younger  brother,  and  myself.  On  reaching 
the  seashore,  my  mother  made  the  offering  to  the  sea,  and  prayed  to  be  par- 
doned for  what  we  had  done.  Before  we  went  to  the  sea,  some  one  came  to 
inquire  after  the  girl  Cassi.  The  police  and  other  people  came  to  make  these 
inquiries  both  before  and  after  we  left  the  house  for  the  seashore.  The  police 
questioned  my  mother  about  the  girl,  and  she  replied  that  Cassi  had  come  to 
her  door,  but  had  left.  The  next  day  the  police  questioned  Tookaram,  and 
he,  too,  gave  a  similar  reply.  This  was  said  the  same  night  when  the  search 
was  made  for  the  girl.  After  the  offering  was  made  to  the  sea,  we  partook  of 
the  cocoanut  and  returned  home,  when  my  mother  gave  me  some  food;  but 
Tookaram  did  not  partake  of  any  food  that  night.  After  dinner  I  and  my 
mother  slept  inside  the  room,  and  Tookaram  slept  on  a  cot  near  his  brother- 
in-law,  Yessoo  Mahadhoo,  just  outside  the  door.  That  was  not  the  usual 
place  where  Tookaram  slept.  He  usually  slept  inside  the  room.  The  body 
of  the  deceased  remained  on  the  loft  when  I  went  to  sleep.  The  room  in 
which  we  slept  was  locked,  and  I  heard  that  my  paramour,  Tookaram,   was 


THE   TESTIMONY.  :{<♦:, 

restless  outside.  About  3  o'clock  the  following  morning  Tookaram  knocked 
at  the  door,  when  both  myself  and  my  mother  opened  it.  He  then  told  me  to 
go  to  the  steps  leading  to  the  quarry,  and  see  if  any  one  was  about.  Those 
steps  lead  to  a  stable,  through  which  we  go  to  the  quarry  at  the  back  of  the  com- 
pound. When  I  got  to  the  steps  I  saw  no  one  there.  Tookaram  asked  me  if 
any  one  was  there,  and  I  replied  that  I  could  see  no  one  about.  He  then  took 
the  body  of  the  deceased  from  the  loft,  and.  having  wrapped  it  up  in  his  saree, 
asked  me  to  accompany  him  to  the  steps  of  the  quarry,  and  I  did  so.  The 
saree  now  produced  here  was  the  same.  Besides  the  saree,  there  was  also  a 
clwlee  on  the  body.  He  then  carried  the  body  in  his  arms,  and  went  up  the 
steps,  through  the  stable,  and  then  to  the  right  hand  towards  a  saliib's  bunga- 
low, where  Tookaram  placed  the  body  near  a  wall.  All  the  time  I  and  my 
mother  were  with  him.  When  the  body  was  taken  down,  Yessoo  was  lying 
on  the  cot.  After  depositing  the  body  under  the  wall,  we  all  returned  home, 
and  soon  after  5  a.  m.  the  police  again  came  and  took  Tookaram  away. 
About  an  hour  after  they  returned  anil  took  me  and  my  mother  away.  We 
wTere  questioned  about  it,  when  I  made  a  statement.  Two  hours  later  I 
was  taken  to  the  room,  and  I  pointed  out  this  waistband,  the  dhotur,  the  mat- 
tress, and  the  wooden  post  to  Superintendent  Nolan  and  Inspectors  Roberts 
and  Rashanali,  in  the  presence  of  my  mother  and  Tookaram.  Tookaram 
killed  the  girl  Cassi  for  her  ornaments,  which  he  wanted  for  the  girl  to  whom 
he  was  shortly  going  to  be  married.  The  body  was  found  in  the  same  place 
where  it  was  deposited  by  Tookaram." 

The  criminal  side  of  the  native  has  always  been  picturesque, 
always  readable.  The  Thuggee  and  one  or  two  other  particu- 
larly outrageous  features  of  it  have  been  suppressed  by  the 
English,  but  there  is  enough  of  it  left  to  keep  it  darkly  inter- 
esting. One  finds  evidence  of  these  survivals  in  the  news- 
papers.  Macaulay  has  a  light-throwing  passage  upon  this 
matter  in  his  great  historical  sketch  of  Warren  Hastings, 
where  he  is  describing  some  effects  which  followed  the  tem- 
porary paralysis  of  Hastings'  powerful  government  brought 
about  by  Sir  Philip  Francis  and  his  party : 

"  The  natives  considered  Hastings  as  a  fallen  man  ;  and  they  acted  after 
their  kind.  Some  of  our  readers  may  have  seen,  in  India,  a  cloud  of  crows 
pecking  a  sick  vulture  to  death  —  no  bad  type  of  what  happens  in  that  country 
as  often  as  fortune  deserts  one  who  has  been  great  and  dreaded.  In  an  instant 
all  the  sycophants,  who  had  lately  been  ready  to  lie  for  lain,  to  forge  for  him. 
to  pander  for  him,  to  poison  for  him,  hasten  to  purchase  the  favor  of  his 
victorious  enemies  by  accusing  him.  An  Indian  government  has  only  to  let 
it  be  understood  that  it  wishes  a  particular  man  to  be  ruined,  and  in  twenty- 
four  hours  it  will  be  furnished  with  grave  charges,  supported  by  depositions 
so  full  and  circumstantial  that  any  person  unaccustomed  to  Asiatic  mendacity 


396  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

would  regard  them  as  decisive.  It  is  well  if  the  signature  of  the  destined 
victim  is  not  counterfeited  at  the  foot  of  some  illegal  compact,  and  if  some 
treasonable  paper  is  not  slipped  into  a  hiding-place  in  his  house." 

That  was  nearly  a  cent  my  and  a  quarter  ago.     An  article 

in  one  of  the  chief  journals  of  India  (the  Pioneer)  shows  that 

in  some  respects  the  native  of  to-day  is  just  what  his  ancestor 

was  then.      Here  are  niceties  of  so  subtle  and  delicate  a  sort 

that  they  lift  their  breed  of  rascality  to  a  place  among  the  fine 

arts,  and  almost  entitle  it  to  respect  : 

"  The  records  of  the  Indian  courts  might  certainly  be  relied  upon  to  prove 
that  swindlers  as  a  class  in  the  East  come  very  close  to,  if  they  do  not  surpass, 
in  brilliancy  of  execution  and  originality  of  design  the  most  expert  of  their 
fraternity  in  Europe  and  America.  India  in  especial  is  the  home  of  forgery. 
There  are  some  particular  districts  which  are  noted  as  marts  for  the  finest 
specimens  of  the  forger's  handiwork.  The  business  is  carried  on  by  firms 
who  possess  stores  of  stamped pap<  rs  to  suit  every  emergency.  They  habitually 
lay  in  a  store  of  fresh  stamped  papers  every  year,  and  some  of  the  older  and 
more  thriving  houses  can  supply  documents  for  the  past  forty  years,  bearing 
tin  proper  water-mark  <nnJ  possessing  the  genuine  appearance  of  age.  Other  dis- 
tricts have  earned  notoriety  for  skilled  perjury,  a  pre-eminence  that  excites  a 
respectful  admiration  when  one  thinks  of  tin-  universal  prevalence  of  the  art, 
and  persons  desirous  of  succeeding  in  false  suits  are  ready  to  pay  handsomely 
to  avail  themselves  of  the  services  of  these  local  experts  as  witnesses." 

Various  instances  illustrative  of  the  methods  of  these 
swindlers  are  given.  They  exhibit  deep  cunning  and  total 
depravity  on  the  part  of  the  swindler  and  his  pals,  and  more 
obtuseness  on  the  part  of  the  victim  than  one  would  expect  to 
find  in  a  country  where  suspicion  of  your  neighbor  must  surely 
be  one  of  the  earliest  things  learned.  The  favorite  subject  is  the 
young  fool  who  has  just  come  into  a  fortune  and  is  trying  to 
see  how  poor  a  use  he  can  put  it  to.     I  will  quote  one  example: 

"Sometimes  another  form  of  confidence  trick  is  adopted,  which  is  invari- 
ably successful.  The  particular  pigeon  is  spotted,  and,  his  acquaintance 
having  been  made,  he  is  encouraged  in  every  form  of  vice.  When  the  friend- 
ship is  thoroughly  established,  the  swindler  remarks  to  the  young  man  that 
lie  has  a  brother  who  has  asked  him  to  lend  him  Rs. 10,000.  The  swindler 
says  he  has  the  money  anil  would  lend  it ;  but,  as  the  borrower  is  his  brother, 
he  cannot  charge  interest.  So  he  proposes  that  he  should  hand  the  dupe  the 
money,  and  the  latter  should  lend  it  to  the  swindler's  brother,  exacting  a 
heavy  pre-payment  of  interest  which,  it  is  pointed  out,  they  may  equally 


NO    DUPLICATE    OF    INDIA.  397 

enjoy  in  dissipation.  The  dupe  sees  no  objection,  and  on  the  appointed  day 
receives  Ks. 7,000  from  the  swindler,  which  he  hands  over  to  the  confederate. 
The  latter  is  profuse  in  his  thanks,  and  executes  a  promissory  note  for 
Rs.  10,000.  payable  to  bearer.  The  swindler  allows  the  scheme  to  remain 
quiescent  for  a  time,  and  then  suggests  that,  as  the  money  has  not  been 
repaid  and  as  it  would  be  unpleasant  to  sue  hi-  brother,  it  would  be  better  to 
sell  the  note  in  the  bazaar.  The  dupe  hands  the  note  over,  for  the  money  he- 
advanced  was  not  his.'and.  on  being  informed  that  it  would  be  necessary  to 
have  his  signature  on  the  back  so  as  to  render  the  security  negotiable,  he 
signs  without  any  hesitation.  The  swindler  passes  it  on  to  confederates,  and 
the  latter  employ  a  respectable  firm  of  solicitors  to  ask  the  dupe  if  his  signa- 
ture is  genuine  He  admits  it  at  once,  and  his  fate  is  sealed.  A  suit  is  tiled 
by  a  confederate  against  the  dupe,  two  accomplices  being  made  co-defend- 
ants. They  admit  their  signatures  as  indorsers,  and  the  one  swears  he  bought 
the  note  for  value  from  the  dupe  The  latter  has  no  defense,  for  no  court 
would  believe  the  apparently  idle  explanation  of  the  manner  in  which  he 
came  to  endorse  the  note." 

There  is  only  one  India!  It  is  the  only  country  that  lias 
a  monopoly  of  grand  and  imposing  specialties.  When  another 
country  has  a  remarkable  thing,  it  cannot  have  it  all  to  itself 
-some  other  country  has  a  duplicate.  lint  India --that  is 
different.  Its  marvels  are  its  own ;  the  patents  cannot  be  in- 
fringed ;  imitations  are  not  possible.  And  think  of  the  size  of 
them,  the  majesty  of  them,  the  weird  and  outlandish  character 
of  the  most  of  them  ! 

There  is  the  Plague,  the  Black  Death  :  India  invented  it  : 
India  is  the  cradle  of  that  miffhtv  birth. 

The  Car  of  Juo-o-ernaut  was  India's  invention. 

So  was  the  Suttee;  and  within  the  time  of  men  still  living 
eight  hundred  widows  willingly,  and,  in  tact,  rejoicingly, 
burned  themselves  to  death  on  the  bodies  of  their  dead  hus- 
bands in  a  sino-le  vear.  Eight  hundred  would  do  it  this  year 
if  the  British  government  would  let  them. 

Famine  is  India's  specialty.  Elsewhere  famines  are  incon- 
sequential incidents  —  in  India  they  are  devastating  cataclysms ; 
in  one  case  they  annihilate  hundreds:  in  the  other,  millions. 

India  has  2,000,000  gods,  and  worships  them  all.  In  religion 
all  other  countries  are  paupers;  India  is  the  only  millionaire. 


398  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

"With  her  everything  is  on  a  giant  scale  —  even  her  poverty; 
no  other  country  can  show  anything  to  compare  with  it.  And 
she  has  been  used  to  wealth  on  so  vast  a  scale  that  she  has  to 
shorten  to  single  words  the  expressions  describing  great  sums. 
She  describes  100,000  with  one  word  —  a  lakh  •  she  describes 
ten  millions  with  one  word  —  a  crore. 

In  the  bowels  of  the  granite  mountains  she  has  patiently 
carved  out  dozens  of  vast  temples,  and  made  them  glorious 
with  sculptured  colonnades  and  stately  groups  of  statuary,  and 
has  adorned  the  eternal  walls  with  noble  paintings.  She  has 
built  fortresses  of  such  magnitude  that  the  show-strono-holds 
of  the  rest  of  the  world  are  but  modest  little  things  by  com- 
parison ;  palaces  that  are  wonders  for  rarity  of  materials,  deli- 
cacy and  beauty  of  workmanship,  and  for  cost ;  and  one  tomb 
which  men  go  around  the  globe  to  see.  It  takes  eighty  nations, 
speaking  eighty  languages,  to  people  her,  and  they  number 
three  hundred  millions. 

On  top  of  all  this  she  is  the  mother  and  home  of  that  won- 
der of  wonders  —  caste  —  and  of  that  mvsterv  of  mvsteries, 
the  satanic  brotherhood  of  the  Thugs. 

India  had  the  start  of  the  whole  world  in  the  beginning  of 
things.  She  had  the  first  civilization  ;  she  had  the  first  accu- 
mulation of  material  wealth ;  she  was  populous  with  deep 
thinkers  and  subtle  intellects ;  she  had  mines,  and  woods,  and 
a  fruitful  soil.  It  would  seem  as  if  she  should  have  kept  the 
lead,  and  should  be  to-day  not  the  meek  dependent  of  an  alien 
master,  but  mistress  of  the  world,  and  delivering  law  and  com- 
mand to  every  tribe  and  nation  in  it.  But,  in  truth,  there  was 
never  any  possibility  of  such  supremacy  for  her.  If  there  had 
been  but  one  India  and  one  language  —  but  there  were  eighty 
of  them !  "Where  there  are  eighty  nations  and  several  hun- 
dred governments,  fighting  and  quarreling  must  be  the  common 
business  of  life ;  unity  of  purpose  and  policy  are  impossible ; 


A    RARE  CHANCE  FOR   BUSINESS.  399 

out  of  such  elements  supremacy  in  the  world  cannot  come. 
Even  caste  itself  could  have  had  the  defeating  effect  of  a 
multiplicity  of  tongues,  no  doubt;  for  it  separates  a  people 
into  lavers,  and  layers,  and  still  other  layers,  that  have  no 
community  of  feeling  with  each  other;  and  in  such  a  con- 
dition of  things  as  that,  patriotism  can  have  no  health  v 
growth. 

It  was  the  division  of  the  country  into  so  many  States  and 
nations  that  made  Thuggee  possible  and  prosperous.  It  is 
difficult  to  realize  the  situation.  But  perhaps  one  may  approxi- 
mate it  by  imagining  the  States  of  our  Union  peopled  by  sep- 
arate nations,  speaking  separate  languages,  with  guards  and 
custom-houses  strung  along  all  frontiers,  plenty  of  interrup- 
tions for  travelers  and  traders,  interpreters  able  to  handle  all 
the  languages  very  rare  or  non-existent,  and  a  few  wars  always 
going  on  here  and  there  and  yonder  as  a  further  embarrass- 
ment to  commerce  and  excursioning.  It  would  make  inter- 
communication in  a  measure  ungeneral.  India  had  emhtv 
languages,  and  more  custom-houses  than  cats.  Xo  clever  man 
with  the  instinct  of  a  highway  robber  could  fail  to  notice  what 
a  chance  for  business  was  here  offered.  India  was  full  of  clever 
men  with  the  highwayman  instinct,  and  so,  quite  naturally, 
the  brotherhood  of  the  Thugs  came  into  being  to  meet  the 
long-felt  want. 

How  long  ago  that  was  nobody  knows  —  centuries,  it  is 
supposed.  One  of  the  chiefest  wonders  connected  with  it  was 
the  success  with  which  it  kept  its  secret.  The  English  trader 
did  business  in  India  two  hundred  years  and  more  before  he 
ever  heard  of  it  ;  and  yet  it  was  assassinating  its  thousands  all 
around  him  every  year,  the  whole  time. 


CHAPTER  XLIY. 

The  old  saw  says,  "  Let  a  sleeping  dog  lie."  Right.  Still,  when  there  is  much 
at  stake  it  is  better  to  get  a  newspaper  to  do  it.  — PudcPtihead  Wilson1*  New  Calendar. 

From  Diary  : 

JANUARY  28.  I  learned  of  an  official  Thug-book  the 
0  other  day.     T  was  not  aware  before  that  there  was  such 

^^  a  thing.  I  am  allowed  the  temporary  use  of  it.  We 
are  making  preparations  for  travel.  Mainly  the  preparations 
are  purchases  of  bedding.  This  is  to  be  used  in  sleeping  berths 
in  the  trains ;  in  private  houses  sometimes  ;  and  in  nine-tenths 
of  the  hotels.  It  is  not  realizable ;  and  yet  it  is  true.  It  is  a 
survival ;  an  apparently  unnecessary  thing  which  in  some 
strang-e  way  has  outlived  the  conditions  which  once  made  it 
necessary.  It  comes  down  from  a  time  when  the  railway  and 
the  hotel  did  not  exist ;  when  the  occasional  white  traveler 
went  horseback  or  by  bullock-cart,  and  stopped  over  night  in  the 
small  dak-bungalow  provided  at  easy  distances  by  the  govern- 
ment—  a  shelter,  merely,  and  nothing  more.  He  had  to  carry 
bedding  along,  or  do  w-ithout.  The  dwellings  of  the  English 
residents  are  spacious  and  comfortable  and  commodiously  fur- 
nished, and  surely  it  must  be  an  odd  sight  to  see  half  a  dozen 
guests  come  tiling  into  such  a  place  and  dumping  blankets  and 
pillows  here  and  there  and  everywhere.  But  custom  makes  in- 
congruous things  congruous. 

One  buys  the  bedding,  with  waterproof  hold-all  for  it  at  al- 
most any  shop  —  there  is  no  difficulty  about  it. 

January  30.  What  a  spectacle  the  railway  station  was,  at 
train-time!     It  was  a  verv  laro;e  station,  vet  when  we  arrived 

(400) 


TRAVELING  THRONGS.  403 

it  seemed  as  if  the  whole  world  was  present —  half  of  it  inside, 
the  other  half  outside,  and  both  halves,  bearing  mountainous 
head-loads  of  bedding  and  other  freight,  trying  simultaneously 
to  pass  each  other,  in  opposing  floods,  in  one  narrow  door. 
These  opposing  floods  were  patient,  gentle,  long-suffering  na- 
tives, with  whites  scattered  among  them  at  rare  intervals ;  and 
wherever  a  white  man's  native  servant  appeared,  that  native 
seemed  to  have  put  aside  his  natural  gentleness  for  the  time 
and  invested  himself  with  the  white  man's  privilege  of  making 
a  way  for  himself  by  promptly  shoving  all  intervening  black 
things  out  of  it.  In  these  exhibitions  of  authority  Satan  Avas 
scandalous.  He  was  probably  a  Thug  in  one  of  his  former  in- 
carnations. 

Inside  the  great  station,  tides  upon  tides  of  rainbow-cos- 
tumed natives  swept  along,  this  way  and  that,  in  massed  and 
bewildering  confusion,  eager,  anxious,  belated,  distressed ;  and 
washed  up  to  the  long  trains  and  flowed  into  them  with  their 
packs  and  bundles,  and  disappeared,  followed  at  once  by  the 
next  wash,  the  next  wave.  And  here  and  there,  in  the  midst 
of  this  hurly-burly,  and  seemingly  undisturbed  by  it,  sat  great 
groups  of  natives  on  the  bare  stone  floor,  —  young,  slender 
brown  women,  old,  gray  wrinkled  women,  little  soft  brown 
babies,  old  men,  young  men,  boys;  all  poor  people,  but  all  the 
females  among  them,  both  big  and  little,  bejeweled  with  cheap 
and  showy  nose-rings,  toe-rings,  leglets,  and  armlets,  these 
things  constituting  all  their  wealth,  no  doubt.  These  silent 
crowds  sat  there  with  their  humble  bundles  and  baskets  and 
small  household  gear  about  them,  and  patiently  waited-- for 
what  ?  A  train  that  was  to  start  at  some  time  or  other  during 
the  day  or  night!  They  hadn't  timed  themselves  well,  but 
that  was  no  matter  —  the  thing:  had  been  so  ordered  from  on 
high,  therefore  why  worry  \     There  was  plenty  of  time,  hours 


40-4  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

and  hours  of  it,  and  the  thing  that  was  to  happen  would  hap- 
pen —  there  was  no  hurrying  it. 

The  natives  traveled  third  class,  and  at  marvelously  cheap 
rates.  They  were  packed  and  crammed  into  cars  that  held 
each  about  liftv ;  and  it  was  said  that  often  a  Brahmin  of  the 
highest  caste  was  thus  brought  into  personal  touch,  and  conse- 
quent defilement,  with  persons  of  the  lowest  castes  —  no  doubt 
a  very  shocking  thing  if  a  body  could  understand  it  and  prop- 
erly appreciate  it.  Yes,  a  Brahmin  who  didn't  own  a  rupee 
and  couldn't  borrow  one,  might  have  to  touch  elbows  with  a 
rich  hereditary  lord  of  inferior  caste,  inheritor  of  an  ancient 
title  a  couple  of  yards  long,  and  he  would  just  have  to  stand 
it ;  for  if  either  of  the  two  was  allowed  to  go  in  the  cars 
Avhere  the  sacred  white  people  were,  it  probably  wouldn't  be 
the  august  poor  Brahmin.  There  was  an  immense  string  of 
those  third-class  cars,  for  the  natives  travel  by  hordes ;  and  a 
weary  hard  night  of  it  the  occupants  would  have,  no  doubt. 

AVhen  we  reached  our  car,  Satan  and  Barney  had  already 
arrived  there  with  their  train  of  porters  carrying  bedding  and 
parasols  and  cigar  boxes,  and  were  at  work.  We  named  him 
Barney  for  short ;  we  couldn't  use  his  real  name,  there  wasn't 
time. 

It  was  a  car  that  promised  comfort ;  indeed,  luxury.  Yet 
the  cost  of  it  —  well,  economy  could  no  further  go;  even  in 
France ;  not  even  in  Italy.  It  was  built  of  the  plainest  and 
cheapest  partially-smoothed  boards,  with  a  coating  of  dull 
paint  on  them,  and  there  was  nowhere  a  thought  of  decoration. 
The  floor  was  bare,  but  would  not  long  remain  so  when  the 
dust  should  begin  to  fly.  Across  one  end  of  the  compartment 
ran  a  netting  for  the  accommodation  of  hand-baggage  ;  at  the 
other  end  was  a  door  which  would  shut,  upon  compulsion,  but 
wouldn't  stay  shut ;  it  opened  into  a  narrow  little  closet  which 
had  a  wash-bowl  in  one  end  of  it,  and  a  place  to  put  a  towel. 


RAILWAY   CAR  FURNISHINGS.  405 

in  case  you  had  one  with  you  —  and  you  would  be  sure  to 
have  towels,  because  you  buy  them  with  the  bedding,  knowing 
that  the  railway  doesn't  furnish  them.  On  each  side  of  the 
car,  and  running  fore  and  aft,  was  a  broad  leather-covered  sofa 
—  to  sit  on  in  the  day  and  sleep  on  at  night.  Over  each  sofa 
hung,  by  straps,  a  wide,  flat,  leather-covered  shelf  -  -  to  sleep 
o  1.  In  the  daytime  you  can  hitch  it  up  against  the  wall,  out 
of  the  way  —  and  then  you  have  a  big  unencumbered  and  most 
comfortable  room  to  spread  out  in.  Xo  car  in  any  country  is 
quite  its  equal  for  comfort  (and  privacy)  I  think.  For  usually 
there  are  but  two  persons  in  it  ;  and  even  when  there  are  four 
there  is  but  little  sense  of  impaired  privacy.  Our  own  cars  at 
home  can  surpass  the  railway  world  in  all  details  but  that  one: 
they  have  no  cosiness ;  there  are  too  many  people  together. 

At  the  foot  of  each  sofa  was  a  side-door,  for  entrance  and 
exit. 

Alone;  the  whole  length  of  the  sofa  on  each  side  of  the  car 
ran  a  row  of  large  single-plate  windows,  of  a  blue  tint  —  blue 
to  soften  the  bitter  glare  of  the  sun  and  protect  one's  eyes 
from  torture.  These  could  be  let  down  out  of  the  way  when 
one  wanted  the  breeze.  In  the  roof  were  two  oil  lamps  which 
gave  a  light  strong  enough  to  read  bv;  each  had  a  green-cloth 
attachment  by  which  it  could  be  covered  when  the  light 
should  be  no  longer  needed. 

While  we  talked  outside  with  friends,  Barney  and  Satan 
placed  the  hand-baggage,  books,  fruits,  and  soda-bottles  in  the 
racks,  and  the  hold-alls  and  heavy  baggage  in  the  closet,  hung 
the  overcoats  and  sun-helmets  and  towels  on  the  hooks,  hoisted 
the  two  bed-shelves  up  out  of  the  way,  then  shouldered  their 
bedding  and  retired  to  the  third  class. 

Now  then,  you  see  what  a  handsome,  spacious,  light,  airy, 
homelike  place  it  was,  wherein  to  walk  up  and  down,  or  sit 
and  write,  or  stretch  out  and  read    and   smoke.     A   central 


406  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

door  in  the  forward  end  of  the  compartment  opened  into  a 
similar  compartment.  It  was  occupied  by  my  wife  and 
daughter.  About  nine  in  the  evening,  while  we  halted  a 
while  at  a  station,  Barney  and  Satan  came  and  undid  the 
clumsy  big  hold-alls,  and  spread  the  bedding  on  the  sofas  in 
both  compartments  —  mattresses,  sheets,  gay  coverlets,  pillows, 
all  complete;  there  are  no  chambermaids  in  India  —  appar- 
ently it  was  an  office  that  was  never  heard  of.  Then  they 
closed  the  communicating  door,  nimbly  tidied  up  our  place, 
put  the  night-clothing  on  the  beds  and  the  slippers  under 
them,  then  returned  to  their  own  quarters. 

January  31.  It  was  novel  and  pleasant,  and  I  stayed 
awake  as  long  as  I  could,  to  enjoy  it,  and  to  read  about  those 
strange  people  the  Thugs.  In  my  sleep  they  remained  with 
me,  and  tried  to  strangle  me.  The  leader  of  the  ffang'  was 
that  giant  Hindoo  who  was  such  a  picture  in  the  strong  light 
when  we  were  leaving  those  Hindoo  betrothal  festivities  at 
two  o'clock  in  the  morning  —  Rao  Bahadur  Baskirao  Balink- 
anje  Pitale,  Vakeel  to  the  Gaikwar  of  Baroda.  It  was  he 
that  brought  me  the  invitation  from  his  master  to  go  to 
Baroda  and  lecture  to  that  prince  —  and  now  he  was  misbe- 
having in  my  dreams.  But  all  things  can  happen  in  dreams. 
It  is  indeed  as  the  Sweet  Singer  of  Michigan  says  —  irrel- 
evantly, of  course,  for  the  one  and  unfailing  great  quality 
which  distinguishes  her  poetry  from  Shakespeare's  and  makes 
it  precious  to  us  is  its  stern  and  simple  irrelevancy  : 

My  heart  was  gay  and  happy, 

This  was  ever  in  my  mind, 
There  is  better  times  a  coming, 

And  I  hope  some  day  to  rind 
Myself  capable  of  composing, 

It  was  my  heart's  delight 
To  compose  on  a  sentimental  subject 

If  it  came  in  my  mind  just  right.* 

*"The  Sentimental  Song  Book,''  p.  49;  theme,  "  The  Author's  Early  Life,"  19th 
stanza. 


AT   BARODA.  40  7 

Baroda.  Arrived  at  7  this  morning.  The  dawn  was  just 
beginning  to  show.  It  was  forlorn  to  have  to  turn  out  in  a 
strange  place  at  such  a  time,  and  the  blinking  lights  in  the 
station  made  it  seem  night  still.  But  the  gentlemen  who  had 
come  to  receive  us  were  there  with  their  servants,  and  thev 
make  quick  work;  there  was  no  lost  time.  We  were  soon  out- 
side and  moving  swiftly  through  the  soft  array  light,  and 
presently  were  comfortably  housed  —  with  more  servants  to 
help  than  we  were  used  to,  and  with  rather  embarassingly  im- 
portant officials  to  direct  them.  But  it  was  custom;  they 
spoke  Ballarat  English,  their  hearing  was  charming  and  hospit- 
able, and  so  all  went  well. 

Breakfast  was  a  satisfaction.  Across  the  lawns  was  visible 
in  the  distance  through  the  open  window  an  Indian  well,  with 
two  oxen  tramping  leisurely  up  and  down  long  inclines,  draw- 
ing water ;  and  out  of  the  stillness  came  the  suffering  screech 
of  the  machinery  —  not  quite  musical,  and  yet  soothingly 
melancholy  and  dreamy  and  reposeful  —  a  wail  of  lost  spirits, 
one  might  imagine.  And  commemorative  and  reminiscent, 
perhaps ;  for  of  course  the  Thugs  used  to  throw  people  down 
that  well  when  they  were  done  with  them. 

After  breakfast  the  day  began,  a  sufficiently  busy  one. 
AVe  were  driven  by  winding  roads  through  a  vast  park,  with 
noble  forests  of  great  trees,  and  with  tangles  and  jungles  of 
lovely  growths  of  a  humbler  sort  :  and  at  one  place  three  large 
gray  apes  came  out  and  pranced  across  the  road  —  a  good  deal 
of  a  surprise  and  an  unpleasant  one,  for  such  creatures  belong 
in  the  menagerie,  and  they  look  artificial  and  out  of  place  in 
a  wilderness. 

We  came  to  the  city,  by  and  by,  and  drove  all  through  it. 
Intensely  Indian,  it  was,  and  crumbly,  and  mouldering,  and 
immemorially  old,  to  all  appearance.  And  the  houses  —  oh, 
indescribably  quaint  and  curious  they  were,  with  their  fronts 


408  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

an  elaborate  lace- work  of  intricate  and  beautiful  wood-carving, 
and  now  and  then  further  adorned  with  rude  pictures  of 
elephants  and  princes  and  gods  done  in  shouting  colors ;  and 
all  the  ground  floors  along  these  cramped  and  narrow  lanes 
occupied  as  shops  —  shops  unbelievably  small  and  impossibly 
packed  with  merchantable  rubbish,  and  with  nine-tenths-naked 
natives  squatting  at  their  work  of  hammering,  pounding,  braz- 
ing, soldering,  sewing,  designing,  cooking,  measuring  out 
grain,  grinding  it,  repairing  idols  —  and  then  the  swarm  of 
ragged  and  noisy  humanity  under  the  horses'  feet  and  every- 
where, and  the  pervading  reek  and  fume  and  smell !  It  was 
all  wonderful  and  delightful. 

Imagine  a  file  of  elephants  marching  through  such  a  crevice 
of  a  street  and  scraping  the  paint  off  both  sides  of  it  with  their 
hides.  How  big  they  must  look,  and  how  little  thev  must 
make  the  houses  look  ;  and  when  the  elephants  are  in  their 
glittering  court  costume,  what  a  contrast  they  must  make  with 
the  humble  and  sordid  surroundings.  And  when  a  mad 
elephant  goes  raging  through,  belting  right  and  left  with  his 
trunk,  how  do  these  swarms  of  people  get  out  of  the  way  ? 
I  suppose  it  is  a  thing  which  happens  now  and  then  in  the  mad 
s  sason  (for  elephants  have  a  mad  season). 

I  wonder  how  old  the  town  is.  There  are  patches  of  build- 
ing—  massive  structures,  monuments,  apparently  —  that  are  so 
battered  and  worn,  and  seemingly  so  tired  and  so  burdened 
with  the  weight  of  age,  and  so  d  idled  and  stupefied  with  try- 
ing to  remember  things  they  forgot  before  history  began,  that 
they  give  one  the  feeling  that  they  must  have  been  a  part  of 
original  Creation.  This  is  indeed  one  of  the  oldest  of  the 
princedoms  of  India,  and  has  always  been  celebrated  for  its 
barbaric  pomps  and  splendors,  and  for  the  wealth  of  its 
princes. 


■I  -f^ 


CHAPTER  XLY, 

It  takes  your  enemy  and  your  friend,  working  together,  to  hurt  you  to  the 
heart ;  the  one  to  slander  you  and  the  other  to  get  the  news  to  you. — PucUV nhead 
Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

OUT  of  the  town  again ;  a  long  drive  through  open  coun- 
try, by  winding  roads  among  secluded  villages  nest- 
ling in  the  inviting  shade  of  tropic  vegetation,  a  Sab- 
bath stillness  everywhere,  sometimes 
a  pervading  sense  of  solitude,  but 
always  barefoot  natives  gliding  by 
like  spirits,  without 
sound  of  footfall,  and 
others  in  the  distance 
dissolving  away  and 
vanishing  like  the 
creatures  of  dreams. 
Now  and  then  a 
string  of  stately 
camels  passed  by  — 
always  interesting  things  to  look 
at  —  and  they  were  velvet-shod  by 
nature,  and  made  no  noise.  Indeed, 
there  were  no  noises  of  any  sort  in  roadside  views. 

this  paradise.     Yes,  once  there  was  one,  for  a  moment :  a  file  of 
native  convicts  passed  along  in  charge  of  an  officer,  and  we 

(410) 


RIDING   AX   ELEPHANT.  411 

caught  the  soft  clink  of  their  chains.  In  a  retired  spot,  resting 
himself  under  a  tree,  was  a  holy  person  —  a  naked  black 
fakeer,  thin  and  skinny,  and  whitey-gray  all  over  with  ashes. 

By  and  by  to  the  elephant  stables,  and  I  took  a  ride  ;  but 
it  was  by  request-- I  did  not  ask  for  it,  and  didn't  want  it; 
but  I  took  it,  because  otherwise  they  would  have  thought  I 
was  afraid,  which  I  was.  The  elephant  kneels  down,  by  com- 
mand—  one  end  of  him  at  a  time  —  and  you  climb  the  ladder 
and  get  into  the  howdah,  and  then  he  gets  up,  one  end  at  a 
time,  just  as  a  ship  gets  up  over  a  wave  ;  and  after  that,  as  he 
strides  monstrously  about,  his  motion  is  much  like  a  ship's 
motion.  The  mahout  bores  into  the  back  of  his  head  with  a 
great  iron  prod  and  you  wonder  at  his  temerity  and  at  the 
elephant's  patience,  and  you  think  that  perhaps  the  patience 
will  not  last  ;  but  it  does,  and  nothing  happens.  The  mahout 
talks  to  the  elephant  in  a  low  voice  all  the  time,  and  the  ele- 
phant seems  to  understand  it  all  and  to  be  pleased  with  it;  and 
he  obeys  every  order  in  the  most  contented  and  docile  way. 
Among  these  twenty-five  elephants  were  two  which  were 
larger  than  any  I  had  ever  seen  before,  and  if  I  had  thought  I 
could  learn  to  not  be  afraid,  I  would  have  taken  one  of  them 
while  the  police  were  not  looking. 

In  the  howdah-house  there  were  many  howdahs  that  were 
made  of  silver,  one  of  gold,  and  one  of  old  ivory,  and  equipped 
with  cushions  and  canopies  of  rich  and  costly  stuffs.  The 
wardrobe  of  the  elephants  was  there,  too ;  vast  velvet  covers 
stiff  and  heavy  with  gold  embroidery  ;  and  bells  of  silver  and 
gold  ;  and  ropes  of  these  metals  for  fastening  the  things  on  — ■ 
harness,  so  to  speak  ;  and  monster  hoops  of  massive  gold  for 
the  elephant  to  wear  on  his  ankles  when  he  is  out  in  procession 
on  business  of  state. 

But  we  did  not  see  the  treasury  of  crown  jewels,  and  that 
was  a  disappointment,  for  in  mass  and  richness  it  ranks  only 


412  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

second  in  India.  By  mistake  we  we  taken  to  see  the  new  pal- 
ace instead,  and  we  used  up  the  last  remnant  of  our  spare  time 
there.  It  was  a  pity,  too ;  for  the  new  palace  is  mixed  modern 
American-European,  and  has  not  a  merit  except  costliness.  It 
is  wholly  foreign  to  India,  and  impudent  and  out  of  place. 
The  architect  has  escaped.  This  comes  of  overdoing  the  sup- 
pression of  the  Thugs  ;  they  had  their  merits.  The  old  palace 
is  oriental  and  charming,  and  in  consonance  with  the  country. 
The  old  palace  would  still  be  great  if  there  were  nothing  of  it 
but  the  spacious  and  lofty  hall  where  the  durbars  are  held.  It 
is  not  a  good  place  to  lecture  in,  on  account  of  the  echoes,  but 
it  is  a  good  place  to  hold  durbars  in  and  regulate  the  affairs  of 
a  kingdom,  and  that  is  what  it  is  for.  If  I  had  it  I  would  have 
a  durbar  every  day,  instead  of  once  or  twice  a  year. 

The  prince  is  an  educated  gentleman.  His  culture  is  Euro- 
pean. He  has  been  in  Europe  five  times.  People  say  that 
this  is  costly  amusement  for  him,  since  in  crossing  the  sea  he 
must  sometimes  be  obliged  to  drink  water  from  vessels  that 
are  more  or  less  public,  and  thus  damage  his  caste.  To  get  it 
purified  again  he  must  make  pilgrimage  to  some  renowned 
Hindoo  temples  and  contribute  a  fortune  or  two  to  them.  His 
people  are  like  the  other  Hindoos,  profoundly  religious ;  and 
they  could  not  be  content  with  a  master  who  was  impure. 

We  failed  to  see  the  jewels,  but  we  saw  the  gold  cannon  and 
the  silver  one  —  they  seemed  to  be  six-pounders.  They  were 
not  designed  for  business,  but  for  salutes  upon  rare  and  partic- 
ularly important  state  occasions.  An  ancestor  of  the  present 
Gaikwar  had  the  silver  one  made,  and  a  subsequent  ancestor 
had  the  gold  one  made,  in  order  to  outdo  him. 

This  sort  of  artillery  is  in  keeping  with  the  traditions  of 
Baroda,  which  was  of  old  famous  for  style  and  show.  It  used 
to  entertain  visiting  rajahs  and  vicero}rs  with  tiger-fights,  ele- 


A   REMARKABLE   DOG. 


413 


<y% 


pliant-fights,    illuminations,   and    elephant-processions   of    the 
most  glittering  and  gorgeous  character. 

It  makes  the  circus  a  pale,  poor  thing. 

In  the  train,  during  a  part  of  the  return  journey  from 
Baroda,  we  had  the  company  of  a  gentleman  who  had  with 
him  a  remarkahle  looking  dog.  I  had  not  seen  one  of  its  kind 
before,  as  far  as  I  could  remember ;  though  of  course  I  might 
have  seen  one  and  not  noticed  it,  for  I  am  not  acquainted  with 
do"'s,  but  only  with  cats.  This  dog's  coat  was  smooth  and 
shiny  and  black,  and  I  think  it  had  tan  trimmings  around  the 
edges  of  the  dog.  and  perhaps  underneath.  It 
was  a  long,  low  dog,  with  very  short,  strange 
legs  —  legs  that 
curved  inboard, 
something  like 
parentheses 
t  u  r  n e  d  the 
w  r  o  n  g  way  (. 
Indeed,  it  was 
made  on  the  plan  of  a  bench  for  length  and  lowness.  It 
seemed  to  be  satisfied,  but  I  thought  the  plan  poor,  and  struct- 
urally weak,  on  account  of  the  distance  between  the  forward 
supports  and  those  abaft.  With  age  the  dog's  back  was  likely 
to  sag;  and  it  seemed  to  me  that  it  would  have  been  a  stronger 
and  more  practicable  dog  if  it  had  had  some  more  legs.  It 
had  not  begun  to  sag  yet.  but  the  shape  of  the  legs  showed 
that  the  undue  weight  imposed  upon  them  was  beginning  to 
tell.  It  had  a  long  nose,  and  floppy  ears  that  hung  down,  and 
a  resigned  expression  of  countenance.  I  did  not  like  to  ask 
what  kind  of  a  dog  it  was,  or  how  it  came  to  be  deformed,  for 
it  was  plain  that  the  gentleman  was  very  fond  of  it,  and  natu- 
rallv  he  could  be  sensitive  about  it.  From  delicacy  I  thought 
it  best  not  to  seem  to  notice  it  too  much.     No  doubt  a  man 


A    PRIZE    WINNER. 


4U  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

with  a  dog  like  that  feels  just  as  a  person  does  who  has  a  child 
that  is  out  of  true.  The  gentleman  was  not  merely  fond  of 
the  dog,  he  was  also  proud  of  it — just  the  same  again,  as  a 
mother  feels  about  her  child  when  it  is  an  idiot.  I  could  see  that 
he  was  proud  of  it,  notwithstanding  it  was  such  a  long  dog  and 
looked  so  resigned  and  pious.  It  had  been  all  over  the  world 
with  him,  and  had  been  pilgriming  like  that  for  years  and 
years.  It  had  traveled  50,000  miles  by  sea  and  rail,  and  had 
ridden  in  front  of  him  on  his  horse  8,000.  It  had  a  silver 
medal  from  the  Geographical  Society  of  Great  Britain  for  its 
travels,  and  I  saw  it.  It  had  won  prizes  in  dog  shows,  both  in 
India  and  in  England  —  I  saw  them.  He  said  its  pedigree  was 
on  record  in  the  Kennel  Club,  and  that  it  was  a  well-known 
dog.  He  said  a  great  many  people  in  London  could  recognize 
it  the  moment  they  saw  it,  I  did  not  say  anything,  but  I  did 
not  think  it  anything  strange ;  I  should  know  that  dog  again, 
myself,  yet  I  am  not  careful  about  noticing  dogs.  He  said 
that  when  he  walked  along  in  London,  people  often  stopped 
and  looked  at  the  dog.  Of  course  I  did  not  say  anything,  for 
I  did  not  want  to  hurt  his  feelings,  but  I  could  have  explained 
to  him  that  if  you  take  a  great  long  low  dog  like  that  and 
waddle  it  along  the  street  anywhere  in  the  world  and  not 
charge  anything,  people  will  stop  and  look.  He  was  gratified 
because  the  dog  took  prizes.  But  that  was  nothing;  if  I  were 
built  like  that  I  could  take  prizes  myself.  I  wished  I  knew 
what  kind  of  a  dog  it  was,  and  what  it  was  for,  but  I  could  not 
very  well  ask,  for  that  would  show  that  I  did  not  know.  JSot 
that  I  want  a  dog  like  that,  but  only  to  know  the  secret  of  its 
birth. 

I  think  he  was  going  to  hunt  elephants  with  it,  because  I 
know,  from  remarks  dropped  by  him,  that  he  has  hunted  large 
game  in  India  and  Africa,  and  likes  it.  But  I  think  that  if  he 
tries  to  hunt  elephants  with  it,  he  is  going  to  be  disappointed. 


AUGUSTIN  DALY'S  INVITATION.  415 

I  do  not  believe  that  it  is  suited  for  elephants.  It  lacks  energy, 
it  lacks  force  of  character,  it  lacks  bitterness.  These  things  all 
show  in  the  meekness  and  resignation  of  its  expression.  It 
would  not  attack  an  elephant,  I  am  sure  of  it.  It  might  not 
run  if  it  saw  one  coming,  but  it  looked  to  me  like  a  dog  that 
would  sit  down  and  pray. 

I  wish  lie  had  told  me  what  breed  it  was,  if  there  are 
others ;  but  I  shall  know  the  dog  next  time,  and  then  if  I  can 
bring  myself  to  it  I  will  put  delicacy  aside  and  ask.  If  I  seem 
strangely  interested  in  dogs,  I  have  a  reason  for  it ;  for  a  dog- 
saved  me  from  an  embarrassing  position  once,  and  that  has 
made  me  grateful  to  these  animals ;  and  if  by  study  I  could 
learn  to  tell  some  of  the  kinds  from  the  others,  I  should  be 
greatly  pleased.  I  only  know  one  kind  apart,  yet,  and  that  is 
the  kind  that  saved  me  that  time.  I  always  know  that  kind 
when  I  meet  it,  and  if  it  is  hungry  or  lost  I  take  care  of  it. 
The  matter  happened  in  this  way  : 

It  was  years  and  years  ago.  I  had  received  a  note  from 
Mr.  Augustin  Daly  of  the  Fifth  Avenue  Theatre,  asking  me  to 
call  the  next  time  I  should  be  in  New  York.  I  was  writing 
plays,  in  those  days,  and  he  was  admiring  them  and  trying  to 
get  me  a  chance  to  get  them  played  in  Siberia.  I  took  the  first 
train  — the  early  one — the  one  that  leaves  Hartford  at  8.20  in 
the  morning.  At  Xew  Haven  I  bought  a  paper,  and  found  it 
filled  with  glaring  display-lines  about  a  "  bench-show  "  there. 
I  had  often  heard  of  bench-shows,  but  had  never  felt  any  inter- 
est in  them,  because  I  supposed  they  were  lectures  that  were 
not  well  attended.  It  turned  out,  now,  that  it  was  not  that, 
but  a  dog-show.  There  was  a  double-leaded  column  about  the 
king-feature  of  this  one,  which  was  called  a  Saint  Bernard,  and 
was  worth  $10^000,  and  was  known  to  be  the  largest  and  finest 
of  his  species  in  the  world.  I  read  all  this  with  interest, 
because  out  of  my  school-boy  readings  I  dimlv  remembered 


410  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

how  the  priests  and  pilgrims  of  St.  Bernard  used  to  go  out  in 
the  storms  and  dig  these  dogs  out  of  the  snowdrifts  when  lost 
and  exhausted,  and  give  them  brandy  and  save  their  lives,  and 
drag  them  to  the  monastery  and  restore  them  with  gruel. 

Also,  there  was  a  picture  of  this  prize-dog  in  the  paper,  a 
noble  great  creature  with  a  benignant  countenance,  standing  by 
a  table.  He  was  placed  in  that  way  so  that  one  could  get 
a  right  idea  of  his  great  dimensions.  You  could  see  that  he 
was  just  a  shade  higher  than  the  table  —  indeed,  a  huge  fellow 
for  a  dog.  Then  there  was  a  description  which  went  into  the 
details.  It  gave  his  enormous  weight  — 150^  pounds,  and  his 
length  —  4  feet  2  inches,  from  stem  to  stern-post ;  and  his 
height  —  3  feet  1  inch,  to  the  top  of  his  back.  The  pictures 
and  the  figures  so  impressed  me,  that  I  could  see  the  beautiful 
colossus  before  me,  and  I  kept  on  thinking  about  him  for  the 
next  two  hours  ;  then  I  reached  New  York,  and  he  dropped 
out  of  my  mind. 

In  the  swirl  and  tumult  of  the  hotel  lobby  I  ran  across  Mr. 
Daly's  comedian,  the  late  James  Lewis,  of  beloved  memory, 
and  I  casually  mentioned  that  I  was  going  to  call  upon  Mr. 
Daly  in  the  evening  at  8.  He  looked  surprised,  and  said  he 
reckoned  not.  For  answer  I  handed  him  Mr.  Daly's  note. 
Its  substance  was  :  "Come  to  my  private  den,  over  the  theater, 
where  we  cannot  be  interrupted.  And  come  by  the  back  way, 
not  the  front.  No.  G42  Sixth  Avenue  is  a  cigar  shop;  pass 
through  it  and  you  are  in  a  paved  court,  with  high  buildings 
all  around ;  enter  the  second  door  on  the  left,  and  come  up 
stairs." 

"  Is  this  all  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  I  said. 

ik  Well,  you'll  never  get  in." 

«  Why  ? " 

"  Because  you  won't.     Or  if  you  do  vou  can  draw  on  me 


(Owen  Gormlay. ) 
WELL,  SOU.  WHAT  WILL    YOU  BAVE?" 


MR.    DALY'S   DOORKEEPER.  41!) 

for  a  hundred  dollars ;  for  you  will  be  the  first  man  that  has 
accomplished  it  in  twenty-five  years.  I  can't  think  what  Mr. 
Daly  can  have  been  absorbed  in.  lie  has  forgotten  a  most 
important  detail,  and  he  will  feel  humiliated  in  the  morning 
when  he  finds  that  yon  tried  to  get  in  and  couldn't." 

"  Why,  what  is  the  trouble?" 

"  I'll  tell  you.     You  see- 

At  that  point  we  were  swept  apart  by  the  crowd,  somebody 
detained  me  with  a  moment's  talk,  and  we  did  not  get  together 
again.  But  it  did  not  matter;  I  believed  he  was  joking,  any- 
way. 

At  eight  in  the  evening  I  passed  through  the  cigar  shop  and 
into  the  court  and  knocked  at  the  second  door. 

••  ( Jome  in  !  " 

I  entered.  It  was  a  small  room,  carpetless,  dusty,  with  a 
naked  deal  table,  and  two  cheap  wooden  chairs  for  furniture. 
A  giant  Irishman  was  standing  therewith  shirt  collar  and  vest 
unbuttoned,  and  no  coat  on.  I  put  my  hat  on  the  table,  and 
was  about  to  say  something,  when  the  Irishman  took  the 
innings  himself.     And  not  with  marked  courtesy  of  tone  : 

"Well,  sor,  what  will  you  have?" 

I  was  a  little  disconcerted,  and  my  easy  confidence  suffered 
a  shrinkage.  The  man  stood  as  motionless  as  Gibraltar,  and 
kept  his  unblinking  eye  upon  me.  It  was  very  embarrassing, 
very  humiliating.     I  stammered  at  a  false  start  or  two;  then  — 

k'  I  have  just  run  down  from  —  " 

"Av  ye  plaze,  ye'll  not  smoke  here,  ye  understand." 

I  laid  mv  cigar  on  the  window-ledge ;  chased  mv  flighty 
thoughts  a  moment,  then  said  in  a  placating  manner :- 

k%  I  —  I  have  come  to  see  Mr.  Daly." 

"  Oh,  ye  have,  have  ye '.  " 

"  Yes." 


420 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


"  Well,  ye'll  not  see  him." 
"  But  he  asked  me  to  come." 
"  Oh,  he  did,  did  he  '.  " 
"  Yes,  he  sent  me  this  note,  and  —  " 
"  Lemme  see  it.'1 

For  a  moment  I  fancied  there  would  be  a  change  in  the 
atmosphere,  now  ;  but  this  idea  was  premature.      The  big  man 

was  examining  the  note 
searchingly  under  the  gas- 
jet.  A  glance  showed  me 
that  he  had  it  upside  down 
-  disheartening  evidence 
that  he  could  not  read. 

'*  Is   ut   his   own   hand- 
write  \  " 

"  Yes — he  wrote  it  him- 
self." 

"He  did,  did  he?" 
"  Yes/' 

"  lTm.    Well,  then,  why 
ud  he  write  it  like  that?" 
"  How  do  you  mean  ? " 
k>  I  mane,  why  wudn't  he  put  his  name  to  ut?" 
"  His  name  is  to  it.     That's  not  it  —  you  are  looking  at  my 
name." 

I  thought  that  that  was  a  home  shot,  but  he  did  not  betray 
that  he  had  been  hit.     He  said  : 

"  It's  not  an  aisy  one  to  spell ;  how  do  you  pronounce  ut  \ " 
"  Mark  Twain." 

"H'm.     H'm.     Mike  Train.     H'm.     I  don't  remember  ut. 
What  is  it  ye  want  to  see  him  about?  " 

"  It  isn't  I  that  want  to  see  him,  he  wants  to  see  me." 
"Oh,  he  does,  does  he  ? " 


HE   HAD   IT   UPSIDE    DOWN. 


IN   THE   SHOW   BUSINESS;  40 1 

"  Yes." 

'•What  does  he  want  to  see  ye  about?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"  Ye  don't  know  !  And  ye  confess  it,  becod  !  "Well,  I  can 
tell  ve  wan  thing;  —  veil  not  see  him.    Are  ye  in  the  business  \  " 

"  What  business  ?" 

"The  show  business." 

A  fatal  question.  I  recognized  that  I  was  defeated.  If  I 
answered  no,  he  would  cut  the  matter  short  and  wave  me  to 
the  door  without  the  grace  of  a  word  --I  saw  it  in  his  uncom- 
promising eye;  if  I  said  I  was  a  lecturer,  lie  would  despise  me, 
and  dismiss  me  with  opprobrious  words;  if  I  said  1  was  a 
dramatist,  he  would  throw  me  out  of  the  window.  I  saw  that 
my  case  was  hopeless,  so  I  chose  the  course  which  seemed 
least  humiliating:  I  would  pocket  my  shame  and  glide  out 
without  answering.     The  silence  was  growing  lengthy. 

"  I'll  ask  ye  again.     Are  ye  in  the  show  business  yerself  \  " 

"  Yes  ! " 

I  said  it  with  splendid  confidence;  for  in  that  moment  the 
very  twin  of  that  grand  New  Haven  dog  loafed  into  the  room, 
and  I  saw  that  Irishman's  eye  light  eloquently  with  pride  and 
affection. 

"  Ye  are  \     And  what  is  it  \  " 

"I've  got  a  bench-show  in  New  Haven." 

The  weather  did  change  then. 

"You  don't  say,  sir!  And  that's  your  show,  sir!  Oh,  it's 
a  grand  show,  it's  a  wonderful  show,  sir,  and  a  proud  man  I 
am  to  see  your  honor  this  day.  And  ye'll  be  an  expert,  sir, 
and  ye'll  know  all  about  dogs  —  more  than  ever  they  know 
theirselves,  I'll  take  me  oath  to  ut." 

I  said,  with  modesty  — 

"I  believe  I  have  some  reputation  that  way.  In  fact,  my 
business  requires  it." 


422  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"Ye  have  some  reputation,  your  honor!  Bedad  I  believe 
you  !  There's  not  a  jintleman  in  the  worrld  that  can  lay  over 
ye  in  the  judgmint  of  a  dog,  sir.  Now  I'll  vinture  that  your 
honor'll  know  that  dog's  dimensions  there  better  than  he  knows 
them  his  own  self,  and  just  by  the  casting  of  your  educated  eye 
upon  him.    Would  you  mind  giving  a  guess,  if  ye'll  be  so  good  ? " 

I  knew  that  upon  my  answer  would  depend  my  fate.  If  I 
made  this  dog  bigger  than  the  prize-dog,  it  would  be  bad 
diplomacy,  and  suspicious  ;  if  I  fell  too  far  short  of  the  prize- 
dog,  that  would  be  equally  damaging.  The  dog  was  standing 
by  the  table,  and  I  believed  I  knew  the  difference  between  him 
and  the  one  whose  picture  I  had  seen  in  the  newspaper  to  a 
shade.     I  spoke  promptly  up  and  said  — 

"  It's  no  trouble  to  guess  this  noble  creature's  figures : 
height,  three  feet ;  length,  four  feet  and  three-quarters  of  an 
inch  ;  weight,  a  hundred  and  forty-eight  and  a  quarter." 

The  man  snatched  his  hat  from  its  peg  and  danced  on  it 
with  joy,  shouting  :  — 

"  Ye've  hardly  missed  it  the  hair's  breadth,  hardly  the  shade 
of  a  shade,  your  honor!  Oh,  it's  the  miraculous  eye  ye've  got, 
for  the  judgmint  of  a  dog  !  " 

And  still  pouring  out  his  admiration  of  my  capacities,  he 
snatched  off  his  vest  and  scoured  off  one  of  the  wooden  chairs 
with  it,  and  scrubbed  it  and  polished  it,  and  said- 

"  There,  sit  down,  your  honor,  I'm  ashamed  of  meself  that  I 
forgot  ye  were  standing  all  this  time ;  and  do  put  on  your  hat, 
ye  mustn't  take  cold,  it's  a  drafty  place ;  and  here  is  your 
cigar,  sir,  a  getting  cold,  I'll  give  ye  a  light.  There.  The 
place  is  all  yours,  sir,  and  if  ye'll  just  put  your  feet  on  the 
table  and  make  yourself  at  home,  I'll  stir  around  and  get  a 
candle  and  light  ye  up  the  ould  crazy  stairs  and  see  that  ye 
don't  come  to  anny  harm,  for  be  this  time  Mr.  Daly'll  be  that 
impatient  to  see  your  honor  that  he'll  be  taking  the  roof  off.'' 


YE  DOST  SAY,  Silt  ! 


THE    DOG    W().\. 


425 


He  conducted  me  cautiously  and  tenderly  up  the  stairs, 
lighting  the  way  and  protecting  me  with  friendly  warnings, 
then  pushed  the  door  open  and  bowed  me  in  and  went  his  way. 
mumbling  hearty  things  about  my  wonder-  ^T?^ 

ful  eye  for  points  of  a  dog.  Mr.  Daly  was         /'* -^ 
writing  and  had  his  back 
to  me.     He  glanced  over 
his     shoulder    presently, 
then  jumped  up  and  said—     ^ 


"Oh,  dear  me,  I  for- 
got all  about  giving  in- 
structions. I  was  just 
writing;  you  to  beg  a 
thousand  pardons.  But 
how  is  it  you  are  here  I  { 
How  did  }'ou  get  by  that 
Irishman  \  You  are  the  J 
first  man  that's  done  it 
in  five  and  twenty  years. 
You  didn't  bribe  him,  I 
know  that ;  there's  not 
money  enough  in  New 
York  to  do  it.  And  you  didn't  persuade  him  ;  he  is  all  ice  and 
iron:  there  isn't  a  soft  place  nor  a  warm  one  in  him  any- 
where. What  is  your  secret  \  Look  here ;  you  owe  me  a  hun- 
dred dollars  for  unintentionally  giving  you  a  chance  to  perform 
a  miracle  —  for  it  is  a  miracle  that  you've  done." 

"  That  is  all  right,1"  I  said,  "collect  it  of  Jimmy  Lewis." 

That  good  dog  not  only  did  me  that  good  turn  in  the  time 

of  my  need,  but  he  won  for  me  the  envious  reputation  among 

all  the  theatrical  people  from  the  Atlantic  to  the  Pacific  of 

being  the  only  man  in  history  who  had  ever  run  the  blockade 

CD  «  i 

of  August  in  Daly's  back  door. 


HE    LIGHTED    ME    UP   THE    STAIRS. 


CHAPTER  XLYI. 

If  the  desire  to  kill  and  the  opportunity  to  kill   came  always    together,  who 
would  escape  hanging.  —  I,add,nhead  Wilson'' s  New  Calendar. 

OX  the  Train.  Fifty  years  ago,  when  I  was  a  boy  in  the 
then  remote  and  sparsely  peopled  Mississippi  valley, 
vague  tales  and  rumors  of  a  mysterious  body  of  pro- 
fessional murderers  came  wandering  in  from  a  country  which 
was  constructively  as  far  from  us  as  the  constellations  blinking 
in  space-- India ;  vague  tales  and  rumors  of  a  sect  called 
Thugs,  who  waylaid  travelers  in  lonely  places  and  killed  them 
for  the  contentment  of  a  god  whom  they  worshiped;  tales 
which  everybody  liked  to  listen  to  and  nobody  believed  — 
except  with  reservations.  It  was  considered  that  the  stories 
had  gathered  bulk  on  their  travels.  The  matter  died  down 
and  a  lull  followed.  Then  Eugene  Sue's  "  Wandering  Jew  " 
appeared,  and  made  great  talk  for  a  while.  One  character  in 
it  was  a  chief  of  Thugs  —  ,k  Feringhea " — a  mysterious  and 
terrible  Indian  who  was  as  slippery  and  sly  as  a  serpent,  and 
as  deadly  ;  and  he  stirred  up  the  Thug  interest  once  more.  But 
it  did  not  last.  It  presently  died  again  —  this  time  to  stay  dead. 
At  first  glance  it  seems  strange  that  this  should  have 
happened;  but  really  it  was  not  strange  —  on  the  contrary,  it 
was  natural ;  I  mean  on  oar  side  of  the  water.  For  the  source 
whence  the  Thug  tales  mainly  came  was  a  Government  Report, 
and  without  doubt  was  not  republished  in  America;  it  was 
probably  never  even  seen  there.  Government  Reports  have 
no  general  circulation.  Thev  are  distributed  to  the  few,  and 
arc  not  always  read  by  those  few.     I  heard  of  this  Report  for 

i  4?r> ) 


THUGGEE.  4L>7 

the  first  time  a  day  or  two  ago,  ami  borrowed  it.  It  is  full  of 
fascinations;  and  it  turns  those  dim,  dark  fairytales  of  my 
boyhood  days  into  realities. 

The  Report  was  made  in  1839  by  Major  Sleeman,  of  the 
Indian  Service,  and  was  printed  in  Calcutta  in  L840.  It  is  a 
clumsy,  great,  fat,  poor  sample  of  the  printer's  art,  but  good 
enough  for  a  government  printing-office  in  that  old  day  and  in 
that  remote  region,  perhaps.  To  Major  Sleeman  was  given 
the  general  superintendence  of  the  giant  task  of  ridding  India 
of  Thuggee,  and  he  and  his  seventeen  assistants  accomplished 
it.  It  was  the  Augean  Stables  over  again.  ( 'aptain  Vallancey, 
writing  in  a  Madras  journal  in  those  old  times,  makes  this 
remark : 

"  The  day  that  sees  This  far-spread  evil  eradicated  from  India  and  known 
only  in  name,  will  greatly  tend  to  immortalize  British  rule  in  the  East." 

He  did  not  overestimate  the  magnitude  and  difficulty  of 
the  work,  nor  the  immensitv  of  the  credit  which  would  justly 
be  due  to  British  rule  in  case  it  was  accomplished. 

Thuggee  became  known  to  the  British  authorities  in  India 
about  1810,  but  its  wide  prevalence  was  not  suspected  ;  it  was 
not  regarded  as  a  serious  matter,  and  no  svstematic  measures 
were  taken  for  its  suppression  until  about  L830.  About  that 
time  Major  Sleeman  captured  Eugene  Sue's  Thug-chief, 
"  Feringhea,"  and  got  him  to  turn  Bang's  evidence.  The 
revelations  were  so  stupefying  that  Sleeman  was  not  able  to 
believe  them.  Sleeman  thought  he  knew  every  criminal  within 
his  jnrisdietion,  and  that  the  worst  of  them  were  merely 
thieves;  but  Feringhea  told  him  that  he  was  in  reality  living 
in  the  midst  of  a  swarm  of  professiomil  murderers  :  that  they 
had  been  all  about  him  for  many  years,  and  that  they  buried 
their  dead  close  by.  These  seemed  insane  tales  ;  but  Feringhea 
said  come  and  see  —  and  he  took  him  to  a  grave  and  dug  up  a 
hundred  bodies,   and   told    him   all    the   circumstances   of  the 


428  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

killings,  and  named  the  Thugs  who  had  done  the  work.  It 
was  a  staggering  business.  Sleeman  captured  some  of  these 
Thugs  and  proceeded  to  examine  them  separately,  and  with 
proper  precautions  against  collusion  ;  for  lie  would  not  believe 
any  Indian's  unsupported  word.  The  evidence  gathered  proved 
the  truth  of  what  Feringhea  had  said,  and  also  revealed  the 
fact  that  gangs  of  Thugs  were  plying  their  trade  all  over 
India.  The  astonished  government  now  took  hold  of  Thuggee, 
and  for  ten  years  made  systematic  and  relentless  war  upon  it, 
and  finally  destroyed  it.  Gang  after  gang  was  captured,  tried, 
and  punished.  The  Thugs  were  harried  and  hunted  from  one 
end  of  India  to  the  other.  The  government  got  all  their 
secrets  out  of  them  ;  and  also  got  the  names  of  the  members 
of  the  bands,  and  recorded  them  in  a  book,  together  with 
their  birthplaces  and  places  of  residence. 

The  Thugs  were  worshipers  of  Bhowanee ;  and  to  this  god 
they  sacrificed  anybody  that  came  handy;  but  they  kept  the 
dead  man's  things  themselves,  for  the  god  cared  for  nothing 
but  the  corpse.  Men  were  initiated  into  the  sect  with  solemn 
ceremonies.  Then  they  were  taught  how  to  strangle  a  person 
with  the  sacred  choke-cloth,  but  were  not  allowed  to  perform. 
officially  with  it  until  after  long  practice.  No  half-educated 
strangler  could  choke  a  man  to  death  quickly  enough  to  keep 
him  from  uttering  a  sound  —  a  muffled  scream,  gurgle,  gasp, 
moan,  or  something  of  the  sort;  but  the  expert's  work  was 
instantaneous  :  the  cloth  was  whipped  around  the  victim's  neck, 
there  was  a  sudden  twist,  and  the  head  fell  silently  forward, 
the  eyes  starting  from  the  sockets  ;  and  all  was  over.  The 
Thug  carefullv  guarded  against  resistance.  It  was  usual  to 
to  get  the  victims  to  sit  down,  for  that  was  the  handiest 
position  for  business. 

If  the  Thug  had  planned  India  itself  it  could  not  have  been 
more  conveniently  arranged  for  the  needs  of  his  occupation. 


THUG   ORGANIZATION.  429 

There  were  no  public  conveyances.  There  were  no  conveyances 
for  hire.  The  traveler  went  on  foot  or  in  a  bullock  cart  or  on  a 
horse  which  he  bought  for  the  purpose.  As  soon  as  he  was  out 
of  his  own  little  State  or  principality  he  was  among  strangers ; 
nobody  knew  him,  nobody  took  note  of  him,  and  from  that  time 
his  movements  could  no  longer  be  traced.  He  did  not  stop  in 
towns  or  villages,  but  camped  outside  of  them  and  sent  his  ser- 
vants in  to  buy  provisions.  There  were  no  habitations  between 
villages.  Whenever  he  was  bet  ween  villages  he  was  an  easy  prey, 
particularly  as  he  usually  traveled  by  night,  to  avoid  the  heat, 
lie  was  always  being  overtaken  by  strangers  who  offered  him 
the  protection  of  their  company,  or  asked  for  the  protection  of 
his  —  and  these  strangers  were  often  Thugs,  as  he  presently 
found  out  to  his  cost.  The  landholders,  the  native  police,  the 
petty  princes,  the  village  officials,  the  customs  officers  were  in 
many  cases  protectors  and  harborers  of  the  Thugs,  and 
betrayed  travelers  to  them  for  a  share  of  the  spoil.  At  first 
this  condition  of  things  made  it  next  to  impossible  for  the 
government  to  catch  the  marauders  ;  they  were  spirited  away 
by  these  watchful  friends.  All  through  a  vast  continent,  thus 
infested,  helpless  people  of  every  caste  and  kind  moved  along 
the  paths  and  trails  in  couples  and  groups  silently  by  night, 
carrying  the  commerce  of  the  country — treasure,  jewels, 
money,  and  petty  batches  of  silks,  spices,  and  all  manner  of 
wares.     It  was  a  paradise  for  the  Thug. 

When  the  autumn  opened,  the  Thugs  began  to  gather  to- 
gether by  pre-concert.  Other  people  had  to  have  interpreters 
at  every  turn,  but  not  the  Thugs;  they  could  talk  together, 
no  matter  how  far  apart  they  were  born,  for  they  had  a 
language  of  their  own,  and  they  had  secret  signs  by  which 
they  knew  each  other  for  Thugs ;  and  they  were  always  friends. 
Even  their  diversities  of  religion  and  caste  were  sunk  in 
devotion  to  their  calling,  and  the  Moslem  and  the  high-caste 


430  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

and  low-caste  Hindoo  were  staunch  and  affectionate  brothers 
in  Thuggery. 

When  a  gang  had  been  assembled,  they  had  religious 
worship,  and  waited  for  an  omen.  They  had  definite  notions 
about  the  omens.  The  cries  of  certain  animals  were  good 
omens,  the  cries  of  certain  other  creatures  were  bad  omens.  A 
bad  omen  would  stop  proceedings  and  send  the  men  home. 

The  sword  and  the  strangling-cloth  were  sacred  emblems. 
The  Thugs  worshiped  the  sword  at  home  before  going  out  to 
the  assembling-place;  the  strangling-cloth  was  worshiped  at 
the  place  of  assembly.  The  chiefs  of  most  of  the  bands  per- 
formed the  religious  ceremonies  themselves ;  but  the  Kaets 
delegated  them  to  certain  official  stranglers  (Chaurs).  The 
rites  of  the  Kaets  were  so  holy  that  no  one  but  the  Chaur  was 
allowed  to  touch  the  vessels  and  other  things  used  in  them. 


o 


Thug  methods  exhibit  a  curious  mixture  of  caution  and  the 
absence  of  it ;  cold  business  calculation  and  sudden,  unreflect- 
ing impulse ;  but  there  were  two  details  which  were  constant, 
and  not  subject  to  caprice :  patient  persistence  in  following  up 
the  prey,  and  pitilessness  when  the  time  came  to  act. 

Caution  was  exhibited  in  the  strength  of  the  bands.  They 
never  felt  comfortable  and  confident  unless  their  strength  ex- 
ceeded that  of  any  party  of  travelers  they  were  likely  to 
meet  by  four  or  fivefold.  Yet  it  was  never  their  purpose  to 
attack  openly,  but  only  when  the  victims  were  off  their  guard. 
A\  nen  they  got  hold  of  a  party  of  travelers  they  often  moved 
along  in  their  company  several  days,  using  all  manner  of  arts 
to  win  their  friendship  and  get  their  confidence.  At  last, 
when  this  was  accomplished  to  their  satisfaction,  the  real  busi- 
ness began.  A  few  Thugs  were  privately  detached  and  sent  for- 
ward in  the  dark  to  select  a  good  killing-place  and  dig  the  graves. 
When  the  rest  reached  the  spot  a  halt  was  called,  for  a  rest  or 
asmoke.    The  travelers  were  invited  to  sit.    By  signs,  the  chief 


MODE   OF   EXECUTION.  4;;i 

appointed  certain  Thugs  to  sit  down  in  front  of  the  travelers  as 
if  to  wait  upon  them,  others  to  sit  down  beside  them  and 
engage  them  in  conversation,  and  certain  expert  stranglers  to 
stand  behind  the  travelers  and  be  ready  when  the  signal  was 
given.  The  signal  was  usually  some  commonplace  remark, 
like  "Bring  the  tobacco."  Sometimes  a  considerable  wait 
ensued  after  all  the  actors  were  in  their  places  the  chief  was 
biding  his  time,  in  order  to  make  everything  sure.  Meantime, 
the  talk  droned  on,  dim  figures  moved  about  in  the  dull  light, 
peace  and  tranquility  reigned,  the  travelers  resigned  themselves 
to  the  pleasant  reposef'ulness  and  comfort  of  the  situation,  un- 
conscious of  the  death-angels  standing  motionless  at  their 
backs.  The  time  was  ripe,  now,  and  the  signal  came:  "Bring 
the  tobacco."  There  was  a  mute  swift  movement,  all  in  the 
same  instant  the  men  at  each  victim's  sides  seized  his  hands, 
the  man  in  front  seized  his  feet,  and  pulled,  the  man  at  his 
back  whipped  the  cloth  around  his  neck  and  gave  it  a  twist  - 
the  head  sunk  forward,  the  tragedy  was  over.  The  bodies 
were  stripped  and  covered  up  in  the  graves,  the  spoil  packed 
for  transportation,  then  the  Thugs  gave  pious  thanks  to 
Bhowanee,  and  departed  on  further  holy  service. 

The  Report  shows  that  the  travelers  moved  in  exceedinglv 
small  groups  —  twos,  threes,  fours,  as  a  rule;  a  party  with  a 
dozen  in  it  was  rare.  The  Thugs  themselves  seem  to  have  been 
the  only  people  who  moved  in  force.  They  went  about  in 
gangs  of  10,  15,  25,  4<»,  60,  loo,  150,  200,  250,  and  one  gang  of 
3lo  is  mentioned.  Considering  their  numbers,  their  catch  was 
not  extraordinary  -particularly  when  you  consider  that  they 
were  not  in  the  least  fastidious,  but  took  anybody  they  could 
get,  whether  rich  or  poor,  and  sometimes  even  killed  children. 
Now  and  then  they  killed  women,  but  it  was  considered 
sinful  to  do  it,  and  unlucky.  The  "season"  was  six  or  eight 
months   long.     One  season    the    half  dozen    Hundelkand   and 


4:J>2  FOLLOWING  THE    EQUATOB. 

Gwalior  gangs  aggregated  712  men,  and  they  murdered  210 
people.  One  season  the  Malwa  and  Kandeish  gangs  aggre- 
gated 702  men,  and  they  murdered  232.  One  season  the  Kan- 
deish  and  Berar  gangs  aggregated  (J63  men,  and  they  murdered 
.">s.">  people. 

Here  is  the  tally-sheet  of  a  gang  of  sixty  Thugs  for  a  whole 
season  — gang  under  two  noted  chiefs,  "  Chotee  and  Sheik  Nun- 
goo  from  Gwalior  " : 

"  Left  Poora,  in  Jhansee,  and  on  arrival  at  Sarora  murdered  a  traveler. 

"On  nearly  reaching  Bhopal,  met  3  Brahmins,  and  murdered  them. 

"  Cross  the  Nerbudda  ;  at  a  village  called  Hutteea,  murdered  a  Hindoo. 

"  Went  through  Aurungabad  to  Walagow;  there  met  a  Havildar  of  the 
barber  caste  and  5  sepoys  (native  soldiers)  ;  in  the  evening  came  to  Jokur.  and 
in  the  morning  killed  them  near  the  place  where  the  treasure-bearers  were 
killed  the  year  before. 

"  Between  Jokur  and  Dholeea  met  a  sepoy  of  the  shepherd  caste  ;  killed 
him  in  the  jungle. 

"  Passed  through  Dholeea  and  lodged  in  a  village  ;  two  miles  beyond,  on 
the  road  to  Indore,  met  a  Byragee  (beggar  —  holy  mendicant);  murdered  him 
at  the  Thapa. 

"  In  the  morning,  beyond  the  Thapa.  fell  in  with  3  Marwarie  travelers; 
murdered  them. 

"  Near  a  village  on  the  banks  of  the  Taptee  met  4  travelers  and  killed 
them. 

"Between  C'houpra  and  Dhoreea  met  a  Marwarie  ;  murdered  him. 

"  At  Dhoreea  met  3  Marwaries  ;  took  them  two  miles  and  murdered 
them. 

"Two  miles  further  on,  overtaken  by  three  treasure-bearers  ;  took  them 
two  miles  and  murdered  them  in  the  jungle. 

"  Came  on  to  Khurgore  Bateesa  in  Indore,  divided  spoil,  and  dispersed. 

"A  total  of  27  men  murdered  on  one  expedition."' 

Chotee  (to  save  his  neck)  was  informer,  and  furnished  these 
facts.  Several  things  are  noticeable  about  his  resume.  1. 
Business  brevity  ;  2,  absence  of  emotion ;  3,  smallness  of  the 
parties  encountered  by  the  60;  4,  variety  in  character  and 
quality  of  the  game  captured ;  5,  Hindoo  and  Mohammedan 
chiefs  in  business  together  for  Bhowanee ;  6,  the  sacred  caste 
of  the  Brahmins  not  respected  by  either;  7,  nor  yet  the  char- 
acter of  that  mendicant,  that  Byragee. 


TIU'G   RECORDS.  [:; 


Q 


A  beggar  is  a  holy  creature,  and  some  of  the  gangs  spared 
him  on  that  account,  no  matter  how  slack  business  might  be; 
but  other  gangs  slaughtered  not  only  him,  but  even  that 
sacredest  of  sacred  creatures,  the  fakeer  —  that  repulsive  skin- 
and-bone  thing  that  goes  around  naked  and  mats  his  bushy 
hair  with  dust  and  dirt,  and  so  berlours  his  lean  body  with 
ashes  that  he  looks  like  a  specter.  Sometimes  a  fakeer  trusted 
a  shade  too  far  in  the  protection  of  his  sacredness.  In  the 
middle  of  a  tally-sheet  of  Feringhea's,  who  had  been  out  with 
forty  Thugs,  1  find  a  case  of  the  kind.  After  the  killing  of 
thirty-nine  men  and  one  woman,  the  fakeer  appears  on  the  scene : 

"  Approaching  Doregow,  met  3  pundits  ;  also  a  fakeer,  mounted  on  a 
pony  ;  he  was  plastered  over  with  sugar  to  collect  flies,  and  was  covered  with 
them.     Drove  off  the  fakeer,  and  killed  the  other  three. 

"Leaving  Doregow,  the  fakeer  joined  again,  and  went  on  in  company  to 
Raojana  :  met  6  Khutries  on  their  way  from  Bombay  to  Nagpore.  Drove  off 
the  fakeer  with  stones,  and  killed  the  6  men  in  camp,  and  buried  them  in  the 
grove. 

"  Next  day  the  fakeer  joined  again;  made  him  leave  at  Mana.  Beyond 
there,  fell  in  with  two  Kahars  and  a  sepoy,  and  came  on  towards  the  place 
selected  for  the  murder.  When  near  it,  the  fakeer  came  again.  Losing  all 
patience  with  him.  gave  Mithoo,  one  of  the  gang,  5  rupees  ($2.50)  to  murder 
him,  and  take  the  sin  upon  himself.  All  four  were  strangled,  including  the 
fakeer.  Surprised  to  find  among  the  fakeer's  effects  30  pounds  of  coral,  350 
strings  of  small  pearls,  15  strings  of  large  pearls,  and  a  gilt  necklace." 

It  it  curious,  the  little  effect  that  time  has  upon  a  really 

interesting  circumstance.     This  one,  so  old,  so  long  ago  gone 

down  into  oblivion,  reads  with  the  same  freshness  and  charm 

that  attach  to  the  news  in  the  morning  paper;  one's  spirits  go 

up,   then  down,   then  up  again,  following  the  chances  which 

the  fakeer  is  running ;  now  you  hope,  now  you  despair,  now 

you  hope  again;  and  at  last  everything  comes  out  right,  and 

you  feel  a  great  wave  of  personal  satisfaction    go  weltering 

through  you,  and  without  thinking,  you  put  out  your  hand  to 

pat  Mithoo   on  the  back,  when  —  puff!  the  whole  thing  has 

vanished  away,  there  is  nothing  there;  Mithoo  and   all    the 

28 


434  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

crowd  have  been  dust  and  ashes  and  forgotten,  oh,  so  many, 
many,  many  lagging  years!  And  then  comes  a  sense  of 
injury  :  you  don't  know  whether  Mithoo  got  the  swag,  along 
with  the  sin,  or  had  to  divide  up  the  swag  and  keep  all  the  sin 
himself.  There  is  no  literary  art  about  a  government  report. 
It  stops  a  story  right  in  the  most  interesting  place. 

These  reports  of  Thug  expeditions  run  along  interminably 
in  one  monotonous  tune:  "Met  a  sepoy  —  killed  him  ;  met  5 
pundits  —  killed  them  ;  met  1  Rajpoots  and  a  woman --killed 
them"  -and  so  on,  till  the  statistics  get  to  be  pretty  dry. 
But  this  small  trip  of  Feringhea's  Forty  had  some  little  variety 
about  it.  ( )nce  they  came  across  a  man  hiding  in  a  grave  — 
a  thief;  he  had  stolen  1,100  rupees  from  Dhunroj  Seith  of 
Parowtee.  They  strangled  him  and  took  the  money.  They 
had  no  patience  with  thieves.  They  killed  two  treasure- 
bearers,  and  got  4,000  rupees.  They  came  across  two  bullocks 
"laden  with  copper  pice,1'  and  killed  the  four  drivers  and  took 
the  money.  There  must  have  been  half  a  ton  of  it.  I  think 
it  takes  a  double  handful  of  pice  to  make  an  anna,  and  16 
annas  to  make  a  rupee  ;  and  even  in  those  days  the  rupee  was 
worth  only  half  a  dollar.  Coming;  back  over  their  tracks 
from  Baroda,  they  had  another  picturesque  stroke  of  luck : 
"  The  Lbhars  of  Oodeypore "  put  a  traveler  in  their  charge 
"for  safety."  Dear,  dear,  across  this  abyssmal  gulf  of  time  we 
still  see  Feringhea's  lips  uncover  his  teeth,  and  through  the 
dim  haze  we  catch  the  incandescent  glimmer  of  his  smile.  He 
accepted  that  trust,  good  man ;  and  so  we  know  what  went 
with  the  traveler. 

Even  Rajahs  had  no  terrors  for  Feringhea ;  he  came  across 
an  elephant-driver  belonging  to  the  Rajah  of  Oodeypore  and 
promptly  strangled  him. 

"  A  total  of  lot)  men  and  5  women  murdered  on  this  ex- 
pedition." 


WHO    WERE   VICTIMS. 


435 


Among  the   reports   of   expeditions    we   find   mention  ol 
victims  of  almost  every  quality  and  estate: 


Native  .soldiers. 

Fakeers. 

Mendicants. 

Holy-water  carriers. 

Carpenters. 

Peddlers. 

Tailors. 

Blacksmiths. 

Policemen  (native). 

Pastry  cooks. 

Grooms. 


Chuprassies. 

Treasure-bearers. 
Children. 
Cowherds. 
Gardeners. 
Shopkeepers. 
Palanquin-bearers. 
Farmers. 
Bullock-drivers. 
Male  servants  seeking 
work. 


Women  servants  seeking 

work. 
Shepherds. 
Archers. 
Table-waiters. 
Weavers. 
Priests. 
Bankers. 
Boatmen. 
Merchants. 
Grass-cutters. 


Mecca  pilgrims. 

Also  a  prince's  cook;  and  even  the  water-carrier  of  that 

sublime  lord  of  lords  and  king  of  kings,  the  Governor-General 

of  India !     How  broad  they  were  in  their  tastes !     They  also 

murdered  actors  —  poor  wandering  barn-stormers.     There  are 

two  instances  recorded;  the  first  one  by  a  gang  of  Thugs 

under  a  chief  who  soils  a  great  name  borne  by  a  better  man  - 

Kipling's  deathless  "  Gungadin  "  : 

'After  murdering  4  sepoys,  going  on  toward  Indore,  met  4  strolling 
players,  and  persuaded  them  to  come  with  us,  on  the  pretense  that  we  would 
see  their  performance  at  the  next  stage.  Murdered  them  at  a  temple  near 
Bhopal." 

Second  instance  : 

"At  Deohuttee,  joined  by  comedians.  Murdered  them  eastward  of  that 
place." 

But  this  gang  was  a  particularly  bad  crew.  On  that  ex- 
pedition they  murdered  a  fakeer  and  twelve  beggars.  And 
yet  Bbowanee  protected  them  ;  for  once  when  they  were 
strangling  a  man  in  a  wood  when  a  crowd  was  going  by  close 
at  hand  and  the  noose  slipped  and  the  man  screamed,  Bho- 
wanee made  a  camel  burst  out  at  the  same  moment  with  a 
roar  that  drowned  the  scream  ;  and  before  the  man  could 
repeat  it  the  breath  was  choked  out  of  his  body. 

The  cow  is  so  sacred  in  India  that  to  kill  her  keeper  is  an 
awful  sacrilege,  and  even  the  Thugs  recognized  this  ;  vet  now 


436  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  then  the  lust  for  blood  was  too  strong,  and  so  thev  did 
kill  a  few  cow-keepers.  In  one  of  these  instances  the  witness 
who  killed  the  cowherd  said,  "In  Thuggee  this  is  strictly  for- 
bidden, and  is  an  act  from  which  no  good  can  come.  I  was 
ill  of  a  fever  for  ten  days  afterward.  I  do  believe  that  evil 
will  follow  the  murder  of  a  man  with  a  cow.  If  there  be  no 
cow  it  does  not  signify."  Another  Thug  said  lie  held  the 
cowherd's  feet  while  this  witness  did  the  strangling-.  He  felt 
no  concern,  "  because  the  bad  fortune  of  such  a  deed  is  upon 
the  strangler  and  not  upon  the  assistants;  even  if  there  should 
be  a  hundred  of  them." 

There  were  thousands  of  Thugs  roving  over  India  COn- 
stantly,  during  many  generations.  They  made  Thuggee  a 
hereditary  vocation  and  taught  it  to  their  sons  and  to  their 
son's  sons.  Boys  were  in  fall  membership  as  early  as  16  years 
of  age;  veterans  were  still  at  work  at  70.  AVhat  was  the 
fascination,  what  was  the  impulse?  Apparently,  it  was  partly 
piety,  largely  gain,  and  there  is  reason  to  suspect  that  the 
sport  afforded  was  the  chief  est  fascination  of  all.  Meadows 
Taylor  makes  a  Thug  in  one  of  his  books  claim  that  the  pleas- 
ure of  killing  men  was  the  white  man's  beast-hunting  instinct 
enlarged,  refined,  ennobled.     I  will  quote  the  passage: 


CHAPTEE  XLVTT. 

Simple  rules  for  saving  .money  :  To  save  half,  when  you  are  fired  by  an  eager 
impulse  to  contribute  to  a  charity,  wait,  and  couut  forty.  To  save  three-quarters, 
count  sixty.     To  save  it  all,  counl  sixty-five. —  Pudd'nhead  Wdson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  Thug  said: 
"How  many  of  you  English  tire  passionately  devoted  to  sport- 
ing !     Your   days   and    months   are   passed   in    its   excitement.     A 
tiger,  a  panther,  a  buffalo  or  a  hog  rouses  your  utmost,  energies  for 
its  destruction  —  you  even  risk  your  lives  in  its  pursuit.     How  much  higher 
game  is  a  Thug's  '  " 

That  must  really  be  the  secret  of  the  rise  and  development 
of  Thuggee.  The  joy  of  killing!  the  joy  of  seeing  killing 
done  —  these  are  traits  of  the  human  race  at  large.  We  white 
people  are  merely  modified  Thugs;  Thugs  fretting  under  the 
restraints  of  a  not  very  thick  skin  of  civilization;  Thugs 
who  lonu'  ago  enjoyed  the  slaughter  of  the  Roman  arena,  and 
later  the  burning  of  doubtful  Christians  by  authentic  Christians 
in  the  public  squares,  and  who  now,  with  the  Thugs  of  Spain 
and  Ximes,  flock  to  enjoy  the  blood  and  misery  of  the  bull- 
ring. We  have  no  tourists  of  either  sex  or  any  religion  who 
are  able  to  resist  the  delights  of  the  bull-ring  when  opportunity 
offers;  and  Ave  are  gentle  Thugs  in  the  hunting-season,  and 
love  to  chase  a  tame  rabbit  and  kill  it.  Still,  we  have  made 
some  progress  —  microscopic,  and  in  truth  scarcely  worth 
mentioning,  and  certainly  nothing  to  be  proud  of --still,  it  is 
progress:  we  no  longer  take  pleasure  in  slaughtering  or  burn- 
ing helpless  men.  We  have  reached  a  little  altitude  where  we 
may  look  down  upon  the  Indian  Thugs  with  a  complacent 
shudder ;  and  we  may  even  hope  for  a  day,  many  centuries  hence, 
when  our  posterity  will  look  down  upon  us  in  the  same  way. 

(487) 


438  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

There  are  many  indications  that  the  Thug  often    hunted 

men  for  the  mere  sport  of  it;  that  the  fright  and  pain  of  the 

quarry  were  no  more  to  him  than  are  the  fright  and  pain  of 

the  rabbit  or  the  stag  to  us  ;  and  that  he  was  no  more  ashamed 

of  beguiling  his  game  with  deceits  and  abusing  its  trust  than 

are  we  when  we  have  imitated  a  wild  animal's  call  and  shot  it 

when  it  honored  us  with  its  confidence  and  came  to  see  what 

we  wanted  : 

"Madara,  son  of  Nihal,  and  I,  Ramzam,  set  out  from  Kotdee  in  the  cold 
weather  and  followed  the  high  road  for  about  twenty  days  in  search  of 
travelers,  until  we  came  to  Selempore,  where  we  met  a  very  old  man  going  to 
the  east.  We  won  his  confidence  in  this  manner  :  he  carried  a  load  which 
was  too  heavy  for  his  old  age  ;  I  said  to  him,  '  You  are  an  old  man,  I  will  aid 
you  in  carrying  your  load,  as  you  are  from  my  part  of  the  country.'  He 
said.  '  Very  well,  take  me  with  you.'  So  we  took  him  with  us  to  Selempore, 
where  we  slept  that  night.  We  woke  him  next  morning  before  dawn  and  set 
out.  and  at  the  distance  of  three  miles  we  seated  him  to  rest  while  it  was  still 
very  dark.  .Madara  was  ready  behind  him.  and  strangled  him.  He  never 
spoke  a  word.     He  was  about  60  or  TO  years  of  age." 

Another  gang  fell  in  with  a  couple  of  barbers  and  persuaded 
them  to  come  along  in  their  company  by  promising  them  the 
job  of  shaving  the  whole  crew  —  30  Thugs.  At  the  place  ap- 
pointed for  the  murder  15  got  shaved,  and  actually  paid  the 
barbers  for  their  work.  Then  killed  them  and  took  back  the 
money. 

A  gang  of  forty-two  Thugs  came  across  two  Brahmins  and 
a  shopkeeper  on  the  road,  beguiled  them  into  a  grove  and  got 
up  a  concert  for  their  entertainment.  While  these  poor  fellows 
were  listenincr  to  the  music  the  stranglers  were  standing  behind 
them;  and  at  the  proper  moment  for  dramatic  effect  they 
applied  the  noose. 

The  most  devoted  fisherman  must  have  a  bite  at  least  as 
often  as  once  a  week  or  his  passion  will  cool  and  he  will  put 
up  his  tackle.  The  tiger-sportsman  must  find  a  tiger  at  least 
once  a  fortnight  or  he  will  get  tired  and  quit.  The  elephant- 
hunter's  enthusiasm  will  waste  away  little  by  little,  and  his 


THE  THIRST   FOR  BLOOD.  439 

zeal  will  perish  at  last  if  he  plod  around  a  month  without  find- 
ing a  member  of  that  noble  family  to  assassinate. 

But  when  the  lust  in  the  hunter's  heart  is  for  the  noblest  of 
all  quarries,  man,  how  different  is  the  case!  and  how  watery 
and  poor  is  the  zeal  and  how  childish  the  endurance  of  those 
other  hunters  by  comparison.  Then,  neither  hunger,  nor 
thirst,  nor  fatigue,  nor  deferred  hope,  nor  monotonous  disap- 
pointment, nor  leaden-footed  lapse  of  time  can  conquer  the 
hunter's  patience  or  weaken  the  joy  of  his  quest  or  cool  the 
splendid  rage  of  his  desire.  Of  all  the  hunting-passions  that 
burn  in  the  breast  of  man,  there  is  none  that  can  lift  him 
superior  to  discouragements  like  these  but  the  one  —  the  royal 
sport,  the  supreme  sport,  whose  quarry  is  his  brother.  By 
comparison,  tiger-hunting  is  a  colorless  poor  thing,  for  all  it 
has  been  so  bragged  about. 

Why,  the  Thug  was  content  to  tram])  patiently  along, 
afoot,  in  the  wasting  heat  of  India,  week  after  week,  at  an 
average  of  nine  or  ten  miles  a  day,  if  he  might  but  hope  to 
find  gamesome  time  or  other  and  refresh  his  longing  soul  with 
blood.     Here  is  an  instance: 

"I  (Ramzam)  and  Hyder  set  out,  for  the  purpose  of  strangling 
travelers,  from  Guddapore,  and  proceeded  via  the  Fort  of  Julalabad, 
Newulgunge,  Bangermow,  on  the  banks  of  the  Ganges  (upwards  of  100 
miles),  from  whence  we  returned  by  another  route.  Still  no  travelers  !  till 
we  reached  Bowaneegunge,  where  we  fell  in  with  a  traveler,  a  boatman  ;  we 
inveigled  him  and  about  two  miles  east  of  there  Hyder  strangled  him  as  he 
stood  —  for  he  was  troubled  and  afraid,  and  would  not  sit.  We  then  made  a 
long  journey  (about  130  miles)  and  reached  Hussunpore  Bundwa,  where  at 
the  tank  we  fell  in  with  a  traveler  — lie  slept  there  that  night  ;  next  morning 
we  followed  him  and  tried  to  win  his  confidence  ;  at  the  distance  of  two  miles 
we  endeavored  to  induce  him  to  sit  down  —  but  he  would  not.  having  become 
aware  of  us.  I  attempted  to  strangle  him  as  he  walked  along,  but  did  not 
succeed  ;  both  of  us  then  fell  upon  him,  he  made  a  great  outcry,  '  They  arc 
murdering  me  !  '  at  length  we  strangled  him  and  flung  his  body  into  a  well. 
After  this  we  returned  to  our  homes,  having  been  out  a  month  and  traveled 
about  260  miles.     A  total  of  two  men  murdered  on  the  expedition." 

And  here  is  another  case  —  related  by  the  terrible  Futty  Khan, 
a  man  with  a  tremendous  record,  to  be  re-mentioned  by  and  by  ; 


440  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

"I,  with  three  others,  traveled  for  about  45  days  a  distance  of  about  200 
miles  in  search  of  victims  along  the  highway  to  Bundwa  and  returned  by  Da- 
vodpore  (another  200  miles)  during  which  journey  we  had  only  one  murder, 
which  happened  in  this  manner.  Four  miles  to  the  east  of  Noubus-taghat  we 
fell  in  with  a  traveler,  an  old  man.  I,  with  Koshal  and  Hyder,  inveigled  him 
and  accompanied  him  that  day  within  3  miles  of  Rampoor,  where,  after  dark, 
in  a  lonely  place,  we  got  him  to  sit  down  and  rest ;  and  while  I  kept  him  in 
talk,  seated  before  him,  Hyder  behind  strangled  him  :  he  made  no  resistance. 
Koshal  stabbed  him  under  the  arms  and  in  the  throat,  and  we  Hung  the  body 
into  a  running  stream.  We  got  about  4  or  5  rupees  each  ($2  or  $2.50).  We 
then  proceeded  homewards.  A  total  of  one  man  murdered  on  this  expedi- 
tion." 

There.  They  tramped  400  miles,  were  gone  about  three 
months,  and  harvested  two  dollars  and  a  half  apiece.  But  the 
mere  pleasure  of  the  hunt  was  sufficient.  That  was  pay  enongh. 
They  did  no  grumbling-. 

Every  now  and  then  in  this  big  book  one  comes  across  that 
pathetic  remark  :  "  We  tried  to  get  him  to  sit  down  but  he 
would  not."  It  tells  the  whole  story.  Some  accident  had 
awakened  the  suspicion  in  him  that  these  smooth  friends  who 
had  been  petting  and  coddling  him  and  making  him  feel  so 
safe  and  so  fortunate  after  his  forlorn  and  lonelv  wanderings 
were  the  dreaded  Thugs;  and  now  their  ghastly  invitation  to 
"  sit  and  rest "  had  confirmed  its  truth.  He  knew  there  was 
no  help  for  him,  and  that  he  was  looking  his  last  upon  earthly 
things,  but  "  he  would  not  sit."  No,  not  that  —  it  was  too 
awful  to  think  of ! 

There  are  a  number  of  instances  which  indicate  that  when 

a  man  had  once  tasted  the  regal  joys  of  man-hunting  he  could 

not  be  content  with  the  dull  monotony  of  a  crimeless  life  after 

ward.     Example,  from  a  Thug's  testimony  : 

"We  passed  through  to  Kurnaul,  where  we  found  a  former  Thug  named 
Junooa,  an  old  comrade  of  ours,  who  had  turned  religious  mendicant  and 
become  a  disciple  and  holy.  He  came  to  us  in  the  serai  and  weeping  with 
joy  returned  to  his  old  trade." 

Neither  wealth  nor  honors  nor  dignities  could  satisfy  a  re- 
formed  Thug  for  long.     He  would  throw  them  all  away,  some 


MAN    HUNTING    A   CONFIRMED    BABIT.  44.] 

day,  and  go  back  to  the  lurid  pleasures  of  hunting  men,  and 
being  hunted  himself  by  the  British. 

Ramzam  was  taken  into  a  great  native  grandee's  service  and 
given  authority  over  live  villages.  "  My  authority  extended 
over  these  people  to  summons  them  to  my  presence,  to  make 
them  stand  or  sit.  I  dressed  well,  rode  my  pony,  and  had  two 
sepoys,  a  scribe  and  a  village  guard  to  attend  me.  During 
three  years  I  used  to  pay  each  village  a  monthly  visit,  and  no 
one  suspected  that  I  was  a  Thug  !  The  chief  man  used  to  wait 
on  me  to  transact  business,  and  as  I  passed  along,  old  and 
young  made  their  salaam  to  me." 

And  vet  during  that  very  three  years  he  got  leave  of 
absence  "to  attend  a  wedding,"  and  instead  went  off  on  a 
Thuffffinfi;  lark  with  six  other  Thugs  and  hunted  the  highway 
for  fifteen  days  !    -  with  satisfactory  results. 

Afterwards  he  held  a  great  office  under  a  Rajah.  There  he 
had  ten  miles  of  country  under  his  command  and  a  military 
guard  of  fifteen  men,  with  authority  to  call  out  2,000  more 
upon  occasion.  But  the  British  got  on  his  track,  and  they 
crowded  him  so  that  he  had  to  give  himself  up.  See  what  a 
figure  he  was  when  he  was  gotten  up  for  style  and  had  all  his 
things  on:  "  I  was  fully  armed  —  a  sword,  shield,  pistols,  a 
matchlock  musket  and  a  Hint  gun,  for  I  was  fond  of  being  thus 
arrayed,  and  when  so  armed  feared  not  though  forty  men 
stood  before  me." 

He  gave  himself  up  and  proudly  proclaimed  himself  a  Thug. 
Then  by  request  he  agreed  to  betray  his  friend  and  pal, 
Bahrain,  a  Thug  with  the  most  tremendous  record  in  India. 
"I  went  to  the  house  where  Buhram  slept  (often  has  he  led 
our  gangs!  )  I  woke  him,  he  knew  me  well,  and  came  outside 
to  me.  It  was  a  cold  night,  so  under  pretence  of  warming 
myself,  but  in  reality  to  have  light  for  his  seizure  by  the  guards, 
I  lighted  some  straw  and  made  a  blaze.     We  were  warming 


442  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

our  hands.  The  guards  drew  around  us.  I  said  to  them. 
"This  is  tfuhram,"  and  he  was  seized  just  as  a  cat  seizes  a 
mouse.  Then  Buhram  said,  "I  am  a  Thug!  my  father  was  a 
Thug,  my  grandfather  was  a  Thug,  and  I  have  thugged  with 
many  !  " 

So  spoke  the  mighty  hunter,  the  mightiest  of  the  mighty, 
the  Gordon  ( 'umniing  of  his  day.  Not  much  regret  noticeable 
in  it.* 

So  many  many  times  this  ( )fficial  Report  leaves  one's 
curiosity  unsatisfied.  For  instance,  here  is  a  little  paragraph 
out  of  the  record  of  a  certain  band  of  L93  Thugs,  which  has 
that  defect : 

"  Fell  in  with  Lall  Sing  Subahdar  and  his  family,  consisting  of  nine  per- 
sons. Traveled  with  them  two  days,  and  the  third  put  them  all  to  death 
except  the  two  children,  little  boys  of  one  and  a  half  years  old." 

There  it  stops.  What  did  they  do  with  those  poor  little 
fellows  ?  What  was  their  subsequent  history  (  Did  they 
purpose  training  them  up  as  Thugs '.  How  could  they  take 
care  of  such  little  creatures  on  a  march  which  stretched  over 
several  months  (  Xo  one  seems  to  have  cared  to  ask  any 
questions  about  the  babies.      Hut  1  do  wish  1  knew. 

One  would  be  apt  to  imagine  that  the  Thugs  were  utterly 
callous,   utterly  destitute  of  human  feelings,  heartless  toward 


*"  Having  planted  a  bullet  in  the  shoulder-bone  of  au  elephant,  and  caused  the 
agonized  creature  to  lean  for  support  against  a  tree,  I  proceeded  to  brew  some  coffee. 
Having  refreshed  myself,  taking  observations  of  the  elephant's  spasms  and  writh- 
ings  between  the  sips,  I  resolved  to  make  experiments  on  vulnerable  points,  and, 
approaching  very  near,  I  tired  several  bullets  at  different  parts  of  his  enormous  skull. 
He  only  acknowledged  the  shots  by  a  salaam-like  movement  of  his  trunk,  with  the 
point  of  which  he  gently  touched  the  wounds  with  a  striking  and  peculiar  action. 
Surprised  and  shocked  to  tind  that  I  was  only  prolonging  the  suffering  of  the  noble 
beast,  which  bore  its  trials  with  such  dignified  composure,  I  resolved  to  finish  the 
proceeding  with  all  possible  despatch,  and  accordingly  opened  fire  upon  him  from 
the  left  side.  Aiming  at  the  shoulder,  I  fired  six  shots  with  the  two-grooved  rifle, 
which  must  have  eventually  proved  mortal,  after  which  I  fired  six  shots  at  the  same 
part  with  the  Dutch  six-pounder.  Large  tears  now  trickled  down  from  his  eyes, 
which  he  slowly  shut  and  opened,  his  colossal  frame  shivered  convulsively,  and  fall- 
ing on  his  side  he  expired." —  Gordon  Camming, 


FAMILY   AFFECTION    A.MONG   THUGS.  44:; 

their  own  families  as  well  as  toward  other  people's;  but  this 
was  not  so.  Like  all  other  Indians,  they  had  a  passionate  love 
for  their  kin.  A  shrewd  British  officer  who  knew  the  Indian 
character,  took  that  characteristic  into  account  in  laying  his 
plans  for  the  capture  of  Eugene  Sue's  famous  Feringhea.  He 
found  out  Feringhea's  hiding-place,  and  sent  a  guard  by  night 
to  seize  him,  hut  the  squad  was  awkward  and  he  got  away. 
However,  they  got  the  rest  of  the  family  —  the  mother,  wife, 
child,  and  brother  —  and  brought  them  to  the  officer,  at  Jubbul- 
pore ;  the  officer  did  not  fret,  but  bided  his  time  :  "  I  knew 
Fering*hea  would  not  go  far  while  links  so  dear  to  him  were  in 
my  hands."  He  was  right.  Feringhea  knew  all  the  danger 
he  was  running  by  staying;  in  the  neighborhood,  still  he  could 
n<  »t  tear  himself  away.  The  officer  found  that  he  divided  his  time 
between  five  villages  where  he  had  relatives  and  friends  who 
could  get  news  for  him  from  his  family  in  Jubbulpore  jail  : 
and  that  he  never  slept  two  consecutive  nights  in  the  same 
village.  The  officer  traced  out  his  several  haunts,  then  pounced 
upon  all  the  five  villages  on  the  one  night  and  at  the  same 
hour,  and  got  his  man. 

Another  example  of  family  affection.  A  little  while 
previously  to  the  capture  of  Feringhea's  family,  the  British 
officer  had  captured  Feringhea's  foster-brother,  leader  of  a 
gang  of  ten,  and  had  tried  the  eleven  and  condemned  them  to 
be  hanged.  Feringhea's  captured  family  arrived  at  the  jail 
the  day  before  the  execution  was  to  take  place.  The  foster- 
brother,  Jhurhoo,  entreated  to  be  allowed  to  see  the  aged 
mother  and  the  others.  The  prayer  was  granted,  and  this  is 
what  took  place —  it  is  the  British  officer  who  speaks : 

"In  the  morning,  just  before  going  to  the  scaffold,  the  interview  took 
place  before  me.  He  fell  at  the  old  woman's  feet  and  begged  that  she  would 
relieve  him  from  the  obligations  of  the  milk  with  which  she  had  nourished 
him  from  infancy,  as  he  was  about  to  die  before  he  could  fulfill  any  of  them. 
She  placed  her  hands  on  his  head,  and  he  knelt,  and  she  said  she  forgave  him 
all.  and  bid  him  die  like  a  man." 


444  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

If  a  capable  artist  should  make  a  picture  of  it,  it  would  be 
full  of  dignity  and  solemnity  and  pathos;  and  it  could  touch 
you.  You  would  imagine  it  to  be  anything  but  what  it  was. 
There  is  lvverence  there,  and  tenderness,  and  gratefulness,  and 
compas '.ion,  and  resignation,  and  fortitude,  and  self-respect  — 
and  no  sense  of  disgrace,  no  thought  of  dishonor.  Everything 
is  there  that  goes  to  make  a  noble  parting,  and  give  it  ;i 
moving  grace  and  beauty  and  dignity.  And  yet  one  of  these 
people  is  a  Thug  and  the  other  a  mother  of  Thugs  !  The  in- 
congruities of  our  human  nature  seem  to  reach  their  limit  here. 

I  wish  to  make  note  of  one  curious  thing  while  I  think  of 
it.  One  of  the  very  commonest  remarks  to  be  found  in  this 
bewildering;  array  of  Thug  confessions  is  this: 

"  Strangled  him  and  threw  him  in  a  we'll!"  In  one  case 
they  threw  sixteen  into  a  well --and  they  had  thrown  others 
in  the  same  well  before.  It  makes  a  body  thirsty  to  read 
about  it. 

And  there  is  another  very  curious  thing.  The  bands  of 
Thugs  had  'private  graveyards.  They  did  not  like  to  kill  and 
bury  at  random,  here  and  there  and  everywhere.  Thev  pre- 
ferred  to  wait,  and  toll  the  victims  along,  and  get  to  one  of 
their  regular  burying-places  (bheels)  if  they  could.  In  the 
little  kingdom  of  Oude,  which  was  about  half  as  big  as  Ireland 
and  about  as  big  as  the  State  of  Maine,  they  had  two  hundred 
and  seventy  four  bheels.  They  were  scattered  along  fourteen 
hundred  miles  of  road,  at  an  average  of  on\jJiV(  miles  apart, 
and  the  British  government  traced  out  and  located  each  and 
every  one  of  them  and  set  them  down  on  the  map. 

The  Oude  bands  seldom  went  out  of  their  own  country,  but 
thev  did  a  thriving  business  within  its  borders.  So  did  outside 
bands  who  came  in  and  helped.  Some  of  the  Thug  leaders  of 
Oude  were  noted  for  their  successful  careers.  Each  of  four  of 
them  confessed  to  above  300  murders;  another  to  nearlv  400  ; 


ERADICATION  OF  THUGGEE.  |  \;> 

our  friend  Ramzam  to  604--he  is  the  one  who  got  leave  of 
absence  to  attend  a  wedding  and  went  thugging  instead;  and 
he  is  also  the  one  who  betrayed  Bahrain  to  the  British. 

But  the  biggest  records  of  all  were  the  murder-lists  of  Futty 
Khan  and  Bahrain.  Futty  Khan's  number  is  smaller  than 
Ramzam's,  but  he  is  placed  at  the  head  because  his  average  is 
the  best  in  Oude-Thug  history  per  year  of  service.  His 
slaughter  was  508  men  in  twenty  years,  and  he  was  still  a 
young  man  when  the  British  stopped  his  industry.  Buhram's 
list  was  931  murders,  but  it  took  him  forty  years.  His  aver- 
age was  one  man  and  nearly  all  of  another  man  per  month  for 
forty  years,  but  Futty  Khan's  average  was  two  men  and  a  little 
of  another  man  per  month  during  his  twenty  years  of  useful- 
ness. 

There  is  one  very  striking  thing  which  1  wish  to  call  atten- 
tion to.  You  have  surmised  from  the  listed  callings  followed 
by  the  victims  of  the  Thugs  that  nobody  could  travel  the 
Indian  roads  unprotected  and  live  to  get  through;  that  the 
Thugs  respected  no  quality,  no  vocation,  no  religion,  nobody  : 
that  thev  killed  every  unarmed  man  that  came  in  their  way. 
That  is  wholly  true-  with  one  reservation.  In  all  the  long 
file  of  Thug  confessions  an  English  traveler  is  mentioned  but 
o?ic<       and  this  is  what  the  Thug  says  of  the  circumstance: 

"He  was  on  his  way  from  Mhow  to  Bombay.  We  studiously  avoided  him. 
He  proceeded  next  morning  with  a  number  of  travelers  who  had  sought  his 
protection,  and  they  took  the  road  to  Baroda." 

We  do  not  know  who  he  was;  he  flits  aross  the  page  of 
this  rusty  old  book  and  disappears  in  the  obscurity  beyond; 
but  he  is  an  impressive  figure,  moving  through  that  valley 
of  death  serene  and  unafraid,  clothed  in  the  might  of  the  Eng- 
lish name. 

AYe  have  now  followed  the  big  official  book  through,  and 
we  understand  what  Thuggee  was,  what  a  bloody  terror  it 
was.  what  a  desolating  scourge  it  was.     In   L830  the  English 


|}i;  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

found  this  cancerous  organization  imbedded  in  the  vitals  of  the 
empire,  doing  its  devastating  work  in  secrecy,  and  assisted, 
protected,  sheltered,  and  hidden  by  innumerable  confederates  — 
big  and  little  native  chiefs,  customs  officers,  village  officials,  and 
native  police,  all  ready  to  lie  for  it,  and  the  mass  of  the  people, 
through  fear,  persistently  pretending  to  know  nothing  about 
its  doings;  and  this  condition  of  things  had  existed  for  genera- 
tions, and  was  formidable  with  the  sanctions  of  age  and  old 
custom.  If  ever  there  was  an  unpromising  task,  if  ever  there 
was  a  hopeless  task  in  the  world,  surely  it  was  offered  here 
the  task  of  conquering  Thuggee  But  that  little  handful  of 
English  officials  in  India  set  their  sturdy  and  confident  grip 
upon  it,  and  ripped  it  out,  root  and  branch  !  How  modest  do 
Captain  Vallancey's  words  sound  now,  when  we  read  them 
again,  knowing  what  we  know  : 

'  The  day  that  sees  this  far-spread  evil  completely  eradicated  from   India, 
and  known  only  in  name,  will  greatly  tend  to  immortalize  British  ride  in  the 

East." 

It  would  be  hard  to  word  a  claim  more  modestly  than  that 
for  this  most  noble  work. 


CHAPTER    XLVIII. 

Grief  can  take  care  of  itself;  but  to  get   the  full  value  of  a  joy  you  must  have 
somebody  to  divide  it  with. — Pudd'nhead   Wilson's  S'iw  Calonbir. 

VE  left  Bombay  for  Allahabad  by  a  night  train.  It  is 
the  custom  of  the  country  to  avoid  day  travel  when  it 
can  conveniently  be  done.  But  there  is  one  trouble  : 
while  you  can  seemingly  "secure"  the  two  lower  berths  by 
making  early  application,  there  is  no  ticket  as  witness  of  it. 
and  no  other  producible  evidence  in  case  your  proprietorship 
shall  chance  to  be  challenged.  The  word  "  engaged  "  appears 
on  the  window,  but  it  doesn't  state  who  the  compartment  is 
engaged  for.  If  your  Satan  and  your  Barney  arrive  before 
somebody  else's  servants,  and  spread  the  bedding  on  the  two 
sofas  and  then  stand  guard  till  you  come,  all  will  be  well;  but 
if  they  step  aside  on  an  errand,  they  may  rind  the  beds  pro- 
moted to  the  two  shelves,  and  somebody  else's  demons  standing 
guard  over  their  master's  beds,  which  in  the  meantime  have 
been  spread  upon  your  sofas. 

You  do  not  pay  anything  extra  for  your  sleeping  place  ;  that 
is  where  the  trouble  lies.  If  you  buy  a  fare-ticket  and  fail 
to  use  it,  there  is  room  thus  made  available  for  someone  else  ; 
but  if  the  place  were  secured  to  you  it  would  remain  vacant, 
and  yet  your  ticket  would  secure  you  another  place  when  you 
were  presently  ready  to  travel. 

However,  no  explanation  of   such  a  system  can  make  it 

seem  quite  rational  to  a  person  who  has  been  used  to  a  more 

rational  system.     If  our  people  had  the  arranging  of  it,  we 

should  charge  extra  for  securing  the  place,  and  then  the  road 

would  suffer  no  loss  if  the  purchaser  did  not  occupy  it. 

(447) 


Us  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

The  present  system  encourages  good  manners-  and  also 
discourages  them.  If  a  young  girl  has  a  lower  berth  and  an 
elderly  lady  comes  in,  it  is  usual  for  the  girl  to  offer  her  place 
to  this  late  comer;  and  it  is  usual  for  the  late  comer  to  thank 
her  courteously  and  take  it.  But  the  thing  happens  differently 
sometimes.  When  we  were  ready  to  leave  Bombay  my  daugh- 
ter's satchels  were  holding  possession  of  her  berth  —  a  lower 
one.  At  the  last  moment,  a  middle-aged  American  lady 
swarmed  into  the  compartment,  followed  by  native  porters 
laden  with  her  baggage.  She  was  growling  and  snarling  and 
scolding,  and  trying  to  make  herself  phenomenally  disagreea- 
ble ;  and  succeeding.  Without  a  word,  she  hoisted  the 
satchels  into  the  hanging  shelf,  and  took  possession  of  that 
lower  berth. 

On  one  of  our  trips  Mr.  Smythe  and  1  got  out  at  a  station 
to  walk  up  and  down,  and  when  we  came  back  Smythe's  bed 
was  in  the  hanging  shelf  and  an  English  cavalry  officer  was  in 
bed  on  the  sofa  which  he  had  lately  been  occupying.  It  was 
mean  to  be  glad  about  it,  but  it  is  the  way  we  are  made ; 
I  could  not  have  been  gladder  if  it  had  been  my  enemy  that 
had  suffered  this  misfortune.  We  all  like  to  see  people  in 
trouble,  if  it  doesn't  cost  us  anything.  I  was  so  happy  over 
Air.  Smythe's  chagrin  that  1  couldn't  go  to  sleep  for  thinking 
of  it  and  enjoying  it.  1  knew  he  supposed  the  officer  had 
committed  the  robbery  himself,  whereas  without  a  doubt  the 
officers  servant  had  done  it  without  his  knowledge.  Mr. 
Smythe  kept  this  incident  warm  in  his  heart,  and  longed  for 
a  chance  to  get  even  with  somebody  for  it.  Sometime  after- 
ward the  opportunity  came,  in  Calcutta.  We  were  leaving 
on  a  2L-hour  journey  to  Darjeeling.  Mr.  Barclay,  the  general 
superintendent,  has  made  special  provision  for  our  accommo- 
dation, Mr.  Smvthe  said;  so  there  was  no  need  to  hurry  about 
getting   to   the   train  ;    consequently,    we    were   a   little   late 


INDIAN   SLEEPING   CARS.  44(.l 

When  we  arrived,  the  usual  immense  turmoil  and  confusion  of 
a  great  Indian  station  were  in  full  blast.  It  was  an  immoder- 
ately  long  train,  for  all  the  natives  of  India  were  going  by  it 
somewhither,  and  the  native  officials  were  being  pestered  to 
frenzy  by  belated  and  anxious  people.  They  didn't  know 
where  our  car  was,  and  couldn't  remember  having  received 
any  orders  about  it.  It  was  a  deep  disappointment  ;  more- 
over, it  looked  as  if  our  half  of  our  party  would  be  left  behind 
altogether.  Then  Satan  came  running  and  said  he  had  found 
a  compartment  with  one  shelf  and  one  sofa  unoccupied,  and 
had  made  our  beds  and  had  stowed  our  baggage.  We  rushed 
to  the  place,  and  just  as  the  train  was  ready  to  pull  out  and 
the  porters  were  slamming  the  doors  to,  all  down  the  line,  an 
officer  of  the  Indian  Civil  Service,  a  good  friend  of  ours,  put 
his  head  in  and  said  :  — 

"  I  have  been  hunting  for  you  everv where.  "What  are  you 
doing  here  ?     Don't  you  know  —  " 

The  train  started  before  he  could  finish.  Mr.  Smythe's 
opportunity  was  come.  His  bedding,  on  the  shelf,  at  once 
changed  places  with  the  bedding  —  a  stranger's  —  that  was 
occupying  the  sofa  that  was  opposite  to  mine.  About  ten 
o'clock  we  stopped  somewhere,  and  a  large  Englishman  of 
<  >fficial  military  bearing  stepped  in.  "We  pretended  to  be  asleep. 
The  lamps  were  covered,  but  there  was  light  enough  for  us  to 
note  his  look  of  surprise.  He  stood  there,  grand  and  fine, 
peering  down  at  Smythe,  and  wondering  in  silence  at  the 
situation.     After  a  bit  he  said  :  — 

"Well!"     And  that  was  all. 

But  that  was  enough.  It  was  easv  to  understand.  It 
meant:  ''This  is  extraordinary.  This  is  high-handed.  I 
haven't  had  an  experience  like  this  before." 

He  sat  down  on  his  baggage,  and  for  twenty  minutes  we 

watched  him  through  our  eyelashes,  rocking  and  swaying  there 
29 


450 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


to  the  motion  of  the  train.  Then  we  came  to  a  station,  and  he 
got  up  and  went  out,  muttering:  "I  must  find  a  lower  berth, 
or  wait  over."  His  servant  came  presently  and  carried  away 
his  things. 

Mr.  Smythe's  sore  place  was  healed,  his  hunger  for  revenge 
was  satisfied.  Bat  he  couldn't  sleep,  and  neither  could  I ;  for 
this  was  a  venerable  old  car,  and  nothing  about  it  was  taut. 
The  closet  door  slammed  all  night,  and  defied  everv  fastening 


smythe's  revenge. 

we  could  invent.  "We  got  up  very  much  jaded,  at  dawn,  and 
stepped  out  at  a  way  station ;  and,  while  we  were  taking  a  cup 
of  coffee,  that  Englishman  ranged  up  alongside,  and  somebody 
said  to  him : 

"  So  you  didn't  stop  off,  after  all  \ " 

"No.  The  guard  found  a  place  for  me  that  had  been 
engaged  and  not  occupied.  I  had  a  whole  saloon  car  all  to 
myself  —  oh,  quite  palatial!  I  never  had  such  luck  in  my 
life." 


ACCOMMODATION   TKAINS.  4.»1 

That  was  our  car,  you  see.  We  moved  into  it,  straight  off, 
the  family  and  all.  But  I  asked  the  English  gentleman  to  re- 
main, and  he  did.  A  pleasant  man.  an  infantry  colonel;  and 
doesn't  know.  yet.  that  Smythe  robbed  him  of  his  berth,  but 
thinks  it  was  done  by  Smythe's  servant  without  Smythe's 
knowledge.     He  was  assisted  in  gathering  this  impression. 

The  Indian  trains  are  manned  by  natives  exclusively.  The 
Indian  stations--  except  very  large  and  important  ones  —  are 
manned  entirely  by  natives,  and  so  are  the  posts  and  tele- 
graphs. The  rank  and  tile  of  the  police  are  natives.  All 
these  people  are  pleasant  and  accommodating.  One  day  I  left 
an  express  train  to  lounge  about  in  that  perennially  ravishing 
show,  the  ebb  and  flow  and  whirl  of  gaudy  natives,  that  is 
always  surging  up  and  down  the  spacious  platform  of  a  great 
Indian  station  :  and  I  lost  myself  in  the  ecstasy  of  it,  and 
when  I  turned,  the  train  was  moving  swiftly  away.  I  was 
iroina*  to  sit  down  and  wait  for  another  train,  as  I  would  have 
done  at  home;  I  had  no  thought  of  any  other  course.  But  a 
native  official,  who  had  a  green  Hag  in  his  hand,  saw  me,  and 
said  politely  : 

"  Don't  you  belong  in  the  train,  sir  i  " 

,k  Yes."  I  said. 

He  waved  his  flag,  and  the  train  came  back!  And  he  put 
me  aboard  with  as  much  ceremony  as  if  I  had  been  the  Gen- 
eral Superintendent.  They  are  kindly  people,  the  natives. 
The  face  and  the  bearing  that  indicate  a  surly  spirit  and  a  bad 
heart  seemed  to  me  to  be  so  rare  among  Indians — -so  nearly 
non-existent,  in  fact  —  that  I  sometimes  wondered  if  Thuggee 
wasn't  a  dream,  and  not  a  reality.  The  bad  hearts  are  there, 
but  I  believe  that  they  are  in  a  small,  poor  minority.  One 
thing  is  sure  :  They  are  much  the  most  interesting  people  in 
the  world — and  the  nearest  to  being  incomprehensible.  At 
any  rate,  the  hardest  to  account   for.      Their  character  and 


(.52  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

their  history,  their  customs  and  their  religion,  confront  you 
with  riddles  at  every  turn --riddles  which  are  a  trifle  more 
perplexing  after  they  are  explained  than  they  were  before. 
You  can  get  the  facts  of  a  custom --like  caste,  and  Suttee, 
and  Thuggee,  and  so  on  —  and  with  the  facts  a  theory  which 
tries  to  explain,  but  never  quite  does  it  to  your  satisfaction. 
You  can  never  quite  understand  hoio  so  strange  a  thing  could 
have  been  born,  nor  why. 

For  instance  —  the  Suttee.  This  is  the  explanation  of  it: 
.V  woman  who  throws  away  her  life  when  her  husband  dies  is 
instantly  joined  to  him  again,  and  is  forever  afterward  happy 
with  him  in  heaven  ;  her  family  will  build  a  little  monument 
to  her.  or  a  temple,  and  will  hold  her  in  honor,  and,  indeed, 
worship  her  memory  always;  they  will  themselves  be  held 
in  honor  by  the  public;  the  woman's  self- sacrifice  has 
conferred  a  noble  and  lasting  distinction  upon  her  posterity. 
And,  besides,  see  what  she  has  escaped :  If  she  had  elected 
to  live,  she  would  be  a  disgraced  person  ;  she  could  not  re- 
marrv  ;  her  family  would  despise  her  and  disown  her;  she 
would  be  a  friendless  outcast,  and  miserable  all  her  days. 

Very  well,  you  say.  but  the  explanation  is  not  complete 
vet.  How  did  people  come  to  drift  into  such  a  strange  cus- 
tom \  What  was  the  origin  of  the  idea?  "Well,  nobody 
knows;  it  was  probably  a  revelation  sent  down  by  the 
gods.''  One  more  thing :  Why  was  such  a  cruel  death  chosen 
■ — why  wouldn't  a  gentle  one  have  answered?  "  Nobody 
knows ;   maybe  that  was  a  revelation,  too." 

Xo  —  you  can  never  understand  it.  It  all  seems  impossi- 
ble. You  resolve  to  believe  that  a  widow  never  burnt  herself 
willingly,  but  went  to  her  death  because  she  was  afraid  to  defy 
public  opinion.  But  you  are  not  able  to  keep  that  position. 
History  drives  you  from  it.  Major  Sleeman  has  a  convincing- 
case  in  one  of  his  books.     In  his  government  on  the  Nerbudda 


THE   SUTTEE.  4;,:; 

he  made  a  brave  attempt  on  the  28th  of  March,  L82S,  to  put 
down  Suttee  on  his  own  hook"  and  without  warrant  from  the 
Supreme  Government  of  India,  lie  could  not  foresee  that  the 
Government  would  put  it  down  itself  eight  months  later.  The 
only  backing  he  had  was  a  hold  nature  and  a  compassionate 
heart.  He  issued  Ins  proclamation  abolishing  the  Suttee  in  his 
district.  On  the  morning  of  Tuesday  -note  the  dav  of  the 
week --the  24th  of  the  following  November,  Ummed  Singh 
Tpadhya,  head  of  the  most  respectable  and  most  extensive 
Brahmin  family  in  the  district,  died,  and  presently  came  a  dep- 
utation of  his  sons  and  grandsons  to  beg  that  his  old  widow 
might  be  allowed  to  burn  herself  upon  his  pyre.  Sleeman 
threatened  to  enforce  his  order,  and  punish  severely  any  man 
who  assisted;  and  he  placed  a  police  guard  to  see  that  no  one 
did  so.  From  the  early  morning  the  old  widow  of  sixty-five 
had  been  sitting  on  the  bank  of  the  sacred  river  by  her  dead, 
waiting  through  the  long  hours  for  the  permission  ;  and  at 
last  the  refusal  came  instead.  In  one  little  sentence  Sleeman 
gives  you  a  pathetic  picture  of  this  lonely  old  gray  figure  :  all 
day  and  all  night  "she  remained  sitting  by  the  edge  of  the 
water  without  eating;  or  drinking."  The  next  morning  the 
body  of  the  husband  was  burned  to  ashes  in  a  pit  eight  feet 
square  and  three  or  four  feet  deep,  in  the  view  of  several  thou- 
sand spectators.  Then  the  widow  waded  out  to  a  bare  rock  in 
the  river,  and  everybody  went  away  but  her  sons  and  other 
relations.  All  dav  she  sat  there  on  her  rock  in  the  blazing 
sun  without  food  or  drink,  and  with  no  clothing  but  a  sheet 
over  her  shoulders. 

The  relatives  remained  with  her  and  all  tried  to  persuade 
her  to  desist  from  her  purpose,  for  they  deeply  loved  her.  She 
steadily  refused.  Then  a  part  of  the  family  went  to  Sleeman's 
house,  ten  miles  away,  and  tried  again  to  get  him  to  let  her 
burn  herself.     lie  refused,  hoping  to  save  her  yet. 


454  FOLLOWING    THE    EQUATOR. 

All  thai  day  she  scorched  in  her  sheet  on  the  rock,  and  all 
thai  nighl  she  kept  her  vigil  there  in  the  bitter  cold.  Thurs- 
day morning,  in  the  sight  of  her  relatives,  she  went  through  a 
ceremonial  which  said  more  to  them  than  any  words  could 
have  done;  sin1  put  on  the  dhaja  (a  course  red  turban)  and 
broke  her  bracelets  in  pieces.  By  these  acts  she  became  a  dead 
person  in  the  eye  of  the  law,  and  excluded  from  her  caste  for- 
ever. By  the  iron  rule  of  ancient  custom,  if  she  should  now 
choose  to  live  she  could  never  return  to  her  family.  Sleeman 
was  in  deep  trouble.  If  she  starved  herself  to  death  her  family 
would  be  disgraced  ;  and,  moreover,  starving  would  be  a  more 
lingering  misery  than  the  death  by  Hre.  He  went  back  in  the 
evening  thoroughly  worried.  Tim  old  woman  remained  on  her 
rock,  and  there  in  the  morning  he  found  her  with  her  dhaja 
still  on  her  head.  "  She  talked  very  collectedly,  telling  me 
that  she  had  determined  to  mix  her  ashes  with  those  of  her 
departed  husband,  and  should  patiently  wait  my  permission  to 
do  so,  assured  that  God  would  enable  her  to  sustain  life  till 
that  was  given,  though  she  dared  not  eat  or  drink.  Looking 
at  the  sun,  then  rising  before  her  over  a  long  and  beautiful 
reach  of  the  river,  she  said  calmly,  '  My  soul  has  been  for  five 
days  with  my  husband's  near  that  sun  ;  nothing  but  my  earthly 
frame  is  left ;  and  this,  I  know,  you  will  in  time  suffer  to  be 
mixed  with  his  ashes  in  yonder  pit,  because  it  is  not  in  your 
nature  or  usage  wTantonly  to  prolong  the  miseries  of  a  poor  old 


woman/ ' 


lie  assured  her  that  it  was  his  desire  and  duty  to  save  her, 
and  to  urge  her  to  live,  and  to  keep  her  family  from  the  dis- 
grace of  being-  thought  her  murderers.  But  she  said  she  was 
not  afraid  of  their  being  thought  so ;  that  they  had  all,  like 
good  children,  done  everything  in  their  power  to  induce  her  to 
live,  and  to  abide  with  them ;  "  and  if  I  should  consent  I  know 
they  would  love  and  honor  me,  but  my  duties  to  them  have 


THE    WIDOW'S   DETERMINATION.  455 

now  ended.  I  commit  them  all  to  your  care,  and  I  go  to 
attend  my  husband,  Ummed  Singh  LTpadhya,  with  whose  ashes 
on  the  funeral  pile  mine  have  l>een  already  three  times  mixed." 

She  believed  that  she  and  he  had  been  upon  the  earth  three 
several  times  as  wife  and  husband,  and  that  she  had  burned 
herself  to  death  three  times  upon  his  pyre.  That  is  why  she 
said  that  strange  thing.  Since  she  had  broken  her  bracelets 
and  put  on  the  red  turban  she  regarded  herself  as  a  corpse; 
otherwise  she  would  not  have  allowed  herself  to  do  her  hus- 
band the  irreverence  of  pronouncing  his  name.  "This  was  the 
first  time  in  her  long  life  that  she  had  ever  uttered  her  hus- 
band's name,  for  in  India  no  woman,  high  or  low,  ever  pro- 
nounces the  name  of  her  husband." 

Major  Sleeman  still  tried  to  shake  her  purpose.  He  prom- 
ised to  build  her  a  tine  house  among  the  temples  of  her  ances- 
tors upon  the  bank  of  the  river  and  make  handsome  provision 
for  her  out  of  rent-free  lands  if  she  would  consent  to  live;  and 
if  she  wouldn't  he  would  allow  no  stone  or  brick  to  ever  mark 
the  place  where  she  died.  But  she  only  smiled  and  said,  "My 
pulse  has  long  ceased  to  beat,  my  spirit  has  departed  ;  1  shall 
suffer  nothing  in  the  burning;  audit'  you  wish  proof,  order 
some  tire  and  you  shall  see  this  arm  consumed  without  giving 
me  any  pain." 

Sleeman  was  now  satisfied  that  he  could  not  alter  her 
purpose.  He  sent  for  all  the  chief  members  of  the  family  and 
said  he  would  suffer  her  to  bur.n  herself  if  they  would  enter 
into  a  written  engagement  to  abandon  the  suttee  in  their 
family  thenceforth.  They  agreed  ;  the  papers  were  drawn  out 
and  signed,  and  at  noon,  Saturday,  word  was  sent  to  the  poor 
old  woman.  She  seemed  greatly  pleased.  The  ceremonies  of 
bathing  were  gone  through  with,  and  bv  three  o'clock  she  was 
ready  and  the  fire  was  briskly  burning  in  the  pit.  She  had 
now  gone  without  food  or  drink  during  more  than  four  days 


4;,C,  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

and  a  half.  She  came  ashore  from  her  rock,  first  wetting  her 
sheet  in  the  waters  of  the  sacred  river,  for  without  that  safe- 
guard any  shadow  which  might  fall  upon  her  would  convey 
impurity  to  her;  then  she  walked  to  the  pit,  leaning  upon 
one  of  her  sons  and  a  nephew  -the  distance  was  a  hundred 
and  fifty  vards. 

"I  bad  sentries  placed  all  around,  and  no  other  person  was  allowed  to 
approach  within  five  paces.  She  came  on  with  a  calm  and  cheerful  counte- 
nance, stopped  once,  and  casting  her  eyes  upwards,  said,  '  Why  have  they 
kept  me  five  days  from  thee,  my  husband  '!'  On  coining  to  the  sentries  her 
supporters  stopped  and  remained  standing  ;  she  moved  on,  and  walked  once 
around  the  pit,  paused  a  moment,  and  while  muttering  a  prayer,  threw  some 
flowers  into  the  fire.  She  then  walked  up  deliberately  and  steadily  to  the 
brink,  stepped  into  the  centre  of  the  flame,  sat  down,  and  leaning  back  in  the 
midst  as  if  reposing  upon  a  couch,  was  consumed  without  uttering  a  shriek  or 
betraying  one  sign  of  agony." 

It  is  fine  and  beautiful.  It  compels  one's  reverence  and 
respect  —  no,  has  it  freely,  and  without  compulsion.  We  see 
how  the  custom,  once  started,  could  continue,  for  the  soul  of  it 
is  that  stupendous  power,  Faith  ;  faith  brought  to  the  pitch  of 
effectiveness  by  the  cumulative  force  of  example  and  long  use 
and  custom ;  but  we  cannot  understand  how  the  first  widows 
came  to  take  to  it.     That  is  a  perplexing  detail. 

Sleeman  says  that  it  was  usual  to  play  music  at  the  suttee, 
but  that  the  white  man's  notion  that  this  was  to  drown  the 
screams  of  the  martyr  is  not  correct ;  that  it  had  a  quite  dif- 
ferent purpose.  It  was  believed  that  the  martyr  died  prophe- 
cying ;  that  the  prophecies  sometimes  foretold  disaster,  and  it 
was  considered  a  kindness  to  those  upon  whom  it  was  to  fall  to 
drown  the  voice  and  keep  them  in  ignorance  of  the  misfortune 
that  was  to  come. 


\  .     J?    'V~'-~iO 


A 


r\ 


HE  STOLE   BLANKETS. 


CHAPTEK   XLIX. 

He  had  bad  much  experience  of  physicians,  aud  said  "  the  only  was  to  keep  your 
health  is  to  cat  what  you  don't  want,  drink  what  you  don't  like,  and  do  what  you'd 
druther  not." — PudcTnhead  Wilson's  Ncii<  Calendar. 

IT  was  a  long  journey  -two  nights,  one  day,  and  part  of 
another  day,  from  Bombay  eastward  to  Allahabad  ;  but  it 
was  always  interesting,  and  it  was  not  fatiguing.  At  first 
the  night  travel  promised  to  be  fatiguing,  hut  that  was  on 
account  of  pyjamas.  This  foolish  night-dress  consists  of  jacket 
and  drawers.  Sometimes  they  are  made  of  silk,  sometimes  of 
a  raspy,  scratchy,  sla/y  woolen  material  with  a  sandpaper  sur- 
face. The  drawers  are  loose  elephant-legged  and  elephant- 
waisted  things,  and  instead  of  buttoning  around  the  body 
there  is  a  draw-string  to  produce  the  required  shrinkage.  The 
jacket  is  roomy,  and  one  buttons  it  in  front.  Pyjamas  are  hot 
on  a  hot  night  and  cold  on  a  cold  night  —  defects  which  a 
nightshirt  is  free  from.  T  tried  the  pyjamas  in  order  to  be  in 
the  fashion;  but  I  was  obliged  to  give  them  up,  I  couldn't 
stand  them.  There  was  no  sufficient  change  from  day-gear  to 
night-gear.  I  missed  the  refreshing  and  luxurious  sense,  in- 
duced by  the  night-gown,  of  being  undressed,  emancipated,  set 
free  from  restraints  and  trammels.  In  place  of  that,  I  had  the 
worried,  confined,  oppressed,  suffocated  sense  of  being  abed 
with  my  clothes  on.  All  through  the  warm  half  of  the  night 
the  coarse  surfaces  irritated  my  skin  and  made  it  feel  baked 
and  feverish,  and  the  dreams  which  came  in  the  fitful  flurries 
of  slumber  were  such  as  distress  the  sleep  of  the  damned,  or 
ought  to;  and  all  through  the  cold  other  half  of  the  night  I 
could  get  no  time  for  sleep  because  I  had  to  employ  it  all  in 

(  4.-)i> ) 


460  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

stealing  blankets.  But  blankets  are  of  no  value  at  such  a 
time  ;  the  higher  they  are  piled  the  more  effectively  they 
cork  the  cold  in  and  keep  it  from  getting  out.  The  result  is 
that  your  legs  are  ice,  and  you  know  how  you  will  .feel  by  and 
by  when  you  are  buried.  In  a  sane  interval  I  discarded  the 
pyjamas,  and  led  a  rational  and  comfortable  life  thenceforth. 

Out  in  the  country  in  India,  the  day  begins  early.  One 
sees  a  plain,  perfectly  flat,  dust-colored  and  brick-yardy,  stretch- 
ing limitlessly  away  on  every  side  in  the  dim  gray  light,  striped 
everywhere  witli  hard-beaten  narrow  paths,  the  vast  flatness 
broken  at  wide  intervals  by  bunches  of  spectral  trees  that 
mark  where  villages  are ;  and  along  all  the  paths  are  slender 
women  and  the  black  forms  of  lanky  naked  men  moving  to 
their  work,  the  women  with  brass  water-jars  on  their  heads, 
the  men  carrying  hoes.  The  man  is  not  entirely  naked ; 
always  there  is  a  bit  of  white  rag,  a  loin-cloth  ;  it  amounts  to 
a  bandage,  and  is  a  white  accent  on  his  black  person,  like  the 
silver  band  around  the  middle  of  a  pipe-stem.  Sometimes  he 
also  wears  a  fluffy  and  voluminous  white  turban,  and  this  adds 
a  second  accent.  He  then  answers  properly  to  Miss  Gordon 
Cumming's  flash-light  picture  of  him  —  as  a  person  who  is 
dressed  in  "a  turban  and  a  pocket  handkerchief." 

All  day  long  one  has  this  monotony  of  dust-colored  dead 
levels  and  scattering  bunches  of  trees  and  mud  villages.  You 
soon  realize  that  India  is  not  beautiful ;  still  there  is  an  en- 
chantment about  it  that  is  beguiling,  and  which  does  not  pall. 
You  cannot  tell  just  what  it  is  that  makes  the  spell,  perhaps, 
but  you  feel  it  and  confess  it,  nevertheless.  Of  course,  at  bot- 
tom, you  know  in  a  vague  way  that  it  is  history;  it  is  that 
that  affects  you,  a  haunting  sense  of  the  myriads  of  human 
lives  that  have  blossomed,  and  withered,  and  perished  here, 
repeating  and  repeating  and  repeating,  century  after  century, 
and  age  after  age,  the  barren  and  meaningless  process:  it  is 


CIRCUMSTANTIAL   EVIDENCE.  4<H 

this  sense  that  gives  to  this  forlorn,  uncomely  land  power  to 
speak  to  the  spirit  and  make  friends  with  it  ;  to  speak  to  it 
with  a  voice  bitter  with  satire,  but  eloquent  with  melancholy. 
The  deserts  of  Australia  and  the  ice-barrens  of  Greenland  have 
no  speech,  for  they  have  no  venerable  history  ;  with  nothing 
to  tell  of  man  and  his  vanities,  his  fleeting  glories  and  his 
miseries,  they  have  nothing  wherewith  to  spiritualize  their 
uirliness  and  veil  it  with  a  charm. 

There  is  nothing  pretty  about  an  Indian  village— a  mud 
one  —  and  I  do  not  remember  that  we  saw  any  but  mud  ones 
on  that  long  flight  to  Allahabad.  It  is  a  little  bunch  of  dirt- 
colored  mud  hovels  jammed  together  within  a  mud  wall.  As 
a  rule,  the  rains  had  beaten  down  parts  of  some  of  the  houses, 
and  this  gave  the  village  the  aspect  of  a  mouldering  and  hoary 
ruin.  I  believe  the  cattle  and  the  vermin  live  inside  the  wall ; 
for  I  saw  cattle  coming  out  and  cattle  going  in  ;  and  whenever 
I  saw  a  villager,  he  was  scratching.  This  last  is  only  circum- 
stantial  evidence,  but  I  think  it  has  value.  The  village  has  a 
battered  little  temple  or  two.  big  enough  to  hold  an  idol,  and 
with  custom  enough  to  fat-up  a  priest  and  keep  him  comfort- 
able. Where  there  are  Mohammedans  there  are  generally  a 
few  sorrv  tombs  outside  the  village  that  have  a  decaved  and 
neglected  look.  The  villages  interested  me  because  of  things 
which  Major  Sleeman  says  about  them  in  his  books  —  particu- 
larly what  he  says  about  the  division  of  labor  in  them.  He 
says  that  the  whole  face  of  India  is  parceled  out  into  estates  of 
villages ;  that  nine-tenths  of  the  vast  population  of  the  land 
consist  of  cultivators  of  the  soil;  that  it  is  these  cultivators 
who  inhabit  the  villages  ;  that  there  are  certain  "  established" 
village  servants  —  mechanics  and  others  who  are  apparently 
paid  a  wage  by  the  village  at  large,  and  whose  callings  remain 
in  certain  families  and  are  handed  down  from  father  to  son, 
like  an  estate.     He  gives  a  list  of  these  established  servants: 


|C,L'  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

Priest,  blacksmith,  carpenter,  accountant,  washerman,  basket- 
maker,  potter,  watchman,  barber,  shoemaker,  brazier,  confec- 
tioner, weaver,  dyer,  etc.  In  his  day  witches  abounded,  and  it 
was  not  thought  good  business  wisdom  for  a  man  to  marry 
his  daughter  into  a  family  that  hadn't  a  witch  in  it,  for  she 
would  need  a  witch  on  the  premises  to  protect  her  children 
from  the  evil  spells  which  would  certainly  be  cast  upon  them 
by  the  witches  connected  with  the  neighboring  families. 

The  office  of  midwife  was  hereditary  in  the  family  of  the 
basket-maker.  It  belonged  to  his  wife.  She  might  not  be 
competent,  but  the  office  was  hers,  anyway.  Her  pay  was  not 
high. -- 25  cents  for  a  boy,  and  half  as  much  for  a  girl.  The 
girl  was  not  desired,  because  she  would  he  a  disastrous  expense 
by  and  by.  As  soon  as  she  should  be  old  enough  to  begin  to 
wear  clothes  for  propriety's  sake,  it  would  he  a  disgrace  to  the 
family  if  she  were  not  married;  and  to  marry  her  meant  finan- 
cial ruin  ;  for  by  custom  the  father  must  spend  upon  feasting 
and  wedding-display  everything  he  had  and  all  he  could  borrow 
-in  fact,  reduce  himself  to  a  condition  of  poverty  which  he 
might  never  more  recover  from. 

It  was  the  dread  of  this  prospective  ruin  which  made  the 
killing  of  girl-babies  so  prevalent  in  India  in  the  old  days 
before  England  laid  the  iron  hand  of  her  prohibitions  upon  the 
piteous  slaughter.  One  may  judge  of  how  prevalent  the  cus- 
tom was.  by  one  of  Sleeman's  casual  electrical  remarks,  when 
he  speaks  of  children  at  play  in  villages  --where  girl-voices 
wt  r>  ru  >',  /■  In  ard ! 

The  wedding-display  folly  is  still  in  full  force  in  India,  and 
by  consequence  the  destruction  of  girl-babies  is  still  furtively 
practiced;  but  not  largely,  because  of  the  vigilance  of  the 
government  and  the  sternness  of  the  penalties  it  levies. 

In  some  parts  of  India  the  village  keeps  in  its  pay  three 
other  servants :   an  astrologer  to  tell  the  villager  when  he  may 


ESTABLISHED    VILLAGE   SERVANTS. 


463 


plant  his  crop,  or  make  ;i  journey,  or  marry  a  wife,  or  strangle 
a  child,  or  borrow  a  dog.  or  climb  a  tree,  or  catch  a  rat,  or 
swindle  a  neighbor,  without  offending  the  alert  and  solicitous 
heavens ;  and  what  his  dream  means,  if  he  has  had  one  and 
was  not  bright  enough  to  interpret  it  himself  by  the  details  of 
his  dinner:  the  two  other  established  servants  were  the  tiger- 
persuader  and  the  hailstorm  discourager.     The  one  kept  away 
the  tigers  if  he  could,  and  collected  the  wages  anyway,  and 
the  other  kept  off  the  hailstorms,  or  explained  why  he   failed. 
He  charged  the  same  for  explaining  a  failure  that  he  did  for 
scoring  a  success.     A  man  is  an  idiot  whocan't  earn  a  living  in 
India. 

Major  Sleeman  reveals  the  fact  that  the  trade  union  and 
the  boycott   arc  antiquities  in    India.      India  seems  to  have 
originated    everything.      The  -     ----- 

"sweeper"  belongs  to  the  bot- 
tom caste;  he  is  the  lowest  of 
the  low --all  other  castes 
despise  him  and  scorn  his  office. 
But  that  does  not  trouble  him. 
His  caste  is  a  caste,  and  that 
is  sufficient  for  him.  and  so  he 
is  proud  of  it,  not  ashamed. 
Sleeman  savs : 


A   STREET   SPRINKLER. 


*'  It  is  perhaps  not  known  to  many 
<>f  my  countrymen,  even  in  India,  that 
in  every  town  and  city  in  the  country 
the  right  of  sweeping  the  houses  and 
streets  is  a  monopoly,  and  is  supported 
entirely  by  the  pride  of  castes  among 
the  scavengers,  who  are  all  of  the  low- 
est class.  The  right  of  sweeping  within  a  certain  range  is  recognized  by  the 
caste  to  belong  to  a  certain  member  ;  and  if  any  other  member  presumes  to 
sweep  within  that  range,  he  is  excommunicated  —  no  other  member  will 
smoke  out  of  his  pipe  or  drink  out  of  his  jug  ;  and  he  can  get  restored  to 
caste  only  by  a  feast  to  the  whole  body  of  sweepers.  If  any  housekeeper 
within  a  particular  circle  happens  to  offend  the  sweeper  of  that  range,  none  of 


4<i4  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

his  filth  will  be  removed  till  he  pacifies  him,  because  no  other  sweeper  will 
dare  to  touch  it ;  and  the  people  of  a  town  are  often  more  tyrannized  over  by 
these  people  than  by  any  other." 

A  footnote  by  Major  Sleeman's  editor,  Mr.  Vincent  Arthur 

Smith,  says  that  in  our  day  this  tyranny  of  the  sweepers'  guild 

is  one  of  the  many  difficulties  which  bar  the  progress  of  Indian 

sanitary  reform.     Think  of  this: 

"The  sweepers  cannot  be  readily  coerced,  because  no  Hindoo  or  Mussul- 
man would  do  their  work  to  save  his  life,  nor  will  he  pollute  himself  by 
beating  the  refractory  scavenger." 

They  certainly  do  seem  to  have  the  whip-hand  ;  it  would 
be  difficult  to  imagine  a  more  impregnable  position.  u  The 
vested  rights  described  in  the  text  are  so  fully  recognized  in 
practice  that  they  a/refrequt  ntly  th<  subject  <>f  x<lL  or  mortgaged 
Just  like  a  milk-route  ;  or  like  a  London  crossing-sweepership. 
It  is  said  that  the  London  crossing-sweeper's  right  to  his  cross- 
ing is  recognized  by  the  rest  of  the  guild  ;  that  they  protect 
him  in  its  possession;  that  certain  choice  cross- 
ings are   valuable  property,  and  are  saleable  at 


high  figures.  I  have  noticed  that  the  man  who 
sweeps  in  front  of  the  Army  and  Navy  Stores 
has  a  wealthy  South  African  aristocratic  style 
about  him  ;  and  when  he  is  off  his  guard,  he  has 
exactly  that  look  on  his  face  which  you  alwavs 

A   SOUTH    AFRICAN  •>  " 

style.  see   jn  the  face   of  a   man    who    has  is  saving 

up  his  daughter  to  marry  her  to  a  duke. 

It  appears  from  Sleeman  that  in  India  the  occupation  of 
elephant-driver  is  confined  to  Mohammedans.  I  wonder  why 
that  is.  The  water-carrier  (bheestie)  is  a  Mohammedan,  but 
it  is  said  that  the  reason  of  that  is,  that  the  Hindoo's  religion 
does  not  allow  him  to  touch  the  skin  of  dead  kine,  and  that 
is  what  the  water-sack  is  made  of;  it  would  defile  him. 
And  it  doesn't  allow  him  to  eat  meat;  the  animal  that  fur- 
nished the  meat  was  murdered,  and  to  take  any  creature's  life 
is  a  sin.     It  is  a  good  and  gentle  religion,  but  inconvenient. 


PECULIARITY   OF   INDIAN   RIVERS.  465 

A  great  Indian  river,  at  low  water,  suggests  the  familiar 
anatomical  picture  of  a  skinned  human  body,  the  intricate 
mesh  of  interwoven  muscles  and  tendons  to  stand  for  water- 
channels,  and  the  archipelagoes  of  fat  and  flesh  inclosed  by 
them  to  stand  for  the  sandbars.  Somewhere  on  this  journey 
we  passed  such  a  river,  and  on  a  later  journey  we  saw  in  the 
Sutlej  the  duplicate  of  that  river.  Curious  rivers  they  are; 
low  shores  a  dizzy  distance  apart,  with  nothing  between  but  an 
enormous  acreage  of  sand-flats  with  sluggish  little  veins  of 
water  dribbling  around  amongst  them;  Saharas  of  sand,  small- 
pox-pitted with  footprints  punctured  in  belts  as  straight  as  the 
equator  clear  from  the  one  shore  to  the  other  (barring  the 
channel-interruptions)  —  a  dry-shod  ferry,  you  see.  Long  rail- 
way bridges  are  require* I  for  this  sort  of  rivers,  and  India  has 
them.  You  approach  Allahabad  by  a  very  long  one.  It  was 
now  carrying  us  across  the  bed  of  the  Jumna,  a  bed  which  did 
not  seem  to  have  been  slept  in  for  one  while  or  more.  It 
wasn't  all  river-bed  —  most  of  it  was  overflow  g-round. 

Allahabad  means  "City  of  God."  I  get  this  from  the 
books.  From  a  printed  curiosity  — a  letter  written  by  one  of 
those  brave  and  confident  Hindoo  strugglers  with  the  English 
tongue,  called  a  "babu" — I  got  a  more  compressed  transla- 
tion :  "  CTodville."  It  is  perfectly  correct,  but  that  is  the  most 
that  can  be  said  for  it. 

We  arrived  in  the  forenoon,  and  short-handed ;  for  Satan 
got  left  behind  somewhere  that  morning,  and  did  not  overtake 
us  until  after  nightfall.  It  seemed  very  peaceful  without  him. 
The  world  seemed  asleep  and  dreaming. 

I  did  not  see  the  native  town,  I  think.     I  do  not  remember 

why  ;    for  an  incident  connects  it  with  the  Great  Mutinv,  and 

that  is  enough  to  make  any  place  interesting.      But  I  saw  the 

English  part  of  the  city.     It  is  a  town  of  wide  avenues  and 

30 


4«i<;  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

noble  distances,  and  is  comely  and  alluring,  and  full  of  sug- 
gestions  of  comfort  and  leisure,  and  of  the  serenity  which  a 
good  conscience  buttressed  by  a  sufficient  bank  account  gives. 
The  bungalows  (dwellings)  stand  well  back  in  the  seclusion 
and  privacy  of  large  enclosed  compounds  (private  grounds,  as 
we  should  say)  and  in  the  shade  and  shelter  of  trees.  Even 
the  photographer  and  the  prosperous  merchant  ply  their  indus- 
tries in  the  elegant  reserve  of  big  compounds,  and  the  citizens 
drive  in  there  upon  their  business  occasions.  And  not  in  cabs  - 
no  ;  in  the  Indian  cities  cabs  are  for  the  drifting  stranger ;  all  the 
white  citizens  have  private  carriages ;  and  each  carriage  has  a 
flock  of  white-turbaned  black  footmen  and  drivers  all  over  it. 
The  vicinity  of  a  lecture-hall  looks  like  a  snowstorm,  and 
makes  the  lecturer  feel  like  an  opera.  India  has  many  names, 
and  they  are  correctly  descriptive.  It  is  the  Land  of  Contra- 
dictions, the  Land  of  Subtlety  and  Superstition,  the  Land  of 
Wealth  and  Poverty,  the  Land  of  Splendor  and  Desolation,  the 
Land  of  Plague  and  Famine,  the  Land  of  the  Thug  and  the 
Poisoner,  and  of  the  Meek  and  the  Patient,  the  Land  of  the 
Suttee,  the  Land  of  the  Unreinstatable  Widow,  the  Land  where 
All  Life  is  Holy,  the  Land  of  Cremation,  the  Land  where  the 
Vulture  is  a  Grave  and  a  Monument,  the  Land  of  the  Mul- 
titudinous Gods;  and  if  signs  go  for  anything,  it  is  the  Land 
of  the  Private  Carriage. 

In  Bombay  the  forewoman  of  a  millinery  shop  came  to  the 
hotel  in  her  private  carriage  to  take  the  measure  for  a  gown- 
not  for  me,  but  for  another.  She  had  come  out  to  India  to 
make  a  temporary  stay,  but  was  extending  it  indefinitely  ;  in- 
deed, she  was  purposing  to  end  her  days  there.  In  London,  she 
said,  her  work  had  been  hard,  her  hours  long ;  for  economy's 
sake  she  had  had  to  live  in  shabby  rooms  and  far  away  from 
the  shop,  watch  the  pennies,  deny  herself  many  of  the  common 
comforts  of  life,  restrict  herself  in  effect  to  its  bare  necessities, 


HINDOO   PATIENCE.  4iJ7 

eschew  cabs,  travel  third-class  by  underground  train  to  and 
from  her  work,  swallowing  coal-smoke  and  cinders  all  the  way, 
and  sometimes  troubled  with  the  society  of  men  and  women 
who  were  less  desirable  than  the  smoke  and  the  cinders.  But 
in  Bombay,  on  almost  any  kind  of  wages,  she  could  live  in 
comfort,  and  keep  her  carriage,  and  have  six  servants  in  place 
of  the  worn an-of-all- work  she  had  had  in  her  English  home. 
Later,  in  Calcutta,  I  found  that  the  Standard  Oil  clerks  had 
small  one-horse  vehicles,  and  did  no  walking;  and  I  was  told 
that  the  clerks  of  the  other  huge  concerns  there  had  the  like 
equipment.     But  to  return  to  Allahabad. 

I  was  up  at  dawn,  the  next  morning.  In  India  the  tourist's 
servant  does  not  sleep  in  a  room  in  the  hotel,  but  rolls  himself 
up  head  and  ears  in  his  blanket  and  stretches  himself  on  the 
veranda,  across  the  front  of  his  master's  door,  and  spends  the 
night  there.  I  don't  believe  anybody's  servant  occupies  a 
room.  Apparently,  the  bungalow  servants  sleep  on  the 
veranda  ;  it  is  roomy,  and  goes  all  around  the  house.  I  speak 
of  men-servants ;  I  saw  none  of  the  other  sex.  I  think  there 
are  none,  except  child-nurses.  I  was  up  at  dawn,  and  walked 
around  the  veranda,  past  the  rows  of  sleepers.  In  front  of  one 
door  a  Hindoo  servant  was  squatting,  waiting  for  his  master  to 
call  him.  He  had  polished  the  yellow  shoes  and  placed  them 
by  the  door,  and  now  he  had  nothing  to  do  but  wait.  It  was 
freezing  cold,  but  there  he  was,  as  motionless  as  a  sculptured 
image,  and  as  patient.  It  troubled  me.  I  wanted  to  say  to 
him.  Don't  crouch  there  like  that  and  freeze ;  nobody  requires 
it  of  you;  stir  around  and  get  warm."  But  I  hadn't  the 
words.  I  thought  of  saying  jeldyjow,  but  I  couldn't  remem- 
ber what  it  meant,  so  I  didn't  say  it.  I  knew  another  phrase, 
but  it  wouldn't  come  to  my  mind.  I  moved  on,  purposing  to 
dismiss  him  from  my  thoughts,  but  his  bare  legs  and  bare  feet 
kept  him  there.      They  kept  drawing  me  back  from  the  sunny 


468 


FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 


side  to  a  point  whence  I  could  see  him.  At  the  end  of  an 
hour  lie  had  not  changed  his  attitude  in  the  least  degree.  It 
was  a  curious  and  impressive  exhibition  of  meekness  and 
patience,  or  fortitude  or  indifference,  I  did  not  know  which. 
But  it  worried  me,  and  it  was  spoiling  my  morning.  In  fact, 
it  spoiled  two  hours  of  it  quite  thoroughly.  I  quitted  this 
vicinity,  then,  and  left  him  to  punish  himself  as  much  as  he 
might  want  to.  But  up  to  that  time  the  man  had  not  changed 
his  attitude  a  hair.     He  will  always  remain  with  me,  I  suppose; 


"  IT    WORRIED    ME 


his  figure  never  grows  vague  in  my  memory.  Whenever  I 
read  of  Indian  resignation,  Indian  patience  under  wrongs, 
hardships,  and  misfortunes,  he  comes  before  me.  He  becomes 
a  personification,  and  stands  for  India  in  trouble.  And  for 
untold  ages  India  in  trouble  has  been  pursued  with  the  very 
remark  which  I  was  going  to  utter  but  didn't,  because  its 
meaning  had  slipped  me:  Jeldy jow !  ("'Come,  shove  along!") 
Why,  it  was  the  very  thing. 

In  the  early  brightness  we  made  a  long  drive  out  to  the 


A   CROWD   OF   PILGRIMS.  409 

Fort.  Part  of  the  way  was  beautiful.  It  Led  under  stately 
trees  and  through  groups  of  native  houses  and  by  the  usual 
village  well,  where  the  picturesque  gangs  are  always  flocking 
to  and  fro  and  laughing  and  chattering;  and  this  time  brawny 
men  were  deluging  their  bronze  bodies  with  the  limpid  water, 
and  making  a  refreshing  and  enticing  show  of  it ;  enticing,  for 
the  sun  was  already  transacting  business,  firing  India  up  for 
the  day.  There  was  plenty  of  this  early  bathing  going  on,  for 
it  was  getting  toward  breakfast  time,  and  with  an  unpurihed 
body  the  Hindoo  must  not  eat. 

Then  we  struck  into  the  hot  plain,  and  found  the  roads 
crowded  with  pilgrims  of  both  sexes,  for  one  of  the  great 
religious  fairs  of  India  was  being  held,  just  beyond  the  Fort, 
at  the  junction  of  the  sacred  rivers,  the  Ganges  and  the  Jumna. 
Three  sacred  rivers,  I  should  have  said,  for  there  is  a  subter- 
ranean one.  Nobodv  has  seen  it,  but  that  doesn't  signify. 
The  fact  that  it  is  there  is  enough.  These  pilgrims  had  come 
from  all  over  India ;  some  of  them  had  been  months  on  the 
way,  plodding  patiently  along  in  the  heat  and  dust,  worn, 
poor,  hungry,  but  supported  and  sustained  by  an  unwavering 
faith  and  belief;  they  were  supremely  happy  and  content, 
now  ;  their  full  and  sufficient  reward  was  at  hand  ;  they  were 
going  to  be  cleansed  from  every  vestige  of  sin  and  corruption 
by  these  holy  waters  which  make  utterly  pure  whatsoever  thing 
they  touch,  even  the  dead  and  rotten.  It  is  wonderful,  the 
power  of  a  faith  like  that,  that  can  make  multitudes  upon 
multitudes  of  the  old  and  weak  and  the  young  and  frail  enter 
without  hesitation  or  complaint  upon  such  incredible  journeys 
and  endure  the  resultant  miseries  without  repining.  It  is  done 
in  love,  or  it  is  done  in  fear ;  I  do  not  know  which  it  is.  Xo 
matter  what  the  impulse  is,  the  act  born  of  it  is  beyond  imag- 
ination marvelous  to  our  kind  of  people,  the  cold  whites. 
There  are  choice  great  natures  among  us  that  could   exhibit 


47(1  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

the  equivalent  of  this  prodigious  self-sacrifice,  but  the  rest  of 
us  know  that  we  should  not  be  equal  to  anything  approaching 
it.  Still,  we  all  talk  self-sacrifice,  and  this  makes  me  hope 
that  we  are  large  enough  to  honor  it  in  the  Hindoo. 

Two  millions  of  natives  arrive  at  this  fair  every  year. 
How  many  start,  and  die  on  the  road,  from  age  and  fatigue 
and  disease  and  scanty  nourishment,  and  how  many  die  on  the 
return,  from  the  same  causes,  no  one  knows  ;  but  the  tale  is 
great,  one  may  say  enormous.  Every  twelfth  year  is  held  to 
be  a  year  of  peculiar  grace;  a  greatly  augmented  volume  of 
pilgrims  results  then.  The  twelfth  year  has  held  this  distinc- 
tion since  the  remotest  times,  it  is  said.  It  is  said  also  that 
there  is  to  be  but  one  more  twelfth  vear  —  for  the  (ranges. 
After  that,  that  holiest  of  all  sacred  rivers  will  cease  to  be 
holy,  and  will  be  abandoned  by  the  pilgrim  for  many  centuries; 
how  many,  the  wise  men  have  not  stated.  At  the  end  of  that 
interval  it  will  become  holy  again.  Meantime,  the  data  will 
be  arranged  by  those  people  who  have  charge  of  all  such  mat- 
ters, the  great  chief  Brahmins.  It  will  be  like  shutting  down 
a  mint.  At  a  first  glance  it  looks  most  unbrahminically  un- 
commercial, but  I  am  not  disturbed,  being  soothed  and  tran- 
quilized  by  their  reputation.  ,k  Brer  fox  he  lay  low,"  as  Uncle 
Remus  says;  and  at  the  judicious  time  he  will  spring  some- 
thing on  the  Indian  public  which  will  show  that  he  was  not 
financially  asleep  when  he  took  the  Ganges  out  of  the  market. 

(Treat  numbers  of  the  natives  along  the  roads  were  bringing 
away  holy  water  from  the  rivers.  Thev  would  carry  it  far 
and  wide  in  India  and  sell  it.  Tavernier,  the  French  traveler 
(17th  century),  notes  that  Ganges  water  is  often  given  at  wed. 
dings,  u  each  guest  receiving  a  cup  or  two.  according  to  the 
liberality  of  the  host ;  sometimes  2,0<>0  or  3,000  rupees'  worth 
of  it  is  consumed  at  a  wedding." 

The  Fort  is  a  huge  old   structure,  and    has  had  a  large 


-) 
J 


73 

o 


VIEW    FROM   THE    FORT.  47;; 

experience  in  religions.  In  its  great  court  stands  a  monolith 
which  was  placed  there  more  than  2,000  years  ago  to  preach 
Budhism  by  its  pious  inscription  ;  the  Fort  was  built  three 
centuries  ago  by  a  Mohammedan  Emperor  —  a  resanctification 
of  the  place  in  the  interest  of  that  religion.  There  is  a  Hindoo 
temple,  too,  with  subterranean  ramifications  stocked  with 
shrines  and  idols ;  and  now  the  Fort  belongs  to  the  English,  it 
contains  a  Christian  Church.     Insured  in  all  the  companies. 

From  the  lofty  ramparts  one  has  a  tine  view  of  the  sacred 
rivers.  They  join  at  that  point  —  the  pale  blue  Jumna,  ap- 
parently clean  and  clear,  and  the  muddy  Ganges,  dull  yellow 
and  not  clean.  On  a  long  curved  spit  between  the  rivers,  towns 
of  tents  were  visible,  with  a  multitude  of  fluttering  pennons,  and 
a  mighty  swarm  of  pilgrims.  It  was  a  troublesome  place  to 
get  down  to,  and  not  a  quiet  place  when  you  arrived ;  but  it 
was  interesting.  There  was  a  world  of  activity  and  turmoil  and 
noise,  partly  religious,  partly  commercial  ;  for  the  Mohamme- 
dans were  there  to  curse  and  sell,  and  the  Hindoos  to  buy  and 
pray.  It  is  a  fair  as  well  as  a  religious  festival.  Crowds  were 
bathing,  praying,  and  drinking  the  purifying  waters,  and  many 
sick  pilgrims  had  come  long  journeys  in  palanquins  to  be 
healed  of  their  maladies  by  a  bath  ;  or  if  that  might  not  be, 
then  to  die  on  the  blessed  banks  and  so  make  sure  of  heaven. 
There  were  fakeers  in  plenty,  with  their  bodies  dusted  over 
with  ashes  and  their  lono-  hair  caked  together  with  cow-dung: 
for  the  cow  is  holy  and  so  is  the  rest  of  it ;  so  holy  that 
the  good  Hindoo  peasant  frescoes  the  walls  of  his  hut  with  this 
refuse,  and  also  constructs  ornamental  figures  out  of  it  for  the 
gracing  of  his  dirt  floor.  There  were  seated  families,  fearfully 
and  wonderfully  painted,  who  by  attitude  and  grouping  repre- 
sented the  families  of  certain  great  gods.  There  was  a  holv 
man  who  sat  naked  by  the  day  and  by  the  week  on  a  cluster  of 
iron  spikes,  and  did  not   seem  to  mind  it :  and   another  holy 


474 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


man,  who  stood  all  day  holding  his  withered  arms  motionless 
aloft,  and  was  said  to  have  been  doing  it  for  years.  All  of 
these  performers  have  a  cloth  on  the  ground  beside  them  for 
the  reception  of  contributions,  and  even  the  poorest  of  the 
people  give  a  trifle  and  hope  that  the  sacrifice  will  be  blessed 
to  him.  At  last  came  a  procession  of  naked  holy  people 
marching  by  and  chanting,  and  I  wrenched  myself  away. 


CHAPTER   L. 

The  ruau  who  is  ostentatious  of  hi.s  modesty  is  twin  to  the  statue  that  wears  a 
riir-leaf. — Pudd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  journey  to  Benares  was  all  in  daylight,  and  occu- 
pied but  a  few  hours.  It  was  admirably  dusty.  The 
dust  settled  upon  you  in  a  thick  ashy  layer  and  turned 
\rou  into  a  fakeer,  with  nothing  lacking  to  the  role  but  the 
cow  manure  and  the  sense  of  holiness.  There  was  a,  change  of 
c;trs  about  mid-afternoon  at  Moghul-serai--if  that  was  the 
name  —  and  a  wait  of  two  hours  there  for  the  Benares  train. 
We  could  have  found  a  carriage  and  driven  to  the  sacred  city, 
but  we  should  have  lost  the  wait.  In  other  countries  a  long- 
wait  at  a  station  is  a  dull  thing  and  tedious,  but  one  has  no 
riffht  to  have  that  feeling  in  India.  You  have  the  monster 
crowd  of  bejeweled  natives,  the  stir,  the  bustle,  the  confusion, 
the  shifting  splendors  of  the  costumes  —  dear  me,  the  delight 
of  it,  the  charm  of  it  are  beyond  speech.  The  two-hour  wait 
Avas  over  too  soon.  Among  other  satisfying  things  to  look  at 
was  a  minor  native  prince  from  the  backwoods  somewhere, 
witli  his  guard  of  honor,  a  ragged  but  wonderfully  gaudy 
gang  of  fifty  dark  barbarians  armed  with  rusty  flint-lock 
muskets.  The  general  show  came  so  near  to  exhausting 
variety  that  one  would  have  said  that  no  addition  to  it  could 
be  conspicuous,  but  when  this  Falstaff  and  his  motleys  marched 
through  it  one  saw  that  that  seeming  impossibility  had  hap- 
pened. 

AVe  got  away  by  ami  by,  and  soon  reached  the  outer  edge 
of  Benares;  then  there  was  another  wait  ;  but,  as  usual,  with 

(475) 


47(5  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

something  to  look  at.  This  was  a  cluster  of  little  canvas- 
boxes  —  palanquins.  A  canvas-box  is  not  much  of  a  sight - 
when  empty  ;  but  when  there  is  a  lady  in  it,  it  is  an  object  of 
interest.  These  boxes  were  grouped  apart,  in  the  full  blaze  of 
the  terrible  sun  during  the  three-quarters  of  an  hour  that  we 
tarried  there.  They  contained  zenana  ladies.  The  had  to  sit 
up ;  there  was  not  room  enough  to  stretch  out.  They  prob- 
ably did  not  mind  it.  They  are  used  to  the  close  captivity  of 
their  dwellings  all  their  lives ;  when  they  go  a  journey  they 
are  carried  to  the  train  in  these  boxes ;  in  the  train  they  have 
to  be  secluded  from  inspection.  Many  people  pity  them,  and 
I  always  did  it  myself  and  never  charged  anything ;  but  it  is 
doubtful  if  this  compassion  is  valued.  While  we  were  in  India 
some  good-hearted  Europeans  in  one  of  the  cities  proposed  to 
restrict  a  large  park  to  the  use  of  zenana  ladies,  so  that  they 
could  go  there  and  in  assured  privacy  go  about  unveiled  and 
enjoy  the  sunshine  and  air  as  they  had  never  enjoyed  them 
before.  The  good  intentions  back  of  the  proposition  were 
recognized,  and  sincere  thanks  returned  for  it.  but  the  propo- 
sition itself  met  with  a  prompt  declination  at  the  hands  of 
those  who  were  authorized  to  speak  for  the  zenana  ladies. 
Apparently,  the  idea  was  shocking  to  the  ladies  -indeed,  it 
was  quite  manifestly  shocking.  Was  that  proposition  the 
equivalent  of  inviting  European  ladies  to  assemble  scantily 
and  scandalously  clothed  in  the  seclusion  of  a  private  park? 
It  seemed  to  be  about  that. 

Without  doubt  modesty  is  nothing  less  than  a  holy  feeling; 
and  without  doubt  the  person  whose  rule  of  modesty  has  been 
trangressed  feels  the  same  sort  of  wound  that  he  would  feel  if 
something  made  holy  to  him  by  his  religion  had  suffered  a, 
desecration.  I  say  "  rule  of  modesty  "  because  there  are  about 
a  million  rules  in  the  world,  and  this  makes  a  million  standards 
to  be  looked  out  for.     Major  Sleeman  mentions  the  case  of  some 


THE    EXTREMES   OF   FASHION.  477 

hit'h-caste  veiled  ladies  who  were  profoundly  scandalized  when 
some  English  young  ladies  passed  by  with  faces  hare  to  the 
world;  so  scandalized  that  they  spoke  out  with  strong  indigna- 
tion and  wondered  that  people  could  be  so  shameless  as  to 
expose  their  persons  like  that.  And  yet  "the  legs  of  the 
objectors  were  naked  to  mid-thigh."  Both  parties  were  clean- 
minded  and  irreproachably  modest,  while  abiding  by  their 
separate  rules,  but  they  couldn't  have  traded  rules  for  a  change 
without  suffering  considerable  discomfort.  All  human  rules 
;ne  more  or  less  idiotic,  I  suppose.  It  is  best  so,  no  doubt. 
The  wav  it  is  now,  the  asylums  can  hold  the  sane  people,  but 
if  we  tried  to  shut  up  the  insane  we  should  run  out  of  building 
materials. 

You  have  a  long  drive  through  the  outskirts  of  Benares 
before  you  get  to  the  hotel.  And  all  the  aspects  are  melan- 
choly. It  is  a  vision  of  dusty  sterility,  decaying  temples, 
crumbling  tombs,  broken  mud  walls,  shabby  huts.  The  whole 
region  seems  to  ache  with  age  and  penury.  It  must  take  ten 
thousand  years  of  want  to  produce  such  an  aspect.  We  were 
still  outside  of  the  great  native  city  when  we  reached  the  hotel. 
It  was  a  quiet  and  homelike  house,  inviting,  and  manifestly 
comfortable.  But  we  liked  its  annex  better,  and  went  thither. 
It  was  a  mile  away,  perhaps,  and  stood  in  the  midst  of  a  large 
compound,  and  was  built  bungalow  fashion,  everything  on  the 
ground  floor,  and  a  veranda  all  around.  They  have  doors  in 
India,  but  1  don't  know  why.  They  don't  fasten,  and  they 
stand  open,  as  a  rule,  with  a  curtain  hanging  in  the  doorspace 
to  keep  out  the  glare  of  the  sun.  Still,  there  is  plenty  of  pri- 
vacy, for  no  white  person  will  come  in  without  notice,  of  course. 
The  native  men  servants  will,  but  they  don't  seem  to  count. 
They  glide  in,  barefoot  and  noiseless,  and  are  in  the  midst  be- 
fore one  knows  it.  At  first  this  is  a  shock,  and  sometimes  it 
is  an  embarrassment  ;  but  one  has  to  get  used  to  it,  and  does. 


478  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

There1  was  one  tree  in  the  compound,  and  a  monkey  lived 
in  it.  At  first  1  was  strongly  interested  in  the  tree,  for  I  was 
told  that  it  was  the  renowned  peepul  —  the  tree  in  whose 
shadow  you  cannot  tell  a  lie.  This  one  failed  to  stand  the  test, 
and  I  went  away  from  it  disappointed.  There  was  a  softly 
creaking  well  close  by,  and  a  couple  of  oxen  drew  water  from 
it  by  the  hour,  superintended  by  two  natives  dressed  in  the 
usual  "turban  and  pocket-handkerchief."  The  tree  and  the 
well  were  the  only  scenery,  and  so  the  compound  was  a  sooth- 
ing and  lonesome  and  satisfying  place ;  and  very  restful  after 
so  many  activities.  There  was  nobody  in  our  bungalow  but 
ourselves ;  the  other  guests  were  in  the  next  one,  where  the 
table  d  note  was  furnished.  A  body  could  not  be  more  pleas- 
antly situated.  Each  room  had  the  customary  bath  attached  - 
a  room  ten  or  twelve  feet  square,  with  a  roomy  stone-paved 
pit  in  it  and  abundance  of  water.  One  could  not  easily 
improve  upon  this  arrangement,  except  by  furnishing  it  with 
cold  water  and  excluding  the  hot,  in  deference  to  the  fervent- v 
of  the  climate;  but  that  is  forbidden.  It  would  damage  the 
bather's  health.  The  stranger  is  warned  against  taking-  cold 
baths  in  India,  but  even  the  most  intelligent  strangers  are 
fools,  and  they  do  not  obey,  and  so  they  presently  get  laid  up. 
I  was  the  most  intelligent  fool  that  passed  through,  that  year. 
But  I  am  still  more  intelligent  now.     Now  that  it  is  too  late. 

I  wonder  if  the  dorian,  if  that  is  the  name  of  it,  is  another 
superstition,  like  the  peepul  tree.  There  was  a  great  abun- 
dance and  variety  of  tropical  fruits,  but  the  dorian  was  never 
in  evidence.  It  was  never  the  season  for  the  dorian.  It  was 
always  going  to  arrive  from  Burma  sometime  or  other,  but  it 
never  did.  By  all  accounts  it  was  a  most  strange  fruit,  and 
incomparably  delicious  to  the  taste,  but  not  to  the  smell.  Its 
rind  was  said  to  exude  a  stench  of  so  atrocious  a  nature  that 
when  a  dorian  was  in  the  room  even  the  presence  of  a  polecat 


THE   DORIAN. 


4  Tit 


was  a  refreshment.  We  found  many  who  had  eaten  the 
dorian,  and  they  all  spoke  of  it  with  a  sort  of  rapture.  They 
said  that  if  you  could  hold  your  nose  until  the  fruit  was  in 
your  mouth  a  sacred  joy  would  suffuse  you  from  head  to  foot 
that  would  make  you  oblivious  to 
the  smell  of  the  rind,  but  that  if 
your  grip  slipped  and  you  caught 
the  smell  of  the  rind  before  the 
fruit  was  in  your  mouth,  you 
would  faint.  There  is  a  for- 
tune in  that  rind.  Some  day 
somebody  will  import  it  into 
Europe  and  sell  it  for  cheese. 
Benares  was  not  a  disap- 
pointment. It  justified  its 
reputation  as  a  curiosity.  It 
is  on  high  ground,  and  over- 
hangs a  grand  curve  of  the 
Ganges.  It  is  a  vast  mass  of 
building,  compactly  crustin 
a  hill,  and  is  cloven  in  a 
directions  by  an  intricate  «^« 
confusion  of  cracks  which  \* 
stand  for  streets.  Tall,  slim  ^ 
minarets  and  befiagged  tem- 
ple-spires rise  out  of  it  and 
give  it  picturesqueness, 
viewed  from  the  river.  The  city  is  as  busy  as  an  ant-hill,  and 
the  hurly-burly  of  human  life  swarming  along;  the  web  of 
narrow  streets  reminds  one  of  the  ants.  The  sacred  cow 
swarms  along,  too,  and  goes  whither  she  pleases,  and  takes 
toll  of  the  grain-shops,  and  is  very  much  in  the  way,  and  is  a 
good  deal  of  a  nuisance,  since  she  must  not  be  molested. 


v      '  J,         "  'J 


THEY    SPOKE    OK    IT    WITH    KAPTURK. 


480  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

Benares  is  older  than  history,  older  than  tradition,  older 
even  than  legend,  and  looks  twice  as  old  as  all  of  them  put 
together.  From  a  Hindoo  statement  quoted  in  Rev.  Mr. 
Parker's  compact  and  lucid  Guide  to  Benares.  I  find  that  the 
site  of  the  town  was  the  beginning-place  of  the  Creation.  It 
was  merely  an  upright  "  lingam,"  at  first,  no  larger  than  a 
stove-pipe,  and  stood  in  the  midst  of  a  shoreless  ocean.  This 
was  the  work  of  the  God  Vishnu.  Later  he  spread  the  lingam 
out  till  its  surface  was  ten  miles  across.  Still  it  was  not  large 
enough  for  the  business;  therefore  he  presently  built  the 
globe  around  it.  Benares  is  thus  the  center  of  the  earth. 
This  is  considered  an  advantage. 

It  has  had  a  tumultuous  history,  both  materially  and  spirit- 
ually. It  started  Brahminically.  many  ages  ago ;  then  by  and 
by  Buddha  came  in  recent  times  2,500  years  ago,  and  after 
that  it  was  Buddhist  during  many  centuries  —  twelve,  per- 
haps—  but  the  Brahmins  got  the  upper  hand  again,  then,  and 
have  held  it  ever  since.  It  is  unspeakably  sacred  in  Hindoo 
eyes,  and  is  as  unsanitary  as  it  is  sacred,  and  smells  like  the 
rind  of  the  dorian.  It  is  the  headquarters  of  the  Brahmin 
faith,  and  one-eighth  of  the  population  are  priests  of  that 
church.  But  it  is  not  an  overstock,  for  they  have  all  India  as 
a  prey.  All  India  flocks  thither  on  pilgrimage,  and  pours  its 
savings  into  the  pockets  of  the  priests  in  a  generous  stream, 
which  never  fails.  A  priest  with  a  good  stand  on  the  shore  of 
the  Ganges  is  much  better  off  than  the  sweeper  of  the  best  cross- 
ing in  London.  A  good  stand  is  worth  a  world  of  money. 
The  holy  proprietor  of  it  sits  under  his  grand  spectacular 
umbrella  and  blesses  people  all  his  life,  and  collects  his  com- 
mission, and  grows  fat  and  rich ;  and  the  stand  passes  from 
father  to  son,  down  and  down  and  down  through  the  asres, 
and  remains  a  permanent  and  lucrative  estate  in  the  family. 
As  Mr.  Parker  suggests,  it  can  become  a  subject  of  dispute,  at 


BENARES.  4-81 

one  time  or  another,  and  then  the  matter  will  be  settled,  not 
by  prayer  and  fasting  and  consultations  with  Vishnu,  but  by 
the  intervention  of  a  much  more  puissant  power  —  an  English 
court.  In  Bombay  I  was  told  bv  an  American  missionary 
that  in  India  there  are  640  Protestant  missionaries  at  work. 
At  first  it  seemed  an  immense  force,  but  of  course  that  was  a 
thoughtless  idea.  One  missionary  to  500,000  natives  —  no, 
that  is  not  a  force ;  it  is  the  reverse  of  it ;  640  marching 
against  an  intrenched  camp  of  300,000,000  —  the  odds  are  too 
great.  A  force  of  640  in  Benares  alone  would  have  its  hands 
over-full  with  8,000  Brahmin  priests  for  adversary.  Mission- 
aries need  to  be  well  equipped  with  hope  and  confidence,  and 
this  ecpiipment  they  seem  to  have  always  had  in  all  parts  of 
the  world.  Mr.  Parker  has  it.  It  enables  him  to  get  a  favor- 
able outlook  out  of  statistics  which  might  add  up  differently 
with  other  mathematicians.     For  instance: 

"  During  the  past  few  years  competent  observers  declare 
that  the  number  of  pilgrims  to  Benares  has  increased. M 

And  then  he  adds  up  this  fact  and  gets  this  conclusion : 

k>  But  the  revival,  if  so  it  may  be  called,  has  in  it  the  marks 
of  death.     It  is  a  spasmodic  struggle  before  dissolution." 

In  this  world  we  have  seen  the  Roman  Catholic  power 
dying,  upon  these  same  terms,  for  many  centuries.  Many  a 
time  we  have  gotten  all  ready  for  the  funeral  and  found  it 
postponed  again,  on  account  of  the  weather  or  something. 
Taught  by  experience,  we  ought  not  to  put  on  our  things  for 
this  Brahminical  one  till  we  see  the  procession  move.  Appar- 
ently one  of  the  most  uncertain  things  in  the  world  is  the 
funeral  of  a  religion. 

I  should  have  been  glad  to  acquire  some  sort  of  idea  of 
Hindoo  theology,  but  the  difficulties  were  too  great,  the  matter 
was  too  intricate.  Even  the  mere  A,  B.  C  of  it  is  baffling. 
31 


482  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

There  is  a  trinity --Brahma,  Shiva,  and  Vishnu  —  independent 
powers,  apparently,  though  one  cannot  feel  quite  sure  of  that, 
because  in  one  of  the  temples  there  is  an  image  where  an 
attempt  has  been  made  to  concentrate  the  three  in  one  person. 
The  three  have  other  names  and  plenty  of  them,  and  this 
makes  confusion  in  one's  mind.  The  three  have  wives  and  the 
wives  have  several  names,  and  this  increases  the  confusion. 
There  are  children,  the  children  have  many  names,  and  thus 
the  confusion  goes  on  and  on.  It  is  not  worth  while  to  try  to 
get  any  grip  upon  the  cloud  of  minor  gods,  there  are  too  many 
of  them. 

It  is  even  a  justifiable  economy  to  leave  Brahma,  the 
chiefest  god  of  all,  out  of  your  studies,  for  he  seems  to  cut  no 
great  figure  in  India.  The  vast  bulk  of  the  national  worship 
is  lavished  upon  Shiva  and  Vishnu  and  their  families.  Shiva's 
symbol — the  "lingam"  with  which  Vishnu  began  the  Crea- 
tion—  is  Avorshiped  by  everybody,  apparently.  It  is  the  com- 
monest object  in  Benares.  It  is  on  view  everywhere,  it  is 
garlanded  with  flowers,  offerings  are  made  to  it,  it  suffers  no 
neglect.  Commonly  it  is  an  upright  stone,  shaped  like  a 
thimble — sometimes  like  an  elongated  thimble.  This  priapus- 
worship,  then,  is  older  than  history.  Mr.  Parker  says  that  the 
lingams  in  Benares  "outnumber  tin  inhabitants" 

In  Benares  there  are  many  Mohammedan  mosques.  There 
are  Hindoo  temples  without  number — these  quaintly  shaped 
and  elaborately  sculptured  little  stone  jugs  crowd  all  the  lanes. 
The  Ganges  itself  and  every  individual  drop  of  water  in  it  are 
temples.  Religion,  then,  is  the  business  of  Benares,  just  as 
gold-production  is  the  business  of  Johannesburg.  Other  indus- 
tries count  for  nothing  as  compared  with  the  vast  and  all-ab- 
sorbing rush  and  drive  and  boom  of  the  town's  specialty.  Be- 
nares is  the  sacredest  of  sacred  cities.  The  moment  you  step 
across  the  sharply-defined  line  which  separates  it  from  The  rest 


THE   BUSINESS   OF  BENARES.  483 

of  the  globe,  you  stand  upon  ineffably  and  unspeakably  holy 
ground.  Mr.  Parker  says:  "It  is  impossible  to  convey  any 
adequate  idea  of  the  intense  feelings  of  veneration  and  affec- 
tion with  which  the  pious  Hindoo  regards  lIloly  Kashi' 
(Benares)."'  And  then  he  gives  you  this  vivid  and  moving  pic- 
ture : 

"  Let  a  Hindoo  regiment  be  marched  through  the  district,  and  as  soon  as 
they  cross  the  line  and  enter  the  limits  of  the  holy  place  they  rend  the  air  with 
cries  of  '  Kashi  ji  ki  jai  —  jai  —  jai  !  (Holy  Kashi  !  Hail  to  thee  !  Hail  ! 
Hail  !  Hail)'.  The  weary  pilgrim  scarcely  able  to  stand,  with  age  and  weak- 
ness, blinded  by  the  dust  and  heat,  and  almost  dead  with  fatigue,  crawls  out 
of  the  oven-like  railway  carriage  and  as  soon  as  his  feet  touch  the  ground  he 
lifts  up  his  withered  hands  and  utters  the  same  pious  exclamation.  Lei  a 
European  in  some  distant  city  in  casual  talk  in  the  bazar  mention  the  fact  that 
lie  has  lived  at  Benares,  and  at  once  voices  will  be  raised  to  call  down  bless- 
ings on  his  head,  for  a  dweller  in  Benares  is  of  all  men  most  blessed." 

It  makes  our  own  religious  enthusiasm  seem  pale  and  cold. 
Inasmuch  as  the  life  of  religion  is  in  the  heart,  not  the  head, 
Mr.  Parker's  touching  picture  seems  to  promise  a  sort  of  indefi- 
nite postponement  of  that  funeral. 


CHAPTER  LI. 

Let  me  make  the  superstitions  of  a  nation  and  I  care  not  who  makes  its  laws  or 
its  songs  either. — Pudd'nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

YES,  the  city  of  Benares  is  in  effect  just  ;t  big  church,  a 
religious  hive,  whose  every  cell  is  a  temple,  a  shrine  or 
a  mosque,  and  whose  every  conceivable  earthly  and 
heavenly  good  is  procurable  under  one  roof,  so  to  speak --a 
sort  of  Army  and  Navy  Stores,  theologically  stocked. 

I  will  make  out  a  little  itinerary  for  the  pilgrim  ;  then  you 
will  see  how  handy  the  system  is.  how  convenient,  how  com- 
prehensive. If  you  go  to  Benares  with  a  serious  desire  to  spir- 
itually benefit  yourself,  you  will  find  it  valuable.  I  got  some 
of  the  facts  from  conversations  with  the  Rev.  Mr.  Parker  and 
the  others  from  his  Guide  to  Benares  ;  they  are  therefore  trust- 
worthy. 

1.  Purification.  At  sunrise  you  must  go  down  to  the 
Ganges  and  bathe,  pray,  and  drink  some  of  the  water.  This  is 
for  your  general  purification. 

2.  Protection  against  Hunger.  Next,  you  must  fortify 
yourself  against  the  sorrowful  earthly  ill  just  named.  This 
you  will  do  by  worshiping  for  a  moment  in  the  Cow  Temple. 
By  the  door  of  it  you  will  find  an  image  of  Ganesh,  son  of 
Shiva;  it  has  the  head  of  an  elephant  on  a  human  body;  its 
face  and  hands  are  of  silver.  You  will  worship  it  a  little,  and 
pass  on,  into  a  covered  veranda,  where  you  will  find  devotees 
reciting  from  the  sacred  books,  with  the  help  of  instructors. 
In  this  place  are  groups  of  rude  and  dismal  idols.  You  may 
contribute  something  for  their  support ;  then  pass  into  the  tem- 

(484) 


THE   PII.ciUIM'S   GUIDE. 


4,s; 


pie,  a  grim  and  stenchy  place,  for  it  is  populous  with  sacred 
cows  and  with  beggars.  You  will  give  something  to  the  beg- 
gars, and  "reverently  kiss  the  tails"  of  such  cows  as  pass  along. 
for  these  cows  are  peculiarly  holy,  and  this  act  of  worship  will 


secure  you  from  hunger  for  the  day. 


do  it  i;i:\  Kui.vn.Y, 


3.  "  The  Pnii/'  Man's  Friend."  You  will  next  worship 
this  god.  lie  is  at  the  bottom  of  a  stone  cistern  in  the  temple 
of  Dalbhveswar,  under  the  shade  of  a  noble  peepul  tree  on  the 
bluff  overlooking  the  Ganges,  so  you  must  go  back  to  the 
river.  The  Poor  Man's  Friend  is  the  god  of  material  jn'ox- 
perity  in  general,  and  the  god  of  the  rain  in  particular.  You 
will  secure  material  prosperiy,  tor  both,  by  worshiping  him. 
He  is  Shiva,  under  a  new  alias,  and  he  abides  in  the  bottom 
of  that  cistern,  in  the  form  of  a  stone  litigant.  You  pour 
(iamb's  water  over  him,  and  in  return  for  this  homaere  you 
get  the  promised  benefits.  If  there  is  any  delay  about  the 
rain,  you  must  pour  water  in  until  the  cistern  is  full  ;  the  rain 
will  then  be  sure  to  come. 

4.  Fever.  At  the  Kedar  Ghat  you  will  find  a  long  Might 
of  stone  steps  leading  down  to  tin1  river.  Half  way  down  is  a 
tank  tilled  with  sewage.  Drink  as  much  of  it  as  you  want.  It 
is  for  fever. 


4Sti  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

5.  Smallpox.  Go  straight  from  there  to  the  central  Ghat. 
At  its  upstream  end  you  will  find  a  small  whitewashed  build- 
ing, which  is  a  temple  sacred  to  Sitala,  goddess  of  smallpox. 
Her  under-studv  is  there  —  a  rude  human  figure  behind  a  brass 
screen.  You  will  worship  this  for  reasons  to  be  furnished 
presently. 

<>.  The  Well  of  Fate.  For  certain  reasons  you  will  next 
o-o  and  do  homage  at  this  well.  You  Avill  find  it  in  the  Dand- 
pan  Temple,  in  the  city.  The  sunlight  falls  into  it  from  a 
square  hole  in  the  masonry  above.  You  will  approach  it  with 
awe,  for  your  life  is  now  at  stake.  You  will  bend  over  and 
look.  If  the  fates  are  propitious,  you  will  see  your  face  pic- 
tured in  the  water  far  down  in  the  well.  If  matters  have  been 
otherwise  ordered,  a  sudden  cloud  will  mask  the  sun  and  you 
will  see  nothing.  This  means  that  you  have  not  six  months  to 
live.  If  you  are  already  at  the  point  of  death,  your  circum- 
stances are  now  serious.  There  is  no  time  to  lose.  Let  this 
world  go,  arrange  for  the  next  one.  Handily  situated,  at 
your  very  elbow,  is  opportunity  for  this.  You  turn  and  wor- 
ship the  image  of  Maha  Kal,  the  Great  Fate,  and  happiness  in 
the  life  to  come  is  secured.  If  there  is  breath  in  your  bodv 
yet,  you  should  now  make  an  effort  to  get  a  further  lease  of 
the  present  life.  Yrou  have  a  chance.  There  is  a  chance  for 
evervthino-  in  this  admirably  stocked  and  wonderfully  svstem- 
ized  Spiritual  and  Temporal  Army  and  Navy  Store.  You 
must  get  yourself  carried  to  the 

7.  Well  of  Long  Life.  This  is  within  the  precincts  of  the 
mouldering  and  venerable  Briddhkal  Temple,  which  is  one  of 
the  oldest  in  Benares.  You  pass  in  by  a  stone  image  of  the 
monkey  god,  Hanuman,  and  there,  among  the  ruined  court- 
yards, you  will  find  a  shallow  pool  of  stagnant  sewage.  It 
smells  like  the  best  limburger  cheese,  and  is  filthy  with  the 
washings  of  rotting  lepers,  but  that  is  nothing,   bathe  in  it  ; 


THE    WELL  OF  FATE. 


THE   PILGRIM'S   GUIDE.  4M» 

bathe  in  it  gratefully  and  worshipfully,  for  this  is  the  Foun- 
tain of  Youth;  these  are  the  Waters  of  Long  Life.  Your 
gray  hairs  will  disappear,  and  with  them  your  wrinkles  and 
your  rheumatism,  the  burdens  of  care  and  the  weariness  of  age. 
and  you  will  come  out  young,  fresh,  elastic,  and  full  of  eager- 
ness for  the  new  race  of  life.  Now  will  come  flooding  upon 
you  the  manifold  desires  that  haunt  the  dear  dreams  of  the 
morning  of  life.     You  will  go  whither  you  will  find 

8.  Fulfillment  of  Desire.  To  wit,  to  the  Kameshwar 
Temple,  sacred  to  Shiva  as  the  Lord  of  Desires.  Arrange  for 
yours  there.  And  if  you  like  to  look  at  idols  among  the  pack 
and  jam  of  temples,  there  you  will  find  enough  to  stock  a 
museum.  You  will  begin  to  commit  sins  now  with  a  fresh, 
new  vivacity;  therefore,  it  will  be  well  to  go  frequently  to  a 
place  where  you  can  get 

9.  Temporary  Cleansing  from  s'tn.  To  wit,  to  the  Well 
of  the  Earring.  You  must  approach  this  with  the  profoundest 
reverence,  for  it  is  unutterably  sacred.  It  is,  indeed,  the  most 
sacred  place  in  Benares,  the  very  Holy  of  Holies,  in  the  esti- 
mation of  the  people.  It  is  a  railed  tank,  with  stone  stairways 
leading  down  to  the  water.  The  water  is  not  clean.  Of 
course  it  could  not  be,  for  people  are  always  bathing  in  it. 
As  long  as  you  choose  to  stand  and  look,  you  will  see  the  files 
of  sinners  descending  and  ascending  —  descending  soiled  with 
sin.  ascending  purged  from  it.  "The  Liar,  the  thief,  the  mur- 
derer, and  the  adulterer  may  here  wash  and  be  clean,''  says 
the  Kev.  Mr.  Parker,  in  his  book.  Very  well.  1  know  Mr. 
Parker,  and  I  believe  it;  but  if  anybody  else  had  said  it,  I 
should  consider  him  a  person  who  had  better  go  down  in  the 
tank  and  take  another  wash.  The  god  Vishnu  dug  this  tank. 
He  had  nothing  to  dig  with  but  his  "discus."  I  do  not  know 
what  a  discus  is.  but  I  know  it  is  a  poor  thing  to  dig  tanks 
with,  because,  by  the  time  this  one  was  finished,  it  was  full  of 


490  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

sweat  -  -  Vishnu's  sweat.  ITe  constructed  the  site  that 
Benares  stands  on,  and  afterward  built  the  globe  around  it, 
and  thought  nothing  of  it,  yet  sweated  like  that  over  a  little 
thins  like  this  tank.  One  of  these  statements  is  doubtful.  1 
do  not  know  which  one  it  is,  but  I  think  it  difficult  not  to 
believe  that  a  god  who  could  build  a  world  around  Benares 
would  not  be  intelligent  enough  to  build  it  around  the  tank 
too,  and  not  have  to  dig  it.  Youth,  long  life,  temporary  puri- 
fication from  sin,  salvation  through  propitiation  of  the  Great 
Fate  —  these  are  all  good.  But  you  must  do  something  more. 
You  must 

10.  Make  Salvation  Sure.  There  are  several  ways.  To 
get  drowned  in  the  Ganges  is  one,  but  that  is  not  pleasant. 
To  die  within  the  limits  of  Benares  is  another ;  but  that  is  a 
risky  one,  because  you  might  be  out  of  town  when  your  time 
came.  The  best  one  of  all  is  the  Pilgrimage  Around  the  City. 
You  must  walk;  also,  you  must  go  barefoot.  The  tramp  is 
forty -four  miles,  for  the  road  winds  out  into  the  country  a 
piece,  and  }^ou  will  be  marching  five  or  six  days.  But  you 
will  have  plenty  of  company.  You  will  move  with  throngs 
and  hosts  of  happy  pilgrims  whose  radiant  costumes  will 
make  the  spectacle  beautiful  and  whose  glad  songs  and  holy 
paeans  of  triumph  will  banish  your  fatigues  and  cheer  your 
spirit ;  and  at  intervals  there  will  be  temples  where  you  may 
sleep  and  be  refreshed  with  food.  The  pilgrimage  completed, 
you  have  purchased  salvation,  and  paid  for  it.  But  you  may 
not  get  it  unless  you 

11.  Get  Your  Redemption  Recorded.  You  can  get  this 
done  at  the  Sakhi  Binayak  Temple,  and  it  is  best  to  do  it,  for 
otherwise  you  might  not  be  able  to  prove  that  you  had  made 
the  pilgrimage  in  case  the  matter  should  some  day  come  to  be 
disputed.  That  temple  is  in  a  lane  back  of  the  Cow  Temple. 
Over  the  door  is  a  red  image  of  Ganesh  of  the  elephant  head, 


THE   PILGRIM'S   GUIDE.  491 

son  and  heir  of  Shiva,  and  Prince  of  Wales  to  the  Theological 
Monarchy,  so  to  speak.  Within  is  a  god  whose  office  it  is  to 
record  your  pilgrimage  and  be  responsible  for  von.  You  will 
not  see  him,  but  you  will  see  a  Brahmin  who  will  attend  to  the 

matter  ami  take  the  money.  If  he  should  forget  to  collect  the 
money,  you  can  remind  him.  1L  knows  thai  your  salvation 
is  now  secure,  hut  of  course  von  would  like  to  know  it  your- 
self.    You  have  nothing  to  do  hut  go  and  pray,  and  pay  at  the 

VI.  Well  of  the  Knowledge  of  Salvation.  It  is  close  to 
the  Golden  Temple.  There  you  will  see,  sculptured  out  of  a 
single  piece  of  black  marble,  a  hull  which  is  much  larger  than 
any  living  hull  you  have  ever  seen,  and  yet  is  not  a  good  like- 
ness after  all.  And  there  also  you  will  see  a  very  uncommon 
thine  an  imasre  of  Shiva.  Yon  have  seen  his  lingam  fifty 
thousand  times  already,  hut  this  is  Shiva  himself,  and  said  to 
he  a  u-ood  likeness.  It  has  three  eves,  lie  is  the  onlv  god  in 
the  firm  that  has  three.  "The  well  is  covered  by  a  fine 
canopy  of  stone  supported  by  forty  pillars,*'  and  around  it  you 
will  find  what  you  have  already  seen  at  almost  every  shrine 
you  have  visited  in  Benares,  a  mob  of  devout  and  eager  pil- 
grims. The  sacred  water  is  being  ladled  out  to  them;  with  it 
conies  to  them  the  knowledge,  clear,  thrilling,  absolute,  that 
thev  are  saved ;  and  you  can  see  by  their  faces  that  there  is 
one  happiness  in  this  world  which  is  supreme,  and  to  which  no 
other  joy  is  comparable.  You  receive  your  water,  you  make 
your  deposit,  and  now  what  more  would  you  have?  Gold, 
diamonds,  power,  fame?  All  in  a  single  moment  these  things 
have  withered  to  dirt,  dust,  ashes.  The  world  has  nothing  to 
give  you  now.     For  you  it  is  bankrupt. 

I  do  not  claim  that  the  pilgrims  do  their  acts  of  worship  in 
the  order  and  sequence  above  charted  out  in  this  Itinerary  of 
mine,  but  I  think  logic  suggests  that  they  ought  to  do  so. 
Instead  of  a  helter-skelter  worship,  we  then  have  a  definite 


4-92  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

starting-place,  and  a  march  which  carries  the  pilgrim  steadily 
forward  by  reasoned  and  logical  progression  to  a  definite  goal. 
Thus,  his  Ganges  bath  in  the  early  morning  gives  him  an 
appetite;  he  kisses  the  cow-tails,  and  that  removes  it.  It  is 
now  business  hours,  and  longings  for  material  prosperity  rise 
in  his  mind,  and  he  goes  and  pours  water  over  Shiva's  symbol  ; 
this  insures  the  prosperity,  but  also  brings  on  a  rain,  which 
gives  him  a  fever.  Then  he  drinks  the  sewage  at  the  Kedar 
Ghat  to  cure  the  fever;  it  cures  the  fever  but  gives  him  the 
smallpox.  He  wishes  to  know  how  it  is  going  to  turn  out  ;  he 
goes  to  the  Dandpan  Temple  and  looks  down  the  well.  A 
clouded  sun  shows  him  that  death  is  near.  Logically  his  best 
course  for  the  present,  since  he  cannot  tell  at  what  moment  he 
may  die,  is  to  secure  a  happy  hereafter;  this  he  does,  through 
the  agency  of  the  Great  Fate.  lie  is  safe,  now,  for  heaven; 
his  next  move  will  naturally  be  to  keep  out  of  it  as  long  as  he 
can.  Therefore  he  goes  to  the  Briddhkal  Temple  and  secures 
Youth  and  long  life  by  bathing  in  a  puddle  of  leper-pus  which 
would  kill  a  microbe.  Logically,  Youth  lias  re-equipped  him 
for  sin  and  with  the  disposition  to  commit  it  ;  he  will  naturally 
go  to  the  fane  which  is  consecrated  to  the  Fulfillment  of 
Desires,  and  make  arrangements.  Logically,  he  will  now  go 
to  the  AVell  of  the  Earring  from  time  to  time  to  unload  and 
freshen  up  for  further  banned  enjoyments.  But  first  and  last 
and  all  the  time  he  is  human,  and  therefore  in  his  reflective 
intervals  he  will  always  be  speculating  in  ,k  futures.'"  He  will 
make  tin1  Great  Pilsrimao;e  around  the  city  and  so  make  his 
salvation  absolutely  sure;  he  will  also  have  record  made  of  it, 
so  that  it  may  remain  absolutely  sure  and  not  be  forgotten  or 
repudiated  in  the  confusion  of  the  Final  Settlement.  Logic- 
ally, also,  he  will  wish  to  have  satisfying  and  tranquilizing 
'personal  knowledge  that  that  salvation  is  secure  ;  therefore  he 
goes  to  the   Well  of  the   Knowledge  of  Salvation,  adds   that 


THE   PILGRIMS   GUIDE. 


in:; 


completing  detail,  and  then  goes  about  his  affairs  serene  and 
content;  serene  and  content,  for  he  is  now  royally  endowed 
with  an  advantage  which  no  religion  in  this  world  could  give 
him  hut  his  own  ;  for  henceforth  he  may  commit  as  many  mil- 
lion sins  as  he  wants  to  and  nothing  can  come  of  it. 

Thus  the  system,  properly  and  logically  ordered,  is  neat, 
compact,  clearly  defined,  and  covers  .the  whole  ground.  I 
desire  to  recommend  it  to  such  as  Hud  the  other  systems  too 
difficult,  exacting,  and  irksome  for  the  uses  of  this  fretful  brief 
life  of  ours. 

However,  let  me  not  deceive  any  one.  My  Itinerary  lacks 
a  detail.  I  must  put  it  in.  The  truth  is,  that  after  the  pil- 
grim has  faithfully  followed  the  requirements  of  the  Itinerary 
through  to  the  end  and  has  secured  his  salvation  and  also  the 
personal  knowledge  of  that  fact,  there  is  still  an  accident  pos- 
sible to  him  which  can  annul  the  whole  thing:.     If  he  should 


O' 


ever  cross  to  the  other  side  of  the  Ganges  and  get  caught  out 
and  die  there  he  would  at  once  come  to  life  again  in  the  form 


CONSIDERING    'IKK    MATTER. 


of  an  ass.  Think  of  that,  after  all  this  trouble  and  expense. 
You  see  how  capricious  and  uncertain  salvation  is  there.  The 
Hindoo   has    a    childish    and    unreasoning    aversion    to    being 


4-94  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

turned  into  an  ass.  It  is  hard  to  tell  why.  One  could  prop- 
erly expect  an  ass  to  have  an  aversion  to  being  turned  into  a 
Hindoo.  One  could  understand  that  he  could  lose  dignity  by 
it  ;  also  self-respect,  and  nine-tenths  of  his  intelligence.  But 
the  Hindoo  changed  into  an  ass  wouldn't  lose  anything,  unless 
you  count  his  religion.  And  he  would  gain  much  —  release 
from  his  slavery  to  two  million  gods  and  twenty  million 
priests,  fakeers,  holy  mendicants,  and  other  sacred  bacilli ;  he 
would  escape  the  Hindoo  hell ;  he  would  also  escape  the 
Hindoo  heaven.  These  are  advantages  which  the  Hindoo 
ought  to  consider  ;  then  he  would  go  over  and  die  on  the  other 
side. 

Benares  is  a  religious  Vesuvius,  in  its  bowels  the  theolog- 
ical  forces  have  been  heaving  and  tossing,  rumbling,  thunder- 
ing and  quaking,  boiling,  and  weltering  and  naming  and 
smoking  for  ages.  But  a  little  group  of  missionaries  have 
taken  post  at  its  base,  and  they  have  hopes.  There  are  the 
Baptist  Missionary  Society,  the  Church  Missionary  Society,  the 
London  Missionary  Society,  the  AVesleyan  Missionary  Society, 
and  the  Zenana  Bible  and  Medical  Mission.  They  have 
schools,  and  the  principal  work  seems  to  be  among  the 
children.  And  no  doubt  that  part  of  the  work  prospers  best, 
for  grown  people  everywhere  are  always  likely  to  cling  to  the 
religion  they  were  brought  up  in. 


- 
as 
> 


CHAPTEE   LI  I. 

Wrinkles  should  merely  indicate  where  smiles  have  been. 

—  PhiIiT  iihuiil  Wilsoii's  New  Calendar. 

IX  one  of  those  Benares  temples  we  saw  a  devotee  working 
for  salvation  in  a  curious  way.  lie  had  a  huge  wad  of 
clay  beside  him  and  was  making  it  up  into  little  wee  gods 
no  bigger  than  carpet  tacks.  He  stuck  a  grain  of  rice  into 
each  —  to  represent  the  lingam,  I  think.  He.  turned  them  out 
nimbly,  for  he  had  had  long  practice  and  had  acquired  great 
facility.  Every  day  he  made  2,000  gods,  then  threw  them  into 
the  holy  Ganges.  This  act  of  homage  brought  him  the  pro- 
found homage  of  the  pious  —  also  their  coppers.  He  had  a  sure 
living  here,  and  was  earning  a  high  place  in  the  hereafter. 

The  Ganges  front  is  the  supreme  show-place  of  Benares. 
Its  tall  bluffs  are  solidly  caked  from  water  to  summit,  along  a 
stretch  of  three  miles,  with  a  splendid  jumble  of  massive  and 
picturesque  masonry,  a  bewildering  and  beautiful  confusion  of 
stone  platforms,  temples,  stair-nights,  rich  and  stately  palaces 
-nowhere  a  break,  nowhere  a  glimpse  of  the  bluff  itself;  all 
the  long  face  of  it  is  compactly  walled  from  sight  by  this 
crammed  perspective  of  platforms,  soaring  stairways,  sculp- 
tured temples,  majestic  palaces,  softening  away  into  the  dis- 
tances; and  there  is  movement,  motion,  human  life  everywhere, 
and  brilliantly  costumed -- streaming  in  rainbows  up  and 
down  the  lofty  stairways,  and  massed  in  metaphorical  flower- 
gardens  on  the  miles  of  great  platforms  at  the  river's  edge. 

All    this  masonry,  all   this  architecture  represents ,  piety. 
The  palaces  were  built  by  native  princes  whose  homes,  as  a 

(496) 


BOATING  ON  THE   GANGES.  497 

rule,  are  far  from  Benares,  but  who  go  there  from  time  to  time 
to  refresh  their  souls  with  the  sight  and  touch  of  the  Ganges,  the 
river  of  their  idolatry.  The  stairways  are  records  of  acts  of 
piety ;  the  crowd  of  costly  little  temples  are  tokens  of  money 
spent  by  rich  men  for  present  credit  and  hope  of  future  re- 
ward. Apparently,  the  rich  Christian  who  spends  large  sums 
upon  his  religion  is  conspicuous  with  us.  by  his  rarity,  but  the 
rich  Hindoo  who  doesn't  spend  large  sums  upon  his  religion  is 
seemingly  non-existent.  With  us  the  poor  spend  money  on 
their  religion,  but  they  keep  back  some  to  live  on.  Appar- 
ently, in  India,  the  poor  bankrupt  themselves  daily  for  their 
religion.  The  rich  Hindoo  can  afford  his  pious  outlays ;  he 
gets  much  glory  for  his  spendings,  yet  keeps  back  a  sufficiency 
of  his  income  for  temporal  purposes ;  but  the  poor  Hindoo  is 
entitled  to  compassion,  for  his  spendings  keep  him  poor,  yet 
get  him  no  glory. 

We  made  the  usual  trip  up  and  down  the  river,  seated  in 
chairs  under  an  awning  on  the  deck  of  the  usual  commodious 
hand-propelled  ark ;  made  it  two  or  three  times,  and  could 
have  made  it  with  increasing  interest  and  enjoyment  many 
times  more;  for,  of  course,  the  palaces  and  temples  would 
grow  more  and  more  beautiful  every  time  one  saw  them,  for 
that  happens  with  all  such  things ;  also,  I  think  one  would  not 
get  tired  of  the  bathers,  nor  their  costumes,  nor  of  their  inge- 
nuities in  getting  out  of  them  and  into  them  again  without 
exposing  too  much  bronze,  nor  of  their  devotional  gesticula- 
tions and  absorbed  bead-telling's. 

But  I  should  get  tired  of  seeing  them  wash  their  mouths 
with  that  dreadful  water  and  drink  it,  In  fact,  I  did  get  tired 
of  it,  and  very  early,  too.  At  one  place  where  we  halted  for  a 
while,  the  foul  gush  from  a  sewer  was  making  the  water  turbid 
and  murky  all  around,  and  there  was  a  random  corpse  slopping 
around  in  it  that  had  floated  down  from  up  country.     Ten  steps 

32 


THE  PICTURESQUE   RIVER   FRONT.  499 

below  that  place  stood  a  crowd  of  men,  women,  and  comely 
young  maidens  waist  deep  in  the  water  —  and  they  were 
scooping  it  up  in  their  hands  and  drinking  it.  Faith  can  cer- 
tainly do  wonders,  and  this  is  an  instance  of  it.  Those  people 
were  not  drinking  that  fearful  stuff  to  assuage  thirst,  but  in 
order  to  purify  their  souls  and  the  interior  of  their  bodies. 
According  to  their  creed,  the  Ganges  water  makes  everything 
pure  that  it  touches  —  instantly  and  utterly  pure.  The  sewer 
water  was  not  an  offence  to  them,  the  corpse  did  not  revolt 
them;  the  sacred  water  had  touched  both,  and  both  were  now 
snow-pure,  and  could  defile  no  one.  The  memory  of  that  sight 
will  always  stay  by  me;  but  not  by  request. 

A  word  further  concerning  the  nasty  but  all-purifying 
Ganges  water.  When  we  went  to  Agra,  by  and  by,  we  hap- 
pened there  just  in  time  to  be  in  at  the  birth  of  a  marvel  —  a 
memorable  scientific  discovery --the  discovery  that  in  certain 
ways  the  foul  and  derided  Ganges  water  is  the  most  puissant 
purifier  in  the  world !  This  curious  fact,  as  I  have  said,  had 
just  been  added  to  the  treasury  of  modern  science.  It  had 
long  been  noted  as  a  strange  thing  that  while  Benares  is  often 
afflicted  with  the  cholera  she  does  not  spread  it  beyond  her 
borders.  This  could  not  be  accounted  for.  Mr.  Henkin,  the 
scientist  in  the  employ  of  the  government  of  Agra,  concluded 
to  examine  the  water.  He  went  to  Benares  and  made  his 
tests.  He  got  water  at  the  mouths  of  the  sewers  where  they 
empty  into  the  river  at  the  bathing  ghats ;  a  cubic  centimetre 
of  it  contained  millions  of  germs ;  at  the  end  of  six  hours 
they  were  all  dead.  He  caught  a  floating  corpse,  towed  it  to 
the  shore,  and  from  beside  it  he  dipped  up  water  that  was 
swarming  with  cholera  germs ;  at  the  end  of  six  hours  they  were 
all  dead.  He  added  swarm  after  swarm  of  cholera  germs  to  this 
water  ;  within  the  six  hours  they  always  died,  to  the  last  sam- 
ple.    Repeatedly,  he  took  pure  Avell  water  which  was  barren 


500  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

of  animal  life,  and  put  into  it  a  few  cholera  germs ;  they  always 
began  to  propagate  at  once,  and  always  within  six  hours  they 
swarmed  —  and  were  numberable  hy  millions  upon  millions. 

For  ages  and  a^es  the  Hindoos  have  had  absolute  faith  that 
the  water  of  the  Ganges  was  absolutely  pure,  could  not  be 
defiled  by  any  contact  whatsoever,  and  infallibly  made  pure 
and  clean  whatsoever  thing  touched  it.  They  still  believe  it, 
and  that  is  why  they  bathe  in  it  and  drink  it,  caring  nothing 
for  its  seem  ing  filthiness  and  the  floating  corpses.  The  Hindoos 
have  been  laughed  at,  these  many  generations,  but  the  laugh- 
ter will  need  to  modify  itself  a  little  from  now  on.  How  did 
they  find  out  the  water's  secret  in  those  ancient  ages  ?  Had 
they  germ-scientists  then  %  We  do  not  know.  We  only  know 
that  they  had  a  civilization  long  before  we  emerged  from 
savagery.  But  to  return  to  where  I  was  before  ;  I  was  about 
to  speak  of  the  burning-ghat. 

They  do  not  burn  fakeers  —  those  revered  mendicants. 
They  are  so  holy  that  they  can  get  to  their  place  without  that 
sacrament,  provided  they  be  consigned  to  the  consecrating 
river.  We  saw  one  carried  to  mid-stream  and  thrown  over- 
board.    He  was  sandwiched  between  two  great  slabs  of  stone. 

We  lay  off  the  cremation-ghat  half  an  hour  and  saw  nine 
corpses  burned.  I  should  not  wish  to  see  any  more  of  it, 
unless  I  might  select  the  parties.  The  mourners  follow  the 
bier  through  the  town  and  down  to  the  ghat ;  then  the  bier- 
bearers  deliver  the  body  to  some  low-caste  natives  —  Doms — ■ 
and  the  mourners  turn  about  and  go  back  home.  I  heard  no 
crying  and  saw  no  tears,  there  was  no  ceremony  of  parting. 
Apparently,  these  expressions  of  grief  and  affection  are  reserved 
for  the  privacy  of  the  home.  The  dead  women  came  draped 
in  red,  the  men  in  white.  They  are  laid  in  the  water  at  the 
river's  edge  while  the  pyre  is  being  prepared. 

The  first  subject  was  a  man.     AVhen  the  Doms  unswathed 


WHERE   THEY   BURN   THE   DEAD. 


501 


him  to  wash  him,  he  proved  to  be  a  sturdily  built,  well-nour- 
ished and  handsome  old  gentleman,  with  not  a  sign  about  him 
to  suggest  that  he  had  ever  been  ill.  Dry  wood  was  brought 
and  built  up  into  a  loose  pile ;  the  corpse  was  laid  upon  it  and 
covered  over  with  fuel. 
Then  a  naked  holy  man 
who  was  sitting  on  high 
ground  a  little  distance 
away  began  to  talk  and 
shout  with  great  energy, 
and  he  kept  up  this  noise 
right  along.  It  may  have 
been  the  funeral  sermon, 
and  probably  was.  I  for- 
got to  say  that  one  of  the 
mourners  remained  behind 
when  the  others  went  away. 
This  was  the  dead  man's 
son,  a  boy  of  ten  or  twelve, 
brown  and  handsome,  grave 
and  self-possessed,  and 
clothed   in    flowing    white. 

He  was  there  to  burn  his  father.  He  was  given  a  torch,  and 
while  he  slowly  walked  seven  times  around  the  pyre  the 
naked  black  man  on  the  high  ground  poured  out  his  sermon 
more  clamorously  than  ever.  The  seventh  circuit  completed, 
the  boy  applied  the  torch  at  his  father's  head,  then  at  his  feet ; 
the  flames  sprang  briskly  up  with  a  sharp  crackling  noise,  and 
the  lad  went  away.  Hindoos  do  not  want  daughters,  because 
their  weddings  make  such  a  ruinous  expense  ;  but  they  want 
sons,  so  that  at  death  they  may  have  honorable  exit  from  the 
world  ;  and  there  is  no  honor  equal  to  the  honor  of  having 
one's  pyre  lighted  by  one's  son.     The  father  who  dies  sonless 


EXTRA    EXPENSE. 


502  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

is  in  a  grievous  situation  indeed,  and  is  pitied.  Life  being 
uncertain,  the  Hindoo  marries  while  he  is  still  a  boy,  in  the 
hope  that  he  will  have  a  son  ready  when  the  day  of  his  need 
shall  come.  But  if  he  have  no  son,  he  will  adopt  one.  This 
answers  every  purpose. 

Meantime  the  corpse  is  burning,  also  several  others.  It  is  a 
dismal  business.  The  stokers  did  not  sit  down  in  idleness,  but 
moved  briskly  about,  punching  up  the  fires  with  long  poles, 
and  now  and  then  adding  fuel.  Sometimes  they  hoisted  the 
half  of  a  skeleton  into  the  air,  then  slammed  it  down  and  beat 
it  with  the  pole,  breaking  it  up  so  that  it  would  burn  better. 
They  hoisted  skulls  up  in  the  same  way  and  banged  and 
battered  them.  The  sight  was  hard  to  bear;  it  would  have 
been  harder  if  the  mourners  had  stayed  to  witness  it.  I  had 
but  a  moderate  desire  to  see  a  cremation,  so  it  was  soon  satisfied. 
For  sanitary  reasons  it  would  be  well  if  cremation  were  univer- 
sal ;  but  this  form  is  revolting,  and  not  to  be  recommended. 

The  fire  used  is  sacred,  of  course  —  for  there  is  money  in  it. 
Ordinary  fire  is  forbidden ;  there  is  no  mone}r  in  it.  I  was 
told  that  this  sacred  fire  is  all  furnished  by  one  person,  and 
that  he  has  a  monopoly  of  it  and  charges  a  good  price  for  it. 
Sometimes  a  rich  mourner  pays  a  thousand  rupees  for  it.  To 
get  to  paradise  from  India  is  an  expensive  thing.  Every  de- 
tail connected  with  the  matter  costs  something,  and  helps  to 
fatten  a  priest.  I  suppose  it  is  quite  safe  to  conclude  that  that 
fire-bug  is  in  holy  orders. 

Close  to  the  cremation-ground  stand  a  few  time-worn  stones 
which  are  remembrances  of  the  suttee.  Each  has  a  rough 
carving  upon  it,  representing  a  man  and  a  woman  standing  or 
walking  hand  in  hand,  and  marks  the  spot  where  a  widow 
went  to  her  death  by  fire  in  the  days  when  the  suttee  nourished. 
Mr.  Parker  said  that  widows  would  burn  themselves  now 
if  the  government  would  allow  it.     The  family  that  can  point 


IDOLS   AND  MONKEYS. 


503 


to  one  of  these  little  memorials  and  say  : 
"She  who  burned  herself  there  was  an 
ancestress  of  ours,"  is  envied. 

It  is  a  curious  people.     With  them,  all 
life  seems  to  be  sacred  except  human  life. 
Even  the  life  of  vermin  is  sacred,  and  must 
not  be  taken.     The  good  Jain  wipes  off  a 
seat  before  using  it,  lest  he  cause  the  death 
of  some  valueless  insect  by  sitting  down  on 
it.     It  grieves  him  to  have  to  drink  water. 
because  the  provisions  in  his  stomach  may 
not   agree  with  the    microbes.     Yet 
India     invented    Thuggery    and    the 
Suttee.     India  is  a  hard  country  to 
understand. 

We  went  to  the  temple  of  the 
Thug  goddess,  Bhowanee,  or  Kali,  or 
Dure;a.  She  has  these  names  and 
others.  She  is  the  only  god  to  whom 
living  sacrifices  are  made.  Goats  are 
sacrificed  to  her.  Monkeys  would 
be  cheaper.  There  are  plenty  of  them 
about  the  place.  Being  sacred,  they 
make  themselves  very  free,  and  scram- 
ble around  wherever  they  please.  The 
temple  and  its  porch  are  beautifully 
carved,  but  this  is  not  the  case  with 
the  idol.  Bho- 
wanee is  not 
pleasant  to  look 
at.      She    has   a 

silver  face,    and  ^  a    projecting   swollen 

tongue  painted  a  deep  red.     She  wears  a  necklace  of  skulls. 


MONKEY    ANTICS. 


504  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

In  fact,  none  of  the  idols  in  Benares  are  handsome  or 
attractive.  And  what  a  swarm  of  them  there  is !  The  town 
is  a  vast  museum  of  idols  —  and  all  of  them  crude,  misshapen, 
and  ugly.  They  flock  through  one's  dreams  at  night,  a  wild 
mob  of  nightmares.  When  you  get  tired  of  them  in  the 
temples  and  take  a  trip  on  the  river,  you  find  idol  giants, 
flashily  painted,  stretched  out  side  by  side  on  the  shore.  And 
apparently  wherever  there  is  room  for  one  more  lingam,  a 
lingam  is  there.  If  Vishnu  had  foreseen  what  his  town  was 
going  to  be,  he  would  have  called  it  Idolville  or  Lingamburg. 

The  most  conspicuous  feature  of  Benares  is  the  pair  of 
slender  white  minarets  which  tower  like  masts  from  the  great 
Mosque  of  Aurangzeb.  They  seem  to  be  always  in  sight,  from 
everywhere,  those  airy,  graceful,  inspiring  things.  But  masts 
is  not  the  right  word,  for  masts  have  a  perceptible  taper,  while 
these  minarets  have  not.  They  are  142  feet  high,  and  only  8| 
feet  in  diameter  at  the  base,  and  7£  at  the  summit  —  scarcely 
any  taper  at  all.  These  are  the  proportions  of  a  candle  ;  and 
fair  and  fairy-like  candles  these  are.  \Vill  be,  anyway,  some 
day,  when  the  Christians  inherit  them  and  top  them  with  the 
electric  light.  There  is  a  great  view  from  up  there  —  a  wonder- 
ful view.  A  large  gray  monkey  was  part  of  it,  and  damaged 
it.  A  monkey  has  no  judgment.  This  one  was  skipping  about 
the  upper  great  heights  of  the  mosque  —  skipping  across  empty 
yawning  intervals  which  were  almost  too  wide  for  him,  and 
which  he  only  just  barely  cleared,  each  time,  by  the  skin  of  his 
teeth.  He  got  me  so  nervous  that  I  couldn't  look  at  the  view. 
I  couldn't  look  at  anything  but  him.  Every  time  he  went 
sailing  over  one  of  those  abysses  my  breath  stood  still,  and 
when  he  grabbed  for  the  perch  he  was  going  for,  I  grabbed 
too,  in  sympathy.  And  he  was  perfectly  indifferent,  perfectly 
unconcerned,  and  I  did  all  the  panting  myself.  He  came 
within  an  ace  of  losing  his  life  a  dozen  times,  and  I  was  so 
troubled  about  him  that  I  would  have  shot  him  if  I  had  had 


THE   RECKLESS  MONKEY.  505 

anything- to  do  it  with.  But  I  strongly  recommend  the  view. 
There  is  more  monkey  than  view,  and  there  is  always  going  to 
be  more  monkey  while  that  idiot  survives,  but  what  view  you 
get  is  superb.  All  Benares,  the  river,  and  the  region  round 
about  are  spread  before  you.    Take  a  gun,  and  look  at  the  view. 

The  next  thing  I  saw  was  more  reposeful.  It  was  a  new 
kind  of  art.  It  was  a  picture  painted  on  water.  It  was  done 
by  a  native.  He  sprinkled  fine  dust  of  various  colors  on  the 
still  surface  of  a  basin  of  water,  and  out  of  these  sprinklings  a 
dainty  and  pretty  picture  gradually  grew,  a  picture  which 
a  breath  could  destroy.  Somehow  it  was  impressive,  after  so 
much  broAvsing  among  massive  and  battered  and  decaying 
fanes  that  rest  upon  ruins,  and  those  ruins  upon  still  other 
ruins,  and  those  upon  still  others  again.  It  was  a  sermon, 
an  allegory,  a  symbol  of  Instability.  Those  creations  in 
stone  were  only  a  kind  of  water  pictures,  after  all. 

A  prominent  episode  in  the  Indian  career  of  Warren  Hast- 
ings had  Benares  for  its  theater.  Wherever  that  extraordi- 
nary man  set  his  foot,  he  left  his  mark.  He  came  to  Benares 
in  1781  to  collect  a  fine  of  £500,000  which  he  had  levied  upon 
its  Rajah,  Cheit  Singh,  on  behalf  of  the  East  India  Company. 
Hastings  was  a  long  way  from  home  and  help.  There  were, 
probably,  not  a  dozen  Englishmen  within  reach  ;  the  Rajah 
was  in  his  fort  with  his  myriads  around  him.  But  no  matter. 
From  his  little  camp  in  a  neighboring  garden,  Hastings  sent  a 
party  to  arrest  the  sovereign.  He  sent  on  this  daring  mission 
a  couple  of  hundred  native  soldiers  —  sepoys  —  under  com- 
mand of  three  young  English  lieutenants.  The  Rajah  sub- 
mitted without  a  word.  The  incident  lights  up  the  Indian 
situation  electricallv,  and  gives  one  a  vivid  sense  of  the  strides 
which  the  English  had  made  and  the  mastership  they  had 
acquired  in  the  land  since  the  date  of  Olive's  great  victory. 
In  a  quarter  of  a  century,  from  being  nobodies,  and  feared  by 
none,  they  were  become  confessed  lords  and  masters,  feared  bv 


506  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

all,  sovereigns  included,  and  served  by  all,  sovereigns  included. 
It  makes  the  fairy  tales  sound  true.  The  English  had  not 
been  afraid  to  enlist  native  soldiers  to  light  against  their  own 
people  and  keep  them  obedient.  And  now  Hastings  was  not 
afraid  to  come  away  out  to  this  remote  place  with  a  handful 
of  such  soldiers  and  send  them  to  arrest  a  native  sovereign. 

The  lieutenants  imprisoned  the  Rajah  in  his  own  fort.  It 
was  beautiful,  the  pluckiness  of  it,  the  impudence  of  it.  The 
arrest  enraged  the  Rajah's  people,  and  all  Benares  came 
storming  about  the  place  and  threatening  vengeance.  And 
yet,  but  for  an  accident,  nothing  important  would  have 
resulted,  perhaps.  The  mob  found  out  a  most  strange  thing, 
an  almost  incredible  thing  —  that  this  handful  of  soldiers  had 
come  on  this  hardy  errand  with  empty  guns  and  no  ammuni- 
tion. This  has  been  attributed  to  thoughtlessness,  but  it  could 
hardly  have  been  that,  for  in  such  large  emergencies  as  this, 
intelligent  people  do  think.  It  must  have  been  indifference, 
an  over-confidence  born  of  the  proved  submissiveness  of  the 
native  character,  when  confronted  by  even  one  or  two  stern 
Britons  in  their  war  paint.  But,  however  that  may  be,  it  was 
a  fatal  discovery  that  the  mob  had  made.  They  were  full  of 
courage,  now,  and  they  broke  into  the  fort  and  massacred  the 
helpless  soldiers  and  their  officers.  Hastings  escaped  from 
Benares  by  night  and  got  safely  away,  leaving  the  principality 
in  a  state  of  wild  insurrection  ;  but  he  was  back  again  within 
the  month,  and  quieted  it  down  in  his  prompt  and  virile  way, 
and  took  the  Rajah's  throne  away  from  him  and  gave  it  to 
another  man.  He  was  a  capable  kind  of  person  was  Warren 
Hastings.  This  was  the  onlv  time  he  was  ever  out  of  ammu- 
nition.  Some  of  his  acts  have  left  stains  upon  his  name  which 
can  never  be  washed  away,  but  he  saved  to  England  the 
Indian  Empire,  and  that  was  the  best  service  that  was  ever 
done  to  the  Indians  themselves,  those  wretched  heirs  of  a  hun- 
dred centuries  of  pitiless  oppression  and  abuse. 


CHAPTER   LIII. 

True  irreverence  is  disrespect  for  another  man's  god. 

—  PudiV nhead  WttsmCs  New  Calendar. 

IT  was  in  Benares  that  I  saw  another  living  god.  That 
makes  two.  I  believe  I  have  seen  most  of  the  greater  and 
lesser  wonders  of  the  world,  but  I  do  not  remember  that 
any  of  them  interested  me  so  overwhelmingly  as  did  that  pair 
of  gods. 

When  I  try  to  account  for  this  effect  I  find  no  difficulty 
about  it.  I  find  that,  as  a  rule,  when  a  thing  is  a  wonder  to 
us  it  is  not  because  of  what  we  see  in  it,  but  because  of  what 
others  have  seen  in  it.  We  get  almost  all  our  wonders  at  sec- 
ond hand.  We  are  eager  to  see  any  celebrated  thing  —  and  we 
never  fail  of  our  reward  ;  just  the  deep  privilege  of  gazing 
upon  an  object  which  has  stirred  the  enthusiasm  or  evoked  the 
reverence  or  affection  or  admiration  of  multitudes  of  our  race 
is  a  thing  which  we  value  ;  we  are  profoundly  glad  that  we 
have  seen  it,  we  are  permanently  enriched  from  having  seen 
it,  we  would  not  part  with  the  memory  of  that  experience  for 
a  great  price.  And  yet  that  very  spectacle  may  be  the  Taj. 
You  cannot  keep  your  enthusiasms  down,  you  cannot  keep 
your  emotions  within  bounds  when  that  soaring  bubble  of 
marble  breaks  upon  your  view.  But  these  are  not  your  enthu- 
siasms and  emotions  —  they  are  the  accumulated  emotions  and 
enthusiasms  of  a  thousand  fervid  writers,  who  have  been  slowly 
and  steadily  storing  them  up  in  your  heart  day  by  day  and 
year  by  year  all  your  life;  and  now  they  burst  out  in  a  flood 
and  overwhelm  you  ;  and  you  could  not  be  a  whit  happier  if 

( 507  ) 


508  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

they  were  your  very  own.  By  and  by  you  sober  down,  and  then 
you  perceive  that  you  have  been  drunk  on  the  smell  of  some- 
body else's  cork.  For  ever  and  ever  the  memory  of  my  dis- 
tant first  glimpse  of  the  Taj  will  compensate  me  for  creeping 
around  the  globe  to  have  that  great  privilege. 

But  the  Taj  --  with  all  your  inflation  of  delusive  emotions, 
acquired  at  second-hand  from  people  to  whom  in  the  major  it  v 
of  cases  they  were  also  delusions  acquired  at  second-hand  —  a 
thing  which  you  fortunately  did  not  think  of  or  it  might  have 
made  you  doubtful  of  what  you  imagined  were  your  own  — 
what  is  the  Taj  as  a  marvel,  a  spectacle  and  an  uplifting  and 
overpowering  wonder,  compared  with  a  living,  breathing, 
speaking  personage  whom  several  millions  of  human  beings 
devoutly  and  sincerely  and  unquestioningly  believe  to  be  a 
God,  and  humbly  and  gratefully  worship  as  a  God  ? 

He  was  sixty  years  old  when  I  saw  him.  He  is  called  Sri 
108  Swami  Bhaskarananda  Saraswati.  That  is  one  form  of  it. 
I  think  that  that  is  what  you  would  call  him  in  speaking  to 
him  —  because  it  is  short.  But  you  would  use  more  of  his  name 
in  addressing  a  letter  to  him ;  courtesy  would  require  this.  Even 
then  you  would  not  have  to  use  all  of  it,  but  only  this  much  : 

Sri  108  Matparamahansapaiiv  'ajakacharyaswamibhasTiar- 
anandasaraswati. 

You  do  not  put  "  Esq."  after  it,  for  that  is  not  necessary. 
The  word  which  opens  the  volley  is  itself  a  title  of  honor  — 
"  Sri."  The  "  108  "  stands  for  the  rest  of  his  names,  I  believe. 
Vishnu  has  108  names  which  he  does  not  use  in  business,  and 
no  doubt  it  is  a  custom  of  gods  and  a  privilege  sacred  to  their 
order  to  keep  108  extra  ones  in  stock.  Just  the  restricted 
name  set  down  above  is  a  handsome  property,  without  the  108. 
Bv  rav  count  it  has  58  letters  in  it.     This  removes  the  lonjr 

XJ  XJ  © 

German  words  from  competition ;  they  are  permanently  out  of 
the  race. 


SRI   108,    UTTERLY   PERFECT.  500 

Sri  108  S.  B.  Saraswati  has  attained  to  what  among  the 
Hindoos  is  called  the  "  state  of  perfection."  It  is  a  state  which 
other  Hindoos  reach  by  being-  born  again  and  again,  and  over 
and  over  again  into  this  world,  through  one  re-incarnation 
after  another  —  a  tiresome  long  job  covering  centuries  and 
decades  of  centuries,  and  one  that  is  full  of  risks,  too,  like 
the  accident  of  dying  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  Ganges  some 
time  or  other  and  waking  up  in  the  form  of  an  ass,  with  a  fresh 
start  necessary  and  the  numerous  trips  to  be  made  all  over 
again.  But  in  reaching  perfection,  Sri  10S  S.  B.  S.  has  escaped 
all  that.  He  is  no  longer  a  part  or  a  feature  of  this  world  ;  his 
substance  has  changed,  all  earthiness  has  departed  out  of  it ; 
he  is  utterly  holy,  utterly  pure ;  nothing  can  desecrate  this 
holiness  or  stain  this  purity ;  he  is  no  longer  of  the  earth,  its 
concerns  are  matters  foreign  to  him,  its  pains  and  griefs  and 
troubles  cannot  reach  him.  When  he  dies,  Nirvana  is  his  ;  he 
will  be  abscibe  1  into  the  substance  of  the  Supreme  Deity  and 
be  at  peace  forever. 

The  Hindoo  Scriptures  point  out  how  this  state  is  to  be 
reached,  but  it  is  only  once  in  a  thousand  years,  perhaps,  that 
candidate  accomplishes  it.  This  one  has  traversed  the  course 
required,  stage  by  stage,  from  the  beginning  to  the  end,  and 
now  has  nothing  left  to  do  but  wait  for  the  call  which  shall 
release  him  from  a  world  in  which  he  has  now  no  part  nor  lot. 
First,  he  passed  through  the  student  stage,  and  became  learned 
in  the  holy  books.  Next  he  became  citizen,  householder,  hus- 
band, and  father.  That  was  the  required  second  stage.  Then 
—  like  John  Banyan's  Christian  —  he  bade  perpetual  good-bye 
to  his  family,  as  required,  and  went  wandering  away.  He 
went  far  into  the  desert  and  served  a  term  as  hermit.  Next, 
he  became  a  beggar,  "  in  accordance  with  the  rites  laid  down 
in  the  Scriptures,"  and  wandered  about  India  eating  the  bread 
of  mendicancy.     A  quarter  of  a  century  ago  he  reached  the 


510  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

stage  of  purity.  This  needs  no  garment ;  its  symbol  is  nudity ; 
he  discarded  the  waist-cloth  which  he  had  previously  worn. 
He  coultl  resume  it  now  if  he  chose,  for  neither  that  nor  any 
other  contact  can  defile  him  ;  but  he  does  not  choose. 

There  are  several  other  stages,  I  believe,  but  I  do  not  re- 
member what  they  are.  But  he  has  been  through  them. 
Throughout  the  long  course  he  was  perfecting  himself  in  holy 
learnino-,  and  writing  commentaries  upon  the  sacred  books. 
He  was  also  meditating  upon  Brahma,  and  he  does  that  now. 

White  marble  relief-portraits  of  him  are  sold  all  about 
India,  He  lives  in  a  good  house  in  a  noble  great  garden  in 
Benares,  all  meet  and  proper  to  his  stupendous  rank.  Neces- 
sarily he  does  not  go  abroad  in  the  streets.  Deities  would 
never  be  able  to  move  about  handily  in  any  country.  If  one 
whom  we  recognized  and  adored  as  a  god  should  go  abroad  in 
our  streets,  and  the  day  it  was  to  happen  were  known,  all 
traffic  would  be  blocked  and  business  would  come  to  a  stand- 
still. 

This  god  is  comfortably  housed,  and  yet  modestly,  all 
things  considered,  for  if  he  wanted  to  live  in  a  palace  he  would 
only  need  to  speak  and  his  worshipers  would  gladly  build  it, 
Sometimes  he  sees  devotees  for  a  moment,  and  comforts  them 
and  blesses  them,  and  they  kiss  his  feet  and  go  away  happy. 
Bank  is  nothing  to  him,  he  being  a  god.  To  him  all  men  are 
alike.  He  sees  whom  he  pleases  and  denies  himself  to  whom 
he  pleases.  Sometimes  he  sees  a  prince  and  denies  himself  to 
a  pauper  ;  at  other  times  he  receives  the  pauper  and  turns  the 
prince  away.  However,  he  does  not  receive  many  of  either 
class.  He  has  to  husband  his  time  for  his  meditations.  I 
think  he  would  receive  Rev.  Mr.  Parker  at  any  time.  I  think 
he  is  sorry  for  Mr.  Parker,  and  I  think  Mr.  Parker  is  sorry  for 
him ;   and  no  doubt  this  compassion  is  good  for  both  of  them. 

When  we  arrived  we  had  to  stand  around  in  the  garden  a 


A   CALL   UPON   SRI.  ;,  1  1 

little  while  and  wait,  and  the  outlook  was  not  good,  for  he  had 
been  turning  away  Maharajas  that  day  and  receiving  only  the 
riff-raff,  and  Ave  belonged  in  between,  somewhere.  But  pres- 
ently, a  servant  came  out  saying  it  was  all  right,  he  was  coming. 

And  sure  enough,  he  came,  and  I  saw  him  —  that  object  of 
the  worship  of  millions.  It  was  a  strange  sensation,  and 
thrilling.  I  wish  I  could  feel  it  stream  through  my  veins 
again.  And  yet,  to  me  he  was  not  a  god,  he  was  only  a  Taj. 
The  thrill  was  not  my  thrill,  but  had  come  to  me  secondhand 
from  those  invisible  millions  of  believers.  By  a  hand-shake 
with  their  god  I  had  "•round-circuited  their  wire  and  got  their 
monster  battery's  whole  charge. 

He  was  tall  and  slender,  indeed  emaciated.  He  had  a  clean 
cut  and  conspicuously  intellectual  face,  and  a  deep  and  kindly 
eye.  He  looked  many  years  older  than  he  really  was,  but 
much  study  and  meditation  and  fasting  and  prayer,  with  the 
arid  life  he  had  led  as  hermit  and  beggar,  could  account  for 
that.  He  is  wholly  nude  when  he  receives  natives,  of  whatever 
rank  they  may  be,  but  he  had  white  cloth  around  his  loins  now, 
a  concession  to  Mr.  Parker's  Europe  prejudices,  no  doubt. 

As  soon  as  I  had  sobered  down  a  little  we  got  along  verv 
well  together,  and  I  found  him  a  most  pleasant  and  friendly 
deity.  He  had  heard  a  deal  about  Chicago,  and  showed  a 
quite  remarkable  interest  in  it,  for  a  god.  It  all  came  of  the 
World's  Fair  and  the  Congress  of  Religions.  If  India  knows 
about  nothing  else  American,  she  knows  about  those,  and  will 
keep  them  in  mind  one  while. 

He  proposed  an  exchange  of  autographs,  a  delicate  atten- 
tion which  made  me  believe  in  him,  but  I  had  been  having  my 
doubts  before.  He  wrote  his  in  his  book,  and  I  have  a  rever- 
ent regard  for  that  book,  though  the  words  run  from  right  to 
left,  and  so  I  can't  read  it.  It  was  a  mistake  to  print  in  that 
way.      It  contains  his  voluminous  comments  on  the  Hindoo 


512  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

holy  writings,  and  if  I  could  make  them  out  I  would  try  for 
perfection  myself.  I  gave  him  a  copy  of  Huckleberry  Finn. 
I  thought  it  might  rest  him  up  a  little  to  mix  it  in  along  with 
his  meditations  on  Brahma,  for  he  looked  tired,  and  I  knew 
that  if  it  didn't  do  him  any  good  it  wouldn't  do  him  any  harm. 

m^r|[?w<nRqrcfrn£rs7sr  i 


Sri  J  08  Matparamahansaparivra- 

jakacharyaswamibhaskara- 

nandasaraswati,  sishya 

Mina  Bahadur  Rana 

page  fkom  Bahadur's  book. 
He  has  a  scholar  meditating  under  him  —  Mina  Bahadur 
Tiana —  but  we  did  not  see  him.  He  wears  clothes  and  is 
very  imperfect.  He  has  written  a  little  pamphlet  about  his 
master,  and  I  have  that.  It  contains  a  wood-cut  of  the  master 
and  himself  seated  on  a  rug  in  the  garden.  The  portrait  of 
the  master  is  very  good  indeed.  The  posture  is  exactly  that 
which  Brahma  himself  affects,  and  it  requires  long  arms  and 


MINA  BAHADUR   RANA.  513 

limber  leg's,  and  can  be  accumulated  only  by  gods  and  the  india- 
rubber  man.  There  is  a  life-size  marble  relief  of  Shri  1  <  >8,  S.B.S. 
in  the  garden.     It  represents  him  in  this  same  posture. 

Dear  me  !     It  is  a  strange 
world.     Particularly  the  Indian     |  ,  ^ . , 

division  of  it.     This  pupil,  Mina     I        AN  U B H U T I V I V A R A N  A D  A R  SA 

N  bv  i 

Bahadur  Rana,  is  not  a  com-     |  w  m  Hatparamahamap<lriurajahachttrya.  | 

llionillace     person,     bllt     a     mail       1  swdmibhasharanandasmasmat,.  # 

11  £E  WITH  A  Gl.u&s  CALLED  ^ 

of  distinguished  capacities  and     |  balabodhiimi  | 

attainments,    and.    apparently,     &  "1"*™,''l'.„  „  A  „.      ? 

11  •  |  MINABAHADURRANA| 

he  had  a  fine  worldly  career  in     '§  roil**.  »»*«»«<» .>•«««...«.  % 

^  *  BY  ORDER  OF  BIS  SON  * 

front  of  him.     He  was  serving-    $      hemawkrama  rana  bahadur 

°  K  j* 

the    Nepal   Government    in    a    1  - 

high  capacity  at  the  Court  of     s    By  order  of  Pandit  Gopee  N»th  Patii«k,    $ 

,  S  Printed  by  Jadava  Niith  Palbak,  i 

the   V  iceroy   of   India,  twenty     ^  Lig\t  pre„. 

ii  11^  ls93-  4- 

vears   ago.     lie    was    an    able    i  + 

man,  educated,  a  thinker,  a  man 

TITLE   PAGE   OF  BAHADUR'S  BOOK. 

of  property.     But  the  longing 

to  devote  himself  to  a  religious  life  came  upon  him,  and  he 
resigned  his  place,  turned  his  back  upon  the  vanities  and  com- 
forts of  the  world,  and  went  away  into  the  solitudes  to  live  in 
a  hut  and  study  the  sacred  writings  and  meditate  upon  virtue 
and  holiness  and  seek  to  attain  them.  This  sort  of  religion 
resembles  ours.  Christ  recommended  the  rich  to  give  away 
all  their  property  and  follow  Him  in  poverty,  not  in  worldly 
comfort.  American  and  English  millionaires  do  it  every 
day,  and  thus  verify  and  confirm  to  the  world  the  tremend- 
ous  forces  that  lie  in  religion.  Yet  many  people  scoff  at 
them  for  this  loyalty  to  duty,  and  many  will  scoff  at  Mina 
Bahadur  Rana  and  call  him  a  crank.  Like  many  Christians 
of  great  character  and  intellect,  he  has  made  the  study 
of  his  Scriptures  and  the  writing  of  books  of  commentaries 
33 


514  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR 

upon  them  the  loving  labor  of  his  life.  Like  them,  he  has 
believed  that  his  was  not  an  idle  and  foolish  waste  of  his  life, 
but  a  most  worthy  and  honorable  employment  of  it.  Yet, 
there  are  many  people  who  will  see  in  those  others,  men 
worthy  of  homage  and  deep  reverence,  but  in  him  merely  a 
crank.  But  I  shall  not.  He  has  my  reverence.  And  I  don't 
offer  it  as  a  common  thing  and  poor,  but  as  an  unusual  thing 
and  of  value.  The  ordinary  reverence,  the  reverence  defined 
and  explained  by  the  dictionary  costs  nothing.  Keverence 
for  one's  own  sacred  things  —  parents,  religion,  flag,  laws,  and 
respect  for  one's  own  beliefs  —  these  are  feelings  which  we 
cannot  even  help.  They  come  natural  to  us;  they  are  invol- 
untary, like  breathing.  There  is  no  persona]  merit  in  breath- 
ing. But  the  reverence  which  is  difficult,  and  which  has  per- 
sonal merit  in  it,  is  the  respect  which  you  pay,  without  com- 
pulsion, to  the  political  or  religious  attitude  of  a  man  whose 
beliefs  are  not  yours.  You  can't  revere  his  gods  or  his  politics, 
and  no  one  expects  you  to  do  that,  but  you  could  respect  his 
belief  in  them  if  you  tried  hard  enough ;  and  you  could 
respect  him,  too,  if  you  tried  hard  enough.  But  it  is  very, 
very  difficult  ;  it  is  next  to  impossible,  and  so  Ave  hardly  ever 
try.  If  the  man  doesn't  believe  as  we  do,  we  s;iv  he  is  a 
crank,  and  that  settles  it.  I  mean  it  does  nowadays,  because 
now  we  can't  burn  him. 

AVe  are  always  canting  about  people's  u irreverence,"  always 
charging  this  offense  upon  somebody  or  other,  and  thereby 
intimating  that  we  are  better  than  that  person  and  do  not 
commit  that  offense  ourselves.  Whenever  we  do  this  we  are; 
in  a  lying  attitude,  and  our  speech  is  cant ;  for  none  of  us  are 
reverent --in  a  meritorious  way  ;  deep  down  in  our  hearts  we 
are  all  irreverent.  There  is  probably  not  a  single  exception  to 
this  rule  in  the  earth.  There  is  probably  not  one  person  whose 
reverence  rises  higher  than  respect  for  his  own  sacred  things; 


REVERENCE  AND  IRREVERENCE.  515 

and  therefore,  it  is  not  a  thing-  to  boast  about  and  be  proud  of, 
since  the  most  degraded  savage  has  that  and,  like  the  best  of 
us,  has  nothing  higher.  To  speak  plainly,  we  despise  all  rev- 
erences and  all  objects  of  reverence  which  are  outside  the  pale 
of  our  own  list  of  sacred  things.  And  yet,  with  strange  incon- 
sistency, we  are  shocked  when  other  people  despise  and  defile 
the  things  which  are  holy  to  us.  Suppose  we  should  meet  with 
a  paragraph  like  the  following,  in  the  newspapers : 

"  Yesterday  a  visiting  party  of  the  British  nobility  had  a 
picnic  at  Mount  Vernon,  and  in  the  tomb  of  Washington  they 
ate  their  luncheon,  sang  popular  songs,  played  games,  and 
danced  waltzes  and  polkas." 

Should  we  be  shocked  '.  Should  we  feel  outraged?  Should 
we  be  amazed  '.  Should  we  call  the  performance  a  desecra- 
tion '(  Yes,  that  would  all  happen.  We  should  denounce 
those  people  in  round  terms,  and  call  them  hard  names. 

And  suppose  we  found  this  paragraph  in  the  newspapers : 

"  Yesterday  a  visiting  party  of  American  pork-millionaires 
had  a  picnic  in  Westminster  Abbey,  and  in  that  sacred  place 
they  ate  their  luncheon,  sang  popular  songs,  played  games,  and 
danced  waltzes  and  polkas." 

Would  the  English  be  shocked  i  Would  they  feel  out- 
raged?  Would  they  be  amazed?  Would  they  call  the  per- 
formance a  desecration ?  That  would  all  happen.  The  pork- 
millionaires  would  be  denounced  in  round  terms ;  they  would 
be  called  hard  names. 

In  the  tomb  at  Mount  Vernon  lie  the  ashes  of  America's 
most  honored  son :  in  the  Abbey,  the  ashes  of  England's 
greatest  dead  ;  the  tomb  of  tombs,  the  costliest  in  the  earth, 
the  wonder  of  the  world,  the  Taj,  was  built  by  a  great  Em- 
peror to  honor  the  memory  of  a  perfect  wife  and  perfect 
mother,  one  in  whom  there  was  no  spot  or  blemish,  whose  love 
was  his  stay  and  support,  whose  life  was  the  light  of  the  world 


516 


FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 


to  liim 


in  it  her  ashes  lie,  and  to  the  Mohammedan  millions  of 

India  it  is  a  holy  place ; 
to  them  it  is  what  Mount 
Vernon  is  to  Americans, 
it  is  what  the  Abbey  is 
to  the  English. 

Major  Sleeman  wrote 
forty  or  fifty  years  ago 
(the  italics  are  mine): 


"I  would  here  enter  my 
humble  protest  against  thequad- 
rille  and  lunch  parties  which  are 
sometimes  given  to  European 
ladies  _  and  gentlemen  of  the 
station  at  this  imperial  tomb; 
drinking  and  dancing  are  no 
doubt  very  good  things  in  their 
season,  but  they  are  sadly  out 
of  place  in  a  sepulchre." 

Were  there  any  Amer- 
icans among  those  lunch 


A    PICNIC    IN   A   SEPULCHRE. 


parties  \  If  they  were  in- 
vited, there  were. 

If  my  imagined  lunch-parties  in  Westminster  and  the  tomb 
of  Washington  should  take  place,  the  incident  would  cause  a 
vast  outbreak  of  bitter  eloquence  about  Barbarism  and  Irrever- 
ence;  and  it  wotdd  come  front  two  sets  of  people  who  would 
go  next  day  and  dance  in  the  Taj  if  they  had  a  chance. 

As  we  took  our  leave  of  the  Benares  god  and  started  away 
Ave  noticed  a  group  of  natives  waiting  respectfully  just  within 
the  gate  —  a  Rajah  from  somewhere  in  India,  and  some  people 
of  lesser  consequence.  The  god  beckoned  them  to  come,  and 
as  we  passed  out  the  Rajah  was  kneeling  and  reverently  kiss- 
ing his  sacred  feet. 

If  Barnum--but  Barnum's  ambitions  are  at  rest.  This 
god  will  remain  in  the  holy  peace  and  seclusion  of  his  garden, 
undisturbed.  Barnum  could  not  have  gotten  him,  anyway. 
Still,  he  would  have  found  a  substitute  that  would  answer. 


CHAPTER  LIV. 

Do  not  undervalue  the  headache.  While  it  is  at  its  sharpest  it  seems  a  bad 
investment ;  but  when  relief  begins,  the  unexpired  remainder  i-  worth  £4  a  minute. 

— Padd'nhead  Wilson's  Xew  Valendar. 

A  COMFORTABLE  railway  journey  of  seventeen  and  a 
half  hours  brought  us  to  the  capital  of  India,  which  is 
likewise  the  capital  of  Bengal  —  Calcutta.  Like  Bom- 
bay, it  has  a  population  of  nearly  a  million  natives  and  a  small 
gathering  of  white  people.  It  is  a  huge  city  and  tine,  and  is 
called  the  City  of  Palaces.  It  is  rich  in  historical  memories; 
rich  in  British  achievement  —  military,  political,  commercial; 
rich  in  the  results  of  the  miracles  done  by  that  brace  of 
mighty  magicians,  ('live  and  Hastings.  And  has  a  cloud- 
kissing  monument  to  one  Ochterlony. 

It  is  a  fluted  candlestick  250  feet  high.  This  lingam  is  the 
only  large  monument  in  Calcutta.  I  believe.  It  is  a  fine 
ornament,  and  will  keep  Ochterlony  in  mind. 

Wherever  you  are,  in  Calcutta,  ami  for  miles  around,  you 
can  see  it;  and  always  when  you  see  it  you  think  of  Ochter- 
lony. And  so  there  is  not  an  hour  in  the  day  that  you  do  not 
think  of  Ochterlony  and  wonder  who  lie  was.  It  is  good  that 
('live  cannot  come  back,  for  he  would  think  it  was  for  Plassey ; 
and  then  that  great  spirit  would  be  wounded  when  the  revelation 
came  that  it  was  not.  Olive  would  find  out  that  it  was  for 
Ochterlony;  and  he  would  think  Ochterlony  was  a  battle. 
And  he  would  think  it  was  a  great  one,  too.  and  he  would  say, 
"With  three  thousand  I  whipped  sixty  thousand  and  founded 
the  Empire  —  and  there  is  no  monument;  this  other  soldier  must 

have  whipped  a  billion  with  a  dozen  and  saved  the  world.*' 

(517) 


518  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

But  he  would  be  mistaken.  Ochterlony  was  a  man,  not  a 
battle.  And  he  did  good  and  honorable  service,  too ;  as  good 
and  honorable  service  as  has  been  done  in  India  by  seventy- 
five  or  a  hundred  other  Englishmen  of  courage,  rectitude,  and 
distinguished  capacity.  For  India  has  been  a  fertile  breeding- 
ground  of  such  men,  and  remains  so;  great  men,  both  in  war 
and  in  the  civil  service,  and  as  modest  as  great.  But  thev 
have  no  monuments,  and  were  not  expecting  any.  Ochter- 
lony could  not  have  been  expecting  one,  and  it  is  not  at  all 
likely  that  he  desired  one  —  certainly  not  until  Clive  and 
Hastings  should  be  supplied.  Every  day  Clive  and  Hastings 
lean  on  the  battlements  of  heaven  and  look  down  and  wonder 
which  of  the  two  the  monument  is  for;  and  they  fret  and 
worry  because  they  cannot  find  out,  and  so  the  peace  of 
heaven  is  spoiled  for  them  and  lost.  But  not  for  Ochterlonv. 
Ochterlony  is  not  troubled.  He  doesn't  suspect  that  it  is  his 
monument.  Heaven  is  sweet  and  peaceful  to  him.  There  is  a 
sort  of  unfairness  about  it  all. 

Indeed,  if  monuments  were  always  given  in  India  for  high 
achievements,  duty  straitly  performed,  and  smirchless  records, 
the  landscape  would  be  monotonous  with  them.  The  handful 
of  English  in  India  govern  the  Indian  myriads  with  apparent 
ease,  and  without  noticeable  friction,  through  tact,  training, 
and  distinguished  administrative  ability,  reinforced  by  just  and 
liberal  laws  —  and  by  keeping  their  word  to  the  native  when- 
ever they  give  it. 

England  is  far  from  India  and  knows  little  about  the 
eminent  services  performed  by  her  servants  there,  for  it  is  the 
newspaper  correspondent  who  makes  fame,  and  he  is  not  sent 
to  India  but  to  the  continent,  to  report  the  doings  of  the 
princelets  and  the  dukelets,  and  where  they  are  visiting  and 
whom  they  are  marrying.  Often  a  British  official  spends 
thirty  or  forty  years  in  India,  climbing  from  grade  to  grade 


[MPRESSIONS   OF   FOREIGN    LANDS.  519 

by  services  which  would  make  him  celebrated  any  where  else, 
and  finishes  as  a  vice-sovereign,  governing  a  great  realm  and 
millions  of  subjects ;  then  he  goes  home  to  England  substanti- 
ally unknown  and  unheard  of,  and  settles  down  in  some 
modest  corner,  and  is  as  one  extinguished.  Ten  years  later 
there  is  a  twenty-line  obituary  in  the  London  papers,  and  the 
reader  is  paralyzed  by  the  splendors  of  a  career  which  he  is 
not  sure  that  he  had  ever  heard  of  before.  But  meanwhile  he 
has  learned  all  about  the  continental  princelets  and  dukelets. 

The  average  man  is  profoundly  ignorant  of  countries  that 
lie  remote  from  his  own.  When  they  are  mentioned  in  his 
presence  one  or  two  facts  and  maybe  a  couple  of  names  rise 
like  torches  in  his  mind,  lighting  up  an  inch  or  two  of  it  and 
leaving  the  rest  all  dark.  The  mention  of  Egypt  suggests 
some  Biblical  facts  and  the  Pyramids  —  nothing;  more.  The 
mention  of  South  Africa  suggests  Ivimberly  and  the  diamonds 
and  there  an  end.  Formerly  the  mention,  to  a  Hindoo,  of 
Am  srica  suggested  a  name  —  George  Washington  —  with  that 
his  familiarity  with  our  country  was  exhausted.  Latterly  his 
familiarity  with  it  has  doubled  in  bulk;  so  that  when  America 
is  mentioned  now,  two  torches  Hare  up  in  the  dark  caverns  of 
his  mind  and  he  savs,  '"Ah,  the  country  of  the  great  man  — 
Washington;  and  of  the  IIolv  City  —  Chicago."  For  he 
knows  about  the  Congress  of  Religion,  and  this  has  enabled 
him  to  get  an  erroneous  impression  of  Chicago. 

When  India  is  mentioned  to  the  citizen  of  a  far  country  it 
suggests  ('live,  Hastings,  the  Mutiny,  Kipling,  and  a  number 
of  other  great  events ;  and  the  mention  of  Calcutta  infallibly 
brings  up  the  Black  Hole.  And  so,  when  that  citizen  finds 
himself  in  the  capital  of  India  he  goes  first  of  all  to  see  the 
Black  Hole  of  Calcutta  —  and  is  disappointed. 

The  Black  Hole  was  not  preserved  ;  it  is  gone,  long,  long 
ago.     It  is  strange.     Just  as   it  stood,  it  was  itself  a  monu- 


520  "FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

ment ;  a  ready-made  one.  It  was  finished,  it  was  complete,  its 
materials  were  strong  and  lasting,  it  needed  no  furbishing  up, 
no  repairs  ;  it  merely  needed  to  be  let  alone.  It  was  the  first 
brick,  the  Foundation  Stone,  upon  which  was  reared  a  mighty 
Empire  — the  Indian  Empire  of  Great  Britain.  It  was  the 
ghastly  episode  of  the  Black  Hole  that  maddened  the  British 
and  brought  dive,  that  young  military  marvel,  raging  up  from 
Madras;  it  was  the  seed  from  which  sprung  Plassey  ;  and  it 
was  that  extraordinary  battle,  whose  like  had  not  been  seen  in 
the  earth  since  Agincourt,  that  laid  deep  and  strong  the 
foundations  of  England's  colossal  Indian  sovereignty. 

And  yet  within  the  time  of  men  who  still  live,  the  Black- 
Hole  was  torn  down  and  thrown  away  as  carelessly  as  if  its 
bricks  were  common  clay,  not  ingots  of  historic  gold.  There 
is  no  accounting  for  human  beings. 

The  supposed  site  of  the  Black  Hole  is  marked  by  an  en- 
graved plate.  I  saw  that;  and  better  that  than  nothing. 
The  Black  Hole  was  a  prison  —  a  cell  is  nearer  the  right  word 
—  eighteen  feet  square,  the  dimensions  of  an  ordinary  bed- 
chamber ;  and  into  this  place  the  victorious  Nabob  of  Bengal 
packed  146  of  his  English  prisoners.  There  was  hardly  standing 
room  for  them  ;  scarcely  a  breath  of  air  was  to  be  got  ;  the 
time  was  night,  the  weather  sweltering  hot.  Before  the  dawn 
came,  the  captives  were  all  dead  but  twenty-three.  Mr. 
Holwell's  long  account  of  the  awful  episode  was  familiar  to 
the  world  a  hundred  years  ago,  but  one  seldom  sees  in  print 
even  an  extract  from  it  in  our  day.  Among  the  striking- 
things  in  it  is  this.  Mr.  Holwell,  perishing  with  thirst,  kept 
himself  alive  by  sucking  the  perspiration  from  his  sleeves.  It 
gives  one  a  vivid  idea  of  the  situation.  He  presently  found 
that  while  he  was  busy  drawing  life  from  one  of  his  sleeves  a 
young  English  gentleman  was  stealing  supplies  from  the  other 
one.     Holwell  was  an  unselfish  man.  a  man  of  the  most  gen- 


THE  BLACK  HOLE  OF  CALCUTTA.         521 

erous  impulses ;  he  lived  and  died  famous  for  these  tine  and 
rare  qualities ;  yet  when  he  found  out  what  was  happening  to 
that  unwatched  sleeve,  he  took  the  precaution  to  suck  that 
one  dry  tirst.  The  miseries  of  the  Black  Hole  were  able  to 
change  even  a  nature  Like  his.  But  that  young  gentleman 
was  one  of  the  twenty-three  survivors,  and  he  said  it  was  the 
stolen  perspiration  that  saved  his  life.  From  the  middle  of 
Mr.  Holwell's  narrative  I  will  make  a  brief  excerpt: 

"Then  a  general  prayer  to  Heaven,  to  hasten  the  approach  of  the  flames 
to  the  right  and  left  of  us,  ami  put  a  period  to  our  misery.  Bui  these  failing, 
they  whose  strength  and  spirits  were  quite  exhausted  laid  themselves  down 
and  expired  quietly  upon  their  fellows:  others  who  had  yet  some  strength 
and  vigor  left  made  a  last  effort  at  the  windows,  and  several  succeeded  by 
leaping  and  scrambling  over  the  backs  and  heads  of  those  in  the  first  rank, 
and  got  hold  of  the  bars,  from  winch  there  was  no  removing  them.  Many  to 
the  right  and  left  sunk  with  the  violent  pressure,  and  were  soon  suffocated; 
for  now  a  steam  arose  from  the  living  and  the  dead,  winch  affected  us  in  all 
its  circumstances  as  if  we  were  forcibly  held  with  our  heads  over  a  bowl  full 
of  strong  volatile  spirit  of  hartshorn,  until  suffocated;  nor  could  the  effluvia 
of  the  one  be  distinguished  from  the  other,  and  frequently,  when  I  was  forced 
by  the  load  tipon  my  head  and  shoulders  to  hold  my  face  down,  I  was  obliged, 
near  as  I  was  to  the  window,  instantly  to  raise  it  again  to  avoid  suffocation.  I 
need  not.  my  dear  friend,  ask  your  commiseration,  when  I  tell  you,  that  in  this 
plight,  from  half  an  hour  past  eleven  till  near  two  in  the  morning,  I  sustained 
the  weight  of  a  heavy  man.  with  his  knees  in  my  back,  and  the  pressure  of 
his  whole  body  on  my  head.  A  Dutch  surgeon  who  had  taken  his  seat  upon 
my  left  shoulder,  and  a  Topaz  (a  black  Christian  soldier)  bearing  on  my 
right  ;  all  which  nothing  could  have  enabled  me  to  support  hut  the  props  and 
pressure  equally  sustaining  me  all  around.  The  two  latter  I  frequently  dis- 
lodged by  shifting  my  hold  on  the  bars  and  driving  my  knuckles  into  their 
ribs;  hut  my  friend  above  stuck  fast,  held  immovable  by  two  bars. 

"I  exerted  anew  my  strength  and  fortitude  ;  but  the  repeated  trials  and 
efforts  I  made  to  dislodge  the  insufferable  incumbrances  upon  me  at  last 
quite  exhausted  me  :  and  towards  two  o'clock,  rinding  I  must  (put  the  window 
or  Miik  where  I  was,  I  resolved  on  the  former,  having  bore,  truly  for  the  sake 
of  others,  infinitely  more  for  life  than  the  best  of  it  is  worth.  In  the  rank 
close  behind  me  was  an  officer  of  one  of  the  ships,  whose  name  was  C'ary,  and 
who  had  behaved  with  much  bravery  during  the  siege  (his  wife,  a  fine 
woman,  though  country  born,  would  not  quit  him,  but  accompanied  him  into 
the  prison,  and  was  one  who  survived).  This  poor  wretch  had  been  long  rav- 
ing for  water  and  air ;  I  told  him  I  was  determined  to  give  up  life,  and 
recommended  his  gaining  my  station.  On  my  quitting  it  he  made  a  fruitless 
attempt  to  get  my  place  ;  but  the  Dutch  surgeon,  who  sat  on  my  shoulder, 
supplanted  him.    Poor  Cary  expressed  his  thankfulness,  and  said  he  would 


522  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

give  up  life  too;  but  it  was  with  the  utmost  labor  we  forced  our  way  from 
the  window  (several  in  the  inner  ranks  appearing  to  me  dead  standing,  unable 
1o  fall  by  the  throng  and  equal  pressure  around).  He  laid  himself  down  to 
die  ;  and  his  death,  I  believe,  was  very  sudden  ;  for  he  was  a  short,  full,  san- 
guine man.  His  strength  was  great  ;  and,  I  imagine,  had  he  not  retired  with 
me,  I  should  never  have  been  able  to  force  my  way.  I  was  at  this  time  sen- 
sib'e  of  no  pain,  and  little  uneasiness  ;  I  can  give  you  no  better  idea  of  my 
situation  than  by  repeating  my  simile  of  the  bowl  of  spirit  of  hartshorn.  I 
found  a  stupor  coming  on  apace,  and  laid  myself  down  by  that  gallant  old 
man,  the  Rev.  tylr.  Jervas  Bellamy,  who  laid  dead  with  his  son,  the  lieutenant, 
hand  in  hand,  near  the  southernmost  wall  of  the  prison.  When  I  had  lain 
there  some  little  time,  I  still  had  reflection  enough  to  suffer  some  uneasiness 
in  the  thought  that  I  should  be  trampled  upon,  when  dead,  as  I  myself  had 
done  to  others.  With  some  difficulty  I  raised  myself,  and  gained  the  plat- 
form a  second  time,  where  I  presently  lost  all  sensation;  the  last  trace  of  sen- 
sibility that  I  have  been  able  to  recollect  after  my  laying  down,  was  my  sash 
being  uneasy  about  my  waist,  which  I  untied,  and  threw7  from  me.  Of  what 
passed  in  this  interval,  to  the  time  of  my  resurrection  from  this  hole  of  bor- 
rows, I  can  give  you  no  account." 

There  was  plenty  to  see  in  Calcutta,  but  there  was  not 
plenty  of  time  for  it.  I  saw  the  fort  that  (live  built ;  and  the 
place  where  Warren  Hastings  and  the  author  of  the  Junius 
Letters  fought  their  duel  ;  and  the  great  botanical  gardens  ; 
and  the  fashionable  afternoon  turnout  in  the  Maidan  ;  and  a 
grand  review  of  the  garrison  in  a  great  plain  at  sunrise ;  and  a 
military  tournament  in  which  crreat  bodies  of  native  soldiery 
exhibited  the  perfection  of  their  drill  at  all  arms,  a  spectacular 
and  beautiful  show  occupying  several  nights  and  closing  with  the 
mimic  storming  of  a  native  fort  which  was  as  good  as  the  reality 
for  thrilling  and  accurate  detail,  and  better  than  the  reality  for 
security  and  comfort ;  we  had  a  pleasure  excursion  on  the 
Hoogly  by  courtesy  of  friends,  and  devoted  the  rest  of  the  time 
to  social  life  and  the  Indian  museum.  One  should  spend  a 
month  in  the  museum,  an  enchanted  palace  of  Indian  antiquities. 
Indeed,  a  person  might  spend  half  a  year  among  the  beautiful 
and  wonderful  things  without  exhausting  their  interest. 

It  was  winter.  We  were  of  Kipling's  k'  hosts  of  tourists 
who  travel  up  and  down   India  in  the  cold  weather  showing 


BLUNTED    PERCEPTIONS. 


523 


how  things  oughl  to  be  managed."  It  is  ;i  common  expression 
there,  "the  cold  weather,"  and  the  people  think  there  is  such 
a  thing.  It  is  because  they  have  lived  there  half  a  lifetime, 
and  their  perceptions  have  become  blunted.  When  a  person  is 
accustomed  to  138  in  the  shade,  his  ideas  about  cold  weather 
are  not  valuable.  I  had  read,  iu  the  histories,  that  the  June 
marches  made  between  Lucknow  and  Cawnpore  by  the  British 
forces  in  the  time  of  the  Mutiny  were  made  in  that  kind  of 
weather  —  L38  in  the  shade  —  and  had  taken  it  for  historical 
embroidery.  I  had  read  it  again  in  Serjeant- 
Major  Forbes- Mitchell's  account  of  his  mili- 
tary experiences  in  the  Mutiny  —  at  least  I 
thought  I  had  —  and  in  Calcutta  I  asked  him 
if  it  was  true,  and  he  said  it  was.  An  officer 
of  hicrh  rank  who  had  been  in  the  thick  of  the 
Mutiny  said  the  same.  As  long  as  those  men 
were  talking:  about  what  they  knew,  they 
were  trustworthy,  and  I  believed  them  ;  but 
when  they  said  it  was  now  "  cold  weather,"  I 
saw  that  they  had  traveled  outside  of  their 
sphere  of  knowledge  and  were  floundering. 
I  believe  that  in  India  "cold  weather"1  is 
merely  a  conventional  phrase  and  has  come 
into  use  through  the  necessitv  of  having  some 
way  to  distinguish  between  weather  which 
will  melt  a  brass  door-knob  and  weather 
which  will  only  make  it  mushy.  It  was  mushy  weather. 
observable  that  brass  ones  were  in  use  while  I  was  in  Calcutta, 
showing  that  it  was  not  yet  time  to  change  to  porcelain  ;  1  was 
told  the  change  to  porcelain  was  not  usually  made  until  May. 
But  this  cold  weather  was  too  warm  for  us ;  so  we  started  to 
Darjeeling,  in  the  Himalayas — a  twenty-four  hour  journey. 


CHAPTER   LV. 

There  are  869  difEerenl  forms  of  lying,  but  only  one  of  them  has  been  squarely 
forbidden.     Thou  shalt  not  bear  false  witness  against  thy  neighbor. 

—  PudcPnhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

rROM  Diary  : 
February    I',.     We  left   at  4:30  p.m.     Until  dark  we 
moved  through   rich    vegetation,   then  changed  to    a 
boat  and  crossed  the  Ganges. 

February  15.  Up  with  the  sun.  A  brilliant  morning,  and 
frosty.  A  double  suit  of  flannels  is  found  necessary.  The 
plain  is  perfectly  level,  and  seems  to  stretch  away  and  away 
and  away,  dimming  and  softening,  to  the  uttermost  bounds  of 
nowhere.  What  a  soaring,  strenuous,  gushing  fountain  spray 
of  delicate  greenery  a  bunch  of  bamboo  is  !  As  far  as  the  eye 
can  reach,  these  grand  vegetable  geysers  grace  the  view,  their 
spoutings  refined  to  steam  by  distance.  And  there  are  fields 
of  bananas,  with  the  sunshine  glancing  from  the  varnished 
surface  of  their  drooping  vast  leaves.  And  there  are  frequent 
groves  of  palm  ;  and  an  effective  accent  is  given  to  the  land- 
scape by  isolated  individuals  of  this  picturesque  family,  tower- 
ing, clean-stemmed,  their  plumes  broken  and  hanging  ragged, 
Nature's  imitation  of  an  umbrella  that  has  been  out  to  see 
what  a  cyclone  is  like  and  is  trying  not  to  look  disappointed. 
And  everywhere  through  the  soft  morning  vistas  we 
glimpse  the  villages,  the  countless  villages,  the  myriad  villages, 
thatched,  built  of  clean  new  matting,  snuggling  among  grouped 
palms  and  sheaves  of  bamboo;    villages,  villages,  no  end  of 

villages,  not  three  hundred  yards  apart,  and  dozens  and  dozens 

(524) 


SOME   PAGAN   WAYS   WORTH   BORROWING. 


.>L'.> 


of  them  in  sight  all  the  time;  a  mighty  City,  hundreds  of 
miles  long,  hundreds  of  miles  broad,  made  all  of  villages,  the 
biggest  city  in  the  earth,  and  as  populous  as  a  European 
kingdom.  I  have  seen  no  such  city  as  this  before.  And  there 
is  a  continuously  repeated  and  replenished  multitude  of  naked 
men  in  view  on  both  sides  and  ahead.  AVe  Hv  through  it 
mile  after  mile,  but  still  it  is  always  there,  on  both  sides  and 
ahead  —  brown-bodied,  naked  men  and  boys,  plowing  in  the 
fields.  But  not  a  woman.  In  these  two  hours  I  have  not 
seen  a  woman  or  a  girl  working  in  the  lields. 


'  From  Greenland's  icy  mountains, 

From  India's  coral  strand. 
Where  Afrie's  sunny  fountains 

Roll  down  their  golden  sand. 
From  many  an  ancient  river, 

From  many  a  palmy  plain. 
They  call  us  to  deliver 

Their  land  from  error's  chain." 


- 


INDIA. 


Those  are  beautiful  verses,  and  they  have  remained  in  my 
memory  all  my  life.  But  if  the  closing  lines  are  true,  let  us 
hope  that  when  Ave  come  to  answer  the  call  and  deliver  the 
land  from  its  errors,  we  shall  secrete  from  it  some  of  our 
high-civilization  ways,  and  at  the  same  time  borrow  some  of 
its  pagan  ways  to  enrich   our  high  system    with.     We  have  a 


526 


FOLLOWING    THE    EQUATOR. 


right  to  do  this.  If  we  lift  those  people  up,  we  have  a  right  to 
lift  ourselves  up  nine  or  ten  grades  or  so,  at  their  expense.  A 
few  years  ago  1  spent  several  weeks  at  Tolz,  in  Bavaria.  It 
is  a  Roman  Catholic  region,  and  not  even  Benares  is  more 
deeply  or  pervasively  or  intelligently  devout.  In  my  diary  of 
those  days  I  find  this  : 

"  We  took  a  long  drive  yesterday  around  about  the  lovely  country  roads. 
But  it  was  a  drive  whose  pleasure  was  damaged  in  a  couple  of  ways  :  by  the 
dreadful  shrines  and  by  the  shameful  spectacle  of  gray  and  venerable  old 
grandmothers  toiling  in  the  fields.  The  shrines  were  frequent  along  the 
roads  —  figures  of  the  Saviour  nailed  to  the  cross  and  streaming  with  blood 
from  the  wounds  of  the  nails  and  the  thorns. 

"When  missionaries  go  from  here  do  they  find  fault  with  the  pagan 
idols  ?  I  saw  many  women  seventy  and  even  eighty  years  old  mowing  and 
binding  in  the  fields,  and  pitchforking  the  loads  into  the  wagons." 

1  was  in  Austria  later,  and  in  Munich.  In  Munich  I  saw 
gray  old  women  pushing  trucks  up  hill  and  down,  long  dis- 
tances, trucks  laden  with  barrels  of  beer,  incredible  loads.  In 
mv  Austrian  diarv  I    find  this  : 


:- 


"In  the  fields  I  often  see  a 
woman  and  a  cow  harnessed  to  the 
plow,  and  a  man  driving. 

"  In  the  public  street  of  Marien- 
bad  to-day,  I  saw  an  old,  bent,  gray- 
headed  woman,  in  harness  with  a 
dog,  drawing  a  laden  sled  over  bare 
dirt  roads  and  bare  pavements  ;  and 
at  his  ease  walked  the  driver,  smok- 
ing his  pipe,  a  hale  fellow  not  thirty 
years  old." 

Five  or  six  years  aero  I 
bought  an  open  boat,  made 
a  kind  of  a  canvas  wagon-roof 
over  the  stern  of  it  to  shelter  me  from  sun  and  rain ;  hired  a 
courier  and  a  boatman,  and  made  a  twelve-day  floating;  vov- 
age  down  the  Rhone  from  Lake  Bourget  to  Marseilles.  In 
my  diary  of  that  trip  I  find  this  entry.  I  was  far  down  the 
Rhone  then : 


AUSTRIA. 


HIGH   CIVILIZATION   METHODS. 


527 


"  Passing  St.  Etiennc.  2:15  p.m.  On  a  distant  ridge  inland,  a  tall  open- 
work structure  commandingly  situated,  with  a  statue  of  the  Virgin  standing 
on  it  A  devout  country.  All  down  this  river,  wherever  there  is  a  crag 
there  is  a  statue  of  the  Virgin  on  it.  I  believe  I  have  seen  a  hundred  of 
them.  And  yet,  in  many  respects,  the  peasantry  seem  to  be  mere  pagans, 
and  destitute  of  any  considerable  degree  of  civilization. 

"  .  .  .  .  We  reached  a  not  very  promising  looking  village  about  4 
o'clock,  and  I  concluded  to  tie  up  for  the  day  ;  munching  fruit  and  fogging 
the  hood  with  pipe-smoke  had  grown  monotonous  ;  I  could  not  have  the  hood 
furled,  because  the  floods  of  rain  fell  unceasingly.  The  tavern  was  on  the 
river  bank,  as  is  the  custom  It  was  dull  there,  and  melancholy —  nothing  to 
do  but  look  out  of  the  window  into  the  drenching  rain,  and  shiver  ;  one  could 
do  that,  for  it  was  bleak  and  cold  and  windy,  and  country  France  furnishes 
no  fire.  Winter  overcoats  did  not  help  me  much  ;  they  had  to  be  supple- 
mented with  rugs.  The  raindrops  were  so  large  and  struck  the  river  with 
such  force  that  they  knocked  up  the  water  like  pebble-splashes. 

•'  With  the  exception  of 
a  very  occasional  wooden- 
shod  peasant,  nobody  was 
abroad  in  this  bitter  weather 

—  I  mean  nobody  of  our 
sex.  But  all  weathers  are 
alike  to  the  women  in  these 
continental  countries  To 
them  and  the  other  animals, 
life  is  serious  ;  nothing  in- 
terrupts their  slavery. 
Three  of  them  were  wash- 
ing clothes  in  the  river  un- 
der the  window  when  I 
arrived,  and  they  continued 
at  it  as  long  as  there  was 
light  to  work  by.  One  was 
apparently  thirty  ;    another 

—  the  mother  !  —  above 
fifty;  the  third  —  grand 
mother!  —  so  old  and  worn 
and  gray  she  could  have 
passed  for  eighty  ;  I  took 
her  to  be  that  old.  They  had  no  waterproofs  nor  rubbers,  of  course  ;  over 
their  shoulders  they  wore  gunny-sacks  —  simply  conductors  for  rivers  of 
water;  some  of  the  volume  reached  the  ground;  the  rest  soaked  in  on  the 
way. 

"At  last  a  vigorous  fellowT  of  thirty-five  arrived,  dry  and  comfortable, 
smoking  his  pipe  under  his  big  umbrella  in  an  open  donkey-cart  —  husband, 
son,  and  grandson  of  those  women  !  He  stood  up  in  the  cart,  sheltering  him- 
s'lf,  and  began  to  superintend,  issuing  his  orders  in  a  masterly  tone  of  com- 
mand,  and  showing  temper  when   they  were    not    obeyed  swiftly  enough. 


FKAXI'K. 


528  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

Without  complaint  or  murmur  the  drowned  women  patiently  carried  out  the 
orders,  lifting  the  immense  baskets  of  soggy,  wrung-out  clothing  into  the 
cart  and  stowing  them  to  the  man's  satisfaction.  There  were  six  of  the  great 
baskets,  and  a  man  of  mere  ordinary  strength  could  not  have  lifted  any  one 
of  them.  The  cart  being  full  now,  the  Frenchman  descended,  still  sheltered 
by  his  umbrella,  entered  the  tavern,  and  the  women  went  drooping  home- 
ward, trudging  in  the  wake  of  the  cart,  and  soon  were  blended  with  the 
deluge  and  lost  to  sight. 

"  When  I  went  down  into  the  public  room,  the  Frenchman  had  his  bottle 
of  wine  and  plate  of  food  on  a  bare  table  black  with  grease,  and  was 
"chomping"  like  a  horse.  lie  had  the  little  religious  paper  which  is  in 
everybody's  hands  on  the  Rhone  borders,  and  was  enlightening  himself  with 
t  he  histories  of  French  saints  who  used  to  flee  to  the  desert  in  the  Middle 
Ages  to  escape  the  contamination  of  woman.  For  two  hundred  years  France 
has  been  sending  missionaries  to  other  savage  lands.  To  spare  to  the  needy 
from  poverty  like  hers  is  fine  and  true  generosity."' 

But  to  get  back  to  India  —  where,  as  my  favorite  poem 

says  — 

"  Every  prospect  pleases. 
And  only  man  is  vile." 

It  is  because  Bavaria  and  Austria  and  France  have  not 
introduced  their  civilization  to  him  yet.  But  Bavaria  and 
Austria  and  France  are  on  their  way.  They  are  coining:. 
Thev  will  rescue  him;  they  will  refine  the  vileness  out  of 
him. 

Some  time  during  the  forenoon,  approaching  the  mountains, 
we  changed  from  the  regular  train  to  one  composed  of  little 
canvas-sheltered  cars  that  skimmed  along  within  a  foot  of  the 
ground  and  seemed  to  be  going  fifty  miles  an  hour  when  they 
were  really  making  about  twenty.  Each  ear  had  seating 
capacity  for  half-a-dozen  persons;  and  when  the  curtains  were 
up  one  was  substantially  out  of  doors,  and  could  see  every- 
where, and  get  all  the  breeze,  and  be  luxuriously  comfortable. 
It  was  not  a  pleasure  excursion  in  name  only,  hut  in  fact. 

After  a  while  Ave  stopped  at  a  little  wooden  coop  of  a  sta- 
tion just  within  the  curtain  of  the  sombre  jungle,  a  place  with 
a  deep  and  dense  forest  of  great  trees  and  scrub  and  vines  all 
about  it.     The  royal  Bengal  tiger  is  in  great  force  there,  and 


MY    FIRST   TIGER   HUNT.  529 

is  very  bold  and  unconventional.  From  this  lonely  little  sta- 
tion a  message  once  went  to  the  railway  manager  in  Calcutta  : 
"  Tiger  eating  station-master  on  front  porch ;  telegraph  instruc- 
tions." 

It  was  there  that  I  had  my  first  tiger  hunt.  I  killed  thir- 
teen. We  were  presently  away  again,  and  the  train  began  to 
climb  the  mountains.  In  one  place  seven  wild  elephants 
crossed  the  track,  but  two  of  them  got  away  before  I  could 
overtake  them.  The  railway  journey  up  the  mountain  is  forty 
miles,  and  it  takes  eight  hours  to  make  it.  It  is  so  wild  and 
interestino-  and  excitino-  and  enchanting;  that  it  ought  to  take  a 
week.  As  for  the  vegetation,  it  is  a  museum.  The  jungle 
seemed  to  contain  samples  of  every  rare  and  curious  tree  and 
bush  that  we  had  ever  seen  or  heard  of.  It  is  from  that 
museum,  I  think,  that  the  globe  must  have  been  supplied  with 
the  trees  and  vines  and  shrubs  that  it  holds  precious. 

The  road  is  infinitely  and  charmingly  crooked.  It  goes 
winding  in  and  out  under  lofty  cliffs  that  are  smothered  in 
vines  and  foliage,  and  around  the  edges  of  bottomless  chasms; 
and  all  the  way  one  glides  by  files  of  picturesque  natives,  some 
carrying  burdens  up,  others  going  down  from  their  work  in 
the  tea-gardens;  and  once  there  was  a  gaudy  wedding  proces- 
sion, all  bright  tinsel  and  color,  and  a  bride,  comely  and  girlish, 
who  peeped  out  from  the  curtains  of  her  palanquin,  exposing 
her  face  with  that  pure  delight  which  the  young  and  happy 
take  in  sin  for  sin's  own  sake. 

By  and  by  we  were  well  up  in  the  region  of  the  clouds,  and 
from  that  breezy  height  we  looked  down  and  afar  over  a  won- 
derful picture  —  the  Plains  of  India,  stretching  to  the  horizon, 
soft  and  fair,  level  as  a  floor,  shimmering  with  heat,  mottled 
with  cloud-shadows,  and  cloven  with  shining  rivers.  Immedi- 
ately below  us,  and  receding  down,  down,  down,  toward  the 

valley,  was  a  shaven   confusion  of  hilltops,  with  ribbony  roads 
34 


530  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

and  paths  squirming  and  snaking  cream-yellow  all  over  them 
and  about  them,  every  curve  and  twist  sharply  distinct. 

At  an  elevation  of  6,000  feet  we  entered  a  thick  cloud,  and 
it  shut  out  the  world  and  kept  it  shut  out.  AVe  climbed  1,000 
feet  higher,  then  began  to  descend,  and  presently  got  down  to 
Darjeeling,  which  is  6,000  feet  above  the  level  of  the  Plains. 

We  had  passed  many  a  mountain  village  on  the  way  up, 
and  seen  some  new  kinds  of  natives,  among  them  many  sam- 
ples of  the  fighting  Ghurkas.  They  are  not  large  men,  but 
they  are  strong  and  resolute.  There  are  no  better  soldiers 
among  Britain's  native  troops.  And  we  had  passed  shoals  of 
their  women  climbing  the  forty  miles  of  steep  road  from  the 
valley  to  their  mountain  homes,  with  tall  baskets  on  their  backs 
hitched  to  their  foreheads  by  a  band,  and  containing  a  freight- 
age weighing  -  -  I  will  not  say  how  many  hundreds  of  pounds, 
for  the  sum  is  unbelievable.  These  were  young  women,  and 
they  strode  smartly  along  under  these  astonishing  burdens 
with  the  air  of  people  out  for  a  holiday.  I  was  told  that  a 
woman  will  carry  a  piano  on  her  back  all  the  way  up  the 
mountain  ;  and  that  more  than  once  a  woman  had  done  it.  If 
these  were  old  women  I  should  regard  the  Ghurkas  as  no 
more  civilized  than  the  Europeans. 

At  the  railway  station  at  Darjeeling  you  find  plenty  of  cab- 
substitutes —  open  coffins,  in  which  you  sit,  and  are  then  borne 
on  men's  shoulders  up  the  steep  roads  into  the  town. 

Up  there  we  found  a  fairly  comfortable  hotel,  the  property 
of  an  indiscriminate  and  incoherent  landlord,  who  looks  after 
nothing,  but  leaves  everything  to  his  army  of  Indian  servants. 
No,  he  does  look  after  the  bill  —  to  be  just  to  him  — and  the 
tourist  cannot  do  better  than  follow  his  example.  I  was  told 
by  a  resident  that  the  summit  of  Kinchinjunga  is  often  hidden 
in  the  clouds,  and  that  sometimes  a  tourist  has  waited  twenty- 
two  days  and  then  been  obliged  to  go  away  without  a  sight  of 


A  CAB  SUBSTITUTE. 


532  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

it.  And  vet  went  not  disappointed  :  for  when  lie  got  his  hotel 
I  (ill  he  recognized  that  he  was  now  seeing  the  highest  thing  in 
the  Himalayas.     But  this  is  probably  a  lie. 

After  lecturing  I  went  to  the  Club  that  night,  and  that  was 
a  comfortable  place.  It  is  loftily  situated,  and  looks  out  over 
a  vast  spread  of  scenery  ;  from  it  you  can  see  where  the  boun- 
daries of  three  countries  come  together,  some  thirty  miles  away  ; 
Thibet  is  one  of  them,  Xepaul  another,  and  I  think  Herze- 
govina was  the  other.  Apparently,  in  every  town  and  city  in 
India  the  gentlemen  of  the  British  civil  and  military  service 
have  a  club;  sometimes  it  is  a  palatial  one,  always  it  is  pleas- 
ant and  homelike.  The  hotels  are  not  always  as  good  as  thev 
might  be.  and  the  stranger  who  has  access  to  the  Club  is  grate- 
ful for  his  privilege  and  knows  how  to  value  it. 

Next  day  was  Sunday.  Friends  came  in  the  gray  dawn 
with  horses,  and  ray  party  rode  away  to  a  distant  point  where 
Kinchinjunga  and  Mount  Everest  show  up  best,  but  I  stayed  at 
home  for  a  private  view  ;  for  it  was  very  old,  and  I  was  not 
acquainted  with  the  horses,  any  way.  I  got  a  pipe  and  a  few 
blankets  and  sat  for  two  hours  at  the  window,  and  saw  the  sun 
drive  away  the  veiling  gray  and  touch  up  the  snow-peaks  one 
after  another  with  pale  pink  splashes  and  delicate  washes  of 
gold,  and  finally  Hood  the  whole  mighty  convulsion  of  snow- 
mountains  with  a  deluge  of  rich  splendors. 

Kinchinjunga's  peak  was  but  fitfully  visible,  but  in  the  be- 
tween times  it  was  vividly  clear  against  the  sky  — away  up 
there  in  the  blue  dome  more  than  28,000  feet  above  sea  level 
-  the  loftiest  land  I  had  ever  seen,  by  12,000  feet  or  more.  It 
was  45  miles  away.  Mount  Everest  is  a  thousand  feet  higher, 
but  it  was  not  a  part  of  that  sea  of  mountains  piled  up  there 
before  me,  so  I  did  not  see  it;  but  I  did  not  care,  because  I 
think  that  mountains  that  are  as  high  as  that  are  disagreeable. 

©  © 

I  changed  from  the  back  to  the  front  of  the  house  and 


2 


X 


X 


c 
> 


m 


534 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


spent  the  rest  of  the  morning  there,  watching  the  swarthy 
strange  tribes  flock  by  from  their  far  homes  in  the  Himalayas. 
All  ages  and  both  sexes  were  represented,  and  the  breeds  were 

quite  new  to  me,  though  the 
costumes  of  the  Thibetans  made 
them  look  a  good  deal  like 
Chinamen.  The  prayer-wheel 
was  a  frequent  feature.  It 
brought  me  near  to  these  people, 
and  made  them  seem  kinfolk  of 
mine.  Through  our  preacher  we 
do  much  of  our  praying  by 
proxy.  "We  do  not  whirl  him 
around  a  stick,  as  they  do,  but 
that  is  merely  a  detail.  The 
swarm  swung  briskly  by,  hour 
after  hour,  a  strange  and  striking 
pageant.  It  was  wasted  there, 
and  it  seemed  a  pity.  It  should 
have  been  sent  streaming  through 
the  cities  of  Europe  or  America,  to  refresh  eyes  weary  of  the 
pale  monotonies  of  the  circus-pageant.  These  people  were 
bound  for  the  bazar,  with  things  to  sell.  "We  went  down  there, 
later,  and  saw  that  novel  congress  of  the  wild  peoples,  and 
plowed  here  and  there  through  It,  and  concluded  that  it  would 
be  worth  coming  from  Calcutta  to  see,  even  if  there  were  no 
Kinchin] unga  and  Everest. 


THE    PKAYEK    WHEEL. 


CHAPTER  LVI. 

There  are  two  times  in  a  man's  life  when  he  should  not  speculate:  when  he  can't 
afford  it,  and  when  he  can. — Puddn'fiead    Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

N"  Monday  and  Tuesday  at  sunrise  we  again  had  fair-to- 
middling  views  of  the  stupendous  mountains ;    then, 
being  well  cooled  off  and  refreshed,  we  were  ready  to 
chance  the  weather  of  the  lower  world  once  more. 

We  traveled  up  hill  by  the  regular  train  five  miles  to  the 
summit,  then  changed  to  a  little  canvas-canopied  hand-car  for 
the  35-mile  descent.  It  was  the  size  of  a  sleigh,  it  had  six  seats 
and  was  so  low  that  it  seemed  to  rest  on  the  ground.  It  had 
no  engine  or  other  propelling  power,  and  needed  none  to  help 
it  fly  down  those  steep  inclines.  It  only  needed  a  strong- 
brake,  to  modify  its  flight,  and  it  had  that.  There  was  a  story 
of  a  disastrous  trip  made  down  the  mountain  once  in  this  little 
car  by  the  Lieutenant-Governor  of  Bengal,  when  the  car 
jumped  the  track  and  threw  its  passengers  over  a  precipice. 
It  was  not  true,  but  the  story  had  value  for  me,  for  it  made 
me  nervous,  and  nervousness  wakes  a  person  up  and  makes 
him  alive  and  alert,  and  heightens  the  thrill  of  a  new  and 
doubtful  experience.  The  car  could  really  jump  the  track,  of 
course ;  a  pebble  on  the  track,  placed  there  by  either  accident 
or  malice,  at  a  sharp  curve  where  one  might  strike  it  before 
the  eye  could  discover  it,  could  derail  the  car  and  fling  it  down 
into  India;  and  the  fact  that  the  lieutenant-governor  had 
escaped  was  no  proof  that  I  would  have  the  same  luck.  And 
standing  there,  looking  down  upon  the  Indian  Empire  from 
the  airy  altitude  of  7,<>00  feet,  it  seemed  unpleasantly  far, 
dangerously  far,  to  be  Hung  from  a  hand-car. 

(535) 


536  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

But  after  all,  there  was  but  small  danger  —  for  me.  What 
there  was,  was  for  Mr.  Pugh,  inspector  of  a  division  of  the 
Indian  police,  in  whose  company  and  protection  we  had  come 
from  Calcutta.  He  had  seen  long  service  as  an  artillery  officer, 
was  less  nervous  than  I  was.  and  so  he  was  to  go  ahead  of  us 
in  a  pilot  hand-car.  with  a  Ghurka  and  another  native;  and 
the  plan  was  that  when  we  should  see  his  car  jump  over  a 
precipice  Ave  must  put  on  our  break  and  send  for  another  pilot. 
It  was  a  good  arrangement.  Also  Mr.  Barnard,  chief  engineer 
of  the  mountain-division  of  the  road,  was  to  take  personal 
charge  of  our  car,  and  he  had  been  down  the  mountain  in  it 
many  a  time. 

Everything  looked  safe.  Indeed,  there  was  but  one  ques- 
tionable detail  left :  the  regular  train  was  to  follow  us  as  soon 
as  we  should  start,  and  it  might  run  over  us.  Privately,  I 
thought  it  would. 

The  road  fell  sharply  down  in  front  of  us  and  went  cork- 
screwing in  and  out  around  the  crags  and  precipices,  down, 
down,  forever  down,  suggesting  nothing  so  exactly  or  so  un- 
comfortably as  a  crooked  toboggan  slide  with  no  end  to  it. 
Mr.  Pugh  waved  his  flag  and  started,  like  an  arrow  from  a 
bow.  and  before  I  could  get  out  of  the  car  we  were  gone  too. 
I  had  previously  had  but  one  sensation  like  the  shock  of  that 
departure,  and  that  was  the  gaspy  shock  that  took  my  breath 
away  the  first  time  that  I  was  discharged  from  the  summit  of 
a  toboggan  slide.  But  in  both  instances  the  sensation  was 
pleasurable  —  intensely  so;  it  was  a  sudden  and  immense  ex- 
altation, a  mixed  ecstasy  of  deadly  fright  and  unimaginable 
joy.  I  believe  that  this  combination  makes  the  perfection  of 
human  delight. 

The  pilot  car's  flight  down  the  mountain  suggested  the 
swoop  of  a  swallow  that  is  skimming  the  ground,  so  swiftly 
and  smoothly  and  gracefully  it  swept  down  the  long  straight 


■'-  ":-i     i£^* 


WE   PLAYED   WITH   THE   TRAIN. 


538  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

reaches  and  soared  in  and  out  of  the  bends  and  around  the 
cornel's.  We  raced  after  it,  and  seemed  to  flash  by  the  capes 
and  crags  with  the  speed  of  light ;  and  now  and  then  we 
almost  overtook  it  --  and  had  hopes  ;  but  it  was  only  playing 
with  us ;  when  we  got  near,  it  released  its  brake,  make  a  spring 
around  a  corner,  and  the  next  time  it  spun  into  view,  a  few 
seconds  later,  it  looked  as  small  as  a  wheelbarrow,  it  was  so  far 
away.  We  played  with  the  train  in  the  same  way.  We  often 
got  out  to  gather  flowers  or  sit  on  a  precipice  and  look  at  the 
scenery,  then  presently  we  would  hear  a  dull  and  growing 
roar,  and  the  long  coils  of  the  train  would  come  into  sight  be- 
hind and  above  us ;  but  we  did  not  need  to  start  till  the  loco- 
motive was  close  down  upon  us  —  then  we  soon  left  it  far 
behind.  It  had  to  stop  at  every  station,  therefore  it  was  not 
an  embarrassment  to  us.  Our  brake  was  a  good  piece  of 
machinery  ;  it  could  bring  the  car  to  a  standstill  on  a  slope  as 
steep  as  a  house-roof. 

The  scenery  was  grand  and  varied  and  beautiful,  and  there 
was  no  hurry  ;  we  could  always  stop  and  examine  it.  There 
was  abundance  of  time.  We  did  not  need  to  hamper  the 
train ;  if  it  wanted  the  road,  we  could  switch  off  and  let  it  go 
by,  then  overtake  it  and  pass  it  later.  We  stopped  at  one 
place  to  see  the  Gladstone  Cliff,  a  great  crag  which  the  ages 
and  the  weather  have  sculptured  into  a  recognizable  portrait  of 
the  venerable  statesman.  Mr.  Gladstone  is  a  stockholder  in 
the  road,  and  Nature  began  this  portrait  ten  thousand  years 
ago,  with  the  idea  of  having  the  compliment  ready  in  time  for 
the  event. 

We  saw  a  banyan  tree  which  sent  down  supporting  stems 
from  branches  which,  were  sixty  feet  above  the  ground.  That 
is,  I  suppose  it  was  a  banyan  ;  its  bark  resembled  that  of  the 
great  banyan  in  the  botanical  gardens  at  Calcutta,  that  spider- 
legged  thing  with  its  wilderness  of  vegetable  columns.     And 


SLIDING  DOWN   THE   HIMALAYAS.  539 

there  were  frequent  glimpses  of  a  totally  leafless  tree  upon 
whose  innumerable  twigs  and  branches  a  cloud  of  crimson 
butterflies  had  lighted  —  apparently.  In  fact  these  brilliant 
red  butterflies  were  flowers,  but  the  illusion  was  good.  After- 
ward in  South  Africa,  I  saw  another  splendid  effect  made  by 
red  flowers.  This  flower  was  probably  called  the  torchplant 
—  should  have  been  so  named,  anyway.  It  had  a  slender  stem 
several  feet  high,  and  from  its  top  stood  up  a  single  tongue  of 
flame,  an  intensely  red  flower  of  the  size  and  shape  of  a  small 
corn-cob.  The  stems  stood  three  or  four  feet  apart  all  over  a 
great  hill-slope  that  was  a  mile  long,  and  make  one  think  of 
what  the  Place  de  la  Concorde  would  be  if  its  myriad  lights 
were  red  instead  of  white  and  yellow. 

A  few  miles  down  the  mountain  we  stopped  half  an  hour 
to  see  a  Thibetan  dramatic  performance.  It  was  in  the  open 
air  on  the  hillside.  The  audience  was  composed  of  Thibetans, 
Ghurkas,  and  other  unusual  people.  The  costumes  of  the 
actors  were  in  the  last  degree  outlandish,  and  the  performance 
was  in  keeping  with  the  clothes.  To  an  accompaniment  of 
barbarous  noises  the  actors  stepped  out  one  after  another  and 
began  to  spin  around  with  immense  swiftness  and  vigor  and 
violence,  chanting  the  while,  and  soon  the  whole  troupe  would 
be  spinning  and  chanting  and  raising  the  dust.  They  were 
performing  an  ancient  and  celebrated  historical  play,  and  a 
Chinaman  explained  it  to  me  in  pidjin  English  as  it  went 
along.  The  play  was  obscure  enough  without  the  explana- 
tion; with  the  explanation  added,  it  was  opake.  As  a  drama 
this  ancient  historical  work  of  art  was  defective,  I  thought, 
but  as  a  wild  and  barbarous  spectacle  the  representation  was 
beyond  criticism. 

Far  down  the  mountain  we  got  out  to  look  at  a  piece  of 
remarkable  loop-engineering  —  a  spiral  where  the  road  curves 
upon  itself  with  such  abruptness  that  when  the  regular  train 


0 

540  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

came  down  and  entered  the  loop,  we  stood  over  it  and  saw  the 
locomotive  disappear  under  our  bridge,  then  in  a  few  moments 
appear  again,  chasing  its  own  tail;  and  we  saw  it  gain  on  it, 
overtake  it,  draw  ahead  past  the  rear  cars,  and  run  a  race  with 
that  end  of  the  train.     It  was  like  a  snake  swallowing  itself. 

Half-way  down  the  mountain  we  stopped  about  an  hour  at 
Mr.  Barnard's  house  for  refreshments,  and  while  we  were 
sitting  on  the  veranda  looking  at  the  distant  panorama  of 
hills  through  a  gap  in  the  forest,  we  came  very  near  seeing  a 
leopard  kill  a  calf.*  It  is  a  wild  place  and  lovely.  From  the 
woods  all  about  came  the  songs  of  birds, —  among  them  the 
contributions  of  a  couple  of  birds  which  I  was  not  then 
acquainted  with  :  the  brain-fever  bird  and  the  coppersmith. 
The  song  of  the  brain-fever  demon  starts  on  a  low  but  steadily 
rising  key,  and  is  a  spiral  twist  which  augments  in  intensity 
and  severity  with  each  added  spiral,  growing  sharper  and 
sharper,  and  more  and  more  painful,  more  and  more  agonizing, 
more  and  more  maddening,  intolerable,  unendurable,  as  it 
bores  deeper  and  deeper  and  deeper  into  the  listener's  brain, 
until  at  last  the  brain  fever  comes  as  a  relief  and  the  man  dies. 
I  am  bringing  some  of  these  birds  home  to  America.  They 
will  be  a  great  curiosity  there,  and  it  is  believed  that  in  our 
climate  they  will  multiply  like  rabbits. 

The  coppersmith  bird's  note  at  a  certain  distance  away 
has  the  ring  of  a  sledge  on  granite ;  at  a  certain  other  distance 
the  hammering  has  a  more  metallic  ring,  and  you  might  think 
that  the  bird  was  mending  a  copper  kettle ;  at  another  distance 
it  has  a  more  woodeny  thump,  but  it  is  a  thump  that  is  full  of 
energy,  and  sounds  just  like  starting  a  bung.  So  he  is  a  hard 
bird  to  name  with  a  single  name;  he  is  a  stone-breaker,  cop- 
persmith, and  bung-starter,  and  even  then  he  is  not  completely 
named,  for  when  he  is  close  by  you  find  that  there  is  a  soft, 

*  It  killed  it  the  day  before. 


o 


NEW   BIRDS   FOR   AMERICA.  5J.3 

deep,  melodious  quality  in  his  thump,  and  for  that  no  satisfy- 
ing name  occurs  to  you.  You  will  not  mind  bis  other  notes, 
but  when  he  camps  near  enough  for  you  to  hear  that  one,  you 
presently  find  that  his  measured  and  monotonous  repetition  of 
it  is  beginning  to  disturb  you:  next  it  will  weary  you,  soon  it 
will  distress  you,  and  before  long  each  thump  will  hurt  your 
head ;  if  this  goes  on,  you  will  lose  your  mind  with  the  pain 
and  misery  of  it,  and  go  crazy.  I  am  bringing  some  of  these 
birds  home  to  America.  There  is  nothing  like  them  there. 
They  will  be  a  great  surprise,  and  it  is  said  that  in  a  climate 
like  ours  they  will  surpass  expectation  for  fecundity. 

I  am  bringing  some  nightingales,  too,  and  some  cue-owls. 
I  got  them  in  Italy.  The  song  of  the  nightingale  is  the  dead- 
liest  known  to  ornithology.  That  demoniacal  shriek  can  kill 
at  thirty  yards.  The  note  of  the  cue-owl  is  infinitely  soft  and 
sweet  —  soft  and  sweet  as  the  whisper  of  a  flute.  But  pene- 
trating—  oh,  beyond  belief;  it  can  bore  through  boiler-iron. 
It  is  a  lingering  note,  and  comes  in  triplets,  on  the  one  un- 
changing key  :  hoo-0-0,  hoo-0-0,  hoo-0-0  ;  then  a  silence  of  fifteen 
seconds,  then  the  triplet  again ;  and  so  on.  all  night.  At  first 
it  is  divine;  then  less  so;  then  trying;  then  distressing;  then 
excruciating;  then  agonizing,  and  at  the  end  of  two  hours  the 
listener  is  a  maniac. 

And  so,  presently  we  took  to  the  hand-car  and  went  flying 
down  the  mountain  again ;  flying  and  stopping,  flying  and 
stopping,  till  at  last  we  were  in  the  plain  once  more  and  stowed 
for  Calcutta  in  the  regular  train.  That  was  the  most  enjoy- 
able day  I  have  spent  in  the  earth.  For  rousing,  tingling, 
rapturous  pleasure  there  is  no  holiday  trip  that  approaches  the 
bird-flight  down  the  Himalayas  in  a  hand-car.  It  has  no 
fault,  no  blemish,  no  lack,  except  that  there  are  only  thirty - 
five  miles  of  it  instead  of  five  hundred. 


CHAPTER   LVII. 

She  was  not  quite  what  you   would  call  refined.     She  was  not  quite  what  you 
would  call  unrefined.     She  was  the  kind  of  person  that  keeps  a  parrot. 

—  PidhF iiliead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

SO  far  as  I  am  able  to  judge,  nothing  has  been  left 
undone,  either  by  man  or  Nature,  to  make  India  the 
most  extraordinary  country  that  the  sun  visits  on  his 
round.  Nothing  seems  to  have  been  forgotten,  nothing  over- 
looked. Always,  when  you  think  you  have  come  to  the  end 
of  her  tremendous  specialties  and  have  finished  hanging  tags 
upon  her  as  the  Land  of  the  Thug,  the  Land  of  the  Plague, 
the  Land  of  Famine,  the  Land  of  Giant  Illusions,  the  Land  of 
Stupendous  Mountains,  and  so  forth,  another  specialty  crops 
up  and  another  tag  is  required.  I  have  been  overlooking  the 
fact  that  India  is  by  an  unapproachable  supremacy  --the  Land 
of  Murderous  "Wild  Creatures.  Perhaps  it  will  be  simplest  to 
throw  away  the  tags  and  generalize  her  with  one  all-compre- 
hensive name,  as  the  Land  of  Wonders. 

For  many  years  the  British  Indian  (Government  has  been 
trying  to  destroy  the  murderous  wild  creatures,  and  has  spent 
a  great  deal  of  money  in  the  effort.  The  annual  official 
returns  show  that  the  undertaking  is  a  difficult  one. 

These  returns  exhibit  a  curious  annual  uniformity  in  results; 
the  sort  of  uniformity  which  you  find  in  the  annual  output  of 
suicides  in  the  world's  capitals,  and  the  proportions  of  deaths 
by  this,  that,  and  the  other  disease.  You  can  always  come 
close  to  foretelling  how  many  suicides  will  occur  in  Paris, 
London,  and  New  York,  next  year,  and  also  how  many  deaths 
will  result  from  cancer,  consumption,  dog-bite,  falling  out  of 

(•"344) 


THE   LAND   OF   MURDEROUS    WILD   CREATURES.         545 

the  window,  getting  run  over  by  cabs,  etc.,  if  you  know  the 
statistics  of  those  matters  for  the  present  year.  In  the  same 
way,  with  one  year's  Indian  statistics  before  you,  you  can 
guess  closely  at  how  many  people  were  killed  in  that  Empire 
by  tigers  during  the  previous  year,  and  the  year  before  that, 
and  the  year  before  that,  and  at  how  many  were  killed  in  each 
of  those  years  by  bears,  how  many  by  wolves,  and  how  many 
by  snakes  ;  and  you  can  also  guess  closely  at  how  many  people 
are  going  to  be  killed  each  year  for  the  coming  five  years  by 
each  of  those  agencies.  You  can  also  guess  closely  at  how 
many  of  each  ao-encv  the  government  is  going  to  kill  each 
year  for  the  next  five  years. 

I  have  before  me  statistics  covering  a  period  of  six  consec- 
utive vears.  By  these,  I  know  that  in  India  the  tiger  kills 
something  over  800  persons  every  year,  and  that  the  govern- 
ment responds  by  killing  about  double  as  many  tigers  every 
year.  In  four  of  the  six  years  referred  to,  the  tiger  got  son 
odd  ;  in  one  of  the  remaining  two  years  he  £-ot  only  7i»i».  but  in 
the  other  remaining  year  he  made  his  average  good  by  scoring 
917.     He  is  always  sure   of  his  average.     Anyone  who  bets 

i  CD  ti 

that  the  tiger  will  kill  2,400  people  in  India  in  any  three 
consecutive  years  has  invested  his  money  in  a  certainty ;  any- 
one  who  bets  that  he  will  kill  2,600  in  any  three  consecutive 
years,  is  absolutely  sure  to  lose. 

As  strikingly  uniform  as  are  the  statistics  of  suicide,  they 

CD    «.  */ 

are  not  any  more  so  than  are  those  of  the  tiger's  annual  out- 
put of  slaughtered  human  beings  in  India,  The  government's 
work  is  quite  uniform,  too  ;  it  about  doubles  the  tiger's  aver- 
age. In  six  years  the  tiger  killed  5,000  persons,  minus  50  ;  in 
the  same  six  years  10,000  tigers  were  killed,  minus  400. 

The  wolf  kills  nearly  as  many  people  as  the  tiger--  "00  a 
year  to  the  tigers  800  odd  —  but  while  he  is  doing  it,  more 
than  5,000  of  his  tribe  fall. 
35 


54:6  FOLLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

The  leopard  kills  an  average  of  230  people  per  year,  but 
loses  3,300  of  his  own  mess  while  he  is  doing  it. 

The  bear  kills  100  people  per  year  at  a  cost  of  1,250  of  his 
own  tribe. 

The  tiger,  as  the  figures  show,  makes  a  very  handsome 
fight  against  man.  Bat  it  is  nothing  to  the  elephant's  fight. 
The  king  of  beasts,  the  lord  of  the  jungle,  loses  four  of  his 
mess  per  year,  but  he  kills  forty-five  persons  to  make  up  for  it. 

But  when  it  conies  to  killing  cattle,  the  lord  of  the  jungle 
is  not  interested.  lie  kills  but  100  in  six  years — horses  of 
hunters,  no  doubt  -  -  but  in  the  same  six  the  tiger  kills  more 
than  84,000,  the  leopard  100,000,  the  bear  4,000,  the  wolf 
70,000,  the  hyena  more  than  13,0(1(1,  other  wild  beasts  27,000, 
and  the  snakes  19,000,  a  grand  total  of  more  than  300,000  ;  an 
average  of  50,(X>0  head  per  year. 

In  response,  the  government  kills,  in  the  six  years,  a  total 
of  3,201,232  wild  beasts  and  snakes.     Ten  for  one. 

It  will  be  perceived  that  the  snakes  are  not  much  interested 
in  cattle  ;  they  kill  only  3,000  odd  per  year.  The  snakes  are 
much  more  interested  in  man.  India  swarms  with  deadly 
snakes.  At  the  head  of  the  list  is  the  cobra,  the  deadliest 
known  to  the  world,  a  snake  whose  bite  kills  where  the  rattle- 
snake's bite  merely  entertains. 

In  India,  the  annual  man-killings  by  snakes  are  as  uniform, 
as  regular,  and  as  forecastable  as  are  the  tiger-average  and  the 
suicide-average.  Anvone  who  bets  that  in  India,  in  any  three 
consecutive  years  the  snakes  will  kill  49,500  persons,  will  win 
his  bet ;  and  anyone  who  bets  that  in  India  in  any  three  con- 
secutive years,  the  snakes  will  kill  53,500  persons,  will  lose  his 
bet.  In  India  the  snakes  kill  17,000  people  a  year;  they 
hardly  ever  fall  short  of  it ;  they  as  seldom  exceed  it.  An 
insurance  actuary  could  take  the  Indian  census  tables  and  the 
government's  snake  tables  and  tell  you  within  sixpence  how 
much  it  would  be  worth  to  insure  a  man  against  death  by 


SPECULATION  ON  THE   SNAKE  CROP.  547 

snake-bite  there.  If  I  had  a  dollar  for  every  person  killed  per 
year  in  India,  I  would  rather  have  it  than  any  other  property, 
as  it  is  the  only  property  in  the  world  not  subject  to  shrinkage. 

I  should  like  to  have  a  royalty  on  the  government-end  of 
the  snake  business,  too,  and  am  in  London  now  trying  to  get 
it ;  but  when  I  get  it  it  is  not  going  to  be  as  regular  an  income 
as  the  other  will  be  if  I  get  that ;  I  have  applied  for  it.  The 
snakes  transact  their  end  of  the  business  in  a  more  orderly  and 
systematic  way  than  the  government  transacts  its  end  of  it, 
because  the  snakes  have  had  a  long  experience  and  know^  all 
about  the  traffic.  You  can  make  sure  that  the  government 
will  never  kill  fewer  than  110,000  snakes  in  a  year,  and  that  it 
will  never  quite  reach  300,000  —  too  much  room  for  oscillation  ; 
good  speculative  stock,  to  bear  or  bull,  and  buy  and  sell  long 
and  short,  and  all  that  kind  of  thing,  but  not  eligible  for  invest- 
ment like  the  other.  The  man  that  speculates  in  the  govern- 
ment's snake  crop  wants  to  go  carefully.  I  would  not  advise 
a  man  to  buy  a  single  crop  at  all  —  I  mean  a  crop  of  futures  — 
for  the  possible  wobble  is  something  quite  extraordinary.  If 
he  can  buy  six  future  crops  in  a  bunch,  seller  to  deliver 
1,500,000  altogether,  that  is  another  matter.  I  do  not  know 
what  snakes  are  worth  now,  but  I  know  what  they  would  be 
worth  then,  for  the  statistics  show  that  the  seller  could  not 
come  within  427,000  of  carrying  out  his  contract.  However,  I 
think  that  a  person  who  speculates  in  snakes  is  a  fool,  anyway. 
He  always  regrets  it  afterwards. 

To  finish  the  statistics.  In  six  years  the  wild  beasts  kill 
20,000  persons,  and  the  snakes  kill  103,000.  In  the  same  six 
the  government  kills  1,073,546  snakes.     Plenty  left. 

There  are  narrow  escapes  in  India,  In  the  very  jungle 
where  I  killed  sixteen  tigers  and  all  those  elephants,  a  cobra 
bit  me  but  it  got  well;  everyone  was  surprised.  This  could 
not  happen  twice  in  ten  years,  perhaps.  Usually  death  would 
result  in  fifteen  minutes. 


548  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

We  struck  out  westward  or  northwestward  from  Calcutta 
on  an  itinerary  of  a  zig-zag  sort,  which  would  in  the  course  of 
time  carry  us  across  India  to  its  northwestern  corner  and  the 
border  of  Afghanistan.  The  first  part  of  the  trip  carried  us 
through,  a  great  region  which  was  an  endless  garden  —  miles 
and  miles  of  the  beautiful  flower  from  whose  juices  conies  the 
opium,  and  at  Muzaffurpore  we  were  in  the  midst  of  the  indigo 
culture;  thence  by  a  branch  road  to  the  Ganges  at  a  point 
near  Dinapore,  and  by  a  train  which  would  have  missed  the 
connection  by  a  week  but  for  the  thoughtfulness  of  some 
British  officers  ayIio  were  along,  and  who  knew  the  ways  of 
trains  that  are  run  by  natives  without  white  supervision. 
This  train  stopped  at  every  village;  for  no  purpose  connected 
with  business,  apparently.  We  put  out  nothing,  we  took 
nothing  aboard.  The  train  hands  stepped  ashore  and  gossiped 
with  friends  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  then  pulled  out  and  repeated 
this  at  the  succeeding  villages.  We  had  thirty-five  miles  to  go 
and  six  hours  to  do  it  in,  but  it  was  plain  that  we  were  not 
going  to  make  it.  It  was  then  that  the  English  officers  said  it 
was  now  necessary  to  turn  this  gravel  train  into  an  express. 
So  they  gave  the  engine-driver  a  rupee  and  told  him  to  fly. 
It  was  a  simple  remedy.  After  that  we  made  ninety  miles  an 
hour.  We  crossed  the  Ganges  just  at  dawn,  made  our  connec- 
tion, and  went  to  Benares,  where  we  stayed  twenty-four  hours 
and  inspected  that  strange  and  fascinating  piety-hive  again ; 
then  left  for  Lucknow,  a  city  which  is  perhaps  the  most  con- 
spicuous of  the  many  monuments  of  British  fortitude  and  valor 
that  are  scattered  about  the  earth. 

The  heat  was  pitiless,  the  flat  plains  were  destitute  of  grass, 
and  baked  dry  by  the  sun  they  were  the  color  of  pale  dust, 
which  was  flying  in  clouds.  But  it  was  much  hotter  than 
this  when  the  relieving  forces  marched  to  Lucknow  in  the  time 
of  the  Mutiny,     Those  were  the  days  of  138°  in  the  shade. 


CHAPTER   LVIII. 

Make  it,  a  point  to  do  something  every  day  that  you  don't  want  to  do.     This  is 
the  golden  rule  for  acquiring  the  habit  of  doing  your  duty  without  pain. 

—  PudcPrihead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

IT  seems  to  be  settled,  now,  that  among  the  many  causes 
from  which  the  Great  Mutiny  sprang,  the  main  one  was 
the  annexation  of  the  kingdom  of  Oudh  by  the  East  India 
Company — characterized  by  Sir  Henry  Lawrence  as  "the 
most  unrighteous  act  that  was  ever  committed."  In  the 
spring  of  1857,  a  mutinous  spirit  was  observable  in  many  of 
the  native  garrisons,  and  it  grew  day  by  day  and  spread  wider 
and  wider.  The  younger  military  men  saw  something  very 
serious  in  it,  and  would  have  liked  to  take  hold  of  it  vigorously 
and  stamp  it  out  promptly  ;  but  they  were  not  in  authority. 
Old  men  were  in  the  high  places  of  the  army --men  who 
should  have  been  retired  long  before,  because  of  their  great 
age  —  and  they  regarded  the  matter  as  a  thing  of  no  conse- 
quence. They  loved  their  native  soldiers,  and  would  not 
believe  that  anything  could  move  them  to  revolt.  Every- 
where these  obstinate  veterans  listened  serenely  to  the  rum- 
bling of  the  volcanoes  under  them,  and  said  it  was  nothing. 

And  so  the  propagators  of  mutiny  had  everything  their 
own  way.  They  moved  from  camp  to  camp  undisturbed,  and 
painted  to  the  native  soldier  the  wrongs  his  people  were  suffer- 
ing' at  the  hands  of  the  English,  and  made  his  heart  burn  for 
revenge.  They  were  able  to  point  to  two  facts  of  formidable 
value  as  backers  of  their  persuasions :  In  Clive's  day,  native 
armies   were   incoherent  mobs,  and   without   effective   arms; 

(549) 


550  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

therefore,  they  were  weak  against  Olive's  organized  handful  of 
well-armed  men,  but  the  thing  was  the  other  way,  now.  The 
British  forces  were  native  ;  they  had  been  trained  by  the 
British,  organized  by  the  British,  armed  by  the  British,  all  the 
power  was  in  their  hands —  they  were  a  club  made  by  British 
hands  to  beat  out  British  brains  with.  There  was  no  thine:  to 
oppose  their  mass,  nothing  but  a  few  weak  battalions  of  Brit- 
ish soldiers  scattered  about  India,  a  force  not  worth  speaking 
of.  This  argument,  taken  alone,  might  not  have  succeeded, 
for  the  bravest  and  best  Indian  troops  had  a  wholesome  dread 
of  the  white  soldier,  whether  he  was  weak  or  strong ;  but  the 
agitators  backed  it  with  their  second  and  best  point  — proph- 
ecy —  a  prophecy  a  hundred  years  old.  The  Indian  is  open  to 
prophecy  at  all  times  ;  argument  may  fail  to  convince  him,  but 
not  prophecy.  There  was  a  prophecy  that  a  hundred  years 
from  the  year  of  that  battle  of  Olive's  which  founded  the 
British  Indian  Empire,  the  British  power  would  be  overthrown 
and  swept  away  by  the  natives. 

The  Mutiny  broke  out  at  Meerut  on  the  10th  of  May,  1857, 
and  fired  a  train  of  tremendous  historical  explosions.  Nana 
Sahib's  massacre  of  the  surrendered  garrison  of  Cawnpore 
occurred  in  June,  and  the  long  siege  of  Lucknow  began.  The 
military  history  of  England  is  old  and  great,  but  I  think  it 
must  be  granted  that  the  crushing  of  the  Mutiny  is  the  great- 
est chapter  in  it.  The  British  Avere  caught  asleep  and  unpre- 
pared. They  were  a  few  thousands,  swallowed  up  in  an  ocean 
of  hostile  populations.  It  would  take  months  to  inform  Eng- 
land and  get  help,  but  they  did  not  falter  or  stop  to  count  the 
odds,  but  with  English  resolution  and  English  devotion  they 
took  up  their  task,  and  went  stubbornly  on  with  it,  through 
good  fortune  and  bad,  and  fought  the  most  unpromising 
fight  that  one  may  read  of  in  fiction  or  out  of  it,  and  won  it 
thoroughly. 


THE  BREAKING   OUT   OF   THE   MUTINY.  55] 

The  Mutiny  broke  out  so  suddenly,  and  spread  with  such 

rapidity  that  there   was  but    little  time  for  occupants  of  weak 

outlying  stations  to  escape  to  places  of  safety.     Attempts  were 

made,  of  course,  but  they  were  attended  by  hardships  as  bitter 

as  death  in  the  few  cases  which  were  successful ;  for  the  heat 

ranged  between  120  and  138  in  the  shade  ;  the  way  led  through 

hostile  peoples,  and   food   and   water  were  hardly   to  be  had. 

For  ladies  and  children  accustomed  to  ease  and  comfort  and 

plenty,  such  a  journey  must  have  been    a  cruel  experience. 

Sir  G.  ( ).  Trevelyan  quotes  an  example: 

"This  is  what  befell   Mrs.  M .  the  wife  of  the  surgeon  at  a  certain 

station  on  the  southern  confines  of  the  insurrection.  '  I  heard,'  she  says,  'a 
number  of  shots  tired,  and,  looking  out,  I  saw  my  husband  driving  furiously 
from  the  mess-house,  waving  Ins  whip.  I  ran  to  him,  and,  seeing  a  bearer 
witli  my  child  in  his  arms,  1  caught  her  up,  and  got  into  the  buggy.  At  the 
mess-house  we  found  all  the  officers  assembled,  together  with  sixty  sepoys, 
who  had  remained  faithful.  We  went  oif  in  one  large  party,  amidst  a  general 
conflagration  of  our  late  homes.  We  reached  the  caravanserai  at  Chattapore 
the  next  morning,  and  thence  started  for  Callinger.  At  this  point  our  sepoy 
escort  deserted  us.  We  were  tired  upon  by  matchlockmen,  and  one  officer  was 
shot  dead.      We  heard,  likewise,  that  the  people  had  risen  at  Callinger,  so  we 

returned  and  walked  back  ten  miles  that  day.     M and  I  carried  the  child 

alternately.  Presently  Mrs.  Smalley  died  of  sunstroke.  We  had  no  food 
amongst  us.  An  officer  kindly  lent  us  a  horse.  We  were  very  faint.  The 
Major  died,  and  was  buried  ;  also  the  Sergeant-major  and  some  women.  The 
bandsmen  left  us  on  the  nineteenth  of  June.  We  were  tired  at  again  by  match 
lockmen.  and  changed  direction  for  Allahabad.  Our  party  consisted  of  nine 
gentlemen,  two  children,  the  sergeant  and  his  wife.  On  the  morning  of  the 
twentieth,  Captain  Scott  took  Lottie  on  to  Ins  horse.  I  was  riding  behind  my 
husband,  and  she  was  so  crushed  between  us.  She  was  two  years  old  on  the 
first  of  the  month.  We  were  both  weak  through  want  of  food  and  the  effect 
of  the  sun.  Lottie  and  I  had  no  head  covering.  M— — had  a  sepoy's  cap  I 
found  on  the  ground.  Soon  after  sunrise  we  were  followed  by  villagers 
armed  with  clubs  and  spears.  One  of  them  struck  Captain  Scott's  horse  on 
the  leg.  He  galloped  off  with  Lottie,  and  my  poor  husband  never  saw  his 
child  again.     We  rode  on  several  miles,  keeping  away  from  villages,  and  then 

crossed  the  river.     Our  thirst  was  extreme.     M had  dreadful  cramps,  so 

that  I  had  to  hold  him  on  the  horse.  I  was  very  uneasy  about  him.  The  day 
before  I  saw  the  drummer's  wife  eating  chupatties,  and  asked  her  to  give  a 
piece   to   the   child,   which  she    did.     I   now  saw    water  in    a    ravine.     The 

descent  was  steep,  and  our  only  drinking- vessel  was  M 's  cap.     Our  horse 

got  water,  and  I  bathed  my  neck.  I  had  no  stockings,  and  my  feet  were  torn 
and  blistered.     Two  peasants  came  in  sight,  and  we  were  frightened  and  rode 


552  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

off.     The  sergeant  held  our  horse,  and  M put  me  up  and  mounted.     I  think 

lie  must  have  got  suddenly  faint,  for  I  fell  and  he  over  me,  on  the  road,  when 
the  horse  started  off.  Some  time  before  he  said,  and  Barber,  too,  that  he 
could  not  live  many  hours  I  felt  he  was  dying  before  we  came  to  the  ravine. 
He  told  me  his  wishes  about  his  children  and  myself,  and  took  leave.  My 
brain  seemed  burnt  up.  No  tears  came.  As  soon  as  we  fell,  the  sergeant  let 
go  the  horse,  and  it  went  off  ;  so  that  escape  was  cut  off.  We  sat  down  on 
the  ground  waiting  for  death.  Poor  fellow  !  he  was  very  weak  ;  his  thirst 
was  frightful,  and  I  went  to  get  him  water.  Some  villagers  came,  and  took 
my  rupees  and  watch.  I  took  off  my  wedding-ring,  and  twisted  it  in  my 
hair,  and  replaced  the  guard.  I  tore  off  the  skirt  of  my  dress  to  bring  water 
in,  but  was  no  use,  for  when  I  returned  my  beloved's  eyes  were  fixed,  and, 
though  I  called  and  tried  to  restore  him,  and  poured  water  into  his  mouth,  it 
only  rattled  in  his  throat.  He  never  spoke  to  me  again.  I  held  him  in  my 
arms  till  he  sank  gradually  down.  I  felt  frantic,  but  could  not  cry.  I  was 
alone.  I  bound  his  head  and  face  in  my  dress,  for  there  was  no  earth  to  bury 
him.  The  pain  in  my  hands  and  feet  was  dreadful.  I  went  down  to  the 
ravine,  and  sat  in  the  water  on  a  stone,  hoping  to  get  off  at  night  and  look  for 
Lottie.  When  I  came  back  from  the  water,  I  saw  that  they  had  not  taken 
her  little  watch,  chain,  and  seals,  so  I  tied  them  under  my  petticoat.  In  an 
hour,  about  thirty  villagers  came,  they  dragged  me  out  of  the  ravine,  and 
took  off  my  jacket,  and  found  the  little  chain.  They  then  dragged  me  to  a 
village,  mocking  me  all  the  way,  and  disputing  as  to  whom  I  was  to  belong 
to.  The  whole  population  came  to  look  at  me  I  asked  for  a  bedstead,  and 
lay  down  outside  the  door  of  a  hut.  They  had  a  dozen  of  cows,  and  yet 
refused  me  milk.  When  night  came,  and  the  village  was  quiet,  some  old 
woman  brought  me  a  leafful  of  rice.  I  was  too  parched  to  eat,  and  they 
gave  me  water.  The  morning  after  a  neighboring  Rajah  sent  a  palanquin 
and  a  horseman  to  fetch  me,  who  told  me  that  a  little  child  and  three  Sahibs 
had  come  to  his  master's  house.  And  so  the  poor  mother  found  her  lost  one, 
'greatly  blistered,'  poor  little  creature.  It  is  not  for  Europeans  in  India  to 
pray  that  their  flight  be  not  in  the  winter!" 

In   the   first  days    of  June  the  aged   general,    Sir  Hugh 

AVheeler  commanding  the  forces  at  Cawnpore,  was  deserted  by 

his  native  troops;  then  he  moved  out  of  the  fort  and  into  an 

exposed  patch  of  open  flat  ground  and  built  a  four-foot  mud 

wall   around   it.      He   had  with  him    a   few   hundred   white 

soldiers  and  officers,  and  apparently  more  women  and  children 

than  soldiers.     Tie  was  short  of  provisions,  short  of  arms,  short 

of  ammunition,  short  of  military  wisdom,  short  of  evervthino- 

but  courage  and  devotion  to  duty.     The  defense  of  that  open 

lot   through  twentv-one  days   and  nights   of   hunger,    thirst, 

Indian  heat,  and  a  never-ceasing  storm  of  bullets,  bombs,  and 


THE   DEFENSE   OF   CAWNPORE.  553 

cannon-balls  —  a  defense  conducted,  not  by  the  aged  and  infirm 

general,  but  by  a  voting  officer  named  Moore  —  is  one  of  the 

most  heroic  episodes  in  history.     When  at  last  the  Nana  found 

it  impossible  to  conquer  these  starving  men  and  women  with 

powder  and  ball,  he  resorted  to  treachery,  and  that  succeeded. 

lie   agreed   to   supply   them    with   food   and    send    them   to 

Allahabad  in  boats.     Their  mud  wall  and  their  barracks  were 

in  ruins,  their  provisions  were  at  the  point  of  exhaustion,  they 

had  done  all  that  the  brave  could  do,  they  had  conquered  an 

honorable  compromise,  their  forces  had  been  fearfully  reduced 

by  casualties  and   by  disease,  they  were  not  able  to  continue 

the  contest  longer.     They  came  forth  helpless  but  suspecting 

no  treachery,  the  Nana's  host  closed  around  them,  and  at  a 

signal   from   a   trumpet    the   massacre    began.      About    two 

hundred  women  and  children  were  spared --for  the  present  — 

but  all  the  men  except  three  or  four  were  killed.     Among  the 

incidents  of  the  massacre  quoted  by  Sir  G.  O.  Trevelyan,  is 

this : 

"  When,  after  the  lapse  of  some  twenty  minutes,  the  dead  began  to  out- 
number the  living  ;  —  when  the  fire  slackened,  as  the  marks  grew  few  and  far 
between  ;  then  the  troopers  who  had  been  drawn  up  to  the  right  of  the  temple 
plunged  into  the  river,  sabre  between  teeth,  and  pistol  in  hand.  Thereupon 
two  half-caste  Christian  women,  the  wives  of  musicians  in  the  band  of  the 
Fifty-sixth,  witnessed  a  scene  which  should  not  be  related  at  second-hand. 
'  In  the  boat  where  I  was  to  have  gone,'  says  Mrs.  Bradshaw,  confirmed 
throughout  by  Mrs.  Setts,  '  was  the  school-mistress  and  twenty -two  misses. 
General  Wheeler  came  last  in  a  palkee.  They  carried  him  into  the  water 
near  the  boat.  I  stood  close  by.  He  said,  '  Carry  me  a  little  further  towards 
the  boat.'  But  a  trooper  said,  '  No,  get  out  here.'  As  the  General  got  out  of 
the  palkee,  headforemost,  the  trooper  gave  him  a  cut  with  his  sword  into  the 
neck,  and  he  fell  into  the  water.  My  son  was  killed  near  him.  I  saw  it ; 
alas!  alas!  Some  were  stabbed  with  bayonets;  others  cut  down.  Little  in- 
fants were  torn  in  pieces.  We  saw  it;  we  did;  and  tell  you  only  what  we 
saw.  Other  children  were  stabbed  and  thrown  into  the  river.  The  school- 
girls were  burnt  to  death.  I  saw  their  clothes  and  hair  catch  fire.  In  the 
water,  a  few  paces  off,  by  the  next  boat,  we  saw  the  youngest  daughter  of 
Colonel  Williams.  A  sepoy  was  going  to  kill  her  with  his  bayonet.  She 
said,  'My  father  was  always  kind  to  sepoys.'  He  turned  away,  and  just 
then  a  villager  struck  her  on  the  head  with  a  club,  and  she  fell  into  the  water 
These  people  likewise  saw  good  Mr.  Moncrieff,  the  clergyman,  take  a  book 


554  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

from  his  pocket  that  he  never  had  leisure  to  open,  and  heard  him  commence 
a  prayer  for  mercy  which  he  was  not  permitted  to  conclude.  Another  de- 
ponent observed  an  European  making  for  a  drain  like  a  scared  water-rat, 
when  some  boatmen,  armed  with  cudgels,  cut  off  his  retreat,  and  beat  him 
down  dead  into  the  mud." 

The  women  and  children  who  had  been  reserved  from  the 
massacre  were  imprisoned  during  a  fortnight  in  a  small  build- 
ing, one  story  high  —  a  cramped  place,  a  slightly  modified 
Black  Hole  of  Calcutta.  They  were  waiting  in  suspense; 
there  was  none  who  could  forecaste  their  fate.  Meantime  the 
news  of  the  massacre  had  traveled  far  and  an  army  of  rescuers 
with  Havelock  at  its  head  was  on  its  way  —  at  least  an  army 
which  hoped  to  be  rescuers.  It  was  crossing  the  country  by 
forced  marches,  and  strewing  its  way  with  its  own  dead  — 
men  struck  down  by  cholera,  and  by  a  heat  which  reached 
135°.  It  was  in  a  vengeful  fury,  and  it  stopped  for  nothing  — 
neither  heat,  nor  fatigue,  nor  disease,  nor  human  opposition. 
It  tore  its  impetuous  way  through  hostile  forces,  winning  vic- 
tory after  victory,  but  still  striding  on  and  on,  not  halting  to 
count  results.  And  at  last,  after  this  extraordinary  march,  it 
arrived  before  the  walls  of  Cawnpore,  met  the  ISana's  massed 
strength,  delivered  a  crushing  defeat,  and  entered. 

But  too  late  — ■  only  a  few  hours  too  late.     For  at  the  last 

moment   the   Nana   had   decided   upon   the  massacre  of   the 

captive   women   and    children,   and    had    commissioned   three 

Mohammedans  and  two  Hindoos  to  do  the  work.     Sir  G.  ( ). 

Trevelyan  says : 

"Thereupon  the  five  men  entered.  It  was  the  short  gloaming  of  Hindo- 
stan  —  the  hour  when  ladies  take  their  evening  drive.  She  who  had  accosted 
the  officer  was  standing  in  the  doorway.  With  her  were  the  native  doctor 
and  two  Hindoo  menials.  That  much  of  the  business  might  be  seen  from  the 
veranda,  but  all  else  was  concealed  amidst  the  interior  gloom.  Shrieks  and 
scuffling  acquainted  those  without  that  the  journeymen  were  earning  their 
hire.  Survur  Khan  soon  emerged  with  his  sword  broken  off  at  the  hilt.  He 
procured  another  from  the  Nana's  house,  and  a  few  minutes  after  appeared 
again  on  the  same  errand.  The  third  blade  was  of  better  temper  ;  or  perhaps 
the  thick  of  the  work  was  already  over.     By  the  time  darkness  had  closed  in, 


THE   MASSACRE   AT   CAWNPORE.  555 

the  men  came  forth  and  locked  up  the  house  for  the  night.  Then  the  screams 
ceased,  but  the  groans  lasted  till  morning. 

"  The  sun  rose  as  usual.  When  he  had  been  up  nearly  three  hours  the 
five  repaired  to  the  scene  of  their  labors  over  night.  They  were  attended  by 
a  few  sweepers,  who  proceeded  to  transfer  the  contents  of  the  house  to  a  dry 
well  situated  behind  some  trees  which  grew  hard  by.  '  The  bodies,'  says  one 
who  was  present  throughout,  '  were  dragged  out,  most  of  them  by  the  hair  of 
the  head.  Those  who  had  clothing  worth  taking  were  stripped.  Some  of  the 
women  were  alive.  I  cannot  say  how  many  ;  but  three  could  speak.  They 
prayed  for  the  sake  of  God  that  an  end  might  be  put  to  their  sufferings.  I 
remarked  one  very  stout  woman,  a  half-caste,  who  was  severely  wounded  in 
both  arms,  who  entreated  to  be  killed.  She  and  two  or  three  others  were 
placed  against  the  bank  of  the  cut  by  which  bullocks  go  down  in  drawing 
water.  The  dead  were  first  thrown  in.  Yes  :  there  was  a  great  crowd  look- 
ing on  ;  they  were  standing  along  the  walls  of  the  compound.  They  were 
principally  city  people  and  villagers.  Yes  :  there  were  also  sepoys.  Tltree 
boys  were  alive.  They  were  fair  children.  The  eldest,  I  think,  must  have  been 
six  or  seven,  and  the  youngest  five  years.  They  were  running  around  the 
well  (where  else  could  they  go  to  '?),  and  there  was  none  to  save  them.  No  : 
none  said  a  word  or  tried  to  save  them.' 

"  At  length  the  smallest  of  them  made  an  infantile  attempt  to  get  away. 
The  little  thing  had  been  frightened  past  bearing  by  the  murder  of  one  of  the 
surviving  ladies.  He  thus  attracted  the  observation  of  a  native  who  flung 
him  and  his  companions  down  the  well." 

The  soldiers  had  made  a  march  of  eighteen  days,  almost 
without  rest,  to  save  the  women  and  the  children,  and  now 
they  were  too  late  —  all  were  dead  and  the  assassin  had  flown. 
What  happened  then,  Trevelyan  hesitated  to  put  into  words. 
"  Of  what  took  place,  the  less  said  is  the  better/' 

Then  he  continues : 

"  But  there  was  a  spectacle  to  witness  which  might  excuse  much.  Those 
who,  straight  from  the  contested  field,  wandered  sobbing  through  the  rooms 
of  the  ladies'  house,  saw  what  it  were  well  could  the  outraged  earth  have 
straightway  hidden.  The  inner  apartment  was  ankle-deep  in  blood.  The 
plaster  was  scored  with  sword-cuts  ;  not  high  up  as  where  men  have  fought, 
but  low  down,  and  about  the  corners,  as  if  a  creature  had  crouched  to  avoid 
the  blow.  Strips  of  dresses,  vainly  tied  around  the  handles  of  the  doors,  sig- 
nified the  contrivance  to  which  feminine  despair  had  resorted  as  a  means  of 
keeping  out  the  murderers.  Broken  combs  were  there,  and  the  frills  of  chil- 
dren's trousers,  and  torn  cuffs  and  pinafores,  and  little  round  hats,  and  one  or 
two  shoes  with  burst  latchets,  and  one  or  two  daguerreotype  cases  with 
cracked  glasses.  An  officer  picked  up  a  few  curls,  preserved  in  a  bit  of  card- 
board, and  marked  'Ned's  hair,  with  love';  but  around  were  strewn  locks, 
some  near  a  yard  in  length,  dissevered,  not  as  a  keepsake,  by  quite  other 
scissors." 


55(5  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR, 

The  battle  of  Waterloo  was  fought  on  the  18th  of  June, 
1815.  I  do  not  state  this  fact  as  a  reminder  to  the  reader,  but 
as  news  to  him.  For  a  forgotten  fact  is  news  when  it  comes 
again.  Writers  of  books  have  the  fashion  of  whizzing  by  vast 
and  renowned  historical  events  with  the  remark,  *'  The  details 
of  this  tremendous  episode  are  too  familiar  to  the  reader  to 
need  repeating  here."  They  know  that  that  is  not  true.  It  is 
a  low  kind  of  flattery.  They  know  that  the  reader  has  for- 
gotten every  detail  of  it,  and  that  nothing  of  the  tremendous 
event  is  left  in  his  mind  but  a  vague  and  formless  luminous 
smudge.  Aside  from  the  desire  to  flatter  the  reader,  thev 
have  another  reason  for  making  the  remark  —  two  reasons 
indeed.  They  do  not  remember  the  details  themselves,  and  do 
not  want  the  trouble  of  hunting  them  up  and  copying  them 
out ;  also,  they  are  afraid  that  if  they  search  them  out  and 
print  them  they  will  be  scoffed  at  by  the  book-reviewers  for 
retelling  those  worn  old  things  which  are  familiar  to  everv- 
body.  They  should  not  mind  the  reviewer's  jeer ;  he  doesn't 
remember  any  of  the  worn  old  things  until  the  book  which  he 
is  reviewing  has  retold  them  to  him. 

I  have  made  the  quoted  remark  myself,  at  one  time  and 
another,  but  I  was  not  doing  it  to  flatter  the  reader ;  I  was 
merely  doing  it  to  save  work.  If  I  had  known  the  details  with- 
out brushing  up,  I  would  have  put  them  in  ;  but  I  didn't,  and 
I  did  not  want  the  labor  of  posting  myself ;  so  I  said,  "  The 
details  of  this  tremendous  episode  are  too  familiar  to  the  reader 
to  need  repeating  here/'  I  do  not  like  that  kind  of  a  lie  ;  still, 
it  does  save  work. 

I  am  not  trying  to  get  out  of  repeating  the  details  of  the 
Siege  of  Lucknow  in  fear  of  the  reviewer ;  I  am  not  leaving 
them  out  in  fear  that  they  would  not  interest  the  reader;  I  am 
leaving  them  out  partly  to  save  work ;  mainly  for  lack  of  room. 
It  is  a  pity,  too  ;  for  there  is  not  a  dull  place  anywhere  in  the 


great  storv. 


BEGINNING   OF   THE   MUTINY   AT   LUCKNOW.  557 

Ten  davs  before  the  outbreak  (May  LOth)  of  the  Mutiny, 
all  was  serene  at  Lucknow,  the  huge  capital  of  Oiulh,  the  king- 
dom which  had  recently  been  seized  by  the  India  Company. 
There  was  a  great  garrison,  composed  of  about  7,000  native 
troops  and  between  700  and  800  whites.  These  white  soldiers 
and  their  families  were  probably  the  only  people  of  their  race 
there  ;  at  their  elbow  was  that  swarming  population  of  warlike 
natives,  a  race  of  born  soldiers,  brave,  daring,  and  fond  of 
fighting.  On  high  ground  just  outside  the  city  stood  the 
palace  of  that  great  personage,  the  Resident,  the  representative 
of  British  power  and  authority.  It  stood  in  the  midst  of 
spacious  grounds,  with  its  due  complement  of  outbuildings, 
and  the  grounds  were  enclosed  by  a  wall — a  wall  not  for 
defense,  but  for  privacy.  The  mutinous  spirit  was  in  the  air, 
but  the  whites  were  not  afraid,  and  did  not  feel  much 
troubled. 

Then  came  the  outbreak  at  Meerut,  then  the  capture  of 
Delhi  by  the  mutineers;  in  June  came  the  three -weeks 
leaguer  of  Sir  Hugh  "Wheeler  in  his  open  lot  at  Cawnpore  - 
40  miles  distant  from  Lucknow  —  then  the  treacherous  massa- 
cre of  that  gallant  little  garrison  ;  and  now  the  great  revolt 
was  in  full  flower,  and  the  comfortable  condition  of  things  at 
Lucknow  was  instantly  changed. 

There  was  an  outbreak  there,  and  Sir  Henry  Lawrence 
marched  out  of  the  Residency  on  the  30th  of  June  to  put  it 
down,  but  was  defeated  with  heavy  loss,  and  had  difficulty  in 
getting  back  again.  That  night  the  memorable  siege  of  the 
Residency  —  called  the  sie°;e  of  Lucknow — began.  Sir  Henry 
was  killed  three  days  later,  and  Brigadier  Inglis  succeeded  him 
in  command. 

Outside  of  the  Residency  fence  was  an  immense  host  of 
hostile  and  confident  native  besiegers ;  inside  it  were  480  loval 
native  soldiers,  730  white  ones,  and  500  women  and  children. 


558  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

In  those  days  the  English  garrisons  always  managed  to  ham- 
per  themselves  sufficiently  with  women  and  children. 

The  natives  established  themselves  in  houses  close  at  hand 
and  began  to  rain  bullets  and  cannon-balls  into  the  Besidency ; 
and  this  they  kept  up,  night  and  day,  during  four  months  and 
a  half,  the  little  garrison  industriously  replying  all  the  time. 
The  women  and  children  soon  became  so  used  to  the  roar  of 
the  guns  that  it  ceased  to  disturb  their  sleep.  The  children 
imitated  siege  and  defense  in  their  play.  The  women  —  with 
any  pretext,  or  with  none  —  would  sally  out  into  the  storm- 
swept  grounds. 

The  defense  was  kept  up  week  after  week,  with  stubborn 
fortitude,  in  the  midst  of  death,  which  came  in  many  forms  — 
by  bullet,  small-pox,  cholera,  and  by  various  diseases  induced 
by  unpalatable  and  insufficient  food,  by  the  long  hours  of 
wearying  and  exhausting  overwork  in  the  daily  and  nightly 
battle  in  the  oppressive  Indian  heat,  and  by  the  broken  rest 
caused  by  the  intolerable  pest  of  mosquitoes,  flies,  mice,  rats, 
and  fleas. 

Six  weeks  after  the  beginning  of  the  siege  more  than  one- 
half  of  the  original  force  of  white  soldiers  was  dead,  and  close 
upon  three-fifths  of  the  original  native  force. 

But  the  fighting  went  on  just  the  same.  The  enemy 
mined,  the  English  counter-mined,  and,  turn  about,  they  blew 
up  each  other's  posts.  The  Besidency  grounds  were  honey- 
combed with  the  enemy's  tunnels.  Deadly  courtesies  were 
constantly  exchanged  —  sorties  by  the  English  in  the  night; 

*  O  €/  O  CD  s 

rushes  by  the  enemy  in  the  night  —  rushes  whose  purpose  was 
to  breach  the  walls  or  scale  them ;  rushes  which  cost  heavily, 
and  always  failed. 

The  ladies  got  used  to  all  the  horrors  of  war  —  the"  shrieks 
of  mutilated  men,  the  sight  of  blood  and  death.  Lady  Inglis 
makes  this  mention  in  her  diary : 


ft 


o 


THE   SIEGE.  501 

"Mrs.  Bruere's  nurse  was  carried  past  our  door  to-day.  wounded  in  the 
eye.  To  extract  the  bullet  it  was  found  necessary  to  take  out  the  eye  —  a 
fearful  operation.     Her  mistress  held  her  while  it  was  performed." 

The  first  relieving-  force  failed  to  relieve.  It  was  under 
Havelock  and  Outram,  and  arrived  when  the  siege  had  been 
going-  on  for  three  months.  It  fought  its  desperate  way  to 
Lucknow,  then  fought  its  way  through  the  city  against  odds  of 
a  hundred  to  one,  and  entered  the  Residency  ;  but  there  was 
not  enough  left  of  it,  then,  to  do  any  good.  It  lost  more  men 
in  its  last  fight  than  it  found  in  the  Residency  when  it  got  in. 
It  became  captive  itself. 

The  fighting  and  starving  and  dying  by  bullets  and  disease 
went  steadily  on.  Both  sides  fought  with  energy  and  industry. 
Captain  Birch  puts  this  striking  incident  in  evidence.  He  is 
speaking  of  the  third  month  of  the  siege  : 

"As  an  instance  of  the  heavy  firing  brought  to  bear  on  our  position  this 
month  may  be  mentioned  the  cutting  down  of  the  upper  story  of  a  brick 
building  simply  by  musketry  firing.  This  building  was  in  a  most  exposed 
position.  All  the  shots  which  just  missed  the  top  of  the  rampart  cut  into  the 
dead  wall  pretty  much  in  a  straight  line,  and  at  length  cut  right  through  and 
brought  the  upper  story  tumbling  clown.  The  upper  structure  on  the  top  of 
the  brigade-mess  also  fell  in.  The  Residency  house  was  a  wreck.  Captain 
Anderson's  post  had  long  ago  been  knocked  down,  and  Innes'  post  also  fell 
in.  These  two  were  riddled  with  round  shot.  As  many  as  200  were  picked 
up  by  Colonel  Masters." 

The  exhausted  garrison  fought  doggedly  on  all  through  the 
next  month  —  October.     Then,  November  2d,  news  came- 
Sir  Colin  Campbell's  relieving  force  would  soon  be  on  its  way 
from  Cawnpore. 

On  the  12th  the  boom  of  his  guns  was  heard. 

On  the  13th  the  sounds  came  nearer  —  he  was  slowly,  but 
steadily,  cutting  his  way  through,  storming  one  stronghold 
after  another. 

On  the  14th  he  captured  the  Martiniere  College,  and  ran  up 
the  British  flag  there.     It  was  seen  from  the  Residencv. 

Next  he  took  the  Dilkoosha. 
36 


5(>2  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

On  the  17th  he  took  the  former  mess-house  of  the  32d 
regiment  —  a  fortified  building,  and  very  strong.  "A  most 
exciting,  anxious  day,"  writes  Lady  Inglis  in  her  diary. 
"About  4  p.  m.,  two  strange  officers  walked  through  our  yard, 
leading  their  horses"  -and  by  that  sign  she  knew  that  com- 
munication was  established  between  the  forces,  that  the  relief 
was  real,  this  time,  and  that  the  long  siege  of  Lucknow  was 
ended. 

The  last  eight  or  ten  miles  of  Sir  Colin  Campbell's  march 
was  through  seas  of  blood.  The  weapon  mainly  used  was  the 
bayonet,  the  fighting  was  desperate.  The  way  was  mile- 
stoned  with  detached  strong  buildings  of  stone,  fortified,  and 
heavily  garrisoned,  and  these  had  to  be  taken  by  assault. 
Neither  side  asked  for  quarter,  and  neither  gave  it.  At  the 
Secundrabagh,  where  nearly  two  thousand  of  the  enemy  oc- 
cupied a  great  stone  house  in  a  garden,  the  work  of  slaughter 
was  continued  until  every  man  was  killed.  That  is  a  sample 
of  the  character  of  that  devastating  march. 

There  were  but  few  trees  in  the  plain  at  that  time,  and 
from  the  Residency  the  progress  of  the  march,  step  by  step, 
victory  by  victory,  could  be  noted ;  the  ascending  clouds  of 
battle-smoke  marked  the  way  to  the  eye,  and  the  thunder  of 
the  guns  marked  it  to  the  ear. 

Sir  Colin  Campbell  had  not  come  to  Lucknow  to  hold  it, 
but  to  save  the  occupants  of  the  Residency,  and  bring  them 
away.  Four  or  five  days  after  his  arrival  the  secret  evacua- 
tion by  the  troops  took  place,  in  the  middle  of  a  dark  night, 
by  the  principal  gate  (the  Bailie  Guard).  The  two  hundred 
women  and  two  hundred  and  fifty  children  had  been  previously 
removed.     Captain  Birch  says : 

"And  now  commenced  a  movement  of  the  most  perfect  arrangement  and 
successful  generalship  —  the  withdrawal  of  the  whole  of  the  various  forces,  a 
combined  movement  requiring  the  greatest  care  and  skill.  First,  the  garri- 
son in  immediate  contact  with  the  enemy  at  the  furthest  extremity  of  the 


SaB 


3 

t-1 

a 

o 
a 

> 

a 

o 


THE   EVACUATION   OF   LUCKNOW 


565 


Residency  position  was  marched  out.  Every  other  garrison  in  turn  fell  in 
behind  it.  and  so  passed  out  through  the  Bailie  Guard  gate,  till  the  whole  of 
our  position  was  evacuated.  Then  Havelock's  force  was  similarly  with- 
drawn, post  by  post,  marching  in  rear  of  our  garrison.  Alter  them  in  turn 
came  the  forces  of  the  Commander-in-Chief,  which  joined  on  in  the  rear  of 
Havelock's  force.  Regiment  by  regiment  was  withdrawn  with  the  utmost 
order  and  regularity.  The  whole  operation  resembled  the  movement  of  a 
telescope.     Stern  silence  was  kept,  and  the  enemy  took  no  alarm." 

Lady  Inglis,  referring  to  her  husband  and  to  General  Sir 

James  Ontrani,  sets  down  the  closing  detail  of  this  impressive 

midnight  retreat,  in  darkness  and  by  stealth,  of  this  shadowy 

host  through  the  gate  which  it  had  defended  so  long  and  so 

well : 

"At  twelve  precisely  they  marched  out.  John  and  Sir  James  Outram  re- 
maining till  all  had  passed,  and  then  they  took  off  their  hats  to  the  Bailie 
Guard,  the  scene  of  as  noble  a  defense  as  I  think  history  will  ever  have  to 
rojate." 


CHAPTER    LIX. 

Dou't  part  with  your  illusions.     When  they  are  gone  you  may  still  exist  but  you 
have  ceased  to  live. — Pudd'nTiead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

Often,  the  surest  way  to  convey  misinformation  is  to  tell  the  strict  truth. 

—  PudoVnfiead  Wilson's  X'  n:  Cuhndar. 


VE  were  driven  over  Sir  Colin  Campbell's  route  by  a 
British  officer,  and  when  I  arrived  at  the  Residency 
I  was  so  familiar  with  the  road  that  I  could  have  led  a 
retreat  over  it  myself ;  but  the  compass  in  my  head  has  been 
out  of  order  from  my  birth,  and  so,  as  soon  as  I  was  within  the 
battered  Bailie  Guard  and  turned  about  to  review  the  march 
and  imagine  the  relieving  forces  storming  their  way  along  it, 

©  ©  ©  *.  O  ' 

everything  was  upside  down  and  wrong  end  first  in  a  moment, 
and  I  was  never  able  to  get  straightened  out  again.  And 
now.  when  I  look  at  the  battle-plan,  the  confusion  remains. 
In  me  the  east  was  born  west,  the  battle-plans  which  have  the 
east  on  the  right-hand  side  are  of  no  use  to  me. 

The  Residency  ruins  are  draped  with  flowering  vines,  and 
are  impressive  and  beautiful.  They  and  the  grounds  are 
sacred  now,  and  will  suffer  no  neglect  nor  be  profaned  by  any 
sordid  or  commercial  use  while  the  British  remain  masters  of 
India.  Within  the  grounds  are  buried  the  dead  who  gave  up 
their  lives  there  in  the  lono-  siege. 

©  © 

After  a  fashion,  I  was  able  to  imagine  the  fiery  storm  that 

raged  night  and  day  over  the  place  during  so  many  months, 

and  after  a  fashion  I  could  imagine  the  men  moving  through 

it.  but  I  could  not  satisfactorily  place  the  200  women,  and  I 

could  do  nothing  at  all   with  the   250  children.     I  knew  by 

(567) 


Ml  -deife 


A  CONNECTING   LINK.  569 

Lady  Inglis'  diary  that  the  children  carried  on  their  small 
affairs  very  much  as  if  blood  and  carnage  and  the  crash  and 
thunder  of  a  siege  were  natural  and  proper  features  of  nursery 
life,  and  I  tried  to  realize  it ;  but  when  her  little  Johnny  came 
rushing,  all  excitement,  through  the  din  and  smoke,  shouting, 
"  Oh,  mamma,  the  white  hen  has  laid  an  egg  !  "  I  saw  that  I 
could  not  do  it.  Johnny's  place  was  under  the  bed.  I  could 
imagine  him  there,  because  I  could  imagine  myself  there  ;  and 
I  think  I  should  not  have  been  interested  in  a  hen  that  was  lay- 
ing an  egg ;  my  interest  would  have  been  with  the  parties  that 
were  laving  the  bombshells.  I  sat  at  dinner  with  one  of  those 
children  in  the  Club's  Indian  palace,  and  I  knew  that  all 
through  the  siege  he  was  perfecting  his  teething  and  learning 
to  talk ;  and  while  to  me  he  was  the  most  impressive  object 
in  Lucknow  after  the  Residency  ruins,  I  was  not  able  to  imag- 
ine what  his  life  had  been  during  that  tempestuous  infancy  of 
his,  nor  what  sort  of  a  curious  surprise  it  must  have  been  to 
him  to  be  marched  suddenly  out  into  a  strange  dumb  world 
where  there  wasn't  any  noise,  and  nothing  going  on.  He  was 
only  forty-one  when  I  saw  him,  a  strangely  youthful  link  to 
connect  the  present  with  so  ancient  an  episode  as  the  Great 
Mutiny. 

By  and  by  we  saw  Cawnpore,  and  the  open  lot  which  was 
the  scene  of  Moore's  memorable  defense,  and  the  spot  on  the 
shore  of  the  Ganges  where  the  massacre  of  the  betrayed  garri- 
son occurred,  and  the  small  Indian  temple  whence  the  bugle- 
signal  notified  the  assassins  to  fall  on.  This  latter  was  a 
lonely  spot,  and  silent.  The  sluggish  river  drifted  by,  almost 
currentless.  It  was  dead  low  water,  narrow  channels  with 
vast  sandbars  between,  all  the  way  across  the  wide  bed  ;  and 
>the  only  living  thing  in  sight  was  that  grotesque  and  solemn 
bald-headed  bird,  the  Adjutant,  standing  on  his  six-foot  stilts, 
solitarv  on    a  distant   bar,  with  his  head  sunk   between  his 


570  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

shoulders,  thinking;  thinking  of  his  prize,  I  suppose  —  the 
dead  Hindoo  that  lay  awash  at  his  feet,  and  whether  to  eat 
him  alone  or  invite  friends.  He  and  his  prey  were  a  proper 
accent  to  that  mournful  place.  They  were  in  keeping  with  it, 
they  emphasized  its  loneliness  and  its  solemnity. 

And  we  saw  the  scene  of  the  slaughter  of  the  helpless 
women  and  children,  and  also  the  costly  memorial  that  is  built 
over  the  well  which  contains  their  remains.  The  Black  Hole 
of  Calcutta  is  gone,  but  a  more  reverent  age  is  come,  and 
whatever  remembrancer  still  exists  of  the  moving  and  heroic 
sufferings  and  achievements  of  the  garrisons  of  Lucknow  and 
Cawnpore  will  be  guarded  and  preserved. 

In  Agra  and  its  neighborhood,  and  afterwards  at  Delhi,  we 
saw  forts,  mosques,  and  tombs,  which  were  built  in  the  great 
days  of  the  Mohammedan  emperors,  and  which  are  marvels  of 
cost,  magnitude,  and  richness  of  materials  and  ornamentation, 
creations  of  surpassing  grandeur,  wonders  which  do  indeed 
make  the  like  things  in  the  rest  of  the  world  seem  tame  and 
inconsequential  by  comparison.  I  am  not  purposing  to 
describe  them.  By  good  fortune  I  had  not  read  too  much 
about  them,  and  therefore  was  able  to  get  a  natural  and 
rational  focus  upon  them,  with  the  result  that  they  thrilled, 
blessed,  and  exalted  me.  But  if  I  had  previously  overheated 
my  imagination  by  drinking  too  much  pestilential  literary 
hot  Scotch,  I  should  have  suffered  disappointment  and  sorrow. 

I  mean  to  speak  of  only  one  of  these  many  world-renowned 
buildings,  the  Taj  Mahal,  the  most  celebrated  construction  in 
the  earth.  I  had  read  a  great  deal  too  much  about  it.  I  saw 
it  in  the  daytime,  I  saw  it  in  the  moonlight,  I  saw  it  near  at 
hand,  I  saw  it  from  a  distance ;  and  I  knew  all  the  time,  that 
of  its  kind  it  was  the  wonder  of  the  world,  with  no  competitor 
now  and  no  possible  future  competitor ;  and  yet,  it  was  not 
my  Taj.  My  Taj  had  been  built  by  excitable  literary  people ; 
it  was  solidly  lodged  in  my  head,  and  I  could  not  blast  it  out. 


A  LITERARY   TAJ.  571 

I  wish  to  place  before  the  reader  some  of  the  usual  descrip- 
tions of  the  Taj,  and  ask  him  to  take  note  of  the  impressions 
left  in  his  mind.  These  descriptions  do  really  state  the  truth 
-as  nearly  as  the  limitations  of  language  will  allow.  But 
language  is  a  treacherous  thing,  a  most  unsure  vehicle,  and  it 
can  seldom  arrange  descriptive  words  in  such  a  way  that  they 
will  not  inflate  the  facts  —  by  help  of  the  readers  imagination, 
which  is  always  ready  to  take  a  hand,  and  work  for  nothing, 
and  do  the  bulk  of  it  at  that. 

I  will  begin  with  a  few  sentences  from  the  excellent  little 

local  guide-book  of  Mr.  Satva  Chandra  Mukerji.     I  take  them 

from  here  and  there  in  his  description : 

"The  inlaid  work  of  the  Taj  and  the  flowers  and  petals  that  are  to  be 
found  on  all  sides  on  the  surface  of  the  marble  evince  a  most  delicate  touch." 

That  is  true. 

"The  inlaid  work,  the  marble,  the  flowers,  the  buds,  the  leaves,  the 
petals,  and  the  lotus  stems  are  almost  without  a  rival  in  the  whole  of  the  civ- 
ilized world." 

"Tlie  work  of  inlaying  with  stones  and  gems  is  found  in  the  highest  per- 
fection in  the  Taj." 

Gems,  inlaid  flowers,  buds,  and  leaves  to  be  found  on  all 

sides.     What  do  you  see  before  you  \     Is  the  fairy  structure 

growing  ?     Is  it  becoming  a  jewel  casket  I 

"The  whole  of  the  Taj  produces  a  wonderful  effect  that  is  equally  sub- 
lime and  beautiful." 

Then  Sir  William  Wilson  Hunter: 

'The  Taj  Mahal  with  its  beautiful  domes,  'a  dream  of  marble,'  rises  on 
the  river  bank." 

"  The  materials  are  white  marble  and  red  sandstone." 

"  The  complexity  of  its  design  and  the  delicate  intricacy  of  the  workman- 
ship baffle  description." 

Sir  William  continues.     I  will  italicize  some  of  his  words : 

'The  mausoleum  stands  on  a  raised  marble  platform  at  each  of  whose 
corners  rises  a  tall  and  slender  minaret  of  graceful  proportions  and  of  ex- 
quisite beauty.  Beyond  the  platform  stretch  the  two  wings,  one  of  which  is 
itself  a  mosque  of  great  architectural  merit.  In  the  center  of  the  whole  de- 
sign the  mausoleum  occupies  a  square  of  186  feet,  with  the  angles  deeply 
truncated  so  as  to  form  an  unequal  octagon.     The  main  feature  in  this  central 


572  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

pile  is  the  great  dome,  which  swells  upward  to  nearly  two-thirds  of  a  sphere 
and  tapers  at   its   extremity  into   a   pointed   spire   crowned   by  a   crescent. 
Beneath  it  an  enclosure  of  marble  trellis-work  surrounds  the  tomb  of  the 
princess  and  of  her  husband,  the  Emperor.     Each  corner  of  the  mausoleum  is 
covered  by  a  similar  though  much  smaller  dome  erected  on  a  pediment  pierced 
with  graceful  Saracenic  arches.     Light  is  admitted  into  the  interior  through  a 
double  screen  of  pierced  marble,  which  tempers  the  glare  of  an  Indian  sky 
while  its  whiteness  prevents  the  mellow  effect  from  degenerating  into  gloom. 
The  internal  decorations  consist  of  inlaid  work  in  precious  stones,  such  as  agate, 
jasper,  etc.,  with  which  every  squandril  or  salient  point  in  the  architecture  is 
richly  fretted.     Brown  and  violet  marble  is  also  freely  employed  in  wreaths, 
scrolls,  and  lintels  to  relieve  the  monotony  of  white  wall.     In  regard  to  color 
and  design,  the  interior  of  the  Taj  may  rank  first  in  the  world  for  purely  decora- 
tive workmanship  ;  while  the  perfect  symmetry  of  its  exterior,  once  seen  can 
never  be  forgotten,  nor  the  aerial  grace  of  its  domes,  rising  like  marble  bub- 
bles into  the  clear  sky.     The  Taj  represents  the  most  highly  elaborated  stage 
of  ornamentation  reached  by  the  Indo-Mohammedan  builders,  the  stage  in 
which  the  architect  ends  and  the  jeweler  begins.     In  its  magnificent  gateway 
the  diagonal  ornamentation  at  the  corners,  which  satisfied  the  designers  of  the 
gateways  of  Itimad-ud-doulah  and  Sikandra  mausoleums  is  superseded  by 
fine  marble  cables,  in  bold  twists,  strong  and  handsome.     The  triangular 
insertions  of  white  marble  and  large  flowers  have  in  like  manner  given  place 
to  fine  inlaid  work.     Firm  perpendicular  lines  in  black  marble  with  well  pro- 
portioned panels  of  the  same  material  are  effectively  used  in  the  interior  of  the 
gateway.     On   its    top   the   Hindu  brackets  and   monolithic   architraves  of 
Sikandra  are  replaced  by  Moorish  carped  arches,  usually  single  blocks  of  red 
sandstone,  in  the  Kiosks  and  pavilions  which  adorn  the  roof.     From  the  pil- 
lared pavilions  a  magnificent  view  is  obtained  of  the  Taj  gardens  below,  with 
the  noble  Jumna  river  at  their  farther  end,  and  the  city  and  fort  of  Agra  in 
the  distance.     From  this  beautiful  and  splendid  gateway  one  passes  up  a 
straight  alley  shaded  by  evergreen  trees  cooled  by  a  broad  shallow  piece  of 
water  running  along  the  middle  of  the  path  to  the  Taj  itself.     The  Taj  is 
entirely  of  marble  and  gems.     The  red  sandstone  of  the  other  Mohammedan 
buildings  has  entirely  disappeared,  or  rather  the  red  sandstone  which  used  to 
form  the  thickness  of  the  walls,  is  in  the  Taj  itself  overlaid  completely  with 
white  marble,  and  the  white  marble  is  itself  inlaid  withprecious  stones  arranged 
in  lovely  patterns  of  flowers.     A  feeling  of  purity  impresses  itself  on  the  eye 
and  the  mind  from  the  absence  of  the  coarser  material  which  forms  so  invari- 
able a  material  in  Agra  architecture.     The  lower  wall  and  panels  are  covered 
with  tulips,  oleanders,  and  full-blown  lilies,  in  fiat  carving  on  the  white  marble  ; 
and   although  tlie  inlaid  icork  of  flowers  done  in  gems  is  very  brilliant  when 
looked  at  closely,  there  is  on  the  whole  but  little  color,  and  the  all-prevailing 
sentiment  is  one  of  whiteness,  silence,  and  calm.     The  whiteness  is  broken 
only  by  the  fine  color  of  the  inlaid  gems,  by  lines  in  black  marble,  and  by 
delicately  written  inscriptions,  also  in  black,  from  the  Koran.     Under  the  dome 
of  the  vast  mausoleum  a  high  and  beautiful  screen  of  open  tracery  in  white 
marble  rises  around  the  two  tombs,  or  rather  cenotaphs  of  the  emperor  and 


THE   REAL  TAJ.  573 

his  princess  ;  and  in  this  marvel  of  marble  the  carving  has  advanced  from  the 
old  geometrical  patterns  to  a  trellis  work  of  flowers  and  foliage,  handled  with 
great  freedom  and  spirit.  The  two  cenotaphs  in  the  center  of  the  exquisite 
enclosure  have  no  carving  except  the  plain  Kalamdan  or  oblong  pen-box  on 
the  tomb  of  Emperor  Shah  Jehan.  But  both  cenotaphs  are  inlaid  with 
floicers  made  of  costly  gems,  and  with  the  ever  graceful  oleander  scroll." 

Bayard  Taylor,  after  describing  the  details  of  the  Taj,  goes 
on  to  say : 

"On  both  sides  the  palm,  the  banyan,  and  the  feathery  bamboo  mingle 
their  foliage :  the  song  of  birds  meets  your  ears,  and  the  odor  of  roses  and 
lemon  flowers  sweetens  the  air.  Down  such  a  vista  and  over  such  a  fore- 
ground rises  the  Taj.  There  is  no  mystery,  no  sense  of  partial  failure  about 
the  Taj.  ^i  thing  of  perfect  bumf)/  and  ofabsolutt  finish  in  every  detail,  it 
might  pass  for  the  work  of  genii  who  knew  naught  of  the  weaknesses  and  ills 
with  which  mankind  are  beset." 

All  of  these  details  are  true.  But,  taken  together,  they 
state  a  falsehood  —  to  you.  You  cannot  add  them  up  correctly. 
Those  writers  know  the  values  of  their  words  and  phrases,  but 
to  you  the  words  and  phrases  convey  other  and  uncertain 
values.  To  those  writers  their  phrases  have  values  which  I 
think  I  am  now  acquainted  with  ;  and  for  the  help  of  the 
reader  I  will  here  repeat  certain  of  those  words  and  phrases, 
and  follow  them  with  numerals  which  shall  represent  those 
values  —  then  we  shall  see  the  difference  between  a  writer's 
ciphering  and  a  mistaken  reader's  : 

Precious  stones,  such  as  agate,  jasper,  etc. — 5. 

With  which  >  vi  ry  salient  point  is  richly  fretted  —  5. 

First  in  the  world  for  purely  decorative  workmanship  —  9. 

T/c  Taj  represents  the  stage  when  the  architect  ends  and  tin 
jeweler  begins  —  5. 

The  Taj  is  >  ntirely  ofmarblt  and  gems  —  7. 

Inlaid  with  precious  stones  in  lovely  patterns  of  flowers — 5. 

TJit  inlaid  irorl-  <>f  \if<>n',  />.>■  <I<>n<  in  gems  is  very  brilliant  — 
(followed  by  a  most  important  modification  which  the  reader 
is  sure  to  read  too  carelessly)  —  2. 

The  vast  nunisnl,  n,n  — 7. 


574  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


This  marcel  of  marble  —  5. 

The  exquisite  enclosure  —  5. 

Inlaid  with  f<>  ice rs  made  of  costly  gems  —  o. 

A  thing  of  perfect  beauty  and  absolute  finish  — 5. 

Those  details  are  correct ;  the  figures  which  I  have  placed 

after    them    represent   quite    fairly   their   individual    values. 

Then  why,  as  a  whole,  do  they  convey  a  false  impression  to 

the  reader  %     It  is  because  the  reader  —  beguiled  by  his  heated 

imagination  —  masses  them  in   the  wrong  way.     The   writer 

would  mass  the  first  three  figures  in  the  following  way,  and 

they  would  speak  the  truth  : 

5 
5 
9 

Total  — 19 

But  the  reader  masses  them  thus  —  and  then  they  tell  a  lie 
-  550. 
The  writer  would  add  all  of  his  twelve  numerals  together, 
and  then  the  sum  would  express  the  whole  truth  about  the  Taj, 
and  the  truth  only  —  63. 

But  the  reader  —  always  helped  by  his  imagination  — 
would  put  the  figures  in  a  row  one  after  the  other,  and  get  this 
sum,  which  would  tell  him  a  noble  big  lie : 

559575255555. 

You  must  put  in  the  commas  yourself ;  I  have  to  go  on 
with  my  work. 

The  reader  will  always  be  sure  to  put  the  figures  together 
in  that  wrong  way,  and  then  as  surely  before  him  will  stand, 
sparkling  in  the  sun,  a  gem-crusted  Taj  tall  as  the  Matterhorn. 

I  had  to  visit  Niagara  fifteen  times  before  I  succeeded  in 
getting  my  imaginary  Falls  gauged  to  the  actuality  and  could 
begin  to  sanely  and  wholesomely  wonder  at  them  for  what  they 
were,  not  what  I  had  expected  them  to  be.     When  I  first  ap- 


AN   EXAGGERATED   NIAGARA. 


NIAGARA    FALLS.,  ;,77 

proached  them  it  was  with  my  face  lifted  toward  the  sky.  for 
I  thought  I  was  going  to  see  an  Atlantic  ocean  pouring  down 
thence  over  cloud-vexed  Himalayan  heights,  a  sea-green  wall 
of  water  sixty  miles  front  and  six  miles  high,  and  so,  when  the 
toy  reality  came  suddenly  into  view --that  beruffled  little  wet 
apron  hanging  out  to  dry-- the  shock  was  too  much  for  me, 
and  I  fell  with  a  dull  thud. 

Yet  slowly,  surely,  steadily,  in  the  course  of  my  fifteen  visits, 
the  proportions  adjusted  themselves  to  the  facts,  and  I  came  at 
last  to  realize  that  a  waterfall  a  hundred  and  sixty-five  feet 
high  and  a  quarter  of  a  mile  wide  was  an  impressive  thing.  It 
was  not  a  dipperful  to  my  vanished  great  vision,  but  it  would 
answer. 

I  know  that  I  ought  to  do  with  the  Taj  as  I  was  obliged  to 
do  with  Niagara  -see  it  fifteen  times,  and  let  my  mind  grad- 
ually get  rid  of  the  Taj  built  in  it  by  its  describers,  by  help  of 
my  imagination,  and  substitute  for  it  the  Tai  of  fact.  It 
would  be  noble  and  fine,  then,  and  a  marvel ;  not  the  marvel 
which  it  replaced,  but  still  a  marvel,  and  fine  enough.  I  am  a 
careless  reader,  I  suppose  —  an  impressionist  reader;  an  im- 
pressionist reader  of  what  is  not  an  impressionist  picture  ;  a 
reader  who  overlooks  the  informing  details  or  masses  their 
sum  improperly,  and  gets  only  a  large  splashy,  general  effect 
-  an  effect  which  is  not  correct,  and  which  is  not  warranted 
by  the  particulars  placed  before  me -- particulars  which  I  did 
not  examine,  and  whose  meanings  I  did  not  cautiously  and 
carefully  estimate.  It  is  an  effect  which  is  some  thirty-five  or 
forty  times  finer  than  the  reality,  and  is  therefore  a  great  deal 
better  and  more  valuable  than  the  reality ;  and  so,  I  ought 
never  to  hunt  up  the  reality,  but  stay  miles  away  from  it,  and 
thus  preserve  undamaged  my  own  private  mighty  Niagara 
tumbling  out  of  the  vault  of  heaven,  and  my  own  ineffable  Taj, 
37 


578  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

built  of  tinted  mists  upon  jeweled  arches  of  rainbows  supported 
by  colonnades  of  moonlight.  It  is  a  mistake  for  a  person  with 
an  unregulated  imagination  to  go  and  look  at  an  illustrious 
world's  wonder. 

I  suppose  that  many,  many  years  ago  I  gathered  the  idea 
that  the  Taj's  place  in  the  achievements  of  man  was  exactly 
the  place  of  the  ice-storm  in  the  achievements  of  Nature ;  that 
the  Taj  represented  man's  supremest  possibility  in  the  creation 
of  grace  and  beauty  and  exquisiteness  and  splendor,  just  as  the 
ice-storm  represents  Nature's  supremest  possibility  in  the  com- 
bination of  those  same  qualities.  I  do  not  know  how  long  ago 
that  idea,  was  bred  in  me,  but  I  know  that  I  cannot  remember 
back  to  a  time  when  the  thought  of  either  of  these  symbols  of 
gracious  and  unapproachable  perfection  did  not  at  once  suggest 
the  other.  If  I  thought  of  the  ice-storm,  the  Taj  rose  before 
me  divinely  beautiful ;  if  I  thought  of  the  Taj,  with  its  en- 
crustings  and  inlavings  of  jewels,  the  vision  of  the  ice-storm 
rose.  And  so,  to  me,  all  these  years,  the  Taj  has  had  no  rival 
among  the  temples  and  palaces  of  men,  none  that  even  re- 
motely approached  it  —  it  was  man's  architectural  ice-storm. 

Here  in  London  the  other  night  I  was  talking  with  some 
Scotch  and  English  friends,  and  I  mentioned  the  ice-storm, 
using  it  as  a  figure — a  figure  which  failed,  for  none  of  them 
had  heard  of  the  ice-storm.  One  gentleman,  who  was  very 
familiar  with  American  literature,  said  he  had  never  seen  it 
mentioned  in  any  book.  That  is  strange.  And  I,  myself,  was 
not  able  to  say  that  I  had  seen  it  mentioned  in  a  book;  and 
yet  the  autumn  foliage,  with  all  other  American  scenery,  has 
received  full  and  competent  attention. 

The  oversight  is  strange,  for  in  America  the  ice-storm  is  an 
event.  And  it  is  not  an  event  which  one  is  careless  about. 
When  it  comes,  the  news  flies  from  room  to  room  in  the 
house,  there  are  hangings  on  the  doors,  and  shoutings,  "The 


AN    ICE-STORM   IN   AMERICA.  579 

ice-storm!  the  ice-storm  !  "  and  even  the  laziest  sleepers  throw 
off  the  covers  and  join  the  rush  for  the  windows.  The  ice- 
storm  occurs  in  mid-winter,  and  usually  its  enchantments  are 
wrought  in  the  silence  and  the  darkness  of  the  night.  A 
tine  drizzling  rain  falls  hour  after  hour  upon  the  naked  twigs 
and  branches  of  the  trees,  and  as  it  falls  it  freezes.  In  time 
the  trunk  and  every  branch  and  twig  are  incased  in  hard  pure 
ice;  so  that  the  tree  looks  like  a  skeleton  tree  made  all  of 
o-lass  —  glass  that  is  crvstal-clear.  All  along  the  under  side  of 
every  branch  and  twig  is  a  comb  of  little  icicles  —  the  frozen 
drip.  Sometimes  these  pendants  do  not  quite  amount  to 
icicles,  but  are  round  beads  —  frozen  tears. 

The  weather  clears,  toward  dawn,  and  leaves  a  brisk  pure 
atmosphere  and  a  sky  without  a  shred  of  cloud  in  it — and 
everything  is  still,  there  is  not  a  breath  of  wind.  The  dawn 
breaks  and  spreads,  the  news  of  the  storm  goes  about  the 
house,  and  the  little  and  the  big,  in  wraps  and  blankets,  flock 
to  the  window  and  press  together  there,  and  gaze  intently  out 
upon  the  great  white  ghost  in  the  grounds,  and  nobody  says  a 
word,  nobody  stirs.  All  are  waiting  ;  they  know  what  is 
coming,  and  they  are  waiting  —  waiting  for  the  miracle.  The 
minutes  drift  on  and  on  and  on,  with  not  a  sound  but  the 
ticking  of  the  clock  ;  at  last  the  sun  fires  a  sudden  sheaf  of 
rays  into  the  ghostly  tree  and  turns  it  into  a  white  splendor  of 
glittering  diamonds.  Everybody  catches  his  breath,  and  feels 
a  swelling  in  his  throat  and  a  moisture  in  his  eyes  —  but  waits 
again  ;  for  he  knows  what  is  coming  ;  there  is  more  yet.  The 
sun  climbs  higher,  and  still  higher,  flooding  the  tree  from  its 
loftiest  spread  of  branches  to  its  lowest,  turning  it  to  a  glory  of 
white  fire ;  then  in  a  moment,  without  warning,  comes  the 
great  miracle,  the  supreme  miracle,  the  miracle  without  its  fel- 
low in  the  earth ;  a  gust  of  wind  sets  every  branch  and  twig 
to  swaying,  and  in  an  instant  turns  the  whole  white  tree  into  a 


580  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUA.TOR. 

spouting  and  spraying  explosion  of  flashing  gems  of  every 
conceivable  color;  and  there  it  stands  and  sways  this  way  and 
that,  Hash  !  flash !  flash  !  a  dancing  and  glancing  world  of 
rubies,  emeralds,  diamonds,  sapphires,  the  most  radiant  specta- 
cle, the  most  blinding  spectacle,  the  divinest,  the  most  ex- 
quisite, the  most  intoxicating  vision  of  fire  and  color  and 
intolerable  and  unimaginable  splendor  that  ever  any  eye  has 
rested  upon  in  this  world,  or  will  ever  rest  upon  outside  of  the 
gates  of  heaven. 

By  all  my  senses,  all  my  faculties.  I  know  that  the  ice- 
storm  is  Nature's  supremest  achievement  in  the  domain  of  the 
superb  and  the  beautiful ;  and  by  my  reason,  at  least,  I  know 
that  the  Taj  is  man's  ice-storm. 

In  the  ice-storm  every  one  of  the  myriad  ice-beads  pendant 
from  twig  and  branch  is  an  individual  gem,  and  changes  color 
with  every  motion  caused  by  the  wind ;  each  tree  carries  a 
million,  and  a  forest-front  exhibits  the  splendors  of  the  single 
tree  multiplied  by  a  thousand. 

It  occurs  to  me  now  that  I  have  never  seen  the  ice-storm 
put  upon  canvas,  and  have  not  heard  that  any  painter  has  tried 
to  do  it.  I  wonder  why  that  is.  Is  it  that  paint  cannot  coun- 
terfeit the  intense  blaze  of  a  sun-flooded  jewel  (  There  should 
be,  and  must  be,  a  reason,  and  a  good  one,  why  the  most 
enchanting  sight  that  Nature  has  created  has  been  neglected 
by  the  brush. 

Often,  the  surest  way  to  convey  misinformation  is  to  tell 
the  strict  truth.  The  describers  of  the  Taj  have  used  the  word 
gem  in  its  strictest  sense  —  its  scientific  sense.  In  that  sense  it 
is  a  mild  word,  and  promises  but  little  to  the  eye  —  nothing- 
bright,  nothing  brilliant,  nothing  sparkling,  nothing  splendid  in 
the  way  of  color.  it  accurately  describes  the  sober  and  unob- 
trusive gem-work  of  the  Taj  ;  that  is,  to  the  very  highly- 
educated  one  person  in  a  thousand  ;  but  it  most  falsely  describes 


DECEPTIVE    WORDS.  58J 

it  to  the  999.  But  the  999  are  the  people  who  ought  to  be  es- 
pecially taken  care  of,  and  to  them  it  does  not  mean  quiet- 
colored  designs  wrought  in  carnelians.  or  agates,  or  such 
things:  thev  know  the  word  in  its  wide  and  ordinary  sense 
only,  and  so  to  them  it  means  diamonds  and  rubies  and  opals 
and  their  kindred,  and  the  moment  their  eyes  fall  upon  it  in 
print  thev  see  a  vision  of  glorious  colors  clothed  in  tire. 

These  describers  are  writing  for  the  "  general,"  and  so,  in 
order  to  make  sure  of  being  understood,  they  ought  to  use 
words  in  their  ordinary  sense,  or  else  explain.  The  word 
fountain  means  one  thing  in  Syria,  where  there  is  but  a  hand- 
ful of  people ;  it  means  cprite  another  thing  in  North  America, 
where  there  are  75,000,000.  If  I  were  describing  some  Syrian 
scenery,  and  should  exclaim,  "Within  the  narrow  space  of  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  square  I  saw.  in  the  glory  of  the  flooding 
moonlight,  two  hundred  noble  fountains  —  imagine  the  specta- 
cle! "  the  North  American  would  have  a  vision  of  clustering 
columns  of  water  soaring  aloft,  bending  over  in  graceful  arches, 
bursting  in  beaded  spray  and  raining  white  tire  in  the  moon- 
light —  and  he  would  be  deceived.  But  the  Syrian  would  not 
be  deceived;  he  would  merely  see  two  hundred  fresh-water 
springs  —  two  hundred  drowsing  puddles,  as  level  and  unpre- 
tentious and  unexcited  as  so  many  door-mats,  and  even  with 
the  help  of  the  moonlight  he  would  not  lose  his  grip  in  the 
presence  of  the  exhibition.  My  word  "  fountain  "  would  be 
correct;  it  would  speak  the  strict  truth;  and  it  would  convey 
the  strict  truth  to  the  handful  of  Syrians,  and  the  strictest 
misinformation  to  the  North  American  millions.  With  their 
gems — and  gems — and  more  gems  —  and  gems  again  — and 
still  other  gems -the  describers  of  the  Taj  are  within  their 
legal  but  not  their  moral  rights;  they  are  dealing  in  the  strict- 
est scientific  truth  ;  and  in  doing  it  they  succeed  to  admiration 
in  telling  "  what  ain't  so." 


CHAPTER   LX. 

Satan  (impatiently)  to  New-Comek.  The  trouble  with  you  Chicago  people  is, 
that  you  think  you  are  the  best  people  down  here  ;  whereas  you  are  merely  the  most 
numerous. — Pudd'nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

VE  wandered  contentedly  around  here  and  there  in 
India  ;  to  Lahore,  among  other  places,  where  the 
Lieutenant-Governor  lent  me  an  elephant.  This 
hospitality  stands  out  in  my  experiences  in  a  stately  isolation. 
It  was  a  fine  elephant,  affable,  gentlemanly,  educated,  and  I 
was  not  afraid  of  it.  I  even  rode  it  with  confidence  through 
the  crowded  lanes  of  the  native  city,  where  it  scared  all  the 
horses  out  of  their  senses,  and  where  children  were  always 
just  escaping  its  feet.  It  took  the  middle  of  the  road  in  a  fine 
independent  way,  and  left  it  to  the  world  to  get  out  of  the 
way  or  take  the  consequences.  1  am  used  to  being  afraid  of 
collisions  when  I  ride  or  drive,  but  when  one  is  on  top  of  an 
elephant  that  feeling  is  absent.  I  could  have  ridden  in  com- 
fort through  a  regiment  of  runaway  teams.  I  could  easily 
learn  to  prefer  an  elephant  to  any  other  vehicle,  partly  because 
of  that  immunity  from  collisions,  and  partly  because  of  the 
fine  view  one  has  from  up  there,  and  partly  because  of  the  dig- 
nity one  feels  in  that  high  place,  and  partly  because  one  can 
look  in  at  the  windows  and  see  what  is  going  on  privately 
among  the  family.  The  Lahore  horses  were  used  to  elephants, 
but  they  were  rapturously  afraid  of  them  just  the  same.  It 
seemed  curious.  Perhaps  the  better  they  know  the  elephant 
the  more  they  respect  him  in  that  peculiar  way.  In  our  own 
case  we  are  not  afraid  of    dynamite  till  we  get  acquainted 

with  it. 

( 585 ) 


LAHORE   AND    DELHI.  ;,s;; 

We  drifted  as  far  as  Rawal  Pindi,  away  up  on  the  Afghan 
frontier--  I  think  it  was  the  Afghan  frontier,  but  it  may  have 
been  Hertzegovina —  it  was  around  there  somewhere  —  and 
down  again  to  Delhi,  to  see  the  ancient  architectural  wonders 
there  and  in  Old  Delhi  and  not  describe  them,  and  also  to  see 
the  scene  of  the  illustrious  assault,  in  the  Mutiny  days,  when 
the  British  carried  Delhi  by  storm,  one  of  the  marvels  of  his- 
tory for  impudent  daring  and  immortal  valor. 

We  had  a  refreshing  rest,  there  in  Delhi,  in  a  great  old 
mansion  which  possessed  historical  interest.  It  was  built  by 
a  rich  Enoiishman  who  had  become  orientalized  —  so  much 
so  that  he  had  a  zenana.  But  he  was  a  broad-minded  man, 
and  remained  so.  To  please  his  harem  he  built  a  mosque  ;  to 
please  himself  he  built  an  English  church.  That  kind  of  a 
man  will  arrive,  somewhere.  In  the  Mutiny  days  the  man- 
sion was  the  British  general's  headquarters.  It  stands  in  a 
great  garden  — oriental  fashion  — and  about  it  are  many  noble 
trees.  The  trees  harbor  monkeys  ;  and  they  are  monkeys  of 
a  watchful  and  enterprising  sort,  and  not  much  troubled  with 
fear.  They  invade  the  house  whenever  they  get  a  chance, 
and  carry  off  everything  thev  don't  want.  One  morning  the 
master  of  the  house  was  in  his  bath,  and  the  window  was 
open.  Xear  it  stood  a  pot  of  yellow  paint  and  a  brush. 
Some  monkeys  appeared  in  the  window  ;  to  scare  them  away, 
the  gentleman  threw  his  sponge  at  them.  They  did  not  scare 
at  all ;  they  jumped  into  the  room  and  threw  yellow  paint 
all  over  him  from  the  brush,  and  drove  him  out ;  then  they 
painted  the  walls  and  the  floor  and  the  tank  and  the  win- 
dows and  the  furniture  yellow,  and  were  in  the  dressing-room 
painting  that  when  help  arrived  and  routed  them. 

Two  of  these  creatures  came  into  my  room  in  the  early 
morning,  through  a  window  whose  shutters  I  had  left  open, 
and  when  I  woke  one  of  them   was  before  the  glass  brushing 


58i  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

his  hair,  and  the  other  one  had  my  note-book,  and  was  reading 
a  page  of  humorous  notes  and  crying.  I  did  not  mind  the 
one  with  the  hair-brush,  but  the  conduct  of  the  other  one  hurt 
me ;  it  hurts  me  yet.  I  threw  something  at  him,  and  that  was 
wrong,  for  my  host  had  told  me  that  the  monkeys  were  best 
left  alone.  They  threw  everything  at  me  that  they  could  lift, 
and  then  went  into  the  bathroom  to  get  some  more  things, 
and  I  shut  the  door  on  them. 

At  Jeypore,  in  Rajputana,  we  made  a  considerable  stay. 
We  were  not  in  the  native  city,  but  several  miles  from  it,  in 
the  small  European  official  suburb.  There  were  but  few  Euro- 
peans —  only  fourteen  -  -  but  they  were  all  kind  and  hospitable, 
and  it  amounted  to  being  at  home.  In  Jeypore  we  found  again 
what  we  had  found  all  about  India  —  that  while  the  Indian 
servant  is  in  his  way  a  very  real  treasure,  he  will  sometimes 
bear  watching,  and  the  Englishman  watches  him.  If  he  sends 
him  on  an  errand,  he  wants  more  than  the  man's  word  for'  it 
that  he  did  the  errand.  When  fruit  and  vegetables  were  sent 
to  us,  a  "chit11  came  with  them --a  receipt  for  us  to  sign; 
otherwise  the  things  might  not  arrive.  If  a  gentleman  sent 
up  his  carriage,  the  chit  stated  "from1'  such-and-such  an  hour 
"  to11  such-and-such  an  hour  —  which  made  it  unhandy  for  the 
coachman  and  his  two  or  three  subordinates  to  put  us  off  with 
a  part  of  the  allotted  time  and  devote  the  rest  of  it  to  a  lark 
of  their  own. 

We  Avere  pleasantly  situated  in  a  small  two-storied  inn,  in 
an  empty  large  compound  which  was  surrounded  by  a  mud 
wall  as  high  as  a  man's  head.  The  inn  was  kept  by  nine  Hin- 
doo brothers,  its  owners.  They  lived,  with  their  families,  in  a 
one-storied  building  within  the  compound,  but  off  to  one  side, 
and  there  was  always  a  long  pile  of  their  little  comely  brown 
children  loosely  stacked  in  its  veranda,  and  a  detachment  of 
the  parents  wedged  among  them,  smoking  the  hookah  or  the 


AN    BONEST  CRITIC. 


THE   INN   AT   JEYPORE.  587 

howdah,  or  whatever  they  call  it.  By  the  veranda  stood  a 
palm,  and  a  monkey  lived  in  it,  and  led  a  lonesome  life,  and 
ahvavs  looked  sad  and  weary,  and  the  crows  bothered  him  a 
good  deal. 

The  inn  cow  poked  about  the  compound  and  emphasized 
the  secluded  and  country  air  of  the  place,  and  there  was  a  dog 
of  no  particular  breed,  who  was  always  present  in  the  com- 
pound, and  always  asleep,  always  stretched  out  baking  in  the 
sun  and  adding  to  the  deep  tranquility  and  reposefulness  of  the 
place,  when  the  crows  were  away  on  business.  White-draperied 
servants  were  coming  and  going  all  the  time,  but  they  seemed 
only  spirits,  for  their  feet  were  bare  and  made  no  sound. 
Down  the  lane  a  piece  lived  an  elephant  in  the  shade  of  a  noble 
tree,  and  rocked  and  rocked,  and  reached  about  with  his  trunk, 
begging  of  his  brown  mistress  or  fumbling  the  children  play- 
ing at  Ids  feet.  And  there  were  camels  about,  but  they  go  on 
velvet  feet,  and  were  proper  to  the  silence  and  serenity  of  the 
surroundings. 

The  Satan  mentioned  at  the  head  of  this  chapter  was  not 
our  Satan,  but  the  other  one.  Our  Satan  was  lost  to  us.  In 
these  later  days  he  had  passed  out  of  our  life  —  lamented  by 
me,  and  sincerely.  I  was  missing  him  ;  I  am  missing  him  yet, 
after  all  these  months.  He  was  an  astonishing  creature  to  fly 
around  and  do  things.  He  didn't  always  do  them  quite  right, 
but  he  did  them,  and  did  them  suddenly.  There  was  no  time 
wasted.      You  would  say  : 

"Pack  the  trunks  and  bags,  Satan." 

"Wair  good1'  (very  good). 

Then  there  would  be  a  brief  sound  of  thrashing  and  slashing1 
and  humming  and  buzzing,  and  a  spectacle  as  of  a  whirlwind 
spinning  gowns  and  jackets  and  coats  and  boots  and  things 
through  the  air,  and  then  —  with  bow  and  touch  - 

"  Awreadv,  master." 


588  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

It  was  wonderful.  It  made  one  dizzy.  He  crumpled 
dresses  a  good  deal,  and  he  had  no  particular  plan  about  the 
work — at  first — except  to  put  each  article  into  the  trunk  it 
didn't  belong  in.  But  he  soon  reformed,  in  this  matter.  Not 
entirely ;  for,  to  the  last,  he  would  cram  into  the  satchel 
sacred  to  literature  any  odds  and  ends  of  rubbish  that  he 
couldn't  find  a  handy  place  for  elsewhere.  When  threatened 
with  death  for  this,  it  did  not  trouble  him ;  he  only  looked 
pleasant,  saluted  with  soldierly  grace,  said  "  Wair  good,"  and 
did  it  again  next  day. 

He  was  always  busy ;  kept  the  rooms  tidied  up,  the  boots 
polished,  the  clothes  brushed,  the  wash-basin  full  of  clean 
water,  my  dress  clothes  laid  out  and  ready  for  the  lecture-hall 
an  hour  ahead  of  time  ;  and  he  dressed  me  from  head  to  heel 
in  spite  of  my  determination  to  do  it  myself,  according  to  my 
lifelong  custom. 

He  was  a  born  boss,  and  loved  to  command,  and  to  jaw  and 
dispute  with  inferiors  and  harry  them  and  bullyrag  them.  He 
was  fine  at  the  railway  station  —  yes,  he  was  at  his  finest  there. 
He  would  shoulder  and  plunge  and  paw  his  violent  way 
through  the  packed  multitude  of  natives  with  nineteen  coolies 
at  his  tail,  each  bearing  a  trifle  of  luggage  —  one  a  trunk,  an- 
other a  parasol,  another  a  shawl,  another  a  fan,  and  so  on ;  one 
article  to  each,  and  the  longer  the  procession,  the  better  he  was 
suited  —  and  he  was  sure  to  make  for  some  engaged  sleeper 
and  begin  to  hurl  the  owner's  things  out  of  it,  swearing  that  it 
was  ours  and  that  there  had  been  a  mistake.  Arrived  at  our 
own  sleeper,  he  would  undo  the  bedding-bundles  and  make  the 
beds  and  put  everything  to  rights  and  shipshape  in  two  min- 
utes ;  then  put  his  head  out  at  a  window  and  have  a  restful 
good  time  abusing  his  gang  of  coolies  and  disputing  their  bill 
until  we  arrived  and  made  him  pay  them  and  stop  his  noise. 

Speaking  of  noise,  he  certainly  was  the  noisest  little  devil 


THE   LOST   SATAN.  589 

in  India  —  and  that  is  saying  much,  very  much,  indeed.  I 
loved  him  for  his  noise,  but  the  family  detested  him  for  it. 
They  could  not  abide  it ;  they  could  not  »et  reconciled  to  it. 
It  humiliated  them.  As  a  rule,  when  we  got  within  six  hun- 
dred yards  of  one  of  those  big  railway  stations,  a  mighty 
racket  of  screaming  and  shrieking  and  shouting  and  storming 
would  break  upon  us,  and  I  would  be  happy  to  myself,  and  the 
family  would  say,  with  shame : 

"  There —  that's  Satan.     Why  do  you  keep  him  \ " 

And,  sure  enough,  there  in  the  whirling  midst  of  fifteen 
hundred  wondering  people  we  would  find  that  little  sera])  of  a 
creature  gesticulating  like  a  spider  with  the  colic,  his  black 
eyes  snapping,  his  fez-tassel  dancing,  his  jaws  pouring  out 
Hoods  of  billingsgate  upon  his  gang  of  beseeching  and  aston- 
ished coolies. 

I  loved  him  ;  I  couldn't  help  it ;  but  the  family--  why,  they 
could  hardly  speak  of  him  with  patience.  To  this  day  I  regret 
his  loss,  and  wish  I  had  him  back;  but  they  —  it  is  different 
with  them.  He  was  a  native,  and  came  from  Surat.  Twenty 
degrees  of  latitude  lay  between  his  birthplace  and  Manuel's, 
and  fifteen  hundred  between  their  ways  and  characters  and 
dispositions.  I  only  liked  Manuel,  but  I  loved  Satan.  This 
latter's  real  name  was  intensely  Indian.  I  could  not  quite  get 
the  hang  of  it,  but  it  sounded  like  Bunder  Eao  Ram  Ch under 
Clam  Chowder.  It  was  too  long-  for  handy  use,  anyway  ;  so  I 
reduced  it. 

When  he  had  been  with  us  two  or  three  weeks,  he  began 
to  make  mistakes  which  I  had  difficulty  in  patching  up  for 
him.  Approaching  Benares  one  day,  he  got  out  of  the  train 
to  see  if  be  could  get  up  a  misunderstanding  with  somebody, 
for  it  had  been  a  weary,  long  journey  and  he  wanted  to 
freshen  up.  He  found  what  he  was  after,  but  kept  up  his 
pow-wowa  shade  too  long  and  got  left.     So  there  we  were  in  a 


590  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

strange  city  and  no  chambermaid.  It  was  awkward  for  us, 
and  we  told  him  lie  must  not  do  so  any  more.  He  saluted  and 
said  in  his  dear,  pleasant  way,  "  Wair  good.1'  Then  at  Luck- 
now  he  got  drunk.  I  said  it  was  a  fever,  and  got  the  family's 
compassion  and  solicitude  aroused  ;  so  they  gave  him  a  tea- 
spoonful  of  liquid  quinine  and  it  set  his  vitals  on  fire.  He 
made  several  grimaces  which  gave  me  a  better  idea  of  the 
Lisbon  earthquake  than  any  I  have  ever  got  of  it  from  paint- 
ings and  descriptions.  His  drunk  was  still  portentously  solid 
next  morning,  but  I  could  have  pulled  him  through  with  the 
family  if  he  would  only  have  taken  another  spoonful  of  that 
remedy ;  but  no,  although  he  was  stupefied,  his  memory  still 
had  flickerings  of  life ;  so  he  smiled  a  divinely  dull  smile  and 
said,  fumblinglv  saluting : 

;'  Scoose  me,  mem  Saheb,  scoose  me,  Missy  Saheb ;  Satan 
not  prefer  it,  please.1' 

Then  some  instinct  revealed  to  them  that  he  was  drunk. 
They  gave  him  prompt  notice  that  next  time  this  happened 
he  must  go.  He  got  out  a  maudlin  and  most  gentle  "  Wair 
good,"  and  saluted  indefinitely. 

Only  one  short  week  later  he  fell  again.  And  oh,  sorrow  ! 
not  in  a  hotel  this  time,  but  in  an  English  gentleman's  private 
house.  And  in  Agra,  of  all  places.  So  he  had  to  go.  When 
I  told  him,  he  said  patiently,  "  Wair  good,"  and  made  his  part- 
ing salute,  and  went  out  from  us  to  return  no  more  forever. 
Dear  me !  I  would  rather  have  lost  a  hundred  angels  than  that 
one  poor  lovely  devil.  What  style  he  used  to  put  on,  in  a 
swell  hotel  or  in  a  private  house  —  snow-white  muslin  from 
his  chin  to  his  bare  feet,  a  crimson  sash  embroidered  with  gold 
thread  around  his  waist,  and  on  his  head  a  great  sea-green 
turban  like  to  the  turban  of  the  Grand  Turk. 

He  was  not  a  liar,  but  he  will  become  one  if  he  keeps  on. 
He  told  me  once  that  he  used  to  crack  cocoanuts  with    his 


<f. 


JEYPORE.  ;,;»; 

teeth  when  lie  was  a  boy  ;  and  when  I  asked  how  he  sot  them 
into  his  mouth,  he  said  he  was  upward  of  six  feet  high  at  that 
time,  and  had  an  unusual  mouth.  And  when  I  followed  him 
up  and  asked  him  what  had  become  of  that  other  foot,  he  said 
a  house  fell  on  him  and  he  was  never  able  to  get  his  stature 
back  again.  Swervings  like  these  from  the  strict  line  of  fact 
often  beguile  a  truthful  man  on  and  on  until  he  eventually 
becomes  a  liar. 

His  successor  was  a  Mohammedan,  Sahadat 
Mohammed  Khan  ;  very  dark,  very  tall,  very 
grave.  He  went  always  in  flowing  masses  of 
white,  from  the  top  of  his  big  turban  down 
to  his  bare  feet.  His  voice  was  low.  He 
glided  about  in  a  noiseless  way,  and  looked 
like  a  ghost.  He  was  competent  and  satis- 
factorv.      But   where   he  was,  it  seemed   al- 

SAHADAT    KHAN. 

ways  Sunday.     It  was  not  so  in  Satan's  time. 

Jeypore  is  intensely  Indian,  but  it  has  two  or  three  features 
which  indicate  the  presence  of  European  science  and  European 
interest  in  the  weal  of  the  common  public,  such  as  the  liberal 
water-suppty  furnished  by  great  works  built  at  the  State's 
expense ;  good  sanitation,  resulting  in  a  degree  of  health!" ill- 
ness unusually  high  for  India  ;  a  noble  pleasure  garden,  with 
privileged  days  for  women  ;  schools  for  the  instruction  of 
native  youth  in  advanced  art,  both  ornamental  and  utilitarian  ; 
and  a  new  and  beautiful  palace  stocked  with  a  museum  of 
extraordinary  interest  and  value.  Without  the  Maharaja's 
sympathy  and  purse  these  beneficences  could  not  have  been 
created ;  but  he  is  a  man  of  wide  views  and  large  generosities, 
and  all  such  matters  find  hospitality  with  him. 

We  drove  often  to  the  city  from  the  hotel  Kaiser-i-Hind,  a 
journey  which  was  always  full  of  interest,  both  night  and  day, 
38 


594  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

for  that  country  road  was  never  quiet,  never  empty,  but  was 
always  India  in  motion,  always  a  streaming  flood  of  brown 
people  clothed  in  smouchings  from  the  rainbow,  a  tossing  and 
moiling  flood,  happy,  noisy,  a  charming  and  satisfying  con- 
fusion of  strange  human  and  strange  animal  life  and  equally 
strange  and  outlandish  vehicles. 

And  the  city  itself  is  a  curiosity.  Any  Indian  city  is  that, 
but  this  one  is  not  like  any  other  that  we  saw.  It  is  shut  up  in 
a  loftv  turreted  wall;  the  main  body  of  it  is  divided  into  six 
parts  by  perfectly  straight  streets  that  are  more  than  a  hun- 
dred feet  wide;  the  blocks  of  houses  exhibit  a  long  frontage  of 
the  most  taking  architectural  quaintnesses,  the  straight  lines 
being  broken  everywhere  by  pretty  little  balconies,  pillared 
and  highly  ornamented,  and  other  cunning  and  cozy  and  in- 
viting perches  and  projections,  and  many  of  the  fronts  are 
curiously  pictured  by  the  brush,  and  the  whole  of  them  have 
the  soft  rich  tint  of  strawberry  ice-cream.  One  cannot  look 
down  the  far  stretch  of  the  chief  street  and  persuade  himself 
that  these  are  real  houses,  and  that  it  is  all  out  of  doors  —  the 
impression  that  it  is  an  unreality,  a  picture,  a  scene  in  a  thea- 
ter, is  the  only  one  that  will  take  hold. 

Then  there  came  a  great  day  when  this  illusion  was  more 
pronounced  than  ever.  A  rich  Hindoo  had  been  spending  a 
fortune  upon  the  manufacture  of  a  crowd  of  idols  and  accom- 
panying paraphernalia  whose  purpose  was  to  illustrate  scenes 
in  the  life  of  his  especial  god  or  saint,  and  this  fine  show  was 
to  be  brought  through  the  town  in  processional  state  at  ten 
in  the  morning.  As  we  passed  through  the  great  public 
pleasure  garden  on  our  way  to  the  city  we  found  it  crowded 
with  natives.  That  was  one  sight.  Then  there  was  another. 
In  the  midst  of  the  spacious  lawns  stands  the  palace  which 
contains  the  museum  —  a  beautiful  construction  of  stone  which 
shows   arched   colonnades,  one  above  another,  and  receding. 


73 

5J 

W 

H 

3D 
O 
- 

H 


S 


596  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

terrace-fashion,  toward  the  sky.  Every  one  of  these  terraces, 
all  the  way  to  the  top  one,  was  packed  and  jammed  with 
natives.  One  must  try  to  imagine  those  solid  masses  of  splen- 
did color,  one  above  another,  up  and  up,  against  the  blue  sky, 
and  the  Indian  sun  turning  them  all  to  beds  of  fire  and  flame. 

Later,  when  we  reached  the  city,  and  glanced  down  the 
chief  avenue,  smouldering  in  its  crushed-strawberry  tint,  those 
splendid  effects  were  repeated ;  for  every  balcony,  and  every 
fanciful  bird-cage  of  a  snuggery  countersunk  in  the  house- 
fronts,  and  all  the  long  lines  of  roofs  were  crowded  with 
people,  and  each  crowd  was  an  explosion  of  brilliant  color. 

Then  the  wide  street  itself,  away  down  and  down  and  down 
into  the  distance,  was  alive  with  gorgeously-clotked  people  - 
not  still,  but  moving,  swaying,  drifting,  eddying,  a  delirious  dis- 
play of  all  colors  and  all  shades  of  color,  delicate,  lovely,  pale, 
soft,  strong,  stunning,  vivid,  brilliant,  a  sort  of  storm  of  sweet- 
pea  blossoms  passing  on  the  wings  of  a  hurricane ;  and  presently, 
through  this  storm  of  color,  came  swaving  and  swinging;  the 
majestic  elephants,  clothed  in  their  Sunday  best  of  gaudinesses, 
and  the  long  procession  of  fanciful  trucks  freighted  with  their 
groups  of  curious  and  costly  images,  and  then  the  long  rear- 
guard of  stately  camels,  with  their  picturesque  riders. 

For  color,  and  picturesqueness,  and  novelty,  and  outlandish- 
ness,  and  sustained  interest  and  fascination,  it  was  the  most 
satisf\Ting  show  I  had  ever  seen,  and  I  suppose  I  shall  not  have 
the  privilege  of  looking  upon  its  like  again. 


CHAPTEK   LXI. 

In  the  first  place  God  made  idiots.  This  was  for  practice.  Then  He  made 
School  Boards.  —  PudcPnhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

SUPPOSE  we  applied  no  more  ingenuity  to  the  instruc- 
tion of  dent"  and  dumb  and  blind  children  than  we 
sometimes  apply  in  our  American  public  schools  to  the 
instruction  of  children  who  are  in  possession  of  all  their 
faculties?  The  result  would  be  that  the  deaf  and  dumb  and 
blind  would  acquire  nothing.  They  would  live  and  die  as 
ignorant  as  brides  and  stones.  The  methods  used  in  the 
asylums  are  rational.  The  teacher  exactly  measures  the 
child's  capacity,  to  begin  with;  and  from  thence  onwards  the 
tasks  imposed  are  nicely  gauged  to  the  gradual  development  of 
that  capacity ;  the  tasks  keep  pace  with  the  steps  of  the  child's 
progress,  they  don't  jump  miles  and  leagues  ahead  of  it  by 
irrational  caprice  and  land  in  vacancy  —  according  to  the 
average  public-school  plan.  In  the  public  school,  apparently, 
they  teach  the  child  to  spell  cat,  then  ask  it  to  calculate  an 
eclipse ;  when  it  can  read  words  of  two  syllables,  they  require 
it  to  explain  the  circulation  of  the  blood ;  when  it  reaches  the 
head  of  the  infant  class  they  bully  it  with  conundrums  that 
cover  the  domain  of  universal  knowledge.  This  sounds  ex- 
travagant—  and  is;  yet  it  goes  no  great  way  beyond  the 
facts. 

I  received  a  curious  letter  one  day,  from  the  Punjab  (you 
must  pronounce  it  Pxmjawb).  The  handwriting  was  excellent, 
and  the  wording  was  English --English,  and  yet  not  exactly 
English.     The  style  was  easy  and   smooth   and  flowing,  yet 

(597) 


598  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

there  was  something  subtly  foreign  about  it  —  something  tropi- 
cally ornate  and  sentimental  and  rhetorical.  It  turned  out  to 
be  the  work  of  a  Hindoo  youth,  the  holder  of  a  humble  clerical 
billet  in  a  railway  office.  He  had  been  educated  in  one  of  the 
numerous  colleges  of  India.  Upon  inquiry  I  was  told  that  the 
country  was  full  of  young  fellows  of  his  like.  They  had  been 
educated  away  up  to  the  snow-summits  of  learning — and  the 
market  for  all  this  elaborate  cultivation  was  minutely  out  of 
proportion  to  the  vastness  of  the  product.  This  market  con- 
sisted of  some  thousands  of  small  clerical  posts  under  the 
government  —  the  supply  of  material  for  it  was  multitudinous. 
If  this  youth  with  the  flowing  style  and  the  blossoming  Eng- 
lish was  occupying  a  small  railway  clerkship,  it  meant  that 
there  were  hundreds  and  hundreds  as  capable  as  he,  or  he 
would  be  in  a  high  place ;  and  it  certainly  meant  that  there 
were  thousands  whose  education  and  capacity  had  fallen  a 
little  short,  and  that  they  would  have  to  go  without  places. 
Apparently,  then,  the  colleges  of  India  were  doing  what  our 
high  schools  have  long  been  doing  —  richly  over-supplying  the 
market  for  highly-educated  service ;  and  thereby  doing  a  dam- 
age to  the  scholar,  and  through  him  to  the  country. 

At  home  I  once  made  a  speech  deploring  the  injuries  in- 
flicted bv  the  high  school  in  making  handicrafts  distasteful  to 
boys  who  would  have  been  willing  to  make  a  living  at  trades 
and  agriculture  if  they  had  but  had  the  good  luck  to  stop  with 
the  common  school.  But  I  made  no  converts.  Not  one,  in  a 
community  overrun  with  educated  idlers  who  were  above  fol- 
lowing their  fathers'  mechanical  trades,  yet  could  find  no 
market  for  their  book-knowledge.  The  same  mail  that  brought 
me  the  letter  from  the  Punjab,  brought  also  a  little  book  pub- 
lished by  Messrs.  Thacker,  Spink  &  Co.,  of  Calcutta,  which 
interested  me,  for  both  its  preface  and  its  contents  treated  of 
this  matter  of  over-education.     In  the  preface  occurs  this  para- 


SOME   EVILS  OF   EDUCATION.  ;,<»<» 

graph  from  the  Calcutta  Review.  For  "  Government  office  " 
read  "dry -goods  clerkship"  and  it  will  fit  more  than  one 
region  of  America  : 

"  The  education  that  we  give  makes  the  boys  a  little  less  clownish  in  their 
manners,  and  more  intelligent  when  spoken  to  by  strangers.  On  the  other 
hand,  it  has  made  them  less  contented  with  their  lot  in  life,  and  less  willing  to 
work  with  their  hands.  The  form  which  discontent  takes  in  this  country  is 
not  of  a  healthy  kind;  ior.  the  Natives  of  India  consider  that  the  only  occupa- 
tion worthy  of  an  educated  man  is  that  of  a  writership  in  some  office,  and  es- 
pecially in  a  Government  office.  The  village  schoolboy  goes  back  to  the 
plow  with  the  greatest  reluctance;  and  the  town  schoolboy  carries  the  same 
discontent  and  inefficiency  into  his  father's  workshop.  Sometimes  these 
cx-students  positively  refuse  at  first  to  work  ;  and  more  than  once  parents 
have  openly  expressed  their  regret  that  they  ever  allowed  their  sons  to  he 
inveigled  to  school." 

The  little  book  which  I  am  quoting  from  is  called  ••  Indo- 
Anglian  Literature,"  and  is  well  stocked  with  "baboo"  Eng- 
lish-—  clerkly  English,  booky  English,  acquired  in  the  schools. 
Some  of  it  is  very  funny.  —  almost  as  funny,  perhaps,  as  what 
you  and  I  produce  when  we  try  to  write  in  a  language  not  our 
own  ;  but  much  of  it  is  surprisingly  correct  and  free.  If  I  were 
going  to  quote  good  English  —  but  I  am  not.  India  is  well 
stocked  with  natives  who  speak  it  and  write  it  as  well  as  the 
best  of  us.  I  merely  wish  to  show  some  of  the  quaint  imper- 
fect attempts  at  the  use  of  our  tongue.  There  are  many  letters 
in  the  book;  poverty  imploring  help  —  bread,  money,  kindness, 
office  —  generally  an  office,  a  clerkship,  some  way  to  get  food 
and  a  rag  out  of  the  applicant's  unmarketable  education  ;  and 
food  not  for  himself  alone,  but  sometimes  for  a  dozen  helpless 
relations  in  addition  to  his  own  family  ;  for  those  people  are 
astonishingly  unselfish,  and  admirably  faithful  to  their  ties  of 
kinship.  Among  us  I  think  there  is  nothing  approaching  it. 
Strange  as  some  of  these  wailing  and  supplicating  letters  are. 
humble  and  even  groveling  as  some  of  them  are,  and  quaintly 
funny  and  confused  as  a  goodly  number  of  them  are,  there  is 
still  a  pathos  about  them,  as  a  rule,  that  checks  the  rising  laugh 


600  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR. 

and  reproaches  it.  In  the  following  letter  "father"  is  not  to 
be  read  literally.  In  Ceylon  a  little  native  beggar-girl  embar- 
rassed me  by  calling-  me  father,  although  I  knew  she  was  mis- 
taken.  I  was  so  new  that  I  did  not  know  that  she  was  merely 
following  the  custom  of  the  dependent  and  the  supplicant. 

'Sin. 

"  I  pray  please  to  give  me  some  action  (work)  for  I  am  very  poor  boy  I 

have  no  one  to  help  me  even  so  father  for  it  so  it  seemed  in  thy  good  sight, 

you  give  the  Telegraph  Office,  and  another  work  what  is  your  wish  I  am  very 

poor  boy,  this  understand  what  is  your  wish  you  my  father  I  am  your  son 

this  understand  what  is  your  wish. 

"  Your  Sirvent,  P.  C.  B." 

Through  ages  of  debasing  oppression  suffered  by  these 
people  at  the  hands  of  their  native  rulers,  they  come  legiti- 
mately by  the  attitude  and  language  of  fawning  and  flattery, 
and  one  must  remember  this  in  mitigation  when  passing  judg- 
ment upon  the  native  character.  It  is  common  in  these  letters 
to  find  the  petitioner  furtively  trying  to  get  at  the  white  man's 
soft  religious  side;  even  this  poor  boy  baits  his  hook  with  a 
macerated  Bible-text  in  the  hope  that  it  may  catch  something 
if  all  else  fail. 

Here  is  an  application  for  the  post  of  instructor  in  English 

to  some  children  : 

"My  Dear  Sir  or  Gentleman,  that  your  Petitioner  has  much  qualification 
in  the  Language  of  English  to  instruct  the  young  boys;  I  was  given  to 
understand  that  your  of  suitable  children  has  to  acquire  the  knowledge  of 
English  language." 

As  a  sample  of  the  flowery  Eastern  style,  I  will  take  a 
sentence  or  two  from  a  long  letter  written  by  a  young  native 
to  the  Lieutenant-Governor  of  Bengal — an  application  for 
employment : 

"Honored  and  Much  Rkspected  Sin, 

"  I  hope  your  honor  will  condescend  to  hear  the  tale  of  this  poor  creature. 
I  shall  overflow  with  gratitude  at  this  mark  of  your  royal  condescension. 
The  bird-like  happiness  has  flown  away  from  my  nest -like  heart  and  has  not 
hitherto  returned  from  the  period  whence  the  rose  of  my  father's  life  suffered 
the  autumnal  breath  of  death,  in  plain  English  he  passed  through  the 
gates  of  Grave,  and  from  that  hour  the  phantom  of  delight  has  never  danced 
before  me." 


I    WAS    EMBARRASSED.' 


SAMPLE   LETTERS.  603 

It  is  all  school-English,  book-English,  you  see;  and  good 
enough,  too,  all  things  considered.  If  the  native  boy  had  hut 
that  one  study  he  would  shine,  he  would  dazzle,  no  doubt. 
But  that  is  not  the  case.  He  is  situated  as  are  our  public- 
school  children --loaded  down  with  an  over-freightage  of 
other  studies;  and  frequently  they  are  as  far  beyond  the  actual 
point  of  progress  reached  by  him  and  suited  to  the  stage  of 
development  attained,  as  could  be  imagined  by  the  insanest 
fancy.  Apparently  -  -like  our  public-school  boy --he  must 
work,  work,  work,  in  school  and  out,  and  play  but  little. 
Apparently  —  like  our  public-school  boy  —  his  "education-1 
consists  in  learning  things,  not  the  meaning  of  them;  he  is  fed 
upon  the  husks,  not  the  corn.  From  several  essays  written  by 
native  schoolboys  in  answer  to  the  question  of  how  they  spend 
their  day,  I  select  one  —  the  one  which  goes  most  into  detail : 

"  66.  At  the  break  of  day  I  rises  from  my  own  bed  and  finish  my  daily 
duty,  then  I  employ  myself  till  8  o'clock,  after  which  I  employ  myself  to 
bathe,  then  take  for  my  body  some  sweet  meat,  and  just  at  94-  I  came  to 
school  to  attend  my  class  duty,  then  at  2£  p.  m.  I  return  from  school  and 
engage  myself  to  do  my  natural  duty,  then,  I  engage  for  a  quarter  to  take  my 
tifhn,  then  I  study  till  5  P.  >r.,  after  which  I  began  to  play  anything  which 
comes  .n  my  head.  After  Si  half  pass  to  eight  we  are  began  to  sleep,  before 
sleeping  I  told  a  constable  just  11  o'  he  came  and  rose  us  from  half  pass 
eleven  we  began  to  read  still  morning." 

It  is  not  perfectly  clear,  now  that  I  come  to  cipher  upon  it. 
He  gets  up  at  about  5  in  the  morning,  or  along  there  some- 
where, and  goes  to  bed  about  fifteen  or  sixteen  hours  after- 
ward —  that  much  of  it  seems  straight ;  but  why  he  should  rise 
again  three  hours  later  and  resume  his  studies  till  morning  is 
puzzling. 

I  think  it  is  because  he  is  studying  history.  History 
requires  a  world  of  time  and  bitter  hard  work  when  your 
"education"  is  no  further  advanced  than  the  cat's;  when  you 
are  merely  stuffing  yourself  with  a  mixed-up  mess  of  empty 
names  and  random  incidents  and  elusive  dates,  which  no  one 


604  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

teaches  you  how  to  interpret,  and  which,  uninterpreted,  pay 
you  not  a  farthing's  value  for  your  waste  of  time.  Yes,  I 
think  he  had  to  get  up  at  half-past  11  r.  m.  in  order  to  be  sure 
to  be  perfect  with  his  history  lesson  by  noon.  With  results  as 
follows  —  from  a  Calcutta  school  examination  : 

"  Q.     Who  was  Cardinal  Wolsey? 

"  Cardinal  Wolsey  was  an  Editor  of  a  paper  named  North  Briton.  No.  45 
of  his  publication  he  charged  the  King  of  uttering  a  lie  from  the  throne.  He 
was  arrested  and  cast  into  prison  ;  and  after  releasing  went  to  France. 

"3.  As  Bishop  of  York  but  died  in  disentry  in  a  church  on  his  way  to 
be  blockheaded. 

"8.  Cardinal  Wolsey  was  the  son  of  Edward  IV,  after  his  father's 
death  he  himself  ascended  the  throne  at  the  age  of  (10)  ten  only,  but  when  he 
surpassed  or  when  he  was  fallen  in  his  twenty  years  of  age  at  that  time  he 
wished  to  make  a  journey  in  his  countries  under  him,  but  he  was  opposed  by 
his  mother  to  do  journey,  and  according  to  his  mother's  example  he  remained 
in  the  home,  and  then  became  King.  After  many  times  obstacles  and  many 
confusion  he  become  King  and  afterwards  his  brother." 

There  is  probably  not  a  word  of  truth  in  that. 

"  Q.      What  is  the  meaning  of  Ich  Dien  ? 

"  10.     An  honor  conferred  on  the  first  or  eldest  sous  of  English  Sovereigns. 
It  is  nothing  more  than  some  feathers. 

"11.  Ich  Dien  was  the  word  which  was  written  on  the  feathers  of  the 
blind  King  who  came  to  fight,  being  interlaced  with  the  bridles  of  the  horse. 

"  13.  Ich  Dien  is  a  title  given  to  Henry  VII  by  the  Pope  of  Rome,  when 
he  forwarded  the  Reformation  of  Cardinal  Wolsy  to  Rome,  and  for  this 
reason  he  was  called  Commander  of  the  faith." 

A  dozen  or  so  of  this  kind  of  insane  answers  are  quoted    in 

the  book  from  that  examination.     Each  answer  is  sweeping 

proof,  all  by   itself,  that  the  person  uttering  it  was  pushed 

ahead  of  where  he  belonged  when  he  was  put  into  history  ; 

proof  that  he  had  been  put  to  the  task  of  acquiring  history 

before  he  had  had  a  single  lesson  in   the  art  of  acquiring  it, 

which    is  the  equivalent  of   dumping  a   pupil    into  geometry 

before  he  has  learned  the  progressive  steps  which  lead  up  to  it 

and  make  its  acquirement   possible.     Those  Calcutta  novices 

had  no  business  with  history.     There  was  no  excuse  for  exara- 

ing  them  in  it,  no  excuse  for  exposing  them  and  their  teachers. 

They  were  totally  empty  ;  there  was  nothing  to  "  examine." 


A   CALCUTTA   SCHOOL  EXAMINATION.  605 

Helen  Kellar  has  been  dumb,  stone  deaf,  and  stone  blind, 
ever  since  she  was  a  little  baby  a  year-and-a-half  old  ;  and  now 
at  sixteen  years  of  age  this  miraculous  creature,  this  wonder  of 
all  the  ages,  passes  the  Harvard  University  examination  in 
Latin,  German,  French  history,  belles  lettres,  and  such  things. 
and  does  it  brilliantly,  too,  not  in  a  commonplace  fashion. 
She  doesn't  know  merely  things,  she  is  splendidly  familiar 
with  the  meanings  of  them.  When  she  writes  an  essay  on  a, 
Shakespearean  character,  her  English  is  fine  and  strong,  her 
grasp  of  the  subject  is  the  grasp  of  one  who  knows,  and  her 
page  is  electric  with  light.  Has  Miss  Sullivan  taught  her  by 
the  methods  of  India  and  the  American  public  school?  No,  oh, 
no  ;  for  then  she  would  be  deafer  and  dumber  and  blinder 
than  she  was  before.  It  is  a  pity  that  we  can't  educate  all  the 
children  in  the  asylums. 

To  continue  the  Calcutta  exposure : 

"  What  is  the  meaning  of  a  Sheriff?" 

"25.  Sheriff  is  a  post  opened  in  the  time  of  John.  The  duty  of  SherilV 
here  in  Calcutta,  to  look  out  and  catch  those  carriages  which  is  rashly  driven 
out  by  the  coachman  ;  but  it  is  a  high  post  in  England. 

"  26.     Sheriff  was  the  English  bill  of  common  prayer. 

"  27.  The  man  with  whom  the  accusative  persons  are  placed  is  called 
Sheriff. 

"28.  Sheriff — Latin  term  for  'shrub,'  we  called  broom,  worn  by  the 
first  earl  of  Enjue,  as  an  emblem  of  humility  when  they  went  to  the  pilgrim- 
age, and  from  this  their  hairs  took  their  crest  and  sur  name. 

"  29.     Sheriff  is  a  kind  of  titlous  sect  of  people,  as  Barons,  Nobles,  etc. 

"30.  Sheriff,  a  tittle  given  on  those  persons  who  were  respective  and 
pious  in  England." 

The  students  were  examined  in  the  following  bulky  mat- 
ters  :  Geometry,  the  Solar  Spectrum,  the  Habeas  Corpus  Aet. 
the  British  Parliament,  and  in  Metaphysics  they  were  asked  to 
trace  the  progress  of  skepticism  from  Descartes  to  Hume.  It 
is  within  bounds  to  say  that  some  of  the  results  were  astonish- 
ing. Without  doubt,  there  were  students  present  who  justi- 
fied their  teacher's  wisdom  in  introducing  them  to  these  stud- 
ies ;    but  the  fact  is  also  evident  that  others  had  been  pushed 


606  FOLLOWING    THE  EQUATOR. 

into  these  studies  to  waste  their  time  over  them  when  they 
could  have  been  profitably  employed  in  hunting  smaller  game. 
Under  the  head  of  Geometry,  one  of  the  answers  is  this : 

"  49.     The  whole  BD  =  the  whole  CA,  and  so-so-so-so-so-so  —  so. 

To  me  this  is  cloudy,  but  I  was  never  well  up  in  geometry. 
That  was  the  only  effort  made  among  the  five  students  who 
appeared  for  examination  in  geometry;  the  other  four  wailed 
and  surrendered  without  a  fight.  They  are  piteous  wails,  too, 
wails  of  despair  ;  and  one  of  them  is  an  eloquent  reproach  ;  it 
comes  from  a  poor  fellow  who  has  been  laden  beyond  his 
strength  by  a  stupid  teacher,  and  is  eloquent  in  spite  of  the 
poverty  of  its  English.  The  poor  chap  finds  himself  required 
to  explain  riddles  which  even  Sir  Isaac  Newton  was  not  able 
to  understand  : 

"  50.  Oh  my  dear  father  examiner  you  my  father  and  you  kindly  give  a 
number  of  pass  you  my  great  father. 

"  51 .  I  am  a  poor  boy  and  have  no  means  to  support  my  mother  and  two 
brothers  who  are  suffering  much  for  want  of  food.  I  get  four  rupees  monthly 
from  charity  fund  of  this  place,  from  which  I  send  two  rupees  for  their  sup- 
port, and  keep  two  for  my  own  support.  Father,  if  I  relate  the  unlucky  cir- 
cumstance under  which  we  are  placed,  then,  I  think,  you  will  not  be  able  to 
suppress  the  tender  tear. 

"  52.  Sir  which  Sir  Isaac  Newton  and  other  experienced  mathematicians 
cannot  understand  I  being  third  of  Entrance  Class  can  understand  these 
which  is  too  impossible  to  imagine.  And  my  examiner  also  has  put  very 
tiresome  and  very  heavy  propositions  to  prove." 

We  must  remember  that  these  pupils  had  to  do  their  think- 
ing in  one  language,  and  express  themselves  in  another  and 
alien  one.  It  was  a  heavy  handicap.  I  have  by  me  "  English 
as  She  is  Taught"  -a  collection  of  American  examinations 
made  in  the  public  schools  of  Brooklyn  by  one  of  the  teachers. 
Miss  Caroline  B.  Le  Row.  An  extract  or  two  from  its  pages 
will  show  that  when  the  American  pupil  is  using  but  one  lan- 
guage, and  that  one  his  own,  his  performance  is  no  whit  better 
than  his  Indian  brother's  : 

'  On  History. 

"Christopher  Columbus  was  called  the  father  of  his  Country.     Queen 


AN    AMERICAN   PUPILS   ANSWERS.  60? 

Isabella  of  Spain  sold  her  watch  and  chain  and  other  millinery  so  that  Colum- 
bus could  discover  America. 

"  The  Indian  wars  were  very  desecrating  to  the  country. 

"The  Indians   pursued  their  warfare  by  hiding  in  the  bushes  and  then 

scalping  them. 

"  Captain  John  Smith  has  been  styled  the  father  of  his  country.  His  life 
was  saved  by  his  daughter  Pochahantas. 

•'  The  Puritans  found  an  insane  asylum  in  the  wilds  of  America. 

"The  Stamp  Act  was  to  make  everybody  stamp  all  materials  so  they 
should  be  null  and  void. 

'•  Washington  died  in  Spain  almost  broken-hearted.  His  remains  were  taken 
to  the  cathedral  in  Havana. 

'•  Gorilla  warfare  was  where  men  rode  on  gorillas." 

In  Brooklyn,  as  in  India,  they  examine  a  pupil,  and  when 
they  find  out  he  doesn't  know  anything,  they  put  him  into 
literature,  or  geometry,  or  astronomy,  or  government,  or  some- 
thing like  that,  so  that  lie  can  properly  display  the  assitication 
of  the  whole  system  : 

"  On  Literature. 

'•  '  Bracebridge  Hall '  was  written  by  Henry  Irving. 
"  Edgar  A.  Poe  was  a  very  curdling  writer. 
"  Beowulf  wrote  the  Scriptures. 

"  Ben  Johnson  survived  Shakespeare  in  some  respects. 
"  In  the  'Canterbury  Tale'  it  gives  account  of  King  Alfred  on  his  way  to 
the  shrine  of  Thomas  Bucket. 

"  Chaucer  was  the  father  of  English  pottery. 

"  Chaucer  was  succeeded  by  II.  Wads.  Longfellow." 

We  will  finish  with  a  couple  of  samples  of  "  Literature," 
one  from   America,  the   other  from  India.      The   first   is   a 
Brooklyn  public-school  boy's  attempt  to  turn  a  few  verses  of 
the  '•  Lady  of  the  Lake"  into  prose.      Yon  will  have  to  con- 
cede that  he  did  it : 

"  The  man  who  rode  on  the  horse  performed  the  whip  and  an  instrument 
made  of  steel  alone  with  strong  ardor  not  diminishing,  for,  being  tired  from 
the  time  passed  with  hard  labor  overworked  with  anger  and  ignorant  with 
weariness,  while  every  breath  for  labor  he  drew  with  cries  full  of  sorrow,  the 
young  deer  made  imperfect  who  worked  hard  filtered  in  sight." 

The  following  paragraph  is  from  a  little  book  which  is 
famous  in  India  —  the  biography  of  a  distinguished  Hindoo 
judge.  Onoocool  Chunder  Mookerjee ;  it  was  written  by  his 


608 


FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 


nephew,  and  is  unintentionally  funny --in  fact,  exceedingly 
so.  I  oiler  here  the  closing  scene.  If  you  would  like  to 
sample  the  rest  of  the  book,  it  can  he  had  by  applying  to  the 
publishers,  Messrs.  Thacker,  Spink  &  Co..  Calcutta: 

"  And  having  said  these  words  he  hermetically  sealed  his  lips  not  to  open 
them  again.  All  the  well-known  doctors  of  Calcutta  that  could  be  procured 
lor  a  man  of  his  position  and  wealth  wen-  brought,  —Doctors  Payne,  Fayrer, 
and  Nilmadhub  Mookerjee  and  others  ;  they  did  what  they  could  do,  with 
their  puissance  and  knack  of  medical  knowledge,  but  it  proved  after  all  as  if 
to  milk  the  ram  !  His  wife  and  children  had  not  the  mournful  consolation  to 
hear  his  last  words  ;  he  remained  sotto  voce  for  a  few  hours,  and  then  was  taken 
from  us  at  6  12  p.m.  according  to  the  caprice  of  God  which  passeth  under- 
standing." 


CHAPTER   LXII. 

There  are  no  people  who  are  quite  so  vulgar  as  the  over-refined  ones. 

—  Pudd' nliead  Wilson's  Nino  Calendar. 

VE  sailed  from  Calcutta  toward  the  end  of  March ; 
stopped  a  day  at  Madras;  two  or  three  days  in 
Ceylon ;  then  sailed  westward  on  a  long-  flight  for 
Mauritius.     From  my  diary  : 

April  7.  We  are  far  abroad  upon  the  smooth  waters  of 
the  Indian  Ocean,  now ;  it  is  shady  and  pleasant  and  peaceful 
under  the  vast  spread  of  the  awnings,  and  life  is  perfect  again 
—  ideal. 

The  difference  between  a  river  and  the  sea  is,  that  the  river 
looks  fluid,  the  sea  solid  —  usually  looks  as  if  you  could  step 
out  and  walk  on  it. 

The  captain  has  this  peculiarity  —  he  cannot  tell  the  truth 
in  a  plausible  way.  In  this  he  is  the  very  opposite  of  the 
austere  Scot  who  sits  midway  of  the  table ;  he  cannot  tell  a  lie 
in  an  un  plausible  way.  "When  the  captain  finishes  a  statement 
the  passengers  glance  at  each  other  privately,  as  who  should 
say,  "  Do  you  believe  that  \  "  "When  the  Scot  finishes  one,  the 
look  says,  "  How  strange  and  interesting/'  The  whole  secret 
is  in  the  manner  and  method  of  the  two  men.  The  captain  is 
a  little  shy  and  diffident,  and  he  states  the  simplest  fact  as  if  he 
were  a  little  afraid  of  it,  while  the  Scot  delivers  himself  of  the 
most  abandoned  lie  with  such  an  air  of  stern  veracity  that  one 
is  forced  to  believe  it  although  one  knows  it  isn't  so.  For  in- 
stance, the  Scot  told  about  a  pet  flying-fish  he  once  owned,  that 
lived  in  a  little  fountain  in  his  conservatory,  and  supported 
39  ( 609 ) 


(ill) 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


itself  by  catching  birds  and  frogs  and  rats  in  the  neighboring- 
fields.  It  was  plain  that  no  one  at  the  table  doubted  this 
statement. 

By  and  by,  in  the  course  of  some  talk  about  custom-house 
annoyances,  the  captain  brought  out  the  following  simple  every- 
day incident,  but  through  his  infirmity  of  style  managed  to 
tell  it  in  such  a  way  that  it  got  no  credence.     Ue  said  : 

"  I  went  ashore  at  Naples  one  voyage  when  I 
was  in  that  trade,  and  stood  around  helping  my 
passengers,  for  I  could  speak  a  little  Italian.  Two 
or  three  times,  at  intervals,  the  officer  asked  me  if  I 
had  anything  dutiable  about  me,  and  seemed  more 
and  more  put  out  and  disappointed  every  time  I 
told  him  no.  Finally  a  passenger  whom  I  had 
helped  through  asked  me  to  come  out  and  take 
something.  I  thanked  him,  but  excused  myself, 
saying  I  had  taken  a  whisky  just  before  I  came 
ashore. 

"  It  was  a  fatal  admission.  The  officer  at  once 
made  me  pay  sixpence  import-duty  on  the  whisky  — 
just  from  ship  to  shore,  you  see;  and  he  fined  me 
£5  for  not  declaring  the  goods,  another  £5  for  falsely 
denying  that  I  had  anything  dutiable  about  me, 
also  £5  for  concealing  the  goods,  and  £50  for  smug- 
gling, which  is  the  maximum  penalty  for  unlawfully 
bringing  in  goods  under  the  value  of  sevenpence 
ha'penny.  Altogether,  sixty-five  pounds  sixpence 
for  a  little  thing  like  that." 

The  Scot  is  always  believed,  yet  he 
never  tells  anything  but  lies ;  whereas  the 
captain  is  never  believed,  although  he  never 
tells  a  lie,  so  far  as  I  can  judge.  If  he  should  say  his  uncle 
was  a  male  person,  he  would  probably  say  it  in  such  a  way 
that  nobody  would  believe  it ;  at  the  same  time  the  Scot  could 
claim  that  he  had  a  female  uncle  and  not  stir  a  doubt  in  any- 
body's mind.  My  own  luck  has  been  curious  all  my  literary 
life ;  I  never  could  tell  a  lie  that  anybody  would  doubt,  nor  a 
truth  that  anybody  would  believe. 

Lots  of  pets  on  board --birds  and  things.     In  these  far 


A   FEMALE   UNCLE. 


SKA   SIGHTS   AND    STORIES. 


<;i  i 


countries   the  white   people   do   seem   to   run  remarkably  to 
pets.      Our  host   in  Cawnpore  had  a  fine  collection  of  birds- 

the  finest  we  saw  in  a  private  house  in  India.  And  in  Colombo, 
Dr.  Murray's  great  compound  and  commodious  bungalow  were 
well  populated  with  domesti- 
cated company  from  the 
woods  :  frisky  little  squirrels ; 
a  Ceylon  mina  walking  socia- 
bly about  the  house;  a  small 
green  parrot  that  whistled  a 
single  urgent  note  of  call  with- 
out motion  of  its  beak ;  also 
chuckled;  a  monkey  in  a  cage 
on  the  back  veranda,  and  some 
more  out  in  the  trees;  also  a 
number  of  beautiful  macaws 
in  the  trees;  and  various  and 
sundry  birds  and  animals  of 
breeds  not  known  to  me.  But 
no  cat.  Yet  a  cat  would  have 
liked  that  place. 

April  ').  Tea-planting  is 
the  great  business  in  Ceylon, 
now.  A  passenger  says  it 
often  pays  4<>  per  cent,  on 
the  investment.  Savs  there  is 
a  boom. 

April  tO.  The  sea  is  a  Mediterranean  blue ;  and  I  believe 
that  that  is  about  the  divinest  color  known  to  nature. 

It  is  strange  and  fine  —  Nature's  lavish  generosities  to  her 
creatures.  At  least  to  all  of  them  except  man.  For  those 
that  fly  she  has  provided  a  home  that  is  nobly  spacious  —  a 
home  which  is  forty  miles  deep  and  envelops  the  whole  globe. 


«.«.-s^»'<J' 
A   CAT   WOULD   LIKE   THAT   PLACE. 


012  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  has  not  an  obstruction,  in  it.  For  those  that  swim  she  has 
provided  a  more  than  imperial  domain  —  a  domain  which  is 
miles  deep  and  covers  four-fifths  of  the  globe.  I3ut  as  for 
man,  she  has  cut  him  off  with  the  mere  odds  and  ends  of  the 
creation.  She  has  given  him  the  thin  skin,  the  meagre  skin 
which  is  stretched  over  the  remaining  one-fifth  —  the  naked 
bones  stick  up  through  it  in  most  places.  On  the  one-half  of 
this  domain  he  can  raise  snow,  ice,  sand,  rocks,  and  nothing 
else.  So  the  valuable  part  of  his  inheritance  really  consists  of 
but  a  single  fifth  of  the  family  estate  ;  and  out  of  it  he  has  to 
grub  hard  to  get  enough  to  keep  him  alive  and  provide  kings 
and  soldiers  and  powder  to  extend  the  blessings  of  civilization 
with.  Yet  man,  in  his  simplicity  and  complacency  and  in- 
ability to  cipher,  thinks  Nature  regards  him  as  the  important 
member  of  the  family  — in  fact,  her  favorite.  Surely,  it  must 
occur  to  even  his  dull  head,  sometimes,  that  she  has  a  curious 
way  of  showing  it. 

Afternoon.  The  captain  has  been  telling  how,  in  one  of 
his  Arctic  voyages,  it  was  so  cold  that  the  mate's  shadow  froze 
fast  to  the  deck  and  had  to  be  ripped  loose  by  main  strength. 
And  even  then  he  got  only  about  two-thirds  of  it  back.  No- 
body said  anything,  and  the  captain  went  away.  I  think  he  is 
becoming  disheartened.  .  .  .  Also,  to  be  fair,  there  is 
another  word  of  praise  due  to  this  ship's  library  :  it  contains 
no  copy  of  the  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  that  strange  menagerie  of 
complacent  hypocrites  and  idiots,  of  theatrical  cheap-jolm 
heroes  and  heroines,  who  are  always  showing  off,  of  bad  peo- 
ple who  are  not  interesting,  and  good  people  who  are  fatiguing. 
A  singular  book.  Not  a  sincere  line  in  it,  and  not  a  character 
that  invites  respect ;  a  book  which  is  one  long  waste-pipe  dis- 
charge of  goody-goody  puerilities  and  dreary  moralities ;  a 
book  which  is  full  of  pathos  which  revolts,  and  humor  which 
grieves  the  heart.     There  are  few  things  in  literature  that  are 


1 

IP 


"  The  Mate's  stvacLow  froze 
T  T  T  T  7  T  T     fast  to  ttoe  clecK." 


I 


vl 


CUSTOMS   IN   TROPIC    SEAS. 


<;i:> 


more  piteous,  more  pathetic,  than  the  celebrated  "humorous'' 
incident  of  Moses  and  the  spectacles. 

Jane  Austen's  books,  too,  are  absent  from  this  library.  Just 
that  one  omission  alone  would  make  a  fairly  good  library  out 
of  a  library  that  hadn't  a  book  in  it. 


TOE   P.ATir.F.R 


FLAYS   US   ON   TITE   BREEZY   DECK." 


Customs  in  tropic  seas.  At  5  in  the  morning  they  pipe  to 
wash  down  the  decks,  and  at  once  the  ladies  who  are  sleeping 
there  turn  out  and  they  and  their  beds  go  below.  Then  one 
after  another  the  men  come  up  from  the  bath  in  their  pyjamas, 
and  walk  the  decks  an  hour  or  two  with  bare  legs  and  bare 


616  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

feet.  Coffee  and  fruit  served.  The  ship  cat  and  her  kitten 
now  appear  and  get  about  their  toilets ;  next  the  barber  comes 
and  flays  us  on  the  breezy  deck.  Breakfast  at  9.30,  and  the, 
day  begins.  I  do  not  know  how  a  day  could  be  more  repose- 
ful :  no  motion  ;  a  level  blue  sea ;  nothing  in  sight  from  hori- 
zon to  horizon  ;  the  speed  of  the  ship  furnishes  a  cooling  breeze  ; 
there  is  no  mail  to  read  and  answer ;  no  newspapers  to  excite 
you ;  no  telegrams  to  fret  you  or  fright  you  —  the  world  is 

«/  CD  */  CD  xJ 

far,  far  away  ;  it  has  ceased  to  exist  for  you  —  seemed  a  fading 
dream,  along  in  the  first  days  ;  has  dissolved  to  an  unreality 
now ;  it  is  gone  from  your  mind  with  all  its  businesses  and 
ambitions,  its  prosperities  and  disasters,  its  exultations  and 
despairs,  its  joys  and  griefs  and  cares  and  worries.  They  are 
no  concern  of  yours  any  more ;  they  have  gone  out  of  your 
life ;  they  are  a  storm  which  has  passed  and  left  a  deep  calm 
behind.  The  people  group  themselves  about  the  decks  in  their 
snowy  white  linen,  and  read,  smoke,  sew,  play  cards,  talk,  nap, 
and  so  on.  In  other  ships  the  passengers  are  always  ciphering 
about  when  they  are  going  to  arrive ;  out  in  these  seas  it  is 
rare,  very  rare,  to  hear  that  subject  broached.  In  other  ships 
there  is  always  an  eager  rush  to  the  bulletin  board  at  noon  to 
find  out  what  the  "  run  "  has  been  ;  in  these  seas  the  bulletin 
seems  to  attract  no  interest ;  I  have  seen  no  one  visit  it ;  in 
thirteen  days  I  have  visited  it  only  once.  Then  I  happened  to 
notice  the  figures  of  the  day's  run.  On  that  day  there  hap- 
pened to  be  talk,  at  dinner,  about  the  speed  of  modern  ships. 
I  was  the  only  passenger  present  who  knew  this  ship's  gait. 
Necessarily,  the  Atlantic  custom  of  betting  on  the  ship's  run  is 
not  a  custom  here  —  nobody  ever  mentions  it. 

I  myself  am  wholly  indifferent  as  to  when  we  are  going  to 
"  get  in  "  ;  if  any  one  else  feels  interested  in  the  matter  he  has 
not  indicated  it  in  my  hearing.  If  I  had  my  way  we  should 
never  get  in  at  all.     This  sort  of  sea  life  is  charged  with  an  inde- 


MAURITIUS.  61 Y 

structible  charm.  There  is  no  weariness,  no  fatigue,  no  worry, 
no  responsibility,  no  work,  no  depression  of  spirits.  There  is 
nothing  like  this  serenity,  this  comfort,  this  peace,  this  deep 
contentment,  to  be  found  anywhere  on  land.  If  I  had  my  way 
I  would  sail  on  for  ever  and  never  go  to  live  on  the  solid 
ground  again. 

One  of  Kipling's  ballads  has  delivered  the  aspect  and  senti- 
ment of  this  bewitching  sea  correctly  : 

"  The  Injian  Ocean  sets  an'  smiles 

So  sof,  so  bright,  so  bloomin'  blue  ; 

There  aren't  a  wave  for  miles  an'  miles 

Excep'  the  jiggle  from  the  screw." 

April  llf,.  It  turns  out  that  the  astronomical  apprentice 
vorked  off  a  section  of  theMilkv  Way  on  me  for  the  Magellan 
Olouds.  A  man  of  more  experience  in  the  business  showed 
one  of  them  to  me  last  night.  It  was  small  and  faint  and 
delicate,  and  looked  like  the  ghost  of  a  bunch  of  white  smoke 
left  floating  in  the  sky  by  an  exploded  bombshell. 

Wednesday,  April  IS.  Mauritius.  Arrived  and  anchored 
off  Port  Louis  2  a.  m.  Rugged  clusters  of  crags  and  peaks,  green 
to  their  summits  ;  from  their  bases  to  the  sea  a  green  plain  with 
just  tilt  enough  to  it  to  make  the  water  drain  off.  I  believe  it 
is  in  56°  E.  and  ±20  S. —  a  hot  tropical  country.  The  green 
plain  has  an  inviting  look;  has  scattering  dwellings  nestling 
among  the  greenery.  Scene  of  the  sentimental  adventure  of 
Paul  and  Virginia. 

Island  under  French  control -- which  means  a  community 
which  depends  upon  quarantines,  not  sanitation,  for  its  health. 

Thursday,  April  16.  Went  ashore  in  the  forenoon  at  Port 
Louis,  a  little  town,  but  with  the  largest  variety  of  nation- 
alities and  complexions  we  have  encountered  yet.  French, 
English,  Chinese,  Arabs,  Africans  with  wool,  blacks  with 
straight  hair,  East  Indians,  half-whites,  quadroons  —  and  great 
varieties  in  costumes  and  colors. 


618  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

Took  the  train  for  Curepipe  at  1.30  —  two  hours1  run, 
gradually  uphill.  What  a  contrast,  this  frantic  luxuriance  of 
vegetation,  with  the  arid  plains  of  India ;  these  architecturally 
picturesque  crags  and  knobs  and  miniature  mountains,  with 
the  monotony  of  the  Indian  dead-levels. 

A  native  pointed  out  a  handsome  swarthy  man  of  grave 
and  dignified  bearing,  and  said  in  an  awed  tone,  "  That  is  so- 
and-so  ;  has  held  office  of  one  sort  or  another  under  this  gov- 
ernment for  37  years  --  he  is  known  all  over  this  whole  island  — 
and  in  the  other  countries  of  the  world  perhaps  —  who  knows  I 
One  thing  is  certain ;  you  can  speak  his  name  anywhere  in  this 
whole  island,  and  you  will  find  not  one  grown  person  that  has 
not  heard  it.  It  is  a  wonderful  thing  to  be  so  celebrated  ;  yet 
look  at  him  ;  it  makes  no  change  in  him  ;  he  does  not  even 
seem  to  know  it." 

Curepipe  (means  Pincushion  or  Pegtown,  probably).  Six- 
teen miles  (two  hours)  by  rail  from  Port  Louis.  At  each  end 
of  every  roof  and  on  the  apex  of  every  dormer  window  a 
wooden  peg  two  feet  high  stands  up ;  in  some  cases  its  top  is 
blunt,  in  others  the  peg  is  sharp  and  looks  like  a  toothpick. 
The  passion  for  this  humble  ornament  is  universal. 

Apparently,  there  has  been  only  one  prominent  event  in  the 
history  of  Mauritius,  and  that  one  didn't  happen.  I  refer  to 
the  romantic  sojourn  of  Paul  and  Virginia  here.  It  was  that 
story  that  made  Mauritius  known  to  the  world,  made  the  name 
familiar  to  everybody,  the  geographical  position  of  it  to 
nobody. 

A  clerg3Tman  was  asked  to  guess  what  was  in  a  box  on  a 
table.  It  was  a  vellum  fan  painted  with  the  shipwreck,  and 
was  "one  of  Virginia's  rire<h!i)ty  gifts." 

April  18.  This  is  the  only  country  in  the  world  where  the 
stranger  is  not  asked  "  How  do  you  like  this  place  ? "  This  is 
indeed  a  large  distinction.     Here  the  citizen  does  the  talking 


A   TROPICAL   PARADISE. 


619 


about  the  country  himself ;  the  stranger  is  not  asked  to  help, 
you  o-et  all  sorts  of  information.     From  one  citizen  you  gather 
the  idea  that  Mauritius  was  made  first,  and  then  heayen ;  and 
that  heaven  was  copied  after  Mauritius.     Another  one  tells  you 
that  this  is  an  exaggeration  ;  that  the  two  chief  villages,  Port 
Louis  and  Curepipe,  fall  short  of  heavenly  perfection ;  that  no- 
body lives  in  Port  Louis 
except   upon   compulsion, 
and  that  Curepipe  is  the 
wettest  and  rainiest  place 
in  the  world.     An  English 
citizen  said  : 

"In  the  early  part  of  this 
century  Mauritius  was  used  by 
the  French  as  a  basis  from  which 
to  operate  against  England's 
Indian  merchantmen  ;  so  Eng- 
land captured  the  island  and 
also  the  neighbor,  Bourbon,  to 
stop  that  annoyance.  England 
gave  Bourbon  back;  the  govern- 
ment in  London  did  not  want 
any  more  possessions  in  the  Wesl 
Indies.  If  the  government  had 
had  a  better  quality  of  geogra- 
phy in  stock  it  would  not  have 
wasted  Bourbon  in  that  foolish 
way.  A  big  war  will  tempo- 
rarily shut  up  the  Suez  Canal 
some  day  and  the  English  ships 
will  have  to  go  to  India  around 
the  Cape  of  Good  Hope  again: 
then  England  will  have  to  have 
Bourbon  and  will  take  it. 

"Mauritius  was  a  crown 
colony  until  20  years  ago,  with 
a  governor  appointed  by  the 
Crown  and  assisted  by  a  Coun- 
cil appointed  by  himself;  but  Pope  Hennessey  came  out  as  Governor  then, 
and  he  worked  hard  to  get  a  part  of  t lie  council  made  elective,  and  suc- 
ceeded. So  now  the  whole  council  is  French,  and  in  all  ordinary  matters  of 
legislation  they  vote  together  and  in  the  French  interest,  not  the  English. 


THE  WETTEST  PLACE  ON  EARTH. 


620  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

The  English  population  is  very  slender  ;  it  has  not  votes  enough  to  elect  a 
legislator.  Half  a  dozen  rich  French  families  elect  the  legislature.  Pope 
Hennessey  was  an  Irishman,  a  Catholic,  a  Home  Ruler,  M.P.,  a  hater  of  Eng- 
land and  the  English,  a  very  troublesome  person  and  a  serious  incumbrance 
at  Westminster;  so  it  was  decided  to  send  him  out  to  govern  unhealthy  coun- 
tries, in  hope  that  something  would  happen  to  him.  But  nothing  did.  The 
first  experiment  was  not  merely  a  failure,  it  was  more  than  a  failure.  He 
proved  to  be  more  of  a  disease  himself  than  any  he  was  sent  to  encounter. 
The  next  experiment  was  here.  The  dark  scheme  failed  again.  It  was  an 
off-season  and  there  was  nothing  but  measles  here  at  the  time.  Pope  Hen- 
nessey's health  was  not  affected.  He  worked  with  the  French  and  for  the 
French  and  against  the  English,  and  he  made  the  English  very  tired  and  the 
French  very  happy,  ami  lived  to  have  the  joy  of  seeing  the  flag  he  served 
publicly  hissed.  His  memory  is  held  in  worshipful  reverence  and  affection 
by  the  French. 

"It  is  a  land  of  extraordinary  quarantines.  They  quarantine  a  ship  for 
anything  or  for  nothing  ;  quarantine  her  for  20  and  even  30  days.  They  once 
quarantined  a  ship  because  her  captain  had  had  the  smallpox  when  he  was  a 
boy.     That  and  because  he  was  English. 

"The  population  is  very  small  ;  small  to  insignificance.  The  majority  is 
East  Indian  ;  then  mongrels  ;  then  negroes  (descendants  of  the  slaves  of  the 
French  times)  ;  then  French  ;  then  English.  There  was  an  American,  but 
he  is  dead  or  mislaid.  The  mongrels  are  the  result  of  all  kinds  of  mixtures  ; 
black  and  white,  mulatto  and  white,  quadroon  and  white,  octoroon  and  white. 
And  so  there  is  every  shade  of  complexion  ;  ebony,  old  mahogany,  horse- 
chestnut,  sorrel,  molasses-candy,  clouded  amber,  clear  amber,  old-ivory  white, 
new-ivory  white,  tish-belly  white  —  this  latter  the  leprous  complexion  frequent 
with  the  Anglo-Saxon  long  resident  in  tropical  climates. 

"  You  wouldn't  expect  a  person  to  be  proud  of  being  a  Mauritian,  now 
would  you  ?  But  it  is  so.  The  most  of  them  have  never  been  out  of  the 
island,  and  haven't  read  much  or  studied  much,  and  they  think  the  world 
consists  of  three  principal  countries  —  Judaea,  France,  and  Mauritius  ;  so  they 
are  very  proud  of  belonging  to  one  of  the  three  grand  divisions  of  the  globe. 
They  think  that  Russia  and  Germany  are  in  England,  and  that  England  does 
not  amount  to  much.  They  have  heard  vaguely  about  the  United  States  and 
the  equator,  but  they  think  both  of  them  are  monarchies.  They  think  Mount 
Peter  Botte  is  the  highest  mountain  in  the  world,  and  if  you  show  one  of 
them  a  picture  of  Milan  Cathedral  he  will  swell  up  with  satisfaction  and  say 
that  the  idea  of  that  jungle  of  spires  was  stolen  from  the  forest  of  peg-tops 
and  toothpicks  that  makes  the  roofs  of  Curepipe  look  so  fine  and  prickly. 

"  There  is  not  much  trade  in  books.  The  newspapers  educate  and  enter- 
tain the  people.  Mainly  the  latter.  They  have  two  pages  of  large-print 
reading-matter  —  one  of  them  English,  the  other  French.  The  English  page 
is  a  translation  of  the  French  one.  The  typography  is  super-extra  primitive  : 
in  this  quality  it  has  not  its  equal  anywhere.  There  is  no  proof-reader  now  ; 
he  is  dead. 

"  Where  do  they  get  matter  to  fill   up  a  page  in  this  little  island  lost  in  the 


A  FLOURISHING   COUNTRY. 


621 


.3Se 

ires 
lis 


&{re  Conuitemal  Z\\r<,ttit 


Tori- Louis,  JI  rcii   14  Avril   1896 


fl 


4BL03SAMM.P' 


verse 

iarti> 

aatre 

Qua 

J,    est 

;  i^BU 

■a  hef- 

',  s'en- 

ierr^es- 

g£ nont 

t  leurs 

•Doa- 

■ras 


wastes  of  the  Indian  Ocean?  Oh,  Madagascar.  They  discuss  Madagascar 
and  France.  That  is  the  bulk.  Then  they  chock  up  the  rest  with  advice  to 
the  Government.   Also,  slurs  upon  . 

the  English  administration.  The 
papers  are  all  owned  and  edited 
by  Creoles  —  French. 

"  The  language  of  the  country 
is  French.     Everybody  speaks  it 

—  has  to.  You  have  to  know 
F r e  n  c  h  —  particularly  mongrel 
French,  the  patois  spoken  by 
Tom,  Dick,  and  Harry  of  the 
multiform  complexions—  or  you 
can't  get  along. 

"This  was  a  flourishing  coun- 
try in  former  days,  for  it  made 
then  and  still  makes  the  best 
sugar  in  the  world  ;  but  first  the 
Suez  Canal  severed  it  from  the 
world  and  left  it  out  in  the  cold, 
and  next  the  beetroot  sugar, 
helped  by  bounties,  captured  the 
European  markets.  Sugar  is  the 
life  of  Mauritius,  and  it  is  losing 
its  grip.  Its  downward  course 
was  checked  by  the  depreciation 
of  the  rupee  —  for  the  planter 
pays  wages  in  rupees  but  sells  his 
crop  for  gold  —  and  the  insurrec- 
tion in  Cuba  and  paralyzation  of 
the  sugar  industry  there  have 
given  our  prices  here  a  life-saving 
lift  ;  but  the  outlook  has  noth- 
ing permanently  favorable  about  it.     It  takes  a  year  to  mature  the  canes 

—  on  the  high  ground  three  and  six  months  longer  —  and  there  is  always  a 
chance  that  the  annual  cyclone  will  rip  the  profit  out  of  the  crop.  In  recent 
times  a  cyclone  took  the  whole  crop,  as  you  may  say  ;  and  t he  island  never 
saw  a  finer  one.  Some  of  the  noblest  sugar  estates  in  the  island  are  in  deep 
difficulties.  A  dozen  of  them  are  investments  of  English  capital;  and  the 
companies  that  own  them  are  at  work  now,  trying  to  settle  up  and  get  out 
with  a  saving  of  half  the  money  they  put  in.  You  know,  in  these  days, 
when  a  country  begins  to  introduce  the  tea  culture,  it  means  that  its  own 
specialty  has  gone  back  on  it  Look  at  Bengal  ;  look  at  Ceylon.  Well, 
they've  begun  to  introduce  the  tea  culture,  here. 

"  Many  copies  of  Paul  and  Virginia  are  sold  every  year  in  Mauritius.  No 
other  book  is  so  popular  here  except  the  Bible.  By  many  it  is  supposed  to  be 
a  part  of  the  Bible.  All  the  missionaries  work  up  their  French  on  it  when 
they  come  here  to  pervert  the  Catholic  mongrel.  It  is  the  greatest  story  that 
was  ever  written  about  Mauritius,  and  the  onlv  one." 


1  E3  AFF.AIHE3  CUBA1NBS 

NuUVELLB    UEFAITE    DET    1NSURG&5—  LBS 
MANIFESTATIONS  EN    EsPAQNB 

Madrid,  8  m»rs— Par  service  jpe'clai  — 
Uue  di^ocho  de  ia  H.vhne  annooce  que 
ie  CO  oael  Vienna  a  ba'ta  une  bande  d  m- 
-lugeBComoiandes  p^r  Mioeo,  Los  insur* 
ges  ont  en  72  moris  et  out  ebandoane'  de 
nombreux  blesses  sur  Ie  champ  de  bae 
taille  ;  ies  Eep«gnols  ont  eu  22  bosses. 
Il»  out  jispi'isa  I'enaemi  et  lui  ont  pris 
210  cb  vuux  et  ilei  nrmes. 

L»  tr*ri.juil:itj  o  t   renblie   a    Valenee. 

Uue  nouvele  manifesiHiion  a  en  lirrj  h 
Barcelune-cu  la-g.-ndurroeriea  chevol  a 
dft  charger  pour  di->perser   la  t'oule. 

-Au  coirs  des  de'monsir*  tions  qui  so  oMlt 
P'olaites.  aujouid'hui,  a  S^iagosse,  B«c/> 
;e'oD9  et  V*  enc,  ia  foule  s'est  port6» 
1-vant  lus  con<ultit8  de  Francs  et  a  Vivel) 
Qint  reclame  ies    consuls. 


»*nl  de    let-,     conrbi^uro,.    etat    fiaTrooX. 
-"-is.  mat  do  go'gt,-    tel»aontti">  •"■ 
''un  cetnm  t- 

ANCIENT   NEWS   AT   PORT   LOTJIS. 


CHAPTER   LXIII. 


The  principal  difference  between  a  cat  and  a  lie  is  that  the  cat  has  only  nine 
lives. —  PudcVnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

APPJL    20. --The  cyclone  of    1892   killed  and  crippled 
hundreds  of  people ;  it  was  accompanied  by  a  deluge 
of    rain,  which  drowned  Port  Louis  and  produced  <> 
water  famine.     Quite  true ;  for  it  burst  the  reservoir  and  the 

water-pipes ;  and  for  a  time  after 
the  Hood  had  disappeared  there  was 
much  distress  from  want  of  water. 
This  is  the  only  place  in  the 
world  where  no  breed  of  matches 
can  stand  the  damp.  Only  one 
match  in  16  will  lig;ht. 

The  roads  are  hard  and 
smooth ;  some  of  the  compounds 
are  spacious,  some  of  the  bunga- 
lows commodious,  and  the  road- 
ways are  walled  by  tall  bamboo 
hedges,  trim  and  green  and  beau- 
tiful ;  and  there  are  azalea  hedges, 
too,  both  the  white  and  the  red; 
I  never  saw  that  before. 

As  to  healthiness:  I  translate 
.  from  to-day's  (A  pril  2< »)  Merchan  ts1 
and  Planters'  Gazette,  from  the 
article  of  a  regular  contributor, 
"  Carminge,"  concerning  the  death  of  the  nephew  of  a  promi- 
nent citizen : 

(622) 


ONLY   ONE   IN   SIXTEEN. 


ROBBING   POLITICAL   CLOTHES-LINES.  iij:; 

"  Sad  and  lugubrious  existence,  this  which  we  lead  in  Mauritius  ;  I  believe 
there  is  no  other  country  in  the  world  where  one  dies  more  easily  than  among 
us.  The  least  indisposition  becomes  a  mortal  malady  ;  a  simple  headache  de- 
velops into  meningitis  ;  a  cold  into  pneumonia,  and  presently,  when  we  are 
least  expecting  it,  death  is  a  guest  in  our  home." 

This  daily  paper  has  a  meteorological  report  which  tells 
you  what  the  weather  was  day  before  yesterday. 

One  is  never  pestered  by  a  beggar  or  a  peddler  in  this 
town,  so  far  as  I  can  see.  This  is  pleasantly  different  from 
India. 

April  J  J.  To  such  as  believe  that  the  quaint  product  called 
French  civilization  would  be  an  improvement  upon  the  civiliza- 
tion of  New  Guinea  and  the  like,  the  snatching  of  Madagascar 
and  the  laying  on  of  French  civilization  there  will  be  fullv 
justified.  But  why  did  the  English  allow  the  French  to  have 
Madagascar  \  Did  she  respect  a  theft  of  a  couple  of  centuries 
ago  ?  Dear  me,  robbery  by  European  nations  of  each  other's 
territories  has  never  been  a  sin,  is  not  a  sin  to-day.  To  the  sev- 
eral cabinets  the  several  political  establishments  of  the  world 
are  clothes-lines ;  and  a  large  part  of  the  official  duty  of  these 
cabinets  is  to  keep  an  eye  on  each  other's  wash  and  grab  what 
they  can  of  it  as  opportunity  offers.  All  the  territorial  pos- 
sessions of  all  the  political  establishments  in  the  earth - 
including  America,  of  course  —  consist  of  pilferings  from 
other  people's  wash.  Xo  tribe,  howsoever  insignificant,  and  no 
nation,  howsoever  mighty,  occupies  a  foot  of  land  that  was 
not  stolen.  When  the  English,  the  French,  and  the  Spaniards 
reached  America,  the  Indian  tribes  had  been  raiding  each 
other's  territorial  clothes-lines  for  ages,  and  every  acre  of 
ground  in  the  continent  had  been  stolen  and  re-stolen  500 
times.  The  English,  the  French,  and  the  Spaniards  went  to 
work  and  stole  it  all  over  again ;  and  when  that  was  satisfac- 
torily accomplished  they  went  diligently  to  work  and  stole  it 
from  each  other.      In  Europe  and  Asia  and  Africa  every  acre 


624  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

of  ground  has  been  stolen  several  millions  of  times.  A  crime 
persevered  in  a  thousand  centuries  ceases  to  be  a  crime,  and 
becomes  a  virtue.  This  is  the  law  of  custom,  and  custom  super- 
sedes all  other  forms  of  law.  Christian  governments  are  as 
frank  to-day,  as  open  and  above-board,  in  discussing  projects 
for  raiding  each  other's  clothes-lines  as  ever  they  were  before 
the  Golden  Rule  came  smiling  into  this  inhospitable  world  and 
couldn't  get  a  night's  lodging  anywhere.  In  150  years  England 
has  beneficently  retired  garment  after  garment  from  the  Indian 
lines,  until  there  is  hardly  a  rag  of  the  original  wash  left 
dangling  anywhere.  In  800  years  an  obscure  tribe  of  Musco- 
vite savages  has  risen  to  the  dazzling  position  of  Land-Robber- 
in-Chief ;  she  found  a  quarter  of  the  world  hanging  out  to  dry 
on  a  hundred  parallels  of  latitude,  and  she  scooped  in  the  whole 
wash.  She  keeps  a  sharp  eye  on  a  multitude  of  little  lines  that 
stretch  along  the  northern  boundaries  of  India,  and  every  now 
and  then  she  snatches  a  hip-rag  or  a  pair  of  pyjamas.  It  is 
England's  prospective  property,  and  Russia  knows  it ;  but 
Russia  cares  nothing  for  that.  In  fact,  in  our  day  land-rob- 
bery, claim-jumping,  is  become  a  European  governmental 
frenzy.  Some  have  been  hard  at  it  in  the  borders  of  China,  in 
Burma,  in  Siam,  and  the  islands  of  the  sea ;  and  all  have  been 
at  it  in  Africa.  Africa  has  been  as  coolly  divided  up  and  por- 
tioned out  among  the  gang  as  if  they  had  bought  it  and  paid 
for  it.  And  now  straightway  they  are  beginning  the  old  game 
again  —  to  steal  each  other's  grabbings.  Germany  found  a  vast 
slice  of  Central  Africa  with  the  English  flag  and  the  English 
missionary  and  the  English  trader  scattered  all  over  it,  but 
with  certain  formalities  neglected  —  no  signs  up,  "  Keep  off  the 
grass,"  "  Trespassers  forbidden,"  etc.  —  and  she  stepped  in  with 
a  cold  calm  smile  and  put  up  the  signs  herself,  and  swept  those 
English  pioneers  promptly  out  of  the  country. 

There  is  a  tremendous  point  there.     It  can  be  put  into  the 


FORMALITIES   AND   MORALITIES. 


625 


form  of  a  maxim  :     Get  your  formalities  right  —  never  mind 
about  the  moralities. 

It  was  an  impudent  thing;  but  England  had  to  put  up  with 
it.  Now,  in  the  case  of  Madagascar,  the  formalities  had  origin- 
ally been  observed,  but  by  neglect  they  had  fallen  into  desuetude 
ages  ago.  England  should  have  snatched  Madagascar  from 
the  French  clothes-line.  Without  an  effort  she  could  have 
saved  those  harmless  natives  from  the  calamity  of  French 
civilization,  and  she  did  not  do  it.     Now  it  is  too  late. 

The  signs  of  the 
times  show  plainly 
enough  what  is  go- 
ing to  happen.  All 
the  savage  lands  in 
the  world  are  going 
to  be  brought  under 
subjection  to  the 
Christian  govern- 
ments of  Europe.  I 
am  not  sorry,  but 
glad.  This  coining 
fate  might  have  been 
a  calamity  to  those 
savage  peoples  two 
hundred  years  ago; 
but  now  it  will  in 
some  cases  be  a  bene- 
faction. The  sooner 
the  seizure  is  con- 
summated, the  bet- 
ter for  the  savages. 


THE  THIRD  YEAR  THEY  DO  NOT  GATHER 
SHELLS." 


The  drearv  and  dragging  ages  of  bloodshed  and  disorder  and 


40 


62H 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


oppression  will  give  place  to  peace  and  order  and  the  reign  of 
laAV.  When  one  considers  what  India  was  under  her  Hindoo 
and  Mohammedan  rulers,  and  what  she  is  now ;  when  he  re- 
members the  miseries  of  her  millions  then  and  the  protections 
and  humanities  which  they  enjoy  now,  he  must  concede  that 
the  most  fortunate  thing  that  has  ever  befallen  that  empire 
was  the  establishment  of  British  supremacy  there.  The  savage 
lands  of  the  world  are  to  pass  to  alien  possession,  their  peoples 
to  the  mercies  of  alien  rulers.  Let  us  hope  and  believe  that 
they  will  all  benefit  by  the  change. 

April  ,!■'>.     "  The  first  year  they  gather  shells ;  the  second 
year  they  gather  shells  and  drink ;  the  third  year  they  do  not 
gather  shells."     (Said  of  immigrants  to  Mauritius.) 
Population  375,000.     120  sugar  factories. 
Population   1851,  185,000.     The  increase  is  due  mainly  to 

the  introduction  of  Indian  coolies. 
They  now  apparently  form  the 
great  majority  of  the  population. 
They  are  admirable  breeders ;  their 
homes  are  always  hazy  with  chil- 
dren. Great  savers  of  money.  A 
British  officer  told  me  that  in  India 
he  paid  his  servant  10  rupees  a 
month,  and  he  had  11  cousins, 
uncles,  parents,  etc.,  dependent 
upon  him,  and  lie  supported  them 
on  his  wages.  These  thrifty  coolies 
are  said  to  be  acquiring  land  a  trifle 
at  a  time,  and  cultivating  it ;  and 
may  own  the  island  by  and  by. 
a  stevedore.  The   Indian   women  do    very 

hard  labor  for  wages  running  from  40T^  of  a  rupee  for  twelve 
hours'  work,  to  50T^.    They  carry  mats  of  sugar  on  their  heads 


SAVORY    DISHES.  627 

(7"  pounds)  all  day  lading  ships,  for  half  a  rupee,  and  work  at 
gardening;  all  day  for  less. 

The  camaron  is  a  fresh  water  creature  like  a  erav-iish.  It 
is  regarded  here  as  the  world's  chiefest  delicacy  -and  cer- 
tainly it  is  good.  Guards  patrol  the  streams  to  prevent  poach- 
ing it.  A  tine  of  Us.  2<)»)  or  300  (they  say)  for  poaching.  Bait 
is  thrown  in  the  water;  the  camaron  goes  for  it;  the  fisher 
drops  his  loop  in  and  works  it  around  and  about  the  camaron 
he  has  selected,  till  he  gets  it  over  its  tail  ;  then  there's  a  jerk 
or  something  to  certify  the  camaron  that  it  is  his  turn  now  ;  he 
suddenly  hacks  away,  which  moves  the  loop  still  further  up  his 
person  and  draws  it  taut,  and  his  days  are  ended. 

Another  dish,  called  palmiste,  is  like  raw  turnip-shavings 
and  tastes  like  green  almonds;  is  very  delicate  and  good. 
Costs  the  life  of  a  palm  tree  12  to  20  years  old  --for  it  is  the 
pith. 

Another  dish -- looks  like  greens  or  a  tangle  of  line  sea- 
weed—  is  a  preparation  of  the  deadly  nightshade.  Good 
enough. 

The  monkeys  live  in  the  dense  forests  on  the  Hanks  of  the 
tov  mountains,  and  they  Hock  down  nights  and  raid  the  sugar- 
fields.  Also  on  other  estates  they  come  down  and  destroy  a 
sort  of  bean-crop  —  just  for  fun,  apparently -- tear  off  the  pods 
and  throw  them  dowi 

The  cyclone  of  1892  tore  down  two  great  blocks  of  stone 
building's  in  the  center  of  Port  Louis --the  chief  architectural 
feature  —  and  left  the  uncomely  and  apparently  frail  blocks 
standing.  Everywhere  in  its  track  it  annihilated  houses,  tore 
off  roofs,  destroyed  trees  and  crops.  The  men  were  in  the 
towns,  the  women  and  children  at  home  in  the  country  getting 
crippled,  killed,  frightened  to  insanity ;  and  the  rain  deluging 
them,  the  wind  howling,  the  thunder  crashing,  the  lightning 
glaring.     This  for  an    hour  or  so.     Then  a  lull  and  sunshine ; 


»;2s 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


many  ventured  out  of  safe  shelter ;  then  suddenly  here  it  came 
again  from  the  opposite  point  and  renewed  and  completed  the 
devastation.  It  is  said  the  Chinese  fed  the  sufferers  for  days 
on  free  rice. 

Whole   streets   in   Port   Louis   were   laid   flat  -  -  wrecked 
During  a  minute  and  a  half  the  wind  blew  123  miles  an  hour; 
no  official  record  made  after  that,  when  it  may  have  reached 
150.     It  cut  down  an  obelisk.     It  carried  an  American  ship 


A   CYCLONE. 


into  the  woods  after  breaking  the  chains  of  two  anchors.  They 
now  use  four  —  two  forward,  two  astern.  Common  report 
says  it  killed  1,200  in  Port  Louis  alone,  in  half  an  hour.  Then 
came  the  lull  of  the  central  calm  —  people  did  not  know  the 
barometer  was  still  going  down  —  then  suddenly  all  perdition 
broke  loose  again  while  people  were  rushing  around  seeking 
friends  and  rescuing  the  wounded.  The  noise  was  comparable 
to  nothing ;  there  is  nothing  resembling  it  but  thunder  and  can- 
non, and  these  are  feeble  in  comparison. 


ISLAND  OF  MAURITIUS.  629 

What  there  is  of  Mauritius  is  beautiful.  You  have  undulat- 
ing wide  expanses  of  sugar-cane  —a  fine,  fresh  green  and  very 
pleasant  to  the  eye;  and  everywhere  else  you  have  a  ragged 
luxuriance  of  tropic  vegetation  of  vivid  greens  of  varying 
shades,  a  wild  tangle  of  underbrush,  with  graceful  tall  palms 
lifting  their  crippled  plumes  high  above  it;  and  you  have 
stretches  of  shady  dense  forest  with  limpid  streams  frolicking 
through  them,  continually  glimpsed  and  lost  and  glimpsed 
again  in  the  pleasantest  hide-and-seek  fashion ;  and  you  have 
some  tiny  mountains,  some  quaint  and  picturesque  groups  of 
toy  peaks,  and  a  dainty  little  vest-pocket  Matterhorn ;  and  here 
and  there  and  now  and  then  a  strip  of  sea  with  a  white  ruffle 
of  surf  breaks  into  the  view. 

That  is  Mauritius  ;  and  pretty  enough.  The  details  are  few, 
the  massed  result  is  charming,  but  not  imposing ;  not  riotous, 
not  exciting ;  it  is  a  Sunday  landscape.  Perspective,  and  the 
enchantments  wrought  by  distance,  are  wanting.  There  are 
no  distances ;  there  is  no  perspective,  so  to  speak.  Fifteen 
miles  as  the  crow  flies  is  the  usual  limit  of  vision.  Mauritius  is 
a  garden  and  a  park  combined.  It  affects  one's  emotions  as 
parks  and  gardens  affect  them.  The  surfaces  of  one's  spiritual 
deeps  are  pleasantly  played  upon,  the  deeps  themselves  are  not 
reached,  not  stirred.  Spaciousness,  remote  altitudes,  the  sense 
of  mystery  which  haunts  apparently  inaccessible  mountain  domes 
and  summits  reposing  in  the  sky  —  these  are  the  things  which 
exalt  the  spirit  and  move  it  to  see  visions  and  dream  dreams. 

The  Sandwich  Islands  remain  my  ideal  of  the  perfect  thing 
in  the  matter  of  tropical  islands.  I  would  add  another  story 
to  Mauna  Loa's  1G,000  feet  if  I  could,  and  make  it  particularly 
bold  and  steep  and  craggy  and  forbidding  and  snowy;  and  I 
would  make  the  volcano  spout  its  lava-floods  out  of  its  summit 
instead  of  its  sides ;  but  aside  from  these  non-essentials  I  have 
no  corrections  to  suggest.  I  hope  these  will  be  attended  to ;  I 
do  not  wish  to  have  to  speak  of  it  again. 


CHAPTER  LXIY. 

When  your  watch  gets  out  of  order  you  have  choice  of  two  things  to  do :  throw  it 
in  the  Are  or  take  it  to  the  watch-tinker.     The  former  is  the  quickest. 

—  PadcCnhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 


r 


HE  Arundel  Castle  is  the  finest  boat  I  have  seen  in 
these  seas.  She  is  thoroughly  modern,  and  that  state- 
ment covers  a  great  deal  of  ground.  She  has  the 
usual  defect,  the  common  defect,  the  universal  defect,  the 
defect  that  has  never  been  missing  from  any  ship  that  ever 
sailed  —  she  has  imperfect  .beds.  Many  ships  have  good  beds, 
but  no  ship  has  very  good  ones.  Jn  the  matter  of  beds  all 
ships  have  been  badly  edited,  ignorantly  edited,  from  the 
beginning.  The  selection  of  the  beds  is  given  to  some  hearty, 
strong-backed,  self-made  man,  when  it  ought  to  be  given  to  a 
frail  woman  accustomed  from  girlhood  to  backaches  and 
insomnia,  Nothing  is  so  rare,  on  either  side  of  the  ocean,  as  a 
perfect  bed;  nothing  is  so  difficult  to  make.  Some  of  the 
hotels  on  both  sides  provide  it,  but  no  ship  ever  does  or  ever 
did.  In  Xoah's  Ark  the  beds  were  simply  scandalous.  Noah 
set  the  fashion,  and  it  will  endure  in  one  degree  of  modifica- 
tion or  another  till  the  next  flood. 

8  A.M.  Passing  Isle  de  Bourbon.  Broken-up  sky-line  of 
volcanic  mountains  in  the  middle.  Surely  it  would  not  cost 
much  to  repair  them,  and  it  seems  inexcusable  neglect  to  leave 
them  as  they  are. 

It  seems  stupid  to  send  tired  men  to  Europe  to  rest.  It  is 
no  proper  rest  for  the  mind  to  clatter  from  town  to  town  in 
the  dust  and  cinders,  and  examine  galleries  and  architecture, 

(630) 


A    HEAL1XC    SKA    VOYAGE. 


.;:;[ 


and  be  always  meeting  people  and  Lunching  and  teaing  and 
dining,  and  receiving  worrying  cables  and  letters.  And  a  sea 
voyage  on  the  Atlantic  is  of  no  use  — -  voyage  too  short,  sea 
too  rough.  The  peaceful  Indian  and  Pacific  Oceans  and  the 
long  stretches  of  time  are  the  healing  thing. 


STll'IDITY   IN    EUKUi'E. 


May  ?,  A.M.  A  fair,  great  ship  in  sight,  almost  the  first 
we  have  seen  in  these  weeks  of  lonely  voyaging.  We  are  now 
in  the  Mozambique  Channel,  between  Madagascar  and  South 
Africa,  sailing  straight  west  for  Delagoa  Bav. 


632  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

Last  night,  the  burly  chief  engineer,  middle-aged,  was 
standing  telling  a  spirited  seafaring  tale,  and  had  reached  the 
most  exciting  place,  where  a  man  overboard  was  washing 
swiftly  astern  on  the  great  seas,  and  uplifting  despairing  cries, 
everybody  racing  aft  in  a  frenzy  of  excitement  and  fading- 
hope,  when  the  band,  which  had  been  silent  a  moment,  began 
impressively  its  closing  piece,  the  English  national  anthem. 
As  simply  as  if  he  was  unconscious  of  what  he  was  doing,  he 
stopped  his  story,  uncovered,  laid  his  laced  cap  against  his 
breast,  and  slightly  bent  his  grizzled  head.  The  few  bars  fin- 
ished, he  put  on  his  cap  and  took  up  his  tale  again  as  naturally 
as  if  that  interjection  of  music  had  been  a  part  of  it.  There 
was  something  touching  and  fine  about  it,  and  it  was  moving 
to  reflect  that  he  was  one  of  a  myriad,  scattered  over  every 
part  of  the  globe,  who  by  turn  was  doing  as  he  was  doing 
ever v  hour  of  the  twenty-four — those  awake  doing  it  while 
the  others  slept --those  impressive  bars  forever  floating  up 
out  of  the  various  climes,  never  silent  and  never  lacking  rever- 
ent listeners. 

All  that  I  remember  about  Madagascar  is  that  Thackeray's 

little  Billie  went  up  to  the  top  of  the  mast  and  there  knelt 

him  upon  his  knee,  saying,  "  I  see 

'•  Jerusalem  and  Madagascar, 
And  North  and  South  Amerikee." 

May  3.  Sunday.  Fifteen  or  twenty  Africanders  who  will 
end  their  vovage  to-day  and  strike  for  their  several  homes 
from  Delagoa  Bay  to-morrow,  sat  up  singing  on  the  after- 
deck  in  the  moonlight  till  3  a.m.  Good  fun  and  wholesome. 
And  the  songs  were  clean  song's,  and  some  of  them  were  hal- 
lowed  by  tender  associations.  Finally,  in  a  pause,  a  man 
asked,  "  Have  you  heard  about  the  fellow  that  kept  a  diary 
crossing  the  Atlantic  ? "  It  was  a  discord,  a  wet  blanket. 
The  men  were  not  in  the  mood  for  humorous  dirt.     The  songs 


> 

- 


r 

K 


NOT  RESPONSIBLE.  635 

had  carried  them  to  their  homes,  and  in  spirit  they  sat  by 
those  far  hearthstones,  and  saw  faces  and  heard  voices  other 
than  those  that  were  about  them.  And  so  this  disposition  to 
drag  in  an  old  indecent  anecdote  got  no  welcome;  nobody 
answered.  The  poor  man  hadn't  wit  enough  to  see  that  he 
had  blundered,  but  asked  his  question  again.  Again  there 
was  no  response.  It  was  embarrassing  for  him.  In  his  con. 
fusion  he  chose  the  wrong  course,  did  the  wrong  thing - 
began  the  anecdote.  Began  it  in  a  deep  and  hostile  stillness, 
where  had  been  such  life  and  stir  and  warm  comradeship 
before.  lie  delivered  himself  of  the  brief  details  of  the  diary's 
first  day,  and  did  it  with  some  confidence  and  a  fair  degree  of 
eagerness.  It  fell  fiat.  There  was  an  awkward  pause.  The 
two  rows  of  men  sat  like  statues.  There  was  no  movement, 
no  sound.  lie  had  to  go  on;  there  was  no  other  way,  at  least 
none  that  an  animal  of  his  calibre  could  think  of.  At  the 
close  of  each  day's  diary  the  same  dismal  silence  followed. 
When  at  last  he  finished  his  tale  and  sprung  the  indelicate 
surprise  which  is  wont  to  fetch  a  crash  of  laughter,  not  a 
ripple  of  sound  resulted.  It  was  as  if  the  tale  had  been  told 
to  dead  men.  After  what  seemed  a  long,  long  time,  somebody 
sighed,  somebody  else  stirred  in  his  seat ;  presently,  the  men 
dropped  into  a  low  murmur  of  confidential  talk,  each  with  his 
neighbor,  and  the  incident  was  closed.  There  were  indica- 
tions  that  that  man  was  fond  of  his  anecdote;  that  it  was  his 
pet,  his  standby,  his  shot  that  never  missed,  his  reputation- 
maker.  But  he  will  never  tell  it  again.  No  doubt  he  will 
think  of  it  sometimes,  for  that  cannot  well  be  helped  ;  and 
then  he  will  see  a  picture,  and  always  the  same  picture — the 
double  rank  of  dead  men  ;  the  vacant  deck  stretching  away  in 
dimming  perspective  beyond  them,  the  wide  desert  of  smooth 
sea  all  abroad  ;  the  rim  of  the  moon  spying  from  behind  a  rag 
of  black  cloud  ;    the  remote  top  of  the  mizzenmast  shearing  a 


636 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


zigzag- path  through  the  fields  of  stars  in  the  deeps  of  space; 
and  this  soft  picture  will  remind  him  of  the  time  that  he  sat  in 
the  midst  of  it  and  told  his  poor  little  tale  and  felt  so  lonesome 
when  he  got  through. 

Fifty  Indians  and  Chinamen  asleep  in  a  big  tent  in  the  waist 
of  the  ship  forward  ;  they  lie  side  by  side  with  no  space  be- 
tween ;  the  former  wrapped  up,  head  and  all,  as  in  the  Indian 


INDIANS   AND   CHINA  MEN. 


streets,  the  Chinamen   uncovered;    the  lamp   and  things   for 
opium  smoking  in  the  center. 

A  passenger  said  it  was  ten  2-ton  truck  loads  of  dynamite 
that  lately  exploded  at  Johannesburg.  Hundreds  killed ;  he 
doesn't  know  how  many ;  limbs  picked  up  for  miles  around. 
Glass  shattered,  and  roofs  swept  away  or  collapsed  200  yards 
off;  fragment  of  iron  flung  three  and  a  half  miles. 


DELAGOA  BAY.  637 

It  occurred  at  3  p.  m. ;  at  6,  £65,000  had  been  subscribed. 
When  this  passenger  left,  £35,000  had  been  voted  by  city  and 
state  governments  and  £l<n>.<»00  bv  citizens  and  business  cor- 
porations.  When  news  of  the  disaster  was  telephoned  to  the 
Exchange  £35,000  were  subscribed  in  the  first  five  minutes. 
Subscribing  was  still  going  on  when  he  left ;  the  papers  had 
ceased  the  names,  only  the  amounts --too  many  names;  not 
enough  room.  £100,000  subscribed  by  companies  and  citizens; 
if  this  is  true,  it  must  be  what  they  call  in  Australia  "  a  record  " 
-the  biggest  instance  of  a  spontaneous  outpour  for  charity  in 
history,  considering  the  size  of  the  population  it  was  drawn 
from.  $8  or  $10  for  each  white  resident,  babies  at  the  breast 
included. 

Monday,  Hay  4.  Steaming  slowly  in  the  stupendous  Del- 
agoa  Bay,  its  dim  arms  stretching  far  away  and  disappearing 
on  both  sides.  It  could  furnish  plenty  of  room  for  all  the 
ships  in  the  world,  but  it  is  shoal.  The  lead  has  given  us  3£ 
fathoms  several  times  and  we  are  drawing  that,  lacking  6 
inches. 

A  bold  headland  —  precipitous  wall,  150  feet  high,  very 
strong,  red  color,  stretching  a  mile  or  so.  A  man  said  it  was 
Portuguese  blood  —  battle  fought  here  with  the  natives  last 
year.  I  think  this  doubtful.  Pretty  cluster  of  houses  on  the 
tableland  above  the  red — and  rolling  stretches  of  grass  and 
groups  of  trees,  like  England. 

The  Portuguese  have  the  railroad  (one  passenger  train  a 
day)  to  the  border- -TO  miles  —  then  the  Netherlands  Com- 
pany have  it.  Thousands  of  tons  of  freight  on  the  shore  —  no 
cover.  This  is  Portuguese  all  over  —  indolence,  piousness,  pov- 
erty, impotence. 

Crews  of  small  boats  and  tugs,  all  jet  black  woolly  heads 
and  very  muscular. 

Winter.     The  South  African  winter  is  just  beginning  now, 


t;:;s 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


but  nobody  but  an  expert  can  tell  it  from  summer.  However, 
I  am  tired  of*  summer  ;  we  Lave  had  it  unbroken  for  eleven 
months.  AVe  spent  the  afternoon  on  shore.  Delagoa  13a v.  A 
small  town  -  -  no  sights.  No  carriages.  Three  'rickshas,  but 
we  couldn't  get  them  —  apparently  private.  These  Portuguese 
are  a  rich  In-own,  like  some  of  the  Indians.  Some 
of  the  blacks  have  the  long  horse  heads  and  very 
long  chins  of  the  negroes  of  the  picture 
books;  but  most  of  them  are  exactly  like 
the  negroes  of  our  Southern  States  — 
round  faces,  Hat  noses,  good-natured, 
and  easy  laughers. 

Flocks  o  f  b  lack 
women  passed  along. 
outrageously  heavy 
freight  on 
quive r  o  f 
foot  w a  s 
strain  exhib- 
s  h  o  w  e  d 
strength  the 
stevedores, 
dore's  work. 
when  iin- 
ing  weights 
just  like  the 
(rives  them  a 


carrying 

bags    o  f 

their    heads  —  the 
their    leg    as    the 
planted    and    the 
ited  by  their  bodies 
what  a  tax  upon  their 
load  was.  They  were 
and  doing  full  steve- 
Thevwere  very  erect 
laden  —  from  carry- 
on   t  h  e  i  r   heads  — 
Indian    women.      It 
proud,  fine  carriage. 

Sometimes  one  saw  a  woman  carrying  on  her  head  a  laden 
and  top-heavy  basket  the  shape  of  an  inverted  pyramid --its 
top  the  size  of  a  soup-plate,  its  base  the  diameter  of  a  teacup. 
It  required  nice  balancing  —  and  got  it. 

No  bright  colors;  }*et  there  were  a  good  many  Hindoos. 


LIKE    OUK    SOUTHERN    KEGKOKS. 


"I'LL  BUY   THE   MONUMENT."  639 

The  Second  Class  Passenger  came  over  as  usual  at  "  lights 
out  *'  ( 1 1 )  and  we  lounged  along  the  spacious  vague  solitudes 
of  the  deck  and  smoked  the  peaceful  pipe  and  talked.  lie  told 
me  an  incident  in  Mr.  Barnum's  life  which  was  evidently  char- 
acteristic of  that  great  showman  in  several  ways: 

This  was  Barnum's  purchase  of  Shakespeare's  birthplace,  a 
quarter  of  a  century  ago.  The  Second  Class  Passenger  was  in 
Jamrach's  employ  at  the  time  and  knew  Barnum  well,  lie 
said  the  thing  began  in  this  way.  One  morning  Barnum  and 
Jamrach  were  in  Jamrach's  little  private  snuggery  back  of  the 
wilderness  of  caii'ed  monkeys  and  snakes  and  other  common- 
places  of  Jamrach's  stock  in  trade,  refreshing  themselves  after 
an  arduous  stroke  of  business,  Jamrach  with  something  ortho- 
dox, Barnum  with  something  heterodox  —  for  Barnum  was  a 
teetotaler.  The  stroke  of  business  was  in  the  elephant  line. 
Jamrach  had  contracted  to  deliver  to  Barnum  in  New  York  L8 
elephants  for  $360,000  in  time  for  the  next  season's  opening. 
Then  it  occurred  to  Mr.  Barnum  that  he  needed  a  "card."  lie 
suggested  Jumbo.  Jamrach  said  he  would  have  to  think  of 
something  else  —  Jumbo  couldn't  be  had  ;  the  Zoo  wouldn't 
part  with  that  elephant.  Barnum  said  he  was  willing  to  pay 
a  fortune  for  Jumbo  if  he  could  get  him.  Jamrach  said  it  was 
no  use  to  think  about  it  ;  that  Jumbo  was  as  popular  as  the 
Prince  of  "Wales  and  the  Zoo  wouldn't  dare  to  sell  him;  all 
England  would  be  outraged  at  the  idea;  Jumbo  was  an  English 
institution ;  he  was  part  of  the  national  glory  ;  one  might  as 
well  think  of  buying  the  Xelson  monument.  Barnum  spoke 
up  with  vivacity  and  said  — 

"  It's  a  first-rate  idea.     Ill  Inn/  tin  Mon  >n,n  nt." 

Jamrach  was  speechless  for  a  second.  Then  he  said,  like 
one  ashamed  — 

"You  caught  me.  I  was  napping.  For  a  moment  I 
thought  you  were  in  earnest." 


640 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


Barnum  said  pleasantly  — 

"I  was  in  earnest.  I  know  they  won't  sell  it,  but  no  mat- 
ter. I  will  not  throw  awav  a  good  idea  for  all  that.  All  I 
want  is  a  big  advertisement.  I  will  keep  the  thing  in  mind, 
and  if  nothing  better  turns  up  I  will  offer  to  buy  it.  That  will 
answer  every  purpose.  It  will  furnish  me  a  couple  of  columns 
of  gratis  advertising  in  every  English  and  American  paper  for 


BARNUM  S   CHANCE 


a  couple  of  months,  and  give  my  show  the  biggest  boom  a 

show  ever  had  in  this  world." 

Jamrach  started  to  deliver  a  burst  of  admiration,  but  was 

interrupted  by  Barnum,  who  said  — 

"  Here  is  a  state  of  things  !     England  ought  to  blush." 
His  eye  had  fallen  upon  something  in  the  newspaper.      He 

read  it  through  to  himself,  then  read  it  aloud.     It  said  that 

the  house  that  Shakespeare  was  born  in  at  Stratford-on-Avon 


BARNUM   BUYS   JUMBO.  (J41 

was  falling  gradually  to  ruin  through  neglect ;  that  the  room 
where  the  poet  first  saw  the  light  was  now  serving  as  a 
butcher's  shop ;  that  all  appeals  to  England  to  contribute 
money  (the  requisite  sum  stated)  to  buy  and  repair  the  house 
and  place  it  in  the  care  of  salaried  and  trustworthy  keepers 
had  fallen  resultless.     Then  Barnuni  said  — 

'•  There's  my  chance.  Let  Jumbo  and  the  Monument  alone 
for  the  present—  they'll  keep.  I'll  buy  Shakespeare's  house. 
I'll  set  it  up  in  my  Museum  in  New  York  and  put  a  glass  case 
around  it  and  make  a  sacred  thing  of  it ;  and  you'll  see  all 
America  flock  there  to  worship ;  yes,  and  pilgrims  from  the 
whole  earth ;  and  I'll  make  them  take  their  hats  off,  too.  In 
America  we  know  how  to  value  anything  that  Shakespeare's 
touch  has  made  holy.     You'll  see." 

In  conclusion  the  S.  C.  P.  said  : 

"  That  is  the  way  the  thing  came  about.  Barnum  did  buy 
Shakespeare's  house.  He  paid  the  price  asked,  and  received 
the  properly  attested  documents  of  sale.  Then  there  was  an 
explosion,  I  can  tell  you.  England  rose!  What,  the  birth- 
place of  the  master-genius  of  all  the  ages  and  all  the  climes  - 
that  priceless  possession  of  Britain --to  be  carted  out  of  the 
country  like  so  much  old  lumber  and  set  up  for  sixpenny  dese- 
cration in  a  Yankee  show-shop  —  the  idea  was  not  to  be  toler- 
ated for  a  moment.  England  rose  in  her  indignation,  and 
Barnum  was  glad  to  relinquish  his  prize  and  offer  apologies. 
However,  he  stood  out  for  a  compromise ;  he  claimed  a  con- 
cession--England  must  let  him  have  Jumbo.  And  England 
consented,  but  not  cheerfully." 

It  shows  how,  by  help  of  time,  a  story  can  grow — even 

after  Barnum   has  had  the  first  innings  in  the  telling  of  it. 

Mr.  Barnum  told  me  the  story  himself,  years  ago.     He  said 

that  the  permission  to  buy  Jumbo  was  not  a  concession;  the 

41 


642  FOLLOWING    THE   EQUATOR, 

purchase  was  made  and  the  animal  delivered  before  the  public 
knew  anything  about  it.  Also,  that  the  securing  of  Jumbo 
was  all  the  advertisement  he  needed.  It  produced  many 
columns  of  newspaper  talk,  free  of  cost,  and  he  was  satisfied. 
He  said  that  if  he  had  failed  to  get  Jumbo  he  would  have 
caused  his  notion  of  buying  the  Nelson  Monument  to  be  treach- 
erously  smuggled  into  print  by  some  trusty  friend,  and  after 
he  had  gotton  a  few  hundred  pages  of  gratuitous  advertising- 
out  of  it,  he  would  have  come  out  with  a  blundering,  obtuse, 
but  warm-hearted  letter  of  apology,  and  in  a  postscript  to  it 
would  have  naively  proposed  to  let  the  Monument  go,  and 
take  Stonehenge  in  place  of  it  at  the  same  price. 

It  was  his  opinion  that  such  a  letter,  written  with  well- 
simulated  asinine  innocence  and  gush  would  have  gotten  his 
ignorance  and  stupidity  an  amount  of  newspaper  abuse  worth 
six  fortunes  to  him,  and  not  purchasable  for  twice  the  money. 

I  knew  Mr.  Barnum  well,  and  I  placed  every  confidence  in 
the  account  which  he  gave  me  of  the  Shakespeare  birthplace 
episode.  He  said  he  found  the  house  neglected  and  going  to 
decay,  and  he  inquired  into  the  matter  and  was  told  that  many 
times  earnest  efforts  had  been  made  to  raise  money  for  its 
proper  repair  and  preservation,  but  without  success.  He  then 
proposed  to  buy  it.  The  proposition  was  entertained,  and  a 
price  named  —  $50,000,  I  think  ;  but  whatever  it  was,  Barnum 
paid  the  money  down,  without  remark,  and  the  papers  were 
drawn  up  and  executed.  He  said  that  it  had  been  his  purpose 
to  set  up  the  house  in  his  Museum,  keep  it  in  repair,  protect  it 
from  name-scribblers  and  other  desecrators,  and  leave  it  by 
bequest  to  the  safe  and  perpetual  guardianship  of  the  Smith- 
sonian Institute  at  Washington. 

But  as  soon  as  it  was  found  that  Shakespeare's  house  had 
passed  into  foreign  hands  and  was  going  to  be  carried  across 
the  ocean,  England  was  stirred  as  no  appeal  from  the  custo- 


BARNUM'S   CI. AIM.  643 

dians  of  the  relic  had  ever  stirred  England  before,  and  protests 
came  flowing  in  —  and  money,  too,  to  stop  the  outrage.  Offers 
of  re-purchase  were  made  —  offers  of  double  the  money  that 
Mr.  Barnum  had  paid  for  the  house.  lie  handed  the  house 
back,  but  took  only  the  sum  which  it  had  cost  him-  -but  on  the 
condition  that  an  endowment  sufficient  for  the  future  safe- 
guarding and  maintenance  of  the  sacred  relic  should  be  raised. 
This  condition  was  fulfilled. 

That  was  Barnum's  account  of  the  episode ;  and  to  the  end 
of  his  days  he  claimed  with  pride  and  satisfaction  that  not 
England,  but  America  —  represented  by  him—saved  the  birth- 
place of  Shakespeare  from  destruction. 

At  3  p.  m.,  May  6th,  the  ship  slowed  down,  off  the  land,  and 
thoughtfully  and  cautiously  picked  her  way  into  the  snug 
harbor  of  Durban,  South  Africa. 


CHAPTEK  LXY. 

In  statesmanship  get  the  formalities  right,  never  mind  about  the  moralities. 

—  PttdcVtihead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

rROM  Diary: 
Royal  Hotel.  Comfortable,  good  table,  good  service 
of  natives  and  Madrasis.  Curious  jumble  of  modern 
and  ancient  city  and  village,  primitiveness  and  the  other  thing. 
Electric  bells,  but  thev  don't  ring.  Asked  whv  thev  didn't, 
the  watchman  in  the  office  said  he  thought  thev  must  be  out 
of  order ;  he  thought  so  because  some  of  them  rang,  but  most 
of  them  didn't.  Wouldn't  it  be  a  good  idea  to  put  them  in 
order?  He  hesitated — like  one  who  isn't  quite  sure --then 
conceded  the  point, 

May  7.  A  bang  on  the  door  at  6.  Did  I  want  my  boots 
cleaned  (  Fifteen  minutes  later  another  bang.  Did  we  want 
coffee '.  Fifteen  later,  bang  again,  my  wife's  bath  ready  ;  15 
later,  my  bath  ready.  Two  other  bangs;  I  forget  what  they 
were  about.  Then  lots  of  shouting  back  and  forth,  among  the 
servants  just  as  in  an  Indian  hotel. 

Evening.  At  4  p.m.  it  was  unpleasantly  warm.  Half-hour 
after  sunset  one  needed  a  spring  overcoat ;  by  S  a  winter  one. 

Durban  is  a  neat  and  clean  town.  One  notices  that  with- 
out having  his  attention  called  to  it. 

Rickshaws  drawn  by  splendidly  built  black  Zulus,  so  over- 
flowing with  strength,  seemingly,  that  it  is  a  pleasure,  not  a 
pain,  to  see  them  snatch  a  rickshaw  along.  They  smile  and 
laufi-h  and  show  their  teeth  —  a  good-natured  lot,  Kot  allowed 
to  drink ;    2s  per  hour  for  one  person ;  3s  for  two ;  3d  for  a 

course  — one  person. 

(644) 


THE   PIOUS   CHAMELEON. 


645 


The  chameleon  in  tht  hotel  court.  He  is  fat  and  indolent 
and  contemplative;  but  is  business-like  and  capable  when  a 
fly  comes  about  —  reaches  out  a  tongue  like  a  teaspoon  and 
takes  him  in.  He  gums  his  tongue  first.  He  is  always  pious, 
in  his  looks.  And  pious  and  thankful  both,  when  Providence 
or  one  of  us  sends  him  a  fly.  He  has  a  froggy  head,  and  a 
back  like  a  new  grave  — for  shape:  and  hands  like  a  bird's 
toes  that  have  been  frost- 
bitten. But  his  eyes  are  his 
exhibition  feature.  A  couple 
of  skinny  cones  project  from 
the  sides  of  his  head,  with  a 
wee  shiny  bead  of  an  eye  set 
in  the  apex  of  each ;  and 
these  cones  turn  bodily  like 
pivot-guns  and  point  every - 
which-wav,  and  they  are  in- 
dependent  of  each  other: 
each  has  its  own  exclusive 
machinery.  "When  I  am  be- 
hind him  and  C.  in  front  of 
him,  he  whirls  one  eye  rear- 
wards and  the  other  forwards 

i    •    i  •  i    •  A    CONGRESSIONAL    EXPRESSION. 

—  which   gives  him   a   most 

Congressional  expression  (one  eye  on  the  constituency  and  one 
on  the  swag) ;  and  then  if  something  happens  above  and  below 
him  he  shoots  out  one  eye  upward  like  a  telescope  and  the 
other  downward  —  and  this  changes  his  expression,  but  does 
not  improve  it. 

Natives  must  not  be  out  after  the  curfew  bell  without  a 
pass.     In  Natal  there  are  ten  blacks  to  one  white. 

Sturdy  plump  creatures  are  the  women.     They  comb  their 
wool  up  to  a  peak  and  keep  it  in  position  by  stiffening  it  with 


040 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


brown-red  clay --half  of  this  tower  colored,  denotes  eneraere- 
ment ;  the  whole  of  it  colored  denotes  marriage. 

None  but  heathen  Zulus  on  the  police;  Christian  ones  not 
allowed. 

May  9.  A  drive  yesterday  with  friends  over  the  Berea. 
Very  fine  roads  and  lofty,  overlooking  the  whole  town,  the 
harbor,  and  the  sea    -beautiful  views.     Residences  all  along, 

set  in  the  midst  of  green  lawns 
with  shrubs  and  generally  one 
or  two  intensely  red  out- 
bursts of  poinsettia  —  the 
flaming  splotch  of  blinding 
red  a  stunning  contrast  with 
the  world  of  surrounding 
green.  The  cactus  tree  — 
candelabrum  -  like ;  and  one 
twisted  like  gray  writhing 
serpents.  The  "  flat-crown  " 
(should  be  flat-roof) — half  a 
dozen  naked  branches  full  of 
elbows,  slant  upward  like  arti- 
ficial supports,  and  fling  a  roof 

A    FASHION    IN    HAIR. 

ot  delicate  foliage  out  m  a 
horizontal  platform  as  flat  as  a  floor  ;  and  you  look  up  through 
this  thin  floor  as  through  a  green  cobweb  or  veil.  The  branches 
are  japanesich.  All  about  you  is  a  bewildering  variety  of  un- 
familiar and  beautiful  trees ;  one  sort  wonderfully  dense  foliage 
and  very  dark  green --so  dark  that  you  notice  it  at  once,  not- 
withstanding there  are  so  many  orange  trees.  The  "flamboy- 
ant "  -  not  in  flower,  now,  but  when  in  flower  lives  up  to  its 
name,  we  are  told.  Another  tree  with  a  lovely  upright  tassel 
scattered  among  its  rich  greenery,  red  and  glowing  as  a  fire- 
coal.     Here  and  there  a  gum-trot1 ;  half  a  dozen  lofty  Norfolk 


THE    GARDEN   OF   Sol  Til   AFRICA.  647 

Island  pines  lifting  their  fronded  arms  skyward.  Groups  of 
tall  bamboo. 

Saw  one  bird.  Xot  many  birds  here,  and  they  have  no 
music  —  and  the  Mowers  not  much  smell,  they  grow  so  fast. 

Everything  neat  and  trim  and  clean  like  the  town.  The 
loveliest  trees  and  the  greatest  variety  I  have  ever  seen  any- 
where, except  approaching  Darjeeling.  Have  not  heard  any- 
one call  Natal  the  garden  of  South  Africa,  but  that  is  what  it 
probably  is. 

It  was  when  Bishop  of  Natal  that  Colenso  raised  such  a, 
storm  in  the  religious  world.  The  concerns  of  religion  are  a 
vital  matter  here  yet.  A  vigilant  eye  is  kept  upon  Sunday. 
Museums  and  other  dangerous  resorts  are  not  allowed  to  be 
open.  You  may  sail  on  the  Bay,  but  it  is  wicked  to  play 
cricket.  For  a  while  a  Sunday  concert  was  tolerated,  upon 
condition  that  it  must  be  admission  free  and  the  money  taken 
by  collection.  But  the  collection  was  alarmingly  large  and 
that  stopped  the  matter.  They  are  particular  about  babies. 
A  clergyman  would  not  bury  a  child  according  to  the  sacred 
rites  because  it  had  not  been  baptized.  The  Hindoo  is  more 
liberal.  He  burns  no  child  under  three,  holding  that  it  does 
not  need  purifying. 

The  King  of  the  Zulus,  a  fine  fellow  of  30,  was  banished  six 
years  ago  for  a  term  of  seven  years.  He  is  occupying  Napo- 
leon's old  stand  --  St.  Helena.  The  people  are  a  little  nervous 
about  having  him  come  back,  and  they  may  well  be,  for  Zulu 
kings  have  been  terrible  people  sometimes  —  like  Tchaka, 
Dingaan,  and  Cetewayo. 

There  is  a  large  Trappist  monastery  two  hours  from  Dur- 
ban, over  the  country  roads,  and  in  company  with  Mr.  Milligan 
and  Mr.  Hunter,  general  manager  of  the  Natal  government 
railways,  who  knew  the  heads  of  it,  we  went  out  to  see  it. 

There  it  all  was,  just  as  one  reads  about  it   in  books  and 


648  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

cannot  believe  that  it  is  so  —  I  mean  the  rough,  hard  work. 
the  impossible  hours,  the  scanty  food,  the  coarse  raiment,  the 
Maryborough  beds,  the  tabu  of  human  speech,  of  social  inter- 
course, of  relaxation,  of  amusement,  of  entertainment,  of  the 
presence  of  woman  in  the  men's  establishment.  There  it  all 
was.  It  was  not  a  dream,  it  was  not  a  lie.  And  yet  with  the 
fact  before  one's  face  it  was  still  incredible.  It  is  such  a 
sweeping  suppression  of  human  instincts,  such  an  extinction  of 
the  man  as  an  individual. 

La  Trappe  must  have  known  the  human  race  well.  The 
scheme  which  he  invented  hunts  out  evervthino-  that  a  man 
wants  and  values  —  and  withholds  it  from  him.  Apparently 
there  is  no  detail  that  can  help  make  life  worth  living  that 
has  not  been  carefully  ascertained  and  placed  out  of  the  Trap- 
pist's  reach.  La  Trappe  must  have  known  that  there  were 
men  who  would  enjoy  this  kind  of  misery,  but  how  did  he 
find  it  out  I 

If  he  had  consulted  you  or  me  he  would  have  been  told 
that  his  scheme  lacked  too  many  attractions;  that  it  was  im- 
possible ;  that  it  could  never  be  floated.  But  there  in  the 
monastery  was  proof  that  he  knew  the  human  race  better 
than  it  knew  itself.  He  set  his  foot  upon  every  desire  that 
a  man  has  —  yet  he  floated  his  project,  and  it  has  prospered 
for  two  hundred  years,  and  will  go  on  prospering  forever,  no 
doubt. 

Man  likes  personal  distinction  —  there  in  the  monastery  it 
is  obliterated.  He  likes  delicious  food  —  there  he  gets  beans 
and  bread  and  tea,  and  not  enough  of  it.  He  likes  to  lie 
softly  —  there  he  lies  on  a  sand  mattress,  and  has  a  pillow  and 
a  blanket,  but  no  sheet.  When  he  is  dining,  in  a  great  com- 
pany of  friends,  he  likes  to  laugh  and  chat --there  a  monk 
reads  a  holy  book  aloud  during  meals,  and  nobody  speaks  or 
laughs.     AVhen  a  man  has  a  hundred  friends  about  him,  even- 


THE   SUPPRESSION   OF   HUMAN   INSTINCTS. 


- 


LIFE   IN   A   MONASTERY.  651 

ings,  he  likes  to  have  a  good  time  and  run  Late  there  he  and 
the  rest  go  silently  to  bed  at  8  ;  and  in  the  dark,  too;  there  is 
but  a  loose  brown  robe  to  discard,  there  are  no  night-clothes  to 
put  on,  a  light  is  not  needed.  Aran  likes  to  lie  abed  late- 
there  he  gets  up  once  or  twice  in  the  night  to  perform  some 
religious  office,  and  gets  up  tinallv  for  the  dav  at  two  in  the 
morning:.  Alan  likes  light  work  or  none  at  all  there  he 
labors  all  day  in  the  field,  or  in  the  blacksmith  shop  or  the 
other  shops  devoted  to  the  mechanical  trades,  such  as  shoe- 
making,  saddlery,  carpentry,  and  so  on.  Man  likes  the  society  of 
girls  and  women  —  there  he  never  has  it.  lie  likes  to  have 
his  children  about  him.  and  pet  them  and  play  with  them  — 
there  he  has  none.  He  likes  billiards  —  there  is  no  table  there. 
He  likes  outdoor  sports  and  indoor  dramatic  and  musical  and 
social  entertainments  —  there  are  none  there.  He  likes  to  bet 
on  things  —  I  was  told  that  betting  is  forbidden  there.  When 
a  man's  temper  is  up  he  likes  to  pour  it  out  upon  somebody- 
there  this  is  not  allowed.  A  man  likes  animals  —  pets;  there 
are  none  there.  He  likes  to  smoke  —  there  he  cannot  do  it. 
He  likes  to  read  the  news  —  no  papers  or  magazines  come 
there.  A  man  likes  to  know  how  his  parents  and  brothers  and 
sisters  are  getting  along  when  he  is  away,  and  if  they  miss  him 
—  there  he  cannot  know.  A  man  likes  a  pretty  house,  and 
pretty  furniture,  and  pretty  things,  and  pretty  colors  —  there 
he  has  nothing  but  naked  aridity  and  sombre  colors.  A  man 
likes  —  name  it  yourself  :  whatever  it  is,  it  is  absent  from  that 
place. 

From  what  I  could  learn,  all  that  a  man  gets  for  this  is 
merely  the  saving  of  his  soul. 

It  all  seems  strange,  incredible,  impossible.  But  La  Trappe 
knew  the  race.  He  knew  the  powerful  attraction  of  unattract- 
iveness ;  he  knew  that  no  life  could  be  imagined,  howsoever 
comfortless  and  forbidding,  but  somebody  would  want  to  try  it. 

a'  <  «• 


652  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

This  parent  establishment  of  Germans  began  its  work  fif- 
teen years  ago,  strangers,  poor,  and  unencouraged ;  it  owns 
15,000  acres  of  land  now,  and  raises  grain  and  fruit,  and  makes 
wines,  and  manufactures  all  manner  of  things,  and  has  native 
apprentices  in  its  shops,  and  sends  them  forth  able  to  read  and 
write,  and  also  well  equipped  to  earn  their  living  by  their 
trades.  And  this  young  establishment  has  set  up  eleven 
branches  in  South  Africa,  and  in  them  they  are  christianizing 
and  educating  and  teaching  wage-yielding  mechanical  trades 
to  1,200  boys  and  girls.  Protestant  Missionary  work  is  coldly 
regarded  by  the  commercial  white  colonist  all  over  the  heathen 
world,  as  a  rule,  and  its  product  is  nicknamed  "rice-Christians" 
(occupationless  incapables  who  join  the  church  for  revenue 
only),  but  I  think  it  would  be  difficult  to  pick  a  flaw  in  the 
work  of  these  Catholic  monks,  and  I  believe  that  the  disposi- 
tion to  attempt  it  has  not  shown  itself. 

Tuesday,  May  1.!.  Transvaal  politics  in  a  confused  condi- 
tion. First  the  sentencing  of  the  Johannesburg  Reformers 
startled  England  by  its  severity  ;  on  the  top  of  this  came 
Kruger's  exposure  of  the  cipher  correspondence,  which  showed 
that  the  invasion  of  the  Transvaal,  with  the  design  of  seizing 
that  country  and  adding  it  to  the  British  Empire,  was  planned 
by  Cecil  Rhodes  and  Beit  -  -  which  made  a  revulsion  in  Eng- 
lish feeling,  and  brought  out  a  storm  against  Rhodes  and  the 
Chartered  Company  for  degrading  British  honor.  For  a  good 
while  I  couldn't  seem  to  get  at  a  clear  comprehension  of  it,  it 
was  so  tangled.  But  at  last  by  patient  study  I  have  managed 
it,  I  believe.  As  I  understand  it,  the  Uitlanders  and  other 
Dutchmen  were  dissatisfied  because  the  English  would  not 
allow  them  to  take  any  part  in  the  government  except  to  pay 
taxes.  Next,  as  I  understand  it,  Dr.  Kruger  and  Dr.  Jameson, 
not  having  been  able  to  make  the  medical  business  pay,  made 
a  raid  into  Matabeleland  with  the  intention  of  capturing  the 


TO   BULL   THE    STOCK    MARKET. 


653 


capital,  Johannesburg,  and  holding  the  women  and  children  to 
ransom  until  the  Uitlanders  and  the  other  Boers  should  grant 
to  them  and  the  Chartered  Company  the  political  rights  which 
had  been  withheld  from  them.  They  would  have  succeeded  in 
this  great  scheme,  as  I  understand  it,  but  for  the  interference 
of  Cecil  Rhodes  and  Mr.  Beit,  and  other  Chiefs  of  the  Mata- 
bele,  who  persuaded  their  countrymen  to  revolt  and  throw  off 
their  allegiance  to  Germany.  This,  in  turn,  as  I  understand 
it,  provoked  the  King  of  Abyssinia  to  destroy  the  Italian  army 
and  fall  back  upon  Johannesburg ;  this  at  the  instigation  of 
Rhodes,  to  bull  the  stock  market. 


CHAPTER  LXVI. 

Every  oue  is  a  moon,  and  has  a  dark  side  which  he  never  shows  to  anybody. — 
PudiV nhead  Wilson'' s  New  Calendar. 


V 


HEN  I  scribbled  in  my  note-book  a  year  ago  the  para- 
graph which  ends  the  preceding  chapter,  it  was 
meant  to  indicate,  in  an  extravagant  form,  two 
things  :  the  conflicting  nature  of  the  information  conveyed  by 
the  citizen  to  the  stranger  concerning  South  African  politics, 
and  the  resulting  confusion  created  in  the  stranger's  mind 
thereby. 

But  it  does  not  seem  so  very  extravagant  now.  Nothing 
could  in  that  disturbed  and  excited  time  make  South  African 
politics  clear  or  quite  rational  to  the  citizen  of  the  country  be- 
cause his  personal  interest  and  his  political  prejudices  were  in 
his  way ;  and  nothing  could  make  those  politics  clear  or 
rational  to  the  stranger,  the  sources  of  his  information  being 
such  as  they  were. 

I  was  in  South  Africa  some  little  time.  When  I  arrived 
there  the  political  pot  was  boiling  fiercely.  Four  months  pre- 
viously, Jameson  had  plunged  over  the  Transvaal  border  with 
about  600  armed  horsemen  at  his  back,  to  go  to  the  "  relief  of 
the  women  and  children  "  of  Johannesburg ;  on  the  fourth  day 
of  his  march  the  Boers  had  defeated  him  in  battle,  and  carried 
him  and  his  men  to  Pretoria,  the  capital,  as  prisoners;  the  Boer 
government  had  turned  Jameson  and  his  officers  over  to  the 
British  government  for  trial,  and  shipped  them  to  England  ; 
next,  it  had  arrested  64  important  citizens  of  Johannesburg  as 
raid-conspirators,  condemned  their  four  leaders  to  death,  then 

(654) 


THE   POLITICAL   T'OT. 


ONE   SIDE   OF   THE   QUARREL.  657 

commuted  the  sentences,  and  now  the  64  were  waiting,  in  jail, 
for  further  results.  Before  midsummer  they  were  all  out  ex- 
cepting two,  who  refused  to  sign  the  petitions  for  release;  58 
had  been  fined  $10,000  each  and  enlarged,  and  the  four  leaders 
had  gotten  off  with  fines  of  $125,000  each  —  with  permanent 
exile  added,  in  one  case. 

Those  were  wonderfully  interesting  days  for  a  stranger, 
and  1  was  glad  to  be  in  the  thick  of  the  excitement.  Every- 
body was  talking,  and  I  expected  to  understand  the  whole  of 
one  side  of  it  in  a  very  little  while. 

I  was  disappointed.  There  were  singularities,  perplexities, 
unaccountabilities  about  it  which  I  was  not  able  to  master.  1 
had  no  personal  access  to  Boers  —  their  side  was  a  secret  to  me, 
aside  from  what  I  was  able  to  gather  of  it  from  published 
statements.  My  sympathies  were  soon  with  the  Reformers  in 
the  Pretoria  jail,  with  their  friends,  and  with  their  cause.  By 
diligent  inquiry  in  Johannesburg  I  found  out  —  apparently  — 
all  the  details  of  their  side  of  the  quarrel  except  one — icJuif 
they  expected  to  accomplish  by  "<<  armed  rising. 

Nobody  seemed  to  know. 

The  reason  why  the  Reformers  were  discontented  and 
wanted  some  changes  made,  seemed  quite  clear.  In  Johannes- 
burg it  was  claimed  that  tin1  Uitlanders  (strangers,  foreigners) 
paid  thirteen-fifteenths  of  the  Transvaal  taxes,  yet  got  little  or 
nothing  for  it.  Their  city  had  no  charter;  it  had  no  municipal 
government ;  it  could  levy  no  taxes  for  drainage,  water-supply, 
paving,  cleaning,  sanitation,  policing.  There  was  a  police 
force,  but  it  was  composed  of  Boers,  it  was  furnished  by  the 
State  Government,  ami  the  city  had  no  control  over  it.  Min- 
ing was  very  costlv  ;  the  government  enormouslv  increased  the 
cost  by  putting  burdensome  taxes  upon  the  mines,  the  output, 
the  machinery,  the  buildings;  by  burdensome  imposts 
42 


658  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

upon  incoming  materials;  by  burdensome  railway-freight- 
charges.  Hardest  of  all  to  bear,  the  government  reserved  to 
itself  a  monopoly  in  that  essential  thing,  dynamite,  and 
burdened  it  with  an  extravagant  price.  The  detested  Hol- 
lander from  over  the  water  held  all  the  public  offices.  The 
government  was  rank  with  corruption.  The  Uitlander  had  no 
vote,  and  must  live  in  the  State  ten  or  twelve  years  before  he 
could  get  one.  He  was  not  represented  in  the  Raad  (legis- 
lature) that  oppressed  him  and  fleeced  him.  Religion  was  not 
free.  There  were  no  schools  where  the  teaching  was  in  Eng- 
lish,  yet  the  great  majority  of  the  white  population  of  the 
State  knew  no  tongue  but  that.  The  State  would  not  pass  a 
liquor  law ;  but  allowed  a  great  trade  in  cheap  vile  brandy 
among  the  blacks,  with  the  result  that  25  per  cent,  of  the 
50,000  blacks  emplo}Ted  in  the  mines  were  usually  drunk  and 
incapable  of  working. 

There  —  it  was  plain  enough  that  the  reasons  for  wanting 
some  changes  made  were  abundant  and  reasonable,  if  this  state- 
ment of  the  existing  grievances  was  correct. 

What  the  Uitlanders  wanted  was  reform  —  under  the  exist- 
ing Republic. 

What  they  proposed  to  do  was  to  secure  these  reforms  by 
prayer,  petition,  and 'persuasion. 

They  did  petition.  Also,  they  issued  a  Manifesto,  whose 
very  first  note  is  a  bugle-blast  of  loyalty :  "  We  want  the 
establishment  of  this  Republic  as  a  true  Republic." 

Could  anything  be  clearer  than  the  Uitlander's  statement 
of  the  grievances  and  oppressions  under  which  they  were 
suffering  ?  Could  anything  be  more  legal  and  citizenlike  and 
law-respecting  than  their  attitude  as  expressed  by  their  Mani- 
festo i  No.  Those  things  were  perfectly  clear,  perfectly  com- 
prehensible. 

But  at  this  point  the  puzzles  and  riddles  and  confusions 


THE  REFORMER'S   MOTIF.  659 

begin  to  flock  in.  You  have  arrived  at  a  place  which  you  can- 
not quite  understand. 

For  you  find  that  as  a  preparation  for  this  loyal,  lawful, 
and  in  every  way  unexceptionable  attempt  to  persuade  the  gov- 
ernment to  right  their  grievances,  the  Fit  landers  had  smuo'- 
gied  a  Maxim  gun  or  two  and  1,500  muskets  into  the  town, 
concealed  in  oil  tanks  and  coal  cars,  and  had  begun  to  form 
and  drill  military  companies  composed  of  clerks,  merchants, 
and  citizens  g-enerallv. 

What  was  their  idea  '.  Did  they  suppose  that  the  Boers 
would  attack  them  for  petitioning  for  red/resst  That  could 
not  be. 

Did  they  suppose  that  the  Boers  would  attack  them  even 
for  issuing  a  Manifesto  demanding  relief  under  the  existing 
government  \ 

Yes,  they  apparently  believed  so,  because  the  air  was  full  of 
talk  of  forcing  the  government  to  grant  redress  if  it  were  not 
granted  peacefully. 

The  Reformers  were  men  of  high  intelligence.  If  they 
were  in  earnest,  they  were  taking  extraordinary  risks.  They 
had  enormously  valuable  properties  to  defend  ;  their  town  was 
full  of  women  and  children  ;  their  mines  and  compounds  were 
packed  with  thousands  upon  thousands  of  sturdy  blacks.  If 
the  Boers  attacked,  the  mines  would  close,  the  blacks  would 
swarm  out  and  get  drunk  ;  riot  and  conflagration  and  the  Boers 
together  might  lose  the  Reformers  more  in  a  day,  in  money, 
blood,  and  suffering,  than  the  desired  political  relief  could  com- 
pensate in  ten  years  if  they  won  the  fight  and  secured  the 
reforms. 

It  is  May,  1807,  now ;  a  year  has  gone  by,  and  the  confu- 
sions of  that  day  have  been  to  a  considerable  degree  cleared 
away.  Mr.  Cecil  Rhodes,  Dr.  Jameson,  and  others  responsible 
for  the  Raid,  have  testified  before  the  Parliamentary  ( 'ommittee 


660  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

of  Inquiry  in  London,  and  so  have  Mr.  Lionel  Phillips  and 
other  Johannesburg  Reformers,  monthly-nurses  of  the  Revolu- 
tion which  was  born  dead.  These  testimonies  have  thrown 
light.  Three  books  have  been  added  much  to  this  light : 
"  South  Africa  As  It  Is,"  by  Mr.  Statham.  an  able  writer 
partial  to  the  Boers ;  "  The  Story  of  an  African  Crisis," 
by  Mr.  Garrett,  a  brilliant  writer  partial  to  Rhodes  ;  and  "  A 
Woman's  Part  in  a  Revolution."  by  Mrs.  John  Hays  Ham- 
mond, a  vigorous  and  vivid  diarist,  partial  to  the  Reformers. 
By  liquifying  the  evidence  of  the  prejudiced  books  and  of 
the  prejudiced  parliamentary  witnesses  and  stirring  the  whole 
together  and  pouring  it  into  my  own  (prejudiced)  moulds,  I 
have  got  at  the  truth  of  that  puzzling  South  African  situation, 
which  is  this : 

1.  The  capitalists  and  other  chief  men  of  Johannesburg- 
were  fretting  under  various  political  and  financial  burdens  im- 
posed by  the  State  (the  South  African  Republic,  sometimes 
called  "the  Transvaal")  and  desired  to  procure  by  peaceful 
means  a  modification  of  the  laws. 

2.  Mr.  Cecil  Rhodes,  Premier  of  the  British  Cape  Colony, 
millionaire,  creator  and  managing  director  of  the  territorially- 
immense  and  financially  unproductive  South  Africa  Company  : 
projector  of  vast  schemes  for  the  unification  and  consolidation  of 
all  the  South  African  States  into  one  imposing  commonwealth 
or  empire  under  the  shadow  and  general  protection  of  the 
British  flag,  thought  he  saw  an  opportunity  to  make  profitable 
use  of  the  Uitlander  discontent  above  mentioned  —  make  the 
Johannesburg  cat  help  pull  out  one  of  his  consolidation  chest- 
nuts for  him.  With  this  view  he  set  himself  the  task  of  warm- 
ing the  lawful  and  legitimate  petitions  and  supplications  of  the 
Uitlanders  into  seditious  talk,  and  their  frettings  into  threat- 
enings — the  final  outcome  to  be  revolt  and  armed  rebellion. 
If  he  could  bring  about  a  bloody  collision  between  those  people 


THAT    FAMOUS    LETTER.  661 

and  the  Boer  government,  Great  Britain  would  have  to  inter- 
fere; her  interference  would  be  resisted  by  the  Boers:  she 
would  chastise  them  and  add  the  Transvaal  to  her  South  Afri- 
can possessions.  It  was  not  a  foolish  idea,  but  a  rational  and 
practical  one. 

After  a  couple  of  years  of  judicious  plotting,  Mr.  Rhodes 
had  his  reward;  the  revolutionary  kettle  was  briskly  boiling  in 
Johannesburg,  and  the  Uitlander  leaders  were  backing  their 
appeals  to  the  government  —  now  hardened  into  demands  — 
by  threats  of  force  and  bloodshed.  By  the  middle  of  De- 
cember. 1SS>5,  the  explosion  seemed  imminent.  Mr.  Rhodes  was 
diligently  helping,  from  his  distant  post  in  Cape  Town.  He 
was  helping  to  procure  arms  for  Johannesburg ;  he  was  also 
arranging  to  have  Jameson  break  over  the  border  and  come  to 
Johannesburg  with  600  mounted  men  at  his  back.  Jameson  — 
as  per  instructions  from  Rhodes,  perhaps-- wanted  a  letter 
from  the  Reformers  requesting  him  to  come  to  their  aid.  It 
was  a  good  idea.  It  would  throw  a  considerable  share  of  the 
responsibility  of  his  invasion  upon  the  Reformers.  He  got  the 
letter  —  that  famous  one  urging  him  to  fly  to  the  rescue  of  the 
women  and  children.  He  got  it  two  months  before  he  flew. 
The  Reformers  seem  to  have  thought  it  over  and  concluded 
that  they  had  not  done  wisely  ;  for  the  next  day  after  giving 
Jameson  the  implicating  document  they  wanted  to  withdraw 
it  and  leave  the  women  and  children  in  danger  ;  but  they  were 
told  that  it  was  too  late.  The  original  had  gone  to  Mr.  Rhodes 
at  the  Cape.     Jameson  had  kept  a  copy,  though. 

From  that  time  until  the  29th  of  December,  a  good  deal  of 
the  Reformers"  time  was  taken  up  with  energetic  efforts  to 
keep  Jameson  from  coming  to  their  assistance.  Jameson's  in- 
vasion had  been  set  for  the  26th.  The  Reformers  were  not 
ready.  The  town  was  not  united.  Some  wanted  a  tight, 
some  wanted  peace  ;  some  wanted  a   new  government,  some 


QQ2  FOLLOWING    THE  EQUATOR. 

wanted  the  existing  one  reformed;  apparently  very  few  wanted 
the  revolution  to  take  place  in  the  interest  and  under  the  ulti- 
mate shelter  of  the  Imperial  flag--  British  ;  yet  a  report  began 
to  spread  that  Mi1.  Rhodes' s  embarrassing  assistance  had  for  its 
end  this  latter  object. 

Jameson  was  away  up  on  the  frontier  tugging  at  his  leash, 
fretting-  to  burst  over  the  border.  By  hard  work  the  Reform- 
ers  got  his  starting-date  postponed  a  little,  and  wanted  to  get 
it  postponed  eleven  days.  Apparently,  Rhodes's  agents  were 
seconding  their  efforts  —  in  fact  wearing  out  the  telegraph 
wires  trying  to  hold  him  back.  Rhodes  was  himself  the  only 
man  who  could  have  effectively  postponed  Jameson,  but  that 
would  have  been  a  disadvantage  to  his  scheme  ;  indeed,  it  could 
spoil  his  whole  two  years'  work. 

Jameson  endured  postponement  three  days,  then  resolved 
to  wait  no  longer.  Without  any  orders  —  excepting  Mr. 
Rhodes's  significant  silence  —  he  cut  the  telegraph  wires  on  the 
29th,  and  made  his  plunge  that  night,  to  go  to  the  rescue  of  the 
women  and  children,  by  urgent  request  of  a  letter  now  nine 
days  old  —  as  per  date,  —  a  couple  of  months  old,  in  fact.  He 
read  the  letter  to  his  men,  and  it  affected  them.  It  did  not  af- 
fect all  of  them  alike.  Some  saw  in  it  a  piece  of  piracy  of 
doubtful  wisdom,  and  were  sorry  to  find  that  they  had  been 
assembled  to  violate  friendly  territory  instead  of  to  raid  native 
kraals,  as  they  had  supposed. 

Jameson  would  have  to  ride  150  miles.  He  knew  that  there 
were  suspicions  abroad  in  the  Transvaal  concerning  him,  but  he 
expected  to  get  through  to  Johannesburg  before  they  should 
become  general  and  obstructive.  But  a  telegraph  wire  had 
been  overlooked  and  not  cut,  It  spread  the  news  of  his  inva- 
sion far  and  wide,  and  a  few  hours  after  his  start  the  Boer 
farmers  were  riding  hard  from  every  direction  to  intercept 
him. 


POF.H   WAR  SCENES. 


THE   CLIMAX.  665 

As  soon  as  it  was  known  in  Johannesburg  that  be  was  on 
his  way  to  rescue  the  women  and  children,  the  grateful  people 
put  the  women  and  children  in  a  train  and  rushed  them  for 
Australia.  In  fact,  the  approach  of  Johannesburg's  sa  \i<  >ur  cre- 
ated panic  and  consternation  there,  and  a  multitude  of  males 
of  peaceable  disposition  swept  to  the  trains  like  a  sand-storm. 
The  early  ones  fared  best;  they  secured  seats  —  by  sitting  in 
them  —  eight  hours  before  the  first  train  was  timed  to  leave. 

Mr.  Rhodes  lost  no  time.  He  cabled  the  renowned  Johan- 
nesburg letter  of  invitation  to  the  London  press  —  the  gray- 
headedest  piece  of  ancient  history  that  ever  went  over  a  cable. 

The  new  poet  laureate  lost  no  time.  He  came  out  with  a 
rousing  poem  lauding  Jameson's  prompt  and  splendid  heroism 
in  flying  to  the  rescue  of  the  women  and  children;  for  the  poet 
could  not  know  that  he  did  not  fly  until  two  months  after  the 
invitation.  He  was  deceived  bv  the  false  date  of  the  letter, 
which  was  December  20th. 

Jameson  was  intercepted  by  the  Boers  on  New  Years  Day, 
and  on  the  next  day  he  surrendered.  He  had  carried  his  copy 
of  the  letter  along,  and  if  his  instructions  required  him  —  in 
case  of  emergency  —  to  see  that  it  fell  into  the  hands  of  the 
Boers,  he  loyally  carried  them  out.  Mrs.  Hammond  gives  him 
a  sharp  rap  for  his  supposed  carelessness,  and  emphasizes  her 
feeling  about  it  with  burning  italics:  "  It  was  picked  up  on  the 
battle-field  in  a  leathern  pouch,  supposed  to  be  Dr.  Jameson's 
saddle-bag.  Why,  in  the  name  of  nil  that  is  discreet  and  hon- 
orable, didn't  ht  <  at  it !  " 

She  requires  too  much.  He  was  not  in  the  service  of  the 
Reformers — excepting  ostensibly ;  he  was  in  the  service  of  Mr. 
Rhodes.  It  was  the  only  plain  English  document,  undarkened 
by  ciphers  and  mysteries,  and  responsibly  signed  and  authenti- 
cated, which  squarely  implicated  the  Reformers  in  the  raid,  and 
it  was  not  to  Mr.  Rhodes'*  interest  that  it  should  be  eaten.    Be- 


606  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

sides,  that  letter  was  not  the  original,  it  was  only  a  copy.  Mr. 
Rhodes  had  the  original  —  and  didn't  eat  it.  He  cabled  it  to 
the  London  press.  It  had  already  been  read  in  England  and 
America  and  all  over  Europe  before  Jameson  dropped  it  on  the 
battlefield.  If  the  subordinate's  knuckles  deserved  a  rap,  the 
principal's  deserved  as  many  as  a  couple  of  them. 

That  letter  is  a  juicily  dramatic  incident  and  is  entitled  to 
all  its  celebrity,  because  of  the  odd  ami  variegated  effects  which 
it  produced.  All  within  the  space  of  a  single  week  it  had  made 
Jameson  an  illustrious  hero  in  England,  a  pirate  in  Pretoria, 
and  an  ass  without  discretion  or  honor  in  Johannesburg-;  also 
it  had  produced  a  poetdaureatic  explosion  of  colored  fireworks 
which  filled  the  world's  sky  with  giddy  splendors,  and  the 
knowledge  that  Jameson  was  coming  with  it  to  rescue  the 
women  and  children  emptied  Johannesburg  of  that  detail  of 
the  population.  For  an  old  letter,  this  was  much.  For  a  let- 
ter two  months  old,  it  did  marvels ;  if  it  had  been  a  vear  old  it 
would  have  done  miracles. 


CHAPTER   LXYII. 

First  catch  your  Boer,  then  kick  him. —  Padd'nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

THOSE   latter   days   were    days    of    bitter   worry   and 
trouble  for  the  harassed  Reformers. 
From  Mrs.  Hammond  we  learn  that  on  the  81st  (the 
day  after  Johannesburg  heard  of  the  invasion),  "  the  Reform 
Committee  repudiates  Dr.  Jameson's  inroad." 

It  also  publishes  its  intention  to  adhere  to  the  Manifesto. 

It  also  earnestly  desires  that  the  inhabitants  shall  refrain 
from  overt  acts  against  the  Boer  government. 

It  also  "  distributes  arms "  at  the  Court  House,  and  fur- 
nishes horses  "  to  the  newly -enrolled  volunteers." 

It  also  brings  a  Transvaal  flag  into  the  committee-room, 
and  the  entire  body  swear  allegiance  to  it  "  with  uncovered 
heads  and  upraised  arms." 

Also  "one  thousand  Lee-Metford  rifles  have  been  given 
out "  —  to  rebels. 

Also,  in  a  speech,  Reformer  Lionel  Phillips  informs  the 
public  that  the  Reform  Committee  Delegation  has  "  been  re- 
ceived with  courtesy  by  the  Government  Commission,"  and 
"  been  assured  that  their  proposals  shall  be  earnestly  consid- 
ered." That  "  while  the  Reform  Committee  regretted  Jame- 
son's precipitate  action,  they  would  stand  by  him." 

Also  the  populace  are  in  a  state  of  "  wild  enthusiasm,"  and 
"  can  scarcelv  be  restrained  ;  they  want  to  so  out  to  meet 
Jameson  and  bring  him  in  with  triumphal  outcry." 

Also  the  British  Hio-h  Commissioner  has  issued  a  damnifv- 

ing  proclamation  against  Jameson  and  all  British  abettors  of 

his  game.     It  arrives  January  1st. 

(667) 


668  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

It  is  a  difficult  position  for  the  Reformers,  and  full  of  hin- 
drances and  perplexities.     Their  duty  is  hard,  but  plain: 

1.  They  have  to  repudiate  the  inroad,  and  stand  by  the 
inroader. 

2.  Thev  have  to  swear  allegiance  to  the  Boer  government, 
and  distribute  cavalry  horses  to  the  rebels. 

3.  Thev  have  to  forbid  overt  acts  against  the  Boer  gov- 
ernment,  and  distribute  arms  to  its  enemies. 

4.  Thev  have  to  avoid  collision  with  the  British  govern- 
ment.  but  still  stand  by  Jameson  and  their  new  oath  of  allegi- 
ance to  the  Boer  government,  taken,  uncovered,  in  presence  of 
its  flag. 

They  did  such  of  these  things  as  they  could;  they  tried  to 
do  them  all ;  in  fact,  did  do  them  all,  but  only  in  turn,  not 
simultaneously.  In  the  nature  of  things  thev  could  not  be 
made  to  simultane. 

In  preparing  for  armed  revolution  and  in  talking  revolu- 
tion, were  the  Reformers  ''bluffing,"  or  were  they  in  earnest? 
If  they  were  in  earnest,  they  were  taking  great  risks  —  as  has 
been  already  pointed  out.  A  gentleman  of  high  position  told 
me  in  Johannesburg  that  he  had  in  his  possession  a  printed 
document  proclaiming  a  new  government  and  naming  its  presi- 
dent—  one  of  the  Reform  leaders.  He  said  that  this  proclama- 
tion had  been  ready  for  issue,  but  was  suppressed  when  the 
raid  collapsed.  Perhaps  I  misunderstood  him.  Indeed,  I  must 
have  misunderstood  him,  for  I  have  not  seen  mention  of  this 
large  incident  in  print  anywhere. 

Besides,  I  hope  I  am  mistaken ;  for,  if  I  am,  then  there  is 
argument  that  the  Reformers  were  privately  not  serious,  but 
were  only  trying  to  scare  the  Boer  government  into  granting 
the  desired  reforms. 

The  Boer  government  was  scared,  and  it  had  a  right  to  be. 
For  if  Mr.  Rhodes's  plan  was  to  provoke  a  collision  that  would 


WHAT  I  SHOULD  HAVE  DONE.  669 

compel  the  interference  of  England,  that  was  a  serious  matter. 
If  it  could  be  shown  that  that  was  also  the  Reformers'  plan 
and  purpose,  it  would  prove  that  they  had  marked  out  a 
feasible  project,  at  any  rate,  although  it  was  one  which  could 
hardly  fail  to  cost  them  ruinously  before  England  should 
arrive.  But  it  seems  clear  that  they  had  no  such  plan  nor 
desire.  If,  when  the  worst  should  come  to  the  worst,  they 
meant  to  overthrow  the  government,  they  also  meant  to  inherit 
the  assets  themselves,  no  doubt. 

This  scheme  could  hardly  have  succeeded.  With  an  army 
of  Boers  at  their  gates  and  50,000  riotous  blacks  in  their  midst, 
the  odds  against  success  would  have  been  too  heavy  —  even  if 
the  whole  town  had  been  armed.  With  only  2,500  rifles  in 
the  place,  they  stood  really  no  chance. 

To  me,  the  military  problems  of  the  situation  are  of  more 
interest  than  the  political  ones,  because  by  disposition  I  have 
always  been  especially  fond  of  war.  No,  I  mean  fond  of  dis- 
cussing war;  and  fond  of  giving  military  advice.  If  I  had 
been  with  Jameson  the  morning  after  he  started,  I  should  have 
advised  him  to  turn  back.  That  was  Monday  ;  it  was  then  that 
he  received  his  first  warning  from  a  Boer  source  not  to  violate 
the  friendlv  soil  of  the  Transvaal.  It  showed  that  his  invasion 
was  known.  If  I  had  been  with  him  on  Tuesday  morning  and 
afternoon,  when  he  received  further  warnings,  I  should  have 
repeated  my  advice.  If  I  had  been  with  him  the  next  morn- 
ing--New  Year's — when  he  received  notice  that  "a  few 
hundred  "  Boers  were  waiting  for  him  a  few  miles  ahead,  I 
should  not  have  advised,  but  commanded  him  to  go  back. 
And  if  I  had  been  with  him  two  or  three  hours  later-  a  thing 
not  conceivable  to  me  —  I  should  have  retired  him  by  force; 
for  at  that  time  he  learned  that  the  few  hundred  had  now 
grown  to  800  ;  and  that  meant  that  the  growing  would  go  on 
growing. 


670 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


For,  by  authority  of  Mr.  Garrett,  one  knows  that  Jame- 
son's 600  were  only  530  at  most,  when  you  count  out  his  native 
drivers,  etc. ;  and  that  the  530  consisted  largely  of  "  green " 
youths,  "raw  young  fellows,"  not  trained  and  war-worn  Brit- 
ish soldiers ;  and  I  would  have  told  Jameson  that  those  lads 
would  not  be  able  to  shoot  effectively  from  horseback  in  the 
scamper  and  racket  of  battle,  and  that  there  would  not  be  any- 
thing for  them  to  shoot  at,  anyway,  but  rocks;  for  the  Boers 


i  jk 


BOERS   RECEIVING    ARMS   AND   EQUIPMENTS. 

would  be  behind  the  rocks,  not  out  in  the  open.  I  would  have 
told  him  that  300  Boer  sharpshooters  behind  rocks  would  be 
an  overmatch  for  his  500  raw  young  fellows  on  horseback. 

If  pluck  were  the  only  thing  essential  to  battle-winning,  the 
English  would  lose  no  battles.  But  discretion,  as  well  as  pluck, 
is  required  when  one  fights  Boers  and  Red  Indians.  In  South 
Africa  the  Briton  has  always  insisted  upon  standing  bravely 
up,  unsheltered,  before  the  hidden  Boer,  and  taking  the  results. 
Jameson's  men  would  follow  the  custom.     Jameson  would  not 


THE   BOERS  AND   THE  ENGLISH.  671 

have  listened  to  me — lie  would  have  been  intent  upon  repeat- 
ing history,  according  to  precedent.  Americans  are  not  ac- 
quainted with  the  British-Boer  war  of  1881 ;  but  its  history  is 
interesting,  and  could  have  been  instructive  to  Jameson  if  he 
had  been  receptive.  I  will  cull  some  details  of  it  from  trust- 
worthy sources  —  mainly  from  "  Russell's  Natal."  Mr.  Russell 
is  not  a  Boer,  but  a  Briton.  He  is  inspector  of  schools,  and  his 
history  is  a  text-book  whose  purpose  is  the  instruction  of  the 
Natal  English  youth. 

After  the  seizure  of  the  Transvaal  and  the  suppression  of 
the  Boer  government  by  England  in  1877,  the  Boers  fretted  for 
three  years,  and  made  several  appeals  to  England  for  a  restora- 
tion of  their  liberties,  but  without  result.  Then  they  gathered 
themselves  together  in  a  great  mass-meeting  at  Krugersdorp, 
talked  their  troubles  over,  and  resolved  to  fight  for  their  deliv- 
erance from  the  British  yoke.  (Krugersdorp  —  the  place  where 
the  Boers  interrupted  the  Jameson  raid.)  The  little  handful  of 
farmers  rose  against  the  strongest  empire  in  the  world.  They 
proclaimed  martial  law  and  the  re-establishment  of  their  Re- 
public. They  organized  their  forces  and  sent  them  forward  to 
intercept  the  British  battalions.  This,  although  Sir  Garnet 
AVolseley  had  but  lately  made  proclamation  that  "  so  long  as 
the  sun  shone  in  the  heavens,"'  the  Transvaal  would  be  and 
remain  English  territory.  And  also  in  spite  of  the  fact  that 
the  commander  of  the  91th  regiment  —  already  on  the  march 
to  suppress  this  rebellion  —  had  been  heard  to  say  that  "the 
Boers  would  turn  tail  at  the  first  beat  of  the  big  drum."* 

Four  days  after  the  flag-raising,  the  Boer  force  which  had 
been  sent  forward  to  forbid  the  invasion  of  the  English  troops 
met  them  at  Bronkhorst  Spruit  —  246  men  of  the  94th  regi- 
ment, in  command  of  a  colonel,  the  big  drum  beating,  the  band 

*"  South  Africa  As  It  Is,"  by  F.  Reginald  Statbam,  page  82.  London  :  T.  Fisher 
tin  win,  1897. 


<;7l>  following  the  equator. 

playing — and  the  first  battle  was  fought.  It  lasted  ten  min- 
utes.    Result  : 

British  loss,  more  than  ISO  officers  and  men,  out  of  the  2^6. 
Surrender  of  the  remnant. 

Boer  loss  —  if  any  —  not  stated. 

They  are  fine  marksmen,  the  Boers.  From  the  cradle  up, 
they  live  on  horseback  and  hunt  wild  animals  with  the  rifle. 
They  have  a  passion  for  liberty  and  the  Bible,  and  care  for 
nothing  else. 

"General  Sir  George  Colley.  Lieutenant-Governor  and 
Commander-in-Chief  in  Natal,  felt  it  his  duty  to  proceed  at 
once  to  the  relief  of  the  loyalists  and  soldiers  beleaguered  in 
the  different  towns  of  the  Transvaal."  He  moved  out  with 
1,000  men  and  some  artillery.  He  found  the  Boers  encamped 
in  a  strong  and  sheltered  position  on  high  ground  at  Laing's 
^Xek  —  every  Boer  behind  a  rock.  Early  in  the  morning  of 
the  28th  January,  1881,  he  moved  to  the  attack  ,k  with  the 
58th  regiment,  commanded  by  Colonel  Deane,  a  mounted 
squadron  of  TO  men,  the  60th  Rifles,  the  Naval  Brigade  with 
three  rocket  tubes,  and  the  Artillery  with  six  guns."  He 
shelled  the  Boers  for  twenty  minutes,  then  the  assault  was  de- 
livered, the  58th  marching  up  the  slope  in  solid  column.  The 
battle  was  soon  finished,  with  this  result,  according  to  Russell : 

British  loss  in  hilled  and  wounded,  li'i. 

Boer  loss.  "  trifling" 

Colonel  Deane  was  killed,  and  apparently  every  officer  above 
the  grade  of  lieutenant  was  killed  or  wounded,  for  the  58th 
retreated  to  its  camp  in  commando/ a  lu  utenant.  ("Africa  as 
It  Is.") 

That  ended  the  second  battle. 

On  the  7th  of  February  General  Colley  discovered  that  the 
Boers  were  flanking  his  position.  The  next  morning  he  left 
his  camp  at  Mount  Pleasant  and  marched  out  and  crossed  the 


PI  IK    BOERS    WIN. 


!>».-> 


Ingogo  river  with  i;T<»  men,  started  up  the  Ingogo  heights,  and 
there  fought  a  battle  which  lasted  from  noon  till  nightfall.  He 
then  retreated,  leaving  his  wounded  with  his  military  chap- 
lain, and  in  recrossing  the  now  swollen  river  lost  some  of  his 
men  by  drowning.  That  was  the  third  Boer  victory.  Result. 
according  to  Mr.  Russell  : 

British  loss  150  out  of  270  engaged. 

Boer  loss,  S  hilled,  9  wounded —  17. 

There  was  a  season  of  quiet,  now,  but  at  the  end  of  about 
three  weeks  Sir  George  Colley  conceived  the  idea  of  climbing, 
with  an  infantry  and  artillery  force,  the  steep  and  rugged 
mountain  of  Amajuba  in  the  night --a  bitter  hard  task,  but  he 
accomplished  it.  On  the  way  he  left  about  200  men  to  guard 
a  strategic  point,  and  took  about  400  up  the  mountain  with 
him.  When  the  sun  rose  in  the  morning,  there  was  an  un- 
pleasant surprise  for  the  Boers;  yonder  were  the  English 
troops  visible  on  top  of  the  mountain  two  or  three  miles  away, 
and  now  their  own  position  was  at  the  mercy  of  the  English 
artillery.  The  Boer  chief  resolved  to  retreat-  -  up  that  moun- 
tain.    He  asked  for  volunteers,  and  got  them. 

The  storming  party  crossed  the  swale  and  began  to  creep 
up  the  steeps,  "and  from  behind  rocks  and  bushes  they  shot  at 
the  soldiers  on  the  sky-line  as  if  they  were  stalking  deer,"  says 
Mr.  Russell.  There  was  "continuous  musketry  fire,  steady 
and  fatal  on  the  one  side,  wild  and  ineffectual  on  the  other." 
The  Boers  reached  the  top,  and  began  to  put  in  their  ruinous 
work.  Presently  the  British  "  broke  and  fled  for  their  lives 
down  the  rugged  steep."  The  Boers  had  won  the  battle. 
Result  in  killed  and  wounded,  including  among  the  killed  the 
British  General : 

British  loss,  %26,  out  of  4-00  engaged. 

Boer  loss,  1  killed,  5  wounded. 

43 


674  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

That  ended  the  war.  England  listened  to  reason,  and 
recognized  the  Boer  Republic  —  ;i  government  which  has 
never  been  in  any  really  awful  danger  since,  until  Jameson 
started  after  it  with  his  500  "raw  young  fellows."  To  reca- 
pitulate : 

The  Boer  farmers  and  British  soldiers  fought  J  battles,  and 
the  Boers  won  them  all.     Result  of  the  -1,  in  killed  and  wounded  : 

British  loss,  700  men. 

Boer  loss,  so  far  as  known,  23  men. 

It  is  interesting,  now,  to  note  how  loyally  Jameson  and  his 
several  trained  British  military  officers  tried  to  make  their  bat- 
tles conform  to  precedent.  Mr.  Garrett's  account  of  the  Raid 
is  much  the  best  one  I  have  met  with,  and  my  impressions  of 
the  Raid  are  drawn  from  that. 

When  Jameson  learned  that  near  Krugersdorp  he  would 
find  800  Boers  waiting  to  dispute  his  passage,  he  was  not  in  the 
least  disturbed.  lie  was  feeling  as  he  had  felt  two  or  three 
days  before,  when  he  had  opened  his  campaign  with  a  historic 
remark  to  the  same  purport  as  the  one  with  which  the  com- 
mander of  the  94th  had  opened  the  Boer-British  war  of  fourteen 
years  before.  That  Commander's  remark  was,  that  the  Boers 
"  would  turn  tail  at  the  first  beat  of  the  big  drum."  Jameson's 
was,  that  with  his  "raw  young  fellows"  he  could  kick  the 
(persons)  of  the  Boers  "all  round  the  Transvaal."  He  was 
keeping  close  to  historic  precedent. 

Jameson  arrived  in  the  presence  of  the  Boers.  They - 
according  to  precedent --were  not  visible.  It  was  a  country 
of  ridges,  depressions,  rocks,  ditches,  moraines  of  mining-tail- 
ings—  not  even  as  favorable  for  cavalrv  work  as  Laing's  Nek 
had  been  in  the  former  disastrous  days.  Jameson  shot  at  the 
ridges  and  rocks  with  his  artillery,  just  as  General  Colley  had 
done  at  the  Nek  ;  and  did  them  no  damage  and  persuaded  no 
Boer  to  show   himself.      Then  about  a   hundred  of   his  men 


omE  or  the  Qoe.o.%  — — 

who  scou&ht  CR  Jame.sjn 
. —  To  Pretoria. 


J 


AFTKR   THE    FIGIITTXO. 


JAMESON'S  GRIT.  077 

formed  up  to  charge  the  ridge  —  according  to  the  58th's  pre- 
cedent at  the  Nek  ;  but  as  they  dashed  forward  they  opened 
out  in  a  long  line,  which  was  a  considerable  improvement  on 
the  5 8th's  tactics ;  when  they  had  gotten  to  within  200  yards 
of  the  ridge  the  concealed  Boers  opened  out  on  them  and 
emptied  20  saddles.  The  unwounded  dismounted  and  tired  at 
the  rocks  over  the  hacks  of  their  horses;  but  the  return-tire 
was  too  hot,  and  they  mounted  again,  "  and  galloped  back  or 
crawled  away  into  a  clump  of  reeds  for  cover,  where  they  were 
shortly  afterward  taken  prisoners  as  they  lay  among  the  reeds. 
Some  thirty  prisoners  were  so  taken,  and  during  the  night 
which  followed  the  Boers  carried  away  another  thirty 
killed  and  wounded — the  wounded  to  Ivrugersdorp  hospital." 
Sixty  per  cent,  of  the  assaulted  force  disposed  of  —  according 
to  Mr.  Garrett's  estimate. 

It  was  according  to  Amajuba  precedent,  where  the  British 
loss  was  226  out  of  about  400  engaged. 

Also,  in  Jameson's  camp,  that  night,  "there  lay  about  30 
wounded  or  otherwise  disabled  "  men.  Also  during  the  night 
••some  30  or  40  young  fellows  got  separated  from  the  com- 
mand and  straggled  through  into  Johannesburg.'1  Altogether 
a  possible  150  men  gone,  out  of  his  530.  His  lads  had  fought 
valorously,  but  had  not  been  able  to  get  near  enough  to  a  Boer 
to  kick  him  around  the  Transvaal. 

At  dawn  the  next  morning  the  column  of  something  short 
of  400  whites  resumed  its  march.  Jameson's  grit  wras  stub- 
bornly good  ;  indeed,  it  was  always  that.  He  still  had  hopes. 
There   was   a   long   and   tedious   zigzagging    march   through 

O  O        DO        o  O 

broken  ground,  with  constant  harassment  from  the  Boers; 
and  at  last  the  column  "  walked  into  a  sort  of  trap,"  and  the 
Boers  "closed  in  upon  it."  "Men  and  horses  dropped  on  all 
sides.  In  the  column  the  feeling  grew  that  unless  it  could 
burst  through  the  Boer  lines  at  this  point  it  was  done  for. 


678 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


The  Maxims  were  fired  until  they  grew  too  hot,  and,  water 
failing  for  the  cool  jacket,  five  of  them  jammed  and  went  out 
of  action.  The  7-pounder  was  fired  until  only  half  an  hour's 
ammunition  was  left  to  lire  with.  One  last  rush  was  made, 
and  failed,  and  then  the  Staats  Artillery  came  up  on  the  left 
Hank,  and  the  game  was  up." 

Jameson  hoisted  a  white  flag  and  surrendered. 

There  is  a  story,  which  may  not  be  true,  about  an  ignorant 
Boer  farmer  there  who  thought  that  this  white  flag  was  the 
national  flag  of  England.  lie  had  been  at  Bronkhorst,  and 
Laing's  Nek,  and  Ingogo  and  Amajuba,  and  supposed  that  the 
English  did  not  run  up  their  flag  excepting  at  the  end  of  a  light. 


PRISONERS   AT    ROLL   CALL. 

The  following  is  fas  T  understand  it")  Mr.  Garrett's  estimate 
of  Jameson's  total  loss  in  killed  and  wounded  for  the  two  days  : 

"When  they  gave  in  they  were  minus  some  20  per  cent,  of 
combatants.  There  were  76  casualties.  There  were  30  men 
hurt  or  sick  in  the  wagons.  There  were  27  killed  on  the  spot 
or  mortally  wounded." 


A   GOOD   AUTHORITY.  679 

Total,  13o,  (jut  of  the  original  530.  It  is  just  25  per  cent.* 
This  is  a  large  improvement  upon  the  precedents  established  at 
Bronkhorst,  Laing's  Xek,  [ngogp,  and  Amajuba,  and  seems  to 
indicate  that  Boer  marksmanship  is  not  so  good  now  as  it  was 
in  those  days.  But  there  is  one  detail  in  which  the  Raid- 
episode  exactly  repeats  history.  By  surrender  at  Bronkhorst, 
the  whole  British  force  disappeared  from  the  theater  of  war; 
this  was  the  case  with  Jameson's  force. 

In  the  Boer  loss,  also,  historical  precedent  is  followed  with 
sufficient  fidelity.  In  the  4  battles  named  above,  tin.'  Boer 
loss,  so  far  as  known,  was  an  average  of  <*>  men  per  battle,  to 
the  British  average  loss  of  L75.  In  Jameson's  battles,  as  per 
Boer  official  report,  the  Boer  loss  in  killed  was  4.  Two  of 
these  were  killed  by  the  Boers  themselves,  by  accident,  the 
other  by  Jameson's  army-  one  of  them  intentionally,  the 
other  by  a  pathetic  mischance.  "A  young  Boer  named  Jacobz 
was  moving  forward  to  give  a  drink  to  one  of  the  wounded 
troopers  (Jameson's)  after  the  first  charge,  when  another 
wounded  man.  mistaking  his  intention,  shot  him."  There 
were  three  or  four  wounded  Boers  in  the  Krugersdorp  hospital, 
and  apparently  no  others  have  been  reported.  Mr.  Garrett, 
'•on  a  balance  of  probabilities,  fully  accepts  the  official  version, 
and  thanks  Heaven  the  killed  was  not  larger." 

Asa  military  man.  1  wish  to  point  out  what  seems  to  me 
to  lie  military  errors  in  the  conduct  of  the  campaign  which  we 
have  just  been  considering.  I  have  seen  active  service  in  the 
field,  and  it  was  in  the  actualities  of  war  that  I  acquired  my 
training  and  my  right  to  speak.  I  served  two  weeks  in  the 
beginning  of   our  Civil   War,  and    during  all  that  time  com- 

*  However.  I  judge  that  the  total  was  really  150:  for  the  uuinber  of  wounded 
carried  to  Krugersdorp  hospital  was  5:?  ;  not  30,  as  Mr.  Garrett  reports  it.  The  lady 
whose  guest  I  was  in  Krugerdorp  gave  me  the  figures.  She  was  head  nurse  from  the 
beginning  of  hostilities  (Jan.  1)  until  the  professional  nurses  arrived,  Jan.  8th.  Of 
the  53,  ••  Three  or  four  were  Boers  "  ;  I  quote  her  words. 


680  FOLLOWING   THE    EQUATOR. 

mantled  a  battery  of  infantry  composed  of  twelve  men. 
General  Grant  knew  the  history  of  my  campaign,  for  I  told  it 
him.  I  also  told  him  the  principle  upon  which  I  had  con- 
ducted it;  which  was,  to  tire  the  enemy.  I  tired  out  and  dis- 
qualified many  battalions,  yet  never  had  a  casualty  myself  nor 
lost  a  man.  General  Grant  was  not  given  to  paying  compli- 
ments, yet  he  said  frankly  that  if  I  had  conducted  the  whole 
war  much  bloodshed  would  have  been  spared,  and  that  what 
the  army  might  have  lost  through  the  inspiriting  results  of 
collision  in  the  field  would  have  been  amply  made  up  by  the 
liberalizing  influences  of  travel.  Further  endorsement  does 
not  seem  to  me  to  be  necessary. 

Let  us  now  examine  history,  and  see  what  it  teaches.  In 
the  4  battles  fought  in  1881  and  the  two  fought  by  Jameson, 
the  British  loss  in  killed,  wounded,  and  prisoners,  was  substan- 
tially 1,-300  men ;  the  Boer  loss,  as  far  as  is  ascertainable,  was 
about  30  men.  These  figures  show  that  there  was  a  defect 
some  where.  It  was  not  in  the  absence  of  courage.  I  think  it 
lay  in  the  absence  of  discretion.  The  Briton  should  have  done 
one  thing  or  the  other :  discarded  British  methods  and  fought 
the  Boer  with  Boer  methods,  or  augmented  his  own  force  until 
—  using  British  methods — it  should  be  large  enough  to  equal- 
ize results  with  the  Boer. 

To  retain  the  British  method  requires  certain  things,  deter- 
minable by  arithmetic.  If,  for  argument's  sake,  we  allow  that 
the  aggregate  of  1,716  British  soldiers  engaged  in  the  4  early 
battles  was  opposed  by  the  same  aggregate  of  Boers,  we  have 
this  result:  the  British  loss  of  700  and  the  Boer  loss  of  23 
argues  that  in  order  to  equalize  results  in  future  battles  you 
must  make  the  British  force  thirty  times  as  strong  as  the  Boer 
force.  Mr.  Garrett  shows  that  the  Boer  force  immediately  op- 
posed to  Jameson  was  2,000,  and  that  there  were  6,000  more 
on  hand  by  the  evening  of  the  second  day.     Arithmetic  shows 


TIRING   THE   EXEMY. 


THOSE   FUTILE   MAXIMS.  (JS3 

that  in  order  to  make  himself  the  equal  of  the  8,000  Boers, 
Jameson  should  have  had  240,000  men,  whereas  lie  merely  had 
530  boys.  From  a  military  point  of  view,  backed  by  the  facts 
of  history,  I  conceive  that  Jameson's  military  judgment  was  at 
fault. 

Another  thing1.  .Jameson  was  encumbered  by  artillery, 
ammunition,  and  rifles.  The  facts  of  the  battle  show  that  lie 
should  have  had  none  of  those  things  along.  They  were  heavy, 
they  were  in  his  way,  they  impeded  his  march.  There  was 
nothing  to  shoot  at  but  rocks  —  he  knew  quite  well  that  there 
would  be  nothing  to  shoot  at  but  rocks  -and  he  knew  that 
artillery  and  rifles  have  no  effect  upon  rocks.  lie  was  badly 
overloaded  with  nnessentials.  lie  had  8  Maxims — a  Maxim 
is  a  kind  of  Gatling,  I  believe,  and  shoots  about  500  bullets 
per  minute ;  he  had  one  Impounder  cannon  and  two  7-pound- 
ers ;  also,  145,000  rounds  of  ammunition.  He  worked  the 
.Maxims  so  hard  upon  the  rocks  that  five  of  them  became  dis- 
abled--five  of  the  Maxims.. not  the  rocks,  it  is  believed  that 
upwards  of  100,000  rounds  of  ammunition  of  the  various  kinds 
were  tired  during  the  '2\  hours  that  the  battles  lasted.  0n< 
urn  a  hilled.  lie  must  have  been  much  mutilated.  It  was  a 
pity  to  bring  those  futile  Maxims  along.  Jameson  should  have 
furnished  himself  with  a  battery  of  Pudd'nhead  Wilson  max- 
ims instead.  They  are  much  more  deadly  than  those  others, 
and  they  are  easily  carried,  because  they  have  no  weight. 

Mr.  Garrett  —  not  very  carefully  concealing  a  smile  —  ex- 
cuses the  presence  of  the  Maxims  by  saying  that  they  were  of 
very  substantial  use  because  their  sputtering  disordered  the 
aim  of  the  Boers,  and  in  that  way  saved  lives. 

Three  cannon,  eight  Maxims,  and  five  hundred  rifles  yielded 
a  result  which  emphasized  a  fact  which  had  already  been  estab- 
lished —  that  the  British  system  of  standing  out  in  the  open  to 
tight  Boers  who  are  behind    rocks  is  not  wise,  not   excusable 


684 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR 


and  ought  to  be  abandoned  for  something  more  efficacious. 
For  the  purpose  of  war  is  to  kill,  not  merely  to  waste  ammuni- 
tion. 


THE    DOCUMENT    IN  EVIDENCE. 


If  1  could  get  the  management  of  one  of  those  campaigns, 
I  would  know  what  to  do,  for  I  have  studied  the  Boer.  He 
values  the  Bible  above  every  other  thing.  The  most  delicious 
edible  in  South  Africa  is  "biltong."  You  will  have  seen  it 
mentioned  in  Olive  Schreiner's  books.     It  is  what  our  plains- 


COLONEL   RHODES'   NOTE.  685 

men  call  "jerked  beef."     It  is  the  Boer's  main  standby.     He 
has  a  passion  for  it.  and  he  is  right. 

If  I  had  the  command  of  the  campaign  I  would  go  with 
rifles  only,  no  cumbersome  Maxims  and  cannon  to  spoil  good 
rocks  with.  I  would  move  surreptitiously  by  night  to  a  point 
about  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  the  Boer  camp,  and  there  I 
would  build  up  a  pyramid  of  biltong  and  Bibles  fifty  feet  high, 
and  then  conceal  my  men  all  about.  In  the  morning  the 
Boers  would  send  out  spies,  and  then  the  rest  would  come  with 
a  rush.  I  would  surround  them,  and  they  would  have  to  fight 
my  men  on  equal  terms,  in  the  open.  There  wouldn't  be  any 
Amajuba  results.* 


*  Just  as  I  am  finishing  this  book  an  unfortunate  dispute  has  sprung  up  betwet  o 
Dr.  Jameson  and  his  officers,  on  the  one  hand,  and  Colonel  Rhodes  on  the  other, 
concerning  the  wording  of  a  note  which  Colonel  Rhodes  sent  from  Johannesburg  by 
a  cyclist  to  Jameson  just  before  hostilities  began  on  the  memorable  New  Year's  Day. 
Some  of  the  fragments  of  this  note  were  found  on  i  he  battlefield  after  the  fight,  and 
these  have  been  pieced  together;  tbe  dispute  is  as  to  what  words  the  lacking  frag- 
ments contained.  Jameson  says  the  note  promised  him  a  reinforcement  of  300  meu 
from  Johannesburg.  Colonel  Rhodes  denies  this,  and  says  he  merely  promised  to 
send  out  "some  "men  "to  meet  you." 

It  seems  a  pity  that  these  friends  should  fall  out  over  so  little  a  thing.  If  the 
300  had  been  sent,  what  good  would  it  have  dime?  In  21  hours  of  industrious  fight- 
ing, Jameson's  530  men,  with  8  Maxim-. '■',  cannon,  and  145.000  rounds  of  ammunition, 
killed  an  aggregate  of  1  Boer.  These  statistics  show  that  a  reinforcement  of  300 
Johannesburgers,  armed  merely  with  muskets,  would  have  killed,  at  tbe  outside. 
only  a  little  over  a  half  of  another  Boer.  This  would  not  have  saved  the  day.  It 
would  not  even  have  seriously  affected  the  general  result.  The  figures  show  clearly, 
and  with  mathematical  violence,  thai  tin-  only  way  to  save  Jameson,  or  even  give 
him  a  fair  and  equal  chance  with  the  enemy,  was  for  Johannesburg  to  send  him  "240 
Maxims.  90  canuon,  GOO  carloads  of  ammunition,  and  "240.000  men.  Johannesburg 
was  not  in  a  position  to  do  this.  Johannesburg  has  been  called  very  hard  names  for 
not  reinforcing  Jameson.  But  in  every  instance  this  has  been  done  by  two  classes  of 
persons — people  who  do  not  read  history,  and  people,  like  Jameson,  who  do  nol 
understand  what  it  means,  after  they  have  read  it. 


CHAPTER   LXVIII. 

None  of  us  can  have  as  many  virtues  as  the  fountain-pen,  or  half  its  cussedness  , 
but  we  can  try. — Pudd'uhead   WUson's  New  Calendar. 

THE  Duke  of  Fife  has  borne  testimony  that  Mr.  Rhodes 
deceived  him.  That  is  also  what  Mr.  Rhodes  did  with 
the  Reformers  He  got  them  into  trouble,  and  then 
stayed  out  himself.  A  judicious  man.  He  has  always  been 
that.  As  to  this  there  was  a  moment  of  doubt,  once.  It  was 
when  he  was  out  on  his  last  pirating  expedition  in  the  Mata- 
l>ele  country.  The  cable  shouted  out  that  he  had  gone  un- 
armed, to  visit  a  party  of  hostile  chiefs.  It  was  true,  too;  and 
this  dare-devil  thing"  came  near  fetching-  another  indiscretion 
out  of  the  poet  laureate.  It  would  have  been  too  bad,  for  when 
the  facts  were  all  in,  it  turned  out  that  there  was  a  lady  along, 
too,  and  she  also  was  unarmed. 

In  the  opinion  of  many  people  Mr.  Rhodes  is  South  Africa; 
others  think  he  is  only  a  large  part  of  it.  These  latter  consider 
that  South  Africa  consists  of  Table  Mountain,  the  diamond 
mines,  the  Johannesburg  gold  fields,  and  Cecil  Rhodes.  The 
gold  fields  are  wonderful  in  every  way.  In  seven  or  eight 
years  they  built  up.  in  a  desert,  a  city  of  a  hundred  thousand 
inhabitants,  counting  white  and  black  together ;  and  not  the 
ordinary  mining  city  of  wooden  shanties,  but  a  city  made  out 
of  lasting  material.  Nowhere  in  the  world  is  there  such  a  con- 
centration of  rich  mines  as  at  Johannesburg.  Mr.  Bonamici, 
my  manager  there,  gave  me  a  small  gold  brick  with  some  sta- 
tistics engraved  upon  it  which  record  the  output  of  gold  from 

the  early  days  to  July,  189."),  and  exhibit  the  strides  which  have 

( 686 ) 


THE   GOLD   FIELDS.  687 

been  made  in  the  development  of  the  industry;  in  1888  the 
out  put  was  §4-,lt;2. -i-tn;  the  output  of  the  next  live  and  a  half 
years  was  (total)  $17,585,894 ;  for  the  single  year  ending  with 
dune.  1895,  it  was  $45,553,700. 

The  capital  which  has  developed  the  mines  came  from  Eng- 
land, the  mining  engineers  from  America.  This  is  the  case 
with  the  diamond  mines  also.  South  Africa  seems  to  be  the 
heaven  of  the  American  scientific  mining  engineer.  He  gets 
tin1  choicest  places,  and  keeps  them.  I  lis  salary  is  not  based 
upon  what  he  would  net  in  America,  hut  apparently  upon  what 
a  whole  family  of  him  would  get  there. 

The  successful  mines  pay  great  dividends,  yet  the  rock  is 
not  rich,  from  a  Californian  point  of  view.  Rock  which  yields 
ten  or  twelve  dollars  a  ton  is  considered  plenty  rich  enough. 
It  is  troubled  with  base  metals  to  such  a  degree  that  twenty 
years  ago  it  would  have  been  only  about  half  as  valuable  as 
it  is  now;  for  at  that  time  there  was  no  paying  wav  of  getting 
anything  out  of  such  rock  but  the  coarser-grained  "free"gold; 
but  the  new  cyanide  process  has  changed  all  that,  and  the  gold 
fields  of  the  world  now  deliver  up  fifty  million  dollars'  worth 
of  gold  per  year  which  would  have  gone  into  the  tailing-pile 
under  the  former  conditions. 

The  cyanide  process  was  new  to  me,  and  full  of  interest; 
and  among  the  costly  and  elaborate  mining  machinery  there 
were  fine  things  which  were  new  to  me.  but  I  was  already  fa- 
miliar with  the  rest  of  the  details  of  the  gold-mining  industry. 
I  had  been  a  gold  miner  myself,  in  my  day,  and  knew  substan- 
tially everything  that  those  people  knew  about  it,  except  how 
to  make  money  at  it.  Hut  I  learned  a  good  deal  about  the 
Boers  there,  and  that  was  a  fresh  subject.  What  I  heard  there 
was  afterwards  repeated  to  me  in  other  parts  of  South  Africa. 
Summed  up  —  according  to  the  information  thus  gained  —  this 
is  the  Boer: 


688  FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 

He  is  deeply  religious,  profoundly  ignorant,  dull,  obstinate, 
bigoted,  uncleanly  in  his  habits,  hospitable,  honest  in  his  deal- 
ings with  the  whites,  a  hard  master  to  his  black  servant,  lazy, 
a  good  shot,  good  horseman,  addicted  to  the  chase,  a  lover  of 
political  independence,  a  good  husband  and  father,  not  fond  of 
herding  together  in  towns,  but  liking  the  seclusion  and  remote- 
ness and  solitude  and  empty  vastness  and  silence  of  the  veldt ; 
a  man  of  a  mighty  appetite,  and  not  delicate  about  what  he 
appeases  it  with  —  well-satisfied  with  pork  and  Indian  corn 
and  biltong,  requiring  only  that  the  quantity  shall  not  be 
stinted  ;  willing  to  ride  a  long  journey  to  take  a  hand  in  a 
rude  all-night  dance  interspersed  with  vigorous  feeding  and 
boisterous  jollity,  but  ready  to  ride  twice  as  far  for  a  prayer- 
meeting;  proud  of  his  Dutch  and  Huguenot  origin  and  its 
religious  and  military  history  ;  proud  of  his  race's  achieve- 
ments in  South  Africa,  its  bold  plunges  into  hostile  and  un- 
charted deserts  in  search  of  free  solitudes  un vexed  by  the 
pestering  and  detested  English,  also  its  victories  over  the 
natives  and  the  British  ;  proudest  of  all.  of  the  direct  and  effu- 
sive personal  interest  which  the  Deity  has  always  taken  in  its 
affairs.  He  cannot  read,  he  cannot  write ;  he  has  one  or  two 
newspapers,  but  he  is,  apparently,  not  aware  of  it ;  until  lat- 
terly he  had  no  schools,  and  taught  his  children  nothing;  news 
is  a  term  which  has  no  meaning  to  him,  and  the  thing  itself  he 
cares  nothing  about.  He  hates  to  be  taxed  and  resents  it. 
He  has  stood  stock  still  in  South  Africa  for  two  centuries  and 
a  half,  and  would  like  to  stand  still  till  the  end  of  time,  for  he 
has  no  sympathy  with  Uitlander  notions  of  progress.  He  is 
hungry  to  be  rich,  for  he  is  human  ;  but  his  preference  has 
been  for  riches  in  cattle,  not  in  tine  clothes  and  fine  houses 
and  gold  and  diamonds.  The  gold  and  the  diamonds  have 
brought  the  godless  stranger  within  his  gates,  also  contamina- 


THE   FATE   OF   MR.  RHODES.  tiS'.t 

tion  and  broken  repose,  and  he  wishes  that  they  had  never 
been  discovered. 

I  think  that  the  bulk  of  those  details  can  be  found  in 
Olive  Schreiner's  books,  and  she  would  not  be  accused  of 
sketching  the  Boers  portrait  with  an  unfair  hand. 

Now  what  would  you  expect  from  that  unpromising  mate- 
rial \  What  ought  you  to  expect  from  it  \  Laws  inimical  to 
religious  liberty  \  Yes.  Laws  denying  representation  and 
suffrage  to  the  intruder  I  Yes.  Laws  unfriendly  to  educa- 
tional institutions  \  Yes.  Laws  obstructive  of  gold  production  I 
Yes.  Discouragement  of  railway  expansion?  Yes.  Laws 
heavily  taxing  the  intruder  and  overlooking  the  Boer?     Yes. 

The   Uitlander   seems   to    have   expected   something  very 

different  from  all  that.     I  do  not  know  whv.     Nothing  differ- 

ent    from    it    was  rationally  to  be  expected.     A  round  man 

cannot  be  expected  to  fit  a  square  hole  right  away.     He  must 

have  time  to  modify  his  shape.     The  modification  had  begun 

in  a  detail   or  two,  before  the  Raid,  and  was   making  some 

progress.     It    has   made   further    progress  since.     There   are 

wise  men  in  the  Boer  government,  and  that  accounts  for  the 

modification  ;  the  modification  of  the  Boer  mass  has  probably 

not  begun  vet.     If  the  heads  of  the  Boer  government  had  not 

been    wise  men  they  would  have  hanged  Jameson,  and  thus 

turned  a  very  commonplace  pirate  into  a  holy  martyr.     But 

even  their   wisdom  has   its   limits,   and  they  will  hang  Mr. 

Rhodes  if  they  ever  catch    him.     That   will  round   him  and 

complete  him  and  make  him  a  saint.     He  has  already  been 

called  by  all  other  titles  that  symbolize  human  grandeur,  and 

he  ought  to  rise  to  this  one,  the  grandest  of  all.     It  will  be  a 

dizzy  jump  from  where  he  is  now,  but  that  is  nothing,  it  will 

land  him  in  good  company  and  be  a  pleasant  change  for  him. 

Some  of  the  things  demanded   by  the   Johannesburgers' 
44 


GOO  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

Manifesto  have  been  conceded  since  the  days  of  the  Raid,  and 
the  others  will  follow  in  time,  no  doubt,  It  was  most  fortunate 
for  the  miners  of  Johannesburg  that  the  taxes  which  distressed 
them  so  much  were  levied  by  the  Boer  government,  instead  of 
by  their  friend  Rhodes  and  his  Chartered  Company  of  high- 
waymen, for  these  latter  take  half  of  whatever  their  mining- 
victims  find,  they  do  not  stop  at  a  mere  percentage.  If  the 
Johannesburg  miners  were  under  their  jurisdiction  they  would 
be  in  the  poorhouse  in  twelve  months. 

I  have  been  under  the  impression  all  along  that  I  had  an 
unpleasant  paragraph  about  the  Boers  somewhere  in  my  note- 
book, and  also  a  pleasant  one.  I  have  found  them  now.  The 
unpleasant  one  is  dated  at  an  interior  village,  and  says : 

"  Mr.  Z.  called.  He  is  an  English  Afrikander  ;  is  an  old  resident,  and  has 
a  Boer  wife.  He  speaks  the  language,  and  his  professional  business  is  with 
the  Boers  exclusively.  He  told  me  that  the  ancient  Boer  families  in  the  great 
region  of  which  this  village  is  the  commercial  center  are  falling  victims  to 
their  inherited  indolence  and  dullness  in  the  materialistic  latter-day  race  and 
struggle,  and  are  dropping  one  by  one  into  the  grip  of  the  usurer  —  getting 
hopelessly  in  debt  —  and  are  losing  their  high  place  and  retiring  to  second  and 
lower.  The  Boer's  farm  does  not  go  to  another  Boer  when  he  loses  it,  but  to 
a  foreigner.  Some  have  fallen  so  low  that  they  sell  their  daughters  to  the 
blacks." 

Under  date  of  another  South  African  town  I  find  the  note 

which  is  creditable  to  the  Boers  : 

"  Dr.  X.  told  me  that  in  the  Kafir  war  1,500  Kafirs  took  refuge  in  a  great 
cave  in  the  mountains  about  90  miles  north  of  Johannesburg,  and  the  Boers 
blocked  up  the  entrance  and  smoked  them  to  death.  Dr.  X.  has  been  in  there 
and  seen  the  great  array  of  bleached  skeletons  —  one  a  woman  with  the  skele- 
ton of  a  child  hugged  to  her  breast." 

The  great  bulk  of  the  savages  must  go.  The  white  man 
wants  their  lands,  and  all  must  go  excepting  such  percentage 
of  them  as  he  will  need  to  do  his  work  for  him  upon  terms  to 
be  determined  by  himself.  Since  history  has  removed  the 
element  of  guesswork  from  this  matter  and  made  it  certainty, 
the  humanest  way  of  diminishing  the  black  population  should 
be  adopted,  not  the  old  cruel  ways  of  the  past,     Mr.  Rhodes 


RHODESIA.  691 

and  his  gang  have  been  following  the  old  ways.  They  are 
chartered  to  rob  and  slay,  and  they  lawfully  do  it,  but  not  in  a 
compassionate  and  Christian  spirit.  They  rob  the  Mashonas 
and  the  Matabeles  of  a  portion  of  their  territories  in  the 
hallowed  old  style  of  "purchase"  for  a  song,  and  then  they 
force  a  quarrel  and  take  the  rest  by  the  strong  hand.  They 
rob  the  natives  of  their  cattle  under  the  pretext  that  all  the 
cattle  in  the  country  belonged  to  the  king  whom  they  have 
tricked  and  assassinated.  They  issue  "regulations*'  requiring 
the  incensed  and  harassed  natives  to  work  for  the  white  set- 
tlers, and  neglect  their  own  affairs  to  do  it.  This  is  slavery, 
and  is  several  times  worse  than  was  the  American  slavery 
which  used  to  pain  England  so  much  ;  for  when  this  Rhodesian 
slave  is  sick,  superannuated,  or  otherwise  disabled,  he  must 
support  himself  or  starve  —  his  master  is  under  no  obligation 
to  support  him. 

The  reduction  of  the  population  by  Rhodesian  methods  to 
the  desired  limit  is  a  return  to  the  old-time  slow-misery  and 
linfi-erino'-death  svstem  of  a  discredited  time  and  a  crude  "civ- 
ilization.''  We  humanely  reduce  an  overplus  of  dogs  by  swift 
chloroform;  the  Boer  humanely  reduced  an  overplus  of  blacks 
by  swift  suffocation;  the  nameless  but  right-hearted  Australian 
pioneer  humanely  reduced  his  overplus  of  aboriginal  neighbors 
by  a  sweetened  swift  death  concealed  in  a  poisoned  pudding. 
All  these  are  admirable,  and  worthy  of  praise;  you  and  I 
would  rather  suffer  either  of  these  deaths  thirty  times  over  in 
thirty  successive  days  than  linger  out  one  of  the  Rhodesian 
twentv-vear  deaths,  with  its  daily  burden  of  insult,  humilia- 
tion,  and  forced  labor  for  a  man  whose  entire  race  the  victim 
hates.  Rhodesia  is  a  happy  name  for  that  land  of  piracy  and 
pillage,  and  puts  the  right  stain  upon  it. 

Several  long  journeys  gave  us  experience  of  the  Cape 
Colony  railways:  easy-riding,  line  cars;  all  the  conveniences ; 


692  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

thorough  cleanliness;  comfortable  beds  furnished  for  the  night 
trains.  It  was  in  the  first  days  of  June,  and  winter ;  the  day- 
time was  pleasant,  the  nighttime  nice  and  cold.  Spinning 
along  all  day  in  the  cars  it  was  ecstasy  to  breathe  the  bracing- 
air  and  o-aze  out  over  the  vast  brown  solitudes  of  the  velvet 
plains,  soft  and  lovely  near  by,  still  softer  and  lovelier  further 
away,  softest  and  loveliest  of  all  in  the  remote  distances, 
where  dim  island-hills  seemed  afloat,  as  in  a  sea  —  a  sea  made 
of  dream-stuff  and  flushed  with  colors  faint  and  rich  ;  and 
dear  me,  the  depth  of  the  sky,  and  the  beauty  of  the  strange 
new  cloud-forms,  and  the  glory  of  the  sunshine,  the  lavishness, 
the  wastefulness  of  it!  The  vigor  and  freshness  and  inspira- 
tion of  the  air  and  the  sun-- well,  it  was  all  just  as  Olive 
Schreiner  had  made  it  in  her  books. 

To  me  the  veldt,  in  its  sober  winter  garb,  was  surpassingly 
beautiful.  There  were  unlevel  stretches  where  it  was  rolling 
and  swelling,  and  rising  and  subsiding,  and  sweeping  superbly 
on  and  on,  and  still  on  and  on  like  an  ocean,  toward  the  far- 
away horizon,  its  pale  brown  deepening  by  delicately  gradu- 
ated shades  to  rich  orange,  and  finally  to  purple  and  crimson 
where  it  washed  against  the  wooded  hills  and  naked  red  crags 
at  the  base  of  the  sky. 

Everywhere,  from  Cape  Town  to  Kimberley,  and  from 
Kimberley  to  Port  Elizabeth  and  East  London,  the  towns  were 
well  populated  with  tamed  blacks;  tamed  and  ( 'hristianized  too, 
I  suppose,  for  they  wore  the  dowdy  clothes  of  our  Christian 
civilization.  But  for  that,  many  of  them  would  have  been  re- 
markably handsome.  These  fiendish  clothes,  together  with 
the  proper  lounging  gait,  good-natured  face,  happy  air,  and 
easy  laugh,  made  them  precise  counterparts  of  our  American 
blacks;  often  where  all  the  other  aspects  were  strikingly  and 
harmoniously  and  thrillingly  African,  a  flock  of  these  natives 
would  intrude,  looking  wholly  out  of  place,  and  spoil  it  all, 


A.MONG   OLD   FRIENDS. 


693 


making  the  thing  a  grating  discord,  half  African  and    half 

American. 

One  Sunday  in  King  William's  Town  a  score  of  colored 
women  came  mincing  across  the  great  barren  square  dressed 
-oh,  in  the  last  perfection  of  fashion,  and  newness,  and  ex- 
pensiveness,  and  showy  mixture  of  unrelated  colors, —  all  just 
as  I  had  seen  it  so 
often  at  home;  and 
in  their  faces  and 
their  gait  was  that 
languishing,  aristo- 
cratic,  divine  delight 
in  their  finery  which 
was  so  familiar  to  me. 
and  had  always  been 
such  a  satisfaction  to 
my  eye  and  my  heart. 
1  seemed  among  old. 
old  friends :  friends 
of  fifty  years,  and  I 
stopped  and  cordially 
greeted  them.  They 
broke  into  a  good-fel- 
lowship laugh.  Hash- 
ing their  white  teeth 
u  ]  >  o  n  m  e.  a  n  d  all 
answered  at  once.  I 
did  not  understand  a  word  they  said.  I  was  astonished:  1 
was  not  dreaming  that  they  would  answer  in  anything 
but  American. 

The  voices,  too,  of  the  African  women,  were  familiar  to  me 
■ — sweet  and  musical,  just  like  those  of  the  slave  women  of  my 
early  days.     I  followed  a  couple  of  them  all  over  the  Orange 


OLD   ACQUAINTANCES. 


694 


FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 


Free  State  —  no,  over  its  capital  —  Bloemfontein,  to  hear  their 
liquid  voices  and  the  happy  ripple  of  their  laughter.  Their 
language  was  a  large  improvement  upon  American.  Also  upon 
the  Zulu.  It  had  no  Zulu  clicks  in  it ;  and  it  seemed  to  have 
no  angles  or  corners,  no  roughness,  no  vile  s's  or  other  hissing- 
sounds,  but  was  very,  very  mellow  and  rounded  and  flowing. 
In  moving  about  the  country  in  the  trains,  I  had  opportu- 
nity to  see  a  good  many  Boers  of  the  veldt.  One  day  at  a  village 
station  a  hundred  of  them  got  out  of  the  third-class  cars  to  feed. 

Their  clothes  were 
very  interesting.  For 
ugliness  of  shapes,  and 
for  miracles  of  ugly 
colors  inharmoniously 
associated,  they  were 
a  record. 

The  e  ff  e  c  t  was 
nearly  as  exciting 
and  interesting  as  that 
produced  by  the  bril- 
liant and  beautiful 
clothes  and  perfect 
taste  always  on  view 
at  the  Indian  railway 
stations.  One  man 
had  corduroy  trousers 
of  a   faded  chewing- 


And  they 
were   new  —  showing1 


gum  tint. 


HE    SAID    "NO"    RT'DELY. 


that  this  tint  did  not  come  by  calamity,  but  was  intentional; 
the  very  ugliest  color  I  have  ever  seen.  A  gaunt,  shacldy 
countrv  lout  six  feet  high,  in  battered  gray  slouched  hat  with 
wide  brim,  and  old  resin-colored  breeches,  had  on  a  hideous 


HE  FELT  STUFFY. 


T1IK    BOER'S   HOSPITALITY.  697 

brand-new  woolen  coat  which  was  imitation  tiger  skin 
wavy  broad  stripes  of  dazzling  yellow  and  deep  brown.  I 
thought  he  ought  to  be  hanged,  and  asked  the  station- 
master  if  it  could  be  arranged.  lie  said  no;  and  not  only 
that,  but  said  it  rudely;  said  it  with  a  quite  unnecessary 
show  of  feeling.  Then  he  muttered  something  about  my  being 
a  jackass,  and  walked  away  and  pointed  me  out  to  people,  and 
did  everything  he  could  to  turn  public  sentiment  against  me. 
It  is  what  one  gets  for  trying  to  do  good. 

In  the  train  that  day  a  passenger  told  me  some  more  about 
Boer  life  out  in  the  lonely  veldt.  lie  said  the  Boer  gets  up 
early  and  sets  his  "  niggers  "  at  their  tasks  ( pasturing  the  cattle, 
and  watching  them);  eats,  smokes,  drowses,  sleeps ;  toward 
evening  superintends  the  milking,  etc. ;  eats,  smokes,  drowses  ; 
goes  to  bed  at  early  candlelight  in  the  fragrant  clothes  he 
(and  she)  have  worn  all  day  and  every  week-day  for  years.  I 
remember  that  last  detail,  in  Olive  Schreiner's  "  Story  of  an 
African  Farm."  And  the  passenger  told  me  that  the  Boers 
were  justly  noted  for  their  hospitality.  He  told  me  a  story 
about  it.  He  said  that  his  grace  the  Bishop  of  a  certain  See 
was  once  making  a  business-progress  through  the  tavernless 
veldt,  and  one  night  he  stopped  with  a  Boer;  after  supper  was 
shown  to  bed  ;  he  undressed,  weary  and  worn  out,  and  was 
soon  sound  asleep ;  in  the  night  he  woke  up  feeling  crowded 
and  suffocated,  and  found  the  old  Boer  and  his  fat  wife  in  bed 
with  him,  one  on  each  side,  with  all  their  clothes  on,  and  snor- 
ing. He  had  to  stay  there  and  stand  it  —  awake  and  suffering 
—  until  toward  dawn,  when  sleep  again  fell  upon  him  for  an 
hour.  Then  he  woke  again.  The  Boer  was  gone,  but  the  wife 
was  still  at  his  side. 

Those  Reformers  detested  that  Boer  prison  ;  they  were  not 
used  to  cramped  quarters  and  tedious  hours,  and  weary  idle- 
ness, and  early  to   bed,  and  limited  movement,  and  arbitrary 


698  FOLLOWING   THE  EQUATOR. 

and  irritating  rules,  and  the  absence  of  the  luxuries  which 
wealth  comforts  the  day  and  the  night  with.  The  confine- 
ment told  upon  their  bodies  and  their  spirits ;  still,  they  were 
superior  men,  and  they  made  the  best  that  was  to  be  made 
of  the  circumstances.  Their  wives  smuggled  delicacies  to  them, 
which  helped  to  smooth  the  way  down  for  the  prison  fare. 

In  the  train  Mr.  B.  told  me  that  the  Boer  jail-guards 
treated  the  black  prisoners  —  even  political  ones  —  mercilessly. 
An  African  chief  and  his  following  had  been  kept  there  nine 
months  without  trial,  and  during  all  that  time  they  had  been 
without  shelter  from  rain  and  sun.  He  said  that  one  day  the 
guards  put  a  big  black  in  the  stocks  for  dashing  his  soup  on 
the  ground  ;  they  stretched  his  legs  painfully  wide  apart,  and 
set  him  with  his  back  down  hill ;  lie  could  not  endure  it,  and 
put  back  his  hands  upon  the  slope  for  a  support.  The  guard 
ordered  him  to  withdraw  the  support —  and  kicked  him  in  the 
back.  "  Then,'1  said  Mr.  B.,  "  the  powerful  black  wrenched 
the  stocks  asunder  and  went  for  the  guard  ;  a  Beform  prisoner 
pulled  him  off,  and  thrashed  the  guard  himself." 


CHAPTER   LXIX. 

The  very  ink  with  which  all  history  is  written  is  merely  fluid  prejudice. 

—  PadcV nhead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 
There  isn't  a  Parallel  of  Latitude  but  thinks  it  would  have  been  the  Equator  if 
it  had  had  its  rights.  — Pudd^nhead   Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

NEXT  to  Mr.  Rhodes,  to  me  the  most  interesting  convul- 
sion of  nature  in  South  Africa  was  the  diamond- 
crater.  The  Rand  gold  fields  are  a  stupendous 
marvel,  and  they  make  all  other  gold  fields  small,  but  I  was 
not  a  stranger  to  gold-mining;  the  veldt  was  a  noble  thing  to 
see,  but  it  was  only  another  and  lovelier  variety  of  our  Great 
Plains ;  the  natives  were  very  far  from  being  uninteresting, 
but  they  were  not  new  ;  and  as  for  the  towns,  I  could  find  my 
way  without  a  guide  through  the  most  of  them  because  I  had 
learned  the  streets,  under  other  names,  in  towns  just  like  them 
in  other  lands ;  but  the  diamond  mine  was  a  wholly  fresh 
thing,  a  splendid  and  absorbing  novelty.  Very  few  people  in 
the  world  have  seen  the  diamond  in  its  home.  It  has  but 
three  or  four  homes  in  the  world,  whereas  gold  has  a  million. 
It  is  worth  while  to  journey  around  the  globe  to  see  anything 
which  can  truthfully  be  called  a  novelty,  and  the  diamond 
mine  is  the  greatest  and  most  select  and  restricted  novelty 
which  the  globe  has  in  stock. 

The  Kimberley  diamond  deposits  were  discovered  about 
1869,  I  think.  When  everything  is  taken  into  consideration, 
the  wonder  is  that  they  were  not  discovered  five  thousand 
years  ago  and  made  familiar  to  the  African  world  for  the  rest 
of  time.  For  this  reason  the  first  diamonds  were  found  on  the 
surface  of  the  ground.     They  Avere  smooth  and  limpid,  and  in 

(699) 


700  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

the  sunlight  they  vomited  fire.  They  were  the  very  things 
which  an  African  savage  of  any  era  would  value  above  every 
other  thing  in  the  world  excepting  a  glass  bead.  For  two  or 
three  centuries  we  have  been  buying  his  lands,  his  cattle,  his 
neighbor,  and  any  other  thing  he  had  for  sale,  for  glass  beads : 
and  so  it  is  strange  that  he  was  indifferent  to  the  diamonds 
—  for  he  must  have  picked  them  up  many  and  many  a  time. 
It  would  not  occur  to  him  to  try  to  sell  them  to  whites,  of 
course,  since  the  whites  already  had  plenty  of  glass  beads,  and 
more  fashionably  shaped,  too,  than  these ;  but  one  would  think 
that  the  poorer  sort  of  black,  who  could  not  afford  real  glass, 
would  have  been  humbly  content  to  decorate  himself  with  the 
imitation,  and  that  presently  the  white  trader  would  notice  the 
things,  and  dimly  suspect,  and  cany  some  of  them  home,  and 
find  out  what  they  were,  and  at  once  empty  a  multitude  of 
fortune-hunters  into  Africa.  There  are  many  strange  thing's  in 
human  history;  one  of  the  strangest  is  that  the  sparkling  dia- 
monds laid  there  so  long  without  exciting  any  one's  interest. 

The  revelation  came  at  last  by  accident.  In  a  Boers  hut 
out  in  the  wide  solitude  of  the  plains,  a  traveling  stranger 
noticed  a  child  playing  with  a  bright  object,  and  was  told  it 
was  a  piece  of  glass  which  had  been  found  in  the  veldt.  The 
stranger  bought  it  for  a  trifle  and  carried  it  away  ;  and  being 
without  honor,  made  another  stranger  believe  it  was  a  diamond, 
and  so  got  $125  out  of  him  for  it,  and  was  as  pleased  with  him- 
self as  if  he  had  done  a  righteous  thing.  In  Paris  the  wronged 
stranger  sold  it  to  a  pawnshop  for  $10,000,  who  sold  it  to  a 
countess  for  $90,000,  who  sold  it  to  a  brewer  for  s800,000,  who 
traded  it  to  a  king  for  a  dukedom  and  a  pedigree,  and  the  king 
"  put  it  up  the  spout."  f     I  know  these  particulars  to  be  correct. 


THE   KIMBERLET    CRATER.  till 

The  news  flew  around,  and  the  South  African  diamond- 
boom  began.  The  original  traveler  —  the  dishonest  one  —  now 
remembered  that  he  had  once  seen  a  Boer  teamster  chocking 
his  wagon-wheel  on  a  steep  grade  witli  a  diamond  as  large  ;is 
a  football,  and  he  laid  aside  his  occupations  and  started  out  to 
hunt  for  it,  but  not  with  the  intention  of  cheating  anybody  out 
of  si 2'>  with  it,  for  he  had  reformed. 

We  now  come  to  matters  more  didactic.  Diamonds  arc 
not  imbedded  in  rock  ledges  fifty  miles  long,  like  the  Johannes- 
burg gold,  but  are  distributed  through  the  rubbish  of  a  lilled- 
up  well,  so  to  speak.  The  well  is  rich,  its  walls  are  sharply 
defined  ;  outside  of  the  walls  are  no  diamonds.  The  well  is  a 
crater,  and  a  large  one.  Before  it  had  been  meddled  with,  its 
surface  was  even  with  the  level  plain,  and  there  was  no  sign  to 
suggest  that  it  was  there.  The  pasturage  covering  the  surface 
of  the  Kimberley  crater  was  sufficient  for  the  support  of  a  cow. 
and  the  pasturage  underneath  was  sufficient  for  the  support  of 
a  kingdom ;    but  the  cow  did  not  know  it,  and  lost  her  chance. 

The  Kimberley  crater  is  roomy  enough  to  admit  the  Roman 
Coliseum  ;  the  bottom  of  the  crater  has  not  been  reached,  and 
no  one  can  tell  how  far  down  in  the  bowels  of  the  earth  it 
goes.  Originally,  it  was  a  perpendicular  hole  packed  solidly 
full  of  blue  rock  or  cement,  and  scattered  through  that  blue 
mass,  like  raisins  in  a  pudding,  were  the  diamonds.  As  deep 
down  in  the  earth  as  the  blue  stuff  extends,  so  deep  will  the 
diamonds  be  found. 

There  are  three  or  four  other  celebrated  craters  near  by 
a  circle  three  miles  in  diameter  would  enclose  them  all.  They 
are  owned  by  the  De  Beers  Company,  a  consolidation  of  dia- 
mond properties  arranged  by  Mr.  Rhodes  twelve  or  fourteen 
years  ago.  The  De  Beers  owns  other  craters;  they  are  under 
the  grass,  but  the  De  Beers  knows  where  they  are,  and  will 
open  them  some  day,  if  the  market  should  require  it. 


702 


FOLLOWING  THE  EQUATOR. 


Originally,  the  diamond  deposits  were  the  property  of  the 
Orange  Free  State;  but  a  judicious  "rectification"  of  the 
boundary  line  shifted  them  over  into  the  British  territory  of 
Cape  Colony.  A  high  official  of  the  Free  State  told  me  that 
the  sum  of  $400,000  was  handed  to  his  commonwealth  as  a 
compromise,  or  indemnity,  or  something  of  the  sort,  and  that 
he  thought  his  commonwealth  did  wisely  to  take  the  money 
and  keep  out  of  a  dispute,  since  the  power  was  all  on  the  one 
side  and  the  weakness  all  on  the  other.  The  De  Beers  Com- 
pany dig  out  $400,000  worth  of  diamonds  per  week,  now.  The 
Cape  got  the  territory,  but  no  profit ;  for  Mr.  Rhodes  and  the 
Rothschilds  and  the  other  De  Beers  people  own  the  mines,  and 
they  pay  no  taxes. 

In  our  day  the  mines  are  worked  upon  scientific  principles,  un- 
der the  guidance  of  the  ablest 
mining  -  engineering  talent 
procurable  in  America.  There 
are  elaborate  works  for  re- 
ducing the  blue  rock  and 
passing  it  through  one  pro- 
cess after  another  until  every 
diamond  it  contains  has  been 
hunted  down  and  secured.  I 
watched  the  "  concentrators  " 
at  work  —  big  tanks  contain- 
ing mud  and  water  and  in- 
visible diamonds  —  and  was 
told  that  each  could  stir  and 
churn  and  properly  treat  300 
car-loads  of  mud  per  day — ■ 
1,600  pounds  to  the  car-load 
—  and  reduce  it  to  3  car-loads  of  slush.  I  saw  the  3  car- 
loads of  slush  taken  to  the  "  pulsators  "  and  there  reduced  to  a 


SEARCHING   FOR  GEMS. 


FISHING   FOR    DIAMONDS.  703 

quarter  of  a  load  of  nice  clean  dark-colored  sand.  Then  I  fol- 
lowed it  to  the  sorting  tables  and  saw  the  men  deftly  and  swiftly 
spread  it  out  and  brush  it  about  and  seize  the  diamonds  as  they 
showed  up.  I  assisted,  and  once  I  found  a  diamond  half  as  large 
as  an  almond.  It  is  an  exciting  kind  of  fishing,  and  you  feel  a 
line  thrill  of  pleasure  every  time  you  detect  the  glow  of  one  of 
those  limpid  pebbles  through  the  veil  of  dark  sand.  1  would 
like  to  spend  my  Saturday  holidays  in  that  charming  sport 
every  now  and  then.  Of  course  there  are  disappointments. 
Sometimes  you  find  a  diamond  which  is  not  a  diamond ;  it  is 
only  a  quartz  crystal  or  some  such  worthless  thing.  The  ex- 
pert can  generally  distinguish  it  from  the  precious  stone  which 
it  is  counterfeiting;  but  if  he  is  in  doubt  he  lays  it  on  a  Hatiron 
and  hits  it  with  a  sledge-hammer.  If  it  is  a  diamond  it  holds 
its  own  ;  if  it  is  anything  else,  it  is  reduced  to  powder.  I  liked 
that  experiment  very  much,  and  did  not  tire  of  repetitions  of 
it.  It  was  full  of  enjoyable  apprehensions,  unmarred  by  any 
personal  sense  of  risk.  The  De  Beers  concern  treats  8,000  car- 
loads—  about  C.oii!  i  tons  —  of  blue  rock  per  day.  and  the  result 
is  three  pounds  of  diamonds.  A^alue,  uncut,  s.'.i  i.i  m  m  i  to  $7»  >.<  M  M  i. 
After  cutting,  they  will  weigh  considerably  less  than  a  pound, 
but  will  be  worth  four  or  five  times  as  much  as  they  were  before. 
All  the  plain  around  that  region  is  spread  over,  a  foot  deep, 
with  blue  rock,  placed  there  by  the  Company,  and  looks  like 
a  plowed  field.  Exposure  for  a  length  of  time  make  the  rock 
easier  to  work  than  it  is  when  it  comes  out  of  the  mine.  If 
mining  should  cease  now.  the  supply  of  rock  spread  over  those 
fields  would  furnish  the  usual  8,000  car-loads  per  day  to  the 
separating  works  during  three  years.  The  fields  are  fenced 
and  watched ;  and  at  night  they  are  under  the  constant  inspec- 
tion of  lofty  electric  searchlight.  Thev  contain  lift  v  or  sixty 
million  dollars'  worth  of  diamonds,  and  there  is  an  abundance 
of  enterprising  thieves  around. 


7(»4 


FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 


In  the  dirt  of  the  Kimberley  streets  there  is  much  hidden 
wealth.  Some  time  ago  the  people  were  granted  the  privilege 
of  a  free  wash-up.  There  was  a  general  rush,  the  work  was 
done  with  thoroughness,  and  a  good  harvest  of  diamonds  was 


gathered. 


The  deep  mining  is  done  by  natives.  There  are  many  hun- 
dreds of  them.  They  live  in  quarters  built  around  the  inside 
of  a  great  compound.     They  are  a  jolly  and  good-natured  lot, 


IT-'* 


» 


i  a 


■"V'B/ 


n> 


INSIDE  OF  COMPOUND  WITH  NET  COVERING  TO  PREVENT  THOWING  OEMS 

OUT  OF  THE  CRATER. 

and  accommodating.  They  performed  a  war-dance  for  us, 
which  Avas  the  wildest  exhibition  I  have  ever  seen.  They  are 
not  allowed  outside  of  the  compound  during  their  term  of  ser- 
vice—  three  months,  I  think  it  is,  as  a  rule.  They  go  down 
the  shaft,  stand  their  watch,  come  up  again,  are  searched,  and 
go  to  bed  or  to  their  amusements  in  the  compound  ;  and  this 
routine  they  repeat,  day  in  and  day  out. 

It  is  thought  that  they  do  not  now  steal  many  diamonds  — 
successfully.  They  used  to  swallow  them,  and  find  other  ways 
of  concealing  them,  but  the  white  man  found  ways  of  beating 


THE   GREAT    DIAMOND. 


7«  15 


their  various  games.  One  man  cut  his  leg  and  shoved  a  dia- 
mond into  the  wound,  but  even  that  project  did  not  succeed. 
"When  they  find  a  tine  large  diamond  they  are  more  likely  to 
report  it  than  to  steal  it,  for  in  the  former  case  they  get  a  re- 
ward, and  in  the  latter  they  are  quite  apt  to  merely  get  into 
trouble.  Some  years  ago,  in  a  mine  not  owned  by  the  De 
Beers,  a  black  found  what  has  been  claimed  to  be  the  largest 
diamond  known  to  the  world's  history ;  and  as  a  reward  he 
was  released  from  service  and  given  a  blanket,  a  horse,  and 
five  hundred  dollars. 
It  made  him  a  Van- 
derbilt.  He  could 
buv  four  wives,  and 
have  money  left. 
Four  wives  are  an 
ample  support  for  a 
native.  With  four 
wives  he  is  wholly 
independent,  and 
need  never  do  a 
stroke  of  work  again. 
That  great  dia- 
mond weighs  971 
carats.  Some  say  it 
is  as  big  as  a  piece  of 
alum,  others  say  it 
is  as  large  as  a  bite 
of  rock  candy,  but 
the  best  authorities 
agree  that  it  is  almost 
exactly  the  size  of  a  chunk  of  ice.  But  those  details  are  not 
important  ;  and  in  my  opinion  not  trustworthy.  It  has  a  flaw 
45 


706  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

iii  it,  otherwise  it  would  be  of  incredible  value.  As  it  is,  it  is 
held  to  be  worth  $2,000,000.  After  cutting  it  ought  to  be 
worth  from  $5,000,000  to  $8,000,000,  therefore  persons  desiring 
to  save  monev  should  buy  it  now.  It  is  owned  bv  a  syndicate, 
and  apparently  there  is  no  satisfactory  market  for  it.  It  is 
earning  nothing ;  it  is  eating  its  head  off.  Up  to  this  time  it 
has  made  nobody  rich  but  the  native  who  found  it. 

He  found  it  in  a  mine  which  was  being  worked  by  contract. 
That  is  to  say,  a  company  had  bought  the  privilege  of  taking 
from  the  mine  5,000,000  carloads  of  blue-rock,  for  a  sum  down 
and  a  royalty.  Their  speculation  had  not  paid ;  but  on  the 
very  day  that  their  privilege  ran  out  that  native  found  the 
$2,000,000-diamond  and  handed  it  over  to  them.  Even  the 
diamond  culture  is  not  without  its  romantic  episodes. 

The  Koh-i-Noor  is  a  large  diamond,  and  valuable;  but  it 
cannot  compete  in  these  matters  with  three  which  —  according 
to  legend  —  are  among  the  crown  trinkets  of  Portugal  and 
Russia.  One  of  these  is  held  to  be  worth  $20,000,000  ;  another, 
$25,000,000,  and  the  third  something  over  $28,000,000. 

Those  are  truly  wonderful  diamonds,  whether  they  exist  or 
not ;  and  yet  they  are  of  but  little  importance  by  comparison 
with  the  one  wherewith  the  Boer  wagoner  chocked  his  wheel 
on  that  steep  grade  as  heretofore  referred  to.  In  Kimberley  I 
had  some  conversation  with  the  man  who  saw  the  Boer  do 
that  —  an  incident  which  had  occurred  twenty-seven  or  twenty- 
eight  years  before  I  had  my  talk  with  him.  He  assured  me 
that  that  diamond's  value  could  have  been  over  a  billion 
dollars,  but  not  under  it.  I  believed  him,  because  he  had  de- 
voted twenty -seven  years  to  hunting  for  it,  and  was  in  a 
position  to  know. 

A  fitting  and  interesting  finish  to  an  examination  of  the 
tedious  and  laborious  and  costly  processes  whereby  the  diamonds 
are  gotten  out  of  the  deeps  of  the  earth  and  freed  from  the 


TWELVE   MILLIONS   PROFIT. 


7<>7 


base  stuffs  which  imprison  them  is  the  visit  to  the  I)e  Beers 
offices  in  the  town  of  Kimberley,  where  the  result  of  each 
day's  mining  is  brought  every  day,  and  weighed,  assorted, 
valued,  and  deposited  in  safes  against  shipping-day.  An  un- 
known and  unaccredited  person  cannot  get  into  that  place ; 
and  it  seemed  apparent  from  the  generous  supply  of  warning 
and  protective  and  prohibitory  signs  that  were  posted  all  about 
that  not  even  the  known  and 
accredited  can  steal  diamonds 
there  without  inconvenience. 

"We  saw  the  day's  output 
—  shining  little  nests  of  dia- 
monds, distributed  a  foot 
apart,  along  a  counter,  each 
nest  reposing  upon  a  sheet  of 
white  paper.  That  day's 
catch  was  about  $70,000 
worth.  In  the  course  of  a 
year  half  a  ton  of  diamonds 
pass  under  the  scales  there 
and  sleep  on  that  counter; 
the  resulting  money  is  $18,- 
000,000  or  $20,000,0oo.     Profit,  about  $12,000,000. 

Young  girls  were  doing  the  sorting  —  a  nice,  clean,  dainty, 
and  probably  distressing  employment.  Every  day  ducal  in- 
comes sift  and  sparkle  through  the  fingers  of  those  young 
girls ;  yet  they  go  to  bed  at  night  as  poor  as  they  were  when 
they  got  up  in  the  morning.  The  same  tiling  next  day,  and  all 
the  days. 

They  are  beautiful  things,  those  diamonds,  in  their  native 
state.  They  are  of  various  shapes ;  they  have  flat  surfaces, 
rounded  borders,  and  never  a  sharp  edge.  They  are  of  all 
colors  and  shades  of  color,  from  dewdrop  white  to  actual  black  ; 


NATIVE   MINERS   GAMBLING. 


708  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

and  their  smooth  and  rounded  surfaces  and  contours,  variety 
of  color,  and  transparent  limpidity  make  them  look  like  piles 
of  assorted  candies.  A  very  lio-ht  straw  color  is  their  com- 
monest  tint.  It  seemed  to  me  that  these  uncut  gems  must  be 
more  beautiful  than  any  cut  ones  could  be ;  but  when  a  collec- 
tion of  cut  ones  was  brought  out,  I  saw  my  mistake.  Nothing 
is  so  beautiful  as  a  rose  diamond  with  the  light  playing 
through  it,  except  that  uncostly  thing  which  is  just  like  it  — 
wavy  sea-water  with  the  sunlight  playing  through  it  and  strik- 
ing a  white-sand  bottom. 

Before  the  middle  of  July  we  reached  Cape  Town,  and  the 
end  of  our  African  journeyings.  And  well  satisfied  ;  for,  tow- 
ering above  us  was  Table  Mountain  —  a  reminder  that  we  had 
now  seen  each  and  all  of  the  great  features  of  South  Africa 
except  Mr.  Cecil  Rhodes.  I  realize  that  that  is  a  large  excep- 
tion. I  know  quite  well  that  whether  Mr.  Rhodes  is  the  lofty 
and  worshipful  patriot  and  statesman  that  multitudes  believe 
him  to  be,  or  Satan  come  again,  as  the  rest  of  the  world  account 
him,  he  is  still  the  most  imposing  figure  in  the  British  empire 
outside  of  England.  When  he  stands  on  the  Cape  of  Good 
Hope,  his  shadow  falls  to  the  Zambesi.  He  is  the  only  colonial 
in  the  British  dominions  whose  D-om^s  and  comings  are  chron- 
icled  and  discussed  under  all  the  globe's  meridians,  and  whose 
speeches,  undipped,  are  cabled  from  the  ends  of  the  earth; 
and  he  is  the  only  unroyal  outsider  whose  arrival  in  London 
can  compete  for  attention  with  an  eclipse. 

That  he  is  an  extraordinary  man,  and  not  an  accident  of 
fortune,  not  even  his  dearest  South  African  enemies  were 
willing  to  deny,  so  far  as  I  heard  them  testify.  The  whole 
South  African  world  seemed  to  stand  in  a  kind  of  shuddering 
awe  of  him,  friend  and  enemy  alike.  It  was  as  if  he  were 
deputy-God  on  the  one  side,  deputy-Satan  on  the  other,  pro- 
prietor of  the  people,  able  to  make  them  or  ruin  them  by  his 


CECIL   RHODES'   SUPREMACY.  709 

breath,  worshiped  by  many,  hated  by  many,  but  blasphemed 
by  none  among-  the  judicious,  and  even  by  the  indiscreet  in 
guarded  whispers  only. 

What  is  the  secret  of  his  formidable  supremacy?  One  says 
it  is  his  prodigious  wealth  —  a  wealth  whose  drippings  in  sala- 
ries and  in  other  ways  support  multitudes  and  make  them 
his  interested  and  loyal  vassals ;  another  says  it  is  his  personal 
magnetism  and  his  persuasive  tongue,  and  that  these  hypnotize 
and  make  happy  slaves  of  all  that  drift  within  the  circle  of 
their  influence  ;  another  says  it  is  his  majestic  ideas,  his  vast 
schemes  for  the  territorial  aggrandizement  of  England,  his 
patriotic  and  unselfish  ambition  to  spread  her  beneficent  pro- 
tection and  her  just  rule  over  the  pagan  wastes  of  Africa  and 
make  luminous  the  African  darkness  with  the  glory  of  her 
name;  and  another  says  he  wants  the  earth  and  wants  it  for 
his  own,  and  that  the  belief  that  he  will  get  it  and  let  his 
friends  in  on  the  ground  floor  is  the  secret  that  rivets  so  many 
eyes  upon  him  and  keeps  him  in  the  zenith  where  the  view  is 
unobstructed. 

One  may  take  his  choice.  They  are  all  the  same  price. 
( >ne  fact  is  sure  :  he  keeps  his  prominence  and  a  vast  following, 
no  matter  what  lie  does.  He  "deceives"  the  Duke  of  Fife- 
it  is  the  Duke's  word  —  but  that  does  not  destroy  the  Duke's 
loyalty  to  him.  He  tricks  the  Reformers  into  immense  trouble 
with  his  Raid,  but  the  most  of  them  believe  he  meant  well. 
He  weeps  over  the  harshly-taxed  Johannesburgers  and  makes 
them  his  friends  ;  at  the  same  time  he  taxes  his  Charter-settlers 
50  per  cent.,  and  so  wins  their  affection  and  their  confidence 
that  they  are  squelched  with  despair  at  every  rumor  that  the 
Charter  is  to  be  annulled.  He  raids  and  robs  and  slays  and 
enslaves  the  Matahele  and  gets  worlds  of  Charter-Christian 
applause  for  it.  He  has  beguiled  England  into  buying  Charter 
waste  paper  for  Bank  of  England  notes,  ton  for  ton,  and  the 


710  FOLLOWING   THE   EQUATOR. 

ravished  still  burn  incense  to  him  as  the  Eventual  God  of 
Plenty.  He  has  done  everything  he  could  think  of  to  pull 
himself  down  to  the  ground  ;  he  has  done  more  than  enough 
to  pull  sixteen  common-run  great  men  down ;  yet  there  he 
stands,  to  this  day,  upon  his  dizzy  summit  under  the  dome  of 
the  sky,  an  apparent  permanency,  the  marvel  of  the  time,  the 
mystery  of  the  age,  an  Archangel  with  wings  to  half  the  world, 
Satan  with  a  tail  to  the  other  half. 

I  admire  him,  I  frankly  confess  it  ;    and   when  his  time 
comes  I  shall  buy  a  piece  of  the  rope  for  a  keepsake. 


CONCLUSION. 

I  have  traveled  more  than  anyone  else,  and  I  have  noticed  that  even  the  angels 
speak  English  with  an  accent.  —  PudcV nliead  Wilson's  New  Calendar. 

1SAW  Table  Rock,  anyway  —  a  majestic  pile.  It  is  3,000 
feet  high.  It  is  also  17,000  feet  high.  These  figures  may 
be  relied  upon.  I  got  them  in  Cape  Town  from  the  two  best- 
informed  citizens,  men  who  had  made  Table  Rock  the  study  of 
their  lives.  And  I  saw  Table  Bay,  so  named  for  its  levelness. 
I  saw  the  Castle  —  built  by  the  Dutch  East  India  Company 
three  hundred  years  ago  —  where  the  Commanding  General 
lives  ;  I  saw  St.  Simon's  Bay,  where  the  Admiral  lives.  I 
saw  the  Government,  also  the  Parliament,  where  they  quar- 
reled in  two  languages  when  I  was  there,  and  agreed  in  none. 
I  saw  the  club.  I  saw  and  explored  the  beautiful  sea-girt 
drives  that  wind  about  the  mountains  and  through  the  para- 


A   ROMANTIC   HISTORY.  711 

dise  where  the  villas  are.  Also  I  saw  some  of  the  fine  old 
Dutch  mansions,  pleasant  homes  of  the  early  times,  pleasant 
homes  to-day,  and  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  their  hospitalities. 

And  just  before  I  sailed  I  saw  in  one  of  them  a  quaint  old 
picture  which  was  a  link  in  a  curious  romance-  a  picture  of  a 
pale,  intellectual  young  man  in  a  pink  coat  with  a  high  black 
collar.  It  was  a  portrait  of  Dr.  James  Barry,  a  military  sur- 
geon who  came  out  to  the  Cape  fifty  years  ago  with  his  regi- 
ment. He  was  a  wild  young  fellow,  and  was  guilty  of  various 
kinds  of  misbehavior.  He  was  several  times  reported  to  head- 
quarters in  England,  and  it  was  in  each  case  expected  that 
orders  would  come  out  to  deal  with  him  promptly  and  severely, 
but  for  some  mysterious  reason  no  orders  of  any  kind  ever 
came  back  —  nothing  came  but  just  an  impressive  silence. 
This  made  him  an  imposing  and  uncanny  wonder  to  the  town. 

Next,  he  was  promoted  —  away  up.  lie  was  made  Medical 
Superintendent  General,  and  transferred  to  India.  Presently 
he  was  back  at  the  Cape  again  and  at  his  escapades  once  more. 
There  were  plenty  of  pretty  girls,  but  none  of  them  caught 
him,  none  of  them  could  get  hold  of  his  heart;  evidently  he 
was  not  a  marrying  man.  And  that  was  another  marvel, 
another  puzzle,  and  made  no  end  of  perplexed  talk.  Once  he 
was  called  in  the  night,  an  obstetric  service,  to  do  what  he 
could  for  a  woman  who  was  believed  to  be  dying.  He  was 
prompt  and  scientific,  and  saved  both  mother  and  child.  There 
are  other  instances  of  record  which  testify  to  his  mastership  of 
his  profession  ;  and  many  which  testify  to  his  love  of  it  and 
his  devotion  to  it.  Among  other  adventures  of  his  was  a  duel 
of  a  desperate  sort,  fought  with  swords,  at  the  Castle.  He 
killed  his  man. 

The  child  heretofore  mentioned  as  having  been  saved  bv 
Dr.  Barry  so  long  ago,  was  named  for  him,  and  still  lives  in 
Cape  Town.     He  had  Dr.  Barry's  portrait  painted,  and  gave  it 


712  FOLLOWING  THE   EQUATOR. 

to  the  gentleman  in  whose  old  Dutch  house  I  saw  it — the 
quaint  figure  in  pink  coat  and  high  black  collar. 

The  story  seems  to  be  arriving  nowhere.  But  that  is  be- 
cause I  have  not  finished.  Dr.  Barry  died  in  Cape  Town  30 
years  ago.     It  was  then  discovered  that  he  was  a  woman. 

The  legend  goes  that  enquiries  —  soon  silenced  —  developed 
the  fact  that  she  was  a  daughter  of  a  great  English  house,  and 
that  that  was  why  her  Cape  wildnesses  brought  no  punishment 
and  got  no  notice  when  reported  to  the  government  at  home. 
Her  name  was  an  alias.  She  had  disgraced  herself  with  her 
people ;  so  she  chose  to  change  her  name  and  her  sex  and  take 
a  new  start  in  the  world. 

We  sailed  on  the  15th  of  July  in  the  Norman,  a  beautiful 
ship,  perfectly  appointed.  The  voyage  to  England  occupied  a 
short  fortnight,  without  a  stop  except  at  Madeira.  A  good 
and  restful  voyage  for  tired  people,  and  there  were  several  of 
us.  I  seemed  to  have  been  lecturing  a  thousand  years,  though 
it  was  onlv  a  twelvemonth,  and  a  considerable  number  of  the 
others  were  Reformers  who  were  fagged  out  with  their  five 
months  of  seclusion  in  the  Pretoria  prison. 

Our  trip  around  the  earth  ended  at  the  Southampton  pier, 
where  we  embarked  thirteen  months  before.  It  seemed  a  fine 
and  large  thing  to  have  accomplished  —  the  circumnavigation 
of  this  great  globe  in  that  little  time,  and  I  was  privately  proud 
of  it.  For  a  moment.  Then  came  one  of  those  vanity-snubbing 
astronomical  reports  from  the  Observatory-people,  whereby  it 
appeared  that  another  great  body  of  light  had  lately  flamed 
up  in  the  remotenesses  of  space  which  was  traveling  at  a  gait 
which  would  enable  it  to  do  all  that  I  had  done  in  a  min  ute 
and  a  half.  Human  pride  is  not  worth  while  ;  there  is  always 
something  lying  in  wait  to  take  the  wind  out  of  it. 


RARK  BOOK 
COLLECTION 


THL  LIBRARY  OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF 

NORTH  CAROLINA 

AT 

CHAPEL  HILL 

Travel 
PS1310 
.Al 
1897 


